Pinkie's Pregnancy Predicament
The park was one of the best places for merriment in Ponyville.
Of course, that could be said for any local public park really. It’s an open space for anypony, young or old, to have fun and run free and partake in the plastic, concrete, and rubber constructs that let young ones climb, hang, or roll about, if they’re not too busy running their legs off in their youthful vigor. Benches dotted the walking path that weaved its way in and around the park, families and couples and the exercise prone taking their time to apply their own paces to the way. With all the noise and colors of Spring blowing through the area, it was a spot you could always go to when you wanted to stretch your legs or let your mind wander.
Which made it exceptionally strange that for one particular pony, the delightful sight of merry children and happy individuals did nothing to settle the clouds in her mind and the tremble of her stomach.
Pinkie Pie sighed to herself as she looked out upon the park, her eyes wandering from face to face but finding none of the solace she yearned for in that moment. It wasn’t that they couldn’t offer it: two other passerby ponies had checked on her already, recognizing the easily recognizable face of one Element of Harmony and so-called “Party Planner Extraordinaire.” Putting on a believable enough face to ward off their concerns was easy enough for Pinkie, only to settle once again in uncomfortable turmoil as soon as they were gone.
“What am I gonna do?” she muttered to herself, “You’d think the whole ‘magic of friendship’ me and the girls have would bump itself in by now.”
A brief glance to the blue, cloud-dotted sky above gave no reply to satisfy her. The only magic on display was the commonplace magic of pegasi flying above, occasionally bumping a cloud along or bringing a new one into view. The ponies flew away after a moment, leaving Pinkie to observe the single, lonely cloud that sat by itself apart from the others. A hoof quietly came to rest on her barrel, gently rubbing along the pink fur and making Pinkie’s turmoil grow instead of comforting herself like it should.
“What do you do when you’ve got nothing for answers?” She asked aloud.
“Maybe go looking for some?”
The unexpected reply made Pinkie twitch in her seat, looking about before finding the voice’s owner. The blonde maned pegasi had settled on a bench next to her, a small and grey-ish violet filly already taking off for the nearby sandbox to play around in. Pinkie spared the child a glance before returning her focus to the mare who’d answered her.
“I-I’m sorry, Derpy?” She replied, “What did you say?”
“Well, you said you got nothing for answers. If I had nothing, I’d go and try to find something.” The mailmare said.
Pinkie exhaled and slouched in her seat, bringing a hoof up to her cheek.
“That’s been my entire day today. From this morning until I got here. It’s not even that complicated!” Pinkie exclaimed before adding, “well, at least it shouldn’t be. To me.”
“Party planning problem?” Derpy questioned.
“Celestia, I wish it was,” Pinkie answered, “I could actually solve that pretty well. Remember last week’s criss-crossing cute-ceañeras? I managed to make those two not only celebrate their kids, but made two long-lost families reconnect! Through the power of chocolate fondue and one misplaced ladle!”
Derpy nodded. “It was in the papers. You and Cheese Sandwich pulled it off perfectly.” She took a look about the park before fixing one eye on Pinkie, as was her way with the wandering other looking elsewhere. “Is he not here with you?”
“Not today. He’s been gone the past couple of days out to Manehattan. There’s a triplet birthday celebration for a rich family, and they want to give them a comedy show. Cheese was highly recommended. Hard to not know the guy who made the Royal Sisters laugh with a rubber duck, a firework, and creative use of paper mache.”
She didn’t elaborate further, but from the impressed nod Derpy gave, Pinkie felt the recognition was enough.
“Is him being gone why you’re looking so sad?”
The question made Pinkie lurch a little before trying to righten herself back up. A practiced smile came onto her muzzle, followed by a laugh passerby ponies would hear but let fade in the background of their focus.
“Me? Sad? No, gosh, that’s just silly! I’m Pinkie Pie, I don’t do sad!” She insisted. “Sure, I always miss Cheese when he’s gone, but he comes back!”
“Pinkie.”
She wasn’t the slightest bit accusatory. In fact, Derpy’s voice was downright soft, giving the tone of a patient listener who was putting just the lightest touch of pressure for the truth from the other. The kind of sound that your mother would make when she saw a bite gone from the pie in the windowsill, and the family dog definitely didn’t sneak a nibble.
“H-he’s just...uh...I’m…” Pinkie floundered for some kind of distracting excuse, to derail Derpy from poking into her business.
“It’s ok to miss him, you know. It’s good in a way.”
“Huh?”
“It means you love him. He’s gotta be a good husband if he makes you feel like that. Then when he comes home, you light up like Celestia’s sun’s coming up right behind you. I’m sure you do the same for him when you’re off on an adventure or -”
“I’m pregnant with our first foal.”
It just slipped from Pinkie’s lips, making the party planner suddenly clench her jaw shut and look up in surprise at Derpy, even though it was her voice that had said it. Derpy blinked both eyes and tilted her head. Which was unusual, Pinkie realized. Most ponies react right away with “congratulations!” or “when are they due?” or a hundred other mundane and far away questions right there and then.
“That’s...definitely a surprise. Does he know? I mean, he would probably know, since, well -”
“It’s his. His and his only.”
Derpy nodded, and Pinkie deflated into her bench seat.
“I should be excited. Delighted. Fantastically thrilled with chills and smiles. And I was, when I first found out. You couldn’t stop me from bouncing around the bathroom! Well, right up until I felt sick again and threw up. The bouncing probably didn’t help. I wanted to write to Cheese and tell him straight away, but I chose not to because by the time it’d get there, he’d be on his way home I think. So I waited. And then I realized something.”
Pinkie turned to the listening pegasus, the sounds of children playing in the distance like a far off haunt of her imagination, and she couldn’t help but to flick her ears down in an attempt to muffle it.
“Derpy, I don’t know a single thing about raising a kid. Not at all.”
“It’s not exactly something we covered in school, past the whole biology lesson in separated classrooms.” Derpy offered. “But that doesn’t mean you’re gonna be a bad mom or anything.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Then what is it? I mean, we’ve all seen you around town with the Cake twins. They’re a hoofful and a half. But you always smile with them and you handle them so well.”
“...I’m scared. Of messing up.” Pinkie admitted, bringing her hooves up to her head. “I’ve made bad decisions in the past, Derpy. And me and my friends have made them all work out in the end, after all the apologies are made and the mess cleaned up. But this is one thing I can’t mess up. I have to get it right, every step and every turn. I’ve gone to everypony I can think of for help looking to the future, but nothing seems to help!”
“Who did you talk to?”
“Well, first I tried Zecora.”
“Hmm…”
That sound was one of the only sounds in Zecora’s hut amidst the residual sound of the boiling cauldron that rested in the middle of the zebra’s otherwise spacious home. Pinkie was seated on one side of the cauldron, waiting in her chair while Zecora peered into her mystical waters. It had been fifteen minutes now since the zebra had heard Pinkie’s request for help, and obliged her by attempting to scry the future in the waters of her cauldron.
“Well, now. This issue of the future seems to give you great vex. But Pinkie Pie, I will try to not be complex.” Zecora said, making Pinkie lean forward in her seat.
“So you can see something? Is it good? Bad? Really good? Am I balding? Did I lose my teeth? Is my foal ok?”
Zecora waved a hoof at Pinkie’s frantic questioning, getting the earth pony to relent her questioning for the moment.
“What I can see, my dear Pie, are only a few things. This is no lie.” Zecora told her. “The future is always changing, always flowing. There is no way to say for sure where it will be going.”
Pinkie’s mane deflated a little as she slumped her shoulders. “That’s encouraging…”
“Now, brighten up, Pinkie! There’s no need to let your mood be stinky. One definite thing I can see, this I know with clarity.”
“Yeah?!” Pinkie shot up from her seat and peered at the cauldron, her movement making the waters shift as Pinkie jostled the metal container. She didn’t care if her fur got splashed with whatever went into the concoction of Zecora’s if it meant showing her the right path.
“Your enthusiasm will persist, as will your smile, so long as you get through your future trial.”
“That sounds like it came out of a Neighpon Fortune Cookie.” Derpy joked with a giggle. It didn’t elicit much of a laugh out of Pinkie so much as a huff of frustration.
“Yeah, well. It wasn’t what I was hoping for. Twilight’s gone to Zecora several times and gotten good ideas from her. Seems like for Pinkie, it’s not the same.”
Derpy didn’t disagree with the thought, only looking out to the playground where Dinky was running about.
“I guess we all get different kinds of fortune telling. Mine usually says to just buy more cookies.”
“From there, I tried to go and talk to Mrs. Cake. I mean, who better to know in my life about being a mom than the literal mom I’ve been working with for so many years?”
“That’s...actually a great point.” Derpy replied. “She was who I was gonna recommend.”
“About that…”
“She’s out today? Where did she go?”
The apprehensive look on Mr. Cake’s face was fitting, given he had to deal with Pinkie Pie busting into Sugarcube Corner and almost knocking over two displays he’d only just finished getting right. Not that she knew, or had much purpose to care; there was a more pressing matter at hoof that Mrs. Cake was just the mare to see about.
“She’s gone to visit family out of town. She took Pound Cake with her, while I’m minding the store here and keeping an eye on Pumpkin.”
Pinkie Pie’s nervous grin faltered into a look of stress, one that Mr. Cake caught onto fairly quickly. In the stallion’s defense, working alongside the party pony had taught him to watch for many things when it came to her. He knew how to tell when she was scared of something.
“Pinkie? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! Well. Nothing yet. Nothing that exists yet, haha! Isn’t that silly, scared of something that doesn’t exist yet?” Pinkie responded.
Mr. Cake squinted at her, and Pinkie froze up. Even her twitching tail and hind leg that had been tapping for a couple minutes stopped.
“Something’s different about you.”
“What? Me? No, no, that’s just...such a funny joke! Haha!”
Mr. Cake frowned. “Pinkie. Don’t you trust me enough to tell me?”
Pinkie’s willpower wilted and she glanced over her shoulder. No one else had walked in yet after Pinkie had come in. Maybe she could ask him for help? He’s been there for Mrs. Cake through thick and thin. A husband can know as much as a wife, surely?
“It um...y-you see…”
The words began to come through Pinkie’s lips, right as the doorbell chimed when it opened to permit in another customer. The interruption jolted Pinkie’s body to move.
“Bun! In the oven, I’ll get it!” She exclaimed before jumping over the counter in what can only be Pinkie’s style as Mr. Cake just stood there in slow comprehension of the feat. When he came back to find Pinkie, he saw the mare staring intently at a mound of dough that was in the oven, hardly shaped like a bun or any form of creative confection, if one was honest.
“See? Bun. In the oven. I sensed it.”
“Pinkie.”
“Now, now, don’t worry! I’ll keep things going smooth back here and you can help the customers out there! It’ll be easy peasy lemon squeezy! Though I don’t think anypony wants a lemon squeezed in their bread. Is that how you get lemon bread? I always thought -”
Mr. Cake’s hoof came to rest on her shoulder. The gesture got Pinkie to clam up, and she clenched her jaw as the lanky stallion spoke again.
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
“I mean, he would know best. He’s a husband and father. That’s fairly experienced.” Derpy pointed out. “Did he help you with what you were trying to figure out?”
“No...the moment I tried to answer him, the front door kept ringing. It was lunchtime. I ran out the back door and kept running, until I got...here. The park’s somewhere more open.” Pinkie replied. “Less ponies to worry about.”
“Pinkie?”
The curly-maned pony looked to Derpy, who watched her with one eye focused on the earth pony while the other took a glance upwards. Yet in a way, Pinkie felt more observed by that one singular eye than a proper pair from anypony else.
“Why is your pregnancy scaring you?”
“Because...b-because…” Pinkie reached for the words, but the admission felt slippery in her proverbial grasp. Shame made it hard to hold onto, let alone speak. But was she really going to say she feared judgment, from Derpy of all the ponies she knew?
“...I’m scared of doing it all wrong. And making a mess,” Pinkie finally said, “and not the kind of mess that you fix with a mop bucket and some laughs. The kind of mess that never goes away. The mess you can’t plan for. And I’m the best kind of planner!”
Derpy could’ve meant to speak, but the opportunity was washed away in the surging deluge that poured out of Pinkie.
“I can plan everything: birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, adult parties, kid parties, and do them all back to back! I can handle them! But a child...my child. I can’t get that wrong! I have to get it right! Exactly right! If I slip up, if I make everything worse...I-I don’t know what I’d do! This kind of change is just...I don’t know what to do!”
Pinkie was left panting a little, getting her breath back with a few slow and shaky gulps of air. A cursory glance about the park showed a couple other ponies glancing in her direction due to her volume, but otherwise giving her her fair space. Far be it from Ponyville to judge a mare or stallion for loud sudden exclamations. It happened almost every other day.
“Change is a scary thing sometimes, isn’t it?” Derpy asked.
Pinkie looked up from her lap to the pegasus, who had her stare focused mostly on the park playground in front of them.
“It sneaks up on us when we least expect it. You think to yourself you’ve got everything figured out, and then wham,” Derpy smacked a forehoof into the wood of the bench she sat on, “out of nowhere, your whole plan’s off course. Like a mail route cut off by a thunderstorm.”
“Or a party that’s suddenly missing it’s cake tray because you left it at the bakery.”
“Mmhmm. Or parasprites come up from the forest and chow down on everything in their path.”
“Or having your first kid.”
The last one made Pinkie tense up a little, since those words came from her own muzzle and not Derpy’s.
“You’ve got it right.”
She exhaled slowly, then looked at the calm smile on Derpy’s face. She wished she felt as serene as she did right then. The few times Pinkie and Derpy carried on extensive conversations, it’d be at Sugarcube Corner or about deliveries to Pinkie that Derpy brought. Never ever had a conversation turned this personal.
“Was it...was it like that for you?” Pinkie asked.
“With Dinky?”
“Yeah.”
Derpy took a moment to think, leaving Pinkie to watch as she kept her eyes on her daughter. The little filly had found some entertainment in playing tag with some of the other local children, running about the park area but still in clear view of everypony.
“Dinky wasn’t planned. In several ways. Actually, of all the curveballs I could’ve prepped for, Dinky was the one to really knock me off my hooves. And that’s saying something coming from me. At the time, I had a coltfriend, a steady job, and an apartment. I was going to aim for a promotion, move into a better home, and maybe even add somepony else’s name to mine if the cards went down right.”
“And did they?”
“You could basically say the deck of cards caught on fire.” Derpy replied, smiling at Pinkie.
“O-oh. I’m sorry.”
“No need to say sorry. That fire brought Dinky into my life,” The smile stayed on her muzzle as she continued, “so even if the job didn’t pan out, the apartment became more homely, and what was gonna be three ponies turned into two, I was still there. Still standing on my four shaky hooves.”
Pinkie looked back out at the park and let this information sink in for a few moments. The sounds of the laughing children nearby carried over to them, on a gentle breeze of wind that made Pinkie’s mane shift slightly.
“Is it ok to ask what happened?”
“You can scare a stallion with a lot of things. A positive pregnancy test makes a lot of them run for the hills real quick. And I’ll admit, when he did, I was not exactly a happy pony to go home into that apartment alone.” Derpy said. “You could say that my plan was completely topsy-turvy.”
“How did you deal with it? All those plans. The hopes.”
“She’s worth it.”
Pinkie looked out at the park. “Dinky?”
“I would go through a hundred break-ups if it meant keeping my daughter in my life.”
It was the way she said it that told Pinkie she meant it. It was the same kind of tone that bore the same unyielding will she saw Celestia and Luna show on occasion, and now Twilight when they faced down their enemies. There was no doubt, no self-questioning. All the confidence that Pinkie desperately wished she could feel in that moment.
“I don’t know if I could ever be that way. Ponies know me as the mare who just always has a smile, always laughing and being goofy. And sometimes, it’s so easy to keep it limited to that, you know? Why make them worry? Why tell others ‘I’m actually not doing good today’ when I know what they’re expecting of me?” Pinkie brought a hoof to her barrel, and held it there. “How are they going to handle a me who can barely keep it together because now she’s got zero plans for handling a kid?”
The sound that came from Derpy made Pinkie lift her head up and stare at the pegasus. She was laughing. It was quiet, muffled into her hoof, but the shake of her shoulders was unmistakable. She swept her blonde mane out of her eyes and looked back at Pinkie.
“You honestly think anypony has an actual solid plan for their kids when they’re born?”
“Well, I mean. Twilight might? It’s kinda her thing. And she’s the Princess of Equestria now.”
“And how many times have you seen Twilight’s plans fall apart or change in the blink of an eye?”
Pinkie’s shoulders sagged a little. “Um...well, probably at least a few times?”
“Pinkie, from one mother to another soon to be, let me tell you a secret.”
Pinkie’s ears lifted and her eyes widened. Finally, finally! The universe was going to give her the exact hope she needed! Now she could align everything the right way, make her path solid, give her to-be child every proper party and celebration and make every moment perfect and -
“You’re going to get things wrong. A lot.”
One could almost hear the metallic clang as metaphorical reality slammed through Pinkie’s imagination, scattering the shattered happy images to the floor. Pinkie’s ears drooped and she frowned.
“What? But how? I haven’t even started!”
“And it’s good that you hear this now, instead of down the line when so many mistakes will happen and you’d tear your mane out trying to fix it.”
Pinkie ducked her head and brought her hind legs up to rest her forehead on it, curling up into a semi-ball that let her close out the park for a moment. There was quiet for a few seconds, and then she felt a hoof rest on her shoulder.
“Pinkie, just because something goes wrong doesn’t mean you fail. Change doesn’t care about wrong or right. Change like this comes whether we’re ready with a hundred plans or if we’re barely standing with one plan.”
The party planner lifted her head up to see Derpy had moved to join her on her bench, and still had her hoof on her shoulder. Her vision blurred, and Pinkie rubbed at her eyes to wipe away the tears before they threatened to fall.
“I just...I just don’t want to screw up. I’ve done it so many times. Appleoosa. Yakyakistan. Here, in Ponyville, with my own friends! Can’t I just do something right the very first time?”
“Life isn’t about doing it right the very first time. It’s about doing it right when the time is right.”
Pinkie shook her head. “I don’t understand you.”
“Pinkie, for a pony with so many friends and having gone on so many adventures, has any plan gone right from the moment you started to the end when it’s all said and done?” Derpy questioned. “I’m pretty sure the answer’s a no.”
“I guess…”
“It’s the same with life. With family, with work, with relationships, with everything,” Derpy said, rubbing her back with her hoof, “when our world changes, a lot of the time, our plans fall apart and change too. One minute, you’re just going to go to the market to get some fresh vegetables for dinner. The next, you’re fleeing town to avoid a monster-sized centaur who wants to devour all magic. And when the dust settles, you realize you never did get those vegetables. So you end up ordering a pizza instead.”
“But that’s not your fault! It’s Tirek’s fault!”
“Not the point.” Derpy cut her off before continuing, still gentle in tone but Pinkie felt a sense of patience in the explanation coming from the mailmare. “The point is you still got food for your family. You adapted to the change, even if your plan was completely different. Even from things outside your control. Your kid didn’t get the healthy meal you insist they need to eat every day, but they still got to eat, didn’t they?”
“So what does that mean for me? I work in a bakery, food’s not hard to come by, y’know.”
“Pinkie.” Derpy took hold of the party planner’s hoof and held onto it. Pinkie couldn’t help but to squeeze her hoof back, the gesture helping her keep her calm as best she could. “The point I’m trying to tell you, is that you don’t need to worry about your plans, your hopes, all that going off course. Because what matters is what’s right there in front of you. Or more specifically, who.”
Pinkie spared a glance out to the playground. Dinky had taken to building a great sandcastle with some of the other kids. She had to have been working at it for awhile, from how it stood a bit taller than she did. And suddenly, as she watched, it tumbled down when one of the colts bumped into it with his rear end. She waited for Dinky to pout, or throw a fit, or anything. But the child only laughed, poking fun at the colt’s thoroughly sandy butt before moving on.
“I do my best for Dinky when I can. I do my best, because I want to give her my best. She deserves it. If I’m doing that, and can still make a house feel like a home, and Dinky to feel like she has a mother who loves her, am I really planning or doing something wrong even when everything goes astray?”
“I guess not?”
Derpy nodded. “When life changes, we all think we’re a big enough pony to ride out the change and stay in control. A lot of the time though, ponies come to realize that life’s about just riding the change, not controlling it. I don’t think I’d want that kind of stress. I’m happier living my life with my daughter and taking what comes our way, however it comes. Because in the end, I love my Dinky, and I always will.” Derpy’s other forehoof came up and patted Pinkie’s.
“You’re going to be a great mother. A mother with so much love for her kids that they won’t doubt for a second that you care about them. Your life is going to change, and in many ways. Some you can learn about and be ready for. Others you’ll have to face when they come along. But a good mother - the best mother - is the one who doesn’t get caught up in trying to be perfect. They’re perfect already for their kid.”
Pinkie nodded, and felt herself become more at ease. The burden of her emotions that had been nestled into her shoulders felt lighter now, more manageable than before. “T-thank you, Derpy. You’re...you’re a good mom.”
“Just working with what I can.” Derpy replied, smiling at her. “And you’re gonna be a great mom. I can tell.”
“You think so?”
“A mare who cares this much about getting things right for her kid is a mom with a lot of love to give. You just gotta focus on that love a little more.” Derpy assured her. “Trust me.”
“I do.” Pinkie said. “I uh...I feel kinda silly now. Running around town, being in such a panic.”
“You feel silly? You should’ve seen me trying to deliver mail while carrying Dinky. I was a registered flight hazard for delivery ponies!” Derpy said with a laugh, bringing one out from Pinkie as well.
“Derpy?”
“Yes, Pinkie?”
“If I...get stuck on something, or need help with something, or just want to talk. Is it ok if I stop by?”
“Sure. Just bring one of those pies from Sugarcube Corner with you when you do. Dinky’s sweet tooth is never-ending.”
Pinkie nodded, and the pair of them remained there to watch as Dinky and the other children played. All the while, Pinkie kept a hoof on her barrel, imagining the foal that would one day be there, and maybe even run around this same park. She had no idea what might come down the road for her and Cheese Sandwich, but what Derpy had said was a truth she needed to hear. No matter what change comes her way, she could handle it. She didn’t need a well thought out plan. She just needed to keep being Pinkie Pie.
And that’s a good enough plan for anypony.
Author's Note
Change comes into our lives one way or another. How you handle it is a path you must discover yourself. But sometimes, it's good to have a friend who can help you find the way.
Thank you for taking the time to read this story. I hope you enjoyed it, and if so, feel free to leave a comment or critique. See you next time!
