Sombra’s Night Out

by Badguy400

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Big Macintosh, Random, Discord, Violence, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Narcotics, Spike, Comedy, King Sombra
Length: 1477

A little story involving Guy’s Night, but with a few extra guys involved. Rest is explained in the long description.

Spike, Big Mac, and Discord are about to have another one of their guys night out routine. However; they’ve noticed that King Sombra was left out... . So they’ve decided to induct him into the guys night, and he accepted.

Unfortunately; what the guys don’t know is that their guys night is gonna be a little different... . And it’s not gonna be good.

Published 2021-07-11 03:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-07-11 03:10:00 UTC

A Guys Night (sort of)

“Ready Big Mac?” Spike said while he’s getting gussied up in a suit in front of a mirror.

“Eeyup”, replied Big Mac while he’s straightening his tie in front of a mirror as well.

Why is Spike in a suit is simple... . He and the guys are gonna go out to a bar, and hang out. There’s no alcohol involved obviously; because Ponyville doesn’t allow any alcohol consumption. However; due to some shady things going on behind the scenes... the bars have been secretly serving alcohol, and a bunch of bars had plenty of ponies arrested because of it. But for now; let’s get back to the story... .

Spike, Big Mac, and Discord; (who was in another room with them previously)... were just about to head out to the bar to drink and hang out; when suddenly they saw King Sombra sitting all alone on one of the stools by the front door. Curious as to why he’s here; (let alone how he got in); Spike approached him, and asked; “what’s wrong?” Sombra sighs, and replies; “not much... . Except that Flurry Heart has a cold. And since the Royal parents don’t want anyone else getting sick; they’ve decided to send me back to Twilight’s castle as a precaution. Heh; thing is... . I don’t even live here... . I live in the Crystal Empire... .” Discord cleared his throat to get his attention, and then says; “well... it’s not yours per se... . Just like; maybe a home… ? But it’s definitely not your kingdom; of course... . Okay?” Scowling; Sombra says; “well... thanks for pointing that out captain obvious... !” Discord bowed, and then says; “my pleasure”, before taking off his hat, and sailors outfit. Again; don’t question it; it’s Discord.... .

After getting Sombra to try on one of Discord’s backup suits; (in case the one he’s already wearing gets dirty); the guys then went to the front door, and looked towards Sombra. “Ready?” Spike asked. “I guess so...” says Sombra. “Great! Let’s go!” Spike said as he’s opening the front door.

After they’re outside; Spike turned to the others, and asked; “okay; who here knows the way to Ciderbreakers Tavern? Anyone… ?” Sombra clears his throat, then says; “I don’t know... . Maybe it’s next to Sugarcube Corner… ?” Spike gasped, then says; “it is… ! Thanks!” Stunned; King Sombra said; “oh how I wish I could’ve kept my mouth shut...” before getting dragged along with the guys... .

After a few minutes; the guys made it to the tavern, and then stopped at the front door... . “Alright”; Spike said. “Who’s ready... ?” “I’m not”, King Sombra replied. “I wanna go home... .” Spike sighs, then says; “look; either we go to the bar, or we can take you to Canterlot, and you’ll be stuck with Princess Luna listening to her lame stories; got it?” Not wanting that; Sombra reluctantly said; “fine!” and enters the bar. With that; the others followed suit.

“Woah...” Spike said in amazement. This is pretty cool. Confused; Sombra said; “how come... ?” Just then; a random waitress strolled by, and said; “because it’s the only place with sparkling wine.” and winks before roller skating to the other tables. “Cmon y’all;” said Spike. “Let’s drink!” Discord chuckles, then says; “do you have an ID… ?” “Shut up;” Spike said. “Let’s go... .”

With the guys in their seats; a hostess wearing a cider costume; (or whatever you wanna call it); strolled by, and says in a southern accent; “welcome to Ciderbreakers Tavern. How might I help you?” Sombra then sarcastically says; “uh.. yes; where can I go to get to the Crystal Empire faster... ? I’m not enjoying myself here.” Spike elbowed Sombra softly, and says; “Sombra!” before turning to the waitress chuckling, and says; “he’s just playing...” and starts to look at the menu.

After the decision was made; Spike said; “can I get a root beer? I’m too young to drink... .” Sombra chuckles, and says; “but doesn’t that count as beer too?” Spike then said; “shut up.” and pouts. The waitress then said; “it varies; really... . You can even get it with alcohol too.” Spike said; “what?!” and looked shocked. With that; the waitress giggled, then says; “so; that’s one child sized non alcoholic root beer for the dragon. Anypony else?”

Sombra raised his hoof, then says; “now that you mentioned it; can I get a kickers mule? With strawberries please.” The waitress wrote the order down, and asks; “may I see your ID?” With that; Sombra sighs, then says; “on second thought; make that lemon lime; on the rocks.” Smiling; the waitress rewrote Sombra’s order, and asks; “and for you sir?” while she was pointing at Discord. He nodded, and says; “yes. Can I get a chaotic smoothie please?” “Same here!” Big Mac injected. With that; the waitress asked again; “ID?” And with that; both sighed in defeat, and then Discord says; “on second thought; make that an ice cream float; on the house.”

With that; the waitress nodded, and says while writing down the orders; “so that’s one non alcoholic root beer, lemon lime soda, and two ice cream floats. Anything else?” The guys all shook their heads, and then the waitress said; “coming right up! Oh, and if anyone asks; tell them that Petunia’s got ya!” and winks. Hearing that; Sombra says; “well that’s a cute lil name for a lady. I’m starting to like you already.” With that; Petunia giggles, and says; “oh you flatterer, haha”, before roller skating away to get their drinks. Once that was done; Petunia gave them their drinks, and says; “enjoy!” before roller skating away again. With that; King Sombra said; “let’s enjoy!” and began to start drinking his beverage.

The guys were having a wonderful time; when suddenly two drunk dudes; (a unicorn and a Pegasus); came in, and one of them said in a British like tone; “ey; Petunia! We’re thirsty over here! Get your ass over here and help us out!” Looking from behind the counter; Petunia said; “one minute,” and puts down the dishes that she was cleaning. Once she was out to the front of the bar; (where all the tables were at); she said; “what?” before giving the guy a disapproving look. With that; she was hoisted up by the guy’s magic, and the guy says; “listen here missy! You don’t ever get to talk to me that way; got it?!” and then proceeds to throw her to the ground.

Seeing this; the guys all huddled together, and then Spike asked; “what’re we gonna do?!” With that; Sombra says; “let’s get out of here. I’m not used to situations like this...” and gets up to leave. The others followed suit, and began to follow Sombra.

However; once the guys were about to leave; the unicorn stallion said; “oi! Where’re you going, cully?” Sombra turns around, and says; “me?” The guy laughs, then says; “no; the other cock robin.” Sombra sighs, then says; “well; I was leaving”, whilst chuckling also. The guy then drew closer; with his buddy behind him, and says; “oh? And now?... .” Sombra chuckles slightly, then says; “well now... . I’m going to feed you your teeth.” And just like that; the fight was on!

Broken chairs, tables, beer bottles, it was carnage.... . Well; not actual carnage; just a lot of property damage.

Soon though; the fight was over, and King Sombra won; albeit a little beaten of course. With that; Petunia gasped, and then asked; “are you okay?” Sombra shrugged it off, and said; “oh.. it’s nothing.” Petunia then got a bottle from behind the counter, opened it up, poured some of its contents on a dishcloth, and presses it to his cheek saying; “there we are. Now there’ll be no more blood.” Sombra chuckles a little, then says; “that wasn’t necessary... but thank you.” With that; Petunia cleared her throat, and says; “well... I should be cleaning this up now. Y’all take care of yourselves; alright?” Sombra said; “okay!” and waved goodbye before leaving.

However; right before the guys actually left; Petunia stopped them, and gave King Sombra a hug before giving him a slip of paper, and said; “here; be sure to call me when you’re back home. I’ll see you there... .” Afterwards; she gave him a kiss on the cheek, and ran back to the bar to finish cleaning up.

After a few minutes; Big Mac asked; “you alright?” Sombra laughs a little, then says; “you know what Big Mac? I am alright! And hey;” Sombra began before looking at the filly’s phone number. “This is most definitely; the best night ever! To the guys!” Sombra began to chant. “To the guys!” the others chanted back.