A Thorn finds his Rose

by Name redacted

Rating: mature
Tags: Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Sex, Flower Ponies, Comedy, Profanity, Violence, Slice of Life, Human, Roseluck, Main 6
Length: 3983

Anon gets isekai'd, romance and shenanigans ensue.

Anon's a pretty normal guy, until he's killed, and is whisked away to everyone's favorite pony land. He finds a new life, pony related shenanigans, and a rose that catches his eye. Follow his story, and hope he doesn't get himself killed. Again.

Cover art belongs to RhorseAnon

Disclosure: This is my first story, don't plan for it to be very long, just a nice little story about Anon and Roseluck.

Published 2021-07-12 20:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-07-17 04:40:04 UTC

Just a Normal Tuesday

Author's Note

Hello reader! Welcome to my first story, hope you like it.

If there are any grammar or spelling errors, please let me know in the comments, thanks.

Just a Normal Tuesday

Tuesdays, I hate them. For most people, it's Mondays, but I really hate Tuesdays. I guess I'm just special like that.

It's early as hell, as I drive to my job that's thirty minutes out of town. That's what I get for living in a small redneck town nobody's ever heard of, but the pay makes up for it. Besides, construction's a perfectly fine job, as long as you invest for an early retirement.

I pull off the highway, and slide into the parking lot of a small gas station. Not my favorite for the mornings, but my usual stop is closed today, for some reason. As a man who hates the idea of destiny, or luck, I just shrug it off as another inconvenience to pile onto my loathing for Tuesdays.

I walk into said gas station, and there's not much. Just a couple aisles, a pair of bathrooms at the back of the store, and a corner for making drinks.

"Hello sir!" I hear from my right, noticing the surprisingly chipper girl behind the counter.

"Well, you're awfully happy for rising with the sun. You're not some sort of serial killer, are you?" I ask, mostly joking, but slightly worried as to who could enjoy the torture of early rising.

"Of course not, sir!" The girl replies, "I've just always been an early bird, so the morning doesn't bother me much!" She confidently states, adding a smile for confirmation.

"At least that makes one of us." I say as I walk towards the coffee station, making my nearly religious morning cup o' joe.

As I put the lid on the cup, I hear the door to the gas station slam open, and hear two men enter. I look over my shoulder, then have a double take when I notice the ski masks adorning their heads. As one would expect, they both pull out a pistol each, both aiming at the young cashier, and apparently not noticing my presence.

"This is a robbery! Everything you got, hand it over!" The first man states, while the other adds a "We ain't playin'!" from behind him. Unfortunately for them, they don't notice me sneak behind the second guy. Also unfortunate for them, I always carry.

"I don't think so." I respond for the girl, who looks to be about two seconds away from a mental break. Pulling the hammer back on my pistol, and placing the muzzle into the back of Dumbass #2's head. "Either of you move, we'll have a nice lesson on human anatomy."

Dumbass #1 looks over his shoulder at me, noticing me and my new hostage's position. His eye's widen, then narrow, as he turns his body sideways to better address me. "Well shit for you buddy, you shoot one of us, the girl dies."

"Even if you shoot her, neither of you have a shot on me, and I can promise you that money's not worth it if you're dead. I guess it would take someone with some brain cells to rub together to tell you that though."

Dumbass #1 growls, then begins to pull his gun across his body to get a read on me, proving my made up monicker right. He gets it about halfway to his body before two bullets rip through him before he can even realize what just happened. His body falls like a brick to the ground, while Dumbass #2 nearly falls flat on his face, probably shitting himself. I aim at him as he drops the gun and puts his hands up, making this a lot easier for me.

"Call the police!" I order the still shaking girl who had probably just witnessed a life ended for her first time. She moves towards the back of the store, pulling her phone out, and locking herself in the back of the store.

"Please don't shoot me, sir!" The man in front of me yells, promoting him to Lacking Critical Thinking Man, as he shakes in place.

"Calm down son, just don't give me a-"

BOOM

I'm slammed to the floor, feeling burning pain shooting throughout my body, from what feels like a hundred different points in my body. Blood begins to ooze out of me like a bucket with a hole on the bottom, puddling under me.

"Move dumbass, we gotta bounce!" I barely hear through ringing ears, seeing two silhouettes run like hell. My vision begins to blur, and my body starts to shut down. I barely make out someone suddenly on top of me, shaking me, while talking, but I can't hear them.

It's the girl, I can see the panic and fear in her eyes. I reach up, putting a bloodied hand on her cheek, while struggling to get out what's likely my last words.

"It...It wasn't your fault."

Then, I feel too tired to go on, my eyes close. I go limp, and feel cold, so fucking cold.

A New Beginning(or something like that)

Holy shit it's bright.

I sit up, rubbing my eyes and looking around, confused as to where in the hell I am. Apparently, I'm in the middle of a field of flowers, with a beautiful clear sky above me, and the slight sound of wind moving the grass back and forth. It would be a great sight for relaxing in, or frolicking like a five year old, but I was too busy freaking the fuck out.

'How in the hell am I alive? I took a shotgun straight to the body, at least that's what it felt like, and now I'm in some field in the middle of nowhere.', I stand up, noticing a river a ways off to my left, a forest to my back, and a path coming from said forest, to my right. Both river and path extend past the hills in the distance, but likely lead to some sort of civilization, so I head towards the path.

Funnily enough, I can only see small horse tracks, and nothing else. "Holy shit, did I go to Amish heaven?" I ask out loud, looking towards the rolling hills beyond. "Guess there's only one way to find out."

I begin walking the well trod (pun intended) path, really hoping I'm not in some crazy pre-death dream. 'I should probably check what I have on me', clearing my pockets, I find my phone, wallet, keys, pocket knife, and surprisingly, my gun in it's holster.

'If this is a dream, this isn't a promising sign.' I think to myself, continuing to walk along as I put my pistol back in it's place. I notice something off in the distance, and have to squint to get a good look. I can see what looks like houses made of straw, and a huge crystal...thing. I'm certainly nowhere near home, and my suspicion I'm in some form of the afterlife grows the closer I get to this town.

Once close enough to the town, I see small colorful....things milling about the place. I once again squint, trying to figure out what I'm walking into, when I finally get a good look at a group of them.

'What the hell? Are those ponies?' Sure enough, they are. Straight from a fucking cartoon, or an eight year old girls imagination. 'Welp, no turning back now. Hopefully, I don't get murked by a bunch of pretty pink unicorns.'

I walk closer to the town, before finally crossing over a small bridge, and coming into the town proper. Taking in the site around me, I see a multitude of ponies, ranging in color, and most around waist high. Somehow, none of them had noticed me, until one of them, with pink fur and yellow hair, finally noticed the elephant in the room, or the human in pony land.

"MONSTER! EVERYPONY RUN!"

'They fucking talk, of course they talk', I thought, as any ponies that were once there were now gone. Although, they did leave dust clouds in their wake. 'Damn, I really am in a cartoon.' I walk further into town, ending up in the middle of what I can only assume is a market. In the rush to find shelter, they'd left behind all of their goods. As a red blooded American, that really didn't sit right with me, making me wonder what would happen if an actual monster showed up here.

"hmrm"

I spin around, after hearing what I could only guess was the whimpering of a dog, but notice a patch of deep purple hair, and a point of a lighter shade of purple. 'You know, I was joking about the unicorn part' I thought, as I approached the stall.

"Hey, I'm real sorry for scaring everybody, I was just trying to figure out where I am. You see, I'm not exactly from around here, I woke up in the middle of a field about twenty minutes out of town. Can you tell me where I am?" I explain, hoping to appeal to the ponies...humanity? Not sure what the pony equivalent is. Anyway, the pony pokes their head out a bit, enough to peer over the counter, allowing me to see their purple eyes and long eyelashes. 'Guess it's a girl.'

"How do I know you're not tricking me?" She responds, her voice trembling, clearly terrified of me.

'I know people don't exactly find me to be the most approachable guy, but geez, way to make a guy feel welcome.' I think to myself. "If I was a monster, why would I try to trick you, when I already know where you are?"

"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense." She states, standing up with only a little apprehension in her movement. "This is Ponyville, we're south of Canterlot mountain. Now, if you're not a monster, what are you?"

"My name's Anon, but I'm a human. Where I come from, there's only more of my species, so seeing a talking pony is pretty strange." I answer, moving closer to the stall, which apparently doesn't sit well, with my new 'friend'.

"Don't come any closer! I don't trust you, and I know defensive magic!" She yells, as her horn begins to glow a deep purple to match her fur.

"Ok, I'll just stay right here." I reply calmly, standing still for the little pony that may be able to kill me. " Can I at least know the name of the pretty, purple pony about to blast me into a small scorch mark on the earth?"

She blushes a bit, likely flustered from my possible compliment, and her horn stops glowing. She takes a moment to look me up and down, then answers me. "I'm Amethyst Star, and it's a little weird to get compliments from a strange creature I've never heard of before. What did you say you are? A hooman?"

"Human, and I can kind of sympathize, never been called a monster before." I respond, noticing her ears flatten at my last statement, "Though I can understand why you would be wary of me, you've likely never seen anything like me."

"Well, if it's any consolation, you don't seem too bad to-"

In the middle of her sentence, I notice a fast shadow in the corner of my eye, and hit the deck, hearing a strong gust of wind rush by my head, followed by the sound of something hitting the ground pretty hard.

"Get away from her you monster!" I hear in a raspy, high-pitched voice. Getting back to my feet, I take in my would-be attacker, a blue pegasus with rainbow colored hair.

"What the hell! You almost murdered me skittles!" I yell at the small fiend who almost gave me a concussion to end all concussions.

"Hey, I don't even know what a skittle is, rude!" She yells back, flapping her wings, likely preparing to fly by again.

"What in tarnation' is goin' on 'round here?" I here in a southern drawl. Looking to my left, I see a bright orange pony with blonde hair and a worn Stetson. This pony has no wings, nor a horn, but given her whole country aesthetic, she's probably strong as fuck according to cartoon logic.

"What's going on, is blue blur right there almost knocked my head off like a golf ball!" I respond, gaining an even angrier glare from Skittles, and a confused look from Southern Comfort.

"Because you're a giant monster, who was probably about to eat that poor mare right there!"

"Actually, he was just complaining that he wasn't a monster, and that he doesn't know where he is." Amethyst responded, coming to my rescue. This caused Taste the Rainbow's ears to flatten against her head, and Country Sass to shoot a glare at her.

"So you just flew in, without thinkin', and almost hurt that poor fella'!?"

"Well, I mean, I thought she was in trouble!"

"Rainbow, this right here is exactly why you can't get a date."

"Oh, wow Applejack, real mature. Is that brutal honesty why you can't get laid!?"

"I'll make you eat them words, you short-sighted feather brain!"

The two ran at each other, and began to fight, mainly trying to pin the other to the dirt. I suddenly felt a little awkward, as I had indirectly caused this fight. I moved to seperate the two combatants, but felt a hoof on my arm. Looking back, I saw Amethyst, who had emerged from the stall, and wanted to stop me from intervening.

"I wouldn't get between them, once they get going, there's no stopping them, until they tire each other out." She informed me, "Do you see that big crystal castle over there? Go and ask for Princess Twilight, she can help you."

"Thanks Amethyst. I owe you one."

"No problem, just let her know about Rainbow Dash and Applejack, she might be able to stop them from fighting all day."

"Will do, and try to spread the word I won't eat anybody."

Amethyst gave me a nod, walking away in the opposite direction of the castle. I turned towards my target, and began to make my way to my new destination.

'Welp, let's hope the royalty isn't as aggresive as Little miss Need for Speed.'

Moving Pains

'Who the hell thought a giant crystal would make for a practical castle?'

This is the only thing I can think while partially covering my eyes to approach the giant castle, wondering whether it was meant to be crystal, or if a 12 year old with a bedazzle gun, had suddenly grown grand ambitions.

I reach the door to the castle, which was intricately made, while still maintaining a simple look, with a heart-shaped door knob. I beat on the door, which just barely reaches above my head, raising another concern for everyday life if I'm stuck here for the rest of eternity.

The door opens, revealing a small lizard-like creature, slightly shorter than the ponies I have encountered already. The creature also has the same color scheme as Barney the Dinosaur, which does nothing but further my belief I've been sucked into the fever dream of a small child. The creature looks up mid sip of what I can only fathom as a cup of coffee, or whatever this fairytale land's equivalent is.

Then, I'm acquainted with the door, as it's violently slammed into my forehead, knocking me back a couple steps, while favoring the middle of my head.

"Grr, what the fuck?" Is the most polite response I can think of, but given Barney had retreated back into the castle, I'm just talking to myself.

Suddenly, I hear a shrill voice call from the depths of castle, "WHAT!?" followed by frantic sounds of a galloping hor- pony. The doors swing wide open, displaying a pony slightly taller than the others, sporting purple fur, and a deeper purple mane with a pink and purple stripe. She also possesses both wings and a horn, which is certainly a new development for me.

The pony is shocked, likely surprised to see such a stunning man on her doorstep. Before I can speak, The purple pony gets over her shock, and finally says something to me.

"Who are you?"

Of all the questions, I wasn't really expecting that specific question, but whatever, as long as I don't get put in a dungeon, or put down, I'm fine with anything.

"My name's Anon, I'm a human, and if Miss Amethyst is to be believed, you're the princess I'm supposed to talk to." I answer, hoping to get the most information out there to clear some confusion. Being facetious won't get me very far.

"How did you get here? Where are you from?" The pony asks, getting slightly more frantic.

"I don't know how I got here, and I'm from America, on Earth."

"America? I'm afraid I haven't heard of it before. So, you didn't go through any portal to get to Equestria?"

"Nope, I blacked out, woke up in a field that way, next to a forest." I answer, pointing towards my point of origin.

"Come inside, you sound like you've had a long day." The pony tells me, turning to return to her castle, as I follow suit.

Granted, I have had a long day, between getting shot (which I'm not going to tell some random people) and waking up in a strange place, there's only a few other days I could say are worse than today.

As I follow the purple pony inside her castle, I steal a look around the inside, noticing the crystal walls, reaching far into the air to meet the ceiling. Opulent would probably be the best word to describe it, too vain for my taste, but then again, I've never even seen a quarter of the amount of money it must've cost to make such a behemoth. I return my gaze forward, noticing a large round-table with six, no, seven chairs around it, with one much smaller chair next to one sporting a symbol of a star. Atop the table, lie an intricate 3-d map, of what I can only guess is, "Equestria" with the middle of the map, showing the crystal castle I now stand in.

I then realized all the chairs have a symbol, butterflies, balloons, apples, diamonds, a rainbow thunderbolt, and the star I first saw. The purple pony takes a seat in the star chair, with the lizard sitting next to her in the smaller chair. Naturally, I take the chair to her left, this being the apple chair. I suppose it's fitting, as I've always liked apples.

"So, you've brought me into your lair, and sat me at your war map. You're not going to tell me there's a big quest I must go on to, "find my place in the world" is there?" I ask, with heavy air quotes. Hopefully, the people here know what sarcasm is.

The purple pony rolls her eyes, dispelling any thought my comment would offend her. "Firstly, it's not a lair, or a war map. This is the Castle of FriendshipTM, and this is the cutie map, it calls to the Elements of HarmonyAlso TM'ed when there's a friendship problem that requires our assistance. Secondly, that's way too cliche for my taste. I am the princess of friendship, Twilight Sparkle, but you may call me Twilight. It's nice to meet you, Mr. Anon."

I let out of breath I didn't realize I was holding, relieved I was finally being welcomed to this place. "Thank you, it's nice to meet you too. Now, based on your reaction to my arrival, you've seen humans before. Am I correct?"

"Yes, though not like you. Somewhere in this castle, I won't say where, is a mirror portal. Through that mirror is a world where everyone is a human, but they're all alternate versions of the people from this world. There's no place there called America, or Earth." She informs me, taking away the hope I had that there may be a way back.

"So, that's it?" I ask, "Am I just stuck here forever? There's no way back to my home?"

"Not as far as I know, but I can see what I can do. Maybe search for magical signatures where you woke up, but I can't guarantee anything. Can you show me on the cutie map where you woke up?"

"Yeah." I answer, taking a look on the map. I follow the edge of the forest, finding the point where the road leads into it, and the river flows out of it. "Right there, in between the dirt path and the river. Would you like me to come with you?"

"No, you've been through enough. If anything, what you really need is to rest, I'm sure you're exhausted."

She was right, my little dirt nap after being brought here had done nothing for me, and I would say getting shot and transported to another planet tends to wear you out.

"You're right, I could use some rest."

"Alright. Spike, can you get him situated here, while I go check this out?" She says, addressing the small lizard, usefully telling me his name.

"No problem Twilight, just be careful, you know how these magical mishaps usually turn out."

"I will, thanks Spike. Rest up Anon, I can tell you how it went tomorrow." Twilight says, making her way to the door, while magicking a saddle bag onto her back.

"Alright, and thanks for letting me stay here, and going to check this out. I really hope you can find a way home for me, but if you can't, I understand."

"Don't worry Anon, I wouldn't be much of a princess if I didn't take care of all creatures that come knocking on my door." She finishes, leaving the castle, I turn to Spike.

"So, Spike's the name, right? Will you show me the way?"

"Yep, just follow me." He answers, marching out of the room, and down a hall towards a large staircase. I follow him upstairs, then past a few doors to one specific room. Spike opens the door, revealing a guest room, equipped with a large king size bed, large vanity, dresser, nightstand, desk with chair, a small French door, likely holding a closet, and a door at the back of the room on the other side of the bed.

"Here we are, everything in here is now yours to use as you see fit, within reason. Oh, and the door back there is the guest bath, have a good night." Spike tells me, turning and leaving the room, gently closing the door behind him.

'Well, I could definitely use a shower.'

~~~Later that night~~~

I lay in bed, fairly comfortable, but unable to rest. I just can't take my mind off of the madness that has befallen me. It was just a normal day, and then some robbers decided to steal from the store I was at. A store I only went to, because my usual store was closed. Was this just chance? A cruel twist life had decided to toss in? Was this really fate, or was this someone's doing? A plot against me, to bring me to this land? Was this fate? Was this organized? I don't know.

Eventually, I'm able to reluctantly slip into sleep. I don't dream, but I see... something. What is it? It's... eyes. Deep, bright red eyes. Piercing, full of malice and evil. Pure and unadulterated hate. Eyes the likes of which I had only seen in one other person in my entire life, but these belonged to someone with intention, ambition, and power.

Whoever's eyes they were, they shook me to my core.