Personal Small Horse

by RambleGaze

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 6653

An equestrian adventure without Equestria.

Gordon is having a bad day, to say the very least. He was late to his afternoon meeting, he's getting mocked by his co-workers, and his boss is giving him the riskiest case of the decade. Then he turned into a 3 foot horse with wings. Now he has to team up with two other miniature equines to find somewhere to live- well, not normally, but as normally as they can.

the bases for the cover are (from left to right) ms-paint-base, amelia-bases, and bronybase.

Published 2021-07-28 08:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-04-05 00:11:28 UTC

1. Justice has wings

Have you ever seen, heard or felt something that makes you wonder? Maybe you recall an event and don’t know if it were a memory or a dream. Maybe you caught sight of a structure, some great tower perhaps, and only a moment later, you find it gone without a trace. Maybe you took a walk, in that moment between sunrise and dawn, and basked in that feeling of unreality. Unreality. That’s the word I was looking for. Call me an idiot, but I think moments like that show how… perception based reality can be. If something impossible happens, but everybody sees it, is it still impossible? Have they lost touch with reality, or has reality lost touch with them? What place do sentient beings have when the multiversal nexus shifts around them?

Gordon Niccals stepped out of the elevator and rapidly made his way down the hall. This was a big case, bigger than any he’d done before. One of the biggest scandals of the year, and the trajectory it went was in his hands. Winning a case like this meant massive publicity, and richer clients. Had he been the type for sympathy, he might have stopped to think about whether or not the defending team deserved the extraordinary and substantial punishment he would bring to them, but alas, he was a lawyer, and he had arrived at the meeting room.

“Mr Dives, Sorry I'm la-" he was about to come up with an excuse, but he had noticed that he wasn't the only lawyer in the room. A team, he surmised as he took his seat. Some of the best attorneys New York could offer. Gordon hated a team. Less credit for him, and he had to deal with the most self-important jocks in the business. All he could hope for now was that Ross wasn't-
"You should learn how to manage your time better Gord, maybe then you could contribute to a group case!"
goddamnit there he was. Henderson Ross, the tyrant lawyer king, and the worst person Gordon had ever met.
"Gentlemen, enough." The lights went out. Mr Dives, the man who had called this meeting, Stood up and began the presentation. A screen behind him lit up with a company logo, three words in the shape of a pill. "Some of you may not know me. This is because I prefer to remain out of the public eye. However, since it is necessary for this moment, I am Lawrence Dives, co-founder and CEO of Dives Magno Improbus, the most profitable pharmaceutical company in the United States. But this quarter, we gained eight hundred, eighty eight thousand, two hundred and twelve dollars LESS than our projection. This man is why.” The screen changed, showing a picture of a man with wild, upturned hair. “Dr Isaac Kressler. Thinks himself some sort of mad scientist. This manic stole almost $90,0000 of MY equipment, working on something he called a “Genetic Rewriter”. Gentlemen, I want you to ruin this man. Think you can do it, hmmm… Niccals?” Damn. of course he’d pick Gordon. The punishment for being late, he supposed. “Yes, of course sir.” He stood up, taking a quick second to glare at Ross. “This case is of the utmost importance to me. I promise you sir, nothing, nothing at all will stop me from bringing Kressler to justice.”

And that’s exactly when it started.

Suddenly Gordon was burning up. His hands started to shake, and he felt sick to his stomach. He tried to maintain his composure, but fell to the table. The other lawyers crowded round, each saying something, but Gordon couldn’t hear. In an instant his body temperature dropped, he broke out in a cold sweat, his upper back flared in pain, every inch of his body hyper aware of each discomfort. He may have screamed. He couldn't hear anything. He had to get out of there. Struggling to his feet, he weakly burst out of the room and ran to a nearby drinking fountain. As he struggled to activate the water, he was terrified to feel his hands tingle, and then go numb, and that feeling and subsequent non-feeling spreading down his arms. Not caring where he went next, he rushed through the nearest door, until the numbness reached his legs and he collapsed. With no more options left, he shut his eyes tight, and waited. After what felt like an eternity, the sensation of touch returned. He felt warm.

"Gord! Gordo! C'mon, is this about the time management crack?" To Henderson, this felt like a waste of time. But apparently Mr Dives liked Niccals enough to not fire him when he started screaming and running around like some... wild man. Liked him enough to send the rest of the lawyers to check on him. Lucky son of a-

*SLAM*

Every thought in Ross' mind stopped as the door next to the drinking fountain burst off its hinges, and, running on four shaky legs, came... a miniature horse? Why would security let an animal into the building? And such a weird looking one too. Henderson wasn't a vet, but he knew well enough that while a light gray coat was natural for a horse, a blue mane wasn't. And, as he watched the beast panting, he noticed what looked like feathers on its side. Like a wing. Maybe somebody's kid was having a Hercules themed birthday party or something.

The horse turned its head. Its too-big eyes got even wider as it saw Ross. He continued to stare as it ran towards him, reared up on its hind legs, balanced its front hooves on the wall next to the man, and...

"Ross!" The beast spoke. "I need you to call a doctor!"
"AHHHH HOLY HELL!" Ross screamed.
"I know!" the horse replied. "I'm freaking out too! But you gotta help me Ross! It's me, Wind Rusher! wait no, Wind Rusher! Darnit why can't I say Wind Rusher!"
At this point Henderson had run off. With no creature to talk to, the thing that could only call himself Wind Rush began a panicked external monologue. "Okay Wind, let's take stock. you are... not... like you used to be. but that's... fine?" He removed his hooves from the wall and resumed his four legged position. "You're in the DMI building. Your heart is beating- pretty fast, but I don't think it's heart-attack bad. Your feet-" He craned his neck to look behind him. "-Are on the floor. And they're not feet. All four of your not feet are on the floor. And that might be freaky, but you're calm. You're collected. And you have no reason to scream."
"There it is! that's it right there!" yelled Ross, who had returned to the hallway. And had brought security guards with him. Wind Rusher screamed.

As Wind Rusher ran up the stairwell, his mind spun with a swarm of observations. How quickly he learned to run in this new body. How greatly his hearing had improved, clearly understanding the guards' conversation several levels below him ("no, not like a foal! it's just a tiny, fully grown one!") How despite running for longer than he ever had at one time, he didn't feel fatigued. But above all else, one thing kept resurfacing: Why did I run upstairs? He was making distance between himself and his pursuers, certainly, but he was running to a dead end. As soon as Wind reached the roof, it would be over.

And here he was. Taking care not to break the door this time, Wind Rusher stepped outside onto the flat concrete. Oddly, he mused, looking up to the evening sky seemed to have a calming effect, almost enough to stop him panicking. He had to stop staring when the door opened again, and the entire security team bore down on him.

Backing up, Wind did what he did best with a problem: trying to talk his way out of it. "Listen, I'll pay to get the door fixed, alright? The last few minutes have been hectic, but I'm not a fault here! I'm a victim of circumstance!"
"Damn, it really can talk." One of the guards remarked to another, all still advancing. "You think it's an alien or something?" "Who cares? let's just bag it and hand it off to animal control." Another responded. Wind felt his tail smush against the barrier at the edge of the roof. Having nothing else he could do, he jumped up and balanced himself precariously on the railing. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here! I can understand, think and feel! In fact, despite my current inhumanity, I would argue my sentience reserves me the same basic rights as-" A guard swiped at one of his legs. Wind jumped back, and fell off the building.

For a moment he fell. For a moment he screamed. Then he stopped falling, but continued screaming. Then he started falling again, only this time, very very slowly. After he realized the abnormality of his fall speed, he looked to his back and noticed his wings. He had wings! Incredible wings that sprung out on their own! Taking in the view as he glided steadily to the ground, Wind Rusher felt something he hadn't felt in years. A smile cautiously inched onto his muzzle.

After figuring out how to steer himself in the air, Wind Rusher kept did the best he could to hide. He kept to the shadows, sneaking through places tourists would never explore. As night fell, he slunk into a strip of abandoned businesses and sat in the wreck, checking for people until he fell asleep.

*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK*
"Hey, open up!"

Wind Rusher sprang up as he shot into consciousness. It was morning. Someone was at the door. "G-go away!" he yelled back. the knocker, presumably a woman, replied. "Listen, I wanna help you! Not to be mean, but I will let myself in if you don't!" Wind, panicking again, dipped back into half remembered legalese. "Well, I'm calling squatters rights, and if you trespass I will- I'll strangle you in self defense!" The woman snorted. "Yeah, you and what fingers?" Winds blood ran cold. "That's right, I know what you are, and I can help you, so open the door please? Nervously, Wind Rusher trotted to the door and opened it slowly. As he did, he was stunned to see that the woman was- like him.

At least, she looked to be the same animal as him, though with concrete differences. Her fur was a rich violet, contrasting against the mess of her pale red hair. A pair of too-small glasses rested on her muzzle. and most noticeably, a horn jutted from her forehead A unicorn! Wind realised. So i'm a kind of horse, then. But if she's a unicorn, what am I?

"Hi!" The purple stranger beamed. "I'm Ramble Gaze! I think we're gonna be friends."

Author's Note

life's too short to not write self insert fanfiction. although I want to stress that while Ramble Gaze is me, this story doesn't reflect my life accurately. I don't even live in america.

give me comments and I may write faster. look out for the next chapter, PONIES HELP PONIES, which I have only outlined so it may be a while.
-the purple stranger

2. Ponies help ponies

"...Hello? Buddy?" The unicorn, Ramble Gaze, stared back at Wind Rusher's blank expression. "Y'alright?" Wind was pretty far from alright, the past day considering. But he had to press on. "I- how this did- you're a unicorn." Ramble Gaze tilted her head. "Yes. And you're a pegasus. These are the facts." She trotted over to a nearby desk and clambered up a rusty swivel chair. "Gosh, you are confused, huh? Probably have questions. Well, ask away." The so called pegasus took a deep breath. "Why am I a horse? Why are you a horse? What's going on and how did this happen?!" Ramble Gaze blinked. "Ok first off, we are not horses, we are ponies. Don't ever call me a horse, it's rude. As for how, could be a lot of things. Tell me, did you have a near death experience in the past few days?"

"No."
"see or touch any mysterious, pony-related objects?"
"No."
"drink any pink, fluorescent liquids?"
"What? No."
"Did you turn 25 recently?"
"I'm 31."
"Mhm, sure, sure. Have you taken any pills that smelt like pasta sauce?"
"Wait, did YOU do any of that?"
"Well, I did the last one, but that's just cause I dropped my pills in my dinner last night."

Wind Rusher lifted an eyebrow.
"What?" Ramble leaned forward onto the desk. "Oh, no, that sounded worse than it is. Don't worry, they're medical pills. A doctor gave them to me. Anyway, if it wasn't any of that, it was probably Discord."
"Discord?" Wind's faith in this unicorn was steadily dropping. "The concept of people disagreeing did this to me?" Ramble Gaze laughed. "No no, the other discord. Y'know? Deer leg, antlers... I think a dragon tail?"
"Everything you're saying is pure nonsense." The pegasus retorted. Ramble Gasped. "Celestia's mane you haven't seen it."

"Seen what?" Wind shot back. "The show! How does some- you've gotta- Okay so basically there's a series of children's toys that look like ponies and they made it into a tv show then it was rebooted a bunch of times and it became really popular with a whole bunch of people and that's what we are now." Wind could feel a migraine coming on. He sat back on his haunches and rubbed his forehead with a front hoof. "Sorry, I- You're saying i've turned into a character from a children's show?" "Well, not quite." Ramble Gaze hopped of the chair and approached her fellow pony. "More like an original character designed to live in the universe of a really good children's show." She looked Wind Rusher over. "Maybe a background pony. Either or, let's get galloping! We've got a new friend to make!" The gray pegasus shot her an incredulous look. "Are you going to say anything that doesn't bring up about eight more questions?" he queried. "Probably not for a while, no." Ramble Gaze admitted. "I found you because I can sense other ponies with my magic, and there's another pony in Manhattan! We have to find them so we can all get somewhere, where it's safe for us!" Wind just stared at her, unblinking. "You. Have magic?" Ramble groaned. "Right, I can see you need a crash course. Walk and talk with me." She cleared her throat as the pair trotted to the door.
"So, Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria..."

The tunnel was cacophonous. All Wind could hear was the teeth-grinding, bone-shaking screech of metal on metal as the train rushed past and snaked into the darkness, leaving nothing but the echoing, rhythmic clunking of the tracks, and the ringing in his ears.

"...And I didn't watch for a bit after that, cause it felt especially shark-jumpy, even more so compared to the finale that came before it, like I would have given it one more season and ended it after that, but they just kept going. It's not hard, really! Like, these are the characters I watch for, and to push them to the sidelines just to-" Ramble Gaze halted, walked backwards for a few steps, then spun to face Wind Rusher. "We're here. Alright pal, there could be anything up there waiting for us. All likelihood, we'll have to fight our way to that pony. So feel free to try any of the pegasus abilities I told you about." The Stallion frowned sheepishly. "Yes, well, the thing about that... I may have stopped listening after you said the oldest horse raises the sun." Ramble Gaze let loose an angry sigh. "Pony. The oldest of the two pony sisters raises the sun. No horses. Just- come on."

It took a little climbing and a lot of falling, but soon the pair made it to the surface. Once they did, they found themselves in a cold, decaying alley. To one side, almost unseeable against the bricks, one wooden door was installed next to a single button intercom. "Our new best friend's in there." Ramble trotted up and, lifting her hoof, pressed the button. "Look, Whatever this place is, I doubt they'll just let two horses walk in." Wind tried to advise. The Unicorn swiveled her head back. "PONY! I don't wanna say it again, so listen! I am not, you are not, them in there is not, NOPONY IS A-"
The intercom buzzed. "Subway Pollutant Neutralisation Team, state your business."
"-HORSE!" The ponies froze. Ramble cleared her throat and pressed the button again. "Um, yes, this is Doctor Horse. With a C. I've been sent to examine the creature you're holding." She let the button go and looked to her companion. "Ok they won't let us in, let's find a window."
A buzzer sounded as the door unlocked. "Yeah, nevermind. Charge!"

Before he could think about the instruction, Rusher was Galloping past the reception desk and into a maze of cold concrete hallways. He quickly caught up with Ramble, who glanced at him and snickered. "Hey, I just thought of the funniest thing."

"Freeze!"

Within seconds, the ponies were swamped with a myriad of soldiers. All pointing guns at the duo. All under the command of one man standing at the front.

He was tall, pale, thin and angular as a razor. Dressed in a dark blue, almost black suit and tie, his short brown hair slicked back and shining. He stared at the Equine creatures with sunken, unreadable eyes. "Dr. Horce, I imagine." He spoke, his voice cold and deep. Ramble Gaze suppressed a laugh. "Only partially. You see, I'm not a real doctor. But I am a real horse!" She threw her head back and cackled, ceasing only when she noticed Wind's bemused expression. "C'mon, you set me up for that." The suited man cleared his throat. Two of the soldiers grabbed Wind and Ramble, lifting them until they were at eye level with the commander. "Where did you come from?" Wind cleared his throat, and attempted an air of professionalism. "I... we were humans. I turned into this yesterday." The man's expression did not change. "Um, may I ask who you are?" The man smiled for a second, or maybe it was a facial twitch. "Tyler Colburn. Director of the Super-Natural Preclusion Troop." Ramble spoke up again. "Supernatural? like, dragons and manticores, they're real?" She looked up, eyes pinpricks of fear. "No," Colburn replied. "This organization formed a month ago, when a member of the CIA human resource team became... one of you. We've been experimenting on it ever since." Colburn directed his stare to the two soldiers. "Find a cage for these animals."

The two ponies were painfully and unceremoniously tossed into an empty metal room. As they got back onto their hooves the door slid shut with a ringing slam. Wind Rusher exhaled. "This is good, actually." he said to himself. "They can find a cure. I'll bounce right back."
"Sorry bestie, but I doubt that." Ramble Gaze countered, shooting a glance to the door. "You heard bony-face back there. We're up for dissection. We're not ponies, we're itses. Good news is, that other pony's close, so we just have to get out, find them, and... get out again."

thump.

Wind scowled at the mare. "Look," He started, "Thank you for your help, but I think I'll stay. I'm going to let these guys turn me human again, and get back to my life. And I'd advise you to do the same."

thump.

Ramble turned around, trotting up to confront the stallion. "Do you know what preclusion means, smartypants? They're not just gonna let us trot out of here, human or not. This is the government! either they'll lock us up, or put our brains in jars and sell our manes as designer-"

thump. thump. thump. thump. thump.

The two ponies ended their argument, instead watching the wall on their left, where the thumps were coming from. A small dent soon formed, bulging into the room before tearing off, giving way to the being that broke the wall.
The third pony.
She was another mare, about the same height as wind, but skinnier than either him or Ramble. Also unlike the other two, this new pony lacked either wings or a horn. Her coat was almost vine green, reflecting vividly across their steel prison. Her mane was cut into a straight bob, black save for a few thin streaks of cyan-blue. This new pony stared at the other two with a shocked expression, her eyes starting to water. "I thought I was the only one..." She whimpered, falling to the floor and sobbing. "I thought I was the only one!"

"Oh gosh. Hey, it's ok, we're here. It's alright." Ramble trotted over and threw her forelegs over the green mare, in some pony approximation of a hug. "You're not alone anymore." As Ramble held the weeping pony, Wind was left watching in a state of monumental awkwardness. He stood there a moment, then reluctantly approached when Ramble waved him over. "We'll be friends with you! I'm Ramble Gaze, and this is..." She broke off the sentence, and looked to the pegasus. "I'm so sorry, I forgot your name."
"Oh." He sat down with his fellow ponies. "I'm... I've been calling myself Wind Rusher. Are- are you okay?"

The new pony got to her hooves. "I'm Riverdeep. I- These people- You can't stay here." She looked at Wind, her eyes big and desperate. "I heard what you said. They won't turn you back. They won't." Her vision snapped to Ramble. "You said we're ponies? Like from the show?"

"HAH! Yes!" The Purple mare jumped and bucked her back legs. "Wind didn't know! I spent like 15 minutes explaining the whole-" She cut herself off, her smile growing alarmingly wide. "I just remembered I'm a unicorn. I can get us out of here!" River smiled in hope, while the stallion looked confused. "How can you do that?"
"You'd know if you paid attention," Ramble shot back. "Now get close to me. C'mon, scooch up!"
Wind and River cautiously obliged, as Ramble began chanting under her breath. Her horn started to glow as she pulled her acquaintances closer, until the were squished cheek to cheek. "How can she do that?" Wind questioned his impromptu snuggle partner. River chuckled. "Well, She has magic, so she's trying to-"

The trio vanished in a flash of turquoise light.

Author's Note

So, the first chapter of this story was primarily written on a google doc, while this chapter was all in-website. Google docs autosave, while the Fimfiction writer doesn't. You can probably guess the rest.
Speaking of writing, how did I do? I think I'm getting good, but I can handle criticism. Please I need comments or I die.
Coming up next is HORSEWARD BOUND, where adventure and ramblings happen.
-Dr. Horce.

3. Horseward bound

The effect was almost instantaneous. One second, the ponified trio could see nothing but hard, silver metal. The next, pure light, somewhere between green and blue. And then... trees. Everywhere, trees. As Wind Rusher and Riverdeep took in their new surroundings, Ramble Gaze sat still, her chant growing steadily louder.
"Ithinkicanithinkicanithinkicanithinkicanithinkicanithinkicanithinkica- Oh I did it!" Wind was dumbstruck. "You did wh- What did you do?"
"I was trying to tell you." River explained, smiling. "Unicorns can teleport. She just... poofed us out of there! It really is like the show!" Wind was starting to feel sick of big surprises. "Teleported us? To where?" Ramble got up from her sitting position. "Well first I was concentrating on just not being there, then I started thinking about how cold it was in that room, which made me think about how I always wanted my dad to take me skiing, but he only took me on business trips, so this must be Zaleski forest! I teleported us to Ohio!" Wind inhaled deeply. "Okay, sure. Why not? The power to zap us three states away, under the control of the craziest not-person I've ever met." He muttered loudly. "Uh, none taken." Ramble snorted. "Besides, This is good! We're closer to the safe spot!"

"Wait, you have a safe place for us?" RiverDeep, who was previously staring into the forest, looked to the purple unicorn with a flash of hope. "Actually yeah," Wind inquired. "We should talk about that. I mean, where is it you're trying to take us? Ramble was inspecting some moss on the ground, seemingly not listening. "Well you know. Somewhere, Indiana," She said. "No, not good enough." Wind reprimanded. "Where in Indiana?"

"I told you, somewhere. I have a friend who can help us out. And if we're done arguing, Indiana is northwest from here, which should be-" Ramble pushed of the ground, gracefully pirouetted on her hind hooves, and landed on her muzzle. "-This way!"

And with that, the purple Pony trotted off into the woods, not waiting for more questions. Wind gave a concerning look to Riverdeep, who just smiled awkwardly and followed.

"Hey, I'm a little confused about something." Wind spoke to the green mare as he reluctantly began walking. "One thing?" She countered, smirking. "Well okay, I'm confused about everything that happened in the past two days," He admitted. "but this is something you can answer. Why does a CIA agent know so much about a show for kids?"

"It's a show for everyone, actually. As for why, you could call it a comfort thing. You see a lot of bad things working for the CIA. Corruption, Terrorism, Human rights violations, and that's just some of my coworkers. And when I watch My Little Pony, There's just this wholesome presence around everything. Seeing them all live in harmony, It gives me hope. Reminds me what to fight for." She smiled Wistfully.

Wind swallowed nervously. "Well, with all respect, I think you're reading into it too much."

Riverdeep scoffed and shoved Wind, knocking him off his balance. "Okay, dream crusher! what's your problem?"

"He's a grump!" Ramble Gaze called from further ahead.

"I'm not a grump!" Wind Rusher called back. "I'm just a healthy skeptic!"

"Big mean grump of a stallion!" Ramble continued. "You know I tried to tell him what abilities he has, and he just didn't pay attention? Total cranky doodle donkey!"

Sighing, Wind fell to peer pressure. "Ramble, I'm sorry. Please tell me about my... abilities."

"Well you know, basic stuff. You can push clouds, you can sit on clouds, you can shoot lightning... If you're standing on a cloud. Most of your powers are cloud-dependant, to think of. Of course, you got wings, which means..." Ramble Gaze dragged the last word out, leading Wind on like a kindergarten teacher.

Wind Rusher stumbled at the implication. "I... can fly?"

"You can fly." Riverdeep confirmed.

"He can fly!" Ramble sang in a bout of Peter Pan style whimsy-ness.
"Okay, that's completely impossible!" Wind protested. "I can accept being able to glide with these," He flapped his blue-tipped wings to emphasize, "but these are not big enough to lift me on their own!" Ramble snorted. "Yeah, If you care what humans think is possible. I say if you've got wings, fly with them, and to Tartarus with the physics!" River put a front hoof to her mouth, stifling a giggle.

"Oh, that's right, you too", Ramble Gaze continued, taking a moment to clear her throat. "Super strength."
"I have super strength?" River pondered. "Maybe just really, really strong," Ramble pondered also. "It's not, like crystal clear, but-Oh! can we try something?" River lifted an eyebrow at that. "What kind of thing?" she cautiously inquired. Ramble seemed intensely focused on her green companion, perhaps uncomfortably so. "Just go and touch a tree."

"Um, alright." River stopped her trot when the next tree was close, and put a front hoof to it. "So Ramble Gaze, Is something supposed to happe- ooo." She paused, as if listening for something. "This tree... Is 86 years old... slightly dehydrated... has a leaf beetle problem... and Wind is standing on one of its roots."

"Oh, Sorry." Wind responded, stepping forward a little. "What?"

"Plant communication!" Ramble Gaze cheered. "So, that settles it. I'm like Dr Strange, Wind, you're like Thor, and River is like Nature Girl... mixed with She-Hulk. Ohhhh, We're like superheroes! we need a team name!"
"We do not need a team name." Wind protested.
"A team name couldn't hurt." River mediated.

"OkOkOk," Ramble bounced a little, her face a portrait of refined concentration. "what if- no, better than that. how abo- we cou- no, no, yes, no, I got it!"

Ramble Gaze jumped and span in mid-air, raising a hoof and pointing in the direction they were headed.

"We are... The New Equestrians!"

Wind started walking past her. "So how old were you before the horse condition, exactly?"

Like pioneers, they traveled. Trudging through clearings, climbing over hills, sneaking under bridges. Stopping only to remain unnoticed by humans, they walked till the sun was high, and kept going.

"-And I was super lucky that her mom was a doctor, otherwise that could have been it for me. And that's why I don't eat canned food anymore. Oh speaking of eating, you two hungry?" The other two ponies shot a glance at each other. "No, not at all. That story was disgusting." Wind Rusher said, turning his head back to Ramble Gaze. "I've heard worse," Riverdeep countered. "and I could eat."

"Ok, Great, cause this is another great thing about the so-called "Pony condition." Ramble glared at Wind for a moment. "the world is our buffet!" She demonstrated by bending her neck down and munching on some flowers she had stopped by. "I'm not eating flowers, especially not out of the ground.", Wind complained again. "Ramble snorted a little, craning her neck behind her. "Would you eat them in a house? Really though, flowers are a important part of your diet now. Delicious, Nutritious, and really funny."

"How are they funny?" Wind Rusher impassionately groaned.
"Yeah, how?" Riverdeep genuinely asked, cantering forward and giving the flower patch a tentative sniff.
"Think of it like this;" Ramble began, resuming her nosh. "You like this girl, right? And you're walking to her house to meet her, and oh look, a flower stand. You buy some roses for her, she loves roses! So you knock on her door, she sees the roses, and just eats them. Right there on the doorstep. Peak comedy."

River let out a small titter. "Ramble, don't be funny while I'm eating, you'll make me choke. flowers are good though. Like a salted watermelon."
"You think so?" Ramble replied. "I thought a bit more tangy."

"HELP! HELP ME!" A voice called off in the distance. Quickly, the pointed ears of all three ponies swiveled to the direction the noise came from.

"Oop!" Ramble Gaze exclaimed. "Okay gang, no more food, gotta save that human!"
"You are insane!" Wind countered. "The whole time we've been doing this, we've had to avoid other people because they'll lock us up and do Celestia knows what, and now you want to- WHO IS CELESTIA! STOP SAYING WRONG THINGS!" Neither River nor Ramble were listening to this self-berating tirade, and had already galloped off to the source of the noise. by the time Wind Rusher caught up, the two mares were standing on a small cliff, which dropped down into a lake.

Where a small girl of about 6 or 7 was frantically splashing.

"What do we do?" Ramble Gaze asked coolly. "What do we do? This was your idea!" Wind snapped.
"I've never done anything like this!" Ramble turned to him, her stoicism gone in an instant. "I know we're not the lake lifeguards, were just the only creatures here right now, and it's a little scary, but we have to save her! River, any ide- River?"

Riverdeep had jumped of the cliff, dove into the water, and was now swimming towards the girl. From their vantage point, the Pegasus and the Unicorn watched in astonishment as the green Pony wrapped a forearm around the girls shoulders and began swimming to the shore. "We need to help." Ramble Gaze said, thinking. "Wind! you can fly! Fly over and pick them up!"

"B-but I've never flown before! I don't know how!"
"Mr. Rusher, I need you to look at me. can you feel the wings on your back?"
"Yes?"
"Spread your wings out. feel the wind on your feathers"
"I feel it."
"Forget everything about real world physics. Magic is real and you can fly. I wanna hear you say it."
"Magic is real and I can fly?"
"Say it like you believe it!"
"Magic is real and I can fly!"
"Yes! River and that little girl down there need you to fly over and pick them up. So GO, NEW EQUESTRIAN!"
"YES!" Wind Rusher galloped to the cliff-side, leapt off the edge...

...and instantly sank like a ton of bricks.

Panting and shaking, Wind Rusher dragged himself onto the shore of the lake, where Riverdeep was waiting with the girl, who was staring wide eyed, back and forth between the two of them. The mare looked at the stallion puzzledly, then shot him a smug grin. "You tried to fly, didn't you?" He sighed. "I really thought I could do it." River frowned, and was about to speak again, when a man's voice called out from the trees.
"Molly? Molly?!" Before River or Wind could find a place to hide, a man with a hiking backpack stepped onto the shore. It took the man a few seconds to realize what he was looking at. "Molly," he spoke slowly. "What are those?"
"Daddy!" The little girl cried, leaping up and running into her fathers arms. "The Pony saved me!" The man held his daughter, still staring at the ponies. Wind shrank under his eye, but Riverdeep stood tall. "Sir, not to bad-mouth your parenting abilities, but you should keep your child under better supervision."

Stumbling, the man was hesitant to respond. "No o-offense taken. You saved her." The man put his daughter down and extended his hand to River. "I'm David Langstrom. If you need anything, I'll do my best to pay you back." River lifted a front hoof and bumped it against his knuckles. "I'm Riverdeep and that's Wind Whistler. Saving Molly was no trouble, but... would you mind giving us a ride to Indiana?"
"Not yet though," Wind spoke up. "We still don't know exactly where. We've gotta pick up an acquaintance of ours."
"A friend of ours." River rebutted.
"Let's say associate."
"Aw, C'mon! that's worse than acquaintance!"

"No, you don't understand!" Ramble Gaze stated. "if today is the 21st, then we were teleporting for 8 days, but for us it was instant! I can't even begin to grasp what that could mean! Is that just the trade off for traveling so far? Is my magic defective? Does this mean time travel is possible, but only in the least convenient way?" From the other side of the dinette booth, Molly stared blankly. "Can I scratch your ears?" Ramble thought for a moment. "You can, but if I don't like it, you have to stop."

Meanwhile, the rest of the group were all sitting at the front of the RV, David behind the wheel and Wind and River sharing the passenger seat. "The three of you used to be humans?" David remarked. "It's not contagious, is it?" Riverdeep laughed, then slowly trailed off, while Wind Rusher looked out the window nervously. "Enough about us. What were you and Molly doing in the forest?" David sighed. "This was her Moms favorite place to go hiking. I thought it would cheer her up after..." River stood on her hind legs and put a hoof on David's shoulder. "Can I talk to her?"

"Oooooh, It's like your fingers are made of magic..." Ramble Gaze lay prone on the booth table, as Molly scratched her ear. "Hey girls," River said, approaching the two. "Ramble, can you give us a moment?"
"Ah, of course" Ramble hopped off the table and made her way to the cockpit. "ask her to go for the back of the neck" she whispered to River as she passed. River climbed on the seat next to Molly and put a hoof on her knee. "I heard about your mom," she spoke softly. "Is everything ok?" Molly frowned, and started stroking Rivers head slowly. "I don't know why she had to die. I really miss her." River nodded. "My dad died when I was 17. One day I woke up and he was just gone. I learned how to live without him, but I don't think I'll ever stop missing him."

Molly was crying silently, and River was starting to tear up as well. "Sometimes," Molly sniffled, "I have dreams where she's still alive, and when I wake up, I just wish I could live in the dream. Do you ever have dreams about your dad?" Riverdeep nodded, snuggling her head into the crook of Molly's neck. "I think... if your mom or my dad are out there somewhere, then dreams like that are signs that they're thinking of us." Molly hugged River around her torso, and as they held the hug, a small flash of light burst around River's flanks. As the light subsided, River noticed that now her flanks were adorned with an image, three water drops on each side.

"What was that? Are you Ok?" Wind Rusher galloped to the dining table, With Ramble Gaze following close behind. As she caught up, Ramble gasped in revelation. "Holy hayseed, River! You got your cutie mark!" Riverdeep's shrieked in excitement. She leapt down from the table, kicking her hooves wildly. "Omigosh, Ican'tbelieveit, thisincredible, Ihaveacutiemaaaaaaark!" her enthusiasm was infectious, causing Molly to cheer, Ramble to applaud, and David to quickly look back to see what the noise was. Wind, however, was again at a loss. "Um, congratulations... Ramble, what is a cutie mark?" Ramble stopped cheering. "Oh yeah. Well, they're kinda like... Y'know what, I'm sick of explaining things. Molly, you're a kid, you've got a tablet, right?"

"This makes no sense at all! These readings are clear, but the source is... this just can't be right!"

Luckily, Molly did have a tablet, and Wind Rusher at last got to see an episode of this frequently mentioned show. In this episode, three little girl ponies, "fillies" as River and Ramble insisted, were traveling around town asking various adult ponies how they got the images on their rear ends. "So," Wind started, just to prove he was listening, "A cutie mark is something that occurs when a pony discovers the purpose of their life, visually symbolized by a picture on their backside? So, what do water drops mean?" Ramble raised her front hoof, opened her mouth... and lowered her front hoof again. "uhh... maybe it's cause you saved Molly?" she questioned to River, "You could a lifeguard?" Wind Rusher scratched his chin in thought. "You were going pretty fast. Maybe you're a swimmer?" He pondered. "What if it's crying?" Molly suggested.

"Hey, ponies?" David called from behind the wheel. "Were coming up on your port of call." Hearing this, the three equine passengers hurried to the RV's front and took in the view from the windshield. "Ok, you've got to tell us now." Wind said to Ramble Gaze. "What is this safe spot you're taking us to? Where are we?"

Author's Note

Please give me comments I need comments or I die