https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ss8q1yiLXVCzxspR1cw-mG-GE7lc8NUuwXOfk5DE6bg/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1
Preposterous Precision
By SandvichParty
"You're WHAT?" exclaimed Soarin'.
“Retiring," Fleetfoot repeated, "from the Wonderbolts. You know I’m getting too old to be pulling off dangerous stunts and, personally, I’m tired of risking my neck every day.”
Soarin' sighed. Not only was Fleetfoot leaving, but now they had to find a new Wonderbolt... which meant holding another incredibly packed competition to see who was worthy. The contest had seemed like a good idea at the time. It was the method the entire group of Wonderbolts had agreed on in the past, but Soarin'' regretted saying yes to the massively crowded contests that took hours on end.
Fleetfoot comforted him, seeing his despair. "Hey, you know, its alright. I know its unfortunate I have to leave, but think about it. You'll have a new pegasus to train..." Soarin' grinned. Teaching and practicing with new Wonderbolts, though they were rare, was one of his favorite things to do. He would get to go over almost every maneuver in the book in practice sessions and demonstrate as well. It was a tough, and sometimes frustrating process, but it was always rewarding. Watching them become better and better fliers was great.
He put on a somewhat fake smile. "Thanks, I guess. We'll miss you."
"Yeah, I know." Fleetfoot got up, unfolding her wings in the process. "Listen, I have to tell my family about this... I'll see ya’ around." She took a step forward, bending low, and spoke again. "I've already got somepony taking care of the contest... it'll start in three days a little ways off of Ponyville. You might have to travel a bit, but that's what Wonderbolts are all about." She gave him a wink. "Good luck." Immediately, she jumped off the cloud and slowly flew into the distance.
Soarin’ groaned. Fleetfoot was giving information at the last minute as she usually did. The white-maned mare seemed to always be busy, with no time for talking, even if she wasn’t doing anything terribly important. Then again, at least she had put the time in to get someone to arrange the contest for him... that was a relief. Arranging the contests was almost as bad as actually being at them.
Fleetfoot was almost out of sight now, only a white speck floating near the sun. Soarin’ shook his head and took off from the cloud as well. It was time to tell the other Wonderbolts about this...
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Derpy Hooves was flying above the center of Ponyville, clutching a brown package tightly. She yawned. It was her last delivery of the day, and she hadn't even bothered to see who it was to, only looking at where she was supposed to bring the package to. Luckily for her, the delivery was lightweight, so it didn't tire her out as much as the heavier packages. She began to think. I wonder what's inside? It could be anything... Food, school supplies, toys for a young filly... As her mind wandered, so did her eyes. Quickly enough, she had completely lost her sense of direction and began to fly almost erratically.
Quickly, she regained her mid-air balance, but not before the box had slipped from her hooves. Alarmed, Derpy looked for where it had went. Below her, there were a couple dozen brightly colored papers slowly drifting to the ground. Agh! Dumb eyes... why do you always betray me? she thought. However, she prioritized the falling papers more than blaming herself, and flew downwards in an attempt to grab as many of them as she could.
She caught literally none of the papers, but had managed to beat the brown box in the race to the ground, clutching it similarly to just moments earlier. At least nopony below would get hurt. All the papers had finished their fall and landed in Ponyville, confusing most ponies that were outside in that area. Derpy flew down to the ground and set down the box. There were a few confused onlookers.
"Just, uh, dropped a package!" said Derpy with a slight grin. They nodded in understanding and went back to what they had been doing moments before. Derpy groaned and began roaming around the area, searching for the papers. Nothing over here... not any... ah! she thought to herself, perking up as she found one of the papers.
As it turns out, it was a flier advertising some sort of contest. She read over the text. Near the top, it said in big bold letters - “Will you be the next member of the Wonderbolts?” That took Derpy by surprise. She wasn’t too big a fan of the Wonderbolts but had never seen any new members introduced into the group. The next paragraph in the flier detailed some sort of a contest going on near Ponyville, and the winner would become a real member of the Wonderbolts...
It was, however, the bottom that caught her attention. “We will also be holding a going-away party for Fleetfoot at the contest. Though it is open only to participants, there will be refreshments such as pie, cake, donuts, muffins, cupcakes...” Derpy grinned. Muffins. They were her favorite food, and she hadn’t had the chance to have any fresh muffins since her pay was reduced for a delivery accident. All she had to do was show up!
Then again... she thought. I’m definitely not the best flier, don’t really care for the Wonderbolts... and if I do enter the contest, what if I go cross-eyed mid-flight? That would have disastrous results... but still, fresh muffins! Only three days until it begins... She grabbed the flier in her mouth and placed it back into the box, doing the same for the rest of the fliers. Closing the box, she grabbed it again and flew to the location it was supposed to be sent to.
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Two days later
Rainbow Dash landed on the ground, kicking up dirt as a result of the rough stop. She had just finished preventing a nasty storm from raining down on Ponyville, and was thoroughly pleased with her work. All of this scenery - the trees, houses, flowers, fliers and - fliers? Those were definitely new. Trotting over to get a closer look, she glanced at the paper. She stood there, mouth agape, eyes as wide as they could go upon seeing the first few words -
“Will you be the next member of the Wonderbolts?”
Rainbow Dash read the rest of the flier, absorbing every single detail. She was giddy as could be. A chance to join the group she had dreamed of joining! And it would all take place in a flying competition! I’ve got this in the bag, she thought. Joining the Wonderbolts... oh my gosh, it’s going to be AWESOME! And it’s taking place TOMORROW! She glanced around and breathed a sigh of relief. Nopony had seen her burst of excitement. That would have been embarrassing...
After recovering from the initial shock of seeing a chance to fulfill her dreams, Rainbow Dash thought again. If it’s happening tomorrow, I should really get more sleep than usual... Deciding this was a good idea, she took off and flew into the sky, heading towards her home in the sky. She would sleep as soon as she got there, despite it only being early evening.
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Another day later, at the Wonderbolts competition
Derpy Hooves grinned, seeing the delicacy she favored the most right in front of her eyes. It was perfectly made - the blueberries the perfect distance away from each other, the top only slightly larger than the base, and the wrap around the bottom carefully placed as to not peel off any of the skin once it was taken off. It looked like one of the most delicious muffins she had ever laid her eyes on... and it was hers, just for coming to a flying contest!
There were more of them on the long table placed on the grass, but she had chosen this one simply because it looked like it would taste the best. And now it’s time to put that theory to the test, she thought. She took it with one hoof and carefully peeled off the wrapping with another, and raised it to her mouth.
Before she got a chance to devour it, however, she was shocked by somepony yelling behind her - “Rainbow Dash, you’re up next!” She had nearly dropped her food simply because the yell was so unexpected, but was holding the muffin again before it had the chance to fall to the ground and be ruined. Before she ate it, she thought again. Rainbow Dash is in this contest? Well, there goes my chance of winning... Not that it matters too much, anyways, she thought to herself, eyeing the muffin again.
Finally, she had the chance to take her first bite out of the blueberry muffin, and she did so. Derpy’s hopes were correct - it really was one of the most delicious, fresh muffins she had ever eaten. She hurriedly swallowed the rest of it, and after she finished broke out into an even wider grin. That was the best thing I’ve ever tasted!
Deciding she would take a short break before eating another, Derpy turned and saw Rainbow Dash rapidly pulling off tricks, flying through hoops every which way. Several “ooh”s and “aah”s came from the audience, and the judges simply watched. It was as if she was in four places at once, she was so fast. Finally, she finished off the performance by going through a hoop four times before landing on the ground, panting and smiling. A deafening round of applause sounded from the entire crowd..
I have to admit, that was neat, thought Derpy, turning to the table of food again. Before she was able to pick up another muffin, however -
“And our final competitor is... uh..." There was a pause, and then the flipping of paper. "Derpy Hooves?”
Rather than applause, a collective “Huh?” came from the crowd. Derpy was known as one of the most haphazard fliers in Equestria. So why was she entering a stunt competition?
Derpy turned to the stage once more. Oh... I never really thought about what I should do here...
She sighed and moved onto the ramp that all the other pegasi had taken off from. She took a moment to study the courses layout. There were four hoops, all at different heights in the air. There were more ramps on the ground, presumably to kick off from if she needed another boost after flying low to the ground. Overall, it wasn’t a complicated course, but the catch was that she needed to do it all with as much style as possible.
Well, here goes, she thought. The crowd was completely silent as she crouched low, preparing to take off, and - Ahh! Already she was off to a bad start, rapidly spinning in mid-air like a projectile of sorts. When she tried to regain her balance, she only started going in circles as her vision blurred. Not again! She could barely see where she was going, and if she could, it wouldn’t help much - one second she was looking at the sky, the next the ground, and the second after that, the crowd of ponies watching in what looked like awe.
She had no control over what she was doing other than the power of her wings, and if she stopped flying now she would crash to the ground and be extremely hurt. Have to find a way to... WHOA! Before she knew what was happening, her tail seemed to be caught around something, and she was twirling through the air madly. Concentrating for just a split second, she saw her tail was wrapped around one of the hoops! She tried fixing it, but she stopped for just a second and began to spin the other direction.
It’s untying me... uh... She was almost off the hoop. Now’s my chance! she exclaimed to herself in her head. Severely dizzy, she flapped her wings down with all her might, and she went rocketing straight into the air... and then she was falling. Quick! She spread her wings out, and now she was gliding in a circle. Finally, she touched down safely to the wooden stage floor.
The crowd was silent for just a second, staring at her. Yeah, I knew it wouldn’t - Her train of thought was abruptly stopped by roaring applause from every single pony in the crowd. There were ponies yelling and whistling, all apparently impressed by her accidental amazing feats. Even the judges were out of their chairs, also impressed by what she had just done. They liked that...? she thought to herself.
The only pony not too impressed was Rainbow Dash. "Oh, come on! That was the sorriest performance I've ever..." She couldn't be heard at all from the massive applause coming from all parts of the crowd.
The announcer came onto the stage once more from behind the curtains. "Okay, that's..." Her words were drowned out by the applause. She cleared her throat and nearly shouted. "Enough, enough!" Slowly, the crowd died down, but there was still mumbling coming from the back. Ignoring it, the announcer mare continued. "Well, it seems that we have a clear winner... Derpy Hooves!"
The deafening applause began again. Derpy looked around. Hundreds of ponies cheering for something she hadn't meant to do. It felt good to be accepted. She wasn't "that filly with the weird eyes" or "that pony who never looks where she's going" anymore. Still, it seemed wrong to have taken the spot from other ponies who had been wanting this all their lives.
She trotted off the stage as the applause died down, smiling. As she moved through the small groups of chatting ponies, she received several comments of "good job" and "that was great". The only negative words directed towards Derpy came from Rainbow Dash.
"YOU, of all ponies... won?! How could... I deserved that!" She flew off into the air angrily. That was a bit dramatic, thought Derpy. Glancing around, she saw one of the Wonderbolts beckoning her. She trotted over to the small group of them, all of whom were wearing their usual Wonderbolt apparel.
One of the Wonderbolts turned and faced her. He had a dark blue mane and green eyes... Derpy remembered his name as being Soarin', from the flier.
Soarin' spoke to her. “Wow, that was really impressive! What was your name again?”
“Derpy Hooves. Uh... you really think that was good?”
“Yeah! Especially that ending part, with the twirling around the hoop and all! It was like watching a merry go round go round, and round, and round, and...” One of the other Wonderbolts cleared their throats loudly. Soarin’ smiled nervously. “...Well, you get it.”
Derpy chuckled. “Yeah... so, I get to practice with you guys now?"
“Well, at first, but soon enough you’ll be flying with the best of the best!”
"I sort of meant right now."
"Oh. Uh, nope. Practice starts tomorrow, noon. We’re constantly changing where we practice at, so we’ll mail you the location in case anything gets changed between now and then.”
“Makes sense.”
“Yeah. Not that I thought of it, though... that was Spitfire.”
A mares voice came from behind him. “I’m right here, Soarin’.” A yellow mare also wearing a Wonderbolt costume came out from behind him. Derpy saw that her name was appropriate enough - her mane looked almost like it was made of fire, with a yellow and red scheme.
Spitfire spoke directly to Derpy, moving in front of Soarin’. “Well, I see you won the contest... you didn’t do bad, not at all. Could do with a little more precision, but that’s alright.”
Derpy grinned half heartedly. “To be honest, half of that was on accident.”
Spitfire didn’t look disapproving or disappointed - instead she stayed calm and spoke again, almost laughing. “Well, if that’s what you can do on accident, I’d like to see what you could do on purpose.”
“I don’t think you know what I mean.”
“Oh, I know what you mean, Derpy.” Derpy was slightly surprised that Spitfire knew her name, but then remembered that the announcer mare had said it. “You don’t have to beat yourself up about it, really. You won, and that’s all there is to it, right?”
“I guess.”
“Exactly.” Spitfire turned her head and looked over at the horizon. As the sun set, the sky was turning a deep orange similar to her manes color. “It’s getting late, isn’t it? Not that I don’t want to chat with you any longer, but it’s a bit of a long flight back home for me.”
Derpy understood. “Yeah... I’m kind of tired anyways.”
The Wonderbolts waved goodbye to her as she flew off into the sky. Derpy moved north, in the direction of her house. Well, that wasn’t too bad, she thought. If anything, the Wonderbolts sure do seem nice... Her thoughts were interrupted by drops of rain that began to pour down on her head.
Rain? Shouldn’t the weather pony be doing her job... Oh, right.
Derpy groaned, holding her hooves over her head to at least give minimal shielding from the heavy rain that was falling on her. Flying through the rain was difficult since a pegasus’ lightweight wings would become somewhat off balance, but it was doable. Finally, Derpy’s small house came into view. She landed, trotted underneath the porch to protect her from the rain, and pushed open the door.
She shut the door behind her, keeping the light switch off. She was about to go to sleep anyways. She trotted upstairs, and opened another wooden door that lead into her bedroom. Might as well get my sleep now, she thought, climbing into her bed that she had made that morning. Tomorrow is probably going to be a long day...
End of part 1
