Sunset Shimmer had a skateboard.
She wasn’t sure where it came from, or whether she’d even purchased it – perhaps it had come with the spacious loft apartment she called home? Or perhaps it had simply decided to come and live with her of its own accord.
Nevertheless, she had a skateboard.
She also had a plan.
It was early, and college was due to start in a little over ten minutes – not that she cared, being in her own view, an absolute badass. But she usually rocked up around then anyway, so she could catch Twilight arriving precisely on time.
Twilight was…A hapless, clumsy, awkward nerd. And yet, she also managed to excite Sunset in ways that no man, woman, mare nor stallion ever had before. And somehow she had managed to avoid Sunset’s simply legendary flirting and seduction techniques, including: nudging her shoulder in the halls and laughing when she dropped something; calling her a ‘dweeb’ or ‘dork’ whenever they were anywhere near each other; and writing pages upon pages of steamy, romantic, borderline-creepy fiction about the two of them and stuffing the bulging folder of scrappy papers deep at the back of her locker, but nothing had worked!
But the skateboard had given her hope once again.
“Skateboard.” She muttered, excitedly.
If she had learned anything about the human dimension since arriving there some couple of years ago, it was that hot nerdy types required badass skater dudes – or, in this case, dudettes. Their DNA was configured perfectly to enable them to lust after the most leather-covered, studded, coolest folks in town. It was basically the law.
And that meant, clearly, that if she wanted that sweet purple nerd to dive into her arms and hold her hand, she had to act accordingly – The nerdier and more reserved the target, the cooler she would have to be.
She required the skateboard. And perhaps, the skateboard required her too.
A sudden knocking at the door startled her from her deep pondering, as she tentatively placed a foot on the coarse deck.
“Hey, Sunny-buns! You’re gonna be late again!” Pinkie Pie, as high-energy as ever, had her face squished against the glass pane, fogging it up so she could scribble over it with her finger.
“I don’t care!” She couldn’t afford to care. To admit she cared about her academic achievements would be lame, and she might as well roll over and admit she had perfect attendance and a very high predicted grade average across the board. She was no geek. She was too cool for such things.
Pinkie smiled her infectious, perfect smile, “Mmmhm, Twilight is on her way in though!”
Damnit. She had to act fast.
She yanked open the door, catching the falling girl in her arms. “Pinkie, can you skate?”
“Yes.”
“Can you teach me how to skate?”
“No.” Pinkie grew solemn, drawing herself up to her full height, and taking a deep breath. “One does not ‘learn’ to ‘skate’.” She nodded sagely, “One must skate to learn.”
Sunset was less than impressed. And time was slipping by.
“I’ll figure it out on the way!” She shouted, pushing past the confusing girl. She grabbed her crash helmet from a peg by the door, along with a pair of kneepads, a mouthguard, and a small first-aid kit, and she was on her way.
She gritted her teeth, winced as her chin strap snagged her skin, and fumbled her board to her chest. As her boots hit the street, her fingers were already rapidly tapping at her phone, bringing up a series of skating tutorials, old music videos, and skating accident compilations.
Pinkie squeaked after her, "Sunset, wait! She's-
"No time, Pinkie, the skateboard calls!" She tossed her keys behind her, hoping that someone would lock up, and she was gone.
She had nerd pants to dampen.
"And not with pee!" She yelled triumphantly, as she sprinted off down the road, board clacking riotously off her plastic kneepads the whole way.
The school day was winding up, and Twilight Sparkle – star pupil – was walking up the steps to the reception, rucksack of books wrapped around her shoulders, and immaculately-written lab report in a thick binder in her hand. The sun was warm, yet not too hot, and her morning coffee was just starting to kick in. Life was pretty good.
“Get out of the way! Run!” Until a shrieking schoolchild fled past her. And another. And several more. Followed by a whole herd of charging, terrified pedestrians.
Screams of terror erupted all around, as a distant, ominous figure glided slowly into sight.
It was…”Sunset? Is that you?” Twilight called. The jacket and skirt looked about right, but her glasses had gotten dusty during the stampede, and she didn’t have a spare hand to wipe them.
“Skateboard.” Came the soul-shattering reply.
It rumbled in her gut; it jiggled in her breast; it reverberated in her skull.
Raw sexual energy. Unbridled lust, raw and primal, and yet, refined, and powerful.
Never had she been so moved, nor so touched.
The rumbling of worn, overburdened trucks drew nearer, grinding and scraping across the tarmac. Sunset was bolt upright, her feet perfectly perpendicular, and her elbows folded across her chest.
“Holy sweet mother of God…” Twilight murmured, drool dripping from the corner of her agape mouth.
“Twilight!” Sunset screamed, “Watch This!”
Twilight could do nothing but stare. Years of academia, interdimensional travel, and even magic could not have possibly prepared her such desire. Aphrodite herself would have had to take a cold shower to make it through in the face of raw want.
Sunset braced, her entire body contorting into a coiled crouch, as if she were a legendary tigress, moments from pouncing sexily on her prey. Her eyes bulged with effort, and her fists clenched so hard she could feel her own pulse thudding away.
And, just as the universe cried out for relief, she leapt – five, six, maybe even seven inches fell away beneath her, and she soared up the curb. The sun itself cast her in a special, golden light, and the world fell silent in omnipresent awe.
“Skateboard.” She whispered, as the wind stole her breath.
And then, she crashed down, plummeting for almost half a second, embodying Icarus himself, and landing with a resounding crack! As the wheels split apart, and the board disintegrated.
She fell to her knee, shielding her eyes, her sensible kneepads taking the full brunt of her unholy bunny-hop safely.
All around, a deafening moan shattered the still – the world itself nutted harder than ever before, emptying itself into the cosmos; every person even remotely of sexual maturity instantly experienced the single most intense orgasm possible; and every single pair of panties was soddened and tossed into the air as an offering to their new goddess.
Nearer the epicentre, the toll was far greater.
Men lay scattered like so many scorched pins tossed aside by a big sexy bowling ball, clutching at their bellies, and writhing in unknown bliss; and women thrashed and bawled in unperceivable delight. Cars and buses lay in smouldering wrecks, their owners and passengers rolling in ecstasy across the ground, unharmed, yet intensely dampened by their own fluids.
Literally everyone was pregnant.
She barely needed to look to know Twilight’s reaction.
“Sunset, I’m heavily pregnant. My ovaries have exploded. And you’re the father and mother.”
“Sure thing, dollface.” Sunset knew that was a cool thing to say. And the way the slim, nerdy girl dropped her soggy books and swooned at her, confirmed everything she had thought - Badasses get all the girls. She picked her up in one fluid motion and unclipped her helmet, dropping it to the street.
Together, they strode off, college forgotten, as they sought out their new life together amidst the sexually-ravaged remnants of society.
“Luna? Luna? Have you felt it too?” Princess Celestia stood, quaking, in the palace corridors, battering at her sister’s bedroom door.
“Aye.” Luna replied, kicking open the door awkwardly. “Sunset has awakened her sweet ass.” She sighed, futilely batting away the heavy scent of arousal in the air. “Are you too, dampened by raw desire?”
“Fuck yeah.” Celestia smirked, eyes glazed in a horny daze. “Wanna scissor?”
“’kay.”
And so they did.
Author's Note
I'm back. I'm writing words. And you can expect more - probably more lewd ones, tbh.
This was an idea that floated into my head when out drinking, and it would not go away.
Please enjoy, and drop any feedback you may have in the comments! I am well aware this is the dumbest thing I've written in a long time.
