Colors

Black.

Another exception in the world of colors. It was the complete inverse of white. Instead of all colors combining at once, it was the absence of all colors. Like white, it technically wasn't a color, but most believed it to be one. Every creature had black in their eyes (except Discord), but most didn't even notice it next to the brighter colors. Essentially, it was an empty void, a blank slate where nothing existed. Unlike white, which brought about feelings of purity and peace, black seemed to embody terrible implications, even worse than grey, bringing to mind thoughts of emptiness and darkness, causing anyone who looked at it to be filled with sadness.

Now, it was the only color Princess Twilight could think of. Because it was the color of despair.

Twilight's "affair" with Rarity had started innocently enough. The two had met a few times a month, simply spending time in each other's company. When Twilight had time, they'd teleported to isolated places around Equestria, where no one would disturb them. It had been awkward at first, especially when Rarity had kissed her in the middle of a Friendship Council meeting, and the two of them had to endure Rainbow Dash's jokes for the rest of the day, since they hadn't told the others yet. Of course, after they'd explained, the remaining four mares had been nothing but supportive. Even Spike had congratulated them, having gotten over his longtime crush on Rarity. The only really sad feelings had been Pinkie's, when she realized she wouldn't get the chance to plan another wedding party.

Twilight hadn't expected the tryst to last as long as it did. She'd thought, even after Rarity had convinced her to give it a chance, that Rarity would quickly realize she didn't reciprocate Twilight's feelings and break it off. She would've been fine with that, since she'd never expected she'd get to be with Rarity in that way for even an insignificant length of time. However, what had actually happened was Rarity developing a real attraction towards Twilight, or so she'd claimed. Their sessions together had become more passionate as time went on, real love blossoming from nothing. Twilight would say they were among the best days of her life.

Of course, now that those times were coming to an end, Twilight wished she'd never made a move.

Princess Twilight was currently by Rarity's bedside in Ponyville General Hospital, standing over the bedridden white unicorn. Rarity had suddenly collapsed in her boutique (Twilight wasn't surprised she'd never stopped working), but fortunately, Sweetie Belle had been visiting, and called the hospital. After they'd stabilized Rarity, the doctor had sent word to Twilight and the others (remarkably, none of them had passed away yet) at Rarity's request. After they'd all had a brief talk, Twilight had requested some alone time with Rarity, which the others had granted.

More anguish began to drip into Twilight's stomach as she stared down at her lover. The years had been kinder to her than other ponies, but her appearance was still degraded. Rarity's gorgeous purple mane had completely faded to grey, and it now cascaded loosely around her head. It didn't have the strength for her to curl it anymore. Her skin had shriveled and wrinkled, and her eyes no longer had that same blue luster. Twilight would've said she was as beautiful as ever, but her mind recalled that Rarity's body was slowly degrading, and wouldn't be able to support her much longer.

"There's no need to look so down, darling," Rarity insisted. "It's just one bad day for me. Soon we'll be able to—"

"No, we won't," Twilight cut her off. "Rarity, there's no way to deny it. You're getting old, and all the others are, too. I'm the only one who hasn't changed, even with Luster Dawn's impending ascension to the throne. Soon, I'm going to be alone."

Rarity didn't respond immediately. In hindsight, maybe Twilight had been a little harsh with that statement. What could one say in response to that? However, another part of her reasoned that she had to be firm with what she said, otherwise Rarity would just continue to remain in denial, unintentionally tearing out Twilight's heart and stomping on it. Twilight wasn't happy to act the way she did, but she saw no other options.

Rarity coughed into her hoof a couple of times, making Twilight flinch. Her love of Rarity hadn't waned at all over the years they'd spent discreetly loving each other, and seeing this only made her want to vomit, if she were physically capable of doing so. She wished, more than anything, that her body would start failing just like everypony else's.

"I...I don't know how much time I have left," Rarity admitted, "but I am happy I spent those years with you, Twilight. You made me feel wonderful."

That broke the floodgates. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut as tears began to drip down her muzzle, falling onto the floor. She placed her forelegs on the bed and buried her face in the fold of the legs, sobbing quietly. Rarity placed a hoof onto the back of her head, not saying anything, simply letting Twilight cry it out.

"Why?! Why did I ever make a move?!" Twilight whimpered. "Why did I ever agree to give it a chance?! If we'd never had those days, I wouldn't be missing them! How long am I going to be doomed to walk this planet alone?!"

"You'll always remember the time we did have, Twilight," Rarity tried to reassure her. "I know, I wish you'd admitted how you felt earlier as well, but there's nothing that can be done about that now. I—"

"I don't want memories," Twilight sobbed out. "Memories are the ultimate cruelty of life. They exist to remind us of things that we've lost forever. They bring to mind feelings that you can never get back no matter how much you wish. I'd rather never have experienced those things than be left with nothing but memories!"

Rarity fell silent again. Twilight just cried silently, while Rarity brushed a hoof through her mane. Neither mare seemed to know what to say. Twilight didn't blame Rarity, considering that she'd just thrown the unicorn's attempts at comfort back in her face, but she was just being honest. This problem wasn't one that would be solved with a couple of pretty words and some hugging. What exactly would fix Twilight's misery, outside of some divine intervention, she couldn't say, but it was better than being in denial.

"Twilight," Rarity began, "do you mean that? Would you rather we had never met, so you wouldn't feel this pain?"

Twilight opened her mouth to answer in the affirmative, but quickly closed it again. As miserable as she was right now, she couldn't bring herself to wish for a life without Rarity. She loved the mare too much to imagine a life without her, unless of course that would've been better for the mare in question. And based on the evidence available, Rarity was happy to have met her. Twilight didn't have the heart to take that away from her, even conceptually.

"I...guess not," she admitted. "I just wish...I didn't have to feel this pain."

"I know, dear," Rarity replied, stroking Twilight's mane. "There's no shame in that. But like you told me, you won't live forever. You'll be without me for a while," she looked down, frowning sadly, "but you'll eventually join us. I promise, the five of us will be waiting patiently for you."

Twilight sniffed, wiping away her tears one more time. It hurt, but there was nothing she could really do. She'd already had her meltdown over Rarity and the others aging, and come to the conclusion there was nothing she could do about it. Discord had come to peace with Fluttershy growing old, and cast a mortality spell on himself, making sure that he would pass around the same time as her. But that wasn't an option for Twilight. Alicorn magic was notoriously hard to alter, meaning it would keep her alive for a long time, whether she wanted it to or not. Even Discord couldn't alter it without some dangerous side effects. She probably wouldn't live for a thousand years, like Celestia or Luna, because their magic was enhanced by their connections to the sun and moon. But she'd still outlive the vast majority of ponies. The only solution she could think of was to remove the magic, but it would have to go somewhere, since magic was like energy. It couldn't be created, nor destroyed. That was a risk she couldn't take.

She sighed quietly to herself. There wasn't anything she could do after all.

"I'm sorry, Rarity," she said. "Will you please wait for me?"

"Of course, darling. And...and if you find somepony else you like, it's okay if you—"

"No." Twilight shook her head. "I'll never find somepony I care for the way I do you. I promise, no matter how long it takes, I'll come back to you."

She bent down and kissed Rarity lightly on the forehead. Rarity reached up with her forelegs and hugged Twilight's neck with her fading strength.

Twilight walked out of Ponyville General, her head hung low. Her tears had dried up, leaving her frowning sadly. She knew she wouldn't be completely alone. Cadence and Flurry Heart would still live a long time as well, as would Spike, but it hurt all the same. Especially because it was her five best friends, who'd she'd been through Tartarus and back with (literally in one case). It was bringing Twilight to the edge of misery.

She looked up at the sky, wondering if she'd been right to accept Celestia's gift.