"I thought the smell of romance would be...enjoyable."
Spike paced back and forth, waiting for the pony of his dreams, Rarity, to walk on by.
Okay, you got this, Spike. You just need to act cool and ask her out.
Spike lost count how many times he tried (and failed) to ask Rarity out. Most of the time he would flat out faint or be at a loss for words. But Spike was confident that he would nail it this time.
Sure enough, Spike’s eyes caught Rarity walking in his direction. He took a deep breath and leaned against a nearby pole. Once Rarity was close enough, Spike cleared his throat.
“Hey there, Rarity,” said Spike.
Rarity turned her head. “Oh, good afternoon, Spikey-Wikey. I hope you are doing well.”
“I am.” Spike crossed one of his legs. “So I’ve been meaning to ask. How about you and I go out sometime? Just the two of us?”
Inside his head, Spike celebrated his little victory. Not only did he ask Rarity out, but he did it without stuttering or pausing.
Little did he know however, his victory was made moot. Normally, when somepony rejects a date, they’d usually say, “no” or “ew.” Rarity’s quote was much worse.
“I’m so sorry, Spike,” Rarity said. “But I will be much too busy these next few weeks. I’ve been assigned to make Fleur de Lis’s dresses for her upcoming fashion show, so my calendar will be full to the brim.” She pulled out a dozen rolls of fabric out of her saddlebag as proof. “But do not worry. I will consider your offer once I finished.”
Rarity patted Spike’s scaley head and left without another word.
Spike’s mouth was left agape, and his arms hung down like dry jungle vines. He had built up all that confidence only to find out Rarity would be occupied. Spike hung his head for the longest time. It seemed fate was cruel to the baby dragon.
Maybe it was never meant to be. Maybe somepony’s telling me a sign that I shouldn’t go for Rarity.
Spike sighed and walked home. Unbeknownst to him, the pole he leaned on had fresh white paint. Now, a tenth of that paint stuck onto the dragon’s back in a clean white stripe. To make matters worse, a paint can with the same color sat nearby with a warning label in big letters:
ABSOLUTELY PERMANENT! WILL ONLY COME OFF WITH--
The rest of the words were covered in the white paint. In normal circumstances, it would be an inconvenience for somepony to get this kind of paint on their coat. But normal circumstances were far from what was going to happen to poor Spike.
In a nearby alley, a dark figure was holding a black rectangle. The shade made it almost impossible to see the creature.
“I do not know where I am, Babs,” the figure said. The voice was female with an obvious French accent. “All I remember was I saw this swirling vortex and ‘voila!’ Here I am!”
“Are you in a town right now?” the rectangle asked. Its voice was femenine too, but its accent was American. “Can you see any familiar landmarks?”
“Une minute.”
The figure stepped out of the shadows, revealing her form. The long, bushy tail with a white stripe flowing down was the clear indication this creature was a skunk. However, the part of her fur that was supposed to be black was instead a shade of violet. Despite her height reaching only to the size of a filly, the curves on her body could rival a human supermodel’s. Her only article of clothing was the pink bow in her fluffy mane. The rectangle she held was a smartphone.
“What do you see?” The phone asked.
“Hmm,” the skunk said. “I see a lot of medieval buildings, a bunch of colorful horses, a giant blue castle tree thing, and a...a…”
The skunk gazed at Spike who just walked past. Her eyes glued onto the newly added white stripe on his back. It was obvious that Spike wasn’t a skunk, but it didn’t matter to the female moufette. In her mindset, anyone with a stripe on their back was either a skunk or a skunk hybrid, which was enough to satisfy her heart among other things.
“Oo, la la,” the skunk said under her breath. She then said into the phone with a flirty voice, “Excusez-moi, Babs. But something tells me that I’m gonna be here just a bit longer.”
“Fifi! Don’t—!”
*Beep!*
The skunk’s name and the negative contraction was all the phone could say before the skunk pressed the red hang-up button.
Fifi leaned against the wall and observed the baby dragon. He was a bit pudgy, Fifi admitted, but she didn’t mind the few extra pounds. His purple scales matched her fur coat, which was a big plus. The color of Spike’s green spines wouldn’t have been something Fifi chose, but she respected his decision. Given how his height matched hers, it was safe to assume they were about the same age.
After weighing the pros and cons, Fifi decided on her initial instinct: to pursue her potential lover. Just when she was about to step forward, however, she realized she forgot something. She sniffed her tail and concluded she forgot to add her traditional scent. Sadly, her massive hammerspace pockets lacked her perfume bottle.
Fifi cursed in French under her breath. She knew the dragon-skunk would never be attracted to her without her “attractive” smell. She was about to weep when she noticed a nearby perfume store. Fifi’s face lit up as she dashed to the front door.
Meanwhile, Spike kicked some rocks down the street, lamenting on what happened earlier.
Maybe I’m overthinking this. It was just bad luck. That’s all. I had the strength to ask Rarity out before. I’ll gladly do it again when she’s all done with those dresses.
Spike rubbed the back of his neck. The sudden wetness he felt sent shivers down his spine. He checked his fingers and saw the dripping white liquid. He looked behind at his tail, and that’s when he noticed the white paint clinging onto his back.
“Aw, man! I got paint on me?” Spike groaned. “I thought that pole back there felt sticky! I gotta wash this off.”
As he hurried to a nearby fountain, Fifi was having trouble with the sales clerk at the perfume store.
“I’m sorry, miss,” the clerkpony said, unfazed by the fact his customer was a talking technicolored skunk. “But we don’t have any perfume called ‘Le Stink.’ I don’t know why anypony would name their perfume that.”
Fifi rubbed her forehead. She was wasting too much time already. She decided to swallow her pride and get something else.
Fifi sighed. “Amende. Then I’d like your cheapest perfume, s'il te plaît.”
Within seconds, the clerk pulled out a small plastic spray bottle labeled “Eau de poney.”
“That will be two bits,” said the clerk.
Fifi tossed some coins on the counter and dashed out of the store. “Keep le change!”
“Wait ma’am! We don’t…!”
The front door slammed shut and the purple skunk was long gone.
“...accept this kind of money here.” The clerk sighed. “Bah, it was cheap anyway.”
Once Fifi was out of range, she sprayed some of her newly purchased perfume onto her paw. She took a sniff of the scent and shrugged.
“If this is what attracts le locals here then...”
In an instant, Fifi sprayed the entire perfume all over her furry body like she was painting herself a different color. By the time she was done, only a few drops remained in the bottle.
“Now, where is that dragon-moufette?”
Fifi didn’t have to travel far to find Spike at a fountain. She fluttered her eyelids.
“Do not fear, my dear!” Fifi announced. “Fifi La Fume is here!”
As she skipped over to the striped dragon, the ponies around her cringed once the perfume entered their nostrils. It was like getting smacked by a baseball bat dipped in the feminene body spray.
Spike tried to wash off the paint on his tail. Despite numerous scrubbings, the paint remained stuck on his body.
“What’s in this paint? Some sort of scale dye?” Spike asked himself. “I better head back to the castle to—”
“Je t'ai eu!”
Spike’s train of thought was halted when a pair of paws grabbed him and spun him around. Next thing he knew, he was in the arms of some crazy furry lunatic.
“Ah, my darling,” said Fifi alluringly. “This is love at first sight, is it not?”
Spike tried to comprehend what just happened in the past ten seconds. One moment, he was washing the paint away. The next, he was looking into the eyes of some creature who looked like they popped out of a goofy comic book world. Words failed him more than the times he tried to flirt with Rarity.
“Do not come with me to le Casbah,” said Fifi as she stroked her fingers down Spike’s head. “We can make beautiful music right here!”
Fifi pecked Spike’s upper body with kisses as the dragon tried to push her away. His nose was clogged up with the retching smell of her cheap perfume. Even Rarity would’ve disproved of using it if she was flat broke.
Who the Tartarus is this creature?!
Spike mustered up as much dragon strength as he could, and he shoved the skunk away with all his might! Once he was positive he escaped the pest’s clamp-like paws, he dashed away as fast as possible!
Spike quickly took shelter behind a building. He panted heavily and was relieved he could breathe the fresh air again.
“Was that a skunk?” Spike asked himself. “I never seen one that’s purple, let alone one that’s purple, grabby, and speaking.”
“Trying to play hard to get, grand, violet, et beau?”
Spike gulped as he turned around. The same skunk he got away from at the fountain was leaning against the wall donning the same flirty eyes as before. She ran up and kissed his arm multiple times.
“I do not give up so easily, chéri,” Fifi said.
Spike once again took off running. He looked behind to see Fifi pronking after him like a skunk-ified Pinkie Pie. He speeded all over the place, making plenty of turns like a clueless tourist. He continued until he was certain he outran and outsmarted the crazy lady.
After minutes and miles of running, Spike dove into some bushes near the local schoolhouse. He controlled his breathing and hoped he lost his captor this time.
Why is she attracted to me? Did she assume I was a skunk because of my white stripe? It’s clearly obvious I don’t look like a skunk. How can one white stripe make all the difference?
Spike counted ten before leaving the bush. Just then, the front door of the school knocked loudly. Spike tilted his head and opened the door. He then noticed someone lying on the desk.
“Hello?” Spike asked.
“Ah, welcome to ma classe.”
Oh, no!
The figure revealed itself to be Fifi wearing a teacher’s outfit: a white-buttoned shirt, rectangular glasses, a black skirt, and grey stockings. She was holding a ruler.
“Today’s lesson: L'amour!”
Spike slammed the front door shut and ran, for the third time, away.
“How does that skunk keep catching up with me?” Spike asked himself. “She must know how to teleport or something!”
Spike ran to Sweet Apple Acres. He hoped that somepony there had a home remedy for removing white paint from scales. And a skunk from a dragon while they were at it.
Spike checked if Fifi was still chasing him. He picked the wrong time to look back because...
*Crash!*
Spike tripped over a bucket, sending the apples inside tumbling across the ground.
"Oww…" Spike groaned.
"What in tarnation was that?" A voice asked.
Spike leaped up and shouted, "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU—! Oh, Applejack. Thank goodness it's you. Listen, you gotta help me!"
"What’s going on?" The orange farm pony adjusted her brown stetson.
"I'm being attacked by some sort of skunk!"
"That ain't good." Applejack sniffed the air around Spike. "The varmint didn't spray ya yet. You oughta be lucky."
"How can I be lucky?! That creature has been kissing me silly and flirting like some casanova wannabe! I think it's because of this white paint strip on my back."
Spike turned around and showed Applejack the stripe.
"Seriously? That skunk must be lackin' a thing or two upstairs if they can't tell the difference between a dragon and a skunk."
"That’s what I thought," said Spike. "Do you think you can remove the paint? I already tried water, but it didn't help."
Applejack scratched her chin. "I think I got some paint remover in the barn. Come on."
Spike hopped on Applejack's back and rode into the barn. Once there, both of them searched everywhere for a can of paint remover, but to no avail.
"I could've sworn I had a fresh can in here," said Applejack. "Maybe it's in the shed. Stay put, Spike."
Spike nodded as Applejack left the barn. He sat patiently on an empty crate hoping she’d find it soon.
At least I'm safe from that skunk.
That's when he heard the sound of music. The music in question sounded like something that would be played at a gala. He looked to see a record player resting in the corner of the barn.
Spike walked up to the phonograph. He was about to turn it off when someone grabbed his arm.
Oh, no!
Spike was once again in the arms of Fifi La Fume. The skunk was wearing a red sleeveless dress and a flower in her hair.
"Bonjour, Monsieur," greeted Fifi. "Shall we say, as les agriculteurs put it, do-si-do?"
Spike could not give an answer. The two purple creatures tangoed in the barn. One of them was, anyway. Spike kept pulling away and dragging his feet, hoping to stop.
“You seem to have two left feet, no?” Fifi asked. “C'est bon. Everyone dances to different beats.”
Spike didn’t understand why he couldn’t speak up and tell Fifi to stop. Was it the fact he felt too overwhelmed by all this? Was it the belief that Fifi wouldn’t listen to him? Was it the cheap perfume that’s burning his nose off? Whatever it was, Spike could not rally up a single word.
Applejack needs to hurry back with that paint remover!
Applejack already made it to the shed. Just when she was about to open the wooden doors, she noticed a puddle seeping out from underneath and killing the nearby grass.
Applejack gasped. “Oh, no!”
She quickly put some boots and gloves on and opened the shed. The only can of paint remover lied on the floor. Its liquid contents spilled everywhere thanks to its loose cap.
“Land sakes!” Applejack carefully picked up the can. “I told Applebloom to always tighten the cap on this thing when she’s done! I gotta clean all this up before it ruins the woodwork.”
Spike couldn’t handle it anymore. The combination of Fifi’s scent and her forceful dance moves was making him dizzy. He was on the verge of collapsing. He had to say something. He opened his mouth to speak...
“Bark! Bark!”
Spike instantly covered his mouth. Fifi dropped him the second she heard that loud sound.
“Was that you, monsieur?” Fifi asked.
The barking continued. A set of running paws came next. Spike turned to see Applejack’s dog, Winona, running up.
Oh, thank Celestia. Winona can scare her off.
Winona stopped in front of Fifi and growled at her. Unfortunately for Spike, Fifi was not afraid of the pooch’s intimidation.
“Beat it, chienne!” Fifi shouted. “He’s mine!”
Fifi pulled out the perfume bottle and sprayed the last few drops in Winona’s face. Winona shook her head wildly and whined. She sprinted away with her tail between her legs.
“That’ll teach you to mess with moi!”
Seeking the opportunity, Spike got up and made a break for it out of the barn! He didn’t care if Applejack already found that remover. He was not going to wait another minute with that skunk!
“I gotta head home!” Spike panted. “Maybe Twilight will protect me!”
“Bad news, Spike,” Applejack called out as she returned to the barn empty-hoofed. “We just ran out of paint remover. I’m gonna buy some more…”
Her speech was stopped when Winona came running up to her.
“What’s the matter, girl?” Applejack took one whiff of her pet and stepped back in disgust. “Hoo-wee! Winona! Ya smell like one of Rarity’s fashion magazines! What happened to ya?!”
Applejack fanned the air with her hat. Winona pointed to the skunk that just hopped out of the barn.
“You can run all you want, mon amour!” Fifi shouted. “But you can’t hide from Fifi La Fume!”
As she hopped away, Applejack was aghast at what she witnessed. Winona whined once again.
“That must’ve been the skunk Spike was talkin’ about,” Applejack said. “Doesn’t look like any skunk I've ever seen, though. I better get Fluttershy.”
Winona barked.
“After I wash that stench off ya, of course.”
After giving Winona a quick bath (and praising that the perfume was easier to get off than a normal skunk’s spray), Applejack ran out of the farm and down the road. Once she got to Fluttershy’s cottage, she saw Fluttershy having tea with Pinkie Pie.
“Oh, Pinkie,” said Fluttershy as she giggled. “You can be so random sometimes.”
“It’s what I do best,” Pinkie replied. “I worked hard to get that degree after all.”
“What degree?”
“I’m sorry to interrupt, gals,” said Applejack. “But I need your help, Fluttershy!”
“What’s wrong, Applejack?” Fluttershy put her teacup down.
“Some weird-looking skunk has been harassin’ poor Spike because he’s got a white stripe on his back. Know anything about it?”
Fluttershy slowly shook her head. “Skunks don’t normally attack others for that reason alone. Why do you ask?”
“Well, the one that’s after Spike keeps makin’ out with him and a lotta other cheesy romantic stuff.”
“A skunk falling in love with a dragon?” Pinkie giggled. “That sounds like something out of a fanfic.”
“I thought she might’ve came from your cottage, given how unusual she looked,” Applejack said to Fluttershy.
“What do you mean unusual? Can you describe what the skunk looks like?” Fluttershy stood up.
“Well...she was purple instead of black. She stood on two paws. I’ve even heard her speak Ponish, along with a bit of fancy like Rarity.”
Pinkie widened her eyes. “Wait. Did you catch her name?”
“I think I heard her say...uh...Fifi a-fumes?”
Pinkie gasped and jumped. “Fifi La Fume!”
“You know her?” Fluttershy asked.
“Of course I know her!” Pinkie trotted in place. “This is incredible! Where is she now, Applejack?!”
“Uh, I think still chasin’ after Spike,” Applejack replied.
“Ah, typical Fifi. I gotta tell Twilight!”
Pinkie then zoomed away, leaving Fluttershy and Applejack dumbfounded.
Spike’s lungs were burning as he made it to the castle. He rested on the steps to take a brief breather. After about a minute of catching his breath, he ran up the stairs and through the double doors.
“I need to hide in my room!” Spike declared. “Once I’m there, I’ll lock every door and window until—”
*Bump!*
Spike crashed into someone else, knocking both of them to the floor. Spike kept his eyes shut and prayed whoever he bumped into was not the same skunk he’s been escaping all day. The lack of that stench was promising.
Spike opened his eyes and sat up. He noticed the figure in front of him rubbing their head. The creature was a rabbit, if the long ears and buck teeth proved anything. Their fur was a shade of blue, and they were wearing a red shirt and gloves.
“Ohhh,” the rabbit groaned. “Oh, I’m so sorry, kid! I didn’t see you there!” The rabbit stood up and gave Spike a hand.
“It’s okay,” Spike said as he grabbed the rabbit’s hand and stood up. “If I’m being honest, I’m glad to bump into someone else for a change.”
The rabbit tilted their head.
“Are you two alright?” A voice asked.
Spike and the rabbit noticed Twilight Sparkle approaching them.
“Twilight!” Spike greeted. “Boy, am I glad to see you. And yes, I’m fine.”
“That’s good.” Twilight nodded. “Oh, Spike, this is Buster Bunny. Buster, this is Spike, my #1 assistant.”
“It’s nice to meet ya, Spike,” said Buster.
“Likewise.”
The two of them shook hands.
“So where are you from, Buster?” Spike asked. “I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”
“Acme Acres!” Buster proudly replied.
“Acme Acres? Can’t say I’ve heard about that place.”
“Well, it’s not in Equestria...or in this universe for that matter.”
“Huh? Then how did you get here?”
“Ah...well...” Twilight rubbed the back of her head. “That’s partially because of me.”
Spike sighed. “What spell went wrong this time?”
“The one about portals. I was trying to see if I could visit some other worlds besides Sunset Shimmer’s and...well...”
“The mirror thing went kablooey and some of us got sucked into some swirly things,” Buster concluded.
“‘Some of us’?” Spike asked.
“I wasn’t the only one who got teleported to this world. I called some of my friends and they ended up here too.” Buster pulled out his phone. “Amazing how you can get signal in the weirdest of places.”
Spike swallowed. “Wait, one of your friends wouldn’t happen to be a...”
Before Spike could say another word, the front doors slammed wide open. He bit his lip hoping it wasn’t Fifi. The sound of hoofbeats made him breathe easier.
“Twilight! Twilight!” Pinkie galloped towards the group. “You’re not gonna believe who…!”
Pinkie stopped instantly the second she noticed the blue bunny. Both of their eyes widened.
“Pinkie Pie?” Buster asked.
“Buster Bunny?” Pinkie asked.
“It really is you!” They both shouted in unison.
Pinkie and Buster hugged and shook hands with joy buzzers while Twilight and Spike watched with confusion.
“You haven’t changed a bit!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I can’t believe it’s been so long!”
“Me neither!” Buster replied.
“Alright, hold on,” Twilight said. “Touching as this reunion is, how do you guys know each other?”
“Oh, heh. I guess I never told you,” said Pinkie. “Buster and I used to be classmates!”
Pinkie and Buster each pulled out a photograph and showed it to their friends. It was a picture of Pinkie Pie, Buster, and a lot of other creatures in graduation uniforms standing in front of a university with the name “Acme Looniversity.” Spike’s heart sank when he noticed the purple skunk was one of them.
“Wait, but it looks like this school is in a different universe,” Twilight said to Pinkie. “How did you attend?”
“Montana Max, a mean rich kid, bought a portal gun off of the internet,” replied Buster. “It could only be used once, and the portal he made stayed open for only five minutes.”
“Which was enough time for pre-teen me to hop right in and meet all of Buster’s friends and attend their school!” Pinkie added.
“Then how did you get back?” Twilight asked.
“Max bought another portal gun years later, and I was able to head back sometime after graduation,” said Pinkie. “Quite a coincidence that it would lead to the same universe.”
“And quite a coincidence the universe I chose would be the same one where you went to school,” said Twilight.
“So did you see any of our other friends, Pinkie?” Buster asked.
“Nope, but I heard Fifi’s on her way here,” Pinkie replied. She then turned to Twilight. “She’s a purple skunk, by the way.”
Spike gasped. “H-how long until she gets here?”
“Should be any second now.”
“Oh, no!”
Spike ran off as fast as he could.
“What’s his problem?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie and Buster noticed the white stripe as Spike disappeared down the hall.
“I think we know,” said Buster.
Spike dashed into the first room he saw, which was the library. He banged the doors shut behind him, propped them with a chair, and dove under the rug.
Please don’t find me! Please don’t find me! Please don’t find me!
Spike could hear the doors opening followed by the chair falling down. He silently slapped his forehead, forgetting the doors opened both ways. He could hear footsteps approaching him. Spike crossed his fingers.
“I know you’re tired from all that running, but that’s kind of the worst place to hide.”
Spike peeked from the rug. Buster was standing in front of him.
“Fifi’s not nearby, is she?” Spike asked quietly.
Buster shook his head. Spike sighed and stood up.
“I take it you’ve had a run-in with her and then some,” said Buster. “Turn around and let me see the stripe.”
Spike did just that. Buster chuckled a bit.
“Yeah, she goes gaga over anyone with a stripe,” the blue bunny said. “At least Mr. Pew had limits.”
“Is there a way to get her to stop?” Spike asked. “I can’t seem to say a word when she's near me. I want to remove the stripe, but it won’t come off with water, and I ran away before Applejack could get me some paint remover.”
"Did you try fighting fire with fire?"
"What do you mean?"
"I know Fifi. Like her mentor, she's a giver not a taker. Just give her a taste of her own medicine, and she'll stay away from you."
"Are you sure it will work?"
"Hey, I've seen some of her mentor's past films, and they seemed to do the trick. Granted, he doesn't do all that ‘grabbing girls stuff’ anymore, but I’m sure it'll work for Fifi."
"I don't know, Buster." Spike rubbed the back of her head. "I'm not the grabby, ravishing type. I would never handle a mare like that. I'm a gentledragon."
"Don’t worry. I'll vouch for you if you get cancelled."
What the Tartarus does that mean?
"Do you have any nose plugs at least?" Spike asked.
Buster pulled out a couple from behind his back. "Never leave the stump without it."
"Thanks." Spike placed the plugs in his nostrils.
Suddenly, the double doors slammed wide open. Fifi stood with open arms.
“Do not fear, my dear! Fifi La Fume is h—!”
*Pounce!*
Spike quickly got the jump on the skunk and pinned her to the ground.
Hope this works.
In an instant, Spike showered Fifi with kisses all over her face and neck.
“But monsieur!” Fifi pleaded. “What caused this turn of events?”
Spike lifted her up and continued with the plethora of kisses. He rubbed his fingers down her head, making her shiver.
“Monsieur! Control yourself! This is indécent! Control yourself! Quit acting so barbare!”
Fifi quickly pushed him away and scurried out of the library. Buster patted Spike on the back, but the latter didn’t accept the appraisal.
“I can’t believe I just did that!” Spike cried.
“Don’t worry about it, Spike,” said Buster. “She’ll be over it.”
Twilight and Pinkie entered the library.
“What happened?” Twilight asked. “Pinkie and I just saw Fifi run out.”
Spike sighed and removed the nose plugs. “I was trying to give her a taste of her own medicine.”
“Ooh, a role reversal,” said Pinkie. “That’s a classic.” She then noticed the sad look on Spike’s face. “Oh, sorry.”
“I just wanted to show her how I felt when she grabbed and kissed me.”
“Why didn’t you just tell her?” Twilight asked.
“I don’t know! Everytime I’m near her, I just can't get the words out. Let’s just remove this stripe before she comes back.”
Outside, two bipedal creatures walked up to the crystalized castle. One was a rabbit like Buster, only they were pink and wore a yellow shirt, a purple skirt, and a bow on each ear. The other was a green duck with a white tank top. The duck was munching on a slice of stale bread.
“Plucky, where did you get that bread?” the rabbit asked the duck.
“Some old pony gave it to me at the park,” replied Plucky.
“Was it before or after she found out you could talk?”
Plucky and the rabbit’s conversation was interrupted when Fifi came running out of the castle. She stopped in front of them out of breath.
“Le puff! Le pant! Le puff! Le pant!” Fifi lifted her head and gasped. “Babs! Plucky! You’re here! Am I heureuse to see you!”
Fifi squeezed both of Babs and Plucky.
“Bleugh!” Plucky pushed Fifi away. “Did ya change your smell or something?”
“Actually, oui. I did.” Fifi nodded. “I bought this new perfume called ‘Eau de poney.’”
“Don’t take it the wrong way, but I liked your old perfume better.”
“What were you doing running out of that castle, anyway?” Babs asked.
“I was flirting with this hunk of a skunk when he decided to turn le tables on moi. I was not ready for that!”
Babs rubbed her forehead. “I tried to tell you not to flirt with anyone here.”
“I couldn’t help it! You know me, Babs. The second I see a white stripe, le boom! I’m all over them!”
“Hey, did you see Buster by any chance?”
“I think I did. I might’ve seen Mademoiselle Pie as well.”
“Pinkie Pie?!” Babs and Plucky asked in unison.
“Wow!” Babs exclaimed. “I haven’t seen her since graduation!”
“I should’ve known she’d be here,” said Plucky. “Some of the ponies here looked so familiar.”
“Where are they now, Fifi?”
“Still in the castle,” replied Fifi. “But...uh...I’m going to stay outside for un petit moment.”
“You brought this on yourself, you know,” said Plucky.
Back at the library, Starlight and Twilight rubbed washcloths down Spike’s back while Pinkie chatted with Buster.
“There, that ought to do it,” said Twilight. “You’re back’s all clean, Spike.”
Spike checked and saw his tail and spines were back to their respective purple and green colors. He never sighed so heavily.
“Thanks, girls,” Spike said as he hugged them. “How did you get it off?”
“You’d be surprised how much stuff comes off with saliva,” said Starlight.
“What?! Ew!”
“She’s just kidding, Spike,” Twilight giggled. “It’s a homemade mixture for removing paint. It’s safe on scales and fur, but you may want to wash just in case.”
“Phew. I’ll do just that.”
As Spike hurried to the bathroom, Starlight and Twilight listened to Pinkie’s conversation.
“Hey, remember that song you guys used to sing?” Pinkie cleared her throat. “We’re tiny!”
Buster grinned. “We’re toony!”
“We’re all a little loony!” The two sang. “It's Tiny Toon Adventures, so come and join the fun!”
Both of them chuckled afterwards. Starlight and Twilight looked at each other.
“Too bad I arrived after your show ended,” said Pinkie.
“Yeah, you know how those producers are. Once you're done with your contract, they drop you like that.” Buster snapped his fingers.
“No way! It is you, Pinkie Pie!” A voice shouted.
Everypony and nonpony turned to see Babs and Plucky enter the library.
“Plucky! Babs!” Pinkie called out. “It’s so good to meet you again.”
“I take it these two are also from Buster’s world?” Starlight asked as Pinkie ran up to hug them.
“Mm-hm!” Pinkie picked up Plucky. “This grumpy green duck is Plucky Duck!”
“Hey! I’m not grumpy!” Plucky retorted. “And put me down, Pinkie! I thought you were over this!”
Pinkie placed him down and pointed to Babs. “And that other bunny is Babs Bunny. Before you ask, there’s no relation!”
Babs gave a thumbs up.
“Hold on! I just had a wonderful idea!” Pinkie. “We should throw a party! It’ll be like a class reunion!”
“Great idea! You always were the party animal,” said Buster. “Heh, some things never change.”
“Wait a minute, whatever happened to us going home?” Plucky asked.
“I think I can repair the mirror portal,” Twilight offered. “It’ll take some time, but I’ll guarantee it’s going to work.”
“Woohoo!” Pinkie cheered. “I’ll get my party cannon!”
“Get Fifi as well,” said Babs. “She won’t want to miss this! I think she’s still outside the castle.”
Spike finished washing himself. He used more water in the shower than in any of his seven-hour bubble baths. Despite everypony and nonpony telling him it was okay, the regret of what he did to Fifi still remained like a scar.
Why did I do that? Granted, turning the tables was better than having her all over me, but doing all that so she could leave me alone? Why couldn't I talk to her?
As Spike dried off, he noticed that the situation felt familiar. Someone comes up to him, and he can’t say a word. It was just like when he tried asking Rarity out. That’s when he made the connection.
Whenever Spike was too scared or nervous, he could not bring himself to speak. That’s why he had trouble with Fifi. And why he kept failing to ask Rarity out all those times. He needed to grow a spine and speak up.
Spike headed to the door. He only cracked it open when he heard voices.
“Remember that time we got Furball to help us at that casino?” Pinkie’s voice asked.
“Oui! By betting on the opposite of what he betted! We were swimming in chips after that!” Fifi’s voice replied. “We would’ve bought the entire place had it not been for le security.”
Spike took a step back as he listened to the giggling girls’ footsteps pass by. He took a deep breath.
I need to talk to her. My stripe is gone, so hopefully she'll listen to me without tackling me.
He had the courage to ask the mare of his dreams out. He can do the same to tell some random skunk he just met to back off.
After taking a few deep breaths, Spike walked out of the bathroom. His ears picked up the sound of party music. He didn’t have to guess who was responsible for that. He followed the music up to the library’s doors. Once he opened them, his vision was filled with balloons and streamers. He looked around and noticed Pinkie Pie and her former loony schoolmates partying and chatting. Starlight was there, too.
“Spike! You’re just in time!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I was just throwing a party for my old classmates.”
“I figured as much,” said Spike.
Meanwhile, Fifi was pouring herself a cup of punch when she noticed Spike. What caught her eye was his back, which lacked the white-stripe she desired. A wave of disappointment washed over her face.
“It really was le stripe,” she sighed.
“...anyway, we’re gonna celebrate until Twilight recalibrates the portal,” Pinkie said to Spike. “So go on ahead and chat with everyone else!”
“Thanks, Pinkie. There was one creature that I wanted to chat with, actually,” replied Spike.
“Okie dokie loki!”
Spike searched the room and found Fifi by the punch bowl. He took a deep breath once again and approached the skunk. As he got closer, she noticed him, but she didn’t pounce on him. That, along with the perfume dissipating, made Spike breath easier.
“Hey, Miss Fifi?” Spike asked.
Fifi looked at him and lowered her cup.
Spike continued, “I want you to know that I regret what I did earlier. I didn’t want to kiss you like that, but I had to show you what you were doing to me. You’ve been grabbing me, kissing me, and flirting with me like crazy. All that made me feel, well, uncomfortable. I was too frightened to speak at the time, and I doubt you would even listen. I’m sorry, but I did what I had to do.”
Fifi put her cup on the table. “I should be the one who is sorry, monsieur. I did not mean to make you inconfortable. I have always had an infatuation with those with white stripes. I cannot help it. It’s like an obsession with moi. ”
“I don’t know how I can help you with that, but there’s one piece of advice I can give you: try to ease up on the perfume. The amount you put on earlier made my eyes water. Even Rarity wouldn’t douse herself so much.”
“Oh, you already have un amante?”
“It’s...complicated.”
“But I have to spray moi même. A woman’s scent is one of the most important aspects for attracting males.”
“Have you tried to flirt without your perfume? I don’t know what you smell like without perfume, but it wouldn’t hurt to try it once and see how it goes. But not on me, please!”
As Spike and Fifi continued their conversation, Starlight talked to Buster.
“So what do they teach at Acme Looniversity?” Starlight asked.
“How to be a funny cartoon character, of course,” replied Buster. “There’s classes such as offscreen teleporting, hammerspace holding, and fourth wall breaking.”
“What’s the last part about?” Starlight tilted her head.
“I’d give you an example, but I’m afraid you might get into an identity crisis. This fanfic’s already got two plot lines, after all.”
Before Starlight could press any further, the double doors opened and Twilight entered the room.
“Attention everypony...and nonpony!” Twilight announced.
The music died down and everypony turned their attention to Twilight.
“I just fixed the portal! Follow me, if you please.”
Everyone followed Twilight to the next room. The portal stood firmly in the center covered with different gadgets. Spike noticed she added some new ones onto it.
“So as it turns out, a capacitor got overloaded because it couldn’t handle switching dimensions, so I was able to construct a more efficient one. I also added a device for easier calibrations.” Twilight pointed at a screen with a keyboard at the bottom. “This portal should lead you to your home world. Anyone want to try?”
“I’ll do it!” Plucky announced.
“Alright. Just walk on through.”
Plucky stepped up to the mirror. After combing himself upon seeing his reflection, he stepped through.
“How do you know it’s the right world?” Babs asked.
“When I cast the spell on the portal initially, I just used a random combination of letters and symbols,” said Twilight. “I took note of the unique combination just in case. When I finished upgrading the portal, I used the combination once more. Now we just have to wait and see if he comes back.”
After a few minutes, the green duck returned.
“Yep, it’s Acme Acres,” he said as he gave a thumbs up.
The other tiny toon figures cheered.
“Thanks for helping us, Princess Twilight,” said Buster. “It was amazing meeting you again, Pinkie.”
“Same to you, Buster,” replied Pinkie. “Maybe next time, I’ll introduce you to my other Ponyville friends.” She then gasped. “Wait! Twilight, is it okay if I visit Acme Acres with the rest of my old friends? I want to see how much the place has changed since I left.”
Twilight scratched her head. “Well...if the others don’t mind...”
“That would be great!” Buster said.
“I’ll make sure to keep the portal to this setting until you come back, Pinkie.”
“Thanks, Twilight!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Let’s go!”
As Plucky, Buster, and Babs entered the portal, Fifi twiddled her thumbs.
“Remember what I said.” Spike patted Fifi on the back. “It might help you.”
Fifi quickly hugged him, but less of a romantic way and more of a “farewell” way.
“Au revoir, Monsieur Spike,” she said.
Spike didn’t pull away. In fact, he hugged back. The perfume was barely noticeable.
“A bientôt, Fifi,” he said, hoping his Prench wasn’t too rusty.
Fifi hurried through the portal. Pinkie was the last to go.
“Oh! I can’t wait to re-meet everyone!” Pinkie squealed. “Except for Elmyra...”
Pinkie vanished through the portal. Twilight, Starlight, and Spike exited the room.
“You know, hearing from what Buster told me about the school,” Starlight said, “it would explain so much about Pinkie.”
“You and me both,” said Twilight. “At least we got everything sorted out.”
“I’m gonna head to my room,” Spike said.
“We’ll be at the library if you need us.”
Spike walked down the halls by his lonesome. He was about to enter his room, when he noticed a familiar white unicorn approaching him.
“Rarity?” Spike widened his eyes.
“Spike, darling. How marvelous to see you,” Rarity replied.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be making all those dresses.”
“Well, as it turns out, Fleur de Lis only wanted two to three dresses, not twenty-three. I didn’t noticed the dash.”
“Oh. So did you want to speak to Twilight? I think she’s in the library with Starlight...”
“Actually, I came here to see you. I thought about your offer, and I’d be happy to go out with you, Spikey-Wikey.”
Spike raised his eyebrows.
“Is there a time and place you would like to meet?” Rarity asked.
“I-I’m sorry, Rarity, but is it okay if we discuss this tomorrow? I kinda had enough ‘romantic’ adventures for one day.”
“Oh, sure thing.”
Spike entered his room. Rarity was left confused.
“I wonder what he meant by that,” she said to herself.
Author's Note
I used Google Translate for the French words, so they may not be 100% accurate.
