Doctor Whooves and the Ever Expanding Roaster of Expendable Cohorts Through Time and Space!

by MonsieurDreamer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Comedy
Length: 1031

Twilight Sparkle has a few questions and the Doctor has most of the answers.

The Keeper of the Omniversal Spectrum has called upon the Doctor to save the day once more. But before all that day-to-day business Twilight Sparkle has a few questions that really do need answering such as: why are there so many ponies in the Tardis?

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I bet you clicked on this because of the image.

Published 2012-09-08 01:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-08 01:24:02 UTC

Chapter 1 of 1

The Doctor busied himself working his way round the console. A task that once entailed a rather athletic mix of spins and stretches whenever the Tardis crashed into the unexpected, struggled against mind boggling odds or him showing off how he didn’t need to be paying that much attention to operate his sexy Tardis. Fast forward two weeks, after being shunted across to another universe by the Keeper of the Omniversal Spectrum, and instead of going about his business like always he now struggled from one section of the console to the next, having to contend with being a pony, which entailed balancing on his hind legs, propping himself against the console and making use of stumps instead of opposable digits. Those beautiful digits were what made everyday tasks so everyday while hooves were a nightmare, or so they were in his case as he backed down to all-fours and trotted to the next section. It was slow. It was backbreaking. And worst of all it was boring, with the only comparison being in the days of youth when Badger, abut failing, to tutor him on intergalactic politics.

He wished for beautifully, articulate hands. He would’ve continued to wish if not for one voice breaking through his downtrodden mood and burst the bubble composed of himself, his Tardis and the task at hand set to him by Kroton. “Uh, Doctor?” called Twilight Sparkle from the console room’s newly integrated library. He turned about and saw her on an oversized couch, a user manual for a Tardis between her forelegs and giving him those eyes he knew were bearing down on him with a very valid question.

“Yes, Spy Light Article?” he answered while concocting a plan to rid himself of that tome before she got any further.

“Twilight Sparkle,” she corrected with a flicker of annoyance before giving him the same questioning gaze. “Why am I here?”

“I needed an assistant and you fitted the bill perfectly,” he answered and smiled at his innate talent for choosing people (or ponies) suited to the life of a time traveller…except for Dodo….and that one guy who nearly screwed up Earth’s history….and Sam.

His answer was to the point yet she still gave him a questioning gaze. "Then why is Derpy here?" she asked, gesturing to the mailmare currently hiding behind one of the many new pillars this console room theme favoured.

"Backup," he answered, “in case things were to get a little complicated.”

Again her gaze questioned him and again she spoke. "Then why are her kids Dinky and Sparkler here?"

"Because,” he began as he followed Twilight’s hoof to Dinky Doo creeping around the pillar and Sparkler chuckling at the sight of mother and daughter playing, “you can’t go gallivanting through time and space separating children from their parents. That’s simply terrible.”

He expected that to be it but Twilight hoof continued to move and stop again, settling on three familiar fillies who were trying in vain to gain their time traveller’s cutie mark. “Then why have the Cutie Mark Crusaders here?”

"Because,” he began, not missing a beat, “three unicorns are better than one. Scootaloo is an anomaly I need to look into. And Apple Bloom....” he stopped and thought momentarily. “Well, it’d be quite unfair of me to bring just the two of them along and leave her all on her lonesome. No one deserves to be left out.”

"Which explains why Big Mac needs to be here?” she questioned, pointing to the red stallion keeping an eye on the Crusaders and chewing his piece of hay.

"Parental supervision for Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Fire Light Sparkle, you can't expect Derpy to look after five kids all on her own while we're out there....saving the world?" he said.

Twilight noticed this lapse in the stallion’s certainty as to his purpose being here but chose to ignore it and focus on pointing to the left of Big Mac where another stallion kept an eye on the Crusaders. "And Caramel is needed here because?”

"I couldn’t split them up at the most crucial point in their relationship. Plus, this can double as a honeymoon, because, you have to know this, I’m totally awesome like that,” he beamed only for Twilight hoof to travel once more to another occupant of the Tardis and his gaze followed.

"Then why bring Caramel's twin sister along?"

"That's actually his quantum counterpart, Toffee,” he corrected. “No idea how that happened but I'll deal with it after all this is over. Pinkie Pie Promise."

Ten seconds of nothing occupied their thoughts. Finally, he thought, turning his attentions back to the console.

"And Doctor?" he quickly spun back to see her questioning gaze give way to confusion.

"Yes," he answered, following her hoof to an old unicorn coated in a robe and wearing a hat decorated with bells.

"Why is Star Swirl the Bearded here?"

“Now,” he began, stroking his chin to which Star Swirl did the same in an unnervingly similar manner, “that I can’t explain.”

"BUT YOU CAN!” Star Swirl shouted and jabbed a hoof in the Doctor’s direction. "For I am your future where you will serve Celestia and Luna in the days of Discord’s reign of terror.”

"Buck me,” The Doctor muttered. “I could’ve sworn I skipped out being anything like Merlin.”

“Indeed, for your future,” his voice boomed and Twilight gapped as he entered into an overly long and drawn out history of his life, naming names and continually shushing the current Doctor, who switched between rolling his eyes and ramming his hooves into his ears in an attempt to block out a massive number of spoilers.

“And that, my old self, is how you will become Time’s Champion again,” Star Swirl/Doctor finished, bringing about a collective sigh of relief from every-pony for he had forced everyone to stay and listen. “Now, Doctor, you must continue on your journey for Kroton after dropping me off for my Tardis was destroyed long ago."

“Wait,” called Twilight, “how did you get here in the first place?”

“A good question I will answer,” he said indicating the Doctor, “in time.”