What Seems To Be The Problem?
Dr. Wolf hummed idly to himself as he flipped through the files in his cabinet. Keeping the workplace clean was important, given how patients seemed to have a habit of dropping in without notice.
…And as if on-cue, a knock came at the door.
“Come in,” He called.
Another wolf opened the door, much to Doc’s surprise. His eyes widened at the sight of the Doc. “Another wolf? I thought I was the only one in Equestria…”
Dr. Wolf adjusted his glasses. It seemed like the surprise was mutual. “That’s quite alright, Mr. uh…”
“Odium - Odium Sui.”
“Yes, greetings, Odium. It’s nice to see another member of my species come visit me. Though, I’ve never seen one that looked so…” Dr. Wolf paused for a moment. “...intimidating?”
“What do you—” Odium spotted his reflection in the glass of one of the nearby photo frames. “—oh.”
“Oh! I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Sui. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about your appearance.”
“It’s fine. I’m used to being reminded of my stupid, old, evil self.”
Those words caught the Doctor’s attention. He’d helped other patients deal with their guilt and poor self-image before, but never had he ever heard them say such words like that about themselves.
Odium rubbed the back of his head. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Wolf. It’s just something that I’ve recently felt about myself since those… incidents that happened to me. Among other things that happened to me, especially before then.”
“Incidents?” Dr. Wolf raised a brow. “Well, would you care to talk about them? There’s a comfy chair over there if you’d like to rest your head.”
“Sure. I’ve been needing to go see a therapist for my personal issues for a long time, so I guess I could give it a try.”
After the Doc closed the file cabinet, he grabbed his clipboard and a pen, and sat down in his chair. Odium laid down on the red seat. “Oh!” He gasped, “I almost forgot. Here—” Odium took out a small letter and file and gave it to the other wolf. “I know that I’m not exactly native here in Equestria, but Princess Celestia gave me that summons to help me deal with my... issues.”
Doc scanned through the letter. Odium’s birthplace seemed far beyond any place he’d heard of before. A few red highlights caught his eye, outlining some important information on his new patient. “I see. Well, let’s get started, shall we?”
Odium nodded.
He clicked his pen. “So, what seems to be the problem?”
Odium sighed. “Well, I’ve been having problems sleeping for a long while. I keep having these nightmares about my past, and it’s making it hard for me to think straight. Sometimes, I even have ones about the future. What’s to come.”
“I see, and what happened that gave you these nightmares?”
“Um… well…” Odium took a breath. “It's very personal. I don’t want to have to relive them in my head again.”
“Don’t worry. This is a safe place. And I promise you that nothing will leave this room. I uphold doctor-patient confidentiality.”
Odium sighed as he wiped the sweat off his forehead. “Okay, so… It all started when I was a pup. My parents weren’t entirely sure what to name me. They weren’t very good with names at the time, so they had to choose at random what sounded right to them.”
Dr. Wolf raised an eyebrow. “And they gave you the name ‘Odium’?”
“Yeah.”
“I see. Go on.”
“Right. Now, about my birthplace.”
“Yes.” Dr. Wolf flipped up the first page on his clipboard. “It says here that you lived in a place called ‘Rogue Town’. Is that correct?”
Odium nodded. “Just remembering that place gives me chills.”
Dr. Wolf raised a brow. “And why is that?”
“Well… let’s just say that it wasn’t the best place to live in, growing up.”
“Care to explain?”
Odium cringed. There was so much to talk about, but… reliving those experiences? He hung his head. He felt his paws curl into a loose fist.
“It’s alright, Odium. Maybe we should talk about something else instead. Will that help?”
Odium took a deep breath. “No. I want to do this.”
“Are you sure?”
“O-of course.” Odium nodded, loosening his paws. He had to keep his nerves under control. “Okay, so… During my time as a pup, I grew up in a sort of rundown home with my family. We didn’t have that much money at the time, and I was homeschooled until I was like… twelve? Thirteen?”
“Okay. So how did your parents compensate for that?”
“Well, my father, Kudos, used to work as a social worker. My mom, Palma, had to stay at home to take care of me and my younger siblings. It was a very slow process, but we did the best we could with what we had.”
“I see. And how did your family homeschool you?”
“They taught us themselves. We couldn’t afford to be sent to school, so my parents taught all of us lessons of their own.”
“What kind of lessons?”
Odium rubbed his chin. “Oh, things like math, science, reading... most importantly, though, morality.”
“Morality?” Dr. Wolf looked up from his clipboard.
“Yep. That’s the lesson that I’ve learned the most from, and it even helped me realize what I want to do in life: Helping others and stopping injustice.”
“I see.”
“Sorry if it’s a little vague. I don’t want to take too long to give you my entire life story.”
“No need to worry, Mr. Sui. Just take your time and say what you need to say.”
“Okay.” Odium gave a nod. He let out a deep, slow, sigh. “There were a lot of problems in Rogue Town. Someone needed to fix them. Things like widespread poverty, stealing…” He scratched his head. “Widespread corruption, even. Plenty of crime to go around. Just...” Odium shuddered. “Bad things. Nobody was left unaffected.”
“Helping others is good, but have you and your family ever had the time to relax and spend time together? Tending to the needs of others is rather stressful.”
“Yes.”
Dr. Wolf cocked his head. “Like when? Give an example.”
“Like giving each other gifts during Hearth’s Warming Eve…”
“Mmm-hmm.” Dr. Wolf wrote something down.
“And the time when I attended an actual school after my parents scraped together enough money…”
“I wouldn’t necessarily say that that would lead to time spent relaxing, per se, but go on.”
“And that time when I had to go to college and graduate.”
Dr. Wolf tapped his pen on his clipboard. “Interesting. And that’s when you decided to move to Equestria? To help others like you did in Rogue Town?”
“Well, not exactly. I didn’t even know about Equestria at the time. Not until I met someone who did.”
“And who’s that?”
“A seer named Calypso. After I moved out, she took me in while I was traveling through the Black Tree Forest. It was freezing outside, so I went with any shelter I could get. She... tricked me for years into thinking that Twilight and her friends were evil. It’s a long story.”
“W-why should she do that?” Dr. Wolf stammered. “Did she have something against the Elements of Harmony?”
Odium sighed. “I don’t know. I was too much of a gullible idiot to ask back then. I don’t think I’ll ever know, anyway, since she… well, passed on not long after. Right in front of me, even.”
“Oh! I’m sorry to hear that.” The Doctor adjusted his glasses. “Had you become close to her by then?”
“Yeah…” Odium shook his head. “She was my only friend at the time. Eventually, though, I traveled to Equestria and took up arms against Twilight and her friends. I know it was probably a stupid thing to do in hindsight, especially after learning that the things Calypso told me were twisted truths. But deep down… I guess I just wanted to carry on her legacy in a way. I didn’t think that anything I did myself would matter, so maybe, if I could keep someone else’s work alive… I...” He groaned. “I don’t know. I was being too trusting of her. I still don’t know what to think. And now, after all that I’ve done—”
“But then you realized that what you were doing wasn’t the right thing to do?” Dr. Wolf cut him off from his ramble.
“Yeah. It wasn’t easy, though. I felt like I couldn’t live with myself after that. I wanted to help protect others, and yet, somehow, I was trying to hurt a group of ponies that I’d just met. After hearing what Calypso told me about them, I guess I just wanted to make them feel the pain that I thought they caused. I wanted to be given a punishment for my actions in order to make up for what I’d done. I felt like I deserved all the pain in the world for what I did. I…” Odium paused, letting his voice dim to a quiet whimper. “I was always taught in absolutes. I thought I deserved to be banished for what I did.”
“Banished?” Dr. Wolf hid his surprise at the suggestion.
Odium nodded. “Luckily, they were merciful enough to not send me to Tartarus like I thought I deserved. They gave me another chance. There were some mishaps after that while I helped to fix some property damage, but they were already taken care of for the most part. Once that was done, I went off on my own again to mend the other wrongs I committed along the way. Thankfully, none of them were nearly as bad as what I tried to do to the Elements.”
Dr. Wolf looked through the notes. “You sure seem to have been through a lot, Odium.”
“I know.”
“Mr. Sui. Do you believe that it is these experiences that are causing these nightmares? I imagine it must be at the very least, rather stressful.”
Odium rested his face in his paws. “I-I guess so.”
Doc rested his clipboard on his lap and cleaned his glasses. “Now, I know that it’s basically your destiny to always help others and do the right thing at all times, but you need to realize that while doing the right thing is very important, it’s not always easy. You don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself. I suppose this is what drove how you felt… feel about the mistakes you made?
Odium frowned, looking away. “Yes.”
“We’ve all done things that we knew or thought were wrong. What’s right to one person may be the opposite to another. No one is perfect. Nobody can be perfect. We can’t expect ourselves to live up to the standards we give to ourselves at all times, even on a moralistic standpoint. Life isn’t like that.
Dr. Wolf set his clipboard aside. “You’ve tried your best to always help others, even at your own risk. Your family would be very proud of you for that. But, please consider that you can’t put yourself on a moral pedestal and expect yourself to always do the right thing for others. It’s admirable, yes, but not always possible.”
“Then what can I do instead? I’ve been doing this for so long. I can’t completely change that in an instant, right?”
Dr. Wolf looked at the clock. “Of course not, nor am I expecting you to, either. Change and morality aren’t always as easy as one would think, after all. Maybe instead of focusing so much on being morally perfect for everyone, try focusing on just being a good person. Not a perfect one, but one that still helps others regardless. Do you think you can do that?”
“Y-yeah. I think so.” Odium nodded.
“Good.”
A striking sound hit both wolves’ ears. They turned to the clock, which struck 3:00 pm. The Doc placed the clipboard on the table.
“Oh. It looks like my session is already up. Sorry I took so long, Doc.”
“That’s fine, Mr. Sui. It’s been a pleasure meeting you. Feel free to come visit me for a chat anytime if you have any problems that you’d like to discuss.”
“Sure. Thank you, Dr. Wolf.”
“And just remember that you are not alone. Helping others is important, but it’s not always easy.”
Odium slowly stood up from the seat and gave Dr. Wolf a thumbs up. “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.”
The second wolf then walked out the door and carefully shut it behind him.
Dr. Wolf took a deep breath and let out his catchphrase. “It’s good to be helping.”
Author's Note
I know that I'm supposed to be taking a long break from using OCs in general, but I hope you can at least give this story a chance. If you can, then thank you for doing that.
