Rumination

by WannaBeLaika

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Princess Luna, Tragedy, Gore, Violence
Length: 1341

Celestia misses Luna even after she's back. She thinks about her guilt and if banishing Luna had really been the right thing to do.

Banishing her sister to the moon for a thousand years was a painful choice to make. Celestia still misses Luna sometimes. The loneliness can get unbearable, and Celestia takes time to think over the choices she made and ruminate on her guilt.

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Inspired by "Your Own Sky" by PrinceWhateverer.

Rated T to be safe because there is some blood in this and something a little gory so be warned.

Published 2021-07-29 21:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-07-29 21:00:00 UTC

This is Forever

Celestia looked up at the sky and sighed. The night always reminded her of Luna. Luna was a sweetheart, really, but she could be so annoying sometimes. Like today. She decided to finish off all the cake, first of all, and then finished off all the ingredients to make more. And ate all the cakes she made from them right to Celestia’s face. All of them. And Celestia didn’t get any.

Of course, she couldn’t hold a grudge against Luna for long. She always felt guilty for it. Like she was being ungrateful for her. Every time Celestia got mad at her, she never stayed mad for more than ten minutes without saying sorry afterward. It was like she felt that she needed to spend as much time with Luna as she could, like her time with her would run out, and she would lose her again.

Even so much as a few hours without her and she already felt lonely again. Sometimes even when she was with her, and she thought about those thousand years that Luna was on the moon, she still missed her.

Looking up at the sky now, she felt that same loneliness she always felt. It reminded her of Luna. But it also reminded her of what she had done.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celestia was sweating all over. Her breath was thick and laboured. Her vision was hazy and unfocused. She looked up at Luna -- or, the monster she had become. Nightmare Moon stood above her, smiling with a wickedly toothy grin, and cackling like a maniac -- though the sound was lost to Celestia’s ears, almost muted in comparison to the loud ringing in her ears.

The sky above the pair of sisters was dark, the sun hidden behind the moon that Nightmare Moon had placed in front of it. The only light in the sky for the past eight hours had been what little radiated off the sun from behind the moon and the blasts of magic that the sisters had been throwing at one another in an attempt to bring the other down.

Their battle for dominance had, initially, been mostly flying around and shooting lazers at one another, but as the Nightmare became more angered, her attacks had become much more physical. Celestia found herself struggling to hold her own against Nightmare Moon, and finally, she had been knocked right out of the darkened sky.

That was where she was now, cowering under the shadow of Nightmare Moon, trying to catch her breath and regain some control over her weakened body. Many of her feathers had been torn out as Nightmare Moon had relentlessly blasted her during her fall, and she was bleeding from where a broken foreleg had torn through her flesh.

She closed her eyes and wished it would just be over soon, that her misery would end, and she might find some way to get rid of this awful Nightmare.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celestia walked down the corridor leading to Luna’s room. Her hoofsteps echoed along the cold floors, creating a sense of empty space surrounding her. As she reached her destination, she heard Luna bumbling about in her room, presumably attempting to make her bed as she got up for the night. Luna’s sleep schedule always felt quite jarring to Celestia, since she was the only pony she knew who slept through the day and awoke at night.

Celestia timidly opened the door to Luna’s room and poked her head in. She stifled a laugh at the state the room, as well as the owner of it, were in. The table lamp was on the floor, the bookshelf was overturned and books were scattered across every inch of floor that wasn’t taken up by either masses of bedding or a writhing Luna.

Celestia righted the shelf and returned the books to their former order, then the table lamp, and then the bedding. Luna smiled gratefully at her sister and flushed lightly with embarrassment at being found in such a state of disarray. Her mane was sticking directly up in the back from rolling around in the bedsheets and trying to untie herself from them. As usual, Luna had been in such a hopeless position that it took help from Celestia to free her from the wad of blankets and pillowcases.

The two bid each other good night and Celestia retreated to her quarters. As she trotted down the hallway, she felt her mood shift. The cheeriness of the small laugh she had shared with Luna was so relaxing, yet she felt like she should have let it last longer. She wished she had spent a few minutes more with Luna, and her pace slowed. She came to a complete stop and turned around. She looked down the corridor, but Luna had already left to guard the dream world.

Celestia continued on to her room.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celestia’s lungs were on fire. Her face was sopping wet with blood, sweat, and tears. Nightmare Moon was gaining on her. She dove to avoid a ray of magic aimed her way. Nightmare Moon chased her around a turret as Celestia veered to the left in an attempt to lose her pursuer long enough to catch a breath and think of a plan. As she flew right around another turret, she suddenly changed course, going left again and causing Nightmare Moon to crash into the tall spire Celestia had flown behind.

Celestia sat on a balcony and let herself relax enough to breathe. She tried to think of something that she could use to defeat the Nightmare, but her terrified, adrenaline-drenched mind wasn’t able to think clearly enough to make up a plan before she was suddenly ambushed by Nightmare Moon. There was a sickening snap and a roaring pain in her chest as she broke through a stained glass window. She thought she was going to die.

A small magenta gemstone fell by her side, and she picked it up to look at it. The star glowed and pulsated faintly with magic, and Celestia finally knew what she had to do.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celestia sat at her window. The moon hung above her, cool and haunting. Scars from the Mare in the Moon were spread across its surface, casting shadows across the rocky sphere. The castle gardens looked monochromatic in the moonlight, giving them a kind of eerie and cold look. The night as a whole had an essence of solitude and made for a perfect setting for Celestia to think about the horrible punishment she’d given to her sister.

Yes, she had been doing something wrong, and she would most likely have destroyed Equestria in the process, but Luna was still Celestia’s sister, and no one deserved that much time all alone without anyone. Celestia was just glad to have her back.

She hoped she wouldn’t have to do anything like that ever again. To anypony.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As she looked up at the moon one last time before finally lowering it and ending the night, she thought about what she had done. She would get Luna back in a thousand years. She just didn’t know it now. So there was only one thought in her head, repeating itself.

This is forever.