Tossing and turning, rolling over and under, cocooning and unraveling. How many ways can a changeling rustle around in their bed sheets? The hotel bed was a mess of bunched up sheets, strewn about pillows, and a comforter that had been thrown haphazardly aside.
Discomfort was drawn on Ocellus’ face as plainly as she could feel it all over her body. It wasn’t an itchy, achey, or nauseous discomfort, just the feeling of unrelenting restlessness.
Reading didn’t do anything for her. Incenses and herbs were still lit from her horribly failed meditation attempt. She slammed her hooves on the bed and screamed out her hopelessness into her pillow.
It had been such a good day too.
Professor Autumn Blaze had taken them all to Manehattan for a theatre field trip. Yona had convinced them all to go on the trip together just like she had wrangled them into that summer play.
Ocellus marvelled at the architecture and the long storied history of the theatre they visited. The highlight was a story the tour guide told about a troubled but beautiful performance of As You Like It sixty years ago. She could have listened to that mare’s story for hours.
Now it was all ruined because of her stupid body or her dumb brain. She didn’t know which.
“Yona, Silver, Smo, I can’t focus,” she called out to the adjacent bedroom—the others had agreed to let Ocellus use the second room as a private reading room. “You want to bounce me around as a ball till I can’t think anymore? It’ll be fun! I can be really bouncy!”
No response.
“Girls?” Ocellus called out again.
Still nothing. Ocellus crept toward their door. The hotel was too quiet for her noisy bunch of friends. The room should have been booming with their laughter and unrestrained outdoor voices. Instead she could only hear the ceaseless buzzing of her wings refusing to be contained within their feeble shell.
The room was empty. It was a mess—to be expected—but still empty. They weren’t under the bed nor in the bathroom and then it hit her. She forgot all about Silverstream’s plan for them to all go to a restaurant.
It was fine. She had a map. She could just go meet them there.
“Oh wait.”
Silver never told her which restaurant it was.
“This is fine. It's all fine,” she told herself. She just had to keep herself busy with cleaning the room and she’d forget all about whatever is going on with her body. It wasn’t working. She had to do something. Something had to change!
“I wonder what the boys are doing,” she thought aloud.
As the words left her maw, the strange restlessness that had been dancing across her body like static, made a wave down her spine. It felt oddly right. She felt her ears perk up. The nearby mirror drew her body in. She looked at herself in the mirror, blue flames stirring at her feet.
“I wonder”—she smiled—“what the boys are doing.”
“Sandbaaaaaaaar,” Gallus whined.
He had spread himself over Sandbar’s belly who had already long given up on trying to get his field trip assignment done in Gallus’ presence. The griffon had a war plan of annoyance tactics. First there was bouncing a ball over his head when he tried to write, and taking all of his pencils and quills to use as personal playthings.
Now, he resorted to just being needy.
Sandbar let out a sigh. “Fine, what do you want? Since apparently getting my assignment done is illegal.”
“I’m bored!”
“Then we can write our paper on the camaraderie of theatre together.”
“Nooo, that's even more boring,” Gallus twisted himself around to lay atop Sandbar beak to snout, “Sandy we’re in the big city for one more night and you want to waste it doing homework. You’re making your inner child cry!”
“I’m actually very intouch with my inner child. I’ve been taking these sessions with Pink—”
Gallus shoved a talon against Sandbar's lips. “Shss shss shsh. We!” He grabbed Sandbar by the shoulders and flew him out toward the window overlooking the city washed in lights backdropped against a starless sky. “Are going out!”
“This is so exciting. A real boys night out.”
Gallus and Sandbar froze. Their ears twitched at the sound of a voice both familiar and strange. Each whipped their heads straight behind them, back to their intruding friend who loo different.
“When did you get in here!” Sandbar yelped. “I didn’t even hear the door.”
“Uh, boy’s night?” Gallus asked.
“Yeah, boys night.” That strange voice came from Ocellus.
She squeezed between her best guy friends. Her only guy friends really.
“Just, me and the boys!'' Ocellus smiled.
Gallus’ ears fluttered in reaction to every syllable from the changeling’s mouth. Ocellus’ voice was so boyish. Still soft and gentle as he was used to hearing, but with a deeper resonance.
Sandbar tilted one of his ears. “Is something up?”
“Yeah, are you in some type of mood? You’re not usually this energetic or eh,” Gallus gestured to Ocellus’ whole being with a sweep of his wing, “all this.”
“Oh, you mean all this?” Ocellus stepped back looking over their own body.
For the most part it looked the same as usual. Blue in colour, small and thin, covered in a bug-like shell. From there, the differences were minor but immediately recognizable. A little taller, an ounce bulkier, and with a more discernible but soft jawline.
“I just felt like a change of pace I guess,” Ocellus said.
“Is that something you can just feel like?” Gallus asked.
“It happens sometimes. I just normally do it in private.” Ocellus looked to his friends and was met with twin looks of confusion “You can just think of me as one of the boys for the day. Unless it's making you uncomfortable then I can turn back.”
“No no n—” Gallus cut himself off with a cough, “I mean. It's fine. You just don't normally do this kind of thing y'know. It's a little shocking.”
“I know. I guess these sorts of feelings build up when I have to hold back on transforming here,” Ocellus said, “Or maybe Silver and Smolder's impulses are rubbing off on me.”
“So uhh,” Sandbar twitched his neck around trying to stimulate the words out of his throat, “Can we still call you Ocellus?”
“Eh? Did Ocellus seem like a gendered name to you guys?”
Sandbar and Gallus turned into a duet of coughs and sputters.
No. I mean… well. Who can really say… I mean, like.... It's uh... Y’know. It has an O.
Whaaat naah, pfft Who me—I didn’t—I never thought—It’s sorta—Changeling names am I right?
“Yes, my name’s still Ocellus. Now come on, I wanna focus on boys night! Where are we going?”
In Ponyville when the sun went down, so did the town—Manehattan was nothing like Ponyille. Ponies were still on the mainstreets in droves. What creatures always said about the city was that ponies will pass you by without a care, that no one says hi, let alone look at you on the street. That was probably true, but to Ocellus it was feeling like a big fat lie right now. He could—to some extent literally—feel eyes on him and Gallus as they walked by.
He was a changeling and Gallus had an interesting colouration. Some staring was only natural. If they were only just stares. No, they were getting looks . It was one thing to see girls walk by Gallus and hear them murmur amongst themselves. That was everyday, but Ocellus had never felt it happen to himself before.
For a moment, he thought maybe he had given in to his vanity a little too much. Accidentally made himself a bit too ideal. It wouldn’t be the first time. It's only natural for a shapeshifter to want to make themselves look desirable.
Ocellus followed Sandbar’s lead, who was following Gallus’ lead. It’s not like either of them knew a thing about Manehattan. Ocellus had done his research. He knew about the city’s rich theatre history, some museums, a couple must see restaurants, a marvelous aquarium, and an amazing zoo, but none of that was very boys' night.
Clubs, bars, and hitting on girls; that was boys night! Or at least that's what listening to sitcoms on the radio had taught him. Just one night like the stories and Gallus was going to lead him straight to it.
If only he had any idea where in the pluck Gallus was taking them. The brightly lit and crowded downtown streets turned into quiet avenues lit only by street lamps and home only to groups of griffons and mules lounging on stoops and street corners.
Sandbar inched closer to Ocellus’ side.
Ocellus buzzed his wings. “Gallus, where exactly are we going?”
“Yeah dude, is it really safe out here?”, Sandbar asked nervously. “I’ve heard stories about the city, and they aren’t nice.”
“Aww don’t tell me you're scared of other creatures now?” Gallus said, smirking over his tail.
“What!” Sandbar practically choked on his own rebuttal, “No! It's not like that. It's just ya know, dark out here and it looks rough.”
“Oh, you know what the rough side of a city looks like?”
“Well… no.”
With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, Ocellus slung a foreleg over Sandbar’s shivering shoulder. “Don’t worry. Gallus wouldn’t lead us somewhere we’d get hurt. Isn’t that right Gallus?”
“Not on purpose,” he said with a coy gesture of his hand and a devilish deliberate snicker.
Feeling the weight of frustration drag his eyes down Ocellus mumbled, “You could try to not tease him for ten seconds.”
Gallus led them into some sort of apartment complex. They stopped at an entrance lit only by a single bright orange light above a thin metal barred door that reminded Ocellus of a dungeon. As Gallus gripped the rusty black bars it creaked like one too.
The tight eerily lit hall was only made more uncomfortable when all they could hear was the sound of each other's steps and… music? Muffled, and bassy, but that was certainly the sound of music as they turned down a set of stairs that's clearly seen its share of stains. Fruit punch stains Ocellus told himself.
“This is it.” Gallus stopped in front of a dark apartment door. It was dark and secluded, the only light came from the barred gap just near the ceiling that let in the hazy street light.
Ocellus and Sandbar huddled together forming a two headed, eight legged sentry keeping watch for danger.
Knock click knock click click bang.
Once Gallus had finished his performance with the door, the peep hole slid back revealing a set of yellow eyes. A coy smile and a flick of his tail and the door opened right up for him.
I’ve gotta learn how to do that, Ocellus thought.
“Come on in, guys, Wonderland awaits,” Gallus said, skipping through the door with his tail up like a peacock.
The door must have been a portal because there was no way this was the same place. Dreamy mist drifted across their feet, spilling out from the dark hall before them lined with a ruby red glow along the edges of the floor. At the other end of the hall, a door with a logo of a sultry griffon all in Neon. Light burst through the crack of the door as it yawned open.
“Dude, how did you know about a place like this?” Sandbar asked, making sure to stick as close as possible.
“How is this place…” The words dropped off Ocellus’ tongue as he stared slack jawed at the dancing lights and decorations.
He could have sworn he had was walking into some rundown apartment. Whatever magician had cast the spell to turn the interior into the most extravagant nightclub he’d ever seen—and he'd snuck his way into quite a few for research purposes—must be the best in the world.
Gallus shot his friends a prideful smile.“What can I say? I'm well connected. You guys wanna hit the bar first or make some bets?”
“Geez, is there a casino here too?” asked Sandbar.
“Nah, they got a small racetrack in the back. Real underground stuff. There's a pool too if you prefer that. I can show you the ropes for either really.“
“I dunno man. I don’t really have that kind of money besides.” Sandbar shrank as he looked around himself. “I’m not really sure this is my kinda thing it’s all so… adult ya know? I mean we shouldn’t even be out drinking on a field trip, right Ocellus?” Sandbar turned to the empty space on his left. “Ocellus?”
“Do you have Kahlua here? Yes, I want that please and thank you.” Ocellus had already made himself at home at the bar.
“Oh.”
“Drinks first it is.” Gallus gave Sandbar a slap on the back that nearly shook the pony off his hooves. “Loosen up a bit, it’s all cool. You can have water if you want. Probably better if one of us stays clear headed anyway.”
Changelings have an expanded sense of the world. Contrary to what some rumors might say a changeling can’t see everything around them, but they do have a vague sense for feelings. Changeling representatives compare it to the way ponies claim they can get the feeling of being watched except for real.
Right now, Ocellus was getting the vaugest feeling someone was looking at his butt, like, really staring.
“Hey, Cel.” Gallus said, taking the seat beside him, and bumping into his shoulder.
Sandbar sat on Ocellus’ other side looking like a small breed shivering at the dog park.
“Oh, hey Gallus.” Ocellus stifled a laugh. His eyes were drawn to Gallus’ tail and just how much it was curling back and forth, more like a housecat than a lion. With each trip it came just a little bit closer to brushing against his chitin. “Hey were you, uhh?”
His tail stopped, “Was I what?”
The nausea of blush —just one of the downsides of being a changeling— rushed up to Ocellus’ face. “Nevermind. It's nothing.”
“Did you guys even bring the money to be drinking like this?” Sandbar shuffled in his seat as if bits would fall from behind his ears. “I've only got a couple bits on me.”
“Well, I don’t know about Gallus, but me and Yona got credit cards from the kingdom with a monthly limit. I can get you anything.”
Smirk taking over his face, Gallus leaned into the bar table. His skinny blue body melted into it in a way that showed off that feline fluidity. “Please, I’ve never paid for a drink at a bar in my life. Check this out.”
Gallus turned back to the rest of the bar. The way his eyes scanned the room was like when he’d hunt for mice on the school grounds. They landed on a lone griffon. His tail waved for their attention in slow sweeping motions, and on command Gallus’ target came over.
A chipper looking griffon waltzed over to their end of the bar. “Hey lil’ hen. Did I catch your attention?” Ocellus could swear she saw Gallus’ ears twitch at the word hen.
“I just caught the light shimmering off those golden feathers.”
When Gallus spoke, the other griffon’s confident smirk fell flat for a moment. His tail twisted behind him as if to mimic the gears turning in his head. His tail stopped. Processing complete. The golden griff leaned in, his smile even brighter than before. “Aren't I the one who’s supposed to pay the cutie compliments? That's how the game usually goes doesn’t it.”
“I’m a little busy tonight. I don’t wanna play typical. I just want to see a nice guy and let him know what's up.”
“Then you can lay it all on me over a drink.” He tapped the bar with his talon “Yo, Dulland, what ever glass he wants on my tab”
“Daiquiri please.”
“So you wanna find a table to talk?”
“Actually, I’m showing my friends around tonight,” Gallus gestured. Ocellus gave his wavering shot of his most flattering smile while Sandbar plainly waved with a glazed grin and a ‘sup’. “They’re not exactly night people so I can’t leave ‘em alone. Buuut I already took your drink so tell you what.” Gallus took a napkin and one of Sandbar’s stolen pencils. “This is the hotel I’m staying at.”
That wasn’t the right hotel, Ocellus noted.
“Come by reception tomorrow and we can meet up.”
Ocellus turned his eyes toward his drink. They’d be back in Ponyville by tomorrow night.
“And maybe if my friends here find some entertainment of their own. I can come find you myself.”
“Hotel? You’re just a tourist yourself then? You sure you don’t need someone to help you around.”
“I know the city well enough to find this place don’t I?” Gallus slid the other griffon the napkin, and waved him off. For a moment it didn’t seem like he was quite going to leave them alone but after some thought the Griffon seemed satisfied enough with the address and left.
Ocellus stared in plain astonishment. “Wow, just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“You just sit at the bar and guys get you drinks cause you’re pretty?”
“Hey, I have to work it a bit.” His hips punctuated his sentence, and Ocellus was happy to study their style of grammar. “It doesn’t just fall in my lap. Besides it’s just not guys but yeah, mostly guys. They’re more fun.”
“If I had a bit for every time some dude walked up to me, pointed at Gallus, and went ‘yo dude you gotta introduce me to her,' I could buy this place myself.” Sandbar leaned his face into his hoof. “And everytime I tell em ‘Dude, Gallus is a guy.’ and the crazy thing is almost every time they’re even more interested. I don’t get it!” Sandbar beat a hoof against the table. “They already want a cute girl! Why would they want a guy that looks like a girl even more? I don’t understand.”
Gallus smirked.“It’s cause ya’ don’t got taste, Sandy.”
“We find your lack of culture disturbing.” Ocellus and Gallus shared a fist bump and a laugh.
“I swear I’m the last straight stallion on earth.”
“Yeah probs.” Gallus shrugged.
“RIP to the pony race” Ocellus raised his glass before downing a gulp of his drink. “To think we spent a thousand years in a secret war with ponies when all we had to do was wait for them to gay themselves away. Years of academy, wasted.”
“Really played yourselves huh?” added Gallus.
“Playing everyone—especially ourselves—Is the entirety of changeling history.”
Sandbar took another sip of his responsible horse water. “So speaking of the changelings. Is this whole thing like, a changeling thing?”
The three took the moment to look Ocellus over from head to toe again, and as much as Ocellus could get distracted checking out his own transformations, he couldn’t help but notice one of these boy’s eyes was lingering on places a bit more than the other.
“What? Do you like it?” Ocellus’ impish grin may have been directed at Sandbar, but he wasn’t the one who could feel Ocellus’ hoof brushing against their paw.
Sandbar groaned. “We were just over this. I’m like a line segment. Two points, no deviations.”
“Yeah I know. Anyway, I don’t think so.” Ocellus took a long sip of his kahlua. The smooth taste rolled through as she tried to align all the scrabble pieces in his head into the actual thoughts an intelligent being would have. “So, ponies change their hair all the time. Sometimes you get tired of something and want to try a new style.” Scrabble is a harder game than ponies think.
“Yeah, changing your whole gender is totally like that,” scoffed Gallus.
“He can transform dude, it kinda is like that,” Sandbar replied flatly.
“I guess it is really easy for us, but I still think the feeling’s pretty normal. Sure, I have the luxury of just acting on it whenever, but don’t either of you ever wonder what it's like to be a girl sometimes?”
Silence.
“Don’t go dark on me.”
The boys silence persisted. Ocellus sighed and tried his best to arrange more of his thoughts. “The girls think about it. Being a guy sometimes I mean.” The boys raised a brow. “Yeah, Yona talks about it alot. How she swears she’d be as big as her dad already if she was a boy, and that she’d be the most desirable boy yak in the village. Silver wonders if she’d end up with white feathers like her brother. Smolder jokes about how’d she hate it cause she’d be as dumb as all the other boys.”
“Doesn’t Smolder get mistaken for a boy enough?” Gallus said. Even if she was nowhere near he had to tease Smolder somehow.
“I guess, but I don’t think she takes it in stride the way you do. The look on her face scares me whenever someone calls her a guy.
“But really, I think most creatures wonder at least a little. Just sit there and think ‘what if I was born the other way’. Ask themselves questions like ‘what would it be like’ 'If they’d be different' 'If it's any better' I guess I just get to, well… do it. Whenever.
“Not to brag but… I can turn into a bird or a hippogriff or whatever, but just turning into something as simple as the guy version of myself is… well it's really fun. I don’t know why but I just feel really relaxed.”
“I’ve wondered. Not a lot or anything. But when my mom was having my sister I was like ‘dang, that could have been me’ and that's kinda crazy y’know. I could have been She-bar.”
Gallus scoffed, “They wouldn’t name you that.”
“She-bar!”
Ocellus chuckled. “I think that's a Saddle Arabian name.”
Sandbar tapped his chin. “Now that I think of it. I think you just made me think of my Uncle Sawdust for the first time in years. Waaaay tougher dude than my dad. He had these daughters. When I’d visit they’d play dress up with me and treat me like I was their third sister. It felt kinda weird, but I liked it at the time cause my uncle was super tough on boys. Wanted me to do all this work and heavy lifting and woodsy stuff that just wasn’t me. Whenever I was there I wished I really was a girl so he’d just stop getting on my case.”
Gallus fiddled with his cup.“I used to think about it as a kid sometimes," clinks of his talon tapping against glass filled the space between his sentences, "When I was sitting there in the alleys watching adults walk by I used to think about how pretty girls were. It was better than everything else I had to think about anyway. And I just thought it’d be nice to be that pretty. Most men in Griffonstone don’t give 2 bits about their appearance unless they’re already rich so I just thought that boys couldn’t be pretty for a while. You’d think half starving kid would have better things to worry about, but I just really wanted what girls had.”
“Do you still want it?” Ocellus asked.
There was a pause. A pause long enough for Ocellus to start thinking. He held on to his drink and crossed his hindlegs to resist the urge to tap. He could have sworn he heard a shocked hic come from Gallus' throat. It was only a few moments, seconds even, but each second where Gallus of all people doesn’t have a snappy response feels like a year.
This isn’t the feeling’s forum Ocellus, what are you doing! Think before you speak!
Ocellus’ shaking lips burst open. “I’m sorry I jus—”
“I think I managed to steal it on my own—” Gallus’s smirk and fingergun fell limp as he realised what he just spoke over. “What?”
“Hm! Nothing!” There was another short pocket of silence before Ocellus muttered, “ I uh just wanted to fill the dead air.”
“Oh that's it? Sorry, my drink just went down the wrong pipe a little.” Gallus let out a chuckle, one less confident than all that came before it. “ but yeah I uh, feel fine about it I guess. Childhood stuff ya know. Besides, I've got pretty good at fixing myself up.”
“…yeah.”
The conversation had hit a wall, a barbed and electrified wall. Gallus nodded to the music, Ocelles stole glances of creatures on the dance floor. Ice cubes clacked against the Ocelles' glass.
"Hey…" Sandbar stared ahead straight at the wall of drinks he hardly knew how to pronounce. His blue friends' attention went to him and the empty stare they were all too familiar with before a question. “What's up with all these different types of drinks anyway? Like isn’t just an alcohol enough?”
Ocellus and Gallus’ posture shot up in a second. Ocellus went on about rums and vodkas and the unique qualities found in liquors all over Equestria, while Gallus told stories about the sweet tongue tingling flavors of margaritas, daiquiris and all sorts of cocktails.
Gallus finished his drink “As much as I love talking about weird stuff, we could have done that back at the hotel room. I got some bits and this place got a pool table.”
“I dunno dude, my cousin got into gambling and he’s never been the same.”
“You don’t have to bet, Sandbar.” Ocellus said, patting Sandbar’s back.
“It’d make you a wimp though.”
Ocellus sighed “I’ll play if you leave our sweet little pony alone for a bit. He's too delicate for the evils of the night.”
As they set off for the pool table, Sandbar mumbled something about actually having a job.
The path to the pool tables was not an easy one with the horde of creatures they had to trudge through. Ocellus still wasn’t used to so many unorganized creatures in such a small space. The school was selective on new students and may have been populated but never crowded. Even for all the changelings in the hive, everyone always navigated so smoothly it barely felt like there were that many of them. This dang club however? A mouse couldn’t get through here without bumping into someone and Ocellus had half a mind to test that theory if he wasn’t nearly certain he’d be crushed.
He may have had an easier time if he wasn’t so fixated on a certain tail. Gallus' body moved through the crowd as fluidly as water follows the cracks in the ground. It was hard for his eyes not to follow every sinuous curve Gallus’ tail made. He didn’t know he could be so distracted.
Ocellus squeezed himself through one last pair of butts before popping out on the other side of the sea of dancers. Flickering above, a sign reading The Pool hung over Ocellus’ head. He didn’t find the name remotely clever.
The Pool was tiled and sunken into the floor like its namesake. The three pool tables that filled it each had a sexy glossy black finish with a neon trim.
Ocellus looked across The Pool, seeing pairs of creatures lounging or playing. “So what's the procedure here exactly? Do we just wait near a table till another duo shows up?”
“And end up getting someone who isn’t willing to spill some bits?” Gallus scoffed, “As if, waste of time. Just chill by this table here. I’ll find us some worthwhile competition.”
Ocellus raised a brow. “You mean you’re looking for someone that's cocky but sucks.”
“Yeah that's kinda the bag.” Gallus beat a fist into Ocellus’ side before strutting off to slide his way between the couples and buddies hanging around. He made it look effortless; two creatures could be neck deep in conversation and all he had to do was slither next to them and give the right look with those eyelashes of his. Whatever secret classes friendship school was giving him was on par with the lessons of Chrysalis’ best infiltrators, maybe better.
“So like—“ Sandbar stopped to tug his tail free from the crowd he just narrowly got out of. “Are you two gonna stare at each other’s butts all day? Because we could go back to the hotel to do that. Where I could be doing my assignment.”
“I’m not staring!”
“Ocellus, I am looking at the back of your head. You're staring.”
Ocellus turned to Sandbar with his face puffed and green with intense blush. “Okay fine, he has the cutest butt on the planet. We all know. The world knows. Let me admire. You don’t call out Yona for it!” Ocellus huffed, before turning away. Only to turn right back. “Wait, has he really been looking back at me that much?”
“The literal second you turned away,” Sandbar said flatly as the tile they stood on. “Can we do some whisper talk for a minute.” Their heads leaned together. “Listen, there's no way to say this nicely”
“But you're going to say it anyway.”
“As a friend I have to.” Sandbar’s lips squirmed as his eyes darted over the floor hoping to find the right way to say what was on his mind just laying around. “Is this whole TF thing just to get Gallus’ attention?”
Ocellus’ face contorted in ways he only thought were possible with shapeshifting “Did you just say TF?”
“I can learn your freaky kink lingo. The five of you think I don’t know what a Six-Nine is.”
“That’s not….”
“Did you become a guy to get with Gallus or not?”
“Gah! No. I wouldn’t even have to. I’m pretty sure everyone alive knows Gallus is bi.”
“And we both know he has a preference. I’m just saying if that's the plan, it’s hella working, but it's kinda messed up ya know.”
“It’s messed up to make yourself more attractive to someone? Which by the way, isn’t what I’m doing.”
“I mean if it was just your appearance nah, but to say you’re going full guy and everything. Does gender even mean anything to a shapeshifter?”
“Sandbar.” Ocellus borrowed his father’s tone.
“Yes?” Said sandbar in a child’s tone.
Ocellus planted his hoof on Sandbar’s head and made certain they were looking directly into each other's eyes. “If gender didn’t mean anything to me, why would I have been a girl for as long as you’ve known me? Why would the changelings have had a queen Sandbar?”
“Uh.”
“Have you ever met a non-gendered changeling, Sandbar?”
“Two,” Sandbar said, raising both his hooves.
“And how many changelings total have you met, Sandbar?”
“Like, ten.”
“Exact— wait, just ten?” Ocellus stopped, his grip loosened as he muttered things over with himself. “Okay I admit that’s a pretty small sample size. I could have sworn I brought you to the hive more- but you get the point. Besides, anyone can play with gender. I just have an advantage.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Sure!” Ocellus finally let Sandbar’s scalp go. His face turned to excitement. “Gender is meant to be played with as much as orientation is meant to be experimented with.”
Sandbar took a step back, for his own safety. “I don’t like the way you look at me when you say that, but I guess I get it.”
Ocellus pat his clueless friend on the back. “Glad to hear it, and if we ever have to have this conversation again I’m making you sit in the Feelings Forum for ten hours. Now make up for it by going back and bringing me another drink.”
Ocellus forced his card into Sandbar’s hooves, and with a grumble that expressed both his annoyance and embarrassment, he shuffled off to do as told. With nothing to do but wait, Ocellus decided to watch Gallus. The music was loud, and the party goers made a constant white noise for chatter, but growing up in Chrysalis’ hive meant being forced to learn some particular skills. As a professional infiltrator with the right focus Ocellus could listen in on Gallus. It was hard but doable and a skill he’d never let any of his friends know about.
Most of the pairs he approached were too busy on their date to potentially sour their evening losing bits. Where he failed to find a match, he never failed to get attention. The creatures he’d talk to would curl their tails and flirt, and almost every time assume he’s a girl at first. It was routine, really, but by the second attempt, Ocellus noticed something. Whenever it would happen. Whenever someone would call Gallus “Hen” his smile got just a bit bigger, or his tail might do an excited flick, his ears would perk up. Just an interesting little quirk that Ocellus checked off in their mental To Use file.
After chatting up about a dozen pairs, Gallus found some creatures who fit the bill, full of unwarranted confidence, competitive energy, and bits ready to be separated from their owner. Trailing behind Ocellus’ little game maker was a stunning blue hippogriff mare and her donkey friend each sporting the grins of someone who thinks they already made twenty bits.
“Cel, I brought you some suitable competition.” He gestured a wing to his left and his right, presenting his catch. To the right, the hippogriff, “This is Vapor Draft.” To the left, the donkey, “And Janette.”
The pair of well fashioned girls looked over Ocellus like a pair of queens judging the peasant before them. A look Ocellus still wished he wasn’t so familiar with. Janette spoke up “This scrawny guy is your partner? This is what we’re up against? So scary!”
“Yeah,” Vapor covered her laugh with her wings, an act that somehow made her snicker all the more demeaning. “I didn’t realise we were playing against the twink team. Don’t you two have a daddy to play pool for you?”
“My drill sergeant called me agile,” Ocellus mumbled.
“Get your laughs in while you can, you’re about to see what it looks like when you bet to survive.” Gallus snatched two pool cues into his talons and tossed one to Ocellus. On instinct, Ocellus caught it as if they’ve done the routine a hundred times. Ocellus feared the cue was just similar enough to a spear that it triggered long unused training. “Look alive Cel! We’ve got two haughty ladies that need to be liberated of their bits.”
“Aye aye sergeant femboy,” Ocellus said, perfectly performing an Equestrian salute.
The hippogriff set up the table. Between her and Gallus it was like they were trying to see who could make a face smug enough to make the other keel over. She leaned deep into the table, her tail swishing. She took the breaking shot and the balls zip zooped over the table. Not a single ball in a pocket.
“Nice start.” Gallus pushed Ocellus forward with his wing, “Go ahead, take the first shot.”
Ocellus took an unsure step toward the table. Trying not to turn all the way back he glanced at Gallus out the corner of his eye. The hippogriff had given him an idea. Careful and calculated, Ocellus sank lower as he lined up his cue. With his back in a full smooth arch, Ocellus started to feel like he was turning himself into a banana.
“Showing off for your boyfriend, little guy?” the donkey said, sending her and her friend into a laughing fit.
“A little,” Ocellus mumbled to himself, despite the embarrassment bubbling up in his belly. Without looking back, he could feel that he was having some effect on Gallus. He took his shot, and the balls clacked against each other like pride and embarrassment bouncing around the table in his head.
Two striped balls went in, but neither Ocellus nor Gallus cared too much at the moment.
“Uh, nice shot. Cel,” Gallus said nervously looking between Ocellus and the two girls snickering on the other side of the table. As he approached for his shot he leaned in close as he whispered, “What in the world are you doing?”
Ocellus smiled. “Just taking the shot.”
Gallus didn’t reply, instead he used his tail to push Ocellus back. Ocellus must have ignited that competitive streak in him cause Gallus took a lean that blew Ocellus’ out of the water. The shot missed the pocket but he certainly didn’t miss his target.
The game continued. Gallus and the stylish pair took their snarky shots at each other, while Ocellus would simply smile politely. All the while, the blue duo had a game of their own with each other's eyes.
Vapor lined up a shot. Only one solid left on the table to Gallus and Ocellus five stripes. “Maybe you two would have won by now if you weren’t more focused on the balls on the table.”
Gallus’ feathers ruffled and a low tiger-like rumble came from his throat before looking toward his partner. “Ocellus, just what are we doing anyway?”
“Oh I don’t really know. I just noticed you’ve been checking me out tonight and some part of my restless brain told me to play along.”
“Oh,” Balls clacked while Gallus’ eyes darted to everything besides Ocellus until he was the only thing left to look at. “You noticed, huh.”
“Jeez, even Sandbar noticed. You usually don’t give me that sort of attention. I only made my body a little more masculine. Am I really that much more attractive?”
“I don’t think there's a safe way for me to answer that.”
“I’m just messing with you, it's fine. But, it's nice to have your attention.”
The sound of loud thumping yanked them from their conversation. Jannette was striking the table with her pool cue, her heavily masquerade glare fixed on Ocellus. “Get over here and take your turn already. I’m trying to take y’alls bits sometime tonight. Unless you just wanna hand it over now.”
Ocellus jumped upright. “Oh right. On it!”
Ocellus’ mind raced as he approached the table to take the shot. Do it like a normal creature this time. Just why the heck was I doing that anyway. (Line up the shot stop worrying). Just cause it was fun, just cause it felt a little nice to get that sort of attention? It's not even like I’m trying to go anywhere with all that teasing or I don’t think I was. (Thirteen, corner pockets I can make that.) Gallus sure was teasing back. Maybe this is the sort of thrill he gets out of doing this all the time? (Stop thinking about two things and take the shot.)
Thirteen rushed straight corner jaws and bounced right out.
“Nice shot, ditz.” Jannet spun her cue in her hooves. And shot a grin that flashed a golden tooth. “I’ll be taking your friend's bits on the next one. Thanks for making this so easy for us.”
Ocellus scuttled his way back to Gallus' side and muttered a small “We kinda threw, huh.” Their eyes tracked the eye ball as it slid into the side pocket like a glove.
“It's whatever. When I gamble to win I play cards. I’m just trying to have a good time, man.” He jabbed Ocellus. Gallus strutted up to the others as if he hadn’t just lost and held out his bits. His palm was empty in the blink of an eye.
Glimmer, sparkles, and the faint aura of victory shimmered off the gold coins being tossed up and down in Vapor’s claw. “Nice playin’ with ya boys. Next time you little guys wanna empty your pockets, you know who to find. Have fun you two.” The two turned away and faded into the sea of club goers.
“Sorry about your bits,” said Ocellus.
“It's whatever." Gallus shrugged with his wings. "I’m just trying to have a good time. Winnings just a bonus.”
Ocellus threw his hooves over Gallus’ back. “It was fun playing with a cute hen.” He could already feel heat rising under Gallus’ ruffling feathers. “Even if we played weird.”
“Hey hey hey.” A shiver ran down Gallus' form, and he squirmed his way out of Ocellus’ hooves. Despite all the red shining beneath his feathers he still kept a shaky grin on his beak. “Why are you calling me a hen? What's up with you tonight?”
“Because I can tell you like it.”
A bat was taken to the system inside Gallus’ head and his eyes went wide. “I-I don’t get it.”
“Listen, maybe no one else thinks much of it, but I’m not blind. When creatures approach you as a girl, you really like it. Your tail swishes, and those little ear thingies of yours twitch. It's cute. Anyway, I just think that maybe you’re holding yourself back a little.”
“It's not all that!” He was backpedaling as the words burst out his beak. Then his tone lowered and his head shrunk into his chin as he muttered. “It just feels a little nice.” Gallus pouted,turning his cheek to Ocellus. “I’m not trans, Cel. I don’t get, like, upset about being a guy or anything.”
Ocellus put his hoof over his chest. “I’ve never been upset about being a girl either. I just wanted to try something different, and I feel great.” His buzzing wings backed up that claim. “I might go back tomorrow, I might not. Maybe I’ll just go guy mode whenever I feel like it. It doesn’t always have to be dead serious. These things aren't all or nothing.”
For a second Gallus glared right through Ocellus before looked down toward his own feet.“You’re a shapeshifter it's easy for yo-”
“No no, I’m not hearing that. Especially not from you, people already think of you as a girl on sight when you want them to. I might be able to change on a whim, but you’ve already got this down. Gallus, I just think you’d really love how it feels. I’m not saying you should just whoop-de-doo-become a girl forever, but I know you can give it a try.”
“I mean yeah, but like. It's different. I just. I’m good at y’know. Makeup and stuff. It's I dunno.” The more he spoke the smaller his words became till there was just a rumble of frustration from deep in his throat. His wings held tight to his side and his forelegs pulled closer to each other. His tail curled in on itself with every thought that went on in his head.
Slow steady, calm steps were the only thing Gallus could hear as Ocellus approached. He leaned in, his snout just above Gallus’ beak. Ocellus' breathing was slow, calm, and confident while gallus’ chest was barely containing itself.
“Are you scared?” Ocellus asked.
“No!” Gallus blurted. “It's not scary! It's just…” He grumbled unable to finish
“Maybe it’ll be easier if we can try it in a context you’re used to.” A wry smile flashed on Ocellus’ face. “We could make it a date. I can be the guy, and you can be the girl”
All the stiffness and panic melted into a laugh that bubbled in Gallus’ throat as his face grew hot. “Yeah, well I mean, you know it doesn’t have to be like that ”
“Of course I know, but it makes it sound exciting doesn’t it?”
On that night, Ocellus learned he could make Gallus sweat.
Author's Note
remember when I said this was a 2 chapter story? I was wrong its three. These things happen.
Please direct all grammar corrections to DMs. Thank you.
