Spike hid behind a corner watching Twilight sit down and start to go through the books and loose papers that he had placed on her stack for the day, while she grabbed her morning tea. Spike had been even more self-conscious since his, or more properly her last growth spurt where along with some height making her a hair shorter than her big sister and gaining weight in more mare focused areas giving her a fuller body shape, instead of the muscular bulk she was expecting.
"Spike, I can see you behind that corner. Can you come here?"
Spike started to approach her, her mouth feeling very dry and unable to form words. She tried despite of this, but before she could form any Twilight had gotten up and wrapped her arms around Spike. "Come here sweetie, I know we've always had an odd relationship. Especially with others not being sure if you're my brother or my adoptive son, but with what motherly instincts I've grown from our relationship. It's that I will always want my daughter to be happy no matter what."
At hearing Twilight recognize her as her daughter or sister, it really was a weird relationship. Spike couldn't help but burst into tears of joy that the single closest person in her life. Her tears wear starting to soak Twilights shirt before both started to fall onto the floor, where they stayed for as long as Spike needed.
"You know Spike, this isn't the first time you've given me hint's about this."
Pulling away from Twilight, Spike sniffled, "Really Twi what were those?"
"Well it started with your last growth spurt, but I wasn't entirely sure, so I decided to freshen up on what's currently available about the subject," Twilight said while nodding to the stack of books she was about to read. Stepping over to the pile, Spike Started to read the titles. "Transgender, Every Question You Had and More You Didn't." "Transgender foals, A Parents Comprehensive guide." "My Foals Trans, What Now?" and so on, and so on.
"The cute part is you were the one who grabbed all those books for me and you didn't even notice," Twilight said before Spike stuck out her tongue and made a face. This cause both of them to laugh, which ended with Twilight asking Spike if it would be alright if they could take today and make it all about Spike. Which she pondered, before having to admit neither she nor Twilight had anything happening. She gladly accepted looking forward to some much-needed girl time.
~~~~~~~~
Finalizing the final touches of Spike's claws with the nail polish, "There we go Spike now remember to be careful while those dry."
"Thanks, Twi. You know it feels weird. Before now I always projected what others thought of me, but now that I've made this step, I realize that I'm not sure who I am, like what makes me me. I'm not even sure if my name still fits me."
"well they say a new wardrobe helps define a new outlook on life and I will be up in Canterlot this weekend with a free day. I can easily include you and we can have a day with just us and an endless shopping spree for you. Plus that will give you a few days since this is Wednesday to think about stuff and mull them over."
Spike nodded, "Thanks for the offer, I would love to go with you and it's like Rarity always says... Buck me, Rarity. I really need to tell her."
"Best do it first thing tomorrow morning when she is the most free before she starts focusing on her work for the day, after all the chasing you've done to her she has right before any of our other friends," Twilight said as she was setting the bottle of nail polish down on a night stand, but missing it causing the bottle to tumble towards the floor. Reacting poorly while trying to grab the bottle before it broke and they would have a mess to clean, Twilight ended up tumbling off the bed right behind the bottle causing it shatter in her hand right as all of her body weight was put onto said hand.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch," Twilight said as she started to examine the broken glass shards in her hand.
"Twilight are you okay? Do we need to call someone?"
"No my alicorn powers should be able to heal this just fine, but the initial part still hurts." She said as she started to pull the glass out but found that some pieces were caught in her flesh.
"Dang, it's like a barb or something. Spike, can you get me the tweez...ers?"
Spikes eyes were as large as dinner plates. "THAT'S IT!"
~~~~~~~~
'Okay Barb, you can do this. Even if she turns you down for a relationship, she is still your friend and she'll always be no matter what.' Barb kept telling herself as she made her way to the Carousel Boutique. It was still early and if she timed it right then Rarity should be getting breakfast ready.
Upon reaching the front door of the boutique Barb reached up and gave three rapid knocks. She started to fidget in place while waiting for an answer and was about to knock again, but was stopped when she heard Rarity shout out from a window that she was coming.
The door slowly opened, "Hello how may I help... Spike. So glad to see you, but what in Celestia's name are you doing here this early."
"Well, I figured some things out last night, and I felt it would be wrong to wait longer than a day to tell you and I wanted to catch you before you dive into your work."
"Oh, Spikey how sweet of you. Do come in while I put some morning tea on to boil." Rarity turned as she gestured Barb in and guided her towards the side kitchen she had in the back of the boutique. Rarity started to turn a dial on the stove and place a kettle of water, while Barb sat down in one of the chairs at a small table.
"Alright, Spike what was it that you needed to tell me?"
"Rarity, I'm transgender."
~~~~~~~~~
CRUNCH rang out as the door to the Carousel Boutique slammed into Barb's face. Any pony nearby had winced because it was clear by the sound a nose if not a few bones were broken at the least. Barb started to become enraged over the negative reaction Rarity had. She started to pull out some tissues from a small pack in her pocket as she rushed back towards the castle, with the only thing on her mind was to quickly pack a bag and rush to Canterlot, to stay with her adoptive grandmas/moms Celestia and Luna for a spell if not indefinitely. Knowing full well that the last thing Ponyville needed was a pissed-off dragon and one that was justifiably so.
Twilight was walking down one of the many halls of the Castle of Friendship when she heard the door to Barb's room slam open. She rushed to her room only to find her trying to close a suitcase that looked like it had been packed in a hurry. "Um Barb, is everything okay?"
"No Twi, everything has gone tits up, and it's all because of Rarity, so I'm going to Canterlot and stay in your old room of the castle to cool off for a few weeks," Barb said as she kept trying to close the suitcase with one hand.
"She turned you down didn't she?"
"If that was what she actually did then things would be very different, but as I'm sure in some part of my mind and I'm willing to bet yours as well, there was always a chance that she would turn me down whether it was because of different age or different species..." Barb finally turned around to face Twilight and show her full on how damaged her nose and snout were. "But she threw me out along with breaking my heart... and my nose I guess."
Twilight who had been resting her hand on the door frame, broke off a large chunk turning it into a fine powder as she took in the sight of Barb's broken nose. All she was thinking about was that she had a picnic date scheduled with her friends later that day and she was going to make it very clear that no pony breaks her daughter's heart.
Barb gulped when she saw the frame break and magic start to become visible around her mother/big sister. "Um, maybe I have more than one reason to skip town."
"Maybe, but first Barb you are going to tell me every little thing that Rarity did to you this morning."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Barb set her suitcase in the carry-on space above her private cabin and sat down as she waited for the train to take off for Canterlot. Being a part of the royal family had its perks, such as the cabin giving her some privacy to make a call to her aunt/cousin-in-law of love Cadence.
Cadance sat Flurry Heart down in her high chair as Shining Armour started to pour cereal into three bowls. Sitting down herself, Cadance's phone rang and she immediately answered it when she saw the caller ID. "Spike, good morning and may I ask what has you calling me so early?"
"Hey Cadance, actually I have something important to tell you and then I need some love advice."
"Oh, love advice you say, well you called the right mare for the job then. Now, what was the important thing you needed to tell me?"
"Now please don't be mad, but... I'm trans. I'm actually a mare."
"That's wonderful and don't worry I'm not mad and I fully support you. I am the princess of love after all and I had my suspicions after your last growth spurt. Now tell me do you have a preferred name?" Cadance said in a calming voice.
"I'm going by Barbara or Barb for short now, but only you and Twilight know that at the moment. I kinda beat feet out of Ponyville, on my way to Canterlote for a spell. Which is the second thing I need to ask you about. Well... when I told Rarity this morning she... kind of got pissed, tore my heart to shreds, and slammed the door in my face." Barb replied hesitantly.
Cadance quickly put a silencing spell over Flurry Hearts ears', "Tell me what the BITCH said! Details now." she said sharply.
After Barb gave a recap on the events of that morning over speaker so that Shining could listen in She hung up and placed some earbuds in her ears. She still had several hours before she would reach Canterlot.
Cadance however was fuming. Shining had never seen her so mad. "You know dear, it's supposed to be my role to beat up the pony that breaks his little sister's heart not his aunt-in-law. But I'm not sure who will beat her up first Twilight, you or Celestia."
Cadance started to calm down, "Wait why Celestia?"
"She is Barbs grandmother after all and you know better than anypony how she would take it since you're one of the few ponies who has seen her mad before."
"True, very true. Maybe I should take a side roll in her demise and give it to Celestia. It sure sounds like Rarity deserves her wrath far more than mine. Regardless, she's dead meat anyways."
Barb pushed open the old door to the apartment that she and twilight stayed in for most of their younger years. Tossing her suitcase off to the side, she plopped down onto the lown bed, kicking up a layer of dust.
"*Cough* All right no time to rest. Clearly, the maids are still in fear of the wrath of the infamous Twilight and her organization habits that they still haven't come in here after all these years." Surveying the room to form an attack plan, Barb set out to tidy up and make space for her stuff and not just hers and Twilights.
Surfaces were dusted, floors polished, and any loose items were put away. Finally, Barb could start working on her own suitcase. Wheeling it over towards a dressing and opening it, she was hit with a reminder of how little of an identity she had. Polos of muted single-tone colors, khakis that weren't any more interesting. Thinking back, if she had left anything behind, but no. She had brought all her clothes with her. Enough for a week and a half of clean clothes. 'Do I not even own a T-shirt?' Barb wondered to herself before she heard a knock on the door.
looking through the peephole, she lit up and quickly opened the door. "Auntie Luna, I see word of me returning has reached your royal ears."
"Yes dearest Nephew, but only from a passing guard. We are uncertain if dearest Sister knows of your arrival. Regardless, we came to enquire if you would join us for our usual workout routine. We have been sensing some distress from your dreams and were going to investigate when this opportunity arose."
Barb started to wave her off, "I'm sorry Luna, but I don't even own any exercise clothing."
"Tis alright we have a spare set in your size, and you appear as though you need to... how do the youth say 'beat the shit out of something,' and what better item than a punching bag?" Luna said insistently.
Barb was a little taken aback, but it was Luna this was coming from. One of a select few with who she wholeheartedly would trust her life with. "Alright, Luna I'm game."
"Huzzah then let us go forth to the royal gym."
The two made small talk and caught up with what had happened in their lives, while Barb steered clear of what had happened that morning and the fact she was trans. With luna being gone for so long, she wasn't sure how she would react to the concept.
As they entered the Royal gym, Barb took in the view, since it had only been built six months after Luna had returned and Barb had been well established in Ponyville by then. It was a medium-size gym with the standard equipment along one wall, two fighting rings on the other side. One being an octagon and the other a traditional boxing ring. Finally, there was a long stretch of extra padded mats lining the center of the gym and dividing the two sides.
Luna set her bag down on a nearby bench and pulled out her exercise outfit and then proceeded to pull out the spare for Barbara. once Luna turned around and presented the set to Barb, she quickly noticed that the set consisted of a tight pair of yoga pants and a sports bra.
"um Luna you know I'm..."
"Trans, I had a hunch and when I heard you had come back to the castle, I couldn't waste the opportunity to talk with you in the waking world to help you with whatever it is troubling you," Luna said cutting Barb off and ending the potential song and dance that could have arose from the conversation.
Barb simply nodded, "Yes I am, but when did you figure it out I mean?"
"It was shortly after your last growth spurt when you grew more curves and gained two bust sizes, which means you'll definitely need that sports bra." Chuckles escaped from both of them.
"You know, you're the third mare to tell me that today," she said as she grabbed the clothing from Luna.
"Really who are the other two?"
"Twilight and Cadance, but now that I think about it it makes sense for all three of you to figure it out on some level. Now, are there any changing rooms, I'm still not that comfortable changing in front of others?"
Luna pointed to the back of the gym and explained that all the stalls were single individuals only, so privacy regardless of gender wasn't an issue. Now if only her pushes for such accommodations would actually be implemented elsewhere, but that required jumping around laws most wouldn't think of.
~~~~
Stepping out of the changing room, Barb saw that Luna had finished changing and was already strapping on a set of hand mats. "Um, I thought you suggested that I needed a punching bag?"
"I did, but after I took a closer look, it seems Tia put it out of commission and tried to hide it with duct tape. One hit and it would go straight to the trash. So let's get started, I want to see some punching." Luna said as she moved out to the open area and put up her hands, inviting Barb to punch them.
She started out with light punches, trying to find a rhythm, "So what would cause Celestia to KO a punching bag?"
"Normally it would be the nobles, that she takes out on the punching bag, but If I had to guess it would be the trade agreements with the Diamond Dog Clans and the Dragons. But Ember isn't scheduled to arrive till Friday, so it must be from the clan leaders being stubborn over something. Now faster with those punches."
"Really Ember's coming it will be nice to see her again." Barb was still very stiff and restrained with her punches,
'This isn't good, need to find out whatever it is that is upsetting her dreams.' Luna thought. "Come on you're still hitting like when you just a pipsqueak all those years ago on my first Nightmare Night."
Barbs Stance changed and a fire was lit in her eyes. "Bingo," Luna Whispered to herself.
Barbs punches started to become more aggressive and reckless as the speed of them picked up. "That little pipsqueak, who couldn't stand up for themselves, that did whatever he was told, without question! Even if it meant he was being used like just another tool day in and day out! The pipsqueak that can't even figure out who they are so they just wore the same pre-sorted sets of clothes that didn't even qualify as having any sort of taste!"
It was becoming harder for Luna to keep up especially when Barbara started mixing in kicks along with the punches. "That pipsqueak who could barely be considered a background character and never thought of trying to figure out who they were! Well, I got news for you! That pipsqueak died this morning when that BITCH Rarity shattered his fucking HEART!"
It was on those last few words that Barb gave a roundhouse kick, which left Luna with only seconds to spare from being able to brace for it. It sent her sliding several feet, on contact regardless, and left her more than winded.
"So who am I then?" Barb whispered to herself before she even noticed that Luna was now several feet away and frozen in place. "Oh my gosh Luna, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"
The only thing Luna was able to say as she was starting to shake was, "I was not expecting all of that."
Barb helped Luna to a nearby bench and waited for her to come back to her senses. She then went on to tell her about what Rarity did that morning and that was the reason why she had come to Canterlot at all. About how she felt about herself and about how right before Luna knocked on her door she realized how little personality she had or even attempted to find for all those years.
"Also Luna, you haven't told me why you're so comfortable with me being trans. With you being gone for so long, most others would think that you would be repulsed by the idea and even find it taboo?"
Luna sighed, for it was not an easy topic to talk about, "Well it's not a lite subject and can be most grim, just know that despite what Rarity did to you, you've already found several supporting friends that will always be there to lend a hand. For others, however, they aren't so lucky. They don't have any friends or family to rely on and they have to endure it all on their own. And sometimes they aren't strong enough and they resort to drastic measures. Permanent measures, and in those final moments the brain does the only thing it can and it dreams as the life slowly leaves their body. It would happen long ago, before my banishment, but few realize it's far worse nowadays. After my return when I learned of this, I swore to myself that I would be there in their final moments comforting them and bring what little joy to their lives that I can provide no matter how small. that's why I'm so comfortable with it because I've seen the worst results from it and I try to prevent it long before it gets to that, but I am only one mare despite being an alicorn and sometimes I can't make it in time. Those hurt the most."
Luna turned to Barb and gently placed her hands on Barb's cheeks as tears started to form in her eyes. "Now Spike, I want you to promise me something. I want you to promise that you'll never make me have to be there to comfort you. I know with my immortality, that it's inevitable to see friends and those I consider family die, and I've come to terms with age, disease, even war, and battle. But please never do something so drastic and make me have to be there to comfort you in those final moments. I wouldn't even know what I would do when my world shatters and I have to be there to comfort somepony I consider myself so close to. So please even on your worst days, reach out to somepony, because you have so many that want the best for you. Just please never make me."
Barb cupped one of Luna's and did her best to reassure her. "Don't worry Luna, I promise I'll always find somepony. I'm nowhere near that breaking point and I don't think I ever will be."
Luna sniffled and started to cheer up upon hearing that. "Also, I'm now realizing I never told you, but I'm going by barbara or Barb for short."
Luna giggle and realized she never did ask Barb that. And with the mood becoming less melancholy they enjoyed each other's company till late in the day.
~~~~~
However, back in Ponyville, another fight was brewing and it wasn't for training.
Twilight was approaching her and her friend's usual picnic spot in Ponyvilles local park. She couldn't help but wonder if any of them had heard about how Rarity broke Barb's heart earlier that morning. Normally gossip would travel fast in a small town like Ponyville, but with Rarity being the main source of gossip at the center of it, she probably would keep her lips sealed. Reaching the blanket she said her hello's and found her target who had been preoccupied and was facing away from her which was perfect for what Twilight had in mind.
"Afternoon Rarity, say there was something important I wanted to show you, "Twilight said without any trace of malice.
"Sure darling, what is it?" Rarity turn turned to face Twilight only to have her vision encompassed by Twilight's fist.
A loud CRACK rang out as Rarity was flung back, hitting a tree in the process. No pony in attendance knew whether the loud crack came from the tree or bone. They just stared in a stunned silence barely moving.
AppleJack was the first to recover her composure. "What in tarnation was that for Twi?" she said moving herself in between Twilight and Rarity.
"Oh, it's real simple AppleJack. I got my fair punch in before anyone else did, it's really that simple."
AppleJack only became more confused as she was realizing this required context that the rest of them didn't have.
"Ah, I can see by your looks that you are out of the loop. It seems the Gossip hound doesn't like to spread it when it's about her."
At this point, Rarity started to stir and Pinkie pie and Fluttershy moved next to her to make sure she was alright.
Twilight continued, "Now this should really be Spike's story to tell, well I should say Barbara's story because this morning she came out to me as transgender and identifies as a mare. But I mistakenly thought that it would be best for her to inform Rarity here seeing as she had been pining for her for so many years now with nothing to show."
Rarity was now standing on shaky hooves growing angry with Twilight.
"However instead of letting my little Barb down gently, Rarity here decides to not only shatter her heart to pieces, throw her out of the boutique in broad daylight but also have the gall to physically slam the door in her face."
Rarity was livid at this point and she wouldn't stand for it. She rushed for Twilight despite the pain still fresh in her body and pushing AppleJack out of the way. "How dare you I had every right to...!"
Rarity found that her mouth and body had been sealed in Twilights magic. With fury in her eyes, she watched as Twilight rested a finger underneath Rarity's chin. "No Rarity, no you didn't and I really should be mad, but I know others will fulfill my rage by proxy. I just wonder who wants you dead more. Barbara's aunt Cadance, the physical embodiment of love or Celestia. Who Barb and Celestia herself view as the second biggest mother figure in her life right behind me."
Fear replaced rage in Rarity's eyes as she realized how true Twilight's words were. She might as well have pissed off the Great Creator Faust herself.
Author's Note
Any feedback is appreciated, especially because I feel as though I'm rushing through these beginning chapters.
