I sit by my window with my chin on the window sill as I stare out at my hometown. "It's another lovely day in Ponyville. Yep...another...lovely day in Ponyville. A town with friendly ponies, blue skies, and absolutely...lovely weather that no pony can complain about. Look at the ponies walk around like they do every day. Going to work, going shopping, fillies and colts going to school, ponies socializing. Yep absolutely nothing wrong with the day....EXCEPT IT'S FUCKING HOT AS THE DEPTHS OF TARTARUS!!!!" A mare suddenly looks at me with an incredulous look as she covers her child's ears and walks away while glaring. "Oh suck it up...the kid'll start talking like this one day too."
I'm not normally this irritated. I'm normally a level-headed mare unless one were to get on my bad side. But I'm also a walking contradiction. I, like many, don't fall into what should be a norm. I was born during late winter yet I cannot tolerate the cold. I always wish for summer and yet when it comes, I tend to wish for winter. My perfect in-between for both is obviously spring and fall. Normally I do not mind the summer as I use those days to enjoy trips to the beach or pond, picnics, working on a tan, and experimenting with new drink mixes. But lately, there has been a heatwave that has been getting under my skin. I have no Luna damned idea why a heatwave was called for but I dread the days now when Celestia's ass is in the sky because it makes going out unbearable and I have no idea how other ponies stand it! Yes, there are the occasional complaints about the heat but not as much as I make. Naturally, you'd think that once Luna raises the moon, there would be some relief. But you'd be so fucking wrong!! All the heat seems to have made my home into a greenhouse because all of the heat stays in even at night! You'd think opening a window will garner some form of comfort too, still wrong. There is hardly a breeze. A cool soaking offers only temporary relief as well as the heat overtakes everything once again.
I glare at the sun briefly and growl. "It's...so...fucking....HOT!!!"
"Saying that over and over won't help, babe. Just calm down at have some water. You gotta stay hydrated." Saphirus walked into the room with a tray holding ice water on his back. He pushed up his glasses, which he rarely wears, as he gets closer. I can tell he's a bit fatigued from the heat as well. He's a spring-born stallion and never showed any instance of any change in elements bothering him. Even in the winter, he's totally fine while I'm bundled in layers. He sets the tray in front of us and, predictably, there's hardly much ice left in the glasses. "I know you're uncomfortable but please don't also go teaching colts and fillies new words."
I take a glass in my magic before taking a sip from it. The cold liquid runs down my parched throat but only offers momentary relief. It's as if I'm in a desert and will never find an oasis to relieve me. "They'll learn anyway...but this heat has me at my wit's end. How are you even calm?"
"I'm not but I'm not shouting at the sky all day either."
"Well if Celestia's ass would just settle whatever the fuck this is, I won't shout at the sky so much. She's probably in her estrus cycle and after literal centuries of denying herself pleasure, all that lust has transferred to this Celestia awful heatwave where we all suffer cuz she can't get laid." I sip more water and suppress the urge to just gulp it all down.
"While funny, that's rude love." He deadpans at me as he drinks some water.
"What? It's true...probably." I lay on the floor feel like the extra heat has sapped my strength. "CELESTIA DAMN IT!!! IT'S HOT!!!"
"You are preaching to the choir babe, but stop the bad language. Ponies will hear." He sighed.
"Let them. It's like I'm being punished by Lily...and that punishment is being trapped in her room...a literally heated section of Tartarus."
"Yes but yelling won't help. Also, sit up, laying down only making you hotter."
"Ugh! Can't...no energy."
"Well, that I can agree on. I haven't wanted to do much lately. Even you...a workaholic...has not wanted to do anything. And you still have a mountain of projects left to do." He shrugged.
"This heatwave has been going on nearly a week. Between the dry nonexistent breeze, the sun, and the heat reflecting off the streets, how does any pony have the energy to do anything? Even pinkie seems more hyper...in a deranged way!"
"Pinkie has always been that way. No matter what the weather." He shrugged. "Do you want to go to the lake to cool off?"
"I would if it wasn't on the other side of town and I had the energy to walk," I replied snarkily.
"You can teleport."
"Not when I can't focus. I'll end us sending us to the Everfree Forest...maybe that wouldn't be bad."
"Don't even think about it." He huffed and drank more water. "Why not the Realm? Surely we can find relief there."
"If only. Sometimes things out here influence things in there. So it's a bit heated there too."
Saphy stared at me with a deadpan look and sighed. "You have a negative rebuttal for everything, don't you?"
"Heat makes me a bitch...and not in a good way." My tail flicks and as if on queue it feels like another wave of heat washed over me. "Fucking Celestia...this heat....has to stop...."
"Or what? You'll fill the tub with cold water and sleep in it?"
I stare at him and a slow grin spread wide on my face. Saphirus face hoofs and sighs heavily. "I just gave you an idea, didn't I?"
"You said it, not me. You should join me. Might be comfortable even if temporary." I smirked lazily before taking what water was left in my glass and dumping it on my face. "Because Luna damn it...it's hot."
A few hours after Luna raised the moon, my nose twitched as the scent in the air suddenly changed. A low shaaaaa sound perked my ears and I went to the window. And there I stood and stared out the open window. Saphirus came up behind me and stopped. "Babe? What's wrong?"
"Babe...look...it's raining..." I squeaked out with happy tears.
"Yes. Yes, it is." He chuckled softly and we enjoyed the cool breeze the sudden rain brought with it.
Author's Note
There is actually a heatwave going on and it's unbearable. And also, yes, my room is like its own greenhouse or sauna. Hot and so unbearable I have to sleep with a few ice packs to keep me cool enough to sleep or I'll lose my mind.
