Adagio was in the damned tub again. A bottle of wine rolled across the floor and took a rest up against the bundle of clothes she had hastily left there. She had thrown in a bath bomb this time; which meant that this was serious. She liked to drink during times like this because it slowed her thoughts down, and it took quite a bit of poison to slow her down properly. This was the reason why there were two other empty bottles on the floor.

Perhaps that was a foolish idea tonight, because her thoughts were all about Him. The word was overwhelmed, Adagio thought, distantly, but that couldn't be true. Adagio was the master of her own world; overwhelmed happened to other creatures, never to her.

And yet here she was sulking and drinking and floating in a cold bath feeling like she'd lost it all.

It was a mistake.

You don't make mistakes, dear.

But a mistake is just what it had been. She had tried to give Buck a gift, and she'd drank him in a bit too much and she went overboard and now...nothing. She was right back to where she started.

The monster sulking in its lair.

Drinking in a bathtub, alone. Her third bottle was half empty now.

She had just meant to unwind with a nice warm colt, and she'd instead unwrapped herself to reveal the beast underneath.

He hadn't seen a monster when he'd turned to her. He was surprised, the fool.

Adagio had fooled Buck into thinking he was safe with her, and she had wronged him at the first opportunity.

Wronged? Since when did Wrong factor in anymore? This whole miserable human-filled world was wrong. Everything about it was wrong. She'd hidden from it as much as possible, but it was true.

Perhaps it wasn't worth conquering after all. It was a mistake to think so. Another one.

The drink was warm in her cheeks as she meticulously bathed. Adagio knew that shame could never really be washed out, just covered, but she would try her best.

Try? Since when did Adagio Dazzle have to try? She had tried with Buck, but he was like a hot tub filled with sake. She had barely dipped into him and his heat had soaked into her skin. Love drunk. She called it love drunk. This could not, under any circumstances, be love.

Humans didn't deserve love. They were hideous, brutish things, more savage than a minotaur and consistently less impressive. Gods, she was tired of looking at humans.

Buck was just a human. The idiot was overflowing with magic, but he was just a man. Nothing more than a useful pawn. But what had she wanted him for? What would she even do with the power he held? Did she think they'd come back if she became powerful again? Aria didn't answer her calls, and Sonata didn't need her.

Hell, Sonata was doing better without Adagio. This world truly was backwards.

It didn't matter, she supposed. Buck was sensitive, and he was gone.

What had she done to him that was really so terrible? His face then, his face was so twisted and hurt. She'd hurt him.
No, she hadn't. He was perfectly healthy. He had quit because he wanted control. He liked seeing Adagio love drunk and helpless and giggly. He wanted to take advantage of her, the way that men do.

"You know that's not true." The words bubbled out of her and onto the surface of the water. She'd chosen a dark and starry bath bomb. Her words rippled across the surface. It looked like a lake reflecting the night sky.

Adagio felt small. She had felt small in his arms and she had felt small with him inside her and she had felt small when Buck sang to her.

"It was a gift to myself, wasn't it?" She had wanted to feel in control again. Buck had taken that from her, and he wasn't even trying to. Wasn't he? He just wanted a pretty little slip of a thing to throw around. She had proven too sharp and vicious for that, and he had rejected her. Was this really so much of a surprise?

"That's not what happened!" Adagio threw the wine glass across the room. It shattered somewhere between the toilet and the mirror. And there were the tears again.

He hadn't rejected her. He wanted her so badly it ached in him. He was starving for her, she had been tasting that every moment he was near.

He was hurt. He had opened himself to her, shown only some of his scars, and she had hurt him all over again. How could she face him after that? Why did she even care? She didn't need him. He was just a dalliance. A treat. Adagio Dazzle didn't need anyone. She was doing fine on her own. She had what she needed. A roof, clothing, food, security.

She sunk under the water and hugged her knees to her chest.

She was so tired of crying.

Later on, Adagio couldn't tell anyone how long she'd been in that tub. It might have been hours or days.

When she emerged, she still didn't know what to do about Buck. But she did know that she needed to go to work.

Buck, for his part, was not so much despondent as just tired. Buck had walked home alone and gone to bed and then gone straight on back to work the next day. He hadn't had much to say to Ditzy Doo that day, and he had glared at Scootaloo until she stopped asking. He hadn't gotten much in the way of tips, either. Tired. Buck reasoned that he was just tired.

That was a lie.

He was lying to himself, again. Tired was for double shifts and sore backs. Tired was hot skin and sweat and cool ground and water. Tired was good sleep.

Buck was burnt out. Because, fucking fool that he was, he had let another bad girl hurt him.

He wanted to call Ma, but he knew what she'd say. Could she say 'I told you so' even when they hadn't talked about it before? Buck believed his mother could pull it off. Had he slept? He wasn't sure.

He wanted to talk to Sunburst. He would know what to do; he always did, but Starlight was probably at his place, and she would use Buck's experience as a cudgel against Adagio.

So what? She'd hurt him. She didn't listen to him-she blurred the line of consent and she had...she didn't care about him. She had used him. Like Berry Punch. Like Her. Like the rest. He missed Coloratura. He missed his Dad. He needed someone to listen to him.

"Buck, what's going on? It's like 2am, isn't it your bedtime?" Sunburst's voice over the phone was groggy and patient. He was a morning person. Buck was cutting into his sleep.

"Hey, man. I can't explain right now, but I need to talk to you. Can we talk later, tomorrow?" Buck said.

"You mean today?" Sunburst said.

"Yeah, smartass. Today. Later. Please?"

"You know I'm in your corner Buck. Is it about Adagio?" So he knew. Sunburst let the sentence drop, and Buck had a hard time catching it, holding it in his hands. His voice started to quaver again.

"Y...yeah, man. It's about Adagio."

"Okay. So, drinks, then?"

"I don't think that's gonna help, Sunburst."

"No, I mean for me." Sunburst snickered. Buck smiled, at that.

"Alright, sure. Lobby at the bottom of your place? There's a bar there, right?"

"That's right. Are you going to be okay for the night, Buck? Do you need me to come over?"

"No, man, no, I'm alright. She didn't...she didn't hurt me."

"...It sure sounds like you're hurt, Buck." Sunburst said. Buck couldn't hide from his best friend.

He could trust Sunburst.

"Yeah, well I still need to keep working. The world isn't going to stop just because I had a bad night."

"You sound exhausted. Maybe you should call in and say you won't make it? Mental health day, you know?"

"No, no, you know that we're always understaffed over there." Buck scratched his head. When he blinked, it hurt.

"The Cakes keep you understaffed, Buck."

"Point is, they need me at work. I'm not gonna bail."

"Okay, well, get some sleep. Things will look better in the morning."

"Will they?"

"I don't know, but at least you'll be fully awake. That usually helps me see things clearly, after all." Sunburst's version of sass always warmed Buck up. It was matter-of-fact and endlessly caring. Honestly, that was Sunburst as a whole.

"Alright, man. I'll see you around, uh..."

"Five?"

"Six, I think. Gotta go home and get changed, maybe have a bite to eat."

"Right. Six, then. Just meet me in the lobby."

"Okay. Thanks for picking up, Sunburst."

"Anytime, Buck."

The new job was lacking any measure of challenge. Adagio dressed nice and ran her numbers and looked pretty. It was hectic work, of course. The number crunchers in this building had no semblance of teamwork, and so the numbers were a bit of a mess. Not a puzzle to think through; the spreadsheets of this place were more like a big pile of laundry scattered across the floor. The only thing to do was sort through it.

It was also very clear that a few of the upper positions in this tower were embezzling quite a bit, and Adagio couldn't guess if Filthy Rich was allowing this to happen due to negligence or simple corruption. It might have been both. Easy.

Filthy Rich was a daft old fool who had spent a lifetime getting what he wanted. Adagio's plan was ruthless and simple. She had to quietly seduce him; it never took much with men like him. A lingering glance here, a professional smile there, and then when the old bastard was properly fluffed up on entitlement, he would make a move and Adagio would have a choice to make. She could threaten him with court and take a sweet little settlement under the table, or she could enchant him very briefly and have him sign a blank check.

She probably had enough magical energy in her still to erase his memory of the event, thanks to Buck.

Buck. Damn it.

She had to pass that wretched little spit of a sweet shop on her way to work every single day. She hadn't been inside since the first time. He didn't want to see her.

Except he did. She could taste it. She would double around the building instead of crossing in front of the windows, and she'd lay a hand on the side door and she would reach out for him. Each and every time, she recognized his taste, and each time he tasted like stale regret and exhaustion and sad sad sad.

And somehow, under all of that, he still tasted like love.

Once she saw him run after one of his co-workers, a chesty little thing who had bumbled the hat off her head on her way out. Buck broke into a quick jog to catch her, planting her hat tenderly on her head. Adagio tasted affection and care. That one with the crossed eyes; she wanted him. Her nervous laugh was ugly.

But Adagio could taste Buck's longing. It was faint and far away, but it was there.

He wanted to see her again, but he was too upset right now.

So Adagio waited.

An eternity seemed to pass, and Adagio felt the energy of Buck's love bleed out of her. She had forgotten for the briefest moment what it felt like to be weak. She was going to practice so many spells...but if she did that now, all she would get was hunger and exhaustion. She had to hold on to the piece of Buck still in her. She felt her body slowly turning back to the way it was during her slump.

She definitely didn't want to go scrounging for scraps at the local bar scene again. She felt above that now; wondered why she ever thought that was acceptable.

She craved him. How was she going to get him back?

She was pondering this, staring at the bottom of a wine glass. The hotel where she lived was quite upscale even by the lofty standards of Canterlot. It was almost a resort, honestly, but Adagio had rarely needed to use its amenities. Not tonight. Tonight she felt if she didn't stop thinking about Buck she would keep drinking until she emptied her wine cabinet or very eventually died of blood poisoning, whichever came first.

At least here they would cut her off if she fell from her stool. It was a bitter, comforting thought. As she rolled the splash of white wine around the bottom of her glass, she tasted a bit of cold fear in the air, then anger, then patience.

Adagio whirled around on her stool, hoping desperately that Buck had come to find her, that he was looking to talk now, that it was okay, he forgave her, he loved her, that he would-and then she deflated as she saw orange skin, a goatee and a pair of big round glasses.

He was stringy and a bit frazzled and doing his best to look stern at her.

"Yes, can I help you?" Adagio said.

"Uh, well, uh..." He stopped to gather himself. Did she know him? She severely doubted it.

"If you're looking for a date, it'll have to wait." Adagio said. She flipped her hair and downed the rest of her glass, twirling her finger at the bartender who poured her yet another.

"No, no, I'm not here for a date. I noticed you sitting here, and I think we need to talk." The young man sat at her side. He spoke quietly, his voice carrying a nasally, rubbery tone. If Buck was something like a slightly scruffy creative writing teacher, this one was more of a physics tutor, she thought. Why was he still here?

"You and I, we need to talk? For what reason, exactly?" Adagio said. She sipped at her glass.

"I'm Sunburst. Buck's best friend? I'm also dating Starlight Glimmer." The bartender ducked out of the way as Adagio had a spit take.

"Excuse me!?"

"I vouched for you, you know. I told Starlight that you weren't causing Buck any harm, that it was good he was finally seeing someone again." Sunburst said. He tasted like slow, rising anger beneath a lid of temperance. The bartender quietly slid him a mojito. Sunburst nodded to him with a smile, then he turned back to Adagio with a grim look. "Buck told me about what happened." He said.

"I see..."

"And because I care about him, I want to know what happened from your perspective. I want to know why you hurt my best friend." He said. His tone suggested that he would not be turned away from this line of inquiry.

Adagio could have boiled the blood in his veins with the amount of magic she still had inside herself. Her temper flared. Explain myself? What made this shrimpy little...librarian think he had the right to ask that? How far had she truly fallen?

"...It was a miscommunication."

"These kinds of things often are."

"I tried to give him a gift; to treat him. He opened himself up to me, and I lost myself a bit and...and I took advantage of him, and I went too far. He asked me to stop, but I refused to hear him." Adagio could taste the cold fury coming off Sunburst. It sat behind a protective instinct that she thought only came from family, be they blood or found. He was here to protect Buck from her.

"Buck...he doesn't want to feel used. He had a previous relationship where that's all that ever happened. You understand, don't you? He's more than just a sex toy. You get that, right?" Sunburst was being very careful. Adagio was inwardly thankful for this, but she refused to show it.

"I know, I know, I know. I didn't mean to do that. I lost control, and I'm very sorry about that."

"Uh-huh."

"You're his friend, right? Has he talked to you about me?"

"Of course." Sunburst said. Adagio felt excitement flutter in her stomach.

"Well, well, what did he say? Wait, wait, no, what's his favorite food? How does he like to entertain himself!? What are his hobbies? Favorite color? Does he like sweets, or does he just make them? What's his favorite position-"

"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there! I'm not here to gossip. I came here because I need to know where you stand in all this. Starlight is certain that you're trying to eat Buck alive. Are you?"

"...No."

"Then what do you want with him, Adagio?' Sunburst asked. It was a simple question, but for Adagio it was like a wrecking ball smashing into a dam.

"I don't knooooooow!!!" Adagio put her head in her hands and let fly a low, pitiful wail. "I just don't want him to hate me! I want to see him again! I don't care what happens next!" Sunburst had caught her off guard and slightly drunk, the bastard. She was a mess. She tasted Sunbursts' genuine concern. He was filled with it.

"...okay. Well, I have good news and bad news, then. Buck will probably forgive you. He's crazy about you."

"He is...?"

"You have no idea, do you? You two have more in common than I thought." Sunburst said with a chuckle. "He was so excited to talk to me about you. I mean, not about this situation, but about you."

"Do you-do you think he'll let me see him again?" Adagio hiccuped. She looked at Sunburst, expecting a bemused expression, but he was deadly serious.

"Well...maybe not. Buck is sensitive, and you really hurt him, there. So what I suggest is you show him some of yourself. Be vulnerable. And apologize."

"I said I was sorry!"

"That's not the whole of it, though. You have to say something like "I'm sorry I hurt you." You have to own it. And then; "I promise it won't happen again." And then you have to follow through. Respect his boundaries. If you can't do that, you aren't worth his time." Sunburst said.

"Excuse me?" Adagio hissed.

"Buck...he's had more than his fair share of women that want to use and abuse him. He doesn't need that. If that's what you are, then he won't bother with you." Sunburst said. "He shouldn't, anyway. Starlight thinks that you want to suck his soul out and use it to destroy the world. I think that's a bit silly; he's just one man, but he's also my best friend. I refuse to let you hurt him again. So I ask again, what do you want with Buck?" Sunburst was a shield, she realized. Adagio looked him over. He was holding his drink gingerly, and he was making eye contact, and he was shaking just a little bit. She tasted his fear, and it was eclipsed by his determination. He would not back down, not when it came to Buck.

Adagio hated this feeling. She respected the man's resolve. She tempered her own.

"I...I just want to see where this goes. Buck, he's..."

"A good guy."

"Yes! And I think that a good guy is what I need right now. Does it have to be anything more than that?" Adagio said. She gritted her teeth at the end of the sentence. This was harder than she thought it would be.

"Can you promise me that you won't hurt him again? Can you swear that you'll work through this? Because Buck is so much more fragile than you think. Just because he looks tough, that doesn't mean he's made of stone." Sunburst said.

"I swear. I'm not going to hurt Buck again. He's different, isn't he?"

"He's one of a kind." Sunburst said. He looked at the ground for a moment. "Do you want to see him? I can come with you." Sunburst put a hand on Adagio's shoulder. He smiled. Adagio grabbed her drink, threw the whole thing into the back of her throat, and took a breath.

"Yes. Can we do that?" She paused. "Please?"

"Sure. Just call him up. He's calmed down by now."

"Are you sure, it hasn't been long..."

"It's been two and a half weeks. And he's miserable."

"Oh..." Adagio pulled the phone from her pocket. She hit Buck's contact and her finger hovered over the call button. "...but what should I say?" She said, desperately. Sunburst pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Just...say, Buck, it's me, I'm genuinely sorry and I want to apologize to you. Can you tell me when you're free? Don't be creepy, or anything, just be honest." Sunburst said. Adagio looked at her phone, then back to him. He was giving a thumbs up. Adagio hit the call button. She heard a click.

"Hello? Who is this?" Oh no. Oh no, he had actually picked up, he wasn't supposed to do that! "Hello?" No no no no no this was all wrong no stop, stop spiraling, just talk to the man! "Is anyone there?" Adagio felt fear grip her heart. She looked at Sunburst, who was still giving a thumbs up, but now looking concerned.

"Buck! Buck, it's me, it's...it's Adagio."

"Oh."

"Pleeeeasedon'thangup."

"...okay?"

"Listen, Buck I..." Adagio looked at Sunburst. "I...well, I'm sorry Buck. I wanted to call and say I'm sorry and I didn't mean to hurt you, but I know that I did." Adagio stammered. She felt embarrassment flush her cheeks. Sunburst was nodding his head, rolling his hands at her to keep going. "I pushed you too far when you were vulnerable to me, and I know that there's nothing I can do to erase that..." Adagio was simpering now. Sunburst was still nodding, but more slowly. "But, I don't want that to be the version of me that you know, Buck. I'm better than that. I promise. And you deserve better than that, Buck!" Adagio put a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. Sunburst looked just as surprised.

Adagio held her breath.

"...okay." Buck said. She couldn't taste him. Adagio hoped that he was feeling forgiving.

"Could I please see you sometime soon?" Adagio said. Her words tiptoed slowly, trying to navigate this minefield.

"...Yes. If we're with other people." Adagio felt herself grow heavier with shame.

"Understood, Buck. Where can we meet?" Adagio said.

"Uh...how about my place, I guess?" Buck said.

"Okay, I'll be there. Can I bring Sunburst?"

"What? Sunburst is there?"

"Hey Buck!" Sunburst said, cheerily.

"What the fuck, Sunburst, did you talk her into this?"

"OopssorryBuckI'mgoingthroughatunnelIcan'thearyouseeyouonSaturdaybyyyyeeee~!" Adagio rambled.

Rather than stow it in her pocket, she whipped the phone across the room where it shattered against a pillar. A member of the hotel staff with a broom and dustpan immediately walked over to clean it up.

"Oh hey, isn't that Norman, from Donut Joes?" Sunburst said.

"I cannot BELIEVE that worked!" Adagio said, hands waving incredulously.

"You mean talking to him?"

"...yes!" Adagio said. She held up her hand as another drink was offered to her.

"Maybe you should try it more often, you think?" Sunburst said.

"What? Absolutely not, that was exhausting." Adagio said. Sunburst slapped his forehead.

The end of the week came, and so too did the fated day. Sunburst had had to explain to Starlight that she could come to the next one, this was just a trial thing, a little get-together. A guy's night. Starlight had told Sunburst that he already has a guy's night where he plays Ogres and Oubliettes. Adagio was shocked that this didn't turn into a fight as Sunburst explained it. He was already in his pyjamas, driving himself and Adagio down the way to Buck's place.

"So, what kind of lovely little estate does Buck live in?"

"Estate?"

"Yes, what sort of sweet little abode does Buck hang his hat in? He owns a house, doesn't he?"

"...what?" Sunburst's eyes were on the road, but Adagio saw him stifle a laugh.

"What do you mean, 'what'? Buck is clearly an exceptional individual, cultured and talented, surely he lives in a delightful little cottage or a studio loft?"

"Prepare to be disappointed." Sunburst said. They pulled into an apartment complex overlooking a small copse of trees. Everything was wood-paneled and blocky. The windows had venetian blinds, dear gods.

"A little Lynchian, Right? You know, the first thing Buck said when I came to visit place is that it looks haunted." Sunburst said, with a chuckle. He pulled into the parking lot. There were some skid marks on the ground, and a dumpster down the way that was well graffitied, and by the look of things, had definitely been set on fire once or twice.

"Oh." Adagio's mental image of Buck sitting on a balcony overlooking Center Park with a beret on his head and a paintbrush in his hand was scurrying away with the raccoon she saw crawling out of the dumpster.

She stepped out of the car, wishing she was in her bathtub at the moment. She was wearing a T-shirt with Joan Jett on the front, and sweatpants. Sunburst had encouraged her to keep it casual. Adagio had elected to go without a bra; she refused to go to Buck's place without properly armoring up first. "So Buck lives here. In this...cozy little place." Adagio said through gritted teeth.

"I mean, it's not so bad. Because, like you said, Buck lives here." Sunburst said, giving Adagio a nudge. There was definitely a wide standing pool of vomit on a nearby curb. Adagio shuddered. What had she gotten herself into? She'd rather there be a body there. It was easier to step over a body.

"Which one does Buck live in?" Adagio said, eyes straight.

"Follow me, he's up on the second floor." Sunburst said. They wandered up a stubby little flight of stairs, Adagio ignoring the wolf whistle from some blonde, red-skinned reprobate as they went. It smelled a bit like stale piss in this hallway. Adagio clenched her jaw. This will be worth it. He'd better be worth it.

Sunburst brought Adagio up to a numbered door, then knocked. "Oh, wait, did you want him to see you when he answers the door?" Sunburst whispered.

"Why would I want that!?" Adagio whisper-yelled.

"So you can apologize to him, Adagio. Mean it, get it out of the way."

"What? I'm not mentally prepared for that! What if he doesn't want to hear it? What if he's still afraid of me?" Adagio hissed. Sunburst squinted at her from behind his glasses.

"Well, you're going to have to do it at some point tonight." Sunburst said. Adagio looked at the ground, crossed her arms. "I don't think I can do this." She mumbled.

"Do what?" Buck said, behind her. Adagio startled and squealed.

Buck had gotten his resolve up and gone down to the corner store to gather the ingredients of a good night. He wasn't sure what exactly Sunburst was planning, or what Adagio would do, but he knew that alcohol and soda and chips were probably very necessary for the night's events. He was carrying a stack of these items up the stairs when he noticed that Sunburst and Adagio were standing outside his apartment. Oh shit. This was actually happening, wasn't it? He felt his pulse quicken instantly. He wondered if Adagio even knew how to apologize. She'd done a decent job sounding sincere over the phone, but Sunburst probably put her up to it.

Damn it, Sunburst. Buck caught himself resenting Sunburst for being such a good friend. He hoped that they weren't in danger tonight, bringing Adagio over. This was a stupid idea, wasn't it?

But then Buck saw Adagio look at the ground and doubt. She was whispering urgently to Sunburst. She looked scared. Buck took a deep breath, and a part of him said then that this would be worth it.

She was trying. He might as well try his best in return.

She'd screamed a little when he rolled up. Oops. Stupid quiet footsteps!

"Hey, uh, Sunburst, my hands are full here, can you get my keys out of my pocket?" Buck said. He turned and pointed his hip at Sunburst, who reached into his back pocket to grab his keys. He saw Adagio watching this exchange with open fascination. Weird.

"What's all this?" Sunburst said, unlocking the door.

"Snacks, for tonight. There's not really a plan, is there? I figured we may as well get like a little drunk and watch cartoons or somethin', I dunno." Buck stole a glance at Adagio. She wouldn't meet his eye.

"Cartoons?" Adagio's curious voice sounded miles away, barely a squeak.

"Oh? We're in for a treat, then!" Sunburst said. You need a hand with those?" He stepped aside and let Buck in.

Adagio quietly shuffled into the little space after Sunburst and Buck. She couldn't look at him. Sunburst gave her a glance over his shoulder, tilting his head at Buck. Adagio glared at him hatefully, then looked away.

"Just make yourself comfortable!" Buck said for a million miles away. Adagio took a slow look at Buck's apartment.

What she saw was a shrine to discarded hobbies. Buck had a modest TV set up with what she distantly recognized as some video game consoles that children liked to play. A Nintendo something-or-other, she thought. There was a coffee table in front of an old couch that looked like it itched, slightly. Adagio saw scattered clues to Buck's goings-ons; there was a weight set in one corner, a dust-covered electric piano leaning on one wall, a small wooden box filled with shiny rocks, and what looked like a poorly made replica of a sword against a hat rack that had some hoodies and a peacoat hanging from it. There were no paintings or pictures on the wall. Across from her, Adagio saw a large window overlooking a scenic view of the disgusting parking lot she had crossed.

Next to the window was a desk that looked like it could be adjusted. An office chair sat before it, one that had an impression in the seat that Adagio recognized as the imprint of Buck's ass. There were two or three mugs of definitely cold tea sitting on the desk, scattered papers and writing implements, a laptop computer, it looked like, and sticky notes scattered and hung all over the place. They said things like 'Abandon perfection' and 'Remember that drafting is just explaining the story to yourself' and 'for fuck's sake clean up these mugs before they come over'.

Across from the desk on the other side of the window were three cheap-looking bookshelves that appeared to be standing room only. A truly eclectic collection of novels and instructional drawing books and comic collections and some self-help books. Poetry books as well, and Adagio saw on a separate shelf were books of various shapes with names like 'Ogres and Oubliettes', 'Numenera' and 'Shadow of the Demon Lord'. There were stubby little books with big-eyed characters on them sitting on a stubby little shelf. The toppest shelves of the largest one were dominated by weighty tomes with names like 'The Art of Overwatch'. 'One Piece Color Walk' and 'The Impressionists and their Legacy.' Adagio had so many questions.

"Hmm..." Adagio hummed in thought. She heard things being set down in the hilariously tiny kitchen across the apartment. Her eyes slid back to the desk. She looked down below the desk and her eyes lit up when saw a shoebox that said "Good Vibes" in marker on the top hidden in the corner of the desks' shade.

Adagio squatted down and opened the shoebox, expecting to find evidence of a kinky little fixation of Buck's, and frowned when she found a few plastic containers with labels like 'CBT' and 'THC' on them. Never in her life did she think she'd be disappointed to find drugs instead of dildos. Well, then again, hadn't Buck said that a girl had gotten at his prostate before? Perhaps he had simply gotten his boxes mixed up. That sounded plausible.

"Are you going through my stuff?" He was behind her again. How did he keep doing that? Adagio rose to her feet and began stammering in the same motion. Apologies and excuses dammed up on the tip of her tongue.

"I-I-I didn't, I mean, I didn't mean to, I...sorry?" She said. Buck's face was stern as he looked from her to his desk. A shadow of cold horror crossed his face.

"Did you look at my search history?" Buck asked, with the stillness and patience of a hanging guillotine.

"...your what? I-I mean, uh, no?" Adagio said. She was now anxiously tapping her index fingers together. Buck sighed.

"D'you normally rifle through people's things when you visit, or am I just special?" Buck said. Adagio didn't have an answer. She looked at her feet. "If you wanted to know my interests, you could just, y'know, ask me." Buck said. Adagio nodded her head. Buck turned to head back to the kitchen. I'm screwing this up so bad already, Adagio thought.

"Actually, Buck, I think Adagio wanted to say something to you, isn't that right?" Sunburst said from the kitchen. Adagio glared over in his direction just to see Sunburst waving his hands urgently at her, giving her the kind of look you gave to a small child who refused to take a nap. "Go on." He mouthed out. Adagio put her fingers to her temples and shut her eyes.

"Buck." Adagio said. She was getting used to the feel of his name on her tongue. Buck turned around and looked at Adagio. His face was terrifyingly blank. She couldn't get a read on his emotional state.

"Buck, I'm sorry for what I did. I, I hurt you and I didn't listen to you and I took advantage of you, and I'm sorry. I understand if even after tonight you don't want to see me, but I need you to know that I'm truly remorseful for what I did. You deserve better treatment than that." It was hard to look at him. His lighthouse eyes were shining down into her. There was nowhere she could hide, so she squared her shoulders and looked back at him. "I don't expect you to forgive me, but I promise you it won't happen again."

"...okay." Buck said, simply. He turned and stepped back into the kitchen. Adagio looked at Sunburst. He was smiling and nodding at her. Adagio shrugged at him, gestured at Buck. Sunburst nodded again.

"Okay? What does that mean, okay?" Adagio said. She followed after Buck.

"It's okay. I forgive you, Adagio."

"Just like that!?" Adagio said. She noticed her own tone rising in indignation. Buck turned to her and smiled.

"Just like that." His eyes were gentle and warm, but then they flickered to stern. "I'm letting this go, Adagio. But understand; you're on probation."

"What does that mean, exactly?"

"I'm giving you another chance. Because I really do like you, Adagio." Buck said. He stepped toward her. Adagio took a step back. "I want to be able to trust you." He moved closer again. Adagio stepped away, but Buck kept approaching. Adagio felt fear coursing through her. Her own fear. He was a tidal wave.

"And I know that you want me to trust you, too. You want to be better, I know you do." Buck said. Adagio's hip bumped into the couch. She was running out of space to retreat. Buck was starting to look concerned.

Stop that. Please.

"So I'm letting you stay in my life. Do you want to stay?" The dam behind Adagio's eyes was cracking again. She tried to step back and her back instead found the wall.

"Yes." Adagio choked out.

"Do you like me? Do you want to try being my friend?" Buck asked. His smile was small and soft. Adagio wanted to touch his lips. She wanted to hold him. She wanted to do much, much more with him.

But 'friends' sounded wonderful.

"Yes, Buck. I do." Adagio said. It was a whisper now.

"Then it's okay." Buck said, simply. He smiled and patted her shoulder.

She believed him. She thought that her knees might buckle under her. Don't start crying again. No pity, tonight.

"You okay?" Buck asked. She nodded at him. "Okay. You want to sit down while I finish getting things together?" Buck said. His big strong hand had shifted to the small of her back again. His warmth was spreading through her.

"Mhm." Adagio hummed. She sat on the couch and she watched Buck's every move as he headed back to the kitchen.

"Hey! Hey you, you stop that! I'm the one hostin' tonight, so you don't get to do any work!" Buck shouted at Sunburst, who was washing what looked like a couple of pots and a baking sheet.

"Aw come on Buck, let me help at least a little."

"Fuckin' scram, Sunburst! Stop cleaning and go sit down! Go on, git!" Buck said. He was smiling. So was Sunburst.

"Jesus man, are you crying...?" Sunburst said. He must've thought Adagio couldn't hear him.

"Shut up, Sunburst!!!" Buck said. "Go shut up over there! On the couch!" Buck pointed.

"Fine, fine, I'm going, don't hit!" Sunburst said, hands up. He chuckled as he flopped onto the couch.

"Thank you!" Buck said. He swiftly gathered up a bowl of doritos and a bowl of fritos, setting them on the coffee table. Then he ran back to the kitchen.

"Y'all! What's your first round gonna be? We got vodka and rum, and we've got coke and mountain dew!" Buck said. Vodka and mountain dew sounded cursed, so the answer was obvious. Buck came back after orders with three rum and cokes. Then he scurried back into the kitchen, coming back with a plate that had...Adagio gasped; a bunch of blood orange tarts, the same as what she had at Sugar Cube Corner!

Buck brought out the delectable treats and placed them before Adagio and Sunburst. He looked at them, sheepishly.

"It's my first time making them at home, so don't be a dick." Buck said. Adagio had taken one into her mouth before he even finished the sentence. The crust was grainy, but the filling was tangier than what she'd had before.

"I...prefer my crust to be fluffier." Adagio said.

"Ah." Buck said. She tasted his dejection. She frowned.

"But, but the filling is amazing!" Sunburst said, quickly.

"You think so?" Buck said. Hope.

"Yes, absolutely! Just a tiny bit more practice, and they'll be perfect. You have a real talent for this, Buck." Adagio said.

"Aw man, that's nothing. You should see the kinda stuff my sister puts together. She taught me everything I know about sweets." Buck said. He bashfully turned away, grabbed some little disposable plates from the kitchen, and set them on the table. "Okay, done. So what are we watching?" Buck said.

"Well, I don't know. Adagio, what kinds of cartoons do you like?" Sunburst asked. Adagio had a mouthful of tart in that moment. Cartoons. Cartoons were those things that children watched, right? She didn't own a television; the one in the living room of her suite belonged to Sonata. What was the play, here? She could lie about it, but somehow that seemed like a hilarious faux pas considering the amount of illustrated characters on Buck's bookshelf.

"Uhm...that is to say...I...don't...know? I don't really watch cartoons."

"What!?" Buck said, finally sitting down. Oh no. Had she offended him?

"Uh-oh." Sunburst said. "Media arts and Animation was Buck's major." He continued.

"Until I quit." Buck corrected. "I know you don't have a computer..."

"WHAT!?" Sunburst said. Adagio cringed.

"Do you like, not know anything about cartoons or do you not like them?"

"I don't...I don't know, I haven't really watched any." Adagio admitted. She cringed again as the two men gasped in awe.

"You're joking!" Sunburst said. He was looking at Buck, incredulously. Adagio felt something sunny and lemony bubbling up from Buck.

"Look at his face, look at his face!" Sunburst mouthed out. Adagio turned her head and saw that Buck had his hands put together in a prayer position in front of his mouth. He was smiling ear to ear. His eyes were wide.

"Uh..." Adagio's eyes flitted from Buck's face, then to Sunburst's, then back to Buck's in panic.

"Adagio!" Buck said, urgently. He took her hands in his. Adagio's eye twitched. She blushed. She was completely lost, and a little terrified and perhaps teeniest, tiniest bit turned on.

"Yes Buck!?" Adagio said.

"Would you like me to introduce you to the wonderful world of nerd shit?" Buck said.

"...yes?" Adagio said.

"Starting with animation, obviously?" Buck said. It was urgent like he was asking for life-saving surgery or a comfort salad. Adagio looked to Sunburst. His smile was almost as big as Buck's. No help. Buck's hands were trembling around Adagio's.

"Am I going to regret it if I say 'yes?" Adagio squeaked. Buck looked quizzical for a moment, seemed to run some numbers in his head. He looked to Sunburst for guidance.

"Yes?" Buck asked.

"No!" Sunburst said.

"No? Maybe?" Buck asked.

"Maybe. A little." Sunburst said.

"A little?" Buck said.

"Maybe." Sunburst said.

"Maybe." Buck said to Adagio, with finality. This told her exactly nothing about what she was signing up for.

"...okay." Adagio said.

"Yeah?" Buck said.

"I said Yes, Buck!" Adagio said, annoyed.

"Excellent. Sunburst! Disney or Ghibli first?"

"Disney! I wouldn't mind hearing you sing tonight." Sunburst said, already drinking from his glass.

"What?" Adagio said.

"Rad! Let's do it. Moana?" Buck said.

"Moana!" Sunburst said.

"Moana?" Adagio said.

"YEAH!" Buck said. He and Sunburst high-fived.

Adagio learned a few things that night. For one, Buck really loved talking over animation. Sunburst had had to tell him to let Adagio enjoy the film instead of talking about the specific animation and compositing and cinematography techniques on display, or the subtleties of the scripting or wondering how the "boards played out" whatever that meant. A bard would always be a bard, no matter the medium, it seemed.

He refused to be quiet during certain musical numbers, however. As soon as the song "You're Welcome" started up, Buck was on his feet, singing along and posing and dancing. And that was before he had gotten drunk. Adagio fell head over heels in love with the villains of the disney films she was shown, especially a certain sea witch who swam and sang and caroused and coerced with charm and charisma. Buck had spent that whole musical number smirking at Adagio with his arms crossed, but she hadn't noticed. She was absolutely enraptured.

They had taken a brief break from movies then, and had switched gears to some...sort of thing called 'Centaurworld' that Buck seemed to like a lot. It was a colorful and extremely inventive mess about a fierce equine woman traveling with a gaggle of absolute morons. How nostalgic. When Buck said he thought this was what Equestria was like based on Sunset's testimonials, Adagio admitted that that assessment was not entirely inaccurate.

At some point during the goings-on, Adagio managed to sit on the floor between Buck and Sunburst, and while some kind of visual spectacle about a goldfish turning into a little girl was playing out in front of her, she had felt Buck reach out and start lightly caressing her hair. Was he patronizing her, or could he just not help himself? He never even seemed to notice that Adagio was without a bra.

Adagio decided that she definitely did enjoy animation, especially when Sunburst mentioned that Buck apparently had a 'big fuck off hentai collection' which seemed to make Buck nervous for a half-second before he threw back a shot of rum and said that it was 'waaaaay bigger now since you last saw it'. Adagio didn't know what hentai was; it sounded a lot like a dick joke, but Buck explained it was animated pornography and 'shut up Sunburst it's ART!'.

The night progressed at a silly and jocular pace, Adagio bathing in the intense platonic camaraderie between Buck and Sunburst. She could swear they had to have been married in a previous life. As the alcohol kept flowing, it carried Buck and Adagio's reticence downstream. Sunburst refused at any point to let the conversation get awkward. Sunburst seemed to have a weird reference to him and Buck's friendship for every situation. At least once he got Buck to start rambling in a humorously angry voice just by saying the word...THACO? They had spelled it out, but Adagio didn't understand what an Armor Class was so it all sailed right over her head. She caught herself feeling jealous of their enduring bromance, but they never excluded her. In fact, Buck seemed keenly interested in hearing her opinions and impressions about the films that were presented to her. She couldn't comment on the technical aspects, but her mind was abuzz with costume ideas and thoughts about the musical numbers and the drama, the drama!

At some point later on in the night, Adagio and Sunburst were washing their glasses out in the sink, getting ready to switch from rum to vodka, when Sunburst started chuckling.

"Do you see it yet?" Sunburst said, cryptically. She could see the pleasant heat in his cheeks from the drink.

"See what?" Adagio said, rinsing her cup.

"Buck. Do you see it in him? He's...he takes a long time to open up to people."

"He does?"

"Well, you're an obvious exception, but usually he takes a while to open up to people and show them what he actually is. Do you see it, yet?" Sunburst said. He chuckled to himself like he was telling a very private and very intertextual joke.

"...I'm not sure what you mean. What Buck actually is? What is he, exactly?" Adagio said. Her words slurred just the tiniest bit. It was nice.

"Ooooh, Adagio. Can I call you Adagio?" Sunburst said, smirking.

"That is my name, yes." Adagio said.

"That's Buck's secret, Adagio. When he gets used to you? He's the most affectionate man in the world."

"Excuse me?"

"Hey Buck, babe, I could use some love right nooooow!" Sunburst shouted. Buck, who Adagio was very certain had been sitting upside down on the couch watching some Looney Tunes, was suddenly behind Sunburst. He wrapped his arms around Sunburst and lifted him up, rocking him back and forth. Adagio could swear she heard Sunburst's back crack.

"Hnnngh! Izzat good enough?" Buck said, smiling. He was holding Sunburst up in his arms. He made the man look weightless.

"Yes, yes, feeling very loved now, thank you!" Sunburst said, laughing. He patted Buck's beefy arm and Buck set him down gently. "See what I mean? He's full of love!" Sunburst said.

"Thish isn't even my final form!" Buck said, patting Sunburst on the head.

"Okay, Adagio, you try. He likes you, I think, so it should work. Wait. Buck!?" Sunburst said. Buck had in the space of Sunbursts' sentiment gone over to his desk to pick up a fidget cube that he was now messing with.

"Huh!?" Buck said. Adagio looked at him incredulously. How does he move so quietly?

"Buck." Sunburst said. He smirked at Adagio, then stood behind her and grabbed her shoulders. "Buck, you like Adagio, right?" Sunburst pointed at her for emphasis, poking her cheek lightly. Adagio wished that looks could actually kill.

Buck for his part put his hands on his cheeks and giggled like a schoolgirl. "I-I-I dunnooooo....!" Buck said, almost demurely, if the role of 'demurely' was played by a very drunken actor in an off-broadway play.

"What, Buck, c'mon, I know you like her, don't pretend!"

"Oh, hey, Scoots, when did you get here?" Buck said. Scootaloo was standing next to Buck now, apparently, and she was also apparently at this party. She had a bottle of hard cider in her hand. Adagio found this adorable because it was clearly half empty and she was drunker than Adagio was.

"He's CRAZY about you, lady! Did you know that!?" Scoots said, half focused on Adagio and a quarter focused on not spilling her drink. The rest of her focus was waiting to be picked up on a curb somewhere. "You gotta know that, I mean look at you!" Scoots said.

"Awww, is she flirting?" Adagio said, looking at Sunburst. Sunburst shrugged.

"No! A little! I'm not on trial here! Buck! Buck likes you, I swear!" Scootaloo said. She ran around to Buck's back and started pushing Buck in Adagio's direction. It would have been entirely ineffectual were Buck not drunk. In this instance, Buck was jostled by the small woman in the direction of the kitchen where Adagio was drying her hands. She couldn't decide if this was terrifying or all according to plan. Buck was smiling apologetically. Was that it? Or was he just smiling at her? It was hard to tell.

"Do you want to try it, Adagio? Just ask him." Sunburst said. It was probably meant to be a stage whisper. Adagio looked at her feet, then at Buck. Scootaloo was trying to climb up his back.

"Buck?" Adagio said. The blush was from the drink. It had to be. This was such a nothing conversation. Why was she so nervous, now?

"Yeah, Adagio?" Buck said. Scootaloo was nibbling on his bicep. Buck grabbed her with both hands and then Scootaloo squawked as Buck casually threw her onto the couch.

"Can I have some love, Buck? Just a little bit?" Adagio said. She held out her arms.

"A little bit? That's like, that's like a big ask, from me." Buck said, scratching his chin.

"It really is. He's a big ol' lap dog, that one!" Scootaloo said. Adagio saw her finger raise from the couch, then flop back down.

"Shut up, Scoots!" Buck said, quickly.

"Love you too, big guy!" Scootaloo said.

"But, yeah. I think I can do that." Buck said. He stepped over to Adagio. Her heart was racing. She hadn't put her arms down, she realized. Buck slid his arms around her shoulders, pulled her to his chest. He was so gentle! Adagio squeezed him and sighed. It was a really good hug, Adagio thought. She wished she had better words for it, but she was thoroughly poisoned already, and now a wave of sugary affection was seeping into her dummy brain and making it dummier. Adagio peaked over at Sunburst, who was walking over to the couch with a glass of water for Scootaloo, leaving Adagio to cling to Buck in the kitchen.

"I'm so glad you apologized." Buck whispered. "I didn't want to stay mad at you." He said.

"S...stop making me cry, you big...dummy...!" Adagio said. Her hands clutched the back of Buck's tank top. Her tears wet the front. "Please tell me this is okay. I'm allowed to be here, right?" Adagio murmured.

"You are. I want you to be here." Buck said. He was quiet for a moment. "Do you really, actually want to get to know me, Adagio?" Buck said. She felt his whole body hitch for just a second. She nodded against his chest.

"I really, actually do." She said, and it...it was true.

"And you're okay with going slow...? It's going to be weird. I'm weird, and I'm...a lot. You're okay with being my friend first, right?" Buck whimpered. Adagio looked up at him. He was crying too, now. It was her fault. But, she knew that she could fix this. She'd been doing it all night.

"Mhm. I'm okay with going slow, Buck." Adagio nodded. She smiled at him.

Buck's smile crumpled, and Adagio thought for a moment that she had said the wrong thing. But she tasted him, and he tasted like relief. The kind of relief that comes at the end of a hard day and the beginning of a warm bath.

He wanted to ask her something else. She could see it on his face, but she also tasted that he was terrified. Adagio kept smiling, as sweetly as she could. There was a deep hurt in his eyes.

This wasn't her; someone else had done this to Buck.

Whoever it was, she would destroy them if she ever had a chance.

"We can take our time, Buck." Adagio said. She wasn't sure if it was the right answer. Buck leaned down and kissed her forehead. It was like fireworks went off in her brain. Adagio felt unsteady like she would faint, but Buck held her up. He wouldn't let her fall.

"Hey, do you guys wanna watch some anime, next!?" Scootaloo shouted from the couch. She was holding up a small and shiny cardboard box. It had the image of a bunch of stuff on it, predominately a screaming man with a pompadour and the words 'Space Dandy' on top.

Buck let go of Adagio and quickly wiped his face. She refused to take her arms from around his waist. Buck looked down at her for a moment, then put a hand on her shoulder and looked deadpan at Scootaloo and Sunburst.

"Fuck yeah." He said.

And so Saturday Night Cartoons and Vodka became a weekly event at Buck's place.

Every Saturday, Sunburst and Adagio and Scootaloo came over to Buck's little rat shit apartment, and they would drink and complain about things and watch cartoons, movies, and other assorted media. Every time, Adagio would be introduced to strange and incredible new worlds, and she would listen to Buck ramble about animated storytelling, and Scootaloo make jokes that were as bad as they were loud, and all the while Sunburst somehow managed to keep a coherent conversation going between the four of them.

Weeks passed like this and Adagio found she was very comfortable with drinking in a room full of platonic affection on a weekly basis. Buck's love came in large volumes, so it was wiser to swim on top of it rather than drink it. It was cozy. Adagio liked cozy. She slowly felt herself picking up on the nomenclature of the group, and even a few inside jokes. Eventually, however, Adagio had the sobering thought that she was getting comfortable with the idea of Buck being her friend.

This would not do.

Author's Note

Song Review: Cartoons and Vodka speaks to my soul. It's a song that begs the audience to shut up, sit down and enjoy some cartoons while losing the stresses of the week in the bottom of a shot of booze. I like choosing song titles that match the mood of the core engagement of the chapter, and the deflating feeling that comes after a period of strife is the exact vibe I wanted.
The line about Buck feeling tired is one of the more horrifying bits of emotional weight I've put into the story. Conflating the burnout of minimum wage workers with the exhaustion of emotional betrayals is a gross and relatable concept.
Sometimes you just get tired of being angry.