Kim Possible: A Sitch in Equestria

Kim Possible was an ordinary, human, teenage girl. She liked kissing boys, and she also liked being the captain of the cheer-leading team. However, today she was doing neither of those things, and was instead laying horizontally on the cool porcelain tiles of the bathroom floor, contemplating how unfair it is that we eat birds.

"They don't even deserve it," she rebuked her kind, knowing full-well that they absolutely did. "They don't even taste that good," Kim continued, but it simply wasn't Possible to lie to herself.

It was during this moment of reflection that her pager went off, sounding kinda like beep beep beep-beep. With teenage-girl-like reflexes, and the grace of a dolphin, she tossed the pager into the air, and jettisoned a stream of piss straight up out of her butt because that's where girls pee out of, hitting the call button, or whatever's on pagers because I've never used one before.

"What's the sitch?" Kim demanded as the device twirled magnificently through the air and landed perfectly in her pedicured hand.

Cory, from Cory in the House showed up on the screen, and responded promptly, "Hey, it's Wade! Dr. Drakken is in the center of the Earth or something and he's probably doing evil science things so you'd better go stop him."

"Who are you talking to?" came another voice from behind 'Wade', causing him to flinch as this new figure showed up on the screen.

"Is that?!" Kim started, choking on a shocked gasp that was likely just heartburn from all the birds she'd eaten earlier.

"I am the President of the United States!" The figure exclaimed, dabbing to show off how cool he is.

"Wade panicked, turning off the call immediately after that with a 'gotta blast'," said Cory, as he cut the line.

"Wow," Kim wowed, "talk about top ten anime plot twists!" (Audience Laughter). She'd heard all she needed to, and within a minute she was adequately dressed in slutty, teenage-girl clothes. "Now to collect my things and be on my way."

Meanwhile, at Ron's house.

Ron Stoppable was laying on the white-glossed 6 x 6 inch tiles of the bathroom floor, which had 1/8th inch gaps that were grouted with bright white TEC unsanded grout, and finished with grout sealer, absentmindedly peeing straight up. "Boy, I sure hope that dumb bitch doesn't come by and press gang me into saving the world again. I still have a hernia from when we went to Africa, and probably Aids too," he explained. However, it wasn't in the cards, not for him, and Kim Possible burst through the window, raining glass shards everywhere.

"Stop peeing blood and get ready to Journey to the Center of the Earth," she chastised. "Also, where's your pet rat?"

Ron had indeed started peeing blood, an effect caused by the glass shard lodged in the tip of his dick, but he stopped anyway because he was a man child and did whatever Kim told him to do like a little bitch. Also his jokes aren't funny. He pointed one finger in the air, taking on the aire of an intellectual as he explained to Kim not for the first time the error in her thinking.

"Rufus is not a rat. He's a NAKED MOLE RAT, you fucking moronic imbecile. You're a cretin. Your brain probably lacks whatever evolutionary trait allowed neanderthals to crawl their way up from the mud, or at the very least has far too many chromosomes, you leaf-loving, bush-burping, stem-smelling, garden-gorging, plant-popping, tree-tasting, dirt-devouring beast. REEEEE!" is what he would have said was he not a little shit. Instead he nodded and hobbled off to his room to grab Rufus.

An indeterminate amount of time later, a massive drill crashed through the dome-ceiling of Dr. Drakken's center-of-the-Earth base, and Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, and Rufus stepped out, waving at their driver. "Thanks for getting us to the center of the Earth, Hitler," Kim gushed, feeling her womanhood roil with vital goo as he turned and gave her a reply.

"Oh, it's the least I could do after you helped me gas the Jews," Hitler explained, before reversing his drill and undrilling his way back to the surface, sealing the hole in the process.

"Woah Jeez, what are you guys doing here?" asked Dr. Drakken from across the room. "I built my secret, evil base in the middle of the Earth so no one would bother me!"

"Your reign of terror ends here, Drakken!" she exclaimed, taking up a fighting stance.

"What, but you don't even know what I'm doing yet," he started, only for her to walk across the room and Kick him right in the nuts. Wow, Ron was right. What a bitch!

"I don't give a hecking heck what you're doing, I'm just gonna stop you and be back in time for dinner because I'm an ordinary girl and I need to finish my studies and be in bed by 8 'o clock sharp."

Thankfully, Dr. Drakken had surgically removed his testicles weeks ago, so there was no real harm done, and he was able to begin explaining his evil plan unhindered. "I made an evil portal to another dimension, and I put a bomb in it!" He cackled maniacally, rubbing his hands together and revealing his Jew heritage.

"And?" Kim prompted, but Dr. Drakken was finished. That was basically it.

"This is just like that time we went back in time," Ron informed, but it really wasn't.

"Shut up Ron," Kim Possible threatened, smacking him upside the head. Secretly, he liked the abuse.

She looked back to Dr. Drakken, who seemed a little confused. "That's pretty much it. The evil portal is in Shego's ass." They looked over to where Shego was bound to the table, her anus glowing with otherworldly light, and Kim averted her gaze in clear discomfort. Girls can't love other girls. That's forbidden love.

"This isn't comfortable for me either," Shego complained. Wow, what a bitch! "And I'd appreciate it if you'd deactivate this thing before it goes off." She really didn't want to think of what would happen if it detonated, what with the portal being in her pooper and all.

"Talk about an assinine place to put a portal," Ron exclaimed.

Kim shook her head, "You know, who really cares if a bomb goes off in another dimension? It doesn't effect us after all." She really didn't want to disarm a bomb in Shego's ass.

"Well I guess if you're too chicken you can just go," said Dr. Drakken as he motioned towards the exit door that lead directly into the mantle.

Now he'd gone and done it! "What'd you say?!" Kim demanded.

"I called you a chicken, cheep cheep cheep!" Drakken began to dance around, only for Kim to do a flying somersault kick that crushed his head like a watermelon on the beach.

"How dare you? Every day, thousands of birds are eaten, abused, and neglected, and they're crying out for help. Hi, I'm Sarah Mclachlin, will you be an angel for a bird? Please, call the number on your screen, and join the BC SPCA with a monthly gift right now. For just sixteen dollars a month, (only 60 cents a day,) you’ll help rescue birds from their abusers, and provide medical care, food, shelter and love. Call or join online in the next thirty minutes and you’ll receive this welcome kit with the photo of a chicken in a burrito right now. One that has been given a second chance. Thanks to you. Right now there’s a bird who needs you. Your call says ‘I’m here to help.’ Please call right now," said Kim.

"Well, I guess we have to do something about that bomb now. Momma didn't raise no chicken," she continued, standing on Drakken's desecrated corpse with a pensive look. "But it's way too small to fit through, and there's no way I'm reaching my arms in there. Do you have any plans, Ron?"

Did he ever! "Do I ever!" He exclaimed.

"Do you?" She asked.

"Do I!" He replied.

"Do you?" She asked.

"Do I!" He replied.

"Do you?" She asked.

"Do I!" He replied.

"Hurry up," Shego cut in, pretty ass-blasted by their obnoxious conversation. But not as ass-blasted as she's gonna be xDDD.

Ron Stoppable reached into his pants and procured Rufus, his flabby, fur-less abomination, who'd been napping comfortably in his unshaven pubes. "This is the moment we've been training for, buddy!" He then produced a plastic tube out of his pocket with his other hand.

Rufus' eyes lit up with an inner fire that Kim had never seen before, as Ron elegantly C-stepped his way up to Shego, completely bypassing her Dm's as he slipped one end of the tube directly into her already-gaping asshole. Secretly, Shego had always wanted this, but she was simply too shy to let Ron know her true feelings. Plus she's a cuck queen so her other fetish is having her nemesis, Kim Possible, steal her love interest.

"Just like we practiced, little buddy," Ron whispered to his sweet, little rat as he slipped him into the tube. "Get in there and disarm that bomb."

Rufus gave a dutiful salute, before turning around and sliding through the dimensional portal into lands unknown.

Inside Shego's ass, Rufus found himself beset on all sides by a twisted combination of evil machinery and bright green rectum flesh. He had barely a moment for his filthy rat brain to form something some people might consider a "thought" (or in Shego's case thot xD) before his entire body succumbed to what felt like a mighty tractor beam. He used his plague-caked buckteeth to desperately attempt some sort of self-rescue. His massive incisors ripped into Shego's roiling, radioactive assmeat like scissors through construction paper, prompting both a jet of shitty blood to squirt from the new inner asshole directly into Rufus' eyes, as well as a hearty moan from Shego. The jet of assblood served to dislodge Rufus from the colon crevice he'd created, blasting him deeper into the ass with the relative force of a prison hose.

Rufus let out his trademark babbling squeals as he sailed deeper into Shego's rectal canal, straight towards the source of the suction; a gaping void of blazing nothingness that enveloped the surrounding walls in both darkness and light, ebbing across the wet flesh like shadow puppets across a tent wall. Paradoxical as it seemed, to Rufus it was as though he were staring into the sun, yet also into the blackest void. the light around the vortex warped, causing the hole to bulge on either side.

It was shaped like an ass.

The perfect ass.