What Happens When You Don’t Wash Your Hands

by PPEF1

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Random, Equestria Girls, Profanity, Pinkie Pie (EqG)
Length: 1115

Rainbow Dash sees signs correlating to things she just said.

Rainbow Dash ordered milkshakes for her and Pinkie at the Sweet Shoppe just like any other normal day. However, she and Pinkie had an argument over how signs always tell you what to do after Pinkie made a smart remark on why she didn't wash her hands. Things proceed to get weirder and weirder as things progresses.

Again, inspired by Nathan Doan, again, and I don't have original ideas...

Published 2021-06-30 04:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-30 04:20:00 UTC

What Happens When You Don’t Wash Your Hands

Rainbow Dash was at the Sweet Shoppe, placing an order.

“Can I get one chocolate shake and one vanilla shake?”

“Sure. Your total comes out to $10.53,” said Mrs. Cake.

“Okay.” Rainbow Dash took out her credit card. “Here you go, you can keep the change.”

“Keep the change? This is your card.”

Rainbow Dash’s expression quickly switched from casual to stern. “I have more important matters to attend to.” A door to the bathroom opened with Pinkie exiting out. “Pinkie.”

Pinkie was confused about how her friend said her name. “Hey Dashie. What’s up?”

“Why didn’t you wash your hands?”

“What do you mean?”

“From my recollection, I heard the sound of a toilet flush, but not the sound of a running sink.”

“Oh, well I mean the sign didn’t say I had to wash my hands.”

“What sign?”

“The sign in the bathroom that says all employees must wash their hands. I’m not an employee so I don’t have to wash my hands.”

“No, that's not how it works. You don’t need a sign to tell you to wash your hands Pinkie.”

“Yeah you do.”

“Yeah you do,” Mrs. Cake repeated sternly.

“What?! Are you guys dumb?” Rainbow Dash didn’t like the fact that she was getting double-teamed.

“Tell me. How did you get into the Sweet Shoppe?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Uh, I walked through that door.” Rainbow Dash gestured her finger to the front door.

“How did you know you were supposed to walk through that door and not the back door?”

“It’s called common sense Pinkie.” Rainbow Dash was just confused as to what point Pinkie was making.

“Because there was a sign that said enter here.” Pinkie pointed to the “ENTER HERE” sign. “So that’s what you did. You entered here.”

“What does that have to do with washing your hands?”

Mrs. Cake then interjected. “How did you know to come up to me to order your food?”

“Where else would I order my food? The trash can?” Rainbow Dash angrily replied. “Like I said, it’s called common sense.

“You might have accidentally gone to the trash can to order your food. But luckily, there was a sign right under you telling you to order here so you wouldn’t actually order at the trash can.”

“I don’t need a sign to know where to order my food.”

“What are you doing standing there?” Pinkie then asked. “Why don’t you go get your food?”

“I’m still waiting on it.”

“Hm, and how do you know to wait there, not five feet over to the right?”

“What do you mean? I’m just waiting in the middle of the cafe.” Rainbow Dash then looked down and right next to her was a sign that read: “WAIT HERE IF YOUR NAME IS RAINBOW DASH”.

“WHAT!?!?!?!” Rainbow Dash was confused.

“Your order is ready Rainbow Dash,” said Mrs. Cake.

“My name is Rainbow Dash!”

“I know. That’s what the sign says.”

“But, why is there a sign that’s specifically created for me?! Like, is there a sign for everyone?! What if your name is something weird like, like, like Jaquarius?!”

Rainbow Dash looked to her right to see a guy with a grey shirt and glasses next to a sign that said: “WAIT HERE IF YOUR NAME IS JAQUARIUS”.

“Hi, I’m Jaquarius.”

“Oh. Nice to meet you Jaquarius.”

Silence then filled the atmosphere.

“WHAT!?!?!?!”

“Do you understand now, why I didn’t wash my hands Dashie?”

“No. Pinkie you still should’ve washed your hands! Hold up I gotta sit down. I’m so confu-”

Rainbow Dash sat down at a table that had a sign on it. It said: “SIT DOWN RAINBOW DASH”.

“Oh no no no no no no.”

Rainbow Dash stood up to see another sign that said: “STAND UP AND SAY “OH NO NO NO NO NO NO””.

“WHAT!?!?!?! I was just looking at it. I… what?!”

“Dashie, calm down. Take a deep breath.”

Rainbow Dash inhaled then exhaled.

“Good, good, good, good, good. Now answer me this question Dashie. Why did you just take a deep breath?”

“Because you told me to.”

“You didn’t have to follow my directions though, right?”

“No I didn’t unless.” Rainbow Dash suddenly started to realize something. “Unless you’re a…”

“I’m a sign!!” Pinkie Pie was now a sign that said: “TAKE A DEEP BREATH”.

“No!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“I’ve been a sign this whole time!”

“NOOOOOOOOO!!! Why didn’t you just wash your hands Pinkie?! Why’d you have to turn into a sign?!”

“Hahahaha!”

“Come on Pinkie just… just change back!”

“No Dashie.”

“Change back.”

***

Fluttershy, Twilight, and Applejack were on their way to the Sweet Shoppe. As they headed towards the front door, Rainbow Dash busted through the front door, bumping into the three in the process.

“Sorry for bumping into you guys. Though I’m glad I did. There’s something weird going on in that place.”

“Okay? What’s up?” asked Twilight

“Well, I was with Pinkie in the Sweet Shoppe and everything I say I see a sign that correlates to what I just said. Even Pinkie turned into a sign!”

The three girls just looked at Rainbow Dash after what she just said.

“Uh, hello?! Did you not understand what I just said?”

“Rainbow.” Applejack then walked up to the rainbow-haired girl. “ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH!?!?!”

Rainbow was taken aback from Applejack’s comment. “What?! No! I’m being serious! Pinkie Pie literally turned into a sign!”

“Rainbow, that's ridiculous,” Twilight added. “Pinkie was probably just doing random crazy stuff like she always does.”

Rainbow didn’t want this argument to last any longer than it already was. “Fine. But if some weird shit happens, don’t say I warned you.” Rainbow Dash just ran off and was out of sight. Suddenly, Pinkie exited out the front door of the cafe.

“Oh. Hey guys!” she said.

“Hey Pinkie. What’s wrong with Rainbow Dash?” asked Fluttershy.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she said that everything she said she would see a sign that correlates to what she just said,” added Applejack. “Also, she said that you turned into a sign, but you’re clearly not.”

“Oh. She did? Well that’s weird.”

“Maybe Rainbow did do some… questionable stuff,” said Twilight.

“I think I’ll go find her and talk it out or something.”

“Yeah. You should do that.”

“Well anyways, see ya guys later!”

“See ya,” replied the three girls.

Pinkie walked past them as they entered the cafe. Before going any further, she looked backed to see the girls enter the Sweet Shoppe as the front door closed.

The party girl let out a sinister laugh. “Those three are gonna have an interesting time.”