The Trials of Love

Consciousness slowly seeped its way back into the subconscious mind of one James Monroe. His green eyes slowly opened after taking that strike to the head. Boy, what a weird dream he’d had the night before. He must’ve either gotten ‘really’ drunk after losing his job before passing out or went home and sulked all night while God’s cruel tricks tormented him into psychological exhaustion… probably both. Either way, he gingerly lifted his hand to rub his now aching head as he slowly sat up.

“Looks like the prisoner is waking up.”

“What the hay even is it?”

“I don’t know, but Captain Armor must be notified immediately.”

James groaned as his head pounded further. He must still be drunk if he’s hearing voices in his head. When he stood fully upright, he tried clearing his vision so he could see the familiar surroundings of his bedroom. Only when he fully regained vision, he didn’t see any of that. The only sight greeting him were stone walls all around him. James quickly sobered up and scrambled to his feet as he noticed the jagged rocks that littered the cave-like area he currently resided in.

“What the hell?” He gasped in shock.

He slowly started to back up before he stopped in his tracks the moment he felt himself bump into something. Whatever it was made a sound resembling crashing into something metallic. When he turned around, he saw a door made entirely of old iron bars blocking his way.

“Oh shit…” He cursed himself.

He quickly ran forward, grasped the iron bars of the door, and started rattling and pulling trying to free himself.

“Help!” He shouted. “Is anybody out there? Please, I need help! There’s been some horrible mistake! I’m not supposed to be here!”

The sound of a big iron door creaking open, then slamming shut, made James quickly snap his mouth shut as a shadowy silhouette slowly approached him. Until eventually, the sight of a purple-coated miniature horse wearing some form of silvery armor appeared before him and James’ eyes went wide with shock. What was even more shocking about this creature was the fact its entire form seemed to glimmer and gleam like diamonds.

“Shut your muzzle prisoner!” The pony snapped.

Okay, ‘that’ did it for James. It was one thing to see a mystical-looking horse with a shiny gleaming coat and armor. Not it just actually spoke English. It shocked James so much he actually lost his footing and landed flat on his ass as he scooted away from the gate.

“What the hell?!” He yelled. “How are you talking?! Horses can’t talk! Stay the hell away from me!”

“Yell all you want prisoner. But until our captain and princess determine what to do with you, you’ll remain locked in this cell. I’d get comfortable if I were you because you might be here for a long time.”

The pony guard turned heel and proceeded back from whence it came. The very same iron door opened and closed, the impact echoing across the cave. This left James sitting on the cold ground in complete shock, unable to make heads or toes of what he had just seen.

“I’m dreaming…” He told himself. “I must be. I’ll just close my eyes and when I open them up, I’ll be back in my bed, in that shitty apartment.”

James closed his eyes so tight it actually hurt to dos o, as he concentrated on waking up and finding himself back in the familiar surroundings of his everyday life. When his eyes snapped open again, all his eyes met were the same stone walls and barred door.

“Shit!” He muttered. “Okay, I’ll just pinch myself or slap myself. That should do it.”

So James closed his eyes once more and gave his arm a particularly hard pinch to the point it actually discolored his skin with a bruise. Opening his eyes, nothing had changed at all. He closed his eyes again and this time gave his face a few hard slaps. Not only did it ‘not’ work, but it left his cheeks sore, and an ache swelled in his head.

“FUCK!!!”

<>

Meanwhile, high above the dungeon in the Crystal Palace, Princess Cadence sat on her throne holding Flurry Heart close to her waiting in anticipation for a report. About a few hours prior, a great earthquake and a beam of light landed somewhere in the North Mountain. This drew her husband and her troops to investigate what happened. Since then, she’d been pacing around the throne room until finally her sore hooves finally couldn’t take it anymore and she needed to sit down. Flurry had since fallen asleep in her hooves, which made it much easier for her to think.

Just then, the doors to the throne room flung open and in walked none other than Shining Armor, flanked by two other Crystal guards. Cadence placed the sleeping Flurry on her back, quickly trotted up, and threw her hooves around her husband, thankful for his safe return.

“Oh thank Celestia you’re alright,” She spoke gratefully. “What happened in the North Mountain? Were you able to find out what happened?”

Shining gently grabbed his wife’s hooves and unwrapped them from his neck.

“Yes dear,” He answered. “We found out what happened.”

“Well, what was it?”

“We’re still not entirely sure how it happened exactly. But when we arrived on the mountain, we encountered some strange creature.”

This caused Cadence to cock her head slightly to the side in curiosity.

“What kind of strange creature?” She asked.

“We’re not sure yet,” Shining responded. “We assumed it was some sort of yeti, but it doesn’t have fur like most do.”

“Could it possibly be a rogue changeling in disguise?”

“Highly unlikely. If it were, it surely would’ve reassumed its original form by now being locked in an anti-magic cell.”

Cadence tapped a hoof against her chin, pondering over what this creature could possibly be. Never before had she ever heard of a creature in the mountains before. The very thought of it both intrigued and terrified her.

“Is it possible it could be some sort of alien?” She asked.

“I don’t know honey,” Shining shook his head. “Thankfully, you have nothing to worry about. We have it locked in the dungeon and that’s where it’ll stay.”

The more this idea went through Cadence’s head, the more she desired to figure all this out. She wanted to make sense of it all and understand what’s truly going on.

“I wish to see it.”

“What?!” Shining exclaimed loudly. “No way Cadence! That thing attacked two guards before we finally subdued it. It’s clearly dangerous and I don’t want my wife going anywhere near it!”

“I appreciate your thoughtful concern, dear,” Cadence responded. “But I am a full grown mare who can take care of herself. Not to mention I am an alicorn princess. There’s nothing it could possibly throw at me that I won’t be able to handle.”

Cadence made a walk by Shining Armor, who quickly blocked her path and stood right in front of her.

“No Cadence! I absolutely forbid it!”

This caught Cadence by surprise, not to mention it angered her a bit. Who is he to tell her ‘I forbid it!’? Here she is wanting to maintain peace in the empire, yet he has the nerve to talk down to her like she’s a disobedient child scolded by an angry parent.

“Excuse me?” Cadence snipped back.

“I said I forbid it,” Shining responded sternly. “I won’t allow you to go down there.”

“Since when do you get to order me what to do and what not to do?!” Cadence snapped.

“When I’m looking out for the safety and well-being of my wife!”

“Oh, really? Because a ‘normal’ caring husband wouldn’t talk down to me nor dictate what I’m allowed to do!”

From the sidelines, a few crystal guards watched the ensuing argument with wide eyes which showcased how awkward it was to witness this.

“I refuse to stand idly by and let you wander down there with that thing alone,” Shining spoke, more calmly. “I can’t afford to lose you before our marriage… I just can’t!”

“Them come with me if you must,” Cadence responded. “Either way, I’m going down there. You can’t stop me.”

Shining took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He really didn’t want to argue with Cadence. Celestia knows she already has much on her plate as it is with other situations within the empire. Plus, this was his ‘wife’, the mare he promised to love, cherish, and whatever they do they’d do it together. With a heavy sigh, he nodded his head just a little.

“Alright, you win,” He relented. “But I am only going down with you only in case this thing tries to attack.”

Cadence gave no response, merely walked around her husband in a huff. She was still pretty mad at him; her face gave it away entirely. But right now, she couldn’t focus on her anger. She made her way out of the throne room with her husband following behind along with a few other guards for additional protection.

<>

Back in the dungeons, the sound of something slamming hard into metal filled the caves. James Monroe currently slammed his shoulder against the cell door hoping either he’ll bust his way out or at the very least loosen the bars. He’d been doing it for the past ten minutes now, his shoulder and arm becoming increasingly sore from slamming against the hard iron so much. Finally, he slumped onto the ground with his back against the door as he massaged his aching shoulder.

“Goddammit!” He cursed. “How the fuck am I getting out of here?”

Just then, the sound of the big iron door opening caught his attention and he quickly scampered back to his feet. In walked a few more of the sparkling horse guards, this time carrying spears pointed directly at him.

“So, what are you going to do now?” James asked. “Kill me?”

One guard stepped forward and held his spear toward James’ neck, causing the man to step back a little.

“I didn’t mean literally…”

From behind the two guards walked another pair of mini horses, thought these were more interesting. The first one was a white stallion with a man both dark-and-light blue with some kind of shield tattoo on its rear. The second was clearly female seeing it was slightly smaller and slimmer than the other. Her coat was a bubble gum pink, a tiny gold crown sat in her mane which flowed with a mix of pink, purple, and yellow. She, like the others, also had a mark on the hindquarters yet hers was a crystal heart. She stepped forward toward the cell wall and looked toward James with piercing magenta eyes.

“Can… you… speak?” She asked calmly.

James just stared at her in awe, for a moment or two. Till finally, he snapped back to reality with a shake of his head.

“Yes… I can talk,” He answered. “Course I’m wondering how the hell ‘you’ can talk. Where I’m from, horses don’t speak at all.”

“Oh, we’re ponies, actually,” Cadence giggled. “It’s a common mistake. Anyways, where exactly are ‘you’ from?”

James hesitated over answering that question because he was uncertain how to answer or for that matter if they’d believe him. The entire situation was completely messed up and he wasn’t exactly sure what to do. He was still certain he was either dead or drunk, but if that were the case, he wouldn’t be hurting from all the physical stuff he was doing. Perhaps he truly did get teleported to some strange world for all he knew. In that case, that made him some illegal alien in a strange land and that certainly didn’t make things any better.

“The princess asked you a question, beast!” One guard yelled.

“Patience Corporal Amethyst,” Cadence spoke soothingly.

Finally, James snapped out of his thoughts long enough to form an answer.

“Let’s just say I’m from another world,” He spoke cautiously. “A world called… ‘Earth’.”

“Another world you say?” Cadence questioned. “Would that make you an alien?”

“I… guess so?” James chuckled nervously.

Cadence couldn’t help but giggle a bit, much to the chagrin of her husband.

“Do you have a name, sir?”

“Monroe,” James responded. “James Monroe.”

“Well then, James Monroe, I personally like to be the first to welcome you to the Crystal Empire. I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but you may call me ‘Cadence’ for short.”

Cadence extended a hoof through the iron bars of the cell door in a gesture of greeting, much to James’ surprise. He had to admit for meeting an alien creature from another world, just landing out of nowhere in her own home, she was taking this remarkably well. Hesitantly, he reached out, gently took her small form in his hand, and shook it slowly. In doing so, he couldn’t help but admire just how smooth and soft the hoof was. At that moment, the white stallion in full armor beside her decided to interject himself into the conversation.

“Captain Shining Armor of the Crystal Empire Royal Guard,” He stated coldly. “I’m the one who lead the search party you attacked in the mountain.”

This caused James to face the stallion like he was crazy.

“I attacked?” He repeated. “You were the ones who attacked first! Your ‘search party’ charged at me, tried to impale me with its horn, what did you think was going to happen?!”

“Shut your mouth creature!” Shining snapped. “You invade our land, attack our guards, and you have the nerve to feign innocence?”

“That is enough Shining!” Cadence yelled.

Reluctantly, Shining Armor stepped back from the cell while staring daggers at James, who in turn was more than happy to return.

“You have to forgive my husband Mr. Monroe,” Cadence replied. “We’ve had some ‘history’ regarding attacks against our own race for so long, ‘some’ of us started to get paranoid.”

“What happens now?” James asked.

“Well that all depends. Do you have anywhere to stay while you’re here?”

“Considering I just landed along a frozen mountain before being thrown in jail… nope, I wouldn’t think so.”

Cadence tapped a hoof to her chin as she thought for a moment.

“Well then, it’s decided,” She declared smiling. “You’ll stay here in the Crystal Palace.”

“What?!” Shining asked in shock.

James, confused, looked around at the cell he was currently occupying.

“Aren’t I already?” He asked, gesturing to the bars.

“Oh goodness no!” Cadence shook her head. “You can’t possibly stay here in the dungeon. You’re welcome to stay in one of the hundreds of guest rooms we have in the palace.”

James couldn’t help but smile slightly. The prospect of leaving this cold dungeon and finally get himself an actual bed to sleep in certainly sounded nice. Meanwhile, Shining grabbed his wife by the forehoof and drew her off to the side to speak with her.

“Cadence, I love you, but are you insane?!” He whisper-shouted. “Why offer that thing to stay here?”

“What would you prefer I do?” Cadence whispered back. “Send the poor thing out into the cold?”

“If that means one less threat of Equestria to worry about, sounds good to me.”

Cadence glared toward her husband, as an intense stare-down took place.

“What is with you lately?” She asked. “Whatever happened to the stallion I married? The one who was so kind-hearted to all?”

“He’s still right here!” Shining answered. “But even he doesn’t think it’s wise to allow a potentially dangerous alien creature to roam free! You weren’t even there when he lashed out!”

“He doesn’t seem dangerous to me; in fact, he seems friendly,” Cadence shot back. “He’s a stranger from a foreign land, all alone, with nowhere to go. As the Princess of Love, I won’t turn my back on some pony in need of help. He’s staying here and that is final!”

Shining just huffed in irritation before leaving the dungeon angrily. Cadence sighed in frustration before regaining her composure and walked back to the cell.

“So what do you say Mr. Monroe?” She asked.

“I’d say… what are we waiting for?” He joked.

Cadence giggled at his enthusiasm before cueing the guard to open the cell door. Slightly hesitant at first, the guard grabbed the key with his magic and hovered it over to open the gate. James stepped from the cell and stretched his limbs before facing Cadence, who smiled at him.

“Shall we then?” She asked.

“Lead the way,” James nodded.

Cadence proceeded to lead James from the cell block while the two other guards followed closely behind, never taking their eyes off him for a second.