Estranged Anomalies

Kas stared blankly at the kitchen in front of him. In particular, the countertop, where a rolling pin lay. Despite him and Pinkie clicking almost instantly, there were clear discrepancies between their skillsets. Namely, the fact that Kas was a cook, not a baker.

“I still don’t get why they are called cookies if I’m baking them.” The grey earth pony mutters, frowning a bit. Sure, parties were meant to have baked goods, but he was more of a firework kinda fella.

“Me neither, but they DO cook hay bacon, sooo…”

He gives her a sour look. “Two wrongs don’t make a right, Miss Pie.”

Pinkie blows a raspberry his way, gesturing toward the counter. “What you are gonna do: is knead the dough! And that is easy-peasy! No lemon squeezies, though. Fresh lemons are tough to come by after that Incident involving Applejack and Lemon Meringue..." She shudders.

He stares at the rolling pin in silence. Complete, and utter, silence. In fact, Kas had likely never stayed this still in his entire life. Which was saying a lot, due to how much he moved around. Pinkie leans forward, watching the stoic, solid gaze Kas is casting towards the rolling pin. Was it contempt he was expressing? Regret? Maybe it was some combination of both. Wordlessly, he reached a forehoof outward and touched the rolling pin.

Which instantly burst into flames.

Pinkie feels her gaze instantly shift away from Kas, now onto the aflame rolling pin. “Huh… that’s not supposed to happen.” She murmurs, the flickering flames reflecting off her big, blue eyes.

She is quick to snap back to attention, reaching backward and fishing a fire extinguisher out of her hair. “Alright! A minor hurdle, sure. I’ll help you polish your baking up another day, no worries!” Pinkie nods her head back at him. “In the mean time, mind blowing up some balloons for me? We’re gonna need a lot.”

“Balloons… I can do that, yeah. Yeah!” He shoots her a small grin, and is able to aptly hide the slight unease that was lurking behind it.

He trots off into one of the neighboring rooms. A living space, by the looks of things.It seemed that coming here he kept some of his abilities in tact, but… he was also feeling a bit at a loss. Namely, he couldn’t remember what those abilities were. He was fast, sure, but what else aside from that?

He thought about it, but nope. All he could come up with was him being fast. A mystery for another day, he supposes.

“This is fun and all… but I can’t remember a lot. I also have… not the best attention span. I still need a job, and clearly this place Pinkie works in is all about baking.” He grimaces as he laments to himself. While he couldn’t remember any specifics, he could remember the few times he had attempted baking. None of them were pretty. It either ended in an amorphous construct that tried to consume all in its path, or a inferno wild enough to rival the most violent of wildfires.

“Oof… and what if I get chased, too? Those -fffsssss- guys can really be -ffsssss- relentless…” His breathing gets a bit haggard as he blows up balloons while conversing with himself. “Got lotsa -ffssssss- weapons on their hands… probably could hop over -ffsssss- HERE too if they really wanted to, definitely got the -ffssss- resources for… for it… huff.” Kas stops, staring at the half blown balloon in his hooves.

“Why… huff… the ‘ell am I talkin’ and blowing? This was… puff… a HORRIBLE idea!” He lets the current balloon loose, resulting in a blast of air back in his face. His nose crinkles.

“Pinkieeeee. Party Ponieeeee. Pink- pink- Pinkie Binkie Rinkie Kin-”

“Yyyeess, Kasi?” She ducks her head in, eyebrow raised.

Kas casts his gaze behind him. “Is, uh,” He does a quick count of all the balloons. “Wow, that is at least over four dozen in a few minutes. No wonder I was sputtering like a dying putt-putt. But yeah! That. Is that enough balloons?”

Pinkie frowns for a second, which instantly unnerves Kas. Shit, did he mess up? The expression looked downright unnatural on her usually smiley face. “Kasi... that is a lot of balloons… maybe too many, if I’m being totally honest…”

Kas stares at her in silence, while Pinkie stares back… before cracking a wide grin. “Ayyyy, gotcha!”

He laughs, shaking his head. “You really did. I was about to say!”

They bump forehooves together. “No such thing as too many balloons!” They cry in unison.

“Oh yeah… since that is good, would you mind if I peeped around town to get a feel for the place?” Kas hums, leaning forward.

Pinkie snickers, gently bopping him on the noggin. “Of course you can, silly! It’s not like I’m keeping you here against your will! That’d be sooo messed up!”

“But you know what’d be even more messed up?”

“Hmm?” She tilts her head.

“If you were, like… were a surgeon… but instead of organ transplants… replaced their organs with cupcakes? Is that anything?” Kas mumbles, rubbing his bopped noggin.

“Hm, could use a little work. Some of the details seem kinda off… could make for a weird story, though!”

“All I know is that I’d replace my kidney with a carrot cake one.”

“I feel like you’re doing that thing again, where you say silly things just for the sake of being silly.” Pinkie muses, smirking as she narrows her eyes at him suspiciously.

“Me? Sorry, doc, but it’s terminal. I was raised by a pack of ravenous clowns when I was just a young sprout.”

The two of them share a laugh once more before Kas lets Pinkie get back to her baking, slinking outside and observing Ponyville itself. In truth, he hadn’t spent a lot of the time observing the place, and ended up bolting off with Pinkie the first chance he got. Like his train of thought stops abruptly upon the tracks just to observe some balloons floating along the side.

So! Out and about, once more. Man, he can only imagine how much more difficult this would be if he was still a human. Either ponies would be horrified or strangely enticed, and neither option really appealed to him.

"S'good to blend in, but also... can't help but notice the total lack of humans here. Could just be dimensional variables, though..." He stroked his chin thoughtfully with a forehoof, humming.

"Mrroww..."

Now that was a strange noise... followed by panicked squeaking. He saw a bunny scampering up towards him, a cat bounding after said bunny. The bunny had tried to request the help of other passing ponies, but they all seemed either too busy with their day, or couldn't understand their panicked body language.

Kas stops in place, and bows forward. This sorta stuff came naturally to him, and he was willing to accept this bunny as his lord and savior. If Looney Toons was as credible a source as it was, which it was, rabbitfolk weren't the kind to be trifled with.

The bunny pauses briefly, casting a nervous glance back at the advancing feline, and leaps up onto Kas' head. He leans back up as the cat tries to pounce, causing it to narrowly miss as his head is pulled back. "Woah, pardner'... bit eager on the reins there, ain't ya? Gotta be gentle with critters like these..." He giggles, reaching a forehoof out to pat the cat's head. "Hehehe... good kitty..."

The cat then hisses, lashing out and raking its claws against his forehoof. Kas seems unphased, continuing to grin goofily. "And even more volatile than a... a manticore, it was! Truly the smaller a creature is, the more power they wield, in this world!" He tilts his gaze up, eyeing the bunny. "Does this make me your champion?"

The bunny pauses for a second, as if he had to think on it, before nodding.

That goofy grin gets wider. "Awesome."

He trots past this very angry cat, as the words "A BUNNY HAS JOINED THE PARTY" echo off in a vacant part of his mind.

As he moves around, checking out shops and buildings, he sees an orange pony in a stetson wheeling in a cart full of tons of apple relates goodies.

"Ooh! Bapples." He grins, attracting the attention of the orange pony.

"Well, I'll be darned! Two new fellers in one day? Sometimes us Ponyville folks go a week without seein a new face!" She unhooks herself from the cart, wiping a bit of sweat from her brow with a forehoof. Then, she offers up the non-sweat wiped forehoof to Kas, forcefully shaking his own forehoof.

"Fer' starters, my name is Applejack! Dunno if you've caught wind of the apple family before, but if ya have, this is where we've made our home! Gosh, gonna have to introduce another new feller' to the family today..." Kas can feel his eyes spinning and bouncing around in his head, making it look like he has googly eyes as she shakes his forehoof. The poor bunny is hanging onto Kas' shaggy mane for dear life.

"I'mmm... Kasikov..." He steadies his head with his free forehoof, ceasing the rattling.

"And ah, I can't today." She frowns softly, but it is am understanding one. "I gotta help Pinkie with party shenanigans soon. Speaking of her... I think she mentioned you!"

Applejacks expression shifts to surprise. "You a brother of hers?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Nnno?"

"Cousin?"

"Nope!"

"...Uncle?"

"I don't think so!"

There is a pause.

"Secret pancake chef whom recently eacaped captivity from her nefarious bakery dungeon?" Kas asks, head tilted alightly. Applejack's eyes go wide.

"What the- what in tarnation!?"

"That one isn't true either, I just wanted to be included." She breathes a sigh of relief, then rubs her chin, eyes squinted.

"Have ya' actually been here before, an' I just never noticed ya'?"

Kas shakes his head. "Nope! First time here."

He sees the cowpony's expression brighten heavily. "Well, I'll be! Never seen any new folk manage to even get a word in with her edge wise before she throws em' a big ol' shindig!" She chuckles thoughtfully. "Usually she is zippin' off faster than a rooster in the mornin'!"

"Hehe, yeah, I can run... good." There is some chittering heard from above, as the bunny waves at Applejack. She squints again.

"Now hold on... ain't that Fluttershy's bunny...?"

"Maybe? I saw him being chased by a kitty."

"Ah, must've been ol' Whisker Webs. That feline's always stirrin' up all sortsa trouble, leerin' at townsfolk plenty, too." She sighs, shaking her head.

"Maybe he just needs a friend!"

"Mmh, maybe... anywho, yer' probably right. Too much to do to fit in another apple family tour, so we'll take a rain check on it." She tips her hat. "S'pose I'll be seein' ya around, sugarcube!"

"Until we meet again, cowpony!"

He trots off once more, content with the meeting as Applejack hooks herself back up to the wagon. All the while, the bunny on Kas' head now slumbering soundly.

"Where to now..." He ponders, walking through town when he comes across a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane, lounging on a cloud above a building. "Ooh... idea."

Sneakily, he scales the building via some careful wall jumps in an alleyway. He taps the small bunny on the head, stirring it awake. He clearly looks annoyed, but Kas whispera something up to him. He makes a fast paced chittering noise akin to laughter.

Kas leans over the roofside, elevated properly so just the bunny is visible on his head, looming over the sleeping pegasus. Both Kas and the bunny grin.

"AWAKE NOW, SMALL PEGASI. AN AVATAR OF MY BUNNY ORDER COMES TO JUDGE YOU." Kas belts the lines out in a boomig voice, trying his best to make it seem like the bunny spoke them.

The pegasus yelps, nearly falling off her cloud at the rude awakening. "Gah! It is WAY too early for me to be getting judged by avatars of bunny orders!"

"ACTUALLY IT IS LIKE FOUR IN THE AFTERNOOOOOON."

She grumbles, rubbing her eyes with her forehooves. "Way, WAY too early." Then, she narrows her eyes. "Wait a minute... Angel?"

The bunny goes pale.

"What the hay are you doing up here?!" She instantly looks over the cloud at Kas.

"Hi." Is all the grey earth pony says, caught red-hooved.

"You got 10 seconds to tell me what you're doing here, who you are, and why you have Angel." She says the words in a slow, threatening manner. Kas takes a deep breath.

"BoredsoIdecidedtoprankyoubutitdidn'tworktoowellanywayI'mKasikovnicetomeetyouandIsavedhimfromacat."

"...I understood like, half of that. And BARELY, might I add!" The pegasi exclaims, throwing her forehooves out.

"I was under pressure!" Kas stresses, frowning. "I don't do well under pressure!!!" She locks her gaze onto him, before laughing loudly.

"Pfff, okay, okay! Yeah, I believe you. You don't seem like the bunnynapping type." She leans towards him, eyes narrowed again. "Riiight?"

"The only bunnynapping that has been occurring has been on top of my head." Kas points a forehoof toward Angel, who yawned in reaponse. "He sleepy."

"Hmm, alright... name's Rainbow Dash, by the way! And I'd recommend getting that bunny to Flutters ASAP. If she realizes he's missing, she'll have a major freakout." She clicks her tongue, looking nervous. "And I'm saying this as if she doesn't know he's loose yet, because if she did, I'D know just how bad she was freaking out."

"Nod, nod." He nods. Dash points a forehoof towards the center of town.

"She should be practicing with her birds there. I'll catch you later, though... Kasikov, was it? I got some zee's to catch up on before everything starts."

"Alrighty, seeya!" He scampers down off the roof, Angel beginning to settle again. "Wonder what she meant by everything starting... ooh! That's a pretty building! Like a... like a cross between a carousel and a boutique!" He began bounding towards the lavish building... and completely forgetting what he was just told to do.