The House Always Whinnies

by David Silver

15 - The Rain Ends

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Fleur smiled, it was a thing she had practice with doing, in that proper way. A great big grin would throw ponies off, no, a subtle turning of the lips, the rest of her face lending towards that look of gentle acceptance. A refined smile! A pity those she smiled for were not looking for such subtle details. The crowd screamed and hooted, as if they were excited patrons in a casino, which they were.

She stood on a platform with some of the other mares. It was a new game the brothers had thought up. The casino goers were asked quiz questions, and they were allowed to-- "I'd like to phone a celeb!" The pony that had failed to think up an answer turned to Fleur, Octavia, and Spitfire, the famous ponies on tap that round. "I'll go with... her." He pointed at Spitfire. "I bet she knows."

Spitfire nodded. "Alright, hit me." The question was repeated for her. "Oh, yeah, sure." She tapped at her chin. "Like the view from a mile up. Gotta corkscrew!" The audience laughed and applauded. It wasn't the right answer, but it was amusing, and that was, in many ways, a better answer for them to give.

When the curtain came down later, Fleur sagged. "We made it."

Octavia was leaving rapidly, barely giving time for the curtain to conceal her. "If you need me, you know where to find me." She was headed back to the performing area, where she could ply the one trade she cared about.

Spitfire threw an arm around Fleur's withers. "We made it through just fine."

Fleur considered that a moment. "We did, mon ami, but to stand and make silly answers is hardly what I am comfortable doing." Her horn glowed as she gently tugged things back into position, fussing over her clothes and mane. "My refinement is what ponies come for, is it not?"

Spitfire shrugged lightly. "And that's why they get a giggle out of seeing you up here. Fancy pony playing a trivia game? They love it. None of us look quite like we, you know, belong here. Pretty sure that's the whole gimmick."

"There they are." There was Flim, grinning. "You two were amazing--"

"--wonderful," added Flam.

"--even spell dazzling!" Flim nodded firmly. "An excellent show. Go on back to the floor, do what you do best."

"With pleasure. À bientôt." Fleur dipped her head at the two and walked away, in no great hurry. It was against her style to rush if she could avoid it.

Spitfire was alone with the brothers. She leaned in with a smirk. "So, what's the haps? I haven't seen any new ponies coming through."

"Oh?"

"Not what the numbers show." Flam's horn glowed, holding up a clipboard. "We have a veritable bonanza of new traffic."

"Not what I mean." Spitfire rolled her eyes at the misunderstanding. "New mares. New staff." She huffed softly. "Not even the hint of any, but you keep dumping more work on us. If you want more work, get more mares."

"Easier said than done," noted Flim in an apologizing tone.

"Budgets--"

"Plans--"

"You know how it is." The brothers nodded in unison at Spitfire. "We would if we could."

"If we could," sighed out Flim. "But you're doing a great job!"

"Fantastic," eagerly agreed Flam. "You get out there and keep on knocking 'em over. They love it!"

"Adore it." Flim bobbed his head, reaching up to adjust his hat. "As do we."

"Most certainly." Flam reached out to tap Spitfire on the chest. "Tell you what."

"Ooo, what's that?" Flim leaned over as if he didn't already know the idea.

"Next time we consider somepony, we'll tell you ahead of time."

"Brilliant!"

Spitfire looked less certain. "That's a start… If you plan to actually get someone." Someone versus somepony was a little human tic. So easily missed. "Why don't you let me get someone? I bet I could get a few eager mares if you let me take the wheels for a change."

Flim worked at his bowtie nervously.

"You see." Flam stepped closer. "It's not as simple as it appears. Only a specific pony do that. Her talent."

"Her destiny," added Flim, joining the flow. "It's right on her bottom, as they tend to be."

Spitfire glanced back at her own rump, the flaming wing displayed. "Speaking of that… I'm having fun and all, but these wings gotta stretch a little. Won't your people love a show of Spitfire doing what Spitfire does best?"

The brothers shared a glance, Flim breaking the quiet first, "That's a stupendous--"

"--delightful--

"--Crowd capturing idea!" Flim nodded with growing confidence. "If you're ready to spread those wings, I see no reason to stop you. Let us plan out the particulars of the when and where."

Flam poked Spitfire in the center of her chest. "You're the aerial expert. We'll leave those specifics to you, once we have the rest worked out."

Flim flashed a new smile. "We say when, you say how. Together, we'll have the audience exploding with cheers."

Spitfire's expression warmed. "Now we're talking." Not as good as new mares, but a close second… "I'll need to practice. I'll be outside." She pointed towards the exit of the casino. "I lay claim on six hours a day to keep on top of my game. You want this to work, you need me out there, working it."

Unseen to the brothers, Spitfire and Penn were in eager conversation with one another. Spitfire made it clear, they had been lazy. It was fun, but she was disastrously out of shape. She needed time in the air to get her stuff back. It'd be work, real work. But, she promised, it'd be fun, and the result would be completely worth it.

That Penn agreed was obvious with their shared smile, the two halves reaching consensus without a single outward sign of their conversation. Two halves of the same coin, they were in harmony. "We--I'll let you know when I'm ready to let loose and razzle their dazzle." She shook her back end with a sly smirk.

Flam began leading the way off the stage. "We'll look forward to how it goes then."

"Not that we have any doubt of your abilities."

"Perish the thought," gasped Flam with horror, faked likely. "The other mares will have to cover you."

Spitfire turned an ear back, but there wasn't another way… "If you let me snag a mare."

Flim and Flam both shook their heads at that. "Even if we 'let' you," noted Flim. "You don't know how. We don't either! Only one pony has that trick."

"Just one," affirmed Flam. "And she isn't sharing."

"A magician rarely likes to share their tricks." Flim nodded with a soft mhmm. "Speaking of, let's see your magic. Good luck up there."


With Spitfire not working a chunk of her hours, the others had to step up to fill in that opening. For some of them, little to no change was noticed. Apple Bloom had to offer food the exact same number of hours, and she wasn't that useful trying to play Spitfire's part.

The other Apple sister, however… "Ya sure about this?"

Flim bobbed his head. "You're great friends with a world-renowned performer, are you not?"

"I'm certain you could if you tried." Flam nudged Applejack forward. "Just sing from the heart." An idea struck him. "In fact, why not forget the crowd."

"What crowd?" Flim leaned in from the other side, backing his brother up. "It's just you and--"

"Apple Bloom," completed Flam perfectly. "Your little sister, who'd love to hear a few kind words from her sister."

And it was that Applejack sung a little song of encouragement to her little sister. The fact that the crowd was there, forgotten for the time. It was just her and the strangely-grown filly that she cared for very much.

As Flim and Flam had predicted, Applejack had a lovely voice for singing. Requests for her companionship rose with her performance. The pressure on the other mares was decreased in turn as some of that attention slid onto the back of that earth pony.


"I'll buy 'em." A pony sat across the desk, eying the brothers critically. "How much? My show needs that kind of star power. I don't know where you found such trained actors, but they have it, and I want it." With a toss his head, he sent a heavy sack of bits onto the desk. "How much?"

Flim polished his chest with a cocky smile. "Our lovely mares bring in that much on their own." His eyes dropped to the bag and up to the stallion offering it. "Why would we sell the goose laying the golden eggs?"

"When we can sell the eggs instead?" finished Flam, looking equally as confident.

The pony moved a thick cigar from one side of his snout to the other. "You ain't getting the picture. Now, see, this town…" He trailed a hoof over the desk. "It runs on a few rules. You two, you're a flash in the pan. You come in, stir things up, but then you're gone. How it works."

Flam shook his head. "That's just because--"

"--Zip it," cut in their increasingly unwelcome guest. "You've already bungled it up once. Now, you're gonna leave, the only question is how you do it. You gonna ride out of town in style…" He set a hoof on the heavy bag of coins. "Or are you gonna get rode out of town."

Flim clopped a hoof down on their desk. "You are being very rude in our office!"

"Very so," agreed Flam, joining his brother in scowling at the visitor. "Guard!"

The door swung open instantly, the large form of the largest pony they had on staff poked in. "Anything the matter?" gently asked Celestia with that peaceful smile of hers.

The intruder grabbed his bag, throwing it up over his back, the opening clutched with his hoof in a casual ignoring of physics. "Hey, toots. Looking big and wonderful as usual, eh? You ever get tired of workin' for these mooks, I know three places that'd snatch you up, pay at least double whatever they're throwin', maybe more."

Celestia was ready to reply smoothly, but paused. She could feel intense pressure from the inside. The hurt woman inside her didn't like the angry pony before her, not at all. She could feel that revulsion and fear growing, and it only made Celestia scowl. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave, sir." Her horn began to glow with unspoken promises. "Now."

"Hey, no reason to get your knickers in a twist." The pony began on his way, walking for the door in no special hurry. "The offer's still on the table though. You look me up, I'll get you a great deal."

The door closed behind him, glowing with Celestia's magic as she nudged it firmly closed. The pressure within her abated, and her own tension faded along with it. "What did… he want?"

Flim rolled a hoof in the air. "He wanted to get in on the action."

"But you mares like it here, don't you?" finished Flam with a great smile. "Thank you for your timely assistance."

"Always impeccable work," agreed Flim. "If you see that cad around, see him to the street. He is not welcome in our casino!"

"Without a doubt." But Celestia stood there still a moment. "Sirs? How are the numbers?"

Flam waved that away. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about that! We have it under control."

Celestia curled a hoof to point at herself. "I am no longer acting princess, but I have had experience managing an affair significantly larger than a casino… If I can help?"

Flim reached to get an arm over Celestia, which proved quite impossible to do casually. "We appreciate it, really we do. But we just need you to do your part."

"Which you're so good at," added Flam with a bright smile. "Thanks for being part of the team."


Author's Note

The dynamics are shifting a bit, for the better? Mmm, that might have been a typo.

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