Estranged Anomalies

by Critical Crunch

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Pinkie Pie, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Profanity, Adventure
Length: 29428

It is a big world out there, in a cosmic sense. Some dimensions overlap, ending up close to one another... and sometimes things fall through the gaps. One such thing... is another Element of Laughter.

One pony can make a lot of difference in the grand scheme of things. Especially when they are also a good candidate for the Element of Laughter.

Going through the whole series, we get to see the effect the dubiously human-turned-pony, Kasikov, has on the world around him.

Being an anomaly to this universe, will he be able to fit in?

...Or will his past finally catch up to him?

Published 2021-07-20 01:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-21 21:47:56 UTC

Episode 1 - "Equestria Bound Part 2"

Kas slowly enter the boutique, eyes wide with wonder as he examines the luxurious interior. A little bell dings when the door is opened, and he hears approaching hoofsteps, a white unicorn coming into view. Angel, in the meantime, awakens with a yawn from the bell ringing effectively right on his head. Then, he sees it. The little bunny springs off Kas’ head, tackling a plush of a carrot on a nearby desk, wrestling it as if his life depended on it.

“Oh my! Now, I definitely would have remembered seeing you before!” She strides closer, observing him with intrigue. “Tell me, are you also coming in from Canterlot?”

He thinks for a moment, mostly forgetting what the forest he arrived in was called… before shaking his head. “Nah, just a bit of a wanderer. I like to mosey around, see where my feeeooves take me. Yes. The hooves which I have.”

She stares at him.

He stares back.

“Right…” The white unicorn replies slowly, attention taken by his messy appearance once again. “Goodness, you certainly have quite the scrappy look going for you… such a dark mane, though!” She pops up next to him, observing a few locks more closely. “You simply MUST tell me what kind of dye you use!”

It could have had something to do with being a human, which also explained why he was as pale as a corpse. “No dye. It just grew like this.”

“Really, that is quite a marvel. I can only imagine how gorgeous it would look with a proper style on it…” She squeals in excitement, beginning to drag Kas along with her. “I think you have enough to establish a proper braid, and I have a number of clothes that would look quite dashing with your wanderer style! I’ve always wanted to try and go for a more rugged, casual fashion!” And there she goes, barely noticing as Kas starts tumbling behind her, body going entirely limp the second she starts dragging him. “But of course, there is something to be said for ravishing, dapper attire… but what high-class folks truly are never prepared for is a lonesome drifter striding in, clad in cutthroat threads that absolutely show they mean BUSINESS!” She squeals again several sets of clothes floating all around her, surrounded in a blue glow.

Angel stares on in horror as Kas violently ragdolls on the ground behind the unicorn, like a goddamn Garry’s Mod ragdoll, complete with the horrible sound of limbs smacking against the ground. Only after toppling three tables does she take notice.

“Oh my goodness! I got carried away again, didn’t I?!” The blue glow surrounds Kas, setting him upright into a standing position, a light bounce visible as he is righted. She quickly starts to dust him off. “I am so, so, so terribly sorry, dear!”

Kas is just giggling, holding a forehoof up to stifle said giggles. “It’s fine! That was fun though, gives me an idea for later.”

She gives him a weak smile, clearly still unsure before her expression turns sadder. “Oh my Celestia... where are my manners?!” The girl looks like she might just faint from embarrassment “Let’s start over, please. My name is Rarity, I don’t believe we have had the pleasure of meeting!” A forehoof is held out, which he quickly takes with his own and gives a firm shake.

So dramatic, it was like he was watching a soap opera in person! Or ponson… “I’m Kasikov, buuut you can just call me Kas!”

She nods, ending the hoofshake, much to Kas’ relief. The guy had no idea how long that is supposed to go on for. Rarity coughs into another hoof, flushed a bit in embarrassment. “Now I know you are likely… very busy, so I’ll let you on your way.”

He shakes his head. “Not really, I like to make it up as I go to make it feel like I’m contributing!” Kas reaches out, patting her head to try and dull her embarrassment. “Hehe, it was nice to meet you, Rarity! Have a great day!”

The patting does reward him with a small smile, though it is also followed quickly by her hoof fixing the slightly messed up portion of her hair. And so, the grey pony allows Angel to hop aboard his head once again, before he resumes hopping down the road. Now, there was a bit more of a spring in his step.

Then, he freezes. His eyes are wide like saucers.

“Is that a literal treehouse? Hell, we HAVE to go there!” Angel is, admittedly, a bit curious himself. His caretaker likes to keep the socializing to a minimum, so many building interiors are foreign to him… that, and he wasn’t able to sneak into her bag the few times said caretaker went to library in the past.

Kas spots a yellow pegasi, purple unicorn, and a bipedal, purple lizard with green spikes. The bunny on his head began squeaking eagerly, jabbing a paw towards the yellow pegasus, who he now presumed to be Fluttershy.

“You got it, boss!”

The purple unicorn seemed to be coddling the purple salamander, baby talking him. “Aww, wook at dat, he’s so sweepy he can’t even keep his widdle bawance!”

“I’d kill for a nap!”

“SWEET CELESTIA!” The purple unicorn squeals at the sudden intrusion, jumping toward Fluttershy since the voice of Kas came from directly behind her. Fluttershy looked like she was trying to hide behind the equally startled limbed-snake baby.

“No, actually, it’s Kasikov.”

“How did you- WHERE did you-” She looks back at the other two, wide eyed. “Did either of you see him walk over?” They sake their heads simultaneously.

“Shh, don’t think about it too much.” Kas snickers, stepping towards Fluttershy, who shrinks behind the bipedal iguana to try and avoid Kas’ gaze… before taking a deep breath, and stepping forward, now in front said bipedal iguana. She was putting on a brave face, not wanting the youngling to face the brunt of this stressful scenario. If anything, Kas could commend the care she extended to all animal creatures. “You must be Fluttershy! I have a delivery for you.”

He bows his head forward, letting Angel bounce off him and onto the ground in front of Fluttershy, who gasps. “Angel! Did you stow away in my bag again?! Naughty bunny!”

Angel chitters and squeaks defensively, but is already being picked up by the scruff of his neck via the pegasi’s mouth. Kas grins, looking back at the purple unicorn, who is leering at him suspiciously. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“How can I not?! You- you teleported, or something? And I don’t see a horn on you, or anything…” The lavender unicorn mutters, clearly already very frazzled to begin with.

“What about this one?” Kas asks, producing a French horn seemingly out of nowhere.

“Wha… that’s… where…?” One of her eyes starts to twitch, before she violently shakes her head to snap out of her daze. The purple gecko is surrounded in a pinkish glow, before being yanked through the air towards the slowly breaking unicorn. “OKAY. It has been fun and weird, but I rreeeeally gotta go! Talktoyoulaterbutprobablynot BYE!”

And she zips into the housetree, wyrmling in tow, door slamming firmly behind her.

Kas just smiles, now alone with Fluttershy and Angel. “She seems nice.”

“Ohh, um… yeah.” She mumbles, maybe a bit unsure about that but didn’t want to be rude. He catches her looking off for a moment, noticing Angel shuffling on her back. The little bunny had cozied up with her wings like a nice, puffy blanket. She seemed reassured at the sight of the safe, slumbering bunny, with it mustering a bit of confidence in her next choice. “I’m… sorry, but I don’t think we’ve met…?”

He grins widely, offering up a forehoof. “I’m Kasikov, as you may have heard! But most folk call me Kas, aka like… one, singular folk.” He pauses. “Which has kinda began shifting to Kasi, which also is gnarly, but just Kas is fine.”

She smiles back, gently shaking his forehoof with her own. “Thank you for looking after Angel, Kasik… Kas.” Fluttershy feels her smile waver. “I know he can be a bit of a handful, but he really is just the sweetest little bunny, I swear!”

“Oh, I know!”

Fluttershy pauses. Her smile doesn’t seem to dissipate, or even falter that much, but there is a clear amount of underlying surprise. “You… know?”

“Yup! He was awesome the whole time we hung out together.”

Her smile seems to grow even bigger at that. “Oh, gosh… that’s just… that’s wonderful! He usually can be quite a handful with ponies he doesn’t know… and even other animals he doesn’t know, so…” He can see her wings almost flutter a bit, but Angel tugs on the one he is comfy under, as if someone was trying to pull his blanket away. “I guess I’m just… really pleasantly surprised by this!”

Kas laughs, nodding. “I’d have never known he was that rambunctious! Well, he did try to maim a plush carrot at the carousel that looks like a boutique.” He stops, rubbing his chin with a forehoof. “Or MAYBE it’s a boutique that looks like a carousel… I always forget which one!”

“Oh, you mean Carousel Boutique?” Fluttershy suggests, head tilted curiously.

“Sure, why not?”

Then, there is the sudden pounding of music behind the two of them, within the house tree. Fluttershy yelps, dropping to the ground and covering her hooves. Kas stares plainly. “What’s up with that?”

“So noisy… I can only assume Pinkie is throwing a party for that new pony… Twilight, I think it was? Though I think, uh, Spike deserves a party too…”

“Ooh! THAT was Twilight!” He holds up a forehoof in an ‘aha’ sort of gesture.

“Who did you think she was?”

Kas just shrugs. “I thought she was the dinosaur.”

This statement is only met with a plain stare from Fluttershy. “You mean Spike…? The baby dragon?”

He stares back at her, just as plainly as she stared at him, before realization dawns on him. “OHHH. Yeah, that makes WAY more sense. Hehe, I dunno what I was thinking.” Kas steps towards her, holding out a forehoof. “Anyway, wanna come check out this party?”

She shrinks back a bit even at just the mention of the party. “It’s, um… a bit too noisy, if that’s okay. I’ll just… wait out here.” Fluttershy is a bit relieved to see Kas nod, and stands up straight. “If you’d… if you’d want to, though, you could walk me to where we’re having the Summer Sun Celebration afterward?”

“Ooh, sure thing!” Kas chirps, having no idea what that is or where it is. But it made her happy, so he counts that as a win in his book. He then goes to try the housetree door, only to find Twilight had locked it behind her. Everyone must’ve gotten in before that happened. So, naturally, he springs up, bounding from branch to branch towards a nearby window. Fluttershy stares on with concern, eyes wide.

“What are you doing, Kas?!” She calls out… which to her credit, was louder than Kas expected it to be. Still quiet, but audible.

“Climbing this tree?”

Fluttershy stares on in confusion. “Why…?”

“Door’s locked.”

“Can’t you just knock? This seems… kind of dangerous. It’s a big tree, afterall, and, um…” She looks away, biting her lip nervously. Kas just waves a forehoof dismissively.

“WIth how loud that music is? Unlikely. Besiiiides, I do stuff like this all the time.” He slinks up further, popping a window open. “See? All good! I’ll meet up with you in a bit, Fluttershy!”

She seems to relax a bit, waving him off as he descends into the housetree, ending up in what seems to be a bedroom, of sorts.

“Cozy…” He mumbles, shutting the window behind him and quietly trotting around the interior. Lots of books, too. So, naturally, he could only presume this doubled as the town library. “Man, what kind of nerd would live here?”

Kas, goes to open the door, as it slams open, squishing him against a nearby wall as a frustrated lavender unicorn, whom he now knows as Twilight, stomps in. “Just a minute of peace, is all I ask for! JUST A MINUTE!”

The gray pony floats down toward the ground, cartoonishly flattened like a sheet of paper before he returning to normal. Despite that, he decided to just lay there. She hadn’t noticed him yet, but also said she wanted a minute of peace. So, his internal clock began to tick. Giving the mare about a minute and a half for good measure, he finally tries to break the silence as casually as he can. “Ssso.”

Twilight was nose deep in a book when she hears his voice, causing her to jolt upright and glance around the room, spotting his toppled figure by the door. “AGAIN?! I- wait… are you okay?”

He laughs it off, sitting up and rubbing his head. “Yeeah, you opened that door pretty ferociously, but I’m okay. You wanted a minute, so I didn’t want to spook you… again.” His smile fades, and is returned with a frown. “Sorry about that, force of habit. If it makes you feel better, I didn’t just pop up here, this time. I…”

Kas frowns harder, resting his chin on his forehoof as Twilight got closer, silently observing any inflicted damages while he thinks. “I, uh… climbed through the window, because the door was locked, and I helped Pinkie with this party and didn’t wanna miss it.” He looks away, feeling put on the spot for the first time today. “In hindsight, that all sounds prrett-ee bad.”

Surprisingly, Twilight seems to laugh, it looking like the first positive thing she’s expressed all day. “Sorry, I guess it is just kind of reassuring to see someone feeling as scatterbrained as I’m feeling today.”

Kas pouts, crossing his forehooves. “Hey now, that’s not fair. This is… actually, yeah. It is kind of an off day, I guess.” He shrugs, relaxing a little. “I haven’t been around peeeonies… for a while. Yeah. Ponies”

Twilight nods, turning towards her bed before stopping, still in front of him. “Ugh, I know, right?! I usually like to just keep to my studies, and work on broadening my understanding of the world! And when I FINALLY seem to come upon a shocking breakthrough, of what could result in an absolutely CALAMITY, what does the Princess do?” She throws her hooves up into the air dramatically, turning back to face him. “She basically tells me I’m fretting over nothing! That ‘I simply have to stop reading those dusty old books’, or whatever!” Twilight stomps her hooves, an eye twitching. “What, does she not trust me, or something?! Does she just call me her most ‘faithful student’ because she thinks I have an ego? I just-”

And she stops suddenly, all the anger vanishing from her eyes as she drops to the floor. “I just feel disregarded, I guess. Maybe I am just being paranoid…” The unicorn looks down at the ground, ashamed. “Sorry for just… unloading that all on you.”

Kas raises a hoof, waving it dismissively. “Your concerns are valid.”

She looks up, a bit confused.

“There is no harm in ever being cautious! Even if I don’t know most of the context… if there is a call for caution, then you should heed it! But when it devolves to paranoia, just try not to let that paranoia rule you, my friend!” He stands up, shining her a reassuring smile. “If anything… maybe she was trying to dull your concerns, in a roundabout way. By being dismissive?”

He clicks his tongue, nodding his head to the side. “Not that I personally agree with a method like that… but, yeah!” Kas holds out a forehoof towards her. “Chin up! I’m sure she doesn’t call EVERY… being she meets her most faithful students, right?”

She giggles, nodding as she takes his forehoof. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, by the way. Sorry about… messing up our first meeting, I was kind of stressed out, as you can imagine.”

“Not a problem! I’m Kasikov, but you can just call me Kas-”

-SLAM-

Kas is now a distant memory, as he is slammed into the wall by the door for the second time tonight.

“C’mon, Twilight! It’s time to watch the sunrise!” Spike calls out, beckoning for her to quickly follow him.

“Oh my gosh, Spike!” She quickly ushers the baby dragon off to the side, moving the door to reveal a crumpled Kas once more.

He is groaning, more annoyed than anything. “This biiiit… is already gettin’ old…” The gray pony sighs, rubbing his head as he bounces back to his hooves, standing upright.

“Are you okay, Kas?!”

“I’m fiiiine, Twilight. Nothin’ like a good concussion to cure interdimensional jetlag.” Kas chuckles, shaking his head softly. Twilight stares at him, still very clearly unconvinced… and also clearly a bit confused by what he said.

He stops to meet her gaze, noticing how hard she is squinting at him. Kas giggles.

He waves her off, still smiling. “Seriously, I'm good. Never better, in fact." He nods towards the door. "Now, c’mon! We got a thing to get to, and I got a pegasi to walk. And I hope we are going to the same place, cuz’ I ain’t got no sense of direction.”

She laughs again, beckoning for him to follow… with the poor dubiously-human turned pony having no idea what he had just gotten himself roped into.

Episode 2 - "Black Snooty"

“Kas-ee, you missed, like, almost ALL of Twilight’s party!” Pinkie exclaims, bouncing around Kas, all while his eyes dart around erratically, barely keeping track of her movements.

“On the contrary! Since I was keeping the guest of honor company, I think I did a pretty good job of it!” He gives her a cheesy grin, prompting Pinkie to blow a raspberry his way. He walked alongside Fluttershy, with Twilight ahead along with the other few ponies he had met, that being Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity. “Now look at us! Strutting up to the Simmer Sun Celebration with our posse! We’ll be the coolest cats outta the bag!”

“One… It’s the Summer Sun Celebration.” Twilight corrects, before looking off to the side. “And, uh, two… I don’t think that is how the saying goes.” She settles her gaze back onto him, eyebrow raised. “Three, ‘posse’?”

He ignores her last statement, grin broadening. “Pshaw, saying schmaying. So, what, we go watch the sun?”

She sighs, shaking her head before thinking on it. “I mean... kiiind of? It is more symbolic than that, though! About showing our appreciation for all the work Princess Celestia does!”

Kas nods affirmatively. “I can see why… celestial bodies must be suuuuper heavy!” She had given him a debriefing on what the duty of the Princess was, which absolutely baffled him. It made him wonder if Earth had a similar system, kept under locks by the government…

“I still can’t believe you just… didn’t know about any of that, either!” Her exclamation nearly prompts him to whistle in a very not suspicious fashion, which would inadvertently be totally suspicious. “I mean, I thought everypony was taught that in schools… at least, in Equestria, that is.”

“Ehehe… well, uh…” A bead of sweat rolls down his forehead, before a familiar, pink blur pops up between them.

The interception of Pinkie Pie lets Kas breathe a sigh of relief. Saved by the Pie. “It is a biiiig world out there, Twilight! Ya never know what folks are being taught… or not being taught, heehee!” And Twilight seems to accept that, shrugging. It was the kind of thing you dwelled on later.

Soon, Kas and the rest of the girls head up into a large crowd that has formed, with snacks and treats of all kinds littering tables. Many were standing at attention, looking off towards a regal looking balcony, fitting of this ‘Princess Celestia’ Twilight had gone on about. She still seemed quite on edge, but there wasn’t much to do about that. Fluttershy, meanwhile, was talking to him about her animals.

“And- and there is this one, rambunctious little hen named Ares, and she just causes a bunch of trouble… one time, I ended up having to care for a biiig husky named Ruth, and the poor girl was scared straight by Ares! She just had no fear, and would peck at anyone that wasn’t me or her owner… oh, but she did peck at me a few times when she first met me and…” She goes a bit pale. “Oh gosh, I’m, um, rambling about my… my animals again… I’m sorry…”

Kas reaches out and pats her on the head. “I want you to ramble about your animals to me to your heart's content!”

She pauses briefly, before a wide smile stretches across her face, and she launches straight back into her fun little stories regarding the rambunctious and cute animals she has cared for over the years.

After a few minutes, she is interrupted by a gaudy, drawn out fanfare. An aging, beige mare stepped out, proceeding to hype up the crowd, and giving Kas a touch more context. He still was having a hard time process the whole ‘Princess moving celestial bodies’ on her own, thing. He had to see this in action..

And just as she was about to be unveiled… there was silence.

Complete, and utter, silence.

“...This can’t be good.” He could hear Twilight mutter, barely audible under her breath. Other ponies begin to murmur uncertainly all around

Kas turns to Pinkie, eyebrow raised. “Soo, does this normally happen? Just surprise games of ‘Where’s Celestia’? Cuz’ unlike Waldo, I feel like she sticks out like a sore thumb. At least, based on how Twilight described her.”

Meanwhile, Pinkie just shrugs. “I dunno! I’m kinda into it, though! These old-fashioned celebrations can get just soooooooo stuffy! Good on the princess for adding a bit of mystery to this one!” She whis her gaze to Kas, grinning widely. “So! Where do you think she’s hiding? The Everfree? Sweet Apple Acres? Cloudsdale?!” She turns slowly. “Or maybe…” Pinkie then zips over and rips the tablecloth off of one of the dining tables, so perfectly that nothing had even gotten knocked off. “HERE?!”

And underneath the table, there were four dogs all playing Poker, whose eyes went wide when they were caught. Immediately, they all made a break for it. Pinkie let out a frustrated sigh. “Ugh! This is hard…”

And then, Rarity steps out from a room behind the balcony, a forlorn look on her face. “She’s gone!”

Pinkie stares, wide eyed. “Ooh, she’s good.”

Kas was too busy trying to comprehend the fact that they had Poker here, rather than be confused that dogs were the ones playing it. He thought everything was sunshine and rainbows in this place. That thought was going to be dashed away even harder once wisps of inky, dark night sky began to wisp around in a cyclone on the balcony, before a tall mare suddenly appeared. The grey pony was nodding slowly.

“Oh no… Nightmare Moon!” Kas hears Twilight whisper the name, tone seeping with horror at this realization.

“Nightmare Whoon?”

Everyone around him was stricken with fear, anger, and confusion… save for him and Pinkie.

“Oh, my beloved subjects. It’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious little sun-loving faces.” Nightmare Moon cooes, leaning forward with an intimidating sneer on her muzzle. Rainbow Dash springs into the air, looking ready to lash out.

“What did you do to our Princess?!” While Applejack is barely able to grab the rambunctious flier by the tail.

“Nngh… woah there, Nelly…”

Nightmare Moon laughs, putting on a mockingly disappointed expression. “Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don’t-”

But she is quickly interrupted, by a certain grey pony, bellowing out a compliment to reassure what he saw as a self deprecating remark. “EY! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL, MAN!”

And the alicorn pauses, staring at him in a mix of blatant confusion and surprise. “...Right. I’m… aware.” She coughs into a forehoof, resuming her frightful disposition toward the equally frightful ponies. “As I was saying… don’t you know who I am?”

Pinkie is the one to pipe up this time, waving her forehoof in the air, as if she were a student in class and Nightmare Moon were her teacher. “Ooh! Me, me, me, me! Pick me!”

One of the alicorn's eyes twitches as she realizes that some here clearly aren’t taking her seriously. “Fine. Enlighten these unfortunate souls.”

The pink pony grins widely. “I loooove guessing games! Um, Hokey Smokes!” Nightmare Moon narrows her eyes. “How about… Queen Meanie!” One of the eyes starts to twitch. “No! Black Snooty, Black Snooty-'' Applejack quickly covers her mouth with a forehoof, hardly dulling the growing rage of the alicorn.

“Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years?!” She stomps her hoof, causing the whole area to shake as her anger grows. Many ponies let out fearful yelps, shrinking back against her imposing gaze. “Did you not recall the legend?! DID YOU NOT SEE THE SIGNS?!” She knew how to get loud, and she could clearly tell that, even through the meager efforts of at least two ponies in the crowd, she was not being feared as she should’ve been.

“I did. And I know who you are.” A voice suddenly pipes up, this time able to dull the alicorn's anger, even if ever so slightly. Her gaze turns, and locks onto Twilight Sparkle. “You’re the Mare in the Moon -- Nightmare Moon!” And that revelation causes everyone to gasp. Even Pinkie, but not Kas, since he still has no idea who this lady is… but is intrigued nonetheless.

Nightmare Moon feels her sneer return, eyes narrowed this time with an almost playful demeanor. “Well well well, somepony who remembers me.” She stands up to her full height, which even Kas can admit is pretty imposing. Her gaze hardens. “Then you also know why I’m here.”

“You’re here… to… to…” Twilight gulps, wracked with nervousness. Kas feels his gaze flick back and forth between her and the alicorn, waiting for the answer.

“Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last.” Nightmare Moon laughs, darkness beginning to swirl all around her. “From this moment forth, the night will last forever!” The laugh turns into full on cackling, everyone now shrinking back in terror as the darkness begins to envelope the alicorn, thunder crashing in the background.

...and then…

...somepony dared to laugh.

Kas was having a giggle fit, which seemed to prompt Pinkie to join in. She had no idea what they were laughing about, but it felt good to join him. And all around him, others slowly felt even just the slightest bit at ease, knowing that not everypony was in mortal terror. But before Nightmare Moon could dissipate, the swirling shadows pause, parting to reveal what was once her smug expression, now faltered somewhat. “And what, pray tell, is so funny?”

“I mean-” He coughs, chuckling a bit as he wipes a tear from his eye. “That doesn’t sound that bad! Night time is awesome! I can- like, be PRODUCTIVE all the time, now!” His grin is spreading even further. “Besides! There is, like… I mean, with enough knowhow, I’m sure some magic can be harnessed in a way to remedy that. As in, we can make crops that can be cultivated by moonlight.” Kas snickers this time, doing his best to stifle his laughter. “And that- that was all just so… so comically evil. Did you rehearse that?”

He could see the faintest glimpses of an embarrassed blush on the alicorn's face.

“You did” He whispers, wide eyed before his grin broadens. “YOU TOTALLY DID!” He levels an accusatory forehoof at her.

“SILENCE!” The ground shakes again, causing everypony to resume cowering. “I shall NOT be talked to in this manner!” Her voice is laced with venom, now a deadly hiss. “And if you know what is good for you, you will never talk again... unless I decree it to be so!”

“Now you’re trying to exert your power over me? I’m- I’m like not even sure if I’m an official citizen of this country!” He waves a dismissive forehoof. “I’m not trying to even call you out! Just saying that eternal night? Not all that bad! Kinda romantic, even!”

Nightmare Moon blinks, tone shifting briefly “Romantic…?”

Twilight is the one to interrupt this time, leaning in front of Kas. “Kas! Helloooo? She is LITERALLY holding the Princess captive!” She exclaims, eyes wide with distress.

“Pff, suuure, bring THAT up.” Kas rolls his eyes, all the ponies no longer as fearful as they look between the grey pony and the imposing alicorn… who quickly regains her grit.

“You’ll all pay dearly for not taking me seriously… for I’ll ensure that not just your waking selves are shrouded in darkness… but your sleeping ones as well!” The darkness swirls with even more aggression this time, knocking back the guards that the Mayor had tried to sneak towards her. It was a futile effort, though, and the alicorn had vanished.

Rainbow Dash tried to go after her, but to no avail, she was gone without a trace. Twilight had instantly broken off into a mad dash towards the library, earning suspicious gazes from the ponies around her. Namely, a certain five who decided collectively to follow after her. Pinkie turned to her side. “Kasi! C’mon, let’s-” She flicked her gaze all around, confused. “Kasi?” Rainbow Dash darts backward, and sweeps Pinkie up in her grasp, a high pitched ‘eep!’ heard from the pink pony .

They burst into the library, finding Twilight combing through several books, and Kas sipping tea at a table. Pinkie breathes a sigh of relief. “Sheesh, don’t spook me like that, Kasi!”

“What? I wanted front row seats!” He grins, prompting Twilight to snap her gaze towards him, clearly not knowing he was already here.

“Stop doing that!” She exclaims, shaking her head. “Ugh! How am I gonna beat Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?”

Rainbow Dash looks like she is about to butt in, before Kas pops up in front of her, prompting her to crash into the grey pony and go tumbling to the ground… while Kas didn’t even budge. “Ack! Hey, what gives?!”

“So, what? Like fire, wind, water, and earth? Those are elements, right?” Kas hums, with Twilight shaking her head.

“I don’t think so… it seems more convoluted than that.” Twilight sighs, with Rainbow coming back up, glaring hard at Kas.

“Why I oughta…” A Stetson is slapped down on her head, covering her eyes by a strong, orange forehoof.

“Ease up, firecracker. We’re all a bit on edge, I reckon.” She sighs, casting her gaze back onto Twilight, slowly approaching her. “You especially, Twilight. S’pose there’s a good reason for that?”

Twilight nods weakly, clearly not too used to being put on the spot. “They’re some sort of… collection of artifacts, I think? Or other similar objects, which are mentioned in the prediction regarding Nightmare Moon as the only things that could stop her.” She drops to the floor, stressed as she puts her forehooves over her head. “But I don’t know WHAT they are, I don’t know WHERE to find them… I don’t even know what they do!”

While Twilight is having her breakdown, Pinkie beckons Kas over. “Psst, Kasi, gimmie a boost!”

“Alrighty! You are a great pony, all your friends enjoy your company, and your eyes are an awesome shade of blue!”

A light blush dusts her cheeks, before she ends up snickering softly, shaking her head. “Not that kinda boost, ya’ goof! I meeean lift me up a bit!”

“Ooh… I knew that.” He hoists her up with surprising ease, tossing the pink pony into the air.

Out of the corner of his eye, while he waits for Pinkie to fall, he hears Rarity. “Uh… dearie, what are you two doing?”

“I have no idea, hehe!” Was Kas’ relaxed reply, as he caught Pinkie… who now held a book.
“The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide!”

Twilight snapped out of it, bolting over towards Pinkie and Kas. “Where-”

“Ooh, ooh! I know this one!” Kas interjects, grinning. “It was under “E”, wasn’t it?”

Pinkie nods, grinning as she slides down Kas' back. “That’s riiiight~!”

Twilight, on the other hoof, looks beyond embarrassed at this revelation. “Oh.”

Before long, the purple unicorn launches into a lecture about the book and these elements… but Kas was hardly paying attention, if he was being brutally honest. This was all starting to get beyond weird at this point. He’d been thrown from one screwed up reality into another. A forehoof rubs at his neck absentmindedly, a frown having settled on his face. It still felt like it was there. Better part about this reality, at least, was the lack of any bindings.

He could move without restriction, and maybe that was part of what was letting him be so carefree. For once in his life, he felt like he could move without limits. In fact, even when some dark, evil princess entity was threatening them, he could still chin up about things. And hey, if he was going to be living here, he had to make sure it was safe for him and others.

They all began walking as Twilight kept on reading, trying to find the apt description provided of a foresty backdrop, which was explained as the resting place for a certain castle, which housed these elements. Only when they reached the forest did Twilight realize the name was on the next page, which the other residents knew well.

“The Everfree Forest!” They all exclaimed at once, everypony looking at Kas due to how cheerily he said it.

“Kas, er, why exactly are ya’ soundin’ so happy bout’ that fact? That forest is bad news.” Applejack squints at him, Rainbow Dash leaning forward, pressing against the cowpony's head to support herself.

“More like the worst news!”

“I just wanted to be included. Besides, it ain’t so bad!” He looks back, grinning. “You coming, Pinkie?”

She matches his grin, bouncing in place. “Yupperoni!”

But Twilight stands in front of them, an uncertain look on her face. “Not so fast. I’m glad you all wanna help, but… I’m the most informed out of all of us, and I think it might just be better to do it on my own.”

Kas waves his forehoof dismissively, realizing just how common a gesture that was becoming for him. “No way! I’ve actually been in there before, so I got some firsthand experience!” He chuckles, stepping up to her. “Besides! Even if you would rather do without company, wouldn’t you rather have the backup in case something goes wrong? Especially with an evil princess on the loose who can harness the power of the moon.” The other girls all nod in accordance with Kas’ declaration, his logic being quite sound, even Twilight couldn’t fault it.

She looks from Kas, to everyone else, and lets out an extremely long sigh. “...Fine. Kas, since you have been in here before, mind taking the lead?”

He nods, trotting on ahead, and hoping he doesn’t get questioned too heavily by the mares regarding his knowledge heading forward… and also neglects to mention his piss poor sense of direction.

Episode 3 - "A Nightmarish Confrontation"

“This place is so pretty at night!” Kas cooes, walking around with starry eyes, even spinning a few times to try and ogle at every detail. Rarity looks up with him, seeming deep in thought.

“I was initially going to say ‘creepy’, or perhaps unnerving, given how dreadful it looked from the outside, but… now that you mention it...” She clicks her tongue, nodding softly. “I can see where you are coming from. The moonlight spilling through those gaps in the leaves is… well, beautiful, for one. Additionally, as you put it, even a bit romantic!”

Rainbow Dash drifts down from above Rarity, raising an eyebrow. “And the constant shuffling in the bushes?”

The white unicorn pauses, frowning. “I suppose I could definitely do without that...”

Twilight, ignoring the prattling of the overs, peers over a ledge to try and get a better view of what they are looking for… not even hearing the crumbling of dirt and rock underneath her. Shrieks are heard all around as the group begins to tumble and slip down the toppling surface, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash quick to take to the skies.

Meanwhile, Pinkie and Kas stay free form and sprawled out as they drift down the crumbling dirt and grass, treating it as if it was just a fun slide at a playground! If fun slides had a drop over fifty-feet, that is. Kas does a quick flip off the edge, landing on an overgrown root sticking out of the crumbling surface, which bends so far it seems like it may break.. before springing back up, launching a spinning Kas into the air. Miracuously, he manages to catch Pinkie, who slides off the edge after him.

Twilight, on the other hand, is hanging on for dear life. Applejack looks like she is losing her grip on her, when Kas pipes up, hanging in the air longer than he should have. “Leave it to me, Miss Jack!”

And Applejack nods, turning back to Twilight with one, simple request. “Let go.”

Kas during his ridiculous airtime can see the look on her face, a flabbergasted one. “Are you crazy?”

“Just truuuust her, Twilight! Catching you ain’t gonna mean much if you’re a pancake at the bottom of this!” He calls out in a warning tone, with even him having his limits of how much he could play hooky with the laws of physics.

She looks up at Applejack, heart beating out of her chest, adrenaline surging… before letting go. It’d be hilarious if it just ended there, but no such chance was present with Kasikov on the scene. He swoops down, knocking his back against the cliffside and sliding along it, catching Twilight in his other foreleg. Twilight looked shocked, and frankly, very much frightened.

“You’re holding both me AND Pinkie Pie?!” She shrieks, Kas quickly landing on the overgrown root, which snaps now, with the extra weight. They are all shrieking now, but Kas and Pinkie’s are more gleeful shrieks.

“Wheeeee!” The grey and pink pony squeal at once, with Kas sliding down the cliffside atop the root, using it like a shoddy snowboard.

The three of them crash into the ground, with Kas taking the brunt of it. They all go tumbling off, with Kas and Pinkie looking at each other on the ground for but a moment... before bursting out laughing.

Twilight looked less pleased, shakily standing up and spitting a clump of grass out. “Ptoo… next time, warn me before you do something like that…”

Kas pops back up to the ground, looking toward a nearby river, where three frogs sat on lily pads in a row. They raised up white cards each, two reading 10, one reading 9.5. Kas rolls his eyes. “Everyones a critic…”

Fluttershy descends holding Rarity, and Rainbow Dash with Applejack. Rainbow is staring at Kas with big eyes, full of amazement.

“Oh.”

“My.”

“GOSH! Here I thought I’d take the case for cool rescue, but then you swoop in like whoosh... then, you like, SURF down the freakin’ cliffside while carrying TWO ponies?! Who even thinks to do something like that!” She drops with a start alongside him, staring intently. “That is some crazy upper body strength, how the hay did you do all that?”

Kas just shoots her a grin. “I’m good at improvising.”

All this banter and gushing is interrupted by the wandering group, by a loud noise.

”GWAAAR!”

All the ponies, save for one in the form of Kas, go ram rod stiff. Fluttershy looks like she might even faint, when a manticore rears its head, trudging out of a thick set of trees. Twilight takes a step backward, eyes wide and fearful.

“A manticore!”

His ears perk up at Twilights words, recollection flooding his head of the familiar sound. He bounds towards the manticore. “FLUFFY!” His call causes the manticore to falter for a moment, pawing at the ground quietly. It lets out a strained, raspy meow as Kas nears it, scritching at its cheek. Everyone else looks on, stunned.

“Hm…” He frowns, turning back. “He’s wincing… Fluttershy, can you lend a hhhhoof.” He’s getting better at it.

She nods slowly, walking over and examining the beast… only to find a thorn in its paw. Calmly, and slowly, she removes the thorn.

The manticore’s expression turns to one of fury, but it is dulled by the petting behind its ears from Kas. It instead idles to lick Fluttershy’s face. Kas perks up, giggling softly as he pats Fluffy on the head.

“Well then… onward!” Kas decrees, hopping aboard Fluffy’s back as the group soldiers on, this time into a very creepy neck of the woods Despite how frightening everything had been, with Kas leading the charge and treating everything so loosely, it was ultimately brightening everyone’s spirits. His carefree nature was different from Pinkie Pie’s, like fearlessness of the especially stupid variety.

Before everypony could even so much as shiver as the trees around them wore haunting faces, sending growls their way… the growls were drowned out by uproarious laughter. Kas wipes a tear from his eye, looking back at the others. “C’moooon, you guys really think these trees are scarier than Fluffy? They can’t even move!” He snickers, hopping off Fluffy and trotting over toward a tree. He flips out a marker that didn’t exist before, drawing angry eyebrows and an evil moustache on one. “Now THIS is scary!”

This time, the others join him and Pinkie in their laughing, with even Twilight stifling a few snickers, despite how serious she was. The pink pony perks up, a wide grin. “Ooo, ooo! This reminds me of a song Granny Pie used to sing to me!”

Everypony feels their face go pale, except Kas, who just throws a forehoof at Pinkie, which flops against her head, tumbling down it. “No time for dat’, Pinkie… we gotta save this got dang world…”

She just stares for a second, before breaking into a fit of giggles once again. The trees around them seem to shake as they all merrily walk off, seething in rage.

And next, they come upon an unruly sea serpent, or maybe it was another dragon. Kas could never tell. The creature was wailing, and lamenting. A power couple when it came to grief.

Twilight was the first to speak up, though clearly was uncertain about it. “Excuse me, sir. Why are you crying?”

“Well, I don’t know. I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this tacky little cloud of purple smoke-”

But the serpent is cut off by Kas, who peeks out from behind Twilight. “How can a cloud be ‘tacky’?”

And then Pinkie peeks out from behind him. “That’s what I was wondering, but I wasn’t gonna say somethin’ if nopony else did!”

The serpent lets out a weary sigh, pressing an arm across his head ‘woe is me’ fashion. “Purple is just a simply dreadful color! Overdone to death! The only more dreary, less creative color would have to be green, I’d say!”

Kas stares at him. In particular, his purple scales. He looks to Twilight, who clearly looked annoyed. Then he looks to Rarity, who seems to have donned a classic customer service face. “Dearie, while I may disagree with your grievances regarding certain colors… I can see clear as day what the problem is.”

The serpent parts his fingertips, gazing through them at Rarity. “You do…?”

Rarity smiles confidently. “But, of course! A magnificent moustache maiming of the highest order!”

Kas grins, reaching a forehoof out. “Nice aliteration.” And a bit confused, she bumps it with her own.

Applejack is squinting, as if trying to understand some hidden meaning about the situation. “So… yer’ bellyaching cuz’ of a piece a’ hair,” She pauses, locking her gaze with the serpent. “one that grows back pretty gosh darn fast fer’ most folks at that,” The mare clicks her tongue, getting back on track. “Got cut off.”

The serpent smooths his hair back with a hand, nodding. “Yes. Everything you just said matched up with perfect accuracy.” While the cowpony just shakes her head, tugging her stetson down as she shoots a sideglance at Rarity.

“Ah’ swear, I’ll never understand you fashionfolk.”

Rarity snickers, stepping forward towards the serpent. “Not to worry, I understand them well enough for the both of us!” She stomps her hoof, determine. “Tell me, does anyone have a sharp untensil? I have come up with the perfect solution.”

And the water begins to slow, the serpent feeling his eyes grow large again. “You haaave?” He gazes down towards his scales, a small smile forming on his face. “Well, I suppose I could-”

“Would these work?” Kas pipes up, interrupting once again as he fetches a pair of hedge trimmers out of a nearby bush. Rarity stares in silence, before shrugging.

“That’ll do.”

With a quick cut, and a bit of finesse, Rarity fastened her severed tail as a replacement for the severed moustache on the serpent, who let out a resounding ’oooooooh~!’ upon experiencing the solution. “Maybe purple isn’t so bad after all…”

Kas throws his forehooves up as the serpent lets them cross, even going as far to let them use him as a bridge. “Yay! Character development!” Pinkie squeals, bouncing along next to Kas.

Off in the distance, they finally saw it. Everypony except for Kas, that is, since he was idly kicking a rock and trying to keep up with it.

“There it is! The ruins where the elements are!” Twilight gallops off, Kas following alongside in hot pursuit of this rock. Twilight is yanked backward, Rainbow biting her tail and yanking. “Eek! Rainbow! What was that… for…” She peers into the abyss below, a broken bridge in front of her.

She flushes in embarrassment, Rainbow snickering alongside her. “Sheesh, going for the world record of cliff diving today?”

Pinkie giggles from behind, pointing a forehoof forward. “Kas-eeeeee, stop defying the laws of physics before they seek retribution on you, silly.”

Kas realized he was still kicking his rock alongside Twilight, and now ahead of Twilight, standing in the open air on nothing. “Oops.” Then, he instantly starts to fall, yelping. His tail is grabbed as well, Fluttershy straining to drag him up back onto the ground, huffing and puffing afterward. “Thanks, Miss Shy!”

She waves a forehoof dismissively, trying to catch her breath. “No… no problem.”

Pinkie, meanwhile, rubs her chin, looking into the seemingly bottomless pit. “Well… what now?” Kas springs up next to her, grinning.

“I got it! I’ll pick you up, and throw you across!”

The mare meets the crazed grin already on his face with one of her own. “Love it!”

Rainbow tries to interject, holding up a forehoof. “Uh, guys-”

“Or- OR,” Kas hums, bouncing in place. “We scavenge around here for a tree with the proper dimensions, get an oversized rubber band, and shoot ourselves across!”

Pinkie nods rapidly. “Efficent, AND practical!”

Rainbow stomps her hoof. “Guys?”

They parrot a few ideas back and forth, before Pinkie leans in, beaming in excitement. “Or! Or! Or! After you finish digging out the mine, we can smelt up the materials to create one of my party cannons! Only this one will be big enough for SEVEN ponies, and when we get blasted over there, we got a party raring to go to calm down Black Snooty! And then-”

But Pinkie is cut off, by Rainbow yelling this time. “GUYS.” The two of them stare, as she flexes her wings.

“Oh yeah…”

She rolls her eyes, dashing into the fog across the bridge.

Then, the others all stand and wait. Some sit, and Twilight gets a bit restless. “What is taking her so long… you don’t think something ambushed her, do you?”

Applejack shakes her head, looking into the fog. “Sure as sugar, ain’t nothin’ that’d stop that mare from doin’ what she wants to do. Just have faith, Twilight.”

Then, being the two closest to the edge, Kas and Twilight hear an unfamiliar voice. “It’s them, or us. Pick now…”

Hearing creepy voices making ultimatums out in the fog is bad on a good day, but Twilight seems panicked once more. “What’s taking so long, Rainbow? Don’t listen to them!”

Kas pipes up as well, leaning across the ledge so he is more audible. “Miss Dash, don’t take candy from strangers!” Twilight looks at him, a look that clearly read as her being unable to tell if he was serious or not. Kas just shrugs.

Ten more seconds go by, before Rainbow glides back in, fastening the ropes on the bridge and being met with cheerful cries from everypony. Twilight lets out a relieved sigh, while Applejack shoots her a knowing grin.

Across the bridge they go, having to depart with Fluffy since the bridge was on its last legs as it was. The ruins are… quiet. Empty, and hollow. Clearly not occupied by another being for years, decades even. But things were darker than they should have been, with a pillar of moonlight illuminating the elements.

Twilight starts forward abruptly, before stopping, examining the ground in front of her, and slowly approaching. A cliff somewhere sheds a tear, never having been prouder. The elements were up on a podium, when Twilight’s eyes went wide.

The distant sound of something splintering could be heard. Not just in the cracked, stone brick walls, but also on a more temporal and cosmic scale. Small cracks formed here and there, but this… this was something else. “Get back!” Twilight shouts, diving away from the elements as what seems to be several, minature comets shoot down from the sky, striking the spaces where the seven ponies stood, them all having narrowly dodged it thanks to Twilight’s warning.

Wisps of swirling, starry darkness spin around the elements, before Nightmare Moon appears once more, one of her eyes twitching. “I collapse a cliff, nearly killing you all… and you turn it into a JOY RIDE.” She hisses, constellations forming behind her portraying several bows and arrows, all aimed at the group.

“I injure and sic an enraged manticore upon you all… only for you to laugh it off and treat it as a mere housepet!”

She slowly starts to step forward, the building seeming to shake now.

“The living trees? MOCKED.” They can hear her teeth gritting from here. A bead of sweat rolls down Twilight’s forehead as she notices that Nightmare Moon seems even more powerful than before. Was her magic being amplified by her emotions? “That melodramatic serpent… even that physical manifestation of a worthless dream!” Rainbow clearly looked offended, opening her mouth to interject, before a glare from Applejack silences her.

“All of it! Just… brushed off. Treated as a mere joke. An opportunity,” She stomps her hooves, dust falls from the ceiling as cracks spiderweb out from where she stomps. “For BANTER?!"

She stands upright, a slightly crazed look in her eyes. “Well! You want to laugh so much? Why not let me join in!” Nightmare Moon sneers maliciously at Twilight. “Not only are your precious elements incomplete…” And then, in a surge of adrenaline, Twilight lunges forward.

“Wait, don’t-”

Twisting cyclones of inky, harnessed night sky spin down, sending shrapnel of broken elements exploding in all directions. Twilight stares onward with a broken stare, smoldering marks left where the elements once were.

Nightmare Moon leans down towards them all, smiling wickedly. “Ha. Ha. Ha..” She chuckles, locking her gaze on Kas, this time. “How about you? Anything to laugh about now, you insufferable welp?”

Kas thinks on his answer. Long, and hard… before marching up to her. “Eh, just one more.”

She leans down further, eyebrow raised. “Hmmm?”

And then, Kas clocks her in the face, snapping everypony out of their terrified trance. “Slapstick! Catch me if you can, Black Snooty!” The grey pony cartwheels away, an ear piercing shriek heard as the alicorn launches herself towards him, the pony laughing the whole way as he narrowly avoids her berserk hail of attacks.

Twilight feels like she couldn’t get more shocked, until she notices Pinkie booping her nose. “Heyo! He’s giving you your opening! I’ll help stall Queen Meanie, while you work on saving us!” She springs off, pulling a banana cream pie out of her hair and sending it sailing straight into the alicorn’s face.

Everyone forms a shield around Twilight, watching with uncertainty as the two keep the ballistic alicorn busy. Then, Rainbow Dash heads in to help, divebombing from above every so often. Then Rarity, trying to slow her down with her magic. Next, Applejack, who bucks chunks of stone and dust in the way to mess up her path. And lastly, Fluttershy, swooping down and frantically dragging anyone out of the way that is getting cornered.

It is then, that Twilight feels… proud. They all put all their faith into her, and with that, she feels a twinge of recognition.

Then, a spark.

Her glow surrounds every shard of the broken elements, and they begin to swirl around. Nightmare Moon had Kas pressed against a wall, strangling the pony via her magic when her glare flicks over. “Tch, you’d be foolish to think you can just put those back together. Are you really that desperate?” She sneers, Kas starting to go a bit blue in the face. “Should I let you fetch some glue? I’m sure your friend will hang in there…”

Twilight stares deadpan at her. “I don’t need to. Because the spirits of the elements themselves… are in this very room!” She gestures outward, her horn glowing brighter, and brighter.

“Applejack, reassuring me and saving my life with her honest heart…”

Shards begin swirling around Applejack…

“Fluttershy, displaying her compassion and kindness, helping a beast that could have easily ripped us to shreds…”

More swirl around Fluttershy this time…

“Rarity, for so freely being generous and offering up what little she had to help one in need…”

They then surround Rarity…

“Rainbow Dash, for being loyal and dedicated to her friends, even if it meant turning down a dream of hers…”

And around Rainbow…

Nightmare Moon drops Kas, looking around with wide, fearful eyes. “No… no!”

“And…” Twilight looks out, Towards Kas and Pinkie with uncertainty, but her horn glows even brighter. Cracked bits of stone are pulled off the wall, spinning around erratically, before blending with the shattered element… and surrounding Kas and Pinkie.

Necklaces form all around on everypony’s neck, all matching their cutie marks. A bead of nervous sweat rolls down the alicorn’s forehead. “That’s… six? But… but how…”

The glowing gets even brighter, Twilight illuminating the whole room and shunning any darkness away as her friends stand with her. Despite how sharp she was, Miss Sparkle didn’t catch onto what was off just yet… until she noticed just how bright her horn was getting. A flash of light explodes around her, and there sits atop her head a crown, matching her cutie mark. The wonder and confusion in her gaze is quickly shaken off, as she locks eyes with Nightmare Moon. “Well… I guess the real elements…”

The alicorn feels her gaze go icy, and somehow even more angry. “Don’t… you… DARE...”

“...were the friends we made along the way.” Twilight finishes, smirking.

With a bloodcurdling shriek, Nightmare Moon flings herself towards the group of friends, who become surrounded by a ribbon of rainbows, spearheaded by a brilliant bright light. It shoots into the air, before coming crashing down on the alicorn, intercepting her and washing away all the darkness and malice, her screams barely audible past the torrent of magic.

Light washes over the room, the seven ponies on the ground, before groggily rising up. Kas groans, rubbing his head. “Erk… third worst headache of my life…”

Twilight is once again stunned, having been stunned more times tonight than she had been in an entire month. “But… then if my element is magic, the sixth element… then what…?”

“Perceptive as always, my faithful student.” A voice hums from behind, everyone turning at once to meet the gaze of a towering alicorn. She was stark white, with a long horn, splendid wings, along with a shimmering rainbow mane that seemed to flow magically… not to mention that regal bling she was rocking.

“Princess!” All but Kas squeak, since he was still not an official citizen of this country, and didn’t recognize her as his ruler. He started the bit with Black Snooty, he’d be damned if he just gave up on it.

Oh, she was staring at him. The fact that he wasn’t fawning over her may have been a dead give away. She looks toward Twilight next. “There are supposed to be but six elements indeed, and the sixth one itself is Magic, but…” Her head nods off to the side. “For some unforseen reason… we bare not one, but two elements of laughter.”

Twilight was nodding slowly, while Kas walked off to the side, noticing something else that piqued his interest way more than whatever it was he broke this time.

“But Princess… if there was only six elements when you used them before, where did the seventh come from?” Kas hums softly as Twilight desperately tries to understand the scenario, while he helps up a blue alicorn.

“Hi miss! Are you okay?”

And just as Celestia is dwelling upon her answer to Twilight’s question, she catches the alicorn out of the corner of her eye. She looks crestfallen, turning away from her student and to the alicorn. “Princess Luna… it has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this…”

And Luna struggles to her hooves, Kas supporting her. She turns away at Celestia’s stare, seeming almost ashamed in her gaze. “Please, let us put this ceaseless fighting behind us, little sister… I miss when the two of us could rule together… as friends and siblings.”

Twilight and Rainbow seemed baffled by this. “Sister?” And Kas shoots them a weird look.

“Oh, c’mon! Celestia, Nightmare Moon? Her name is literally Luna!” He exclaims, throwing his hooves out dramatically. Pinkie shoves his head down, shushing him.

“Shh, it’s starting to get good!” She squeaks, Kas fumbling to the ground.

Tears well up in Luna’s eyes as she falls against Celestia. “Oh… I missed you so much, big sister!” She wails the words out, the aftermath of a friendship beam seeming hellbent on bringing any lingering feelings jams up to surface.

Celestia smiles, an expression that almost looks kinda odd on her, at least from Kas’ view. “I missed you to.” Pinkie is tearing up next to him, and frankly, he is almost on the verge too.

“Agh… Pinkie! Don’t cry…” And the waterworks come for him, tears streaming down his face. “Or yer’ gonna make ME cry!” Pinkie blows her nose, sniffling a little before she looks up at everypony.

“Hey… y’know what this calls for?” Kas holds his forehoof up, grinning. She snickers, pointing at him.

“A fade to black with ominous forshadowing?”

She shakes her head, grinning back. “Nope! A party!”

Later...

There is cheerful cries and music audible all around as what is the third celebration of the day rages on, with Celestia even seeming to enjoy herself quite a bit, though planned on leaving soon in order to bring Luna home, who was currently resting.

Twilight eventually manages to snatch Pinkie and Kas out of the fray, barely escaping the clutches of the party itself before she drags them all into the library interior.

“Twilight, darling, what is this all about? I should hope we don’t have to worry about Miss Luna turning into Nightmare Moon again…” Rarity sighs, taking a seat at a nearby table. Thankfully, she is reassured by Twilight shaking her head.

“No, no, no. Nothing like that. The elements should have helped purge that from her system…” Twilight replies, muttering a barely audible ‘at least, I hope so’ under her breath. “No, Princess Celestia wanted to speak with us all.”

And as if on cue, the towering alicorn steps out, looking at Kas and Pinkie. “Particularly, I would like to speak to you, Kas.”

The grey pony frowns, and though it was hard to tell, his face had gone a bit paler. “Am I in trouble?”

In another dimension...

“Whatta goddamn mess…” Cameras were flashing all around upon an empty, padded cell. There were some scuff marks and smoldering left on the ground, which was currently blocked off by small pylons.

A man stood tall, wearing a long trenchcoat, with several armored agents on his sides, the ones snapping photos wearing slightly lighter looking armor, which was colored white. All, save for the gruff looking man were bearing helmets with gas masks.

“This’d help leagues more if any of you told me a lick about the fella’ that broke outta here.” The man grumbles, a blue flash next to him this time.

“Detective Ramsal, as of right now you are on a Need To Know basis.” A gangly man with a white grunts, bearing a medallion on his neck as he locked eyes with the detective. “And what quantifies as Need To Know is at my discretion. So if this is too difficult for you-”

Ramsal feels his eye twitch at that word.

“-then we can find someone else to take on the job.”

The detective fishes a ciggirate out of his pocket, lights it, and takes a long drag. “Calm yourself, chairman. Nothing is too hard a case for me.” Smoke flows and twirls from his mouth unnaturally, creating a skull and cross bones in the air as Ramsal leans forward towards the chairman. “Now… I’d appreciate if ya’ quit sullying my crime scene. God only knows where you’ve been.”

Despite being less than pleased with this reply, that much evident on the glare that spreads across the chairmans face… he vanishes in another flash of blue.

Ramsal clicks his tongue, hands stuffed in his pockets before he turns back to the room. “Aight. Get the fuck out.” All the personell look up at once when he addresses them. “C’mon. We’ll debrief with what you found later. I need some goddamn peace to do my own lookover. Then we’ll compare notes.”

They all nod, filing out and letting the detective enter alone. He crouches down by the mark on the floor, raising his hand. A spinning circle of runes and symbols dances against his palm, growing before it shifts to settle on the mark. “Now… where’d you scurry off to...?”

And back in Equestria, but this time further away...

The Canterlot garden had a gorgeous selection of statues, which one might think difficult to enjoy when some were actually enemies of Equestria imprisoned in stone. It was a scary thing to think about, especially when you might think that maybe, just maybe, it could be you on display there, one day. Provided things went down the wrong path, or maybe you just had one bad day. Who knows.

But one such statue in particular almost seemed to be… decaying.

A crack had formed at the base of it, reaching upward.

A crack that had formed alongside several other cracks. Each harder to comprehend than the last.

And it might’ve not even been that worrying… had the crack not been on a certain creature, looking akin to a chimera, or amalgmation between other animals. One such creature known very aptly, as a Draconequus.

Author's Note

And at long last, we now break off the beaten trail.

Episode 4 - "All Work and No Play"

Kas is trotting around town, deep in thought about what he has learned thus far. Of course, he is also on the hunt for a job, since having to sleep in a tree was less than ideal. Sweet Apple Acres seemed like decent enough work... but it was far as hell, and he only has boundless energy when it is either convenient or funny.

His gaze comes to the market, settling on all sorts of shops. Ponyville had a little bit of everything, it seemed, and he wasn’t about to hang off the others all the time. He was a strong independent stallion, who didn’t need no constant reassurance from folks who perhaps could be his friends. Really, it had been a while since he’d even had a friend. He didn’t know what determined it or not. For all he knew, the seven of them were very close acquaintances.

Still… it is kinda lonely. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, or why he is even here. Sure, it was an effective place to escape to, but… what now?

“Um… mister?”

And he snaps back to attention, locking his gaze on a short, blue earth pony with a fluffy white mane. “Ya-huh?” Kas replies, the other stallion seeming a bit off put by his sudden, intense stare.

“Can I… help you?” The stallion instinctively looks away, trying to avoid Kas’ gaze.

“Oh! Nah, I was just spacing out. I don’t even have any money, hehe.” He leans against the counter, as if the two of them were old friends. “Say! You wouldn’t happen to know if any places are hiring around here… hmm?”

The stallion merchant coughs, slowly shaking his head. “Can’t say I have, mister…”

Thankfully, Kas picks up on it and finishes his sentence for him, “Kasikov! But just Kas is fine.”

And finally, the stallion seems to relax a little. “Then it’s a pleasure. The name’s Soapy Suds, but… just Soap is fine?” He grins sheepishly, trying to match Kas’ gusto, or something, as if he felt obligated to have a nickname too.

He is rewarded with a wide grin from Kas. “Soap it is! Then maybe I worded my request wrong… but, perhaps there may be a gig of sorts for some dosh? Somma’ that glint? The clinkity-clinkities? Shinies? Cash-money-”

Soap holds out a hoof, urging him to stop. “Alright, already! I, er… might be partial to some information regarding a certain sport… the good kind of sport, though! Uh, I mean, it isn’t good in… well, in the eyes of the law, but…” He gulps nervously, as Kas leans further across the counter.

“Now yer’ speaking my language. Keep talking, Sudsy.” Kas’ grin almost was a bit maniacal, now. He got a good lick in with Miss Black Snooty, but… he’d been locked up for a reason. Sure, it might’ve not been for the best reason, but he still had his vices and blatant disregard for the law.

“...Alright. South of the Everfree Forest, keep walking till’ you reach these rocky caves. You’ll meet a fella’ up there who’ll test you. But…” He coughs into a hoof, looking from side to side to make sure no one was looking. “You… you ARE willing to do whatever to make some bits, right?”

Kas shrugs. “Short of chopping off my limbs, but we’ll see where the day takes us.”

The line makes Soap grimace, but he nods. “S’pose this is for you then. I work as a… cleaner, of sorts. So, I imagine I’ll meet you down there.”

Kas was never so thankful for that wild look in his eyes until he was today. There was just something about it that let people know that he was willing to toss caution to the wind and do some morally reprehensible shit.

Still, as he trots toward the Everfree, he can’t help but dwell on what the Princess told him once again...

Yesterday...

“I’m adopted?! Oh… oh god!” Kas exclaims, forehooves held up against his face in horror.

And the library inhabitants, Celestia included, all give him a weird look. Hell, even Pinkie Pie was giving him a look of total confusion.

“...I haven’t said anything yet.” Celestia states, breaking the silence. Kas nods slowly, setting his hooves back on the floor.

“Ooh, okay. I thought you might’ve said something off camera.” Again, all blank stares, but understanding flashes on Pinkie’s face.

“Ahh, I getchu! I worry about that sometimes too… but at the same time, I’m not sure where you might have gotten Princess Celestia being your adoptive mother from.” Celestia stares on in silence as Pinkie manages to somehow understand Kas’ nonsense.

“I meant adoptive parents.” Kas reaffirms, to which Celestia nods.

“I understand, but regardless, it has nothing to do with that.” Her horn illuminates, and the necklaces that everypony used against Nightmare Moon, along with the tiara, all float up in the air surrounded by a yellow glow. “Kas… I am to understand you are a new resident to Ponyville.”

He stiffens, and he curses internally because of that fact, since she spots it instantly. “Again, you are not in trouble. I merely wish to clear some things up.”

Kas coughs, looking off to the side. Being put on the spot in the face of his lies was tough against anypony, but against their goddamn demigod Princess or whatever, he was kinda screwed. “Yeah… I don’t like to, er, talk about the details of where I was before it.” He looks up at her, his eyes almost pleading. “Everything is just… so nice here.”

Celestia nods, while the other girls look at him in slight concern at the implications of that statement. “Then am I to assume where you came from prior was a more negative place?” He nods back, Celestia then closing her eyes. “Then I hope you can find peace here in Ponyville. The details of what you left behind you are not relevant, at least not at the moment.” And her gaze opens again, settling back on Kas as his necklace floats above him. “It goes without saying, after gaining everypony’s side of the story… that both you and Pinkie Pie are elements of laughter.”

He tilts his head. “Is that what that was?”

“Indeed, and when I had used them against my sister all those years ago… there were only five. Even my power couldn’t bring the sixth element present, and until I understand where this duplicate element came from… I’d ask that you live in Ponyville for the time.” Kas is fine with this result, so, he nods in agreement. “Excellent. I can provide proper lodging for you with-”

“Wait!” She pauses, looking down at him with slight surprise. “That won’t be necessary. I can take care of it myself, I swear.”

The two have a stare down for what feels like hours, Twilight flicking her gaze nervously between the two. Soon, Celestia smiles, shrugging. “Very well then. I wish you luck on your endeavors.” And with that, she heads out, presumably having already spoken with anyone else beforehoof.

Kas stands tall, looking out a nearby window. Pinkie pops up alongside him, staring at the spaced out earth pony. "So! Whatcha' gonna do now, Kasi?"

Rubbing his chin, he shrugs. "Dunno, but I'll figure it out. Can't be baking, due to my pyro...technical reaction to kitchens." The response, though expected, makes her pout.

"I could still fireproof stuff, y'know... most of it already is fireproof for when Rainbow helps me bake!" And he can hear Rainbow choke in the background, glaring at Pinkie.

"You said we'd NEVER mention that again!"

But her ire is merely met with a smug grin from Pinkie. "Teehee, I didn't mention anything, Dashie! That, would be yoooou~!" Rainbow flinches, looking off to the side and grumbling. Kas just snickers at the display. It was... nice. Being around folk so lighthearted. He got lucky with some of his guard rotations, at times, but they all treated him the same way in the end.

As a prisoner. One to be scorned, ridiculed, and insulted. Pinkie must have noticed the faltering smile on his face, booping him on the nose. His face crinkles as he looks back at her.

"You looked sad! Chin up! You'll find an amazerific job in no time, I'm sure!"

His smile comes back. Never false. Just... sometimes present for different reasons. That was the true dichotomy between the two Element's of Laughter. That laughter had a tendency to come from strange places, at times.

"Hmm, I got a few ideas, that's for sure..."

Back in the Present...

He didn’t exactly know why he had to stay in Ponyville. Maybe Celestia didn’t trust him? Or maybe she needed him for those elements to work again? Could be both.

Man, he gets the idea that the girls would have been pretty upset if they found out he slept outside. Thankfully, enough food and drink had been present at the celebrations. Still... it brought a smile to his face to have folk that cared about him again. But it was gonna be tough to get used to.

Before long, he was walking through a break in the trees, his walk through the Everfree Forest brief and uninterrupted. He bumped into Fluffy once more, and gave the manticore some quality belly rubs and head pats.

As Kas nears a particularly seedy cave entrance, which Soap described as such in his own words, with many other unclean descriptors. Literally unclean. There was what seemed to be a bipedal dog. He was quite bulky, and stood about three feet taller than Kas.

“Where you headed.” The dog merely grunts, as Kas looks up at him in wonder.

Kas, to his credit, works to match the grit of the hound. “Fella’ told me there were bits to be earned here for the morally questionable and the desperate.” He flashes a toothy grin. “Don’t s’pose I’m in the right place, hmmm?”

He earns a small grin back from the dog, who sets his arms down at his side. “Depends. You got the hooves for it?”

Kas counters back with, “Let’s just say these hooves are rated 'E' for everyone.”

The dog snorts, holding out a paw towards Kas. “You’re funny, but I’ll be the judge of that. Call me Bronze, everyone does.” And Kas shakes his paw with a hoof, smirking.

“Kasikov, but just Kas is fine.”

The dog seems to raise an eyebrow at that. “You from Stalliongrad? Ain’t often we get folks from there.” Kas silently shakes his head, once again staring at the dog with interest. Bronze chuckles. “What? Never seen a diamond dog before?”

“Never. I lived a very sheltered life.”

Bronze clicks his tongue, tilting his neck to the side with a series of resounding cracks. “Don’t I know that feelin'.” He cracks his knuckles, gaze flicking back down towards Kas. “Enough reminiscing though. Time for chit-chat has ceased. Ready for your entrance exam?”

Kas mulls over what he is getting himself into… for about three seconds, before nodding instantly.

“Then show me what ya’ got, little pony.”

Bronze lunges forward, paw curling into a fist that he pulls back, launching forward before Kas can really process what this exam would entail. All the stretching should’ve been a dead giveaway. He sails backward, before immediately righting himself and skidding back on the ground.

Okay, he could tango with this. Kas wipes a bit of blood drawn from his chin before galloping forward, a spring in his step. Bronze stands tall, raising a knee to try and catch Kas. But Kas is a bit faster than he expected. Kas launches himself off the ground to make up for the height difference between him and the diamond dog, smashing his skull against the other’s. Bronze hisses in pain, backhanding Kas off to the side as his other paw goes up to his head to observe the damage.

Kas spins midair, landing on his feet as bruises start to form on his face. Bronze is weaving towards him without missing a beat, gaze hard and menacing. He swoops his arms down, attempting to catch Kas, but the pony throws him off guard by jumping at him once more. With his forehooves thrown up into the air, Bronze definitely catches him, but the point was to catch him by the waist, not the chest. With his forelegs free, Kas sends a haymaker crashing into Bronze’s jaw, and then several more as he locks his legs around the diamond dog’s chest.

Bronze reels his head back, before sending it crashing forward, colliding forcefully with Kas and weakening his grip. Then, Kas feels a spiking pain as teeth sink into his neck, further weakening his grasp before he is thrown several feet away, onto the ground. To Kas’ credit once more, he rights himself in seconds, ignoring his new wound and making a beeline for Bronze, a quick sucker punch catches the panting diamond dog off guard, making him buckle. Kas springs backward this time, nimbly dodging an oncoming headbutt. This time, Bronze smirks at him, standing upright and wiping blood from his jaw, belonging to both Kas and him.

“Not bad, pal. Not bad at all. Gave as good as you got. Lotsa neat tricks up your sleeves. Never seen a pony move like that before.” He cracks his neck, sighing at the feeling. “A lot hardier than you look, gotta say that much. Don’t see many ponies with a build like you get up after hard hits like that a lot.”

Kas grunts, wiping blood off his neck with a forehoof. “Thanks.” His gaze locks back onto Bronze, who is shuffling through his vest. “So… we good?”

And Bronze hands him a laminated card, with reads the words ‘Southstone Brawl Pit’, with it bearing several blood splatters and a red fist. “Think you’ll fit right in.” Are Bronze’s words as he waves Kas off, who grins in response.

As he walks in, he stops, casting a gaze towards Bronze. “You here all day?”

The diamond dog shakes his head. “Nope. I sub out shifts. I’m here for the day, a fella’ is here for the night. Unless we need more security, then I go wherever the hell they put me.”

Kas nods silently, smiling at him. “Cool. Maybe catch me in there when you’re off. We can do lunch, or something.” Bronze looks at him all shifty-eyed now, head tilted.

“Any reason why?”

And Kas shrugs, but it is a well-meaning one. “Maybe I just can appreciate a good right hook?”

Bronze stares at him, before cracking a wide smile and snickering. “Think you must be one of the few that has complimented me on kicking the shit outta them without it bein’... one-sided as all hell.” Kas stares at him expectantly, eyebrow raised. “Yeah, sure pal. Try not to die before I find ya’, dining with a corpse probably won’t be all that entertainin’, ya feel me?”

Kas just giggles, nodding as he trots off through the cave. For a bit, it is kinda dark, but then the walls become illuminated with torches of all colors. Blue, green, pink, red. Then, he comes upon a wide open room, a massive pit in the center and seats all around the elevated portion of it. There are shoddy doors leading off to other rooms in the back, and dining area and a bar… it is seedy, but also pretty damn fresh. He was just planning to take Bronze out to Ponyville, but this is way more convenient

He gazes down into the pit, watching what looked like a gryphon and some bug-like creature duke it out, dried blood staining the floor of the pit. In a nearby cabinet was some of Soap’s stock.

Kas feels his smile become more malicious, as he feels his face. Hardly even sore anymore. Then, he touches his neck, with the wound having become much more shallow than it once was.

Being a good fighter could be a small hurdle… but he had other strengths too.

Episode 5 - "Grit n' Gold"

The lights shone down on Kas as the doors part, nearly blinding him. He ignores it, stepping into the pit for his first fight. The paperwork was honestly the toughest part. Half the shit he couldn’t even fill in, and he thought it might get him rejected. No next of kin, no residence, no past experience. Seems they were used to it, though, because the secretary or whoever didn’t give a damn.

Then, a nasally voice blares overhead.

“Hey, hey! Wusss’ happenin’ Southstone Brawl Pit?! It’s ya’ main man, Wizzow, and... you guys... you aren’t here to see a BRAWL, are ya’?!”

There are some muffled cries of agreement from the crowd, before tutting is heard from the speakers.

“Sorry folks! Didn’t quite catch that one...”

This time, there are much more resounding yells of ‘YEAH!’ and stomping of feet, hooves and appendages alike from the audience.

“Well goddamn! Let’s get started, then?!” Wizzow pauses for dramatic effect. “We got an up an’ comer over here, folks! Rookie stuff, that’s for sure. Toootal nobody. Scrappy looking… but apparently he gave ol’ Bronze a run for his money, so who knows what could happen… give it up for Kasikov!”

Kas gazes up at the bleachers, seeing a few impressed expressions, and even some of interest. Apparently his brawl with Bronze had been monitored. It made sense, at least to him it did. Security detail, and all that.

“And for his opponent, another newcomer… the burly, the bulky, and a veteran guard of Canterlot for 10 years before being…” The announcer coughs, “’dishonorably discharged’... iiiiiit’s Brass Tacks!”

A large, greying pegasus stood before him, his mane short and sort of scraggly, being a faded blue. He had a scar over his left eye and everything. Quite rugged and menacing. Brass Tacks clicks his tongue. “You should take off while ya’ can, bucko. I play fer’ keeps.”

Kas takes the veterans warning with a grain of salt, shooting him a wide grin. “I think you’ll find that I’m full of surprises.”

The announcer pipes up, the doors shutting behind the two fighters. “We go on three…”

“One…”

“Two!”

Kas flinches as he sees Brass break into a full gallop towards him. Notably, the announcer had stopped counting. “Son of a bitch…” He begins to dodge to the right, but is caught by a buck against his side from Brass, who had spun around much faster than he had anticipated. He felt himself get launched into a nearby wall with a loud crack, collapsing onto the ground.

“The ol’ ‘go on two’ trick claims another victim, it seems! Could this be a one hit knockout…?” The announcer cries out, much to his dismay. Grumbling, the earth pony rubs his head.

“Dammit, I’m gonna have a headache later.” He rises to his feet, barely dodging in time to avoid a right hook from Brass. Kas grits his teeth, lunching forward and sending his hoof flying into the meaty throat of the pegasi, causing him to choke and sputter at the surprising force behind the blow. Kas springs upward, grabbing Brass by the head next to deliver a rough knee into the side of his jaw… before he notices himself being lifted off the ground.

A sharp intake of breath is heard from the surprised Kas, Brass yanking him into the air, wings beating loudly as he goes up several feet… and then goes crashing down, slamming Kas into the pits floor. Kas gasps in pain, hearing a crunch or two from some presumably broken ribs. Add another one to that list when Brass stomps on his chest. He rolls backward, despite the overwhelming pain, and bucks both of his legs into Brass' torso, sending him sailing back.

Panting by now, Kas rises back to his hooves, the crowd in the bleachers cheering at his tenacity. Brass coughs up a bit of blood, glaring. “Kid, stay fuckin’ down, why don’t ya? Are you TRYIN’ to make me kill you?”

Kas chuckles darkly, ignoring that searing feeling in his chest as he approaches Brass. “Nah, nah…” He spots the wings of his opponent twitch, and he immediately springs into the air. He catches the pegasi, delivering a sharp headbutt against him before repeated blows to the stomach as the two go down once more. This time, Brass breaks his fall, which was a fun change of pace.

Being stuck under Kas, Brass retaliates with a headbutt of his own, desperate to break free from the pin. Kas, like with most other blows, takes the attack in stride, cringing from the growing pain in his head. He holds the stallion down with one hoof, laying into him with the other… before he is bucked hard in the chest once more, sent crashing against a wall again. “Getting… real tired of that.”

He’s coughing blood up too, now. Worse, if some ribs weren’t broken before, they definitely were now. Brass stumbles to his hooves, with Kas’ feeling his vision start to blur at this point. But it abruptly clears, and she shakes his head. He strides over towards Brass, who tries to take a defensive position. He even ducks this time, expecting Kas to jump like he usually does. Unfortunately, Kas expected, and was banking on such a choice.

Kas bashes his shoulder into the side of his opponent, body checking him into the nearest wall and using his lowered stance against him to make up for the weight difference. There is a loud thud, and Brass tries to recover from his daze, but finds his head being held in place. Kas tightens the grip his hooves have on the pegasi’s head, and bashes it right back against the wall with a gritty thunk.

Brass Tacks spends his last moments of consciousness thinking that, ‘hey, this wall thing ain’t so bad after all…’ before his eyes roll backward, and he collapses into a heap.

With his opponent felled, Kas stumbles backward, spitting some blood off to the side. He looks up to the waiting crowd, and shoots them a toothy grin. They roar in approval, whistles heard. It was a small crowd, as is custom for newcomer fights, but he reveled in the attention nonetheless.

“Well, I’ll be! The underdog Kas comes out on top! S’pose I just lost a bet…” The announcer chuckles, a bell sounding as Kas’ door opens back up, as does a door on the other side of it with a stairway leading up. “The winner is... Kasikov!”

Reclining at a table, Kas took a swish of some hard cider. Quite tangy, and likely potent... but he seemed pretty immune to the effects of alcohol. A lot of drugs, at that. Which sucked, because it meant the painkillers he was offered after the match were totally useless. Every strength has got its weaknesses.

"Only know what I heard... but damn, if what I heard don't make for a good fuckin' story." Bronze chimes in, taking a swig of his own drink. Just some ice water, says it keeps him fresh. "And lookat' ya, hardly a scratch!"

Kas looks down, noticing the bruises all along his frame which had dulled in color. The bite marks from earlier weren't even visible anymore. "Heh, I find laughter is usually the best medicine for pain. Of course... I was a bit off my game, since I figured I might get hauled out for that for it maybe seeming like I got a concussion?"

The diamond dog across from him shakes his head, snickering. "Fella', unless you are full on tapping out, ain't no one gonna get in there and try and yank you out." He reaches down, taking a bite of a sandwich. "Mmfh, fink' dey don't efen care if ya bring weaponsh in." Kas snickers at the garbled words due to the gobbled sandwich his friend was snacking on.

Kas proudly pounds a hoof against his chest. "Not necessary! I AM a weapon!" And he and Bronze have a good laugh about that, while another pony approaches their table.

"Hey, hey! Room for one more, slugger?" Kas looks up, seeing a blue unicorn with a frazzled yellow mane riddled with electric blue highlights. He was rocking a pair of dark, spiffy aviators, with his cutie mark being a megaphone enveloped in a flame.

It takes Kas a second to pin the energetic voice. "Wizzo! The more the merrier, c'mon in!" A chair nearby is enveloped in a yellow glow, spinning across the floor towards Wizzo. Of course, someone else was about to use this chair, who immediately fall to the ground. Wizzo plops against the chair, grinning over at Kas.

"Don't mind if I do!" A griffon waitress passes by, Wizzo leaning back in the chair to address her. "Ey', doll, mind getting me a martini? Ya' boy is gettin' dehydrated watching a tall glass of water like yourself walking around." The waitress looks like making an attempt at hiding a blush. Bronze just facepaws at the embarrassing display, while Kas laughs.

"Fuckin' hell, and to think I was almost enjoying your company for a second." Bronze grunts, taking a small sip from his glass. Wizzo raises an eyebrow, slipping the waitress a generous tip.

"Jelly? Ey, don't worry pal, sure someone will throw you a bone someday." Kas sees one of Bronze's eyes twitch at the 'bone' comment. Before Bronze can retort, Wizzo flicks his gaze back over to Kas. "So! Newblood, heard you are fresh outta' Ponyville? Never would've expected we'd get any more folk outta there! Most of em' are softies." He snickers, holding a hoof to his mouth to stifle his laugh, "thinkin this economy and shit runs on smiles and rainbows. Nah, us folks down here are what keep the above afloat, ya feel me?"

And a paw from Bronze reaches out, shoving Wizzo's head down, the dog growling. "And THIS is why yer' special talent is mouthing off, and not fuckin' economics." He looks over toward Kas, clearly irritated. "Kid, try ta' ignore a solid seventy-five percent of the horseshit this yahoo spews." Kas nods, smiling politely as the two have their back and forth. Wizzo shoves his hoof back, clicking his tongue.

"Aha! The guard dog is gonna tell me what's what, eh?"

"Repeat that again, will ya? Stomach growled a little too loud. Bein' around prey does that."

"Oh, again with the carnivorous routine! The only thing relating to 'carn's about you, is the fact that you belong inna carnival itself, ya bloody clown!"

"That was SUCH a stretch! An' not even a good one! Why not use yer' fancy magic to reach a bit further next time?"

"Shut it, you mangy mutt!"

"Yer' the one that should shut it, ya fuckin' over glorified grazer!" He looks over toward Kas. "No offense."

But Kas just laughs, shaking his head. "I like you two." Bronze feels his gaze harden, before snickering a bit himself. All the anger deflates from Wizzo, who just laughs as well.

"Lookat' us, tryin' to make a good first impression, and we are goin' at it like an old married couple." Bronze chuckles, shaking his head dismissively. Kas stares at them in silence.

"Wait, you two aren't married?" Bronze chokes on the bite he just took of his sandwich, while Wizzo is sputtering like a dying engine.

"Wha- I- of course not!"

"Ridiculous! Unlike Fido over here, I got taste!"

"Fuckin' impossible, you hit on anythin' with a pulse."

"Yeah, well...! You WISH we were married!"

"Tch, yeah! Maybe if I was the one down in the pit suffering daily concussions, ya' might start lookin' pretty!"

"Oh really? I think a bit of a beatdown could do WONDERS for your complexion, actually! Y'know... not like it can get any worse, right?"

But the squabbling is interrupted by an especially large diamond dog tapping Wizzo on the shoulder. The three all look over towards him. He is flanked by two other diamond dogs, all nearly as big. "Buddy... yer' in my chair. Magic it back over, or I get to rip yer' horn off and do it myself."

He was quite deadpan. He probably thought it made him scarier. Kas is all too eager to help, though, popping in front of the dog before Wizzo or Bronze can get a word in. "Hi! Want my chair?"

The dog clicks his teeth, narrowing his eyes down at Kas. "No, I want my chair. Now move along, pony. Kas just frowns.

"Shoot, diplomacy didn't work. Let's see..." He pulls a book out of seemingly nowhere, which reads "How Luigi Saved the World With Friendship". A small 'ohh' is heard from him. He tosses the book behind his head, and turns away from the diamond dog. Thinking himself free to keep intimidating Wizzo, he focuses back on the unicorn, only for his vision to instantly go black as he feels the crunch of a chair over his head.

Kas looks down, unceremoniously at the fallen diamond dog and his obliterated chair. He then looks up toward the other two diamond dogs, along with Bronze and Wizzo. Wizzo grins, and overturns their table to make cover. Bronze throws his arms up in the air, clearly distraught about his sandwich he had been eating. He takes it out on one of the now advancing diamond dogs, power slamming them with a powerful paw to the face.

Wizzo sends the table skidding across the floor towards the other diamond dog, who quickly makes an effort to vault over it.

Unfortunately, he is caught midair by a cartwheeling Kas, who tangles himself around the canine and latches onto him like a sloth. The sudden weight and rigid nature of Kas' position brings them both crashing to the ground, Kas twisting them around so the diamond dog took the brunt of the impact. Dazed, the dog shakes his head to try and recuperate, only to shake headfirst into Kas. A firm headbutt sends him down for the count, the grey earth pony rising up triumphantly.

The last diamond dog scampers to his feet, backpedaling away from Bronze, but feels himself pressed against a solid surface. He turns, eyes wide as he sees the table held aloft in the air in a golden glow, courtesy of Wizzo ferrying him towards a very agitated Bronze. There is the loud crunching of wood as the strike from Bronze sends the aggressor soaring through the now wrecked table, splinters of wood crumbling onto the ground, along with his unconscious form.

Wizzo, Kas, and Bronze all stare down at the downed diamond dogs in silence, before Wizzo nods affirmatively.

"Good show, folks! Nice on getting that one with a chair before stuff got outta hand." Wizzo grins, while Bronze just sighs.

"Speak fer' yaself, I'm the one that has to drag these fools out!" He scratches his chin, smirking. "Had a feeling I'd have to thrash em' anyway, though. They were harassing staff earlier, so... the help is appreciated. It'll be chill to get to sleep on less bruises."

Kas wipes from sweat from his brow, looking towards his dining mates with a smile. "No problem! Buuut, on that note! I should go house hunting!" Wizzo cocks his head at that.

"One fight and ya got enough for housing? Shee-eesh, how cheap has Ponyville gotten?"

"Oh, no! I did the one that says 'Lifetime Contract' since that one said it gave the most money."

Bronze and Wizzo stare at him in complete, and utter, silence. Kas frowns.

"Why, is that bad?"

Author's Note

Fun bit of lore. The original title for this episode was "Gritty Bits", but then I quickly realized it sounded gross and awful so it got reworked.

Episode 6 - "Peace and Quiet"

In a long line of screwups, Kas was at a loss. Just a little bit! He was sleuthing around town, checking everything out in depth as best he could. Every available building, every active business, any gaps he could fill to make him seem less obvious as he was now. There weren’t many monochromatic earth ponies around here… and even less that were Elements of Harmony. He didn’t even know how widespread that information was, but it was pretty much the exact thing he DIDN’T want to happen!

He’d been caught in this haze of friendship and magic so far that he had kinda forgotten about his past circumstances. Some folks just don’t know when to let something go, after all. And they believed that he belonged to them.

His eyes twitches. This place was dangerous, and he was dangerous for this place. Sure, it had its fair share of illegal activity, and he found that brawling pit easily enough… but even that was pedestrian. He’d looked around a bit more when he was leaving, and apparently other places like that one were pretty far spread across the world, which he now knew as Equus. He thought that was funny. Imagine if you called a place Huum, or something. Better than dirt.

He needed to focus. “Okay. The others had shops. Pinkie had Sugarcube Corner, Rarity had the place with the clothes, Applejack sold apples, Twilight… might sell books? And, uh,” He stops, spacing out. “Rainbow probably takes bribes to make weather better at certain places, I dunno. Does that count? And Fluttershy, um… no, she definitely doesn’t sell animals. Fuck.” Kas began softly banging his head against a nearby tree. “Four outta two… ain’t bad…”

“S’cuse me, mister…? Are you okay?”

Kas stops mid head bang, looking over to the side. He squints, not seeing the source of the voice.

“Ah-hem. Down here.” And he looks down, spotting a yellow filly with poofy red hair and a bow.

“Oh! Hi. I’m okay, this is just how I think.” He chuckles, rubbing the growing bruise on his forehead.

“Okay…? Also, ah’ve never seen you around before, who’re you?” She leans around, trying to look at his side for some reason. She was trying to be subtle about it, and failing.

He stands tall and proud. “I’m-” before wincing at the sudden pain he had just inflicted on his head, “Ow. Kasikov.” The stallion rubs his head again. “But just Kas is fine.”

“Uh huh… well, nice ta’ meet ya, Kas! Ah’m-” And he holds out a hoof.

“WAIT! Don’t tell me.” He rubs his chin with a forehoof, staring intently at her. “Apple Biscuit.”

“Nope, thas’ mah great uncle.”

“Caramel Apple?”

“Nah, thas’ mah cousin.”

“...Apple Cake?”

“Hah! He an’ Granny still ain’t on speakin’ terms after last reunion!”

“Apple… Apple?”

She stares at him silently for a second, squinting. “I don’t think that’s anypony.” The filly huffs. “It’s Applebloom! How’d’ja know I was an apple, but not WHICH apple?”

Kas snickers, holding a hoof up defensively. “To be fair, there are a lot. You just proved that.” He then baps her on the noggin gently. “Also, you got that distinct apple smell to you. Like Applejack! And I didn’t even know apples could smell that obvious until I met someone that worked on an apple farm!”

Applebloom stares at him in silence, as if finding a hard time telling whether he was telling an elaborate joke or not. “Yer’ serious, aren’t ya? I don’t… can other ponies smell that?!”

To her relief, he shakes his head. “Probably not. I can smell lots of things other ponies can’t. Like colors!” He takes a sharp whiff near the tree. “To no ones surprise, trees smell like chocolate.” Then he frowns. “They do not taste like chocolate.”

Trying to save herself from having her brain reset more from the conversation, Applebloom shakes her head to speed reset it herself. “Anyway! Ya’ know mah sister? That’s nice! Are ya’ll friends?”

Kas continues to smile, shrugging. “I dunno! Probably not!” She stares at him once again, leading his smile to falter a bit. “Am I that hard to talk with?”

Her eyes go wide, and she shakes her head. “No, no! That ain’t it!”

Now it is Kas’ turn to have his eyes go wide, and he shakes his head as well. “Shoot! That was supposed to be one of my thoughts! I’m… bad at keeping those as thoughts. I’m sorry.”

She relaxes a little. “Ah, I get that… s’pose I was just confused is all. Ah’m sure she’d be friends with ya, though! Ya remind me of Pinkie Pie, a bit!”

That makes his smile return to its proper state once again. It was nice to know he wasn’t a total outcast for once.

“Say… what's yer cutie mark for?”

“Hm?”

She points a hoof towards his flank, where the three happy theatre masks sit, leaned up against that ribbon.

“Ohh, that..” He totally blanked. What WAS it for? What did it mean?

Applebloom squinted a bit. “D’you make masks, or somethin’?”

The inaudible ding of a lightbulb flashing above his head echoed in his ears. “Yes. Yes! That is exactly what I do! And I was about to see about purchasing a shop so I could start selling my many masks to the masses of Ponyville!”

Of course, Kas wasn’t aware that cutie marks sometimes could have more subtle meanings, or even multiple meanings at once. But he had a theme, and by god if he wouldn’t run with it right now.

“Ooh, that sounds AWESOME! Rooty Banks is lookin’ for a good buyer fer’ her store, got two floors and everythin’! I know her, so… maybe if I go with ya the deal would be better?”

“As good an idea as any, chum!” He gestures ahead. “Lead the way.” While the filly giggles at the strange stallions antics, leading him onward through Ponyville over toward a building with a bit of a plain look to it, and cosmetic roots jutting out of the sides. At least the name had some kick to it, ‘The Root Stop’.

The two enter to find a earth pony mare across a counter, who seems to be tying off some bags full of what Kas can only presume to be roots. Probably alchemy related stuff. Or essential oils. He can’t tell which is worse.

“Howdy, Miss Banks!” The mare jolts at the sudden, loud greeting from Applebloom. A slightly panicked looked is seen when she looks out across the room, but it softens when settling on Applebloom.

“Oh… Applebloom, you were the last pony I was expecting today, ahaha.” She looks up behind her, stiffening visibly when she realized the filly was not alone. “Who… is this?”

Kas holds up a hoof, but Applebloom jabs a hoof of her own against his chest. “Ah’ got this.” He gives a firm nod, with a small ‘You got it, boss.’ She clears her throat, looking up at Rooty Banks. “Mah’ friend here would like ta’ speak with ya about purchasin’ this estate.” Applebloom hardly could get through the sentence before the mare was bounding over the counter and shoving forms against Kas. Applebloom blinks. “Wait- just like that?”

Rooty nods quickly, with Kas wasting no time in scribbling his signature down on several of the forms, nodding slowly. “Ahaha, yup!!! I like to keep stuff simple. All further payments and such go to Mayor Mare, of course… but the sooner I finish up here the sooner I can… expand elsewhere, right?” Applebloom gives her a suspicious look, which Rooty looks like she may crack under any second… but is saved by the intrusion of Kas as he passes the forms back to her, along with a pouch full of bits.

“There we are! Pleasant doing business with you! Or, does it count as ending business? Since this was your shop.” Kas tilts his head in thought, looking up at the ceiling.

Rooty just laughs, grabbing up her bags and scampering over towards the door. “Who knows! And who cares, ahaha.” Her smile falters a little when she passes by Kas, with her whispering something to him as she passes. ”I’m sorry.” And just like that, she was gone.

“Huh… she seemed nice.” Is the simple reply from Kas, who smiles softly at the vacant shop.

“More like nervous. Way more so than usual, an’ she is a nervous pony.” Applebloom shrugs, before looking up at Kas. “What now?”

That was a good question. An excellent one in fact. He did that thing where he does stuff on a whim and he proceeds to not at all think about the downsides of that. “Uhh…” And that was nearly all his money from his last match! This place had been cheap, by housing standards if conversions from bits to dollars was anything as realistic as what he was thinking. He barely had enough for food, and thank god most of the water around here was clean. “...the library.”

He walked up to the counter, pulling off a keyring the mare had left for him, and stashing it away. Where it was stashed? Who knows. The filly looks up at him inquisitively. “What fer’?”

“Well, I’m gonna have to do some studying up on financing, and stuff…” Stuff that included mask making, but she didn’t have to know that.

As the two of them leave the building, Kas locking it behind him, Applebloom scrapes her hoof against the ground. “Seems like ya’ got a lot ta’ do before ya’ do much of anythin’... when you DO start doin’ things though, come find me! I’ll be out with the others crusadin’...” She gasps, bouncing in place. “Ooh! I didn’t tell y’all about the crusaders! I’ll introduce em’ to ya later! See ya, Mister Kas!” And with that, she prances off, with the same speed and energy as someone that had forgotten about a prior engagement and had gotten easily distracted. He would know, since it was pretty much a constant looming threat in his day to day life.

He smiled fondly as the filly bounded off, before bounding off himself toward Golden Oaks Library, slamming the door open and causing Spike and Twilight inside to jump in fear. “TWILIGHT! We have an EMERGENCY of the highest order!”

She immediately stands at attention, defensive. “What is it, Kas?! Timberwolves? Cockatrices? ...Manticores?! I know most of those usually stay in the forest, but I was combing through the archives and they have been known to delve into here when food is scarce or they just get plain unlucky out there in the wild, and-”

“NO.” She winces, shrinking back a little in fear at his loud proclamation. “I REQUIRE… KNOWLEDGE.”

And her smile grew three sizes that day.

Cozied up in a corner of the library, he had multiple books stacked up next to him. Stuff on being an entrepreneur, the value of bits, financing, proper bill management in Ponyville, mask construction, all sorts of things. He’d been meticulously combing through the books, eyes sliding back and forth across the lines as he gathered all he could from them. In the meantime, whenever Twilight spared a glance over toward him, she always felt herself being awed.

“I really can never figure you out… I actually thought it might be impossible for you to stand still at some point, yet here you are!” She exclaims, snickering softly. He looks up at her, amused.

“Technically, I’m sitting.” The response makes her roll her eyes, slapping a hoof against the open air dismissively.

“Still. I’m impressed to see just how committed you are to this. Even I’m not sure how willing I’d be to part with any of my books…” She shuddered, as if feared by the thought of selling even one of them. Damn, guess he was wrong on that front. “...Though I could always cast a duplication spell on them. Does that count as plagiarism? Shoot, I should look into that.” Then, of course, she goes and does that. With her now combing through a separate part of the library, he shrugs, continuing to rapidly absorb all the knowledge he can here.

She trots back over, sitting across from him as she rapidly flips through a book. “Apparently it can vary depending on who owns the rights to the books. Obviously if it is public domain, it can freely be distributed and sold… technically, there is nothing stopping a fellow unicorn from coming in and duplicating books themselves in here! I guess that is why I have my grants… maybe I could write my own books?” She looks across toward him. “What do you think, Kas? Oh! Do you need help, by the way?”

He grins up at her, nodding. “I think you could write some awesome books! And I also think you just want an excuse to read, so c’mon.”

At being found out so fast, she flushes in embarrassment, before trotting over and taking a seat next to him. In a long list of surprises from the monochromatic pony, she found out that he could read almost as fast as she could.

First things first, he was ensuring this place looked nice and tidy. Twilight let him borrow most of the books he needed, which were piled high on a table off in the corner. The place had collected a small amount of dust, and there also was a lot of broken glass. It was kind of concerning. Broken jars that presumably held roots, but he had no idea how they got broken.

Nervous and clumsy was a tough combo, maybe that was why she sold out? He sifted through some files, containing the deed and other details to the estate. The upstairs was solely a living area, with a nice view onto Ponyville, but he started to get a strange feeling. Like a twinge in his ear. It was supremely uncomfortable, and he lacked the digits to properly poke around in there to see what was up. It could almost be classified as an itch.

He went back downstairs, swapping out his broom for a mop as he went to make sure no root stains were left in the floor, when he heard banging at his door. “Closed, sorry! Gotta tidy up…” …and actually get some stock, but he’d never say that. And then, a violent crunch is heard, the door swinging open.

Two burly ponies enter, one dark blue with a buzzed grey mane, the other silver with messy blue hair. “Aww, is this a bad time?” The silver one coos, sneering toward Kas as they step inside.

The blue one wore hefty saddlebags, which jingled slightly as he walked. “Time to pay up, Banks. Otherwise, you quickly have bigger mess to clean up.” He tilts his head to the side, resulting in a resounding serious of cracks. “Since I split head open to find needed bits.”

Kas sighs, but he is smiling as he looks down, shaking his head. “Ahh, nuts.”

Episode 7 - "Hoof It"

“Alright, girls, I’m sure you noticed Kas has been feeling a little left out lately… and maybe a bit nervous since he is new in Ponyville…” Twilight sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. “And so am I… so what better way to help us both feel comfortable than help him set up his new shop?”

Pinkie was bouncing along eagerly, Rainbow gently flapping above her. “Are you sure, Twilight? He doesn’t really seem like the type to ask for help…” But Twilight just shakes her head dismissively.

“Nonsense! He came by the library for help earlier, and he was such good reading company!” She hums, Applejack trotting up alongside her.

“Yer’ tellin’ me, I’m not sure even I’m stubborn enough to sleep outside if ah’ don’t got a home readily available.” She shakes her head, looking up to Rainbow. “Dunno why ya’ didn’t invite him to stay with you if ya’ saw him like that.”

Rainbow shoots Applejack a glare. “Okay, firstly! He was asleep. I, more than any pony know the importance of both good rest, and the eternal dread that comes upon being rudely awakened!” She drifts down towards Applejack. “And secondly…” She flexes a wing, as to poke Applejack’s cheek.

“Oh yeah… s’pose that would right be a hole in the well.” She thinks for a second, before smirking. “Got a feelin’ he’d find a way around it, though. Like when Pinkie Pie visits ya’.”

Snickering is heard from behind, Pinkie bouncing past the two of them. “A few balloons can go a looooong way! Especially when it is a few DOZEN.”

“Well, I for one felt my poor heart simply break at hearing poor Kas had to sleep out in the dirt like that!” Rarity remarks from behind, wincing at the mental image she conjured for herself, which was likely ten times worse than anything Kas had actually had to deal with. “I’d never forgive myself if I simply left him to spruce up his abode and livelihood all by his lonesome!”

Applejack interjects, leaning against Rarity. “Sure it ain’t a matter of wantin’ to practice some interior decorating?” To which Rarity lets out a small ‘Hmph!’, magicking Applejack’s stetson over her eyes.

“Perish the thought! ...Well, maybe a bit, but I do mostly want to help the dear, sometimes asking for help yourself can be a difficult task…” Fluttershy trots up alongside her, nodding.

“Goodness, don’t I know… even if I didn’t, um, still feel like I owed him for watching Angel… I still want to help.” She smiles softly, the group coming upon the shop from the side. “At least I have my animals when I feel lonely, so… I’m sure he’ll appreciate the company!”

-CRRRRRAASH-

All the girls yelps as the front glass window of Kas’ shop explodes due to the sudden body of the monochromatic earth pony being flung through it. Bruised slightly, and now covered in cuts and bleeding injuries, shards of glass stab into parts of him here and there. Namely, a large piece in one of his eyes as he sits up, chuckling. “Ahh… mind working my left side next?” He gestures to the left side of his body, which is less bruised than the right.

The two large earth ponies storm out, the silver one clearly frustrated that they are being mocked, and the dark blue one remaining stoic.

The girls immediately spring forward, Rainbow Dash bolting in front of them. “Now just who the hay do you two think you are, picking on a poor, defenseless pony like that?!”

The silver one steps up, staring her down… before a smile spreads across his face. “Gilded Rapier, at your service.” He winks at her, though her glare doesn’t falter.

The blue one steps up next. “I am Goz. Move aside, little pegasi. This do not concern you.”

Her nostrils flare. “Now I KNOW that isn’t for you to determine! I think it does concern me!” Rainbow snaps, Applejack stepping up alongside her.

“Darn tootin’, why don’t ya big bullies take a hike?”

Goz locks his gaze onto Applejack, snorting. “Big words, not so big ponies. Leave now. Would be unwise to scar friends with sight of mangled body.”

Rainbow winces at the threat, but to Applejack’s credit she stands firm, eyes narrowed.

Fluttershy was nervously picking out pieces of glass from Kas, looking like she may have a panic attack. Twilight looks back and forth between her friends and the large ponies, eyes wide with fear. “Okay, okay. We’re gonna clean you up, and then you can tell me what is happening right now, Kas!”

She shakily pulls the shard in his eye out with her magic, he picks it up off the ground. “Keep?”

Twilight pauses, at a loss for words. But she still tries. “Wha??”

“Keep???”

“No!”

“Keep…”

She clenches her eyes shut, the glow surrounding the shard again and sending it skidding off away. “Aww, nuts.” There was the sound of soft clinking all around him as glass was carefully pulled out, and in some cases… it just look like it fell out of him, like his body pushed it out.

Rarity begins wrapping what seems to be some ribbon around wounds as a makeshift bandage with her magic. “Um, dearie… I don’t suppose you have some sort of plan for this? You are quite the tough fellow, after all.”

Kas thinks for a second, rubbing his chin. “Mmh, I don’t think so. They are pretty big, and I am really outta shape. I’d prob’ly get stomped.”

She bites her lip, while a large shadow is cascaded over her. The shadow of the lumbering pony steps up behind Applejack. The apple pauses, looking up before a wide smile spreads across her face. “Big Mac… how kind of ya’ to join us. And ya brought Braeburn as well, ain’t that just dandy.” The two large, farmer stallions flanked Rainbow and Applejack, the two loan sharks now outnumbered. Big Mac stepped up towards Goz, the only one able to match the burly pony in height.

Goz locked eyes with him, huffing. “Suppose you here to make me leave?”

“Eeyup.”

“Plan to hurt if I no listen?”

“Eeyup.”

“Prepared to get hurt if I no listen?”

Big Mac matches Goz’s steely gaze with his own. Both are calm, composed, but stone cold. “Eeyup.”

The stare down lasts for what seems to be hours, before Goz gives in, turning to Gilded Rapier. “Come. Let us go.”

Gilded Rapier feels his smug expression falter. “The what? Why?! We got these bumpkins outskilled!”

But Goz is already walking. “Skill only get you so far against raw number. Either come, or stay.” All the ponies stared at Gilded Rapier, who suddenly felt a lot more frightened. “You choose.”

The earth pony muttered some obscenities under his breath, stomping after Goz. “This ain’t over, y’hear?! Tell em’, Goz!”

And Goz just nods with that commanding presence he has. “It is not over.”

Pinkie pops out from behind Big Mac, shooting a playful glare and shaking her hoof. Then, she giggles, shaking her head as she trots over toward Kas. “Talk about playing rough, sheesh! You okay, Kasi?”

He rises to his hooves with a bright smile, looking over his colorful bandages. “I feel so fashionable!” The stallion snickers, holding a hoof up to stifle his laughs. However, Pinkie is the only one that seems intent on joining him. “Right, um… I’m okay, though! And… thanks, for stepping in like that.”

Applejack still had her steely gaze on, perhaps due in part to the fact that Kas was treating this like one big joke… but it quickly falls flat as she lets out a frustrated sigh. “Well, of course, sugarcube.”

A cyan pegasus butts in, smirking. “Yeah! No way we can let out new friend get pummeled like that! I could see em’ shaking like leaves the second I dashed out onto the battlefield!”

A Stetson is pushed on her head, covering her eyes by Applejack. “Ah’m sure havin’ two a’ the toughest apples behind ya helps too.” While Rainbow scoffs, batting at the Stetson shoved onto her head.

“Suuuure, bring THAT up!”

Kas laughs softly to himself, feeling a weird sensation in his stomach. Akin to fluttering, or something. He leans against Fluttershy for support, who blushes slightly. “Anyway… what’re you guys doing here?”

This time, Twilight is the one to respond, having gathered up all the broken glass with Rarity using her magic… and also bandaging Fluttershy’s hooves slightly, since the pegasus got a bit too overzealous with helping Kas and forgot that glass was sharp. “We came over to help you spruce up the place! I know you’ve done your research, and I hope you come over to the library for more… but I thought it might be kinda fun!” She smiles sheepishly. “I hope we weren’t intruding- I mean, I’m GLAD we came now, after that! But I also, ah, don’t want to seem too pushy or-”

“I’d love some help, Twilight!” His impulsive interruption returns her smile back to 100%, just how he likes it. He trots along with the rest of them into the shop, a few blood splatters visible on the ground as well as some more broken glass. Rarity grimaces.

“Tch, barbarians…” A glow surrounds the nearby mop, bringing it over in the flash to get to work in remedying the bad memory. “No point dawdling on it, though! If they return, we’ll be ready.”

Twilight nods slowly, shards of glass being picked up in that pinkish glow. “Yeah… maybe I should send a letter about this to the princess, maybe she could send some guard detail over… I guess I should find out why they were here first.” She looks to Kas, eyebrow raised. “Did you know them? I know you are new in Ponyville, did they come from where you lived before here?”

Kas merely chuckles, slowly shaking his head. He pauses, then shakes his head again. “No, no. I don’t think so. They said they were here for Rooty Banks, and assumed I was her.” He snickers. “I mean, sheesh, I wish!”

Looking up at the root themed appearance of the shop, Applejack squints. “Sheesh, really relyin' on the root gimmick. That mare was always a pretty shady character, I tell ya. Didn’t trust her fer’ as far as I could throw her.” She locks her gaze onto Kas. “An’ I can throw a pony pretty far. Applebloom can testify ta’ that when she gets on mah’ nerves.”

Everypony stared at Applejack in silence, before she began snickering.

“Kiddin’, I only chuck her when she asks me too, which is only in correlation with a nearby body of water.”

Fluttershy lets out a sigh of relief, looking around quietly at the mostly empty toom. “Well… I kind of like how it looks, but, ah… I can see how it wouldn’t be ideal for a mask shop, maybe…”

The shy pony yelps, stumbling backward as Rainbow peeks down at her from above. “Uh, Equus to Fluttershy? Our friend just got attacked and you are focusing on the décor?! Geez, you’re worse than Rarity!” Only for her to get bonked over the head by a broom enveloped in a blue glow. “Ow! See what I mean?!” She cries, gesturing incredulously to Rarity, who responds with only a mere ‘Hmph’ of indignance.

Twilight stands at attention before everyone, a determined look on her face. “Alright, I’ll head over to the library to have Spike send Princess Celestia a letter… in fact, I might bring him with me. Not sure how comfortable I feel with him at home by himself while ponies like that are still out and about!” She gallops out, with no one having any real objections with that notion.

Kas looks over at the girls, rubbing at one of his fancy bandages sorely. “So, ah… where do we start? I only read up on crafting and finance, not interior design.”

Pinkie springs up next to him, “Not to worry, Kasi! I have a cunning plan!” She chimes, leaning against him. “A mont-aaage~!”

She dances along with him throughout the building, Fluttershy following along as they begin to bob themselves to an invisible beat.

’Oooh, helping friends is so much fun,’
Even when ya’ got meanies sending them on the run,
We’ll cher-ish you when you’re feelin’ doooown!
It ain’t nothing to the friendliness of this town!’

The words came naturally to Pinkie as she cartwheeled around the storage room of the shop, that poofy tail swiping out and tackling cobwebs, tossing any trash into a black bag she tugged out of her mane.

’And even if those meanies were oh so scary,
And when a scenario seems kin-da hairy…
It is important to remember: you aren’t alone...’
We can help, you don’t have ta’ be - on your own!’

Fluttershy chimes in, striding through the air as if carried by a gentle breeze, coaxing a raccoon out of a nearby barrel. She seemed more in her element singing like this. More relaxed. Nearby, some mice even even start out of their hole in the wall at the sound of her singing. Kas just stares on in amazement.

’An’ even not bein’ the most coor-din-ated bunch,
Ya’ can count on us when yer’ on the crunch,
Cuz we’re yer friends, darn tootin’,
Anyone bugs ya, they’d best be scootin’!’

Kas sees Applejack in the main room spin her lasso, wrapping it around one of the upper roots and yanking it down with an impressive amount of force, sending twigs and splinters sprinkling down. She then bucks it out an open window, working on the next nearest one.

’And don’t be afraid to yell our way,
Cuz’ no matter the time or day,
And no matter the circ-um-stances,
We’ll be there: don’t take any chances!’

Then comes Rainbow Dash ducking and weaving past the large, falling roots, shoving a dark cloud in front of her. She spins around, slamming her body against the top of it to send a torrent of rain down onto the blood splatters, washing them away.

’Though I understand asking can be a chore,
There is often lots of good in store!
Especially with working as a pony of one,
Solo work like this can be - hard to ruu~uuuuun!’

Rarity joins in, dancing lightly as she steps into the store, just barely dodging a falling root and nearly slipping on the water. She huffs in frustration, but doesn’t let that diminish her determination as buckets of paint, black and white, swirl around in a blue glow. Brushes in a similar glow get dipped inside, working tirelessly at giving the place a firm repainting.

’Friendship can be a slippery slope,
Sometimes it has me at the end a’ my rope,
But we learn new things every-daa~aay…
We’ll be here for you, and here - to - stay!’

A pinkish glow envelope all of the fallen twigs, splinters, and excess roots Applejack missed, cobbled up in a big ball by Twilight’s magic and sent rolling out of the building, with Applejack joining in along with the others to finish up painting with Rarity. It all had been completed in a little less than an hour at the rate they were all singings, with Kas having some difficulty joining in. But despite that, they were patient with him.

It was in this ponies blood to sing, it seemed, and he was a lousy one. But it all made his chest feel funny. Sort of warm, and not in the normal way like when he laughed. It felt almost kind of… reassuring. Nothing like the chaos induced glee he normally feels.

The girls and Spike insisted on staying over to make sure those ponies didn’t come back to try and finish the job, which again… made him feel all fluttery inside. Like an alien egg hatching within him and trying to burst out of his chest. But with more sunshine and rainbows.

With the many lobby of the shop covered in all assortment of blankets and pillows, all in varying designs In accordance with their tastes. Rarity and Twilight had some lavish, silky blankets. Applejack had some hearty looking quilts, as did Fluttershy. Rainbow was just curled up in a cloud, and Pinkie was buried in a small mountain of throw pillows with Spike.

He chuckled softly, yawning a little as he looked out onto them all. His friends. He was uncertain with Applebloom about her sister, at that stretched to include the others too, but… maybe Friendship was Magic.

Then he froze, his revelation being circumvented by another, more harrowing realization. One regarding the importance of having a primary business that sold someone people actually needed, rather than a side business that dealt in more specific needs.

“Godammit, how the fuck am I going to have sustainable income selling masks?!”

Author's Note

Definitely have a lot of room for improvement with musical numbers, but seeing as they are a staple and montage-essential, I feel like I did fairly good for my first one.

Episode 8 - "A Terrible Fate"

Panicking wasn’t something competent, capable ponies did. Those that were confident in their abilities, had a firm grasp on their special talents, and believed in themselves had little reason to panic. Kasikov fell under no such defining factors, and was totally panicking. Selling masks wasn’t like selling apples, there is no real necessity to having goddamn masks.

He was pacing back and forth behind the counter. Probably for about two hours, or so. Everypony else was already asleep, save for him. All because of this new problem.

“Okay, masks aren’t sustainable. Sure, they’re fun, and practical… but only in specific circumstances. The solution?” He taps a hoof against his chin. “I need to make masks that are sustainable. The kind of masks that are useful to have regardless of what the circumstances are.” He was beginning to make a mark in the wooden floor from all his damn pacing. “Masks are usually used in theatre, or theatre-adjacent activities. What else…? Bank robberies? That is kind of the opposite of practical, plus, not really lucrative to a good reputation.”

He groans, leaning his full body across the counter, looking out onto the ponies sleeping peacefully. His friends sleeping peacefully, even. The real problem of that was, after all this time… did he even know what a friend was anymore? He’d been locked up for the better part of a decade, or so. And while he had adapted well enough so far, that had mostly been due to the lovely and ESPECIALLY healthy coping mechanism of bottling up your emotions!

Kas pouts, blinking his eyes slowly and yawning. “Mmh, maybe I should take the advice of that musical number…” His dreary mumbles begin to slow as he too dozes off.

Not but a few hours later is Kas awoken by the telltale sound of paper rustling. A page being turned to be exact. Of coure, likely not totally the fault of Twilight, who is enjoying some late night reading. She probably had troubles getting to sleep too, but he was too sensitive a sleeper himself to sleep through the turning of the pages. Oh well, it was unlikely he’d be out much longer anyway. Between tossing and turning, nightmares… only a matter of time.

“No rest for the wicked, hm?” Kas chuckles, voice slightly hushed as Twilight jolts at the sudden intrusion unto the silence. Well, mostly silence. Rarity and Pinkie snored.

“Eep! Sorry if I woke you, Kas…” Her ears fold back slightly, while Kas deftly vaults over the counter.

“Nope. It was unlikely I’d be getting much rest anyway. Too much to think about. Everything just happens so much, doesn’t it?” He muses, earning a slightly confused nod from Twilight. He takes a seat next to her, leaning over to see what she was reading. “Anyway, what’s up?”

Upon being asked about her books, she brightens. “Ah! Well, this tome here is about enchanting! I figured if those ponies came back with reinforcements before the Princess could send her own guard detail, it’d be good if we all had a bit of extra firepower!” She winces a little, a bead of sweat forming on her forehead, “Of course, ah… ideally, we won’t need to go to that length. But I like to prepare for every possible scenario. Just in case!”

Kas nods in agreement, looking over the book with sudden intrigue. “Hrrm, smart thinking, Twi.” And she brightens even further at the compliment. The gears… the cogs up in his brain, they’re a’ turnin’. It is slow, not OSHA approved, and there is some smoke coming out of the mechanisms, but by god are they turnin’!

“Is there a real… limit, to what can and cannot be enchanted?” He tilts his head at her, to which Twilight shakes her own.

“Nope! Nearly anything and everything can be enchanted! Even items that already bear magics, if you are skilled enough. Starswhirl the Bearded apparently had a toothbrush called Bristletongue forged by an ancient dwemer blacksmith to bear remarkable Longevity, to ensure it didn’t deteriorate! Then apparently, he was able to inscribe numerous destructive incantations to dissuade intruders and would be thieves!”

Kas stares in silence. Oh god, she was doing it again.

“This is, of course, typically a difficult feat with artifacts due to the inherent magical structure within them! Enchanting them further can either dampen the inherent magical properties, or even go as far to make them malfunction!”

Kas blinks. This was how he died. Luckily, his will was already drafted. Everything was left to Gummy.

“But Starswhirl was able to perfect his OWN method for enchanting in such a way that it not only didn’t harm the inherent magic, but could empower it slightly through drawing from his own magical signature! Of course, close proximity is required for such a feat, but the lasting enchantments stay active on the object in question indefinitely so long as they have a strong connection to the ley lines and such.”

His brain was working overtime to sift through the onslaught of information to pick out the tidbits he could use. Of course, it felt like a mental blue screen through and through.

“Isn’t that fascinating?”

Alas, Kas.exe has crashed. Crash report: information overload. Twilight must have noticed the vacant, thousand-yard stare, because she slowly began to flush in dawning embarrassment.

“Er… I’m rambling again, aren’t I? Sorry…”

He snaps back to reality, though gravity idles to stay where it is for the time being. Reaching out, her head is effectively pat by Kas to bring about hopeful reassurance.

“Shh, it’s okay. You have a lot of words to share is all, and we’re happy to hear em’!” He laughs softly, causing her to playfully raise an eyebrow.

“Then why are you shushing me?”

He pauses for a second, seeming to need a moment to think on his answer. “Cuz… sometimes some words have ulterior motives. Like making ponies feel bad. Evil words, that gotta be sent to the Shame Corner.” Kas points a hoof over toward a corner of the room, where a chair sat that definitely wasn’t there before, facing sadly into a corner. It somehow seemed even darker there.

Twilight giggles, holding a hoof up to hopefully stifle said giggles, lest she wake her friends. “Okay, okay. Fair enough.” She pauses for a second, thinking. “...How did you get enough bits to afford this place, anyway? Considering how you didn’t have a place to stay the night, I assumed you were a bit light on money.” Her face flushes slightly again. “Not- not that I am trying to imply anything, by that! Just… just something I noticed, is all.”

“Ah, well… I had a very limited amount of money, and just wanted to be totally sure what could be done with it before I spent any, is all!” He is barely able to stop himself from faltering and tripping over his words, but it was believable enough, and Twilight seemed to accept that.

“That makes sense to me! Also… I have yet to receive a message back from the Princess yet, I hope she got the letter okay, this is a pretty serious problem, after all!”

Kas raises an eyebrow. “Is that really why you were still up?”

Her eyes go wide, and she looks from side to side, desperate for an escape as Kas sees right through her. Finally, she lets out a tired sigh. “I know, I know… I was telling everypony not to worry, but I guess I was worrying the most of all!” She sets her book down, staring at it silently. “It’s… weird, but nice, being thrust into a position like this, here in Ponyville. Here with friends, I… didn’t even really know I wanted until I had them. And even if I’ve only known you all a short time, you all mean a whole lot to me.”

She looks up, and suddenly flinches. “...Kas?”

He cocks his head, suddenly confused. “What’s up?”

“You’re, ah, crying…”

Kas goes totally still, reaching a confused hoop up towards his face, which comes back wet. A silent stream of tears. “Huh. Weird.”

Then, he laughs. Because at the end of the day, that is all he really can do. Even if it is a hollow laugh, or if it sounds wrong, or if it is inappropriate. Then something else unexpected happens. He feels Twilight pull him into a close hug, and his laughter stops.

“I’m not- I’m still learning about all this stuff, so… let me know if I’m overstepping any boundaries, or something…” Twilight mumbles the words out, seeming not too off put by Kas’ strange reaction.

Kas feels his ears fold back, as his last form of defense had failed. She hadn’t been deterred, so now he just laid there, slumped against her. After a few minutes, he giggles. “Sheesh… I’m not s’posed to be the mopey one…”

Pulling away slightly, Twilight shoots him a kind smile. “And yet here you are, still finding ways to laugh about it.”

His grin slowly starts to return. “And let my sense of humor die? Bah. Bah, I say!”

They are both giggling now, Twilight holding a hoof out against his mouth. “Be- be quiet! You’re gonna wake everypony!”

He sticks his tongue out, blowing a soft raspberry. “Baaaah.”

She rolls her eyes, looking back down to her book. “I don’t know what your circumstances were before this, and… well, while I’m really curious, I’ll let you talk about it when you feel comfortable.”

Kas is nodding silently, expression blank… but there is the barest hint of relief on it. “Thanks a bunch, Twi.”

Her horn glows once more, shedding light back onto the pages. “I’m, ah… gonna go back to reading now. Are you heading back to…”

But he was already out, partially curled up next to her and snoring soundly. She lets out a silent giggle, and gets back to her book, magicking the spare blanket she had brought for Spike over and setting it atop Kas.

Sirens were blaring as Kas woke up, asleep at a desk. He looks up and around in a daze, his office entirely empty, but not without sign of a struggle. Overturned stacks of paper, knocked over chairs, bullet holes riddling the walls, and the blood…

Damnit, the blood. The room reeked of it. The smell of dried blood. He reached to his chest, adjusting his crooked tie and standing up.

Upon looking, the entire complex seemed deserted.

Of course, except for two people.

Himself, and a fellow wearing a white jumpsuit bearing a symbol on his right breastpocket. A circle, with arrows jutting out of it into all directions.

His voice was the same as it always was.

Dry.

Tired.

...Bored.

“We’ve been through this song and dance time, and time again, K-11-A.” The figure steps towards Kas, face a mask of emotions. Rippling noises sound off on all sides, revealing what look to be armed soldiers at the ready. Weapons drawn, all locked onto Kas.

“You escape, you run, you hide… then everyone dies, and you come home.” Kas feels his eye twitch at that last word. “Do you enjoy all the death? Does it appeal to your ideals? Your sense of chaos? I suppose those are more notes for your record." The man sighs, cracking his neck. "After all, you laugh all the way while it happens so… I must assume it does-”

“You’re WRONG You’re wrong, and you know you are.” Kas suddenly screams, stomping his foot and taking a step toward the man. He hears clicks from all the firearms around him, and stops dead in his tracks.

The man brings a collar out from behind him, making Kas feel his blood turn to ice. “You’ve outwitted us for the last time, I’m afraid. Humanity needs a savior, and I am determined to acquire that savior.” Kas, feeling unable to move a muscle, starts to scream. ”And I will go to ANY lengths to achieve my goal.”

And the last thing Kas hears is the click of that collar around his neck.

Sleeping soundly was something Kas did not often get to receive. And while, strangely, he found he slept better tonight than most nights… he shot up in a cold sweat anyway. He stared around the room, panting a little. Twilight was gone, and he saw Applejack walk through the doors, tugging behind a small wagon with wood and other such tools she said she’d give him the other day. The tools were a bit on the older side, but it was better than nothing to get him started.

“Ah, up already, sugarcube? Thought ah’ was gonna have to wake ya’ myself…” Her expression gets a bit concerned when she sees just how bad he looks.

Giving a hollow laugh, Kas stands up. “Please do, next time.”

“Are ya… are ya alright? Yer’ lookin’ awful…” She points a hoof at his mouth, a trickle of blood coming out from it. “And bleedin’... again.”

He reaches up, hoof this time coming away slightly red. It was how he woke himself up. “Oh. Yeah, I do that. I'll be fine. Think I just bit my tongue.”

Wrong answer, apparently, because Applejack immediately starts squinting. He shrinks backward. “It- it might’ve been my cheek…”

She steps up to him, eyebrow raised. “Mighty hard to bite yer’ cheek on accident as opposed to yer’ tongue.’

Kas clenches his eyes shut for the briefest of moments, before opening them back up and chuckling. “I’m an odd guy.”

Then commences the staredown of the century, but Applejack soon relents. “Fine, I won’t pry… but remember, we’re all here to talk if ya’ need it. So… just be careful, alright?” He nods, she gives a tip of her hat, before heading off.

He begins fiddling with the building materials at the counter, thinking deeply. And, of course, thinking for him can often be quite audible…

“Enchanting, hm? I wonder… quite clearly only unicorns can use magic, and those… alicorns, I think it was. But is that really true? In a place as magical as this? I wonder…” Kas needed answers, so he begins to mindlessly work with the materials while he ‘thinks’. “Could an earth pony feasibly do magic? If they can, it doesn’t seem like it’d be common knowledge… I need to, like, find a library. A big library.”

And again, despite the musical number, he still really, really didn’t want to ask for help-

“Did someone say library?” Twilight bursts through the door, Kas meeting her gaze in silence. She falters, coughing awkwardly. “Sorry! You were, ah, talking out loud and I.. heard. Specifically, you mentioning wanting to find a big library?”

He nods slowly, smiling. “This is so convenient! I should lament about my problems more often to avoid asking for help!”

Then, he goes pale, Twilight squinting at him. He facehoofs. “Meee and my big mouth…”

He looks back up, jolting as Twilight now stands in front of him, violently shaking him by the shoulders. “Don’t make them sing the song again! It was hard enough for me to join in LAST time…” She sighs, pulling away and holding a hoof out, smiling. “C’mon, we’ll figure this all out together, okay?”

Kas stares at her hoof in silence, and despite Twilight knowing just about as much about friendship as he does… he can feel like he learns more from her every day. She seemed to be a natural at it. He sighs, but it devolves into a soft laugh as he takes her hoof. “Okay, okay, enough sappy stuff. I sapped myself outta it last night. Where to, boss?”

She leads him outside, a determined grin on her face.

“To Canterlot, of course!”

Episode 0 - "Unchained"

Tap tap tap tap tap tap-

The sound had been ongoing for the past hour and a half, finally agitating the guard outside past the threshold of any lingering patience.

"KASIKOV. Shut - and I cannot stress this enough- the fuck UP." His voice snaps in a venom laced snarl.

"But how can I shut up something if it isn't coming from something I can shut?!"

The guard peers between the barred window at the man in the cell, glaring. The occupant had been tapping his head against a nearby wall at an unreasonably consistent pace, and it was pissing him off to no end. No one liked guarding Kasikov. It was the shift only the desperate or unfortunate were left with. Despite his annoyances, he was classified as a Code 5 threat level, on a scale that normally only went to 4.

Most guards, especially the new ones, just took that with a grain of salt. They hadn't had the chance to see what he was really capable of. All this guard could see right now was a large, disheveled looking man. Eyes were a dull brown. Messy black hair. He looked as average as average could be, if not a bit on the muscular side. It was lean muscle, however. Deceptively hard to notice.

"Fine. Poor choice of words. How about you do your best impression of a statue?"

Kasikov felt his eyes focus, gaze lingering on the guard. "Only if you do your best impression of a corpse~." He hums in a sing-songy tone, followed by a delightful cackle in response to the guard's slightly shaken expression. "I kid, I kid." Kasikov grins, tongue stuck out playfully.

"Christ, you are fuckin' weird... what did you even do to get put in here anyway?"

Kasikov would put a finger to his chin thoughtfully, if he wasn't bound by a straitjacket. "Well, my dear fellow… I found out what it means to be free." He pauses, for dramatic effect. The guard is not amused. "...And in a nation where such a notion is just perpetuated by stereotypes, false ideals and rules upon rules... some folks must've not taken kindly to that, I'd reckon!" He giggles joyfully, prompting the guard to roll his eyes

"Not sure why I expected a straight answer..."

The guard turns away, jolting when he hears a soft thump. Turning around reveals Kasikov staring straight at him through the bars and glass. "Never had there been more of a straight answer, my stringed up friend!" He bounces backward. "This is a world where we are forced to push down and smother away what makes us, us!"

"So, what, you were sad because you couldn't murder, or creep on people, or some shit?" The guard clicks his tongue, gripping his rifle tightly.

"Aha! Nothing so mundane. A plethora of things are illegal for a reason! No, I mean sometimes what can be described as nonsensical behaviors, strange hobbies, sexualities, moralities... even things you are born with and cannot change, you are expected to squirrel these things away, lest society deem you a freak, or worse for them!" He leans forward, smiling unnervingly. "I learned how to not be afraid. How to EMBRACE myself, for who I am! Love me, for me, and not give a damn what any yahoos think!"

The guard almost seemed a bit sympathetic, but couldn't let it show. Kasikov continued, "Tis' a world made up of smoke and mirrors, and all manner of nonsense that is constructed to form a teetering Jenga tower of life! All for what? A measly attempt at order, to keep the folk like me down and out, for fear that if we broke from our shackles, we'd upset the sanctity of this tower?" He sniffles, leaning against the wall, sulking. "I had attempted what many had done before. Try and make this dream realized! To try and induct the shackled into my freedom! But such a vision frightened the fat cats of this world, and they tried to bury my voice even deeper."

For Kasikov, this was good for a number of reasons. He liked to talk, but he also had to keep this guard distracted... mainly from the nearby panel that modified the state of his cell, having begun to go haywire. Fluctuating heat, a spiralling change in oxygen flow. It was all vacuum sealed. Now, the bars in his cell are merely decoration at this point. A reminder, with the glass on both sides of them as a precaution.

His collar began to glow blue, and spark. "But I- gack.... will not be silenced!" This was it. His only chance. If he screwed up, the collar would get perfected, and he wouldn't be able to build up energy anymore. The cell's environment paired with the electricity was wearing on him as he dropped to his knees.

Radio beeping was barely audible past the constant pounding of his head, the guard calling back up as he tried his keycard on the door. However, it was a bit hard when the reader you swipe your keycard against promptly explodes. A sneer spreads across Kasikov's face, the voltage growing more, and more intense. His pain threshold was being tested, and pushed to its absolute limit.

Sirens quickly came up, but Kasikov could hardly parse them as he heard the faint sound of fabric ripping around him. Not his straitjacket, but something else. The ripping was distorted, echoing into what seemed to be an infinite space. He shakily cracks his eyes open, seeing the torn space behind him in reality, barely big enough to fit him. His face is coated with sweat as the voltage explodes throughout his body.

And then, just as the door breaks open, he passes out... but not before falling backward, through a tear which repairs itself as quickly as it was opened.

He'd be happy, but all he can see is darkness.

...

.......

.........

-Crunch.-

Man, he hopes that was not his spine. It would really suck if he went to all this effort just to paralyze himself. Groggily, Kasikov sits up, which was a good sign to begin with. He looked under him, finding a lovely branch had cushioned his fall. Grumbling, he went to stand up... and immediately fell forward onto his face. Standing up clearly wasn't working right now. So, the obvious answer was to scoot around, dragging his face against the ground.

He keeps on scooting, up until his head is immediately dunked in some water. "GAH! COLD! MY ONE WEAKNESS!" Kasikov squeals as he yanks his face out, staring down with wide eyes. "Gasp! There is an equine creature in a straitjacket and collar in the water! What a coincidence!"

Kasikov pauses, moving his head around slowly as he watches the reflection mirror his movements. "No way, but... what if I'm... I'm..." He blinks, hearing a chirping noise to his right. "Aww, shucks. There goes the train of thought." He tries to wave at the bird, but falls over again. "Hi birdy- ack!"

Sitting up, the 'equine creature' frowns. "Yeah, this ain't working. How did Houdini do it... oh yeah!" And then, he throws himself into the water, totally submerged. The water remains still for several seconds, before Kasikov miraculously springs out of it, unbound, landing neatly on the shore. "Ta-dah! Gasp! I'M the equine creature, and by god! These hooves were made for walking!"

He was a moderately stout, light grey stallion, with dull features. Black eyes, a short and messy black mane, with a tail to match. A mark sat on his flank, displaying a trio of white theatre masks, all smiling and leaning against a black ribbon.

With that, he swiftly starts trotting around, gazing wide eyed at his surroundings. It looked like a forest! He was a big fan of forests. Always so peaceful...

He clicks his tongue thoughtfully as he walks. "Alrighty! I'm an equine entity now. In a forest as opposed to some cosmic pocket of unreality. Which is good!" His hooves patter at the ground in place as he continues getting used to them. Then, he lets his glance drift off to the side, seeing several sets of glowing green eyes upon him. "Ooh... I have an audience!"

Then, Kas was no longer standing there.

Several of the timberwolves blinked in surprise. The stallion they were just stalking... vanished? One of their lead hunters leaned forward, squinting at the nearby brush to see if the stallion managed to slip away.

"What're we looking at?" Kasikov whispers, causing the lead hunter he was right next to to let out a startled yelp. Snarls were heard on all sides of Kasikov, a few threatening barks being sent his way. "Ooh, so rowdy!" He squeaks playfully, springing into the air to dodge an oncoming pounce from one of the timberwolves.

"Not the best coordination, though." The lead hunter growls softly, causing the one that attempted to tackle Kasikov to patter back, ears folded sadly. "Aww, it was a commendable effort, though! Good reflexes!" Seems the lead hunter was confronting Kasikov, slowly circling the earth pony.

Kasikov stares in silence, before abruptly springing forward. The timberwolf is hardly able to dodge backwards due to the shocking speed of the pony. His brow crinkles as he is deftly booped on the snout with a hoof. "Aaaand, tag! You're it!"

The chase then commences, the dubiously human-turned-pony bounding through the forest, laughing up a storm as the wolves sprint after him, actually starting to get a bit tired out at the near boundless energy that Kasikov possessed.

"GWAAAR!"

The pony, and pack of timberwolves all stop in place, one bumping into the other one after the other in order of lineup, Kasikov at the front. Seems all their scrambling around had awoken a certain large, dangerous...

"KITTY! Oh my god, you look so fluffy, what the hell?" Kasikov coos, walking towards the manticore absentmindedly, its stinger tail primed and at the ready. The timberwolves released this was absolutely not worth the effort anymore, and had begun scrambling back the second the manticore had reared its head. Kasikov nimbly dodges out of the way of a large swipe from the beast's claw, now standing on top of its back.

"So feisty! Shh, relax!" He begins to joyfully pet the manticore's head, laughing the whole way as he dodges frustrated swats from the beast. This went on for a while, and the manticore quickly began to notice something. A quiet, rumbling sound coming from within its throat. Initially, the manticore begins to panic, thinking the pony had infected it with something. "Aww, you're purring!" The manticore relaxes a little at this, since it doesn't seem particularly bad... in fact, this all feels pretty good.

⌛ Thirty minutes go by... ⌛

Kasikov was more than content, petting the big, sleeping kitty that had curled up around him.

"Manticore tamers are rarely seen, lest on battlegrounds oh so clean..." The grey pony perks up, looking out to see a hooded figure out in the brush. He stares at them for a second, giggling.

"Dunno if I'd say that, I'm just good at multitasking."

The similarly equine figure steps out, doffing her hood to reveal a zebra. She holds out a hoof. "Zecora is my name." She simply states, with Kasikov sneakily slipping out of the manticore's grasp to shake her hoof.

"Kasikov! Nice to meet you, Miss Zecora!"

She chuckles, shaking his hoof in return but with less enthusiasm. "A unique name you own, I can see. I wonder if you come from far lands, just like me?"

"You could say that... where are we, anyways?" Kasikov decided to go a bit light on the details, lest this place scorn interdimensional travellers... he had never done something like this before, so he wouldn't know.

"This is the Forest Everfree, perhaps it's a home to thee?" He thinks for a second, before frowning and shaking his head.

"It's nice... buuuut too enclosed."

She frowns, but nods, understanding. "I'm sure I can come and visit, though! Maybe in exchange for you showing me the way out, hmmm?" He leans forward as he speaks, prompting her to giggle.

"A fair trade, there is no doubt. Come along, let us be en route."

Kasikov trots along behind her in silence, before nodding his head to the side. "So, where we off to? Er... hehe, I assume you mean a way out different from the way I came in!"

A nod is the first response from the monochrome mare, who adjusts her hood back over her face. "The Ponyville entrance is where I will bring you. Your demeanor makes me believe its name is new?"

"To me, at least, yes."

"If twas' an entrance not there, then may I ask where...?" Zecora tilts her head to the side, gazing back at him.

Damn, stuck in the middle of his own lie. "The... above one?" She stops, and stares at him in total silence. He could lie, but didn't do well when pressed.

"Okay." Is her only reply, followed by a light shrug. Thank god he got the cool forest guide.

The walk isn't much longer as he nears a break in the trees, spying a winding path leading further along and breaking off to a cottage as well. "Ooh, nice... who lives there?" He points a hoof at the cottage.

"A shy, and rather timid mare, one whom houses many animals with her care."

"I see..." He nods thoughtfully, rubbing his chin as he starts to trot forward. But then he looks back. "And thanks, Zecora! I'll be sure to visit you soon!" The smile she returns is warm, as if this was the first pleasant company she'd had in a while.

Kasikov happily trots along the path, casting a glance towards the cottage. Lights were off, so likely no one was home. That was no problem. Not like he would have just walked up to her house anyway, that'd be... weird. The lad is contemplative as he walks.

"Oookay, so! New dimension, new me. I need a… a job! Heheh, yes! Dang, been a while since I had one of those. I wonder if they got office buildings around here? Secondly, buy a house." Soon enough, he was trotting into town as he walked, still talking to himself. "...and I'll probably have to hoof it outside on my own for a bit... heheh, 'hoof'. Hope it isn't raining in the next two weeks! Implying I get a job on the first day..."

He stops dead in his tracks, ignoring the ponies that cast gazes his way every so often. "Wait, shoot. I need... eat and drink. That. Was it two weeks without food? That'd work, and I can easily get some drinkable water, I'm sure..."

"GASP!"

His gaze instantly snaps up. "Hey! That's my bit. That I just started doing." He shoots without missing a beat, a pink pony in front of him having gasped so hard the apparent inhaling of all that air brought her a few feet off the ground. Then, there was just a pink blur as she dashed away.

"EEEEE! I get to plan parties for TWO new ponies?! What kind of luck is THAT, wow!" Pinkie cried eagerly to herself, tone shrill as she hid behind the back of a nearby house.

Kasikov leans over her shoulder, eyes wide with curiosity. "Which two ponies?"

The pink pony yelps, stumbling forward abruptly. She wasn't used to being snuck up on, usually she was the person doing the sneaking! Kasikov holds out a hoof to help her up.

"How'd you do that?" Pinkie asks curiously, taking his hoof to help her back up.

"How'd I do what? Help you up?" She goes to say something, before he speaks up. "It's all on the wrist!" He pounds a hoof against his chest, looking proud.

"Heheh, never mind… well, since you DID catch me mid-party planning-"

"Are you sure it wasn't scheming? It kinda looked like scheming."

Pinkie pauses, before shaking her head. "Nah, nah, nah. Nah. Scheming looks different. And usually implies nefarious or self beneficial purposes, silly-billy!" She grins, leaning forward. Kasikov merely nods. "Pluuuus if I WERE scheming, there'd be a lot more wringing of the hooves, and manacial laughing to myself!"

"All solid points. Continue."

Pinkie clicked her tongue, trying to once again board her constantly rampant train of thought. "Oh yeah! I'm Pinkie Pie!" She holds out a hoof, grinning.

Her grin is met merrily by the grey pony, eho hives her hoof an eager shake. "I'm Kasikov! Can I help with the party?" It'd been so long aince he'd gotten to help with a good party, after all.

Pinkie stares at him blankly as her hoof falls back to the ground. "Can you… help?" He nods enthusiastically. "Ohmygosh! How come I never thought of that! It makes perfect sense to try and get some insight from the guest of honor to make everything is Pinkie Pie Perfect!"

"Yes, yes, YES!" Kasikov Squeals happily, bouncing in place.

"Kas, you are a GENIUS!" Ooh, he seemed to like that nickname. Proof enough by that brightening smile of his. "As per Pinkie Pie decree, I'm appointing you as my assistant!"

"Awesome! So, who are the parties for?"

She giggles, reaching out to boop his nose. "Well, one is for you, silly." Which is met by a quiet 'ooh" from him. "The second, is another new pony in town! I asked around, and figured out she's named Twilight Sparkle!"

"Pff, there is no way that's a real name…"

Pinkie just shrugs, turning with a flick of her tail, gesturing for Kas to follow with a nod of her head. "Anyway, c'mon! Let's get this show on the road!"

He chuckles, the two of them dashing off together. Chuckles from him evolve into laughing, with Pinkie quick to join in. And now, we have the world at the mercy of two Elements of Laughter.

Episode 1 - "Equestria Bound Part 1"

Kas stared blankly at the kitchen in front of him. In particular, the countertop, where a rolling pin lay. Despite him and Pinkie clicking almost instantly, there were clear discrepancies between their skillsets. Namely, the fact that Kas was a cook, not a baker.

“I still don’t get why they are called cookies if I’m baking them.” The grey earth pony mutters, frowning a bit. Sure, parties were meant to have baked goods, but he was more of a firework kinda fella.

“Me neither, but they DO cook hay bacon, sooo…”

He gives her a sour look. “Two wrongs don’t make a right, Miss Pie.”

Pinkie blows a raspberry his way, gesturing toward the counter. “What you are gonna do: is knead the dough! And that is easy-peasy! No lemon squeezies, though. Fresh lemons are tough to come by after that Incident involving Applejack and Lemon Meringue..." She shudders.

He stares at the rolling pin in silence. Complete, and utter, silence. In fact, Kas had likely never stayed this still in his entire life. Which was saying a lot, due to how much he moved around. Pinkie leans forward, watching the stoic, solid gaze Kas is casting towards the rolling pin. Was it contempt he was expressing? Regret? Maybe it was some combination of both. Wordlessly, he reached a forehoof outward and touched the rolling pin.

Which instantly burst into flames.

Pinkie feels her gaze instantly shift away from Kas, now onto the aflame rolling pin. “Huh… that’s not supposed to happen.” She murmurs, the flickering flames reflecting off her big, blue eyes.

She is quick to snap back to attention, reaching backward and fishing a fire extinguisher out of her hair. “Alright! A minor hurdle, sure. I’ll help you polish your baking up another day, no worries!” Pinkie nods her head back at him. “In the mean time, mind blowing up some balloons for me? We’re gonna need a lot.”

“Balloons… I can do that, yeah. Yeah!” He shoots her a small grin, and is able to aptly hide the slight unease that was lurking behind it.

He trots off into one of the neighboring rooms. A living space, by the looks of things.It seemed that coming here he kept some of his abilities in tact, but… he was also feeling a bit at a loss. Namely, he couldn’t remember what those abilities were. He was fast, sure, but what else aside from that?

He thought about it, but nope. All he could come up with was him being fast. A mystery for another day, he supposes.

“This is fun and all… but I can’t remember a lot. I also have… not the best attention span. I still need a job, and clearly this place Pinkie works in is all about baking.” He grimaces as he laments to himself. While he couldn’t remember any specifics, he could remember the few times he had attempted baking. None of them were pretty. It either ended in an amorphous construct that tried to consume all in its path, or a inferno wild enough to rival the most violent of wildfires.

“Oof… and what if I get chased, too? Those -fffsssss- guys can really be -ffsssss- relentless…” His breathing gets a bit haggard as he blows up balloons while conversing with himself. “Got lotsa -ffssssss- weapons on their hands… probably could hop over -ffsssss- HERE too if they really wanted to, definitely got the -ffssss- resources for… for it… huff.” Kas stops, staring at the half blown balloon in his hooves.

“Why… huff… the ‘ell am I talkin’ and blowing? This was… puff… a HORRIBLE idea!” He lets the current balloon loose, resulting in a blast of air back in his face. His nose crinkles.

“Pinkieeeee. Party Ponieeeee. Pink- pink- Pinkie Binkie Rinkie Kin-”

“Yyyeess, Kasi?” She ducks her head in, eyebrow raised.

Kas casts his gaze behind him. “Is, uh,” He does a quick count of all the balloons. “Wow, that is at least over four dozen in a few minutes. No wonder I was sputtering like a dying putt-putt. But yeah! That. Is that enough balloons?”

Pinkie frowns for a second, which instantly unnerves Kas. Shit, did he mess up? The expression looked downright unnatural on her usually smiley face. “Kasi... that is a lot of balloons… maybe too many, if I’m being totally honest…”

Kas stares at her in silence, while Pinkie stares back… before cracking a wide grin. “Ayyyy, gotcha!”

He laughs, shaking his head. “You really did. I was about to say!”

They bump forehooves together. “No such thing as too many balloons!” They cry in unison.

“Oh yeah… since that is good, would you mind if I peeped around town to get a feel for the place?” Kas hums, leaning forward.

Pinkie snickers, gently bopping him on the noggin. “Of course you can, silly! It’s not like I’m keeping you here against your will! That’d be sooo messed up!”

“But you know what’d be even more messed up?”

“Hmm?” She tilts her head.

“If you were, like… were a surgeon… but instead of organ transplants… replaced their organs with cupcakes? Is that anything?” Kas mumbles, rubbing his bopped noggin.

“Hm, could use a little work. Some of the details seem kinda off… could make for a weird story, though!”

“All I know is that I’d replace my kidney with a carrot cake one.”

“I feel like you’re doing that thing again, where you say silly things just for the sake of being silly.” Pinkie muses, smirking as she narrows her eyes at him suspiciously.

“Me? Sorry, doc, but it’s terminal. I was raised by a pack of ravenous clowns when I was just a young sprout.”

The two of them share a laugh once more before Kas lets Pinkie get back to her baking, slinking outside and observing Ponyville itself. In truth, he hadn’t spent a lot of the time observing the place, and ended up bolting off with Pinkie the first chance he got. Like his train of thought stops abruptly upon the tracks just to observe some balloons floating along the side.

So! Out and about, once more. Man, he can only imagine how much more difficult this would be if he was still a human. Either ponies would be horrified or strangely enticed, and neither option really appealed to him.

"S'good to blend in, but also... can't help but notice the total lack of humans here. Could just be dimensional variables, though..." He stroked his chin thoughtfully with a forehoof, humming.

"Mrroww..."

Now that was a strange noise... followed by panicked squeaking. He saw a bunny scampering up towards him, a cat bounding after said bunny. The bunny had tried to request the help of other passing ponies, but they all seemed either too busy with their day, or couldn't understand their panicked body language.

Kas stops in place, and bows forward. This sorta stuff came naturally to him, and he was willing to accept this bunny as his lord and savior. If Looney Toons was as credible a source as it was, which it was, rabbitfolk weren't the kind to be trifled with.

The bunny pauses briefly, casting a nervous glance back at the advancing feline, and leaps up onto Kas' head. He leans back up as the cat tries to pounce, causing it to narrowly miss as his head is pulled back. "Woah, pardner'... bit eager on the reins there, ain't ya? Gotta be gentle with critters like these..." He giggles, reaching a forehoof out to pat the cat's head. "Hehehe... good kitty..."

The cat then hisses, lashing out and raking its claws against his forehoof. Kas seems unphased, continuing to grin goofily. "And even more volatile than a... a manticore, it was! Truly the smaller a creature is, the more power they wield, in this world!" He tilts his gaze up, eyeing the bunny. "Does this make me your champion?"

The bunny pauses for a second, as if he had to think on it, before nodding.

That goofy grin gets wider. "Awesome."

He trots past this very angry cat, as the words "A BUNNY HAS JOINED THE PARTY" echo off in a vacant part of his mind.

As he moves around, checking out shops and buildings, he sees an orange pony in a stetson wheeling in a cart full of tons of apple relates goodies.

"Ooh! Bapples." He grins, attracting the attention of the orange pony.

"Well, I'll be darned! Two new fellers in one day? Sometimes us Ponyville folks go a week without seein a new face!" She unhooks herself from the cart, wiping a bit of sweat from her brow with a forehoof. Then, she offers up the non-sweat wiped forehoof to Kas, forcefully shaking his own forehoof.

"Fer' starters, my name is Applejack! Dunno if you've caught wind of the apple family before, but if ya have, this is where we've made our home! Gosh, gonna have to introduce another new feller' to the family today..." Kas can feel his eyes spinning and bouncing around in his head, making it look like he has googly eyes as she shakes his forehoof. The poor bunny is hanging onto Kas' shaggy mane for dear life.

"I'mmm... Kasikov..." He steadies his head with his free forehoof, ceasing the rattling.

"And ah, I can't today." She frowns softly, but it is am understanding one. "I gotta help Pinkie with party shenanigans soon. Speaking of her... I think she mentioned you!"

Applejacks expression shifts to surprise. "You a brother of hers?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Nnno?"

"Cousin?"

"Nope!"

"...Uncle?"

"I don't think so!"

There is a pause.

"Secret pancake chef whom recently eacaped captivity from her nefarious bakery dungeon?" Kas asks, head tilted alightly. Applejack's eyes go wide.

"What the- what in tarnation!?"

"That one isn't true either, I just wanted to be included." She breathes a sigh of relief, then rubs her chin, eyes squinted.

"Have ya' actually been here before, an' I just never noticed ya'?"

Kas shakes his head. "Nope! First time here."

He sees the cowpony's expression brighten heavily. "Well, I'll be! Never seen any new folk manage to even get a word in with her edge wise before she throws em' a big ol' shindig!" She chuckles thoughtfully. "Usually she is zippin' off faster than a rooster in the mornin'!"

"Hehe, yeah, I can run... good." There is some chittering heard from above, as the bunny waves at Applejack. She squints again.

"Now hold on... ain't that Fluttershy's bunny...?"

"Maybe? I saw him being chased by a kitty."

"Ah, must've been ol' Whisker Webs. That feline's always stirrin' up all sortsa trouble, leerin' at townsfolk plenty, too." She sighs, shaking her head.

"Maybe he just needs a friend!"

"Mmh, maybe... anywho, yer' probably right. Too much to do to fit in another apple family tour, so we'll take a rain check on it." She tips her hat. "S'pose I'll be seein' ya around, sugarcube!"

"Until we meet again, cowpony!"

He trots off once more, content with the meeting as Applejack hooks herself back up to the wagon. All the while, the bunny on Kas' head now slumbering soundly.

"Where to now..." He ponders, walking through town when he comes across a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane, lounging on a cloud above a building. "Ooh... idea."

Sneakily, he scales the building via some careful wall jumps in an alleyway. He taps the small bunny on the head, stirring it awake. He clearly looks annoyed, but Kas whispera something up to him. He makes a fast paced chittering noise akin to laughter.

Kas leans over the roofside, elevated properly so just the bunny is visible on his head, looming over the sleeping pegasus. Both Kas and the bunny grin.

"AWAKE NOW, SMALL PEGASI. AN AVATAR OF MY BUNNY ORDER COMES TO JUDGE YOU." Kas belts the lines out in a boomig voice, trying his best to make it seem like the bunny spoke them.

The pegasus yelps, nearly falling off her cloud at the rude awakening. "Gah! It is WAY too early for me to be getting judged by avatars of bunny orders!"

"ACTUALLY IT IS LIKE FOUR IN THE AFTERNOOOOOON."

She grumbles, rubbing her eyes with her forehooves. "Way, WAY too early." Then, she narrows her eyes. "Wait a minute... Angel?"

The bunny goes pale.

"What the hay are you doing up here?!" She instantly looks over the cloud at Kas.

"Hi." Is all the grey earth pony says, caught red-hooved.

"You got 10 seconds to tell me what you're doing here, who you are, and why you have Angel." She says the words in a slow, threatening manner. Kas takes a deep breath.

"BoredsoIdecidedtoprankyoubutitdidn'tworktoowellanywayI'mKasikovnicetomeetyouandIsavedhimfromacat."

"...I understood like, half of that. And BARELY, might I add!" The pegasi exclaims, throwing her forehooves out.

"I was under pressure!" Kas stresses, frowning. "I don't do well under pressure!!!" She locks her gaze onto him, before laughing loudly.

"Pfff, okay, okay! Yeah, I believe you. You don't seem like the bunnynapping type." She leans towards him, eyes narrowed again. "Riiight?"

"The only bunnynapping that has been occurring has been on top of my head." Kas points a forehoof toward Angel, who yawned in reaponse. "He sleepy."

"Hmm, alright... name's Rainbow Dash, by the way! And I'd recommend getting that bunny to Flutters ASAP. If she realizes he's missing, she'll have a major freakout." She clicks her tongue, looking nervous. "And I'm saying this as if she doesn't know he's loose yet, because if she did, I'D know just how bad she was freaking out."

"Nod, nod." He nods. Dash points a forehoof towards the center of town.

"She should be practicing with her birds there. I'll catch you later, though... Kasikov, was it? I got some zee's to catch up on before everything starts."

"Alrighty, seeya!" He scampers down off the roof, Angel beginning to settle again. "Wonder what she meant by everything starting... ooh! That's a pretty building! Like a... like a cross between a carousel and a boutique!" He began bounding towards the lavish building... and completely forgetting what he was just told to do.