Jack's Journal

3/6
What a bed! The beds in the Castle are huge and soft. Twilight and I were wrapped around each other and sunk into the center of one and I just don’t see any way to improve on this. Unfortunately, I could see the sun through the window so Celestia is eating or about to eat breakfast and we promised to be there.

“Wake up, Twilight. Time to go,” I whispered as I rubbed her cheek and ear.

Twilight stretched and smiled, “Do we have to?”

I pointed out, “The sun is up so Celestia is waiting for us. You get my clothes out and I’ll get the shower started.”

I made it all the way into the shower before I realized that I hadn’t taken any clothes off and that was because I wasn’t wearing any. I’d made it a point to wear at least underwear around Twilight to conceal any embarrassing involuntary reactions but this morning I was no longer concerned. Something had changed in my relationship with Twilight. I was completely comfortable around her. The mental background of ‘be careful of this’, ‘avoid that’ was gone. I knew with certainty that I couldn’t offend her, that I was welcomed exactly as I am without reservation.

I was broken out of my introspection by Twilight’s voice, “So the water is that good?”

“I haven’t even noticed the water. Something else is going on.” I elaborated, “As of some time last night my insecurities and inhibitions are gone. There’s always been this worry in the back of my mind that I would make a mistake and hurt or offend you. Cadance and I even talked about it yesterday. Today I am as secure in the certainty that you will forgive me as I am certain that I will always forgive you.”

“What did you expect, Darling?” Twilight grinned slyly, “You just overmastered the head of the Bachelor Herd and prime competitor for my hoof and you did it in front of the Princesses and all of Canterlot. You were willing to fight to the death for me and won. You have proven yourself a worthy stallion and been accepted by my family. The Bond is forming.”

I could hear the capital letters so I was concerned. “The Bond?” After all, it was messing with my mind.

“Yes, Jack. The Bond is the whole purpose of dating. We will grow closer and share more of each other's lives so that by the time spring comes around we will know how well we fit together. If we are happy with each other, we can complete the Bond and begin founding our own herd.”

I can’t say I was expecting that but neither can I say that I’m unhappy with it. Mostly, it sounds like Pony love to me.

I nodded, “Okay, now let’s get going and see if we can get there before Celestia is done.”

Interestingly, our shower went quicker and easier because I was no longer working around certain parts. The purple Pony parts seemed as much mine as the tan Human parts. It’s hard to put into words but actions that would have drawn a blush or better from me yesterday had lost their significance. At the same time Twilight was more desirable than ever, just not that way. Am I becoming equine? Again, I can’t help but remember that ‘ways of Equestria’ speech.

We dressed quickly, Twilight in her basic regalia and I in my casual shirt and slacks. I was reaching for the door when a knock sounded so I opened it to a startled Page.

“Her Majesty Princess Celestia requests the pleasure of your company with Her breakfast this morning and has sent me to guide you.”

I asked Twilight, “Are we packed?” and when she nodded, I waved her out the door and closed it behind us. In less than a minute, the Page opened an unmarked door and we found Celestia and Luna seated at a large table inside.

“Have a seat,” Celestia gestured at a row of pads across the table from her and Luna. “Princess Cadance and Prince Shining will be here any minute.”

I took the seat farthest from the door with Twilight next to me. Seating myself after a short bow, I inquired, “I hope you’re having a fine morning, Your Majesties.”

Celestia snarked, “I’m not sure, Jack. We’ll find out when the papers get here.”

Cadance and Shining had walked in halfway through that exchange. Cadance gave Celestia a ‘what’s that’ look and Celestia returned a ‘who, me?’ grin. As soon as they were seated a procession bearing platters of breakfasty dishes emerged from a door in the side wall. I picked scrambled eggs and pancakes. Placing a pancake just so, I buttered it thoroughly and spread a layer of scrambled eggs on top of it. After crumbling some cheese on the eggs, I placed another pancake squarely above the first and applied syrup.

I was deep into the joy of the first bite when I looked up to find Celestia staring at me. “Jack,” she said, “Every time I think I understand you, you take something completely ordinary and add your own unique twist to it. Thank you. That is a gift to a mare as old and jaded as I.”

I nodded acknowledgement and kept on eating. We were all nearly done when the Page returned with three folded newspapers. Luna intercepted them and sent one to Celestia, one to Cadance, and kept one.

Celestia’s said ‘Equestria Today’ on the front of it and she paged through it rapidly until, “Here we go. In Political News, ‘Last night a major power shift took place at the Grand Galloping Gala. Princess Twilight Sparkle brought the same strange stallion as her date for the Gala as she has been seen shopping and dining with in Canterlot. Prince Blueblood, long considered the favorite for the Title of Prince Consort, arrived and challenged the interloper on sight. A Deathmatch with crossbows was quickly arranged and presided over by Princess Celestia Herself. As the stranger was poised to administer the Coup de gras Prince Blueblood shouted ‘get it over with!’ while standing proudly. The stranger was so impressed with Prince Blueblood’s courage and honor that he fired his bolt into the dirt and offered reconciliation. Prince Blueblood graciously accepted the stranger’s apology and left the Gala to consider his options’.”

While Celestia was reading, Luna’s snorts and chuckles had escalated into full blown guffaws. Celestia smiled sweetly and said, “Sister, if it’s that good, please share it with the rest of us.”

Luna replied, “It must be seen.” and passed the paper to Celestia. She looked at it, laughed, calmed herself and scanned down the page, then passed the paper to me. I turned it so the front page faced me and held it up over the center of the table for Twilight to read too. The banner read ‘Equestrian Enquirer’ and the headline under it ‘Mystery Stallion Shames Bachelor Herd’. Half of the page was taken up with an obviously aerial view of me facing Blueblood on the Field of Honor. I had a spear sticking out of my arm and was aiming a huge crossbow at Blueblood while a large group of Ponies behind him scattered for the winds.

The text below the picture read, ‘The Mystery Stallion seen in this photo has been keeping company with Princess Twilight in recent weeks. When the Princess’s putative fiance, Prince Blueblood, confronted him at the GGG a Challenge was issued. They squared off with crossbows and the Prince scored first. The Mystery Stallion seemed quite unconcerned and didn’t even bleed noticeably as he prepared to finish the Prince off. At the last second he took pity on the Prince and offered him mercy. The Prince seemed stunned as they met in front of Princess Celestia and made their apologies. The Prince left, followed by most of the Canterlot Bachelor Herd, possibly to lick his wounds and try to recover from losing both his fiance and leadership of the Bachelor Herd in the same event.’

Being thoroughly confused, I looked at Celestia and asked, “How many alternate realities are you in contact with, Your Majesty?”

Both Celestia and Luna exploded in laughter. Looking at Twilight, I asked, “What did I say?”

Through giggles, Twilight explained, “You’ve never seen this alleged news source because I won’t allow it in the library. I won’t let it in because they deliver ‘enhanced news’,” making air quotes with her wings. “They say they ‘enhance’ their sources, particularly photos, to make it easier for their reduced attention span audience to understand complex issues.”

“I understand now, I just thought Equestria was free of that particular infestation. How many space alien babies have you had,” I asked.

“three,” Twilight replied, turning a rare shade of maroon. Celestia rolled off her pad laughing.

“I couldn’t hear you, Darling,” I said.

Through gritted teeth, she said, “Three and how did you know about that if you didn’t know what this rag is?”

Calmly, I replied, “The infestation isn’t limited to Equestria. Space alien babies are their favorite attention getter for slow news days on Earth.”

Shining grinned at me, “Jack, you are one brave stallion. She’s my sister and I wouldn’t tease her like that.”

I smiled back, “It’s not her I’m thinking of teasing. Just imagine, I could let them interview a real live interdimensional alien, tell them about human things like trains on ships and horseless carriages.”

That brought Celestia up off the floor, “NO! They’ll get no support or aid while I’m Princess.”

Cadance spoke up, “How about an alternative? In the Canterlot Daily Chronicle we have a good picture of Jack standing next to Twilight at the door. The caption says, ‘Do you know this stallion? This stranger of an unfamiliar race has been seen lately in the company of Princess Twilight Sparkle. All who have interacted with him have said that he is unfailingly calm and polite even in the face of provocation. In fact, he has made a number of friends in Canterlot. Yet when Prince Blueblood challenged him, Princess Celestia described him as possibly more dangerous than an angry Griffon. The outcome of the Challenge seemed to confirm Princess Celestia’s assessment. So we want to know: Who is he? Where did he come from? What is his legal status? History? Lineage? Education? Future plans? If you know the answers to any of these questions please contact us at The Canterlot Daily Chronicle so that we can share those answers with everypony’.”

“Hey, I like those guys,” I exclaimed. “They admit they don’t know instead of making shit up. This gives me ideas.”

Twilight looked at me with worry in her eyes, “Jaacckk, what are you thinking?”

With a big smile, “I’m thinking that we need to control the narrative and sooner is better. The question is how? A straight up interview is risky but doing nothing just lets your ‘favorite’ rag take a running start.”

Twilight is glaring at me now, “Jack, don’t play with me. I know what that silly smile means.”

Celestia said, “Yes, Jack, what do you have on your mind?”

I reasoned, “The problem with any live interview is that once the information leaves my mouth, it’s out there forever and there are things that I don’t know about Equestria that could slip up on me. Twilight and I are already making reports so why don’t we do a condensed version and send it to them in writing? We have a list of questions already in hand.”

Luna was nodding like a bobble head and Celestia was looking quite pleased but Shining had a question, “Couldn’t we just copy those reports to them and let them do the rest of the work?”

“NO!!!” Twilight and I blared in perfect synchronization. We looked at each other and she nodded so I picked up the thread, “First, it’s anypony’s guess what they will consider useful out of a novel sized document. Second, there is some serious soul searching in there between me and your sister, things that we don’t mind saying around family and select friends but do not want published. Third, I surely don’t want to publish all of my weaknesses for any assassin hired now that challenging me is mostly off the table.

“We don’t want to give them too much anyway. Simple answers for simple questions will suffice for their first dose. We can ration out information to keep them interested and hold a reserve for any time that we need to overshadow another source. I also want to pass this letter around and get all of your opinions on it to keep it as safe and effective as possible. That would take too much time for more than a single page.

“Twilight and I could bang out a strong draft to pass around at lunch today for correction. After lunch I could make a pretty version and deliver it in person by mid afternoon. That would verify the source and let me establish a relationship with the paper for future use. We'll see the results with breakfast tomorrow.”

Everypony liked that idea so Twilight and I went back to the same room and went to work. That really meant that I dictated and Twilight wrote because my penmanship with quill and ink tended to waste a lot of paper and time.

I opened the newspaper and began our list, “Who is he? I am Jack.”

“Where did he come from? I came from another universe called Earth. I was dreaming one night and suddenly the dream was real.”

“What is my legal status? I have asked for and been granted citizenship by Princess Celestia conditional that I learn how to be a proper Pony.”

“What is my history? Well, up until that certain night, I was a normal man (adult male Human) with friends, family, and a farm. I wasn’t rich enough to be exceptional but I was comfortable and made extra money as a writer/consultant.”

“Lineage? Damned if I know. This is not the same body I had on Earth but it seems identical so anything is possible.”

“Education? I have degrees in Engineering and Agriculture. I am an expert on technology, which fulfills much the same function on Earth that magic does in Equestria.”

“My future plans? I want to have a family and friends and live happily ever after with the mare I love. And that’s all unless you want to add something.”

Twilight looked at the list carefully, “Somepony is going to ask how you know that it’s a different body if it’s identical.”

I thought for a few seconds, and, “Change that to ‘Damned if I know. This body is noticeably younger than I was on Earth but it seems identical otherwise so anything is possible.”

Twilight nodded, “I like that better. Now we need to make it clearer that Earth doesn’t have magic.”

That one needed more thought, finally, “How about, ‘I have degrees in Engineering and Agriculture and I am an expert on technology. Earth has no magic at all but technology serves all the same functions.’.”

“I think that will work. What do you want to do about a cover letter or agreement?” Twilight asked.

I put on my favorite sly gin, “That’s why I’m going in person. If I’m going to make a deal with a media outlet, even if the deal is ‘I’ll be a source as long as you are honest’, I don’t want any written evidence. This way we’ll have deniability for everypony if anything goes wrong. Go ahead and make three copies with room for editing then you can come over here and get your reward.”

I laid my clothes out on the chair and climbed up to the middle of the bed. A couple of big pillows let me comfortably maintain a sitting position as I waited for Twilight. She left her regalia on the dresser and climbed across the bed.

“Stretch out right here against my leg,” I instructed. “Good, now give me a wing.”

We both had to move several times to make all of both wings accessible but that was alright. I gave every inch of both wings a slow, sensuous preening and a gentle massage up and down the leading edge. When we finished preening Twilight pushed me over and started rubbing all over me like a giant cat. The feeling of soft warm fur on my body was wonderful and I started rubbing back. We were both giggling and bouncing around as we made a game of who could find a new place to rub on the other. Twilight’s scent was intoxicating and I was literally happier than I have ever been.

But the clock marched on and lunch time was fast approaching. Twilight was having trouble getting her regalia properly positioned because she couldn’t stop giggling.

As I helped her get the final piece in place, “What’s so funny?”

Still giggling, Twilight replied, “I’m just thinking of Shining’s reaction when you walk by him. He’s going to roll his eyes and make some snide remark about ‘what have you two been up to’.”

“So,” I remarked, “It’s in the Big Brother job description.”

I ended up carrying the drafts to the dining room because she kept losing concentration to a fit of giggles. When we walked in the door everypony else was already there in the same seats as breakfast. I was careful to walk close behind Cadance and Shining well ahead of Twilight. Cadance started giggling in time with Twilight and Shining turned to face me.

Rolling his eyes, “Did you two find some time to make that list?”

I dropped the three copies of the draft on the table in front of him and explained, “I felt guilty about drafting a Princess to be my scribe so I rewarded her after we were done. I gave her a long, tender preening to make up for the one we skipped this morning and afterwards we had a near wrestling match trying to out-cuddle each other. “

Shining looked shocked, “That’s right. The only other individual that could help her preen is Spike.”

I was looking at Cadance over his back and seeing pleading in her eyes so I had to ask, “Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that you don’t preen Cadance?”

Now Shining is confused, “Of course not, we have staff for that.”

My turn to be shocked, “Shining, I love you like a brother but dammit, you are a FOOL. Twilight, come over here and speak to your brother.” She skipped over and leaned against my thigh. “Look at her, not your baby sister but the young mare she’s become. Look at the glow, the smile, this is a happy mare.” And she did look good. “This is what a good preening does. And you should do it because it’s in your job description as a stallion. Tell him Twilight.”

Twilight smiled shyly at him, “I don’t know what I’m going to do if sex is anywhere near as much fun as preening, probably lock the bedroom door and never come out again.”

“Look, Shining,” I offered, “I can instruct you if you’d like. . . . Shining?”

Shining was just sitting there with his mouth and eyes frozen open. I snapped my fingers right in front of his nose, nothing. I clapped my hands next to his ear, nothing.

“Cadance, Twilight, I’m going to need your help,” I advised. We rolled Shining onto his side and slid the pad away from the table.

“Cadance, guard his legs. He’s going to thrash around and I don’t want him to kick anything, especially not me. Twilight, control his head and horn. Don’t let him hit the table or me,” I instructed.

Squatting behind him, I reached across and felt for the little divot at the bottom of his ribs. Finding it, I made a fist and rubbed vigorously up and down. On the third stroke he came straight up off the pad and landed on his feet panting and looking frantically around. Cadance moved up and wrapped her wings around him.

“What did you do to me!!” Shining shouted.

I had already moved to stand next to Twilight so I faced him and explained, “You were in shock so I brought you out by the only method that I am certain is safe for Equines. It’s a little abrupt but does no harm at all.

“Do you remember what Twilight said?”

Shining looked confused for about ten seconds, then, “OH! Yeah, that kind of slipped up on me, my super naive, super bashful baby sister is bragging about what she does with her stallion in the bedroom. She’s no longer the Twilight I knew when we left for the Crystal Empire but she seems much happier. I wasn’t expecting that at all.”

I smiled at him, “Don’t worry, she’ll change again tomorrow. We’re both doing a lot of learning right now. So, anyway, do you want instruction in the fine art of preening? We can even get Twilight to help.”

Twilight stepped on my foot to get my attention and when I leaned down, she whispered, “You’re not preening any mare without me there. Believe that!”

Cadance was whispering to Shining too. He looked back toward us and said, “Thanks for the offer but I already have an instructor.”

I was helping Twilight push our seats together when Celestia spoke softly, “You know, Jack, I might be interested in some of those instructions. . . .”

Before Celestia had finished her sentence, I felt a weight on my back and a crackle of energy surrounding me. Twilight had her front legs hooked over my shoulders and her hind legs wrapped around my waist. Over my head, she growled at Celestia , “My stallion! Mine!”

Forcing myself to stay relaxed, “Celestia, I’d really appreciate it if you’d lay off teasing Twilight for a little while. We’re going through some changes right now and some subjects are a little sensitive.”

Celestia nodded ever so slightly and, “I wasn’t teasing Twilight, I was trying to tease you. Twilight knows that I would never steal anything from her, much less a stallion so obviously infatuated with her that he would never go.”

The feel of an imminent lightning strike faded and Twilight began to relax. I squatted so she could slide down off my back without falling to the floor then we took our seats at the table.

Celestia looked up and down the table, “Now, if we’re done with today’s episode of Neighton Place, let’s eat.”

First, I received a mug of tea, I mean a full sized mug not a dainty little cup. Then a plate with half sliced oven fresh bread and half sliced cheese set before me. Finally, heaven, a plate of perfectly cooked hamburger patties arrived. A selection of veggies and condiments followed but my focus was captured.

I built a Perfect Burger© and looked up to find Celestia studying me. “Do I have you to thank for this?” I asked. She nodded and I continued, “Thank you. I don’t need it as often as I want it but the cravings can be powerful.”

Celestia gave me one of her famous sneaky grins and said, “Honestly, I wanted to see what everypony was talking about. You would be amazed how many Ponies felt compelled to tell me that you were positively blissful eating nasty Griffon food. It may have added to your ‘more dangerous than a Griffon’ mystique.

“We keep a small supply of ‘Griffon foods’ in stock here. You can order them any time you are here,” Celestia added.

“Really? How about fish?” I inquired. “On Spitfire’s advice I’m trying to get Twilight to try fish. I think smoked salmon would do it if I could find some.

“OW!” after a sharp poke in the ribs by Twilight.

Celestia laughed, “I’m on your side, Jack. But Twilight will probably wait until she starts molting to give in.”

“OW! What’s that for? She said it, not me,” I exclaimed.

We did, finally, manage to eat lunch. Then Cadance passed the drafts around and opinions were called for.

Cadance voted, “It may be a little short but it’s safe and attention getting.”

Luna agreed, “We concur. Be certain that she will ask questions.”

Celestia completed the circle, “Yes, I like it as far as it goes. Are you prepared to explain it?”

“I intend to not only explain but to lay out some rules for a continuing relationship. Those will start with only written answers may be quoted. Everything else is background. Good behavior will be rewarded with written interviews and bad behavior will be punished,” I elaborated.

Celestia nodded, “It’s a good plan, Jack. You have my blessing to implement it as you see fit. Just know that you will be graded on the skill and effectiveness of that implementation. Right now, walk with me for a few minutes.”

Celestia rose and led me through a door on the opposite side of the room from the kitchen. “Make yourself comfortable,” she offered as I looked around a nicely furnished sitting room.

I stretched out on one of two facing sofas, saying, “I want to spend the night here and that means that I need to be sure Spike gets a message.”

Celestia smiled at me and said, “That takes care of the first thing I wanted to talk about. Luna is arranging it with Twilight as we speak. Is there more?”

“I’ll need a guide to the newspaper office. I really don’t want to take her into a crowd right now,” I added.

Celestia nodded, “Her security squad is here and not needed as long as she remains in the Castle. I’ll detail one of them. Next?”

I took a deep breath and asked, “How long is this going to last and just what is it? We both woke up this morning with a new relationship, she called it ‘the Bond’. I feel like some of my human feelings have been swapped out for Pony equivalents but I’m more in control, not less.”

Celestia asked thoughtfully, “How do you feel about losing part of your human nature?”

“I was startled at first but after some thought I decided that if I’m going to live my life among Ponies, thinking like one isn’t a bad thing,” I explained.

“I’m surprised at you, Jack,” Celestia confessed. “I would have expected more concern over anything that altered your mind.”

“No, I still have all the same options,” I replied, “it just made my life easier and potentially better. But I want to know what happened to Twilight. Did she get a dose of Human emotions?”

Celestia chuckled, “No, it was completely predictable and she should have warned you about it. A particularly desirable stallion can pull a mare into a pseudo heat and after last night you are an extremely desirable stallion. By now Luna will have given her a potion that will blunt your effect on her and by tonight she will be back to the Twilight you are used to. But, Jack, be careful about teasing her like you did this morning. If she makes it to full heat, it’s going to be very rough on you. Ask Shining, he can tell you.

“You might also want to think about skipping this spring. You need more time to adjust to Pony ways and Twilight needs more time to adjust to being Alicorn. What you saw today was a very small sample of what heat is like for an Alicorn. She needs to learn more control before she has her first stallion experience with a mortal.”

Soberly, I remarked, “You’ve given me a lot to think on. Right now I think I need to get going to the newspaper office. I want to be sure to make tomorrow’s edition.”

I still don’t know how she does it but seconds later the door we came in through opened and a Unicorn in Royal Guard armor walked in.

Celestia introduced him, “Jack, this is Sharp Blade. He’s the leader of the Ponyville Guard contingent and will be your guide today.”

“Pleased to meet you, sir.” as he snapped off a sharp salute. When I returned salute, he grinned.

I nodded to him, “I’m way past retirement now but the habits never die. We need to pick up a copy of the letter and head out. We can talk on the way.”

He produced a copy of the letter from that mysterious place that all Unicorns seem to have where things just follow them around. Leading me through a different door and eventually out the main gate, we ventured into the center of Canterlot. A very interesting conversation followed.

“Yes, sir. Many of us suspected but after the events at the Gala, we knew. It will be good to have another Prince with military experience in Canterlot. Things haven’t been quite right since the Captain went north,” the Lieutenant confided in me.

That was worth a chuckle, “Just out of curiosity, what gave me away?”

“It was your calm confidence, sir. You made a plan that included the potential for death and carried it out without a hint of indecision or nervousness. That speaks of a stallion with experience and training,” he explained.

And that gave me an idea, “Would it change your opinion of me if I told you that most of that plan turned out to be blind luck?”

Looking startled, he asked a lot with one word, “Sir?”

So I laid it out, “The thing I was most impressed with in that encounter was my complete ignorance of Pony techniques and skills. I made several assumptions that could have gotten me killed if Blueblood had taken advantage of them. What saved me was that he was just as ignorant of Human strengths and weaknesses. I need to learn. I need to understand how Ponies and others fight. I need proficiency with the weapons available in Equestria. I need somepony to teach me.”

He lit up like a fireworks show, “Yes SIR! Like I said, a professional. When we are back in Ponyville I will get you a copy of our training schedule and you can ‘sit in’ as an ‘observer’. I’ll be just as interested in how Humans fight so I’ll know what to expect if we ever have to fight alongside each other.”

The rest of the conversation was some technical comparisons of Human and Pony armed forces until we arrived at a square building with a sign reading ‘Canterlot Daily Chronicle’ on the front.

Sharp Blade strode boldly through the door and up to the receptionist, announcing, “We’re here to see the editor in chief.”

The unimpressed receptionist answered, “She’s in an important meeting right now. You can . . .” at that moment she looked past Sharp Blade to see me standing in the door and switched directions, “wait here while I go get her.”

She shot through a door in the wall behind her and twenty seconds later shot back out the door in formation with a middle aged Unicorn mare.

The newcomer walked up to me and introduced herself, “Hello, I’m Straight Story, the owner/editor of this publication,” and offered a hoofbump.

Completing the introductions, “I’m Jack,” and returned the hoofbump.

Straight Story asked, “And to what do I owe that pleasure of your company, Jack?”

I replied, “I’m answering your invitation.” Holding my hand out to Sharp Blade, “The letter, please. And you can find a comfortable place to wait,” looking pointedly at the receptionist, “and maybe even something to drink or a snack.”

The letter floated into my hand and Straight Story ushered me down the hall and into her office. I set the letter on her desk and made myself comfortable on the fat bean bag chair, “That’s a gift, a token of my appreciation for a reporter that asks politely instead of speculating or creating.”

She responded with a raised eyebrow then picked up the letter and read it, nodding as she went.

“If you want more than that letter, there will be rules,” I enlarged on my earlier statement, “First, you may quote anything I deliver in writing but it must be published as written with nothing omitted that might change the meaning. Anything not in writing, like our current conversation, is background and may not be quoted or attributed. This is to protect both of us from my massive ignorance of Equestria and Pony society.

“Second, you may contact me in writing with questions in care of Princess Twilight in Ponyville or via the Royal Castle in Canterlot. As long as the questions are reasonable in number and scope I will do my best to answer them in writing. Ambush journalism or paparazzi style harassment will result in the loss of any privileges.

“Third, you are invited to use my submissions in the fashion that best benefits you and your paper. I will offer what small help I can in the future. Do you agree with these conditions?”

Speaking slowly and carefully, she asked, “Why are you doing this, Jack?”

And I answered simply, “Have you seen the front page of this morning’s Enquirer?” She snorted loudly. I continued, “I need to control my image and not leave it to Ponies like that bunch.”

She smiled, “It will be nice to have a friend in the Castle. I agree.”

I smiled back at her, “You have several, for the same reason. Now, do you have any questions about that letter?”

She picked up a quill and paper and began to write as she asked, “Are you really as dangerous as an angry Griffon?”

“Right to the point,” I remarked. “I didn’t address that in the letter because I’m really not sure. I am not knowledgeable enough of Equestrian weapons and tactics to do more than speculate how many of my Human skills may be useful. . . Yet.”

Looking at me from under a raised eyebrow, Straight Story noted, “But you don’t deny it?”

I sighed deeply and answered carefully, “I’m a newcomer courting a Princess in a land of entitled Nobles. I am not going to expose any of my strengths or weaknesses until all of the challenges and assassination attempts are done and that may be never.”

“Okay,” she acknowledged, “That’s a sensible attitude. Let's try, why did you come here?”

“I’m still working on that one,” I conjectured, “I was having a pleasant dream about a happy fantasy land then I woke up to find the dream had its basis in a reality that is far richer and stronger than any fantasy. At first I thought this was some kind of personal afterlife but I’ve since concluded that there are too many other individuals living their own complex lives all around me for that to be possible. So I’m just as lost about the ultimate meaning of life as everypony else.

“Look, I suggest that you space those answers out over a few days with commentary from experts and notable individuals. You could take questions and forward selected questions to me. Done right it would generate major sales for you and help me get an understanding of what kinds of things are important to ordinary Ponies. Being slow and careful would benefit both of us.”

She agreed that would be a good idea so I collected my escort and we headed back to the Castle. It’s possible that I was a little broody while walking along but I had some decisions to make. We wouldn’t know the results of my first essay into Pony politics until tomorrow morning. And Twilight might be a little touchy until tomorrow if Celestia’s prediction is correct.

When we made it back to the Castle, Twilight was waiting for me in ‘our’ room with a contrite expression on her face. “I’m sorry, Jack,” she murmured. “I should have known better. Can you forgive me?”

“Forgive you for what?” I exclaimed. “For thinking I’m sexy? Never! You are going to have to pay for that forever.”

“JAAACCCKKK!!” blasted an exasperated Twilight. “Don’t make fun of me. I threatened Celestia!”

“I dunno. She looked awfully in control to me,” I explained. “Besides, I’m making fun of myself because I set the whole event in motion. Write it up to be part of my education.

“This ‘Celebration in Canterlot’ keeps mushrooming. I hope all our friends made it home safely.”