Secret Admirer

by Hotel_Chicken

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Profanity, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Original Character
Length: 1162

A little filly asks Cadence for an autograph. Simple, right? Then why is she upset?

If there's one thing Cadence prides herself above love magic and matchmaking, it's her hobby of practicing calligraphy.

Now, if only the little filly in front of her actually liked any of it.

Published 2021-07-08 01:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-07-08 01:30:01 UTC

Chapter Only: I'm Your Biggest Fan!

Cadence liked to think she knew enough to be a good princess.

She had acted as Equestria’s ambassador for nearly every nation, formed close friendships with a good number of world leaders, and brokered treaties between races that had a history bathed in hatred and mistrust.

Even if most of the ponies in Equestria didn’t know what she did, let alone that there was another alicorn princess aside from Princess Celestia, and later Princess Luna, she still wore her achievements with pride. Being only fifty years old, Cadence achieved more than any mare twice her age could have ever dreamed of.

Aside from her royal duties, she thought that she knew a great deal outside of politics, like babysitting, cooking, matchmaking (Of which she believed she was an unrivaled champion in) and, her guilty passion, calligraphy.

Thanks to her years babysitting her sister-in-law, she had mastered the art of spelling and penmanship, wielding a quill with the same precision as a sword on a battlefield. Cadence explored the many fonts and styles of writing, using her newfound skill to write beautifully crafted poems and short stories in her free time. Even ponies who had calligraphy cutie marks admired her writing, using it as a reference to study as they practiced their own unique styles.

To put it in a rather simple way, her calligraphy was perfect.

“It’s wrong,” the little shit claimed again, after staring at the second autograph Cadence gave her.

The princess' smile still remained perfectly still, not revealing a hint of her slight bitterness. Was it wrong to get upset at a filly? Maybe. Did that mean she couldn't be upset when somepony insulted her calligraphy?

Buck. No.

“Well, what about this one?” Cadence offered, signing her name in a less bubbly font that focused more on sharp angels that bled into fatter lines.

The curves around the rounded edges of the letters were larger at the bottom than they were at the top, often overshooting the end of the letter to leave a purposeful tail or curve on every piece. Once more, she dotted the I with a heart for Princess, and underlined her name with a single curved line that swooped around the last letter, creating a small heart above the E that lined up with the dotted I. After taking a moment to look over her signature, she handed the notepad back to the unimpressed filly.

She studied the paper for only a moment before giving her repetitive critique.

“It’s wrong again.”

“Well, sweetie, what's wrong with it?” Cadence asked with a well practiced smile. She's an innocent filly, Cadence. Don't get mad at the little tike.

“I want your real autograph!” The little filly whined.

“That is my real autograph,” Cadence lightly argued, before a thought suddenly struck her. “Oh, wait, I see now. Sorry about that, sweetie,” she apologized, plucking the notepad out of the filly's hoof and turning to a clean page.

She couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at her little blunder, shaking her head with a genuine smile as quill kissed paper. Of course, the newspapers and other outlets had used her, “royal” name instead of her more casual moniker. The little filly probably thought Princess Amore Cradenza was her real name, so of course she wouldn't have known her real name.

So, after deciding on a new font, which had more sharp edges and kept any curves to a single fluid stoke, Cadence handed the little notepad back with a smile.

“Well, I hope a good da—”

“It’s still wrong,” the little filly interrupted.

“Alright, fine. How about this one?” She said, signing her name in a messier style. The pen strokes were much darker than her previous autographs, tampering off into a faded edge that gave the impression of a dry quill.

It wasn’t a pretty font by any means, but it was something different. The filly still didn’t like it, and seemed hesitant to share any more information other than, “it’s wrong.”

She tried everything to appease the little filly, using more bubbly words, adding an additional message, removing her title and leaving it as simply Cadence, even signing in broad strokes that filled up the entire page. Every single one of them was somehow “wrong”.

Cadence was tempted to simply walk away and leave the filly alone, but those damnably cute eyes stopped her from just trotting away. Then, when she had told the little mare that she was done giving her autographs, she used those soul tearing eyes to plead in a way only an innocent filly could.

“Please! I just want your real autograph,” the filly whined with a light whimper.

After steeling her nerves, Cadence took the small notebook back and flipped through the many autographs that she had already given her. There was nothing wrong with a single one of them, and she knew damn well how to spell her own name.

Deciding to throw all her fucks to the wind, Cadence allowed the pen to aimlessly wander on the page, making a rollercoaster of mindless doodles that randomly twisted around the small sheet of paper. She handed the booklet back to the filly with a bright smile as she watched her eyes roam the page.

"Here you go, sweetie!"

"It's wrong again," the little brat complained.

“Nope, that’s right. Can’t you see my name there?” Cadence asked, pointing to the random squiggles as she ran a feather across the page. “Of course, it’s a really hard font for you to read. But that’s definitely my name.”

“You mean… This is in a ‘secret language’?” The filly asked in awe.

“Uhhhh, yeah, sure kiddo, it’s a super-secret language that only I can read. But it’s there, alright,” she shamelessly lied.

“Wow! Thanks Queen Chrysalis, you’re the best!” The little filly cheered before she ran off with the messy doodle in tow. “Mommy, mommy, look! Queen Chrysalis gave me her autograph!”

Cadence felt an eye twitch as the quill suddenly snapped in her telekinetic grasp, ink spilling onto the ground as she watched the filly proudly display "Queen Chrysalis'" autograph...

Thirty years... Thirty years of waiting for somepony to ask for her autograph, over a dozen years of practicing different writing styles for the day somepony asked for her autograph, hundreds of practice pages spent on finding her unique signature, and her first autograph was because she was mistaken for Queen Chrysalis...

Letting the broken quill drop to the ground, Cadence trotted away to practice writing a book of foal names. Maybe her filly would want her mother's autograph. Oh, look at me, I'm Princess Cadence's daughter and I have her autograph to prove it. Isn't my mom super cool. She's way cooler than your mom. Hey, why don't I see if I can get her to give you autographs too. Wouldn't that be cool?

Yeah, that'd... That'd totally happen... Somepony would definitely want her autograph someday.