When you've lived in an empty house for a while, your homecomings start to blur together. Imagine spending your whole life in the company of a treasured few, then several lifetimes more. As Adagio turned the music up in her lavish sports car, she remembered.

Breakfast served in the dim hours before morning, so that the three sirens could bask in the flame of the sun as they dined. Countless quick scuffles settled by a pair of bruised, purple knuckles. Baths in cool springs spent in companionable silence, the feeling of a brush through hair, the unique snore of familiar bedfellows, and the sweet, awkward rhapsodies of songs that may never truly be finished.

Now imagine one day all of those tiny, essential moments suddenly vanish, replaced by a silence so oppressive it chills your skin and weighs down your eyes. No more warmth, home, and purpose; only unfinished songs remain.

Adagio's song was painfully unfinished, and as long as her palace in the sky was absently silent, it would always remain so. How long had she sat in this place, pacing, wasting time, hoping desperately for some contact?

Adagio despised desperation because it was the twin of hunger; her constant companion. It lead her to perform acts that bordered on blasphemy to satiate herself. At the same time, it was that very desperation that led her to Buck's arms.

Adagio's suite was meant to be a safe haven for her sisters when they finally returned to her, but now it was nothing but a mausoleum that she slunk back to at night as if she were the walking dead. She had thought fleetingly that perhaps Buck could find a home here instead, but she had managed to drive him away, too.

As Adagio stepped into her personal monument to loneliness and approached her wine rack, she tried to stop thinking about it. She was tired of being the goal-oriented master of her fate. The discovery of Buck and his magic had galvanized her, that was true, but the whole affair had gotten woefully complicated, and she was tired of obsessing about it.

She would take the night off from scheming, and simply allow herself to forget. With some rest and relaxation, she could more easily approach the pure irritation that was Buck and little miss Ditzy Doo's burgeoning relationship.

An old vintage from a specific region of France filled her wine glass. Adagio drank it down in an instant, cursed to herself, then went for a refill.

"Why even bother with a glass?" Adagio grumbled.

"Uhhh, so, we gonna do it, or what?" Said the loathsome creature on Adagio's couch, and just like that her lamentation curdled into disdain for all of humanity. Adagio turned her glare in its direction and saw that it was reclining on her couch with a pinkie in its ear. It hadn't bothered to look over its shoulder to address her.

The red-skinned, freckled waste of skin gave a startled gasp as Adagio swatted his feet off her coffee table.

"Hey, what gives!?"

"You will keep your grubby, discount boot bearing feet off my furniture." Adagio said. "Do you have any idea why you're here, right now?"

"I'm here 'cause you're a lady, and aaall the ladies wanna get a taste of Garble!" It's bark stank of cigarettes and insecurity. On its head was a crop of orange blonde hair, and on its face was a snaggled smirk that irritated Adagio in the depths of her soul. Adagio reached over, and once again smacked its feet off her table as it sat back.

"No. I'm Adagio Dazzle. You've heard of me." The waste of space scratched his chin, then a lightbulb seemed to go off in the abandoned warehouse that was his cranium.

"Wait a sec, you're that chick that's always hanging around Buck!"

"You're here because I'm having a challenging week. Since Buck is currently out of my grasp, you will be my snack tonight in his absence."

"Aw, what!? So what, I'm that freakin' nerd's sloppy seconds!?"

"I assume that you're used to that. You don't look like anyone's first choice." Adagio said, rolling her eyes.

"Pssh, whatever. Ladies wanna get all up on me 'cause I'm a smooth talker and I know how to fuck."

"I see. Is your second claim as blatant a lie as the first?" Adagio emptied her glass.

"You wanna suck my dick, or what?"

Adagio blinked, looked over, and saw that it was picking its teeth now, with a fingernail.
It was sitting forward, putting its weight behind a foot that had found its way to Adagio's coffee table. Again.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, I figure you wanna suck my dick, cause you picked me up instead of Buck."

"No."

"Well, why not? You're like a slut, right?"

No sooner had the words left its mouth did that mouth get slapped straight to the floor by Adagio's swift hand. Garble fell over in a heap, then looked up at Adagio through his dumb shock.

"Do you want to try calling me that again, boy?" Adagio hissed. Garble rubbed his cheek, picking himself up.

"Yeah, you know what? How about you get on your knees for me, slu--" The other cheek was struck, and Garble thudded against the floor once more.

The look of crumbling anger in his eye told Adagio precisely what kind of filth he was. He would bluster until the women in his life gave in or stabbed him with a kitchen knife. He was the type of stupid mutt that Adagio had taught young, naïve women to poison, lest they pay the ludicrous toll of being stuck with him until they went mad.

"Tch, typical bitches, don't know how to take a joke..." Garble spat, rubbing his cheek.

"They'll never find your body."

"Wha?"

"If you keep talking to me like that, they'll never find your body. You must not know me after all. I can kill you with a quick tune. I can snatch your soul and keep it in a bottle."

"I thought you said you weren't gonna suck my dick!"

"Stop talking. I'm feeling magnanimous tonight, so here's what's going to happen. I am going to have my snack, and then, if I'm feeling especially generous, I'll allow you to stay the night." Adagio's frown softened a bit. If she decided to kill this creature in cold blood, there would surely be an investigation, and she couldn't go tarnishing her new reputation already. Not on a whim.

"Uh, I gotta be at the fair tomorrow, like early."

"Are you asking me for a ride, when I just told you to stop talking?" Adagio's eyes flashed red.

"Uhhh..." Garble slurred. Adagio felt a familiar ache behind her eyeballs. It would be too much effort to scare the life out of him for a little treat. Adagio sighed, then pushed him back down to the floor with the tip of her foot before sitting in his lap.

"Listen, filthy human. I know that there must be a single sensible thought in your little head that's telling you not to pass on this opportunity. You will never get another chance like this again, so, I'm only going to ask you once; do you want me?" Adagio said. She put forth a great deal of will and managed to give a salacious grin as she lifted her shirt.

Garble looked at her naked breasts like a starving dog. He nodded.

"Then, that will have to do." Adagio opened her mouth and a stream of reddish-black mana coursed into her. When she finished, the urchin had passed out. He tasted like cough syrup and angst, and he had an erection. Disgusting.

Adagio rose, and after tossing a sheet over the idiot sleeping on her floor, she patted herself on the back. So far, that was the nicest that she'd managed to be while draining a man in this city.

As she laid back in her cushy bed, Adagio regarded the spot that was empty. Buck had only laid there a few times, but Adagio identified that spot as His, and that thought struck a chord of deep, depressing fear in her. She grabbed the pillow that had smelled of him and hugged it to her chest until she finally slept.

It was eight in the morning and Buck was trying to enjoy his breakfast. It wasn't much of a breakfast, since it was a cup of coffee with a couple of sugar cubes in it, but Buck had decided the previous night to save room for the high carb fair food that would surely present itself to him.

At this ungodly hour, which was to say any hour before 11 pm, Buck was waiting patiently for the party to assemble. He could hear the frantic giggling of Dinky Doo from next door; a sure sign that she was making the act of getting dressed for the fair into a humorously troublesome task for her mother. Buck was determined to not explode today. Unfortunately, the pins and needles that Buck had been walking on through his peaceful time with Ditzy Doo left him feeling a lot like an overfilled water balloon.

Buck was so focused on visualizing the day ahead that he didn't notice his front door had opened. A head of purple hair plopped into his lap, startling him half-awake.

"Morning, Buck! You're up earlier than I thought you'd be!"

"Well, to be fair, I'm only mostly awake." Buck yawned. He scritched gently at Scoot's scalp as she smiled up at him. "Where's your outfit? Didn't you say you were gonna dress up?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, I got my suitcase right here!" Scoots sprung from Buck's lap, unlatched a rolling suitcase with a bunch of stickers of skate brands on it, and then without even skipping a beat, started taking her shirt off.

"Woah, woah, woah! Don't do that in here!" Buck said. Scoots paused, smirked at Buck, and gave her hips a little wiggle.

"Why not? You've already seen everything, Buck." Scoots snickered. She had come wearing jean shorts, and Buck distressingly remembered in that instant that he liked jean shorts on pixie builds.

"Chill out on that, okay? Just do it in my bedroom."

"But I wanna cuddle! I can't do that in the bedroom!"

"Then change at the fair! What's the rush?" Buck said. Scoots laid back onto the couch and his lap.

"Sorry, I guess Adagio got me too used to bein' cozy with you."

"...how is she, by the way? Have you delivered to her, or anything?"

"Just once this week, and she didn't really have anything to say. She seemed fine."

"Okay."

"Are you okay, Buck? You're doing that look you do when you're trying to figure out small change." Scoots said. She tilted her head to let Buck's nails get behind her ear, then closed her eyes and sighed.

Buck couldn't remember when they'd gotten all touchy-feely, it just seemed natural. Kinda reminded him of hanging with Sunburst back in college. Lot of cuddle puddles back then.

"I'm a little stressed, I guess. I really, really wanna have a nice, relaxing date without any major crap-ups. And, you know there's the usual."

"The usual?"

"Yeah! Look, Ditzy is, she's amazing, alright? But she's straight laced and she hasn't really seen the parts of me that you have, you know?"

"You mean the nerd parts or the 'spur of the moment threeway' parts?"

"That was Adagio's idea!"

"Yeah, but you agreed to it!"

"The point is, Ditzy and I have a different relationship than Adagio and I had. It's slower, and more cuddly and more..."

"Vanilla?"

"I just...I want Ditzy to like me, you know? She works so damn hard and she deserves someone that isn't this...situation that she has to deal with. I wanna have a good time with her, without any distractions."

"Huh. Well, if you don't want her to be distracted, you should probably do something about this." Scoots said. She poked at Buck's crotch, which was right next to her face. At some point, a bulge had appeared there.

"God damn it, Scoots. I have been trying really damn hard to not give Ditzy the impression that I'm horny all the time!" Buck whispered.

"But...you are, aren't you?" Scoots said, incredulously.

"Well, sure, but Ditzy isn't! I don't wanna scare her off! It's...look, a lot of girls just don't go for that sorta energy, and Ditzy is sweet and gentle. I wanna treat her like a lady, you know?"

"I guess that makes sense." Scoots shrugged. Her eyes darted to Buck's bulge again, then seemed to shine with mischief. "Do you...want me to take care of that before she gets over here with Dinky?"

"What?"

"I'll be real quick, I promise!" Scoots said. She gave Buck's crotch a gentle squeeze, biting her lip. A distant voice in Buck's head screamed through a megaphone to let her jerk him off.

"Scoots, you...you do realize that what you and I have is platonic, right?" Buck said. Scoots was nuzzling against his crotch, just a bit, but she stopped and blinked and then nodded.

"Well, yeah, of course."

"Okay, I'm glad we got that cleared up." Buck said. He started scratching at Scoot's scalp again. He let out a breath and relaxed.

"But, platonic sex is totally a thing, bro, and we're both a little pent up, so maybe you can grab my head and..." Scoots said, tugging at Buck's zipper. Buck felt the urge to just go with the flow, but he pushed past it.

"Scoots, stop. We're not doin' that, okay?" Buck did indeed grab Scoot's head, but he pulled it insistently away from his crotch. He saw Scoots blush deep as she looked up into his eyes.

"Okay. Sorry." She whimpered.

"I'm flattered Scoots, really I am, but things're different with me and Ditzy. I really don't think she'd be alright with this."

"Alright with what? Is everything okay in...uh?"

Buck looked over and saw the door ajar, with Ditzy standing in it. She was wearing a forest green thing that looked about sixty percent apron and forty percent dress over a white blouse. She was also staring dumbfounded as Scoots lifted her head out of Buck's lap.

Buck and Scoots looked at each other for a horrible eternity in a second, then Scoots looked frantically at Ditzy.

"We weren't doing anything!" She panicked. Ditzy looked at Buck with a dubious deadpan, and Buck shook his head.

"...Uh huh. Buck, could you help Dinky with her hair?"

"Oh, sure, no problem! Hey, uh, Scoots, didn't you say you were about to go get changed for the fair?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's right! I was going to go and do that! Get changed, over in your bedroom, haha!" Scoots fumbled her way out of the living room, dragging her suitcase along, leaving Buck to sit awkwardly under Ditzy's gaze.

"....should I be worried, Buck?"

Boy oh boy, he thought. There's a whole essay of answers to that question.

"No, Ditzy, it wasn't what it looked like. We were cuddling. Is that...is cuddling okay? Because if its not, I can tell Scoots." Buck said, putting his hands up.

"Buck, it's alright. I trust you. Okay? Gimmie a hug." Ditzy stepped over to Buck, and as he rose, she embraced him tenderly. Buck felt the weight of the world slide off his shoulders. After a moment, Buck squeezed Ditzy and sighed.

"I really thought I'd fucked everything up just now."

"Language, Buck. You didn't do anything wrong. I mean, look, I had to watch Adagio grab your crotch and walk around here with no bra on. I'm not worried about Scootaloo." Ditzy chuckled but stopped when Buck's face left her shoulder. She noticed the wetness in his eyes and frowned. "It's okay. Don't stress out, alright?"

"Can I kiss you, Ditzy?"

"Sure you can, Buck! Why do you ask?"

"'cause I love you, Ditzy Doo."

It was a soft, almost feathery touch of the lips that made Ditzy Doo thirst for a thousand more just like it, but then Buck pulled back and touched his forehead to hers.

"Hey...we're going to have a fun day, you know?"

"Yeah."

"So don't freak out, okay?"

"Okay." Buck said. His thoughts stumbled as he realized he was holding Ditzy by the waist, and her very generous bust was pressed up against his chest.

Suddenly, he was thinking of being on top of Ditzy, with his bed beneath her, treating her to the same deep, hot kisses that she had used to confess to him. The sound of her sweet little whines as she opened her legs to let him grind against her, the warmth of her breath by his ear, pleading with him to do more.

He let Ditzy go and stepped back just in time for Dinky to rush into the room, dressed like an ancient Yak dignitary, complete with a plastic axe.

"I wanna beard!" She declared.

"...I'll go get the hair ties."

Far enough to escape the noise of the city but not quite the glare of the skyline, a newly repainted sports car pulled into a small field of loose gravel that was a parking lot in name only. Across the static sea of dusty cars, a nostalgic gate of brick and mortar sang at Adagio with the jocular murmur of a crowd. People in various states of costume stepped out of their conveyance, laughing and jingling in mail and cloaks and silly hats.

It reminded Adagio of Canterlot during her Academy days; a memory that tasted like a pleasantly sharp wine.

"You're welcome, by the way." Adagio said, turning the car off. To her right sat the creature that she had learned was named Garble. He was failing miserably at acting nonchalant. Adagio guessed it was because he couldn't remember what had happened after she lifted her shirt last night.

"Huh?"

"You're welcome, for the ride to whatever this is."

"It's called a Ren Faire. It's a place where nerds go to do nerd shit."

"Charming. Are you going to get out of my car?"

"You got places to be?"

"No, I'd simply rather be doing anything else."

"I'm here to see my sister. She really, really wanted to hang here, probably 'cause she knows I hate this shit." Garble spoke in a mumble that tasted of sour grapes.

"How spiteful. She sounds like a delight." Adagio said, rolling her eyes.

"Ugh, it's going to be such a drag. You know, I thought you would wanna be here."

"Why would you think that?"

"'cuz Buck, the fuckin' nerd, is gonna be here. He was talking to Ditzy about it in the hall like a day ago."

Realization just about struck a heart murmur into Adagio's chest. Garble was one of their neighbors, otherwise, he wouldn't be allowed to loiter around their apartment complex. He knew them distantly and likely passed by their doors from time to time. The claim was feasible.

"Are you entirely certain about that?" Adagio said. She caught Garble's smirk from the corner of her eye.

"Pretty sure. You guys hung out for a while, right? Watching dumbass cartoons, or whatever? Pretty shitty for Buck to infect a hottie like you with nerd-ness...ow!" Garble said. The skin on the back of his reaching hand was painfully pinched by Adagio before he could touch her thigh.

"Let's make a deal, human boy. I've decided to take a look around this place. I'd like to pay Buck a visit and catch up a bit. We've both been terribly busy lately, and I haven't seen him. I'll allow you to accompany me, since you're obviously terrified of seeing your sibling. You can quietly relax at my side and abstain from touching me while you work up the nerve."

"What do I get out of it?"

"I'll purchase you lunch, if I must."

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Excellent. Now stop sweating on my seat. We're heading in.

"You know they charge out the ass for admission, right?"

"Oh, that's cute."

"Woah, slow down there, hero! Don't leave us behind!" Buck called down the way.

The ren fair ended up being a very large recreational area populated with stubby cottages, kiosks, and stands. 'Thees' and 'Thous' and 'Fool of a Tooks' flew through the air, accompanied by the sounds of lutes and french horns and old drums.

Buck had entered the place feeling worried that he would get made fun of for not having a costume but the casual air of the place set him at ease. In fact, the smell of cooking meat and spilled booze reminded Buck of home as he jogged over a cobblestone bridge astride a babbling stream that ran through the heart of the festival.

The only thing Buck could see of the seven-year-old child he was supposed to be looking after were the horns on her helmet bouncing excitedly as she buzzed around a stall selling some bizarre bone crafts. She paused at a frame flanking a spooky portrait just long enough for Buck scoop her up in his arms.

"Gotcha, ya little battering ram!"

"Buck, Buck, lookit all the bones! Lookit the glass stuff over there!"

"Okay, okay, how 'bout you just sit on my shoulders and point where to go?"

"Okie dokie!" Dinky said, and then without hesitation, she climbed Buck like a rock wall, letting her blonde hair, which had been tastefully braided and tied into a beard dangle in his face.

Once she got settled on Buck's shoulders, Dinky looked over the heads of the fair-goers, but suddenly gawked in awe at an enchanting sight.

In the shade of a lacey black parasol strode a petite woman with alabaster white skin. Her shoulder-length hair was blood red with a black streak through it, a large pitch-colored bow at the back of her head. She was in a gothic bustier above a red skirt; an outfit that accentuated the curves of her hips and potbelly more than hide them. The crowd parted in her wake until she came upon Buck, who smirked at her with a strange familiarity.

"Ooh...pretty..." Dinky said.

"Is that you, Purple Prose? What brings you to such a colorful place? Are you here taking care of your...daughter?" The woman said, in a voice like smooth dark wine.

"No, Madame Lilith, I'm actually on the way to, well..." Buck said, then he beckoned her over to speak in her ear.

"A date, with her mother. Not the paid kind, either." Buck whispered.

"Oh. Oh! I hope I'm not intruding?"

"It's fine. How's the trade?"

"Busy." The lady smiled.

"Good to hear."

"I learned from the best, now didn't I?" The woman flashed a fanged grin.

"Alright, alright. You don't wanna be seen talking to a pleb like me, right? You've got a reputation now!" Buck laughed.

"Oh, if you insist."

"There you guys are! Man, she really gets going, doesn't she?" Scoots huffed. She was now wearing a dark hooded cloak with a pair of fuzzy ears on her head and cute little wings on her back. There was a bead of sweat rolling down her face, a testament to the fact that dressing like a goth furry at the top of summer was a terrible idea to commit to.

"Farewell, humble bard. I'll let you get back to your 'quiet life'!" Said the gothic beauty. She waved at Buck over her shoulder, then clacked her way down the road.

"...Do you know her, Buck?" Scoots said, blushing at the woman's back.

"Oh man, that's a long story." Buck mused.*

Sunburst limped behind Scoots, gasping for breath in spite of the coolness of his breezy cape and wide-brimmed pointy hat.

"You are...distressingly good...at running through crowds!" Sunburst said, clapping a hand on Scoots' shoulder.

"Buck! Look, look, look! What's that!?" Dinky pointed over the crowd to a tower of stone that was all the way across the fair.

"That's...I think that's an actual medieval structure?" Buck said.

"It is! Sort of! That's a reproduction of a medieval turret attached to a welsh castle!" Sunburst said, catching his breath.

"Why?" Dinky said.

"It was built to protect the faire!"

"Why?"

"Well, the Canterlot Historical Society didn't like this space outside of town being used for wild historical anachronisms, and so they tried to shut the event down for having a lack of educational value. In response, the organizers started a fundraiser to erect an educational display, and they ended up raising enough money to put up this mock-up turret, with a little plaque that explains it! Now, the event can't be shut down, because it has both educational and functional significance!"

"Why?"

"Well, it was an act of community pettiness meant to get the CHS off the faire's back, and let people have their fun!"

"Why?"

"Because...because the faire is fun!"

"Why?"

"Sunburst. Sunburst, she can do this all day."

"That's alright! I can answer all day, right Dinky?"

"Yaaaaay! Buck, go over there! I wanna go see mama!"

"Alrighty, Dinky, here we go!" Buck said. He skipped back across the cobblestone bridge, making sounds that were sort of like farts and sort of like coconuts banging together that Sunburst started to understand were supposed to be the clopping of hooves.

Down the way, Ditzy Doo looked around a customer and waved.

"Well, aren't they precious together." Sunburst smiled, walking alongside Scoots. Scoots saw he was slouching more than usual, and his smile left just as quickly as it came.

"Yeah...she really looks like she could be his kid, right?"

"Well, that, but I meant Buck and Ditzy. I haven't seen Buck look so happy since before the fiasco with the shoggoth."

"I know what you mean. He almost looks weird, smiling that much," Scoots chuckled. "How come you're all down today? I thought you'd really like it here?"

"...It's Starlight. She said she would show up later, but I just know she's working on something. I've been trying to get her to relax for ages, but it only seems to make her work even more.

"Eh, well, she's kind of a downer, anyway." Scoots shrugged. Sunburst stopped and frowned at her for a moment, then sighed.

"She wasn't always." He said as they approached Ditzy's stand.

Ditzy sat beneath a wooden sign that read "Bubble Troubles' Costume Baubles". In front of her was a delightfully small pile of necklaces, bracelets, and rings that she had put her heart and soul into.

As Buck carried Dinky through the crowd, he heard a pair of ladies who had just passed the booth whispering something about lazy eyes and charity, but he paid it no mind. Ditzy was smiling and cracking her back, and her eyes lit up as she saw her daughter bobbing toward her over the crowd.

"Mama, mama! There's a bunch of bones over there!" Dinky said, to her Mother's wincing smile.

"That's neat, Dinky! What else did you see?"

"There's um, there's a big rock thingy! Sunburst said it's uh...hiss...his..."

"Sound it out. His-tor...?" Buck started.

"Historical!"

"Alright, Dinky! Up top!" Buck held up a hand above his head and Dinky slapped his palm. "How's the stand goin', Ditzy?"

"Well not amazing...but better than I expected for my first time doing the jewelry stuff!" Ditzy said.

"Whaaat? First time!? But these look super real!" Scoots said, hands on the counter. Her eyes flitted over the glittering, painted decorations.

"Well, I don't wanna toot my own horn, but I can do other stuff than delivering treats! So, uh, toot toot!" Ditzy pumped her fist like she was pulling a truck's horn, and put on a satisfied smirk that melted Buck's heart.

"Mama, does that mean we can go to the zoo!?" Dinky squealed.

"I don't wanna promise..." Ditzy said, morosely.

"Ohh..." Dinky deflated.

"But another day like this and we'll definitely be able to go!" Ditzy brightened.

"Yaay! I'm gonna see the sloths! They go like this!" Everyone watched with rapt attention while Dinky sluggishly mimed out a sloth reaching for a branch, except of course the tree she was climbing on was Buck, and the branch was the post of Ditzy's stand. Buck quickly, almost frantically got an arm under her to stop her from falling, then shared a smile with Ditzy.

"I just don't get how you made these look so good, Ditzy! Hey, are you sure you're not secretly using magic on these?" Scoots giggled. Buck made a quick neck-cutting motion in Scoot's direction, but it was too late. A scowl had arrived on Ditzy's face.

"Heeey, okay, Scoots, how about you and Sunburst go take Dinky for a bit while me and Ditzy catch up, huh? Ditzy, you're about to close up for the day, yeah?" Buck said, lowering Dinky to the ground.

"That's right! Do you want to help me shut down the stall, Buck?" Ditzy said. "You could put the wares away while I go get changed." Ditzy said, her gentle smile returning.

"Oh sure. One sec. Hey, Dinky? I've got a mission for ya!" Buck said.

"A mission!? What kinda mission?"

A quest fit for a brave and noble yak! But it's a secret, so I need to whisper it to ya. C'mere." Buck kneeled down, held a hand up to Dinky's ear, and Ditzy watched the little cosplayer nod so excitedly that her helmet nearly toppled over. Then Buck rose and handed Sunburst something from his pocket. A brotherly smile followed, and then Scoots and Sunburst scrambled after Dinky, who had already started wandering off.

"What was all that about?" Ditzy said.

"Huh? Oh, a little insurance. I told Dinky to go find you a gift 'befitting a master craftsman', then gave Sunburst some dollars to make it happen. I told Dinky to make it a surprise, though. Knowing your daughter, she'll be at this for the rest of the day, and she'll be all sneaky about it." Buck smiled.

"Uh huh? But why, though?"

"'Well, you said you wanted it to just be the two of us after you closed the stall. I wanted to make sure I got my main squeeze all to myself." Buck said. His hand found the small of Ditzy's back, and his lips kissed her shoulder.

"Oh, that's sneaky, Buck!" Ditzy giggled.

"Nah, it's just psychology. Everybody wants to be trusted, you know?"

"Mhm...can I trust you to gather all of this stuff in my suitcase and lock it up while I go change in that booth over there?" Ditzy said.

"Sure thing." Buck turned to go, but Ditzy caught his hand. Buck looked back and saw her staring at the ground.

"Buck...you're a big sweetheart, and I really love that about you." Ditzy managed to say.

"Maybe you just bring out the best in me, Muffin." Buck said. He kissed the back of her hand and then got to work on the booth. Once Ditzy turned her back, Buck let out the breath he was holding.

"So what the heck was that about?" Scoots said. She and Sunburst stood and watched as Dinky Doo stared at a kiosk full of medieval weapons. The expression on her face was like a philosopher in an art museum. That is to say, Sunburst and Scoots couldn't tell what she was thinking, but it was probably profound in a very unique way.

"What was what about?"

"Why did Buck cut me off when I joked about--" Sunburst shook his head quickly, then tilted it at Dinky, who was now showering the proprietor of the stall with questions about maces and hammers. "Okay, so it's not just Buck. What's the deal?"

"Did Buck not tell you? Ditzy hates anything to do with magic." Sunburst whispered.

"Oh, right. But, uhh...but Buck is magic. How's that gonna work?"

"I think she's accepted that, well Starlight said so, but she doesn't want Dinky involved with any magic, which is fair, considering how dangerous it all is." Sunburst said.

"I guess its none of my business...but Dinky loves all this fantasy stuff! Don't you think she should know about magic? It's only a matter of time until she finds out, right?"

"Well, I'm sure Ditzy will tell Dinky about it when she's ready. It's best if we keep things as normal as possible until then. Hey, Dinky? Those might be a little expensive, and I don't think your Mom would want a mace!" Sunburst said.

"Nuh-uh! Mama really likes knitting, and cooking and and hitting stuff! And dancing!"

"Hitting stuff?"

"Mama is good at hitting stuff with other stuff!" Dinky huffed.

"Huh. Well, Dinky, this stuff is pretty far out of our price range. Why don't we go get a piece of art, or something? Maybe a pretty figurine or a candle, or something?"

"But mama can make that stuff!" Dinky pouted.

"Well, how about looking for something she can't make?"

"Mama can make anything!"

"Okay, well how about something pretty she can wear?"

"Yeah! Thassa good idea!" Dinky grabbed Sunburst and Scoots' hands and started pulling them insistently down the road. As they turned a corner together, Scoots collided with what she thought was a mirror for a second.

"You okay, little dude?" Said a raspy but feminine voice.

It was a woman with dark orange skin, purple hair with blonde streaks, and cyan eyes. She was a bit taller than Scoots, and sturdier since Scoots seemed to bounce off her. She had a bit of a snaggletooth poking out of the corner of her mouth. She was dressed up like a fairytale princess; complete with a sapphire-colored dress, conical hat, and ribbon. She was also equipped with what looked like a pair of yellow horns on either side of her head, some long, thin wings, and a purple tufted tail, all made of shiny orange fabric.

"Sorry, my bad!" Scoots said. The woman offered a hand, then hauled Scoots to her feet in one motion.

"No, no, it was my bad! I wasn't looking where I was going, like at all."

"Are you like...a dragon princess?"

"Well, yeah! Hey, wait, are you a batpony!? That's so cute!"

"CUTE!?" Scoots looked as if she'd been slapped across the face.

"Totally! Those fuzzy wings and those ears are super adorable!"

"I, bu-bu-but, I'm not, I, I got these knives, and...cute!?" Scoots stammered. Sunburst put a hand on her shoulder as Scoots worked through a small existential crisis.

"Princess!? You're a princess! Princesses give quests, and stuff, right? Right?" Dinky chirped.

"Uh, I guess? You know, I am having a problem right now."

"Is that so? I hope its nothing too serious?" Sunburst said.

"Nah, it's just my dumb brother. He was supposed to meet me here a couple of hours ago! We haven't gotten to hang out in a while, so today was going to be special. Either he got lost, or he never showed up...

"Oh, oh! Is he a dragon prince!?" Dinky said.

"No, he's just a goofus." The princess laughed.

"Can we help? Can we help!?" Dinky bounced over to Sunburst with a pleading expression. Sunburst looked to Scoots, who was still zoned out, then thought of how Buck wanted to keep Dinky occupied.

"Well, I don't see why not?" What do you say, Scoots?"

"Uh, yeah! We'll help! Just...don't call me cute!" Scoots recovered. The dragon princess smirked knowingly.

"Yeah yeah yeah yeah!" Dinky said. "I'm Dinky, and I'm a yak!"

"Of course you are! That beard proves it!" Smolder laughed, but then her voice flipped into a trilling, theatrical accent. "I'm dragon princess Smolder, and I bequeath to you a mission of the utmost importance, Dinky the yak! I would like you and your noble band to help me track down my butthead older brother Garble, who better be around here somewhere, or I'm gonna deck him!" She said, with an elegant curtsy.

Dinky bowed, as did Sunburst, and after staring at Smolder like she was some newly discovered tropical bird, Scoots followed suit.

"Wait, did you say Smolder? Oh, wow, I can't believe I didn't recognize you!" Sunburst smiled, lifting the brim of his hat.

"Huh? Is that...is that Sunburst? Oh my gosh, dude, what're you doing here!?"

"You guys know each other?" Scoots said, taking Dinky's hand again before she could wander off.

"Yeah, we were pals back at the San Franciscolt College of the Arts, before he ran off to Canterlot to be a big shot undergrad!" Smolder said.

"Oh, sweet! What was your major?" Scoots said.

"Cartography." Smolder said.

"That doesn't sound like an art degree."

"Map making is an art form!" Smolder shouted. Some of the people walking past stopped for a second to gawk, but Smolder waved them off.

"We used to play tabletop games together." Sunburst smiled.

"Oh man, that must've been wild!" Scoots said. "You got any crazy war stories?"

"Like you wouldn't believe! Back then, it was Buck that ran the games; usually a different system every few weeks." Sunburst said.

"That sounds nuts!" Scoots said.

"Oh, Smolder, do you remember when we did Shadowrun? Er...without the uh, chunky salsa bits?" Sunburst said, tilting his head at Dinky, who was marveling at a nearby stall filled with jangling wind chimes.

"Hm? Oh, right, the kid. Yeah. Hey, Scoots, right? You ever heard of an insect spirit?"

Across the fair, Buck sat awkwardly on a wooden bench next to a row of striped tents. By the time he'd finished cleaning up the booth, stowing the wares, and locking the suitcase, Ditzy was already in the middle of changing. Actually, it was taking longer than he expected it would. Must have been a really lacey corset, or something, Buck figured.

"Hey, Ditzy, can we talk?"

"I sure hope so, Buck!" Ditzy said, cheerily. Inside the tent, there was the jingling of a belt buckle.

"Do you, uh, need me to come in there and help you zip up?"

"Wha? No, no, that's um...I want it to be a surprise!" Ditzy said in a flustered voice.

"Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not tryin' to peep or anything!"

"No, no, that's fine, it's fine, I've got it!"

"Ditzy, I know you wanna keep Dinky safe from magic stuff and give her a normal life, but I don't know how I'm supposed to fit into that. I'm magic, Ditzy, and as long as I am, you two are in danger."

"Buck, it's fine. Starlight told me that she's going to...guh...help you learn to manage it. There're things you can do to protect from magic, I'm sure." Something thumped, and Ditzy said something adjacent to an expletive in response.

"You know Glimglam?"

"Oh, yeah, we go, uh, way back!" Ditzy groaned. Something latched together, and then there was a slight clanging that hit Buck with a wave of apprehension.

"Huh. How'd you meet?"

"Uh, well...look, Buck, I know you're worried, but its going to be fine. As long as you work to minimize your magic with Starlight and you just relax, I'm sure things will work out."

The word 'minimize' thudded onto a table in Buck's mind and put everything into focus. His magic was a curse that needed to be contained if he had any hope of being happy with Ditzy and Dinky. But he'd also been thinking about it for a bit. He remembered how the Rainbooms used their magic to solve problems, and even help people at times. He wondered if he could do the same, but he was terrified to bring this up to Ditzy. He didn't want to throw himself into an ocean of magical bullshit, but now it seemed he was in it from the start. The only thing to do was swim for the shore.

"I guess you're right. We came here to have fun, didn't we? No need to overthink it." Buck said, finally.

"That's right! And besides, no matter what happens, I'll be there for you. And you know what else, Buck?" Ditzy said.

"What's that, Ditzy?"

The tent flap rustled, and suddenly Buck was looking up at a leather breastplate, curved outward to accommodate an impressive bust. Beneath that was a light blue tabard, below which was a set of shining greaves. Above the breastplate, glimmering in the late daylight were a pair of rounded pauldrons and some arm armor that Buck didn't know the name of led down to a pair of leather gloves. A gorget sat between the shoulder plates, and above it was Ditzy's familiar face, the light streaming through her blonde locks like a halo. She held a hand out to him.

"No matter what happens, I'll protect you. You and Dinky. I promise." Ditzy smiled, and she blinked her off-center eyes, focusing on Buck, who slowly took her hand, mouth agape.

"You, uh...that's...I, holy moly, this's...huh...wow." Buck found that he had suddenly lost access to his personal lexicon of the kinds of adjectives that would help him articulate the new fetish that he was discovering at the moment. His heart started hammering, and he could feel his cheeks burning.

"Huh?"

"I just...I was, you know, I was mentally prepared for knights and stuff, even female knights, but this, well, well how could I be prepared for hot lady knight Ditzy Doo? That's not even fair, man." Buck said, fanning himself off.

"Really? I'm wearing more clothes than usual!"

"No, no, it's cool, it's fine, I'm cool." Buck said.

"Buck, you're turning red." Ditzy said. She was clearly worried, but she couldn't hide her smile as she touched Buck's cheek.

"I uh, you're...look, Ditzy, I'mma be real with you; you've been beautiful since the day I met you in high school, and the day I moved in next to you, and every day since we got together. You're beautiful every single day, Ditzy, and this is the most gorgeous I've ever seen you, and you're a knight? Like, have you been a templar this whole time? Is this assassin's creed?"

"What? No, Buck, I was in the fencing club in high school, remember?"

"I thought you were in the science club?"

"Well, yeah, but also the fencing club! I mean, after I graduated, I kept up the hobby over at the rec center, and then one thing led to another and I got this armor in a contest, but when I had Dinky, I just couldn't keep it up, so I put the armor in storage and just break it out when I do the faire!"

"Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh." Buck nodded and agreed.

"Did you get any of that?"

"Honestly? Not a lot. I got stuck on the image of you with, like a sword and shield on a horse and I got pretty lost there, sorry. Did I say you were pretty? You're super pretty like this."

"Aw, thank you! I um...I actually wanted to go do some knight stuff! You know, shoot some targets, axe throwing, maybe do some sparring?"

"That sounds super hot. I'm probably gonna have to sit down for that." Buck said, urgently.

"Well, I mean, we could relax and get something to eat, or go check out the theater stage, or watch some games, if that stuff sounds a little overwhelming."

"Nope. I'm pretty sure the only thing I ever want to look at is you swinging medieval weapons, for like the rest of my life." Buck said. Now Ditzy was at a loss for words, but after convincing herself that Buck didn't mean to sound like he was proposing, she decided to throw him a bone.

"You know, I could change out of this if its too much."

"Nope!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yep! I think I'm going to enjoy this...whole...situation as much as I can today." Buck said, gesturing broadly at Ditzy Doo.

"...okay then!" Ditzy reached into the booth and produced a duffle bag which clanked as it shifted. "Can you carry this for me, Buck? It's a little heavy."

"Anything for you, my lady." Buck simped. He took the bag and slung it over his shoulder, then almost toppled over from the swinging weight.

"My hero!" Ditzy giggled. She offered Buck her hand, and with no small amount of reverence, Buck took it and followed her lead.

For all the chaotic motley crew of this function, Adagio found a certain emotional clarity in the crowd. It seemed that from time to time, humans could indeed agree on something. In this case, it was gallivanting around in a wild clash of costumes from various historical and fictional settings for a weekend. The taste of the event was like honeyed mead; a cozy feeling that would swiftly grow intoxicating if over imbibed.

Unfortunately, the festive mood couldn't sink in, because she was sitting next to a loose jumble of thinly veiled anxiety. Garble had his arms crossed and had not stopped grumbling about "These dumb nerds and their dumb outfits. and their...jousts!"

Across from the tavern the two were sitting beside was a set of fenced-off rings with a sign before it that read "Proving Grounds". They were populated by people adorned with ancient armors lightly whacking each other with tools of war while spectators clapped and kept score. Garble rolled his eyes as a joust concluded with a man knocked clean off his eldritch abomination. Adagio could never truly get used to this world's horses.

"Will you stop your fussing and eat your shepherd's pie? You're like a moody infant." Adagio said, at last. Garble took a spoonful of the odd, rustic casserole.

"Stupid carny food..." He muttered.

Adagio hadn't seen any sign of Buck, but she could sense him. It was incredibly faint, but she had gotten used to Buck's particular assortment of flavors, even from a certain distance. He was here, somewhere, and he tasted like admiration and fluttering twitterpation. It was the same way he tasted the instant that Adagio told him she was taking him home with her on their first night, but something seemed a bit off.

"Somehow, somewhere in this mess, little Miss Ditzy Doo is sinking her claws into my Buck."

"What's your deal with him? Buck's a smart-aleck dork who thinks the whole world revolves aroun-who's got a big head and a little dick, but I didn't think he'd be dumb enough to kick you out?"

"He didn't kick me out. We're just taking a break."

"Dude, I've seen him and Ditzy. They kiss like my grandparents. It's gross. Seriously, what'd you do, look at his browser history? That why he dumped you?" Garble said, through another mouthful of food.

"He didn't dump me; he's been overly stressed due to all the goings-on, and so I generously decided to give him some space. Just like I generously chose to let you live to see today."

"Yeah...I totally scored last night, didn't I?"

"What did I tell you about talking?"

"It makes me sound stupid, I get it MOM."

"No, I told you to stop doing it. I'm trying to focus." Adagio closed her eyes and tried to fade the chaos away. She pushed aside the misty curtain of prickly anxiety just next to her and tried to track Buck's movement. He was getting closer, and at his side was a taste of trepidation buried under bemusement, jocularity, and...confidence. Had Buck arrived with someone besides Ditzy Doo? Adagio didn't think he had the heart to betray the simpering cow.

Adagio had just found the taste of a loud, childlike ball of energy bouncing around in the far background, but then her focus was shattered by a spike of emotion next to her.

"Oh, brilliant." Adagio said, rubbing her temples. Garble had cringed behind the table, crouching down, then after a moment, he came back up and attempted to sit in a relaxed, ambivalent manner.

"What? Why are you suddenly jumpy?"

"Nothin'. Thought I saw my sister."

"You're pathetic. Your sister is trying to reach out to you. What exactly are you so afraid of that you can't appreciate that?"

"You don't get it. As soon as she sees me, it's all; Stop leaving your bongos out, Gar Gar! You'll never get a girlfriend if you don't stop picking your teeth, Gar Gar! Leave the waitress alone, Gar Gar! On and on and on like she owns me, or something!" Garble said, aping a scratchy, feminine voice. "And then she wonders why I don't wanna call."

"Ah, I see. Even though your self-image is a funhouse mirror, she is determined to help you correct it. It's a very common affliction that plagues the women of this world."

"I know, right? When is she gonna learn to lay off?"

"Tell me something; what are you doing when you aren't being hounded by your sister?"

"Just bein' the most wanted man in Canterlot! Ladies can't resist the pearly whites!"

"I see. So you don't have much in the way of aspirations. Have you considered that she smothers you because she doesn't want you to continue being a disaster?"

"Hey, you can't mess with perfection! She's gotta learn that one of these days."

"If you learned to stand for something, or anything rather, she might have a harder time walking all over you, that's all I'm saying." Adagio said, idly. Garble started stammering and posturing, or that's what it sounded like as Adagio tuned him out.

"Yes, yes, very interesting..." Adagio ignored Garble to the best of her ability, squinting through the crowd of fair-goers until her vigilance finally paid off.

"So my street sam is now covered in gross, swinging her axe, riding a motorcycle that's mostly on fire. Lone Star shows up with their crazy armored van, and they're obviously gonna wanna gun us down for the building we destroyed, even though we cut down the shaman!" Smolder said.

"And then what happened!? Scoots said. Just down the way, a very patient merchant was presenting a necklace of shimmering jewels to Dinky, who shook her head. Sunburst smiled and pointed to another, less expensive piece of jewelry.

"Whaddya think? We didn't get into this business because we wanted to live forever! So I hit the gas and arm the C4 I've got in the sidecar!

"Oh geez!"

"I know I'm gonna take all these guys out at once, but Buck says I gotta roll to get off the bike in time. So I roll to get clear..."

"And?"

"Critical Glitch." Smolder smiled. "My street sam's boot gets caught on the handlebar as she jumps, and the last thing anybody heard was her screaming 'WITNESS MEEEE!' before the street corner exploded. And that was the first time I think I ever saw Buck cry from laughing at the table! It was the best and dumbest way I've ever lost a character!" Smolder laughed.

"Haha! I did it!" Dinky held a little box out in front of her, smiling wide. It had been wrapped with gold foil and a bright red ribbon.

"Good job, Dinky! That's one quest down!" Scoots said, giving Dinky a low five.

Scoots was glad for a reprieve from Smolder's funny but deeply horrifying story about fighting people possessed by evil bug ghosts tearing up Seattle. It wasn't so much that Smolder was a bad storyteller, but it sounded like she and Sunburst had experienced a million adventures with Buck that Scoots could never know about, and that made her feel a bit hollow.

"What made you pick that gift, Dinky?" Sunburst said.

"It's a secret! Shh! Now we just gotta find the dragon prince, and then we can go see mama and Buck!" Dinky cheered.

"Oh yeah, Buck! Is he...is he around?" Smolder said.

"Huh? Yeah, totally." Scoots said. "He's here hanging out with his..." Scoots looked over and saw that Dinky was now humming a little victory tune with her eyes closed. "...girlfriend. Dinky's mom. Don't worry; that's not his kid!" Scoots whispered.

"Oh, okay. He's here with his girlfriend. That he has. Got it." Smolder said, nodding slowly. Scoots looked to Sunburst for guidance, but he just shook his head.

"Hey, how'd you meet Buck, Smolder?" Scoots said.

"You can probably guess." Sunburst snickered, then stopped when he saw the blind fury that had crossed Smolders' eyes.

"It's embarrassing..." Smolder said.

"No, it isn't! Smolder noticed Buck after he won a short story contest put on by the school newsletter. He didn't realize she was following him around until a month later when I pointed it out. Turns out Smolder was a geek in denial, and Buck being, well, Buck, helped her to sort things out for herself." Sunburst recited. Actually, now that I think about it, Smolder called Buck big brother for a whole year! Hey, actually, why did you stop calling him that?" Sunburst said. Smolder cracked him in the ribs, then.

"I dunno, Sunburst, why don't you tell everybody how you met Buck, huh?"

"Oh, come on, that's an actually embarrassing story!" Sunburst wheezed.

"Ooh, ooh, I wanna hear it!" Dinky said.

"Oooooh...ehhh, that's not a story for kids." Smolder said.

"Dangit..." Dinky pouted.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter. All that stuff happened a million years ago!"

"It was more like four years ago." Sunburst corrected.

"A zillion years ago! Hey, did Buck ever get any less oblivious?"

"Nah." Scoots said.

"No." Sunburst shook his head.

"Uh-uh." Dinky smiled.

"Some things never change. Alright, so now we've got my actual big bro to find! Any ideas, team?"

"Well, it would help if we knew his name, and what he looks like? I never even knew you had an older brother." Sunburst said.

"He's kind of a butt. But he means well, eh, sorta. His name is Garble; he's a little taller than you, Sunburst. Red skin, freckles, orange blonde?" Scoots and Sunburst looked at each other in shock.

"Garble!? You're related to that scuzzball!?" Scoots said.

"Yeah!"

"Messed-up front teeth? Calls everyone a nerd or a dork?"

"Yeah! Why?"

"But you're so cool! And he's so lame! I've only ever seen him do two things; hanging around in the hallway catcalling girls or doing the same thing with a joint in the parking lot!" Scoots said.

"That sounds like him, yeah."

"I'm surprised, Smolder. You don't seem all that offended by us talking about your brother in the pejorative." Sunburst said.

"Well, I mean, all that stuff you said is probably true. Look, you can't choose your family, right? Garble's not really a bad guy, he just needs to do a little growin' up, that's all." Smolder shrugged. "I try to visit him every once in awhile and maybe straighten him out a little, ya know?"

"Straighten him? He's the most typical straight guy I've ever seen." Scoots grimaced.

"Hey, now! I resemble that remark!" Sunburst said.

"Come on, Sunburst, you barely count! Starlight is basically a guy!"

"What? No she isn't! She's just a bit abrasive sometimes!"

"Same thing."

"Wait, Starlight? Sunburst, did you actually manage to hook up with that girl you were always blabbing about after class!? I thought she was made up!"

"I'll have you know that she is very real and very caring when you get to know her!" Sunburst said.

"Pssh, yeah, she's caring all right. She cares a whole bunch about fighting monsters and stalking Adagio." Scoots said.

"Who's Adagio?" Smolder said.

"Don't you watch the news?"

"Nah, it's too depressing."

"Oh geez. Well, it's like, like she's this super villain that Buck dated for a little while, and it was fun, and stuff, but turns out she was just using him, so they had a fight, I guess and, well, it's complicated. Buck could tell it better." Scoots said.

"What? Buck? In the middle of some ridiculous trouble that he blindly wandered into? Who could imagine!?" Smolder laughed. Sunburst took his nose out of the air and laughed right alongside her, until they noticed that Dinky was once again charging down the way, yelling the word 'bathroom' at the top of her lungs.

"Dinky! Man, we need to put a bell on that kid. Wait up!" Scoots broke into a quick sprint, with Smolder lifting her dress to trot along, and Sunburst bringing up the rear.

Buck decided a few things in short order. He was definitely going to jerk off to the thought of Ditzy Doo in armor once he got home, and he never wanted to eat anything besides roasted turkey leg for the rest of his life. He found it increasingly difficult to relax as he watched Ditzy do her thing.

Sweat was beading on Ditzy's brow as she pulled an arrow back, shutting one eye. Buck saw her draw in a deep breath, and then the arrow thudded just off-center on a bull's-eye some twenty feet away. Buck clapped as Ditzy retrieved her arrows, most of which were in the grass around the target. Ditzy gave a short and embarrassed bow.

"Shooting is the hardest thing for me. I mean, with my eye, you can imagine..."

"Actually, I can't."

"Hm?"

"I can't imagine anything being harder than I am now, from watching you." Buck said. He saw Ditzy cover her mouth and suddenly turn back into the blushing demure woman that liked to sit next to him on the couch.

"Oh, shit, shit, I said that out loud, didn't I!?" Buck said. "Sorry, I don't mean no disrespect, Ditzy!" Buck waved his hands, nearly dropping his turkey leg.

Across the field and out of their eyeshot, Adagio rolled her eyes. Ditzy's red-faced bashfulness gave way to bubbly humor, and a familiar warmth in her stomach as she giggled her way over to Buck, who tasted like a covered pot about to boil over.

"Ugh. It only makes sense that she would wear the trappings of a knight. She's a goody-two shoes." Adagio grumbled.

Ditzy leaned on the other side of the fence, her back to Adagio as she talked to Buck.

"It's fine, Buck. I'm just surprised! Since when are you into girls showing off? I thought you didn't like Rainbow Dash?"

"Huh? Oh, no, it's not 'cause she showed off all the time, it's 'cause she was mean to me. I like seein' people in their element. I just didn't know yours was doin' sexy lady knight stuff." Buck said.

"I guess I'm not as boring as you thought, hm?" Ditzy smiled.

"I never thought you were boring, Ditzy!" Buck said, finishing his turkey leg in one bite.

"Well, how come you never invite me to stuff, Buck?"

"I dunno, you're usually busy. I don't wanna cut into your free time when you could be resting. You've always got things going on, you know?" Buck reached into the duffle bag at his side and passed Ditzy a clean towel and a water bottle.

"I guess that's true. But...you know, if you asked me, I'd make time for you." Ditzy took Buck's hand.

"Sure! But I don't want you to feel like ya have to. You do plenty for me already." Buck frowned.

"You wanna come in here and swing somethin' around, Buck?" DItzy brightened up.

"Here? In front of all these people?" Buck chuckled.

"Wha-no! I mean a weapon! Do you like swords?"

"Eh, axes're cooler than swords. Besides, I'm more of a lover than a fighter." Buck said.

"Could'a fooled me..." Ditzy muttered.

"Huh?"

"I said, um, you could've fooled me, the way you were swinging that axe on TV!" Ditzy recovered.

"Yeah, fat lot of good that did."

"Well...what do you want to do next?" Ditzy said. Buck could think of a few things that he was sure would offend Ditzy.

"...whatever you want to do?"

"Buck, what's wrong?"

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong! Did I do something wrong?"

"No, Buck!"

"Hey, didn't you say you wanted to do a spar, or something? How does that work?"

"Oh, like this! Hey! Yeah, you over there with the spear!" Ditzy shouted over Buck's shoulder. Buck craned his neck and saw someone in a full set of dull-looking armor point at their closed visor in surprise. They held a pike; a sort of elongated spear with a fine point.

"Yeah! You wanna go a round?" Ditzy said. The armor set flapped a hand nervously. "Don't be shy! I'm a little rusty anyways! It'll be friendly!" Buck noticed that Ditzy was good a projecting. A quick question of whether or not she was a screamer darted past the back of his mind.

The spear knight shrugged, but Ditzy's smile seemed to win him over. He walked through the gate, and a person in a yellow tabard, holding a black and yellow striped rod stepped into the arena behind him.

"Friendlies?" Said the lady that Buck assumed was going to be the ref. Ditzy nodded. "Best of three?" The spear knight gave a thumbs up. He was almost a head taller than Ditzy. "Weapons?"

The spear knight made a gesture that seemed a little sarcastic at the weapon in his hand. Ditzy reached into the duffle bag and carefully pulled out a smallish sword in a sheath. Ditzy smiled at Buck and pointed the sheath, so he held it in both hands as she drew it.

"What kind of sword is that?"

"Arming sword. It's like a side arm; for backup. Can you get my shield?" Ditzy said, turning around. Buck had honestly not noticed she was carrying this round shield on her back, probably because he'd been staring at her front and face.

Buck handed it to her and saw that it was about wide enough to cover her torso.

"What's with the bubbles embroidered on the front?"

"Oh, hah, they used to call me Bubble Trouble during practice!" Ditzy smiled.

"Why's that?"

"I think it was because of my bubbly personality! Or because I kept knockin' stuff over, who knows? Wish me luck? They look kinda tough." Buck reached, and Ditzy's hand found his. He kissed the back of her glove, thought about it, then pulled her in and kissed her cheek.

"Good luck, Muffin."

Adagio smirked as Ditzy Doo, her least favorite dairy cow, armed herself and stood across the field from a slender brute with a spear.

"This should be fun. She's gotten a bit of a big head lately, and it will be lovely to see her get sand kicked in her eyes in front of Buck."

"What? Ditzy? Nah, she's kind of a limp fish, but even I know she used to really go for it down at the rec. People in town used to talk about it." Garble yawned.

Adagio focused in on Ditzy. She tasted of trepidation still, but as she nodded to the referee and took her stance, her quiet, attractive confidence showed through. To Adagio, it tasted a bit like chicken parmesan; a simple dish that, according to some of the magazines that Adagio perused, was an easy meal to prepare in order to impress a date.

"So, Miss Ditzy Doo has more in store than just a padded bra."

"She doesn't pad her bra." Garble said. He was lost in his phone, and therefore dodged the daggers in Adagio's eyes.

"Points are direct hits. It's best of five. No head shots!" Said the lady in yellow, holding her pole between the two combatants. Ditzy and the spear knight nodded solemnly, almost in unison. The lady looked to them both, then jerked the pole upward. "Go!"

Buck knew a thing or two about what it was for magical beings to clash; there was a lot of posturing and monologuing, and then some lasers or whatever would be shot back and forth until one side was defeated. A lot of the skirmishes that the Rainbooms had with villains were sort of like this, though Buck wasn't sure about the deal at Camp Everfree, since he was trapped inside a tent by vines and extraordinarily distracted.

There was always pageantry to it and a sense of weightlessness; like you had stepped into an anime reenactment complete with lasers and monologuing. This was different.

Buck could dance around the issue, but he'd unfortunately been in more street scraps than he cared to mention. He understood how people fought each other, and even though this was for sport, he could see the steely focus on Ditzy's face.

There was nothing weightless about this exchange; Ditzy stood solid and square, prepared to absorb any blow with her shield.

One of Ditzy's eyes was focused on the center of her opponent, while the other seemed to be looking at the knight's feet. There was a tensing motion by Ditzy, and the spear raised. Not a single blow had been thrown, but the air between the fighters was filled with hushed anticipation.

The spearpoint jabbed, and Ditzy met it with her shield, but the moment she raised her sword, the spear thrust again. Buck forgot his lust for Ditzy at that moment. He watched the subtle shift of her hip as she slapped the spear with the edge of her shield, then brought the sword around at the spear knights' shoulder. The shaft of the spear rose and blocked, but Ditzy followed up with a slash at the side.

The yellow bar fell between them, and they returned to their neutral positions.

"That's one to zero!" Said the ref. Ditzy looked over at Buck to check if he was still watching, and what she saw was the look he got when he was focused on a piece of prose. All of his attention was on this fight, and Ditzy suddenly felt a spotlight on her.

"Go!" The bar raised again, and suddenly Ditzy was backing up, blocking a flurry of jabs. Ditzy tried to hop left, but the spear knight stepped right, stabbing at Ditzy's exposed side. Ditzy's sword came down just in time to deflect the spear, then she dashed forward for the counter, but a heavy smack into her shield pushed her back. The butt of the spear had come around to strike, but the knight immediately brought the threatening point back between them.

"Right...spears are about space control. Looks like that guy is learnin' to respect his opponent; not givin' Ditzy a way in." Buck muttered. He could see Ditzy's chest rising and falling as she and her opponent circled each other. The spear knight punctuated every few steps with a stab, testing Ditzy's reach and staying out of it. Ditzy kept lifting a foot, then putting it back down; tensing to go in, then backing out, until her opponent thrust high at her collarbone. Ditzy caught the thrust with her shield, but another thrust came just as quickly at her foot. Ditzy tried to hop back, but she stumbled and took the spear to her leg instead.

"That's one to one!" The bar came down. Ditzy blew a strand of hair out of her eyes, looking to Buck. She caught his eye, and in response, he smiled and gave a reassuring thumbs-up.

"Go!" Before Ditzy could look back, the spear knight lunged and came at her shoulder with an overhand stab. Ditzy deflected, but the knight swung the spear down and managed to tag Ditzy on her sword arm.

"That's one to two!"

"You got this, Muffin!" Buck said. Ditzy's tension seemed to disappear. She lowered her stance into a slight crouch and raised her shield up to her chin. From his angle, Buck could see a slight smile on Ditzy's face.

"Go!" The ref said. The spear knight came thrusting again in the same way as before, but this time Ditzy pushed forward. She dodged a swipe aimed at her feet, then caught a strike from the butt of the spear. Ditzy grunted and pushed even further, pressing the spear flat against her opponents' chest, and with nowhere to move it, the spear knight planted his feet and bashed back with the haft over and over until Ditzy fell back.

Ditzy looked like she was about to stumble, but as the spear thrust at her again, she lifted her shield and let it through! Buck gasped, but Ditzy winked at him. She had caught the spear under her arm, and though the knight tried to pull it free, Ditzy stabbed at his chest. It was a blow so hard that the knight let go of the spear and fell backward onto his ass.

"Two, Two!" The ref said.

Ditzy reached over to help the knight up, but he slapped her hand away and quickly rose.

"You okay?" Ditzy said. The knight nodded, taking the spear back.

"Go!" The bar raised again, and this time the knight was all aggro.

Jab after jab of the spear was thrown, attacking Ditzy high, then low, then middle, trying to mix her up, but Ditzy's defense was too solid. She hadn't budged an inch, her gaze steely as she waited for an opening. The knight went high, and with a quick dodge, Ditzy charged in low, leaning into a mighty diagonal slash. The spear knight jumped back, but Ditzy kept coming, her steel flashed as it came to its mark, but the spear knight loosened his grip on the spear, pulled it back, and roughly shanked Ditzy right in the side of her leather breastplate.

Ditzy's blow connected all the same, hard enough that the unbalanced knight fell ass over tea-kettle onto the ground, dropping his helmet.

"That's two to three! We have a winner!"

Adagio smirked at Garble with self-satisfaction, then saw he wasn't paying attention.

Buck clapped, but Ditzy didn't seem to notice. She ran over to the fallen knight, showering him with apologies. His helmet was beside him on the ground.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you that hard!" Ditzy said, offering a hand. Ditzy gasped as she picked him up, noticing the purple locks and the blue eyes.

"That was a great move, Ditzy. When did you get so good at fighting?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, you know, you can't stay helpless your whole life, right?" Ditzy said.

"Glimglam, what're you doin' here!? I thought you'd be hangin' out with Sunburst?" Buck said, at the fence. Starlight's fleeting smile disappeared. She looked through Buck and sneered.

"I came to make sure you all were safe. Keeping an eye out for trouble is most of my job." Starlight said. She climbed over the short fence and stood next to Buck. "But it looks like trouble found you anyway. Sorry about this."

Buck heard a slow, patronizing clap behind him. As he turned to look, he felt Ditzy's hand slide into his.

Trouble just happened to be wearing a breezy wrap top and cut-off jean shorts. Her legs seemed to go on for years, but they ended in a pair of... gladiator-type sandals? Her hair was held in a high ponytail by a spiky scrunchy, and her expression as usual was like a Bond villain about to explain their latest death trap. A primal part of Buck's psyche stirred in its cage. It howled and rumbled the words 'Daisy Dukes'.

"Well, isn't this a surprise? I turns out that little Miss Ditzy Doo can handle herself in a skirmish? Color me surprised!" Adagio said. "And Buck, I never pictured you as fond of women in uniform! If I'd known that, I would have worn a cuirass to bed."

"Adagio, I thought I told you I don't wanna see you if you're just gonna solicit me."

"Oh, but I'm not here to solicit you at all! As a matter of fact; my appearance here is entirely coincidental to whatever it is you're up to today, so you can keep your little blue eyed guard dog on a leash." Adagio said, not even treating Starlight with a glance.

"Then what are you doing here, Adagio? What, did you come to steal candy from babies, or kick a dog in chainmail?" Starlight sneered.

"Is it so shocking to hear that I'm at this event simply to enjoy my evening? I even brought a..." Adagio reached over and smacked the phone out of Garble's hands, who had tottered up behind her. "I even brought a date." Adagio smiled with all the sweetness of a hyena.

"Is that Garble?" Buck squinted.

"Yeah, that's right! I super scored with your girl, and she liked it so much she asked me out!" Garble pounded his chest and slid an arm around Adagio, which was promptly taken off her waist.

"Doubt it." Ditzy said, quietly.

"Huh? You say somethin'? What're you jealous now?" Garble grinned. "You missin' me, baby?"

Starlight, Buck, and Adagio all looked at Ditzy with a dull horror, and she blushed brightly.

"I said, I seriously doubt that!" Ditzy huffed.

"Well, that's gross. And also none of my business? Y'alright, Muffin?" Buck said, finally. Adagio rankled visibly at the term 'Muffin', then quickly returned to her classic smirk when she saw Starlight smile.

Ditzy nodded and squeezed Buck's hand.

"Oh? Leaving so soon? What's the matter, Buck, feeling unnerved that I happened to find another man so swiftly?" Adagio said.

"Not really? Adagio, I got no doubt in my mind that you can get better than me. I mean, it's you. I know you, and your appeal is obvious. Frankly, I though you'd go and find yourself a millionaire or somethin'." Buck said.

Adagio's grin faltered, and the slightest blush crept onto her face.

"Didn't think you'd pick a guy like him. I'm not one to judge, I'm just surprised s'all." Buck shrugged. Starlight looked from Buck to Adagio and stifled a laugh at Adagio's twitching eyebrow.

"Surprised I banged both of your ho's, Buck?" Garble cackled.

"Shut up, Gar Gar! Buck banged your little sister!" Said a new challenger. Everyone looked left, save for Garble who cringed in terror.

"Sis!? What're you doing here? Wh-What're you talking about?"

"What am I doing here? I came here to see YOU!" Smolder yelled. "I thought you just blew me off, but instead I find you here hanging out with...a forty year old supermodel? What, did you throw your rent money at her OnlyFans?"

Adagio went pale, her impish grin tightening into a thin red line. Buck, on the other hand, doubled over and wheezed out a laughing fit.

"HOLY SHIT THAT'S BRUTAL! That kind of burn could only come from one person! Smolder, is that you!?" Buck guffawed.

Smolder spun around and her vicious snarl melted into a toothy smile.

"Hey, Buck! Long time no see!" Buck and Smolder shared a low five that rushed into a handshake and then into a hug.

"How you doin'? Did I hear that right, you're here on a visit?" Buck said.

"Yeah, yeah, I came here for that big lug over there. Hi! Are you the girlfriend?" Smolder said, smiling at Ditzy.

"Uh, yes?" Ditzy said, looking at Buck, who vigorously nodded. "I'm Ditzy Doo. It's nice to meet you! I guess you guys know each other?"

"Yeah! College stuff! Hey, listen, nice job snagging Buck! Between you and me, you kinda have'ta drag him along kicking and screaming, huh?" Smolder stage whispered.

"Oh! Uh, well, uh..." Ditzy blushed, nervously looking from Buck to Smolder. Smolder slipped an arm around her shoulder as if they were old friends.

"No, but congrats, though! Just be careful; Buck can be, like, like a lot to handle, you know? Hey, Girlfriend, didja know that Buck likes it when you nibble on his--"

"OKAY, THANK YOU SMOLDER IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU AND WE'RE MOVIN' ON!" Buck said, smiling wide. Buck stepped toward Adagio, who had leaned forward to listen. Garble regarded his sister as if he was witnessing a murder in slow motion.

"Hey, Adagio? Lemme apologize for what Smolder said. She didn't mean that; she's just upset." Buck said.

Adagio went stock still as Buck boldly reached out and put a placating hand on her shoulder. A surge of his emotions filled her in an instant; brotherly care for Smolder, saccharine affection for Ditzy Doo, and small, tender concern for Adagio herself. And surrounding it all, his burning lust. Buck tasted like frustration and comfort at the same time. Whatever Ditzy Doo was doing to him, it clearly wasn't what he wanted, and now he tasted like a man in a cauldron that was slowly heating up.

"Is that true?" Adagio said, turning slowly to Smolder.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I...uh, overreacted." Smolder said,

"Not entirely. Adagio is categorically a villain, and you should be worried that she's hanging off your brother's arm." Starlight said.

"Starlight, come on! She already said she's just here to hang out!" Buck said. His wonderfully tender grasp on Adagio's arm disappeared as he gestured in Starlight's direction.

"Do you honestly believe that?"

"You know what? You just reminded me; I came here to be with Ditzy today, not any of you guys. Smolder, how long're you in town? I'd like to catch up, but you're obviously on a mission, here."

"Huh? Oh, I'll be around tomorrow if you wanna hang early."

"Cool. Adagio? I'm glad you're havin' fun, but I didn't come here for a double date, so maybe we can visit some other time, if you're cool about it."

"What?" Ditzy deadpanned.

"And, and if Ditzy is okay with it!" Buck said.

"Buck, are you serious?" Ditzy said.

"Well, if she's cool about it, I don't see the problem..." Buck said, then instantly regretted it as he saw Ditzy's expression.

"Well, I...I suppose." Adagio stammered.

"Buck? Do you want to go get something else to eat? I know that turkey leg wasn't enough for you." Ditzy said. She glared at Adagio, then took Buck by the arm.

"...yeah! Yeah, I do, actually." Buck said. "A'ight ya'll, see ya in the funny papers!" Buck said.

"How does he do that?" Starlight said.

"Do what?" Adagio said.

"How does he just power through you, like that? I don't get it." Starlight said.

"Excuse me!?" Adagio sneered.

"He's always been like that. I don't even think he knows how to stay mad at someone." Smolder shrugged.

"You fucked him!? You fucked that dork!?" Garble said, finally recovering from his shock coma.

"That's not the point and you know it, Gar Gar! You said you would meet me here, and instead I find you hanging around with this one!" Smolder said, pointing at Adagio.

"Aw, sis, it's not like that! I just got, uh, just got a little lost, yeah, that's it!" Garble scrambled.

"Do you need me to get you a phone with a better GPS? Seriously." Smolder chided.

"No! Okay, look, maybe I didn't want to come to your dumb nerd festival okay?"

"No, you didn't want to come and see me, even though I paid for your ticket and scheduled this and everything!"

"Come on sis, don't be like that!"

"You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. Come on, Gar Gar, let's go try on some costumes!" Smolder said, taking his hand.

Garble backed away, and the two neurons wandering in his head suddenly bumped into each other, causing a thought to flare across the hazy ocean of his consciousness. This might have happened more often if he hadn't come out here a bit stoned in the first place.

"Nah."

"Nah!?"

"Nah. I'm gonna chill with this hottie over here for a while, until you chill out."

"You have got to be kidding."

"I don't think he is. Smolder, was it? It was lovely meeting you, but you seem to be upsetting my date. I think the two of us will respectably take our leave and catch up with you later." Adagio smirked.

"What!?"

"Shall we, Gar Gar?" Adagio said.

"Uh, yeah, sure, whatever." Gar Gar mumbled. Adagio put a hand on the back of his neck as if he were a child in need of corralling, and the two of them went and disappeared into the crowd.

"Wow. I'm sorry that Adagio is happening to you today." Starlight said.

"And who're you!?" Growled Smolder.

"Starlight Glimmer. I'm kind of the protector of this city."

"Are you gonna protect that...brother stealing witch from these hands!?" Smolder said, raising a fist.

"You don't want to do that, trust me."

"Well what am I supposed to do!?"

"Honestly? Just keep an eye on them. She doesn't actually care about him, so she'll probably get bored and leave him on a corner somewhere." Starlight shrugged. "Sorry about your brother blowing you off. Kind of a dick move."

"Starlight? Is that you over there? I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Sunburst arrived on the scene, lacking the company of Scoots and Dinky Doo. He was red in the face, probably from dashing over, and he looked more relieved than irate at Starlight.

"There you are! I was wondering when you would show up." Starlight said.

"Me? I thought you stood me up! We were going to play around at the faire today, where were you?"

"Where was I? I thought we were coming to the faire to keep an eye out for changeling infiltrators, since everyone around here already acts weird!" Starlight said. Sunburst slapped his forehead.

"Starlight, I love you, but don't you ever think of anything besides the job?"

"Did you seriously think I would just wander around this place when the whole city is in danger?"

"The city is always in danger!"

"Yes! Exactly!"

Sunburst and Starlight's bickering was suddenly cut off by Smolder's cackling.

"Oh, I get it! I see it, now! No wonder you two are together!" Smolder said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"What are you on about?" Starlight said.

"Buck and Sunburst used to have this same conversation every month! I used to think that they were dating!" Smolder laughed.

"...so, Starlight, did you find anything suspicious?" Sunburst said.

"So far the only thing suspicious around here is Adagio's taste in men. Er, no offense." Starlight said.

"None taken." Smolder said.

"So, do you want to go get a flagon of mead, then?" Sunburst said.

"...I guess." Starlight said.

"Come on." Sunburst took Starlight's hand.

Smolder blinked, and just as she realized she'd been ditched by pretty much everyone, Scoots walked out of the crowd, holding Dinky's hand.

"What'd we miss?"

"Ughhhh." Smolder said. "Where were you two?"

"Turns out bathroom lines at the ren faire are crazy long!" Scoots said. "Didja find your brother?"

"Yeah. Right! New quest! My big brother has been enchanted by an eeevil witch! I need you two to join me in watching over him so that he doesn't get enchanted any further! "

"Adagio?" Scoots said.

"Yep." Smolder said. Scoots nodded sagely.

"ADVENTUUUUURE!" Shouted Dinky.

Far behind them, a cloaked figure skulked in the shade of one of the cottages around the fair. They were holding something small wrapped in a dark blue cloth, and as Smolder, Dinky and Scoots wandered back into the festivities, the cloaked figure followed far behind.

Buck and Ditzy were sitting next to each other in the mead hall. Buck had a silly grin on his face, while Ditzy was once again blushing.

"Alrighty, say 'ah'."

"Buck, you don't have to feed me like a baby...people are looking!"

"Ah, see, you must've not read the fine print when you said you would go out with me. Dating me means doing cutesy couple shit in public! Before long, I'm gonna have a shirt that says 'If Found, Return to Ditzy Doo', and you're gonna have one that says 'I'm Ditzy Doo.'" Buck laughed. He was holding up a steaming artichoke heart covered in some kind of pale orange sauce at the tip of a fork, which Ditzy took a bite off.

"See? It's good!" Buck smiled. Ditzy nodded sheepishly and then swallowed. She stared into her beef stew for a second and frowned.

"...are you getting back at me for that thing with Garble?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well, I mean...me and him, we...you know."

"Oh."

"I mean, I mean, it was a one time thing, and it was definitely a mistake, so-!"

"What? No, I'm not mad. That's none of my business!"

"Really? You're not mad at all?"

"No! Look, I'm the last person in the universe to judge someone for sleepin' around, okay?" Buck said. Ditzy stared at her food, and a heavy silence sat between the two of them.

"And besides, you're allowed to make mistakes. Just look at me! I'm the weirdest mistake my parents ever made!" Buck said, taking a bite of his weird fried artichoke dish.

"Come on, Buck. You're not a mistake." Ditzy said.

"Well, sometimes I feel like it. Point is, Ditzy, what's done is done, and I'm not the jealous type. It ain't my business who you've slept with, or who you're going to sleep with after me. It's fine."

Buck frowned as he realized that he'd said the sad part out loud. Intrusive thoughts suddenly swarmed around him, telling him that this is exactly how you fuck it up, this right here is how you fuck it up.

But then, he felt Ditzy's hand alight on his thigh and squeeze.

"I only have eyes for you, Buck. You know that, right?" Ditzy said.

"Oh, both of 'em? At the same time? Are you sure?" Buck chuckled.

"Don't be a jerk, Purple Prose!" Ditzy giggled uncomfortably. Buck's thoughts were racing; he needed to say something to make this better.

"I'm sorry about today...I didn't think Adagio would show up."

"It's not your fault, Buck."

"But it is, isn't it? She's only here because I'm here. I'm trying, Ditzy. I'm really trying to make our first date a good one."

"It's okay, it's okay! I'm having fun!" Ditzy said, but Buck could see her shifting in her seat. A voice in Buck's head told him he had to say something, do something to take Ditzy's mind off Adagio.

"Hey...how long are we hangin' around here?"

"Why? Do you wanna leave, Buck?"

"Well, you know, there's a lot of people around here, and it's startin' to tire me out. Once the sun goes down, you wanna head back, kick everybody out and snuggle on the couch?" Buck said, low and sweet in Ditzy's ear. Please let this work, Buck thought.

"What about Dinky?"

"She's gotta go to sleep eventually." Buck said. His eyes were golden coals burning just over his glasses as he grinned at Ditzy.

"Were you thinkin' about a movie, Buck?" Ditzy said. Her hand stroked at Buck's thigh under the table, sliding very slowly toward an inevitable destination. Buck breathed out, finally settling into a role he knew how to play.

"Nah. I was thinkin' about some lofi, and some glasses of lemonade."

"That sounds nice. What else, Buck?" Ditzy purred, biting her lip.

"I was thinkin' you and me with a blanket to cover us." Buck said. Comfort her. Be warm. Don't touch. Stay open. It's okay if she says no, don't pressure her, don't pressure her, don't pressure her.

"Hm?"

"And nothin' underneath." Buck whispered. Ditzy's cheeks were burning by now, but she didn't dare stop. She scooted over on the bench and leaned against Buck, to his surprise. Her head rested on his shoulder as her fingers shyly traced around his zipper, and Ditzy Doo realized silently that she didn't care if people were looking. It felt like a revelation.

"Why, Mr. Purple Prose...are you using that silver tongue of yours to proposition a fair lady knight?" Ditzy said.

"If the lady doth protest so much, she ought to find another use for this tongue." Buck said. It was a dare that Ditzy wasn't going to back down from. She had been waiting too long.

"Do you...wanna eat my little muffin, Buck?" Ditzy whispered, squeezing his crotch.

"You've liked me for a while, Ditzy...I wanna make up for the wait."

"And they say chivalry is dead~"

Buck and Ditzy kissed once more, and for the briefest of moments, Ditzy saw Adagio's "sex fiend" behind Buck's eyes. His tongue pushed into her mouth immediately but surreptitiously; his lips barely moving. To all the world, the kiss might have even seemed chaste and innocent, but hands under the table told a different story. If Ditzy hadn't pulled away, she was sure that Buck wouldn't stop; that he'd simply throw her on top of this table and claim her right there, and the shame that would follow was smothered by Ditzy's raw, wet excitement at Buck finally looking at her like a woman.

Ditzy pulled back slowly, then cringed as she looked into Buck's eyes. They were red.

"What's wrong?"

Ditzy didn't have a chance to answer, and whatever Buck was going to say next was lost as he laid his eyes on Adagio, who had come strutting into the hall at the least convenient time possible.

Just a bit ago, Ditzy had seen Adagio in a simple, trendy summer ensemble, but it seemed she had used her preparation time to dress up in...some anime shit.

The pauldrons of a knight were there, surely, but the dark, gleaming breastplate had a ridiculous boob window, and in the place of faulds, one of Adagio's curvaceous thighs was exposed by a slit going up the side of a dark purple battle dress. She had a wide-brimmed alewife hat of the same color on her head, and at some point, she had gotten a rapier of ridiculous austerity belted to her waist. Everything on her was either very tight or looked like it could be carried off with a breeze, and Ditzy guessed her shining gauntlets and greaves were the only practical armor pieces on her body.

"Oh! There you two are! I wanted to let you know that I'm going to participate in the games! Buck, did you want to come along and watch me show these plebeians some true historical swordplay?"

"Are you bein' serious, Adagio?" Buck said it almost indignantly, but Ditzy could feel him getting harder under the table.

"Why wouldn't I be, Buck? I learned to duel on a pirate ship, after all!"

"Well, I'm more talkin' about your outfit. What's all that supposed to protect?"

"My reputation for impeccable fashion sense, of course."

"But it doesn't even cover your heart! You're going to get hurt out there!" Ditzy said.

"Oh, Miss Ditzy Doo, why the sudden concern?"

"I don't wanna see Buck's friend get injured due to stupidity." Ditzy frowned.

"Is that it? Or do you simply not want to watch Buck get excited when a breeze catches my dress?" Adagio grinned through the barb.

"'dagio, I thought you said you weren't here to cause any trouble?"

"Nah, she's super doubling down." Garble said, looking at his phone. He was wearing a poofy-sleeved princely get-up that he appeared to despise more than life itself.

"Hush. It won't be any trouble for me to tear through the competition."

"No trouble!? You've got this poor man in poofy sleeves! You're all trouble!"

"Oh, I'm trouble of the best kind, Buck, but I'm not here to harass you. I just felt the need to show off, since I'm here. The searing lust I can taste coming from you is certainly a bonus, but hardly the point." Adagio said.

"Buck, let's go." Ditzy said, rising with Buck's hand in hers.

"What's the matter? Were...oh, you were planning to participate as well, weren't you? Are you afraid I might embarrass you out there?"

"No. Actually, Buck and me were just talking about heading home early. We have a lot to catch up on." Ditzy smirked.

"That's probably a good idea. No offense, 'dagio, but it's best if I don't get to excited. You know what can happen."

"Oh please, Buck. I saw you watching your little girlfriend sparring! There wasn't an ounce of lust in you; you were focused entirely on the fight. It shouldn't be any different with me around."

"You're trying to tempt him, and it's not going to work." Ditzy said. Adagio leaned forward, her teeth sharpening.

"Oh honey...if I wanted to tempt Buck, I wouldn't be talking about a contest; I'd be talking about a victory lap. But never mind! I'll just go and have my fun, and Gar Gar can cheer me on." Adagio said.

"Uh." Garble said. It sounded like he was playing some kind of super obnoxious mobile game.

"Of course, we both know how it would go. No contest at all." Adagio laughed.

Ditzy's grasp on Buck's hand turned into a death grip.

"Adagio, you're bein a fuckin' bully, and you know it. Cut it out." Buck said. Adagio seemed to deflate at that.

"Buck, I didn't mean to--"

"You know what? Fine, Adagio. I'm sick and tired of you strutting around and cooing at my boyfriend like a cat on the sidewalk."

"Muffin, we don't need to escalate; we can just go." Buck said.

"No. I don't think so. She has been trying to start a fight with me from the moment she met me, and I'm done." Ditzy said.

"I'm not about to let you two fight over me!" Buck said.

"Oooh, look at me! My name's Buck and I don't want hot chicks to fight over me, boo hoo!" Garble said, suddenly invested in the conversation.

"Shut up 'Gar Gar'!" Buck said.

"Buck, it's alright." Ditzy said.

"Huh?" Buck said. Ditzy gave him a sweet and tender smile beneath eyes filled with determination.

"I already have you. And I love you. Do you trust me?" Ditzy said, kissing Buck on the cheek.

"With my lunch and with my life, Muffin." Buck said, with a goofy grin. He was distantly aware of Adagio making a gagging expression in his peripheral vision.

"Will you trust your Muffin to handle this?"

"You don't have to fight, Ditzy."

"I do if I want her to leave us alone."

"Are you two quite finished?" Adagio said. "I'd like to finish trouncing you while the sun is still up." Adagio smarmed. Ditzy rolled her eye.

"I'm going to head to the field. Don't keep me waiting." Ditzy said. She tugged Buck along, leaving Adagio to stand there, caught between irritation and amusement. For a moment, Ditzy Doo had a taste of cold fury, like the ocean at night. It was a flavor that was often reserved for caretakers, martyrs, and mothers. Adagio knew it well; because it was the flavor she always had whenever she had to come to the defense of her sisters.

"Damn, that was hot." Garble said.

"...shut up, Gar Gar." Adagio muttered.

"I wanna start by sayin' that this ain't my fault." Buck said.

He was now leaning on the fence next to the Proving Grounds again, but this time Starlight Glimmer was grimacing next to him, and Sunburst was on his other side. Just in front of him, Ditzy Doo did some rudimentary stretches.

"I find that hard to believe." Starlight said. Ditzy Doo held out her hand and Buck presented her heavy duffle bag. She reached in and pulled out a one-handed war hammer.

"No, Starlight, I insisted. I'm sick of her coming into my life and mussing everything up. She needs to be taken down a peg, and I've got the...well, you know.

"You do hammers? Huh. Never would'a guessed that!" Buck said.

"Oh, me and Marianne are old friends." Ditzy giggled.

"Marianne? Huh. I probably would've named it Maxwell."

"Well, that's a good one, but this name makes more sense to me. Its a hammer for all the 'Mariannes' of the world."

"...I don't think I get it." Sunburst said.

The sun was just about to set. The bleachers were only sparsely populated, with Scoots and Smolder and Dinky sitting near the bottom.

"Maybe while the match is going on, you grab Gar Gar and then got get some candied apples, or whatever?" Scoots said. She held out a stick of cotton candy, then immediately started wiping Dinky's face with a handkerchief as the sticky sugar strands got caught in her faux beard. Dinky sat still, still cradling the shiny gift box she had gotten for her mother.

"That's not a bad idea..." Smolder said. She sounded a bit distant, and when Scoots followed Smolders' gaze, she saw that the dragon princess was watching Buck and Ditzy. "You like him, don't you?"

"Whuh? No! Not like that!" Scoots said.

"Come on, you look at him the way I used to. You're not foolin' anybody."

"It's really not like that. Buck...he's a sweetheart and all, but I'm not into him like that. I just...I like hanging around with him. He makes me feel like, I dunno. Safe. Like I can..."

"Be whoever you are? Like he's a big snuggly blanket, and you wanna wrap him around you? Makes you wanna be that kind of warm?"

"Yeah! Exactly. And, you know, Adagio is kind of the opposite. I'm on edge when I'm around her. She's dangerous and beautiful and I, I think I wanna be like that sometimes, too."

"Hey Scoots, I know I just walked in on this whole thing, but can I level with you?"

"Sure."

"That woman is poison. I've seen exactly what happens to guys that hang with girls like her, and its pathetic. That's why I've got to get Garble away from her."

"I get it, I get it, but that's why, I think, I kinda want her to win this one."

"What? Why?"

"Well...Ditzy just wants to keep Adagio away from Buck. But I think maybe that's not exactly what's right? I dunno, it's hard to explain." Scoots said.

"No way! Mama's a big tough hero! She's gonna beat that witch!" Dinky said.

Adagio looked over her shoulder, and then charitably chose to not stare daggers at the small child. Garble was on the other side of the fence from her, predictably not paying attention. He would be no help, at least not willingly.

She strode to the middle of the field, ignoring a wolf whistle that came from the audience.

On the other side, Ditzy Doo muttered 'Come on, Marianne' and stepped forward as well. The yellow bar dropped between them.

"Buck, are you seriously going to let Ditzy fight Adagio? She can swing a hammer, sure, but don't you think this is a little above her weight class?" Sunburst said.

"She almost beat Starlight." Buck shrugged.

"But Adagio is...well she's Adagio! She's the most dangerous thing in Canterlot!

"Look, this whole thing is really reductive, and I don't like bein' a prize, but maybe once they knock each other around some, they'll find some common ground. It's not like I can stop them."

"Buck is right. Adagio is..." Starlight said but considered her words as Buck glared at her. "...she's a bully. And some bullies just won't listen until you beat them up a little."

"Neither of you are wearing helmets. You both signed your waivers, right? No headshots, no blood." Said the ref. Both women nodded but didn't take their eyes off one another. "Alright. Well, what are the terms?"

"We keep going until one of us yields." Ditzy growled.

"Oh my, confident are we?"

"No, just determined. Buck just wants to live a quiet life, without having to deal with monsters like you." Ditzy said. Adagio's cocksure grin went sour.

"Oh, so this is an RP." The ref mumbled.

"No, he doesn't. Buck is just as much of a 'monster' as I am. Just because you've convinced him to repress his nature, that doesn't make him any less than what he is." Adagio said.

"Buck has been a perfect gentleman. Since you've been gone, he's been cozy and relaxed. There's been no incidents, no magic, no nothing." Ditzy smiled.

"What did you do to him?" Adagio snarled. Ditzy nearly took a step back, because she saw a ravenous beast in Adagio's eyes.

"I made him comfortable. He's safe with me."

"Comfortable? Are you blind!?"

"Are you two ready?" Said the ref.

"Wait. If I win, you have to swear you won't come and bother us without permission." Ditzy said.

"Fine. When I win, I demand a bit of time out of Buck's week."

"What?"

"Aren't I magnanimous? You can keep him in your little bubble of monogamy for now. But I demand that you let me see to his other needs." Adagio smirked.

"You...you want to teach him magic, don't you?"

"You catch on surprisingly quick, little Miss Ditzy Doo."

"He'll never agree to that."

"Oh, he will if you suggest it. You're the only thing holding him back."

"You're deluded."

"I'm simply a woman who knows what her man needs, even if he doesn't."

"He's my man!"

"If you insist."

"Go!" The ref said. The bar raised, and Ditzy came charging forward. None of the measured care that Buck had seen before was in her hammer swings. It genuinely looked like she was trying to bash Adagio's face in. Adagio hadn't even drawn her rapier; she simply smiled and stepped around Ditzy's attacks with the greatest of ease.

"Fight back!" Ditzy yelled.

"Why should I do that when I can let you defeat yourself? You're already halfway there with Buck. I can taste his frustration. Has anything at all changed since the day when you and I met?" Adagio said.

Ditzy snarled and swung the hammer in a horizontal arc, but Adagio ducked and half drew her blade; catching Ditzy in the stomach with the pommel and knocking her back.

As the fight commenced, Garble felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Gar Gar, come on. We're getting out of here."

"What? Hell no! I wanna watch the babes fight!"

"No, you don't! You're just tryin' to blow me off!"

"No I'm not! I'm just having fun at the fair, like you wanted!"

"I wanted you to have fun with me at the fair!"

"Pssh, well you like boring nerd stuff! I'm just doin' what I want!"

"You want to watch two women beat the shit out of each other over a guy?"

"...yeah?"

"But Adagio doesn't care about you! She's just using you!"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Gar Gar, this is stupid! If you didn't wanna come out here, you could've just said no! What do you want to do? Just tell me! I just want to spend time with my big brother! What did I do to make you so pissed at me?"

"You wanna know? I want you to give me some space! Every time you come over, you act like I'm this big fuck off screw up that needs to be babied, but all I'm doin' is what I've been doin'! We can't all run off to the bay and get hooked on nerd shit and get a degree! Maybe if you stop acting like you're perfect and telling me how to be, I'd actually wanna hang with you!"

"Gar Gar, it's not like that! I just want what's best for you! If you would just try, I'm sure you could--"

"Stop callin' me Gar Gar, and stop telling me what to do! Just piss off, sis! Run back to the Bay for all I care! At least they fuckin' want you there!"

"AUGGH! You're impossible!" Smolder said, storming back to the bleachers.

"You human girls are so uptight...you show your teeth the second another woman lays eyes on your man. What's so wrong with a little competition? Are you afraid of failing the audition~?" Adagio said.

"Raagh!" Ditzy roared, coming in for another wild swing. Adagio stepped aside again.

"Has he even touched you since you've been together? Or is that too fast for you? Tell me the truth, Ditzy; are you afraid of him? Is that it? Or is he afraid of showing you who he is?"

"Shut up! SHUT UP!" Ditzy yelled and didn't see the stream of greenish energy flowing from her body to Adagios.

Another swing from Ditzy, but this time, Adagio shifted and stuck her foot out. Ditzy just barely stopped her face from hitting the ground, but when she peered up at Adagio she was shocked to see a look of sorrow on her face.

"He's the only man in this world that can measure up to me, and you've tricked him into sitting in a cozy little cage. He needs me, Ditzy Doo. And you took him away." Adagio said, sliding the rapier out of its sheath. Ditzy went pale because she was sure then that Adagio was going to kill her.

Ditzy kicked at Adagio's ankle, then when she dodged, Ditzy rose to her feet, huffing and panting as she raised her shield once more.

"You don't understand...Buck needs someone that will care for him. Someone to protect him. I was there when the changeling attacked, and you weren't!"

"You think you can protect him?" Adagio said. She raised her blade. Her stance was like a fencer's, with a hand behind her back.

"I know I can!"

"Fine. Protect him from me." Adagio thrust forward and the force of the blow shook Ditzy's arm behind the shield. And then Adagio jabbed again and again. She didn't bother targeting anything but Ditzy's shield, but every strike drove Ditzy back, further away from where she could see Buck watching. "You have to see it by now! Every moment he's with you, he's dancing around your feelings, wondering what he'll say that will offend you, his sweet, innocent little housewife!"

"He's not an animal like you! He needs to feel safe! All I want is for him to come to me for that!" Ditzy said. She jabbed the head of the hammer forward, finally catching Adagio in the chest and causing her to stumble back. Ditzy charged, but Adagio blocked her swing with the basket of her blade. The clashing metal rung through the proving grounds, drawing a gasp from the audience.

"He's a man! He is far too dense to know what you want! He barely knows what he wants! You would keep him locked in a cozy little box for the rest of his life, letting him shrink himself down until he's nothing but a sweet little puppy that does your dishes!" Adagio snarled, trying to shake the sudden numbness from her hand.

And so Adagio came again, her blows drawing sparks as her blade glanced off Ditzy's pauldrons and then her greaves. The sun was in Ditzy's eyes and dazzling off Adagio's blade.

"You're not protecting him; you're corrupting him! Ruining him!"

There was another gasp from the growing audience as the sound of splintering wood echoed across the proving grounds.

Ditzy opened her eyes and saw that the tip of Adagio's rapier had pierced through her shield and very nearly her eye. Beyond the steel, Ditzy could see Adagio shaking with rage, and that ignited the fury in her heart.

A great clanging thud of metal on metal rang through the air as Adagio stumbled back, her rapier pulled free of the shield. Ditzy Doo had kicked the plate covering her stomach hard enough to send her sprawling back toward the fence.

Ditzy would not let her get away. She dashed forward and swung the hammer in a brutal arc that shattered the top of a fence post where Adagio was. Ditzy Doo kept swinging, spinning on her heels and swinging low, then high, then low again, but as that last sweep came, Adagio flipped into an elegant cartwheel spin away from Ditzy's reach.

The crowd, now having truly ballooned in size, cheered, and Adagio smiled and bowed to them. Ditzy tried to take advantage of this opening, but even in her bow, Adagio slapped the hammer away with a flick of her blade.

"Who are you to talk about corruption? You come into our lives and throw your hips around like a stripper!" Ditzy swung, and Adagio parried as if the hammer weighed nothing at all. Her hair's color dulled a bit.

"You put your hands all over Buck and treat him like a piece of meat!" Ditzy feinted a swing, but when Adagio blocked, the hammer instead changed direction and swung up into her side, knocking her away.

The crowd cheered; Starlight Glimmer the loudest of all.

Adagio took the hit and spun away like a dancer along the fence, and then without even skipping a beat, she grabbed Garble by the collar and treated him to a passionate kiss. The audience cheered, and Ditzy saw a bit of shine sparkle in Adagio's hair.

Over on the bleachers, Scoots cringed as she heard the sound of wood creaking. She looked down and saw that Smolder's nails had dug narrow canals in the seat beneath her.

"Don't you have any shame!?" Ditzy shouted.

"Shame!?" Adagio laughed. She rushed forward and jumped into a brutal kick that sent flinders of Ditzy's shield flying. Ditzy hit the ground hard, then started rolling as Adagio stabbed at her again and again.

"What use is shame for a creature like me!? Shame is worthless!"

*STAB*

"Shame is just a tool that the weak use to torture themselves!"

*STAB*

"What good has your shame done for you!?"

*STAB*

Adagio's steel slashed down like a saber, hacking off the top of Ditzy's buckled shield. Ditzy tossed the shield away, then made a desperate swing at Adagio, forcing her to retreat. Ditzy was up on one knee just in time to block Adagio's vertical slash with Marianne. Adagio's hat had long since fled, and now strands of curly orange hair were hanging over her manic smile.

"At the other end of your shame, Ditzy Doo, there is only obscurity and misery. Shame is what keeps him from you! But I won't let it keep him from me! I won't let you keep him from what he could be!" Adagio hissed. Ditzy's arms shook as she held the siren's blade back.

"No! Buck needs me!" Ditzy roared. She feinted a kick, let go of Marianne and punched Adagio square in the jaw, sending her tumbling back in the dirt. As Adagio picked herself up, Ditzy kicked her in the chest and knocked her back again, and when Adagio tried to bring her blade up, she screamed as Ditzy stomped on her hand.

"Woah, woah, woah!" The ref said.

"He loves me! You say you care, but all you see in him is a sex machine!" Ditzy pointed her hammer at Adagio's throat. The siren was on the ground, red welts forming where Ditzy had hit her.

"You still think this is about sex?" Adagio coughed.

"Yield! Yield now!"

"You will never be enough for him...!" Adagio spat.

"YIELD!" Ditzy screamed, pressing the hammerhead to Adagio's neck.

"Muffin, stop!" Buck said. His hand was over hers. Ditzy looked over and saw an expression of horror on Buck's face. "You've made your point. You're hurting her, so please. Stop."

Ditzy looked to the bleachers. When her eyes fell on Dinky, the little girl hid her face against Scoots' side.

"Adagio, give it up." Buck said. Adagio's eyes filled and overflowed with a mixture of emotions.

"I'll never give you up, Buck."

The crowd sat in rapt silence, watching this fight that had gone so much farther than a simple spar. All spectators focused their attention on the arena, save for one.

Scoots was the first to hear it. It was a tingling chime, distant and yet close like something out of a dream. She turned her head and saw a figure in a dark cloak secret something beneath their robe, then retreat behind the bleachers. She heard a low growl and felt an odd heat.

Smolder's lips curled back in a snarl, baring her teeth, which to Scoots looked suddenly very sharp.

"Oh...we should go." Scoots said.

"I don't wanna look..." Dinky said, muffled against Scoots.

Smolder's eyes were focused entirely on Garble, who was naturally watching Adagio. Smolder's pupils dilated into slits.

"We should go now!" Scoots said. She scooped Dinky up in her arms and made a break for it.

The bleachers groaned and splintered. A blazing column of flame had erupted from them, causing the audience to flee in terror. Everyone looked askance, save for Adagio who stared at Buck as she got to her feet. His hand was in Ditzy's, seemingly on instinct.

The pillar of flame tightened into a jet, then diminished into a puff of smoke escaping from the jaws of a great reptilian beast. Where Smolder had been, there was a creature with a pair of long, powerful bat wings and curling orange horns, crouched like a hunting hound over the crackling bleachers. Her lustrous scales were the same color as the twilight, gleaming as the great wings beat, carrying her into the air.

"Smolder...? What the hell?" Garble said.

"Ah, shit. Here we go again." Buck said.

The beast roared and broke into a dive. Her talons extended and flames sparked from her tongue.

"SMOLDER WANT!"

Author's Note

*Bonus Chapter coming soon!
Song Review: Trouble is one of those songs you just couldn't avoid for a while. It buzzed through your radio speakers until you knew every damn word. Trouble is about seeing red flags and pursuing someone anyway. It's about not trusting your judgment and letting yourself get hurt. In the context of this chapter, I think it's Ditzy thinking that if she had just acted sooner, Adagio would never had gotten so far with Buck, and now the damage is done. The same could be said for Adagio, but in reverse. Each of them offers something different to Buck, but each they want to be his everything. Therefore, they are destined to clash.