Pencil Sharps guide to grammar

by PacifistDoodl3r

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Narcotics, Original Character
Length: 1629

A mare tries to explain the importance of good grammar.

Can't decide on whether you should write with your mouth, hoof, or wing? Here's a helpful guide on how to “get gud” and feel confident with your writing!

From yours truly, Pencil Sharp!

Cover art is made by me.

...there's no actual grammar tips here. sorry.

I'm not sorry for saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY! If it's your birthday todayyy

Published 2021-07-25 05:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-07-25 05:10:01 UTC

Comma, period, and-

“Okay, so, we're going to need to check you're vision! Duh- that's why your here!” The mare in the white coat swiveled in the chair.

“W-will this hurt?” Pencil couldn't keep her face normal.

“Mhm, I'm going to stab your eyes out and slowly lick the moisture off of them!”

“Oh, how fun! Before or after the anesthetic?”

“pfft who says you're getting some?”

“Even better!” Pencil clapped her hoofs together and anticipated the surgery, took off her glasses and placed them on the counter.

“Time to cover your left eye- no, that's your right I said left! Better! How well can you see?”

Pencil’s vision was blurry and it caused her to squint. “I see just fine!”

“Good! Now you're ri- I swear to Celestia if you purposely switch- GOOD! Now, see this book? Does it make you sad you can't read? GOOD! You can't read yet!” The optometrist smile. “We will now take out this weird looking machine that spins! But before that, answer a few questions for me okay?”

“Sure! Are you still going to eat my eyeballs?”

“Maybe- we only say that to strike fear in anypony.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“That's fair.”

“You're eyes look delicious to eat! I always like the color orange!”

“Then I'm glad I have a good flavour then!”

“I'll make this quick!”

“Super!”

“You can shut up now.”

“Of course.”

The eye doctor takes out the machine that spins for eyes.

“Ok, Pencil, don't blink.... OK, Pencil, don't blink! Don't... blink... oh. It's not even on.” The smart mare (besides Pencil, obviously) plugs in the machine and it whirrs on.

“Can I blink? It's been twenty seconds?”

“Why should you? I said no.”

“The- the moisture?”

“Oh- right right! Blink- go ahead!”

Pencil blinks. And prepares the machine to get to be use on her.

Her eyes get lined up with the holes, and the doctor presses her face against the thingy.

“Don't scream.” She said to Pencil.

“Wasn't planning to-”

The machine turn and sucks out her eyes.

No blood or gore was present, only the skull muscles and subtle movements from her once present retinas.

Her vision became red, pulsating with veins on emptiness and red vines that twisted every second she took a breath.

“This will only take a sec, oki?” The high pitch voice told her.

Hoof were placed on shoulder and something clamped tight.

“Hold still, it's time for your new eyes!”

Sound of metal grind and buzz was heard. A thing jammed into her face.

Pencil sharp blinked. Again. Her head hurt. She move her eyes side to sides and looked around the room with slightly clear vision. The doctor walk to her with a mirror.

“Ms. Pencil, how do you like eyes?”

“My eyes look... better! They are not grey and foggy anynore!”

“That's good!”

“Although...”

“Although?”

“Things still feel blurry a little? I think I need to do the thing one more times?”

“Yes that's understandable! Lay back down!”

“So soon? No need prepare?”

“None whatsoever!”

The doctor pushed Pencil back on the seat and brushed over her face with a hoof.

“Shh shhh shh one last time!”

“Ok.”

“I'm going to take you're eyes again- and maybe eat them. They dont feed us doctors at the doctor place anymore. Understand?”

“That makes sense. The economy in Equestria is a bit on the rocky side.”

“That's why your orange balls will be my supper!”

The doctor hold Pencil down and slams the machine against her face, making it drill into her sockets and suck out her eyes.

The thing took her eyes and shifted where her new eyes are at.

Pencil could only see red and a little teeny bit of a slightly darker red.

“Here you go! I am think this is the last test of eyes before we have to euthanize you!”

“Ok!” Pencil reply, but only see red.

The doctor mare hooked her up to the machine and press a button on. Pencil felt the thingy plunge into her skull and twist. It was over.

It was finally done!

Pencil Sharp woke up.

She takes her hoof and rubs them. Wondering why her eyes feel funny. Dreams aren't real and that's weird they feel as if the dream happened when really it didn't.

“Oh right. My video I have to record today about grammar! The one I'm recording today!”

Pencil got up and got ready and puts on her glasses.

She opened a window and embraced the cold morning breeze.

Her auburn mane flown with the wind a little before she closed the window and ducked inside.

A loud knock was heard at the window, when she tried to approach it, an even louder crash followed.

Her friend, Camare-a, a light black unicorn with yellow hair, crawled through the broken window. She avoided the shards of glass.

“Hiya, Pencil!”

“Cam, why'd you break my window again?”

“Trying to see which way was quicker!”

A click and a creak was heard on que, Camare-a opened the front door as her clone poofed out of thin air.

“You done?” Pencil tilted her head as a periodic grunt was heard to her left.

“N-not yet?”

The sound of bricks scraping behind her was there. Her ears flicked and crinkle her nose a little.

“It- it takes a minute, ok? I think you're chimney needs to be clean.”

Finally, a gust of black soot shot out in a cloud and a duffel bag rolled out from the fire place.

Camare-a lifted a hoof. “Wait.”

And another, smaller bag rolled out after the other one.

Pencil Sharp shook her head. “I've been meaning to remind you-”

A clank from the kitchen interrupted the sentences. Camare-a poofed again, disappearing in front of her.

“I took the back door! Making you breakfast!” Aftet a moment. “I can't cook!”

“What's in you bags?”

“The equipment to record the video about whatever it is you making!”

Pencil go to the kitchen and found her friend making a mess of batter and eggs and milk.

She crinkles her nose in disgust and adjusted her glasses.

“What are you doing?”

“Cooking like an earth pony. To see how you do it?”

“Is level one the unicorn way? Level two pegasi and three earth pony?”

“You forgot the impossible tutorial which is alicorn.”

“Oh ha ha- you... made me remember they existed before.”

“’cept for Twilight. This only happened a few years ago- nothing has changed?”

“Soon enough she'll drop dead too- then there would be a grave collector’s set.” Pencil feel terrible after making that remark.

“We have a video to record!”

“uh huh!”

“And- there's pancakes taste terrible. I tasted better food when I was pregnant!”

“You have a foal?”

“No- even though abortions are illegal in Equestria, my ‘foal’ was still- erh- nevermind.”

“Yeah, but I meant- oh... oh...”

“Back to it!”

“Oh- okay. How we going to set up this? It's my first time recording!”

Camare-a was shocked there was no script to begin with. “Do you even have a script? To rehearse lines and start?”

“How hard can making up words be? It'll be easy!” Pencil Sharp grin and stared at the ground nervously.

“Your too smart to have a script?”

“It seems that way!” She started to open the bag and took out their equipment.

A few black poles for the stand, and the shiny silver part to connect the poles. The camera holder was in the bag too.

“No use in stalling, lets get this over with?”

***

[Hours Later]

“It's been hours later and we just barely managed to get this set up! So, where do we film?” Camare-a asks, prodding the stand.

“My grandparents house are nearby here? Maybe we can visit? I mean- I use to take care of their rose bushes but it's been a while!”

“Pencil, I don't like meeting new ponies. How about the saloon nearby?”

“Where?”

When they get there, there it was. Pencil read the sign out loud to herself.

“Soda Corner? Want to get drunk before we record?”

“Are you insane?”

“....yes?”

“Of course I wouldn't want to be under the influence while recording- I am a responsible mare!”

“Two alcoholic ciders for the both of us!” Pencil piped up.

“And how old are you too?” The bartender asks.

“I'm in my twenties- I forgot my age! And my friend, here, is twenty-six!”

Camare-a duck her head and hid, “Pencil, can you not say this out loud?”

“Sorry.” She replies.

So then they ordered the drinks without any more questions. Except for a worried Camare-a.

“Where did you get the bits?”

“shhh.”

“Ok.”

Later when they were sort of drunk, they took out the camera and prepared to record.

Camare-a pointed the... camera at Pencil. “I'm gonna record without giving you any warning!”

“What-”

[REC•]

Pencil jumped and hurried outside with her friend following.

“I- I'm Pencil Sharp, here, going to give you some tips on how to be a better writer and better your- your grammar~” She gives a weak smile and wink at the camera. “Pro tip: Don't be ironic or sarcastic with whatever it is you're writing. Unless- unless, unless it's a satire or something.

“Another tip is- draft your work. Have multiple versions on your thing. You know? Tip six- or... was this four? Another thing, if you waste the readers time- they will be pretty peeved! Are you censoring that when you edit?”

Camare-a nodded her head yes.

“And another-another tip, don't be phased if somepony dislikes your work. They don't have the unique mind you have, so embrace what they lack- a- I can't read that word.” Pencil point to the motivational billboard behind them. “I have to sneeze. Let's try this again- end the video.”