This wasn't supposed to be this way.
I need you to understand that none of this is my fault. Heck, it’s not even yours. It's theirs. If they had just told me about all the changes about to happen, then maybe I could have prepared better.
But they didn't. They lied. And now it's you that has to pay the price.
You look so cute and unassuming in your crib, sleeping in the moonlight. This used to be my crib, you know. But I got too big and needed a big girl bed. Maybe that's why Mommy and Daddy wanted you. Because they hated to see an empty crib.
Oh, I hate this. I hate that it has to come to this. I was so excited when Daddy said another baby was coming. Well, not that excited. Not at first, anyway. I was mostly confused. Why did Mommy and Daddy even need another baby? Wasn't I enough? Was I just getting too big too fast? I know an empty crib is sad to look at, but that's no reason to just rush out and order another baby.
But then Daddy started telling me all the fun things we'd get to do. All the games we'd get to play. Like tag and hide and seek and keepy uppy. And the tea parties! Oh, the idea that I'd have a new guest at the table! I love Miss Smarty Pants and Mister Quackerbill, but talking to them can get so boring. To have a new little sister to help pour the tea and serve the cookies? What an amazing gift!
And of course you were going to be a baby sister. I mean, even Aunty Twily said so. I heard her talking to Mommy about it while I was sneaking cookies during nap-nap time. She used a whole lot of words I didn't understand like "statistical improbability" and "strength of the alicorn gene in regards to the Y chromosome." Whatever any of that means. They made your nursery (which used to be my nursery) up all in pinks and yellows and violets.
And for all the long, long months when I waited for you to get here, I would just sit in there and look at the walls and I would think about all the fun we'd have. I'd get to teach you how to fly and to teleport and all the other fun things. I'd be the best big sister ever, just like Daddy told me.
Gosh, you took so long to get here. Mommy got so worried she started eating more. I mean, she really got fat. Daddy was more worried about Mommy, I think. He was never far from her, even when we were playing. I got a little irritated when he had to run off to check on her or get her something, but it was okay. It was temporary. Soon you'd get here, and everything could get back to normal.
And then you finally got here.
I wasn't even here when your train arrived. Or was it an airship? Mommy and Daddy said different things. I was staying with Auntie Twily and having a great time playing with Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake. To tell you the truth, I'd almost forgotten you were on the way. But then Auntie Twily found me and hugged me and kissed me and she was laughing so I started laughing and then she told me that I had a baby brother.
...
What?
How did this happen? You were supposed to be a filly like me. Everypony said so. I must've misheard her, that's all. I kept telling myself that the whole time Auntie Twily packed up my things and winked us back home to the Crystal Empire. I wanted to see Mommy, but Gramma and Pop-Pop were there and they told me that Mommy and Daddy were making sure the new baby was okay.
I saw Daddy first. He looked so tired, but really happy too. He hugged me and kissed me and spun me around the room. He told me my baby brother was the cutest thing he'd seen since I was born.
Baby brother.
So I hadn't misheard. It was true. Something terrible had happened and you were a colt. And don't get me wrong. I like colts. Pound Cake is a colt and he's great. But I wanted a sister. I spent all this time getting ready for my baby sister. Baby brothers can't have tea parties. It's, like, a rule. Pound Cake never joins me and Pumpkin's tea parties.
I started crying. I told Daddy I wanted to see Mommy. He took me into the bedroom and she was there in bed. If Daddy looked tired, then Mommy looked exhausted. She smiled at me and held out the bundle she was holding.
And there you were.
Daddy was right; you were cute. You made little cooing noises while you slept, and suddenly I wasn't so sad anymore. Sure you couldn't join in the tea parties, but we could still play. And you were still an alicorn, so I could still teach you all the fun magical stuff. Mommy asked if I wanted to hold you, and I said yes. You were so little, so light. You opened your eyes and I laughed at how big your eyes were.
But you didn't laugh with me.
You didn't even smile.
You just cried.
You cried and cried and cried and cried. You cried until Mommy took you back, and by then I was crying too. Mommy and Daddy told me it was okay. You were new and were scared easily, but I knew the truth.
You hated me from the start.
As the weeks went by, you didn't even give me the chance to change your mind. Every time Mommy asked me if I wanted to hold you, I'd say yes. Not because I wanted to, but because I wanted you to understand that I was trying to make the best of a bad situation. We were stuck together, right? Might as well find some common ground. But every time I held you, you'd just start crying again.
And that wasn't even the worst part! You couldn't play at all! Daddy used to tell me stories of when I was born and I flew all around the castle and played all sorts of games, but you? You can't fly yet. You can barely roll or crawl. You just lay there and cry until Mommy or Daddy picks you up. And don't think I haven't noticed that you cry that much louder when they're doing something with me.
And that's the worst thing; you've taken my Mommy and Daddy from me. Now not a day goes by that I hear "Sorry Flurry, the baby needs me" or "Mommy can't play right now, sweetie. The baby kept me up all night." You either take all their attention, or you tire them out so badly that they can barely remember to pay any attention to me at all!
It's not fair! None of this is right! You were supposed to be this amazing thing, but you've turned out to be the worst thing that's ever happened to me! I know you hate me, but that's okay.
Because I hate you, too.
...
But all of that? That's okay. Because I know what I need to do. There was obviously some mix-up at whatever factory they make babies in. All I have to do is send you back. Then they'll realize their mistake and send my baby sister here. She's probably still there, all alone and sad. But soon she'll be here, where she belongs.
As for you? I'm sure you've got a family out there just as whiny and attention-stealing as you are.
I've been practicing this spell on my toys. So far I've been able to send them across the castle, so sending you back to where you came from shouldn't be much harder. Just have to concentrate... I can feel the magic building in my horn. I can see the light growing and spreading, illuminating you...
Oh no! The light's too bright! I've woken you up. You're just staring up at me with those big eyes. Now you're going to start crying, and Mommy and Daddy will come running and... No! I just have to cast the spell. Just have to...
You aren't crying.
You're smiling at me.
You've never smiled at me before.
...
It's a nice smile.
And now you're reaching for me. You want me to pick you up? Okay. I'll just... there. You're still so light. You still haven't started crying. You're still just smiling at me. Is it the light? Do you like it? I can do all kinds of cool stuff with it. I can show you tomorrow, if you want. In fact, I bet you can...
Hey! Your horn! Are you trying to copy me? That's so cute! Come on, you can do it... Oh, that's a big yawn. Yeah, it takes a lot of concentration at first, but it gets easier. Going back to sleep? Okay, I'll just put you back down and...
Oh no, don't start crying now. I can't just stay here and hold you. Unless...
Well, I am a bit too big for it now, but it's not the worst thing in the world. And you are really snuggly. I see your eyes closing. Want me to sing you a song? It's a song Mommy used to sing to me when I was your size. I'll just lay here with you for a bit. Don't think too much about it if I fall asleep holding you. You're just very comfy.
Yeah, definitely falling asleep now. But that's okay.
Goodnight, baby brother.
I'll send you away tomorrow.
...
Maybe.
Author's Note
For Ezra and Milo
My Sons
