Fallout Equestria: Past-Future Tense Sins (My Little Twilight)
By: JohnDoe
“Is it… a statue?” Applejack hazarded. Rarity continued to hold her forelegs aloft in the air as she gazed stoutly across the library.
“My books told me charade nights would be easy!” Twilight exclaimed. In an effort to bring her friend over to her house more, Twilight had instituted a game night in the library. It was a raging success, even if only the six of them showed up.
“Is it… um… a thing?” Fluttershy squeaked meekly.
Beneath Rarity’s white coat her skin was glowing red. Even with her professional composure in charades, she was finding it hard not to scream at her incompetent friends. Rarity stood on her hind legs in front of one of Twilight’s couches. Every pony was sitting on it. It was a nice couch, comfy, if not a little squished.
Rainbow Dash nudged Twilight, “I’ll tell you what she looks like.” Rainbow leaned in and whispered something quickly into Twilight’s ear. Quickly her cheeks flushed.
“Rainbow, you can’t say that…” Twilight said quickly.
“Wat di’ she say’?” Rarity gasped through gritted teeth. Her poise was still maintained.
“She said you looked very nice, Rarity,” Twilight explained. Rarity continued her death glaze at the Columbian Blue pony. Rainbow Dash bit back a smirk.
“Are y’all a… fountain head thingy?” Applejack guessed again.
“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Is she Gummy?”
Every pony rolled their eyes at Pinkie.
“I don’t know why you invited her,” whispered Rainbow Dash into Twilight’s ear.
“She’s my friend,” Twilight whispered back to Rainbow Dash. Quickly, she added, “Yours too!”
“Oh yeah,” Rainbow Dash conceded.
“I can’t do it anymore,” Rarity moaned as she fell back onto all four legs. She stretched her back legs out. “How did *none* of you get what I was?”
“Everyone hits a roadblock some days, Rarity,” Twilight offered, “anyways, if we didn’t hit roadblocks, we wouldn’t know not to!”
Rarity shuffled over to the couch and landed her fine ass between Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. She turned to Fluttershy, “I was a tree, darling. I thought you’d have gotten that.”
“Hey Twi,” Applejack interrupted before Fluttershy thought to be offended.
“Yeah, Applejack?” Twilight said.
“How many ponies does this here couch support?”
“I’m not sure, Applejack. Why?” Twilight asked.
Applejack scratched her muzzle. “Well, I see it like this. We’ve got six full grown mares sitting, some a little more grown than others,” she looked at Rarity. “Don’t you think we should have a second couch or something?”
Pinkie Pie felt something rumble beneath her. “I think I feel a twitch-a twitch twitch!” Soon everyone felt the couch rumble beneath them.
“W-what’s going on Twilight?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“I’m not sure, Rainbow,” Twilight told her, “but I’m sure it’s-“
*Crack*
Pinkie Pie went flying into a bookcase as the springs in the couch came loose.
“This isn’t according to the book!” Twilight screamed.
A tiny pink head popped up from the book pile on the ground. “Can we do that again!?”
“Twilight,” Rarity began as she gingerly got off the couch, “I’m sure you can get a new couch tomorrow.” Twilight was looking at the ruined couch, her mouth gaping.
“Dang it, Rarity. Why is your ass so fat?” Twilight asked. “If I had to pick one, it would be this couch to be my favorite.”
“My flank is normal sized,” she grumbled. “We’ll all go to Quills and Sofas tomorrow and I’ll pay for your new couch. How does that sound?”
“Thanks, Rarity,” Twilight said.
***
“Thanks for coming, girls. I’m really happy you could be here for me,” Twilight said to her assembled friends. The six had arrived at Quills and Sofas for the early bird special. 20 bits off all sofas.
“It’s no problem, Twilight,” Rarity said. Twilight harrumphed. She was looking at a nice loveseat. It had purple cushions a touch darker than Twilight’s coat.
“What do you girls think of this?” she asked the group.
“I don’t know, what’s the price?” asked Applejack.
“Hmmm,” Twilight hummed as she groped for the price tag, “600 bits.”
Rarity felt her heart lurch. “Twilight my darling, I don’t think it goes with your décor.”
“I think it goes with it,” Twilight told her.
“Yeah, it would really fit the place,” Fluttershy spoke up.
“No no no, dearie. Look at that purple! I know the colors of those books you got, Twilight. It definitely won’t go with those curtains of yours either.” Rarity looked around quickly for another couch.
“I don’t know, Rare. I’ve always had kind of a strange taste in décor.” Twilight sat on the couch. “It’s really comfortable too!”
Rarity sighed, “Twilight, I’m a sort of a fashion knower, a knower of fashion if you will. That includes interior decoration.” She looked over at Rainbow Dash who was ogling a garish rainbow colored couch in the clearance section. “And besides, It’s a ‘loveseat’ Twilight. Don’t you think it’s a bit… suggestive?”
Twilight looked at Rarity. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well,” Rarity scuffed her hoof along the tile floor, “it’s just that, say a stallion came back with you from some sort of event, I don’t know, and you two happened to want to sit down, and all you’ve got it this loveseat. Don’t you think he’s going to get the wrong signal?”
“Wrong signal?” Twilight asked. Fluttershy was trying her best to hide herself behind her wings.
“Oh, uh, you know. A ‘love’ seat?” Rarity explained.
“Well, I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but it seems like Fluttershy agrees with you, and I trust her with my life. So I think we can keep looking.”
Rarity gave a sigh of relief.
“T-Twilight! Look at this couch! It’s perfect,” Rainbow Dash called out. The five ponies looked at her.
“What is that?” Twilight asked.
“Uh, only the most cool couch you’ve ever seen,” Rainbow told them. The rest of her friends slowly approached. Rarity quickly glanced at the price tag.
“Rainbow Dash! How did you find this excellent sofa?” Rarity asked.
“I bet she asked for the wors-“ Pinkie Pie was cut off short.
“Ohohoh,” Rarity laughed heartily. “That’s not nice, Pinkie. This couch rivals even my own in its looks and style, and let me tell you, my chaise lounge is amazing.”
“Ah, don’ know about this, Twilight. That other couch matches your flank, ah mean!” Applejack sputtered.
“What?” Everyone else asked.
“Ah, uh, nothing.”
“Anywho, I don’t know about this, Rare. Applejack’s right, the other couch really did go with my, uh, coat.”
“Twiliiiiight,” Rainbow Dash whined.
“Sorry, Rainbow Dash and Rarity, I’m going with the other couch. It really fits me.”
