Unasked Questions and Given Answers
Please Love Me?
B_25 & Categorical Grant
You had no reason to be here. Not in this city, not in this castle, and not before the throne doors. Guards flanked the vast expanse of the walls, lined on either side of the carpet, bearing their holstered weapons and stoic faces.
They did not look at you, but you could feel the fixations of their minds.
You did not belong here. You were without reason. You brought nothing and were without a concrete request. Those soldiers were here because of their duty, to protect this castle, and ensuring it maintained proper function. They could not sense your reasoning for being here, and their lips lifted ever so slightly.
Why were you here? Without appointment or friends of the crown? You were a friend, somewhat, though not really. You lurked in the background. One among the group, but belonging more to the crowd behind. Twilight had a better reason for being here, unannounced, because she and the crown were close.
And it was that feeling that compelled you to lay your claw on the doors to the throne, pushing on it, slowly, as its mighty weight caused you to strain. Your other claw settled on the marble to help, and you suppressed a grunt. Were it not for your status due to your relation with others, you would be with greater restriction.
The guards would not stop you from doing as you pleased, but they would also not assist unless they were asked.
A slice of light draped across your snout like morning breakfast being laid over your scales. You create enough space to slip through the opening, feeling the smooth velvet massage your feet. The carpet grew the closer it was to her.
And every blissful step reminded you of how unworthy you were to be here.
You stopped. But there was no sense in that.
The door ached in sound as it was pulled back, sealing in a quiet boom, one that left you alone with the princess. You raised your head to swallow, the gulp, audible, and echoing. Quickly your claws gripped your throat, tightening the passage responsible for giving you life.
"Cease."
Your claws unwrapped from your throat as the flesh filled out from being compressed. You blinked as you hover your talons before your face, shaking your head a bit, wondering at how they released so quickly. You followed the command as though it coursed through you, and only truly heard it once you were able to breathe.
The voice had floated through the empty ocean of the room, and you were bound to continue forward. Step after step across the carpet of red as your gaze fell around to the space that surrounded you.
Walls were as distant as the shore was from a boat, and thick beams consumed the ground and sprawled up to heaven. You looked up, but didn't see the ceiling. Rather, a warm, gold, transparent glow hung overhead. It soothed you as its greatness frightened you.
Your head lowered but stopped in its descent as you became frozen in your next step. Your lips opened just enough for air to blow loose. Everything within vanished. Feeling. Thought. Emotion. Once your eyes had settled above, over the steps leading to the throne, there, you had caught a glimpse at the one who sat here.
And it felt like sin to look at an angel.
The goddess sat in her throne with her head lowered forward as the wisp of her mane undulated in a never-ending rainbow. The brightness of her whiteness shamed the surrounding marble of ivory. Her coat was fluffed, thick and expanded, enough for a head to sink into and for it to swallow.
The angel's face went unseen as her mane swept over it. The seconds ticked into moments, and slowly, the head started to raise. Rising as the sunlight seemed to brighten. Its glow washed across the floor and came to warm the back of your ankles.
The throne room had become a pond, a sacred place of nature and beauty, and you were the invader in paradise. You did not belong here, and your filth tainted the heavenly pool. You did not deserve to be washed. You were not worthy, and worst yet, you did not have a reason to be here.
But fears were flushed and swirled to the back of your mind as the face of her entered your view. The mare was taken from a book as her muzzle lifted from its pages. Her eye was closed and tranquil.
It then opened, rather slowly, and settled upon you.
Princess Celestia smiled.
"Spike? My-My." Her horn ignited into a calm gold as the same glow lifted her book, raising and setting it aside on the table there. She was still smiling, and it grew enough for her eye to shut in glee. The princess took to mirth after having seen you. "You've grown so much!"
Your mouth opened, but words did not pour out. Your expression took on guilt as your eyes took a downward glance at your body. It was as though you were seeing it again for the first time. Rather, it was like the kid within was able to see the difference from itself. "Y-Yeah. Guess... it's been a while since I've been here."
Her eyes slowly reopened as her lips tucked into a smirk. "And who's responsible for that?"
"I-I... guess me?" You shrugged and looked around as though the girls were behind you, as though Twilight would pop forward with the next problem, the next explanation, the next something to justify their arrival. But you were alone, and you have none to fall upon. "Not really many nobles to help Rarity dress up. Or planned visits from Twilight."
"I see." Celestia turned and leaned in her seat to the little table beside her. She levitated a teacup to her waiting lips, resting them on the rim, testing the heat. With a hum, she set it back. "It is unusual for you to arrive alone. I do not wish, however, for your arrival to be unusual. After all," her warm smile returned, "you are a friend."
Friend.
Was that what you were? Were you a friend like she was to Rarity, to Applejack, or even to Twilight? You were friendly and courteous in her presence. You might have exchanged a few words here and there. Beyond that, though, you had nothing to her.
But before that...
"So why are you here today?" Celestia had asked from her throne as she looked down at you from there, and suddenly, you remembered that you were supposed to bow. Dropping to your knee, you heard the angel giggle. "Is Ponyville in danger? Has Twilight Sparkle lost herself to some dark, magical book? Perhaps there is a villain that has set you to inform me of an upcoming doom?"
You rose from your need with your claws held out, hoping for them to gesture to something, but all you did was awkwardly throw them around as you spoke. "It's, uh, n-nothing like that."
Her eyes fluttered in cute, innocent, adorable confusion. Her hoof lifted to her lips and poised just below them. "Oh? Is that so? Is this a matter of official royal business, then?"
Your head shook as your claws dropped. You hummed, clearing out your throat, feeling your deep voice squeak one too many times. "N-No. Nothing like that either. Just... came to see you. That's it. Nothing more."
"You've requested the presence of a princess without further agenda for it?" Princess Celestia asked as was her right, and now you had landed exactly where logic and your fears said you'd be. However, there was no anger in that voice. "Could such an issue not have called on your friends instead?"
"I wasn't led to them."
Princess Celestia's head tilted enough for the mane to sweep off her snout, revealing her other eye. It had been tucked behind the prismatic bush, though now a fraction of it glanced at him—all for but a moment. "Led? You mean to say that something has led you here... has led you to me?"
All you could do was drop your claws, nod your head, and plan your escape. It would be strange after this. The whispering of ponies about the dragon who visited the princess without reason. Who devoured her precious time without cause. He was greedy, aloof, and the root for scorn.
"I better go," You said as you turned, beginning to walk away. "Sorry for the trouble; I'm just being silly."
"Wait."
It wasn't a command, but it was a request that encouraged respect, one that you were hopeless to decline. You stopped and wished your heart did the same. With a head lowered, you clenched your claw. It was your way of dealing with the strain.
"Before you leave," the princess had asked as hoofsteps echoed through the chamber, and the mystery caused you to turn. Afar and above, towering no matter what, the gentle mare settled down the steps of the throne. Her mane lifted off from her face, washing backward, revealing her reserved, hidden beauty.
Then her legs settled down onto the carpet, and she came to stand on the same ground as you. Even with the distance, you knew you didn't compare to her, reaching only her shoulder in height. You looked up at the goddess with a toothy expression, and she smiled down at you once more.
"Would you care for a cup of tea with me?"
This was the first question she had asked, and the first moment you did not feel compelled toward a certain answer. Everything led you to say yes. To become closer with her. You checked over your shoulder, unable to see them, but thinking of the guards.
How many of them would be given this treatment? To abuse this relationship to have tea with the most important mare in the world? They did more, they did better, and requested nothing more for it. Why should you deserve special treatment? Why had the golden gates opened for you alone?
Was there a reason, or was there nothing at all?
You nodded, and the mare did the same, closing her eyes to enhance her smile before turning around. You followed close, keeping behind her back legs and as far right of it as was reasonable. She was sunlight itself as the air was warmed as such, warming the close you drew, though you dared not to brush into her coat.
She made no mention, and the two of you retired to her chambers.
Princess Celesta held her foreleg to the door and left you no choice but to be the first that entered. Her hoofsteps followed afterward, followed by the soft click of the door. The spaciousness of the room never ceased to amaze you. It was broad: but small.
Appearing empty, but containing all that was needed.
"Why don't you have a seat? I'll get the fireplace going." You watched her walk over to the thing and bending into it—before glancing back at you. "And cross your legs! No sitting on your knees."
You laughed without knowing and, as you strolled to the table on the ground, suddenly, the memory struck. You laughed like a child at the memory of you being one. "That? I was a kid, then!"
Celestia cocked her head with a raised eyebrow. "You've stopped that filthy habit, then?"
"That's the kind of thing you're supposed to say about drinking or smoking or what-have-you!"
"Bad knees are as foul as bad liver or lungs." Celestia faced the pit as her horn ignited a match within. Slowly, the wood caught fire, and several more elevated in. "When it hurts to walk, and you can no longer jump, trust me, you'll miss them."
Her one eye then sweetly glared back at him. "And you still haven't answered my question."
You sat and crossed your legs, nodding. "I was a kid then, and I'm a kid now."
Her shoulders deflated as the fire cast a glow onto her face. The mare rose as she closed the miniature, metal gate. She walked toward the table with a shake of her head. "That'll be Twilight for you. She never really did push you on those things, did she?"
You shrugged as though it were obvious. "Course not! Friends don't really bug each other on that kind of stuff." You then dropped your shoulders. "Only a mother bugs their kid about that kind of stuff, y'know?"
That line had startled you, and although a flash of something passed over the princess, all had returned to normal. Above the fireplace, a kettle was set, warming to the beginning flames. Hopefully, it would whistle soon, and bring about an end to the silence.
"It seems as though it has been a long time since you and I were reunited under the same roof." Celestia looked at the center of the table with a smile, with half of her face covered in mane. She was still smiling. However, there was something sombre about it now. "Could you even recall it?"
You racked your mind for the answer, but found haze and blurs instead, mysterious voices that rocked dusty memories. Your eyes narrowed on the past, focusing on the abstract. "A-Alone? I... no. No. I know that there was a period where you took care of me."
You blinked, and that dispelled the memories. "But I can't recall anything beyond blurs and echoes."
Celestia smiled and shrugged. "Makes sense." Her head turned, and her horn glowed. Two cups floated from above the fireplace atop of plates, each coming before you two. "You were awfully young then. I entrusted your care into Twilight's hooves rather early."
You chuckled. "Got sick of me rather quickly, huh?" Your eyes squinted at the weak joke, and you quickly covered your tracks. "Y'know, I actually don't know much about that at all." You cleared your throat and massaged it with a claw. "I know Twilight hatched my egg. And then you took care of me. Then I was left with Twilight, though sometimes I would see you."
Celestia closed her eye and smiled. "I had to ensure you were being taken proper care of."
"Really?"
Her mouth opened to tell me words, although a short breath escaped her instead. Celestia wiggled in place and looked around the room. You did the same, looking at the walls and the ceiling, the colours of here... matching the hazes of memories.
You fixated on a corner above. One bearing the faint char that had never been erased. You chuckled, feeling the same in the past, a short, blurry thing, a memory you couldn't fully comprehend. It was recorded as a baby, so it came without any imprinting.
"What caused that?" You pointed at the mark, chuckling as you dropped your talon, but never looking away from the spot. "Were the painters too lazy to cover it?"
Celestia chuckled. "Actually." Her head turned with yours, and the two of you looked to the past. "I've rarely had this room painted for the last decade or so. The colours have kept the same. And that spot has been worked on."
The emerald branch of your soul snapped at hearing those words.
"O-Oh." You swallowed. "Makes sense."
But Celestia continued. "I had few reasons to remove that mark from the private chamber of a princess. The greatest painters came to dress the room as so. However, when it came to that burned spot, no matter how many layers of paint they applied—the scorch faintly came through."
You looked to Celestia as she looked to you, and you noticed that, for the first time, her hair was down. It no longer blew in the air. Rather, it rested lazily on her shoulders and down her back. She was smiling at you from both sides of her muzzle, and you could see her cheeks inch ever so higher.
"So... they gave up?"
"Heavens, no." Her hoof graced her chest and sunk an inch within its depths. "The painter became insulated by the mark and vowed to do everything within his power to remove it. The rest of the room had returned to normal after you had left, though this one section refused to change."
Your mouth opened a little as that was the confirmation of your memories.
"Wisdom is like karma in how it rarely comes to bluntly." Celestia turned at hearing the starting boil inside the kettle. She then glanced back at the mark. "I instructed the painter to keep it as it is."
You breathed. "It must bug you a little."
Celestia looks at you fully now. With eyes so high and a smile that was a delight. Something was calming about her expression. It was full of love, full of acceptance, someone who had become satisfied with herself. "It did at first but, after some time, it warmed me once I noticed it again."
You smiled too, and looked back down at your cup, snaking a talon through the holder and lifting it. Playing with it was all you could do, the only action that could take you away from the proximity of the conversation.
"I'm sorry I came to see you out of the blue, today."
Celestia shook her head, and then lowered her body to the floor, crossing her forelegs on the table and resting her muzzle on them. You looked over the rim of the cup to see only her eyes set on you.
"Don't be."
You smiled. Some of the guilt was gone, and the voice of anxiety did not dare to speak in the princess's proximity. You toyed with the cup some more, aware of the intent look on you, but you continued on playing.
"You said you were led here today," Celestia whispered as her eyes shone like violet suns. "Do you think you could tell me more about that?"
You weren't sure where you were supposed to be with all of this. It'd been a long, long time since you've felt so open. Celestia had that warmth, that love, that encouragement about her. You didn't need to pretend or to think about what you should say.
In her presence, the right things to say and do were to be honest and to tell the truth.
"I... went to the dragon lands earlier this month." Celestia's face flashed in surprise but then settled. She wasn't holding back either, being genuine in herself. "No Twilight. No girls to join me. I took time off work to see... the place where I was supposed to be."
You slumped forward and hung your head, and your voice deepened as it croaked. "I've always felt like I've had it easy... and I've always felt like I have it hard. I mean, I'm a dragon living among ponies... yet that never bugs me, though it stings me at times."
Your head shook. "I'm able to do more than ponies, but only because I'm different." Your lips smiled despite your sadness—or perhaps that was your way of dealing with sorrow itself. "If they were in my spot, would they be able to do better or worse? Is any of my strength owed to me, or to what I am? How would I compare against dragons?"
You shrugged. "So I took to those lands for a while." Your claw rubbed into your jaw, feeling the protruding emerald frills there. It'd been a few days since you shaved. "Worked in the mines. Got into a few fights. And I... fit in."
Something was burning at the corner of your eyes. Your throat croaked. You suppressed both, hoping they went without notice. "I wasn't great. And I wasn't terrible. I was just... average, and I was okay with that."
Celestia smiled from across the table, nodding faintly, as though... she was proud. "I'm glad you were able to put such fears to rest."
"It was tough... at first, that was."
"Indeed!" Celestia covered her mouth with a hoof as she laughed. "But as the water rises, so too does the ship! You should be careful about listening to what other ponies say—some are just mean because they can be."
"But you always worry if they're right."
"And so what? Is heeding such criticism worth the malicious intent behind it?" Off to the right, the kettle flew into view. It settled with a soft clatter onto the table, as well as little canisters surrounding it. "I understand that was a matter you had to prove to yourself, but all I wish for is that foul words not to hurt you too much."
You smiled with a nod. "Thanks. I'll... keep that in mind."
The tops floated off from the tins.
"Before you continue..." Celestia began with a hum, floating each unit before her muzzle, and inspecting the interior. "Your favourite is peppermint, and you've recently forgone sugar?"
You blinked and nodded once more. "Y-Yeah! But how did you know?"
"A..." Confidence was in her opening, but deflation had ended it early. "A princess does well to know her most loyal subjects best! That, and Twilight writes extensively about you."
Grounded herbs with pinpricks of peppermint filtered into your cup. "Really?"
"Of course she does! Your little trends and fads. How you've been developing on the farm and even your most recent trip." Her lips pushed to the side as the magic sealed the lids to the containers. "She said you left a kid... but returned as an adult. That you were quieter now. Reversed. That you did as you should and that you no longer complained."
A lavender knife jabbed your heart. "Twilight really said all of that?"
"Only out of concern."
You cupped your cup and looked into it. "W-Was Twilight... expecting you to help?"
She shook her head. "I don't believe so." The kettle floated between you, coming to tilt over your cup first, pouring the steaming water into your cup. "Twilight may be gifted with more friends now, but there are some matters you can only speak about with one. Sometimes, when problems cannot be solved, the act of having them heard is enough to settle them."
Your cup filled, and its heat was quelled against your palms. "Where did you get that from?"
"Myself." Celestia chuckled upon floating the kettle back and filling her cup. "I might be studious, but I am also capable of thinking for myself."
You flatly held up your other claw. "I would never dare make such a suggestion."
Silence settled between the two of you as your cups filled with peace; peppermint freshened your nostrils as you lifted the rim to your lips. Tiling the cup back, you risked the burn for the taste, the sweetness of freshness that cleansed as it swelled in your mouth. With a swallow, it carried down, soothing a worn throat with a sip alone.
The cup set back on the table, and you looked across to the mare.
Celestia was still perfect, still so close and still so far away, with mane not of the rainbow—but the pigments of heaven. Sitting there with an idle stare at the wall, not lost in thought, but enveloped in a sort of appreciation. There was no rush from her. He could take as long as needed to search within and express whatever he found.
Unlike the bulk of his life, the silence wasn't an enemy, and doing nothing wasn't a waste of time to her. Looking aside and over your shoulder, you breathed, given the space, time, to do that which you knew felt right. "I-I guess I shouldn't have kept her out of the loop. Or... any of the girls, for that matter."
Celestia's confused gaze slowly fell on you. "And what is that?"
"That I... that I don't feel loved."
You hadn't even known your problem, and even on hearing it, those words had sounded wrong to say. But your heart bled into your throat, and resistance was no more. "The girls love me. I know they do." You sighed. "Even if they didn't, that's okay, because there's plenty unloved out there, and they still go along fine."
You shook your head as the words raced along. "Dragons don't have much connection with their parents. No hugs or talks or anything like that. You fight, you take, and it's all a constant battle to prove yourself. You always have to be something, and you're always in the process of trying to become it."
Your head shook more and more, and though you tried to stop it, the motion of your head dealt away with a fraction of the nervous energy pumped through. Were you to stop, the tears would break, your throat would croak, and you would become a sobbing mess.
And dragons, especially grown ones, were supposed to be anything but.
"I thought that proving myself like a dragon as the rest would cause me to feel more filled, but I only came away from it more hopeless instead." Your shoulders slumped, and you collapsed over your cup, aware of the droplets you were adding to its contents. "Dragons didn't deal with love. Ponies don't treat me that way because I'm a dragon. That, and I'm too old... to be loved like that."
"To be loved like what?"
The question didn't assault him, and it didn't insult him. It didn't try to soothe him, and it didn't berate him either. It was a genuine curiosity, born from genuine concern, all from the mare that stepped a hoof closer from around the table.
"I don't even know," You admitted. "I just... I just want to feel loved." There were hoof steps from afar, but you couldn't focus on them. The world shrank, and you were imprisoned inside yourself. "Those guards out there don't need to be loved to get their work done. Much less causing trouble like I am now. Twilight loves me. I know she does. But then she says and does things that I... that I..."
Words cease as forelegs cross over your shoulders and collect within space between your crossed legs. The front of a swan sunk into your back, the thickness of a coat, flattening against your spines. They squeezed ever so slightly as something laid on the top of your head.
And then you were aware of the lips settling on your forehead.
"It's okay..." The underside of her muzzle brushed into the smoothness of your scales, every fluff of white washing over. Nuzzling into a spot she liked, Celestia settled there as her hooves tightened over your chest. "You don't have to be anything with me. Nothing at all. Allow yourself to simply be."
You choked a breath. "B-But what if I c-c-can't?"
Her muzzle tilted until her cheek laid onto your spines, snuggling against their base, leaning them to the side. Kissing your scalp, you felt the sensation to be strange... but you did not fight it. It was a boy's natural instinct to swat such things away.
"Then allow me to ease you."
You sat like that for a time as the incredible coat sank into your back; it was a divine reminder of a warm winter morning. Its thickness brushed into your scales, the swishing sound a delight on the frills. Its depth would sink into you, a snowy forest that's depths were unknown.
Just how deep did the fluff go? When would you actually begin to feel her body? Celestia was an unknown, a goddess, something more magnificent than a princess in your head. You'd always felt it... always known it. The blurs and hazes, the vague feelings she summoned from your memory.
The mare was always more, but you did your best to ignore it.
“La-la-La... la-La-la... la-la...”
The orchestra of her tongue plucked the simple notes in elegance. Her chest expanded onto your back, spreading beyond your shoulders, sinking over them. A gentle inhale, and the instruments continued.
“Mhmm-hmm-mmm... mhmm-hm-mm.... mhh-hmm-mm...”
No words. No order. No instructions. No 'top five ways to calm down', or someone about yourirrationally. No right. No wrong. Just a serene melody to slow your breath, to ease your mind, and to soothe your soul.
"Little dragon... little Spike... my only star..."
Celestia covered you in her body and infused her aura into yours. Her head floated above your own as it glanced from side to side, like a mother to her cub, ensuring all danger was fended off. There were no foes, but the gesture cast you in protection.
You wiped your eyes to feel the tears dry into the back of your claw. You'd been crying, but it had failed to burn. The soft humming of the mare was enough to release your silent strife. For a while, you cried over everything and nothing.
The gathered days of pain; the night of wallowing
The shackles of inferiority, crafted, by comparison, melted in the affection.
Fight this. You are a dragon. A grown dragon. Grow up. Decline this.
Your claw lifted from the ground from a force beyond your control. It settled on the wrist that locked over your chest. Gripping it, you tried to remove it—but held tighter instead. Holding it evoked safety, assurance, and guidance.
"Is this wrong?"
You blurted as your capacity for thought had vanished.
"Some may think so," her words came without thought as well, if only because she'd had a long time to think of everything. "But I can't think of a world that is better because there is less love in it."
Those words were valid, but did they apply to you?
"What about those dragons, those guards, everyone who can do better without it?"
"That is them," the moral came simply, "and you are you. It is not wise to speculate on that which you do not fully know." Then came the sigh, the deflating and smothering of a fluffy chest. "It seems you've focused too much on others, and neglected what your heart has been asking."
Your head shook as you slumped and pouted like a child, but Celestia leaned more into you, humming as she did so.
You spoke. "I'm a dragon... what if my heart is greedy?"
"Your heart craves love, appreciation, and acceptance." Her playful giggles softened the barrier beneath your scales. "Where is the greed in that?"
"But others deserve that more."
"And hopefully, because that is so, they will find those who will give it to them—if they don't have it already." You could feel her wink, that iota of cheekiness that bathed you in a blush. Celestia leaned back with a force on your chest, leaning you into the recess beneath her barrel. "As much as I love the world, my little dragon, I must admit that I love you a little bit more."
You looked up between fuzzy poles to the overhead tuft of her chest. Beyond that was the tease of a head, looking down at you, smiling with a tinge of a mysterious emotion. You couldn't imagine Celestia like this with anyone else, but you also wonder why it was you that she chose.
"But why?"
Now it was her turn to shy away and for her forelegs to shift in place. The incline of her tummy was a pillow arched like a bridge. Above, there was a sound, and you leaned up to place your frill against it. The sound was that of a beating heart. One that strangely lulled you.
"Because you are my boy."
You snuggled into her body without restraint or restriction as you explored the coat and everywhere it would go. Half your face disappeared into the ivory foliage of heaven, feeling the rise of a body come against your cheek. You sunk into the flesh for a moment, content to be here, to have all your emptiness be refilled.
"Here."
The forelegs crossed over your shoulders guided you to the floor, and you went with the motion, content to your surrender. Soon you were on your side, and the larger mass settled behind you. Turning within her arms, you looked up from the puffy coat, up to the face of your mother.
"Are you... my mom?"
Celestia smiled. "Only if you would like me to be."
You nodded, and she stroked your head. You blushed, but your arms stretched out, sinking and arching over her frame, sliding beneath her softness and crawling over her tallness. Your claws reached her back, and you tightened your grip, scooting closer to her.
Celestia held you as she watched from further across the ground, content to be stroking your spines, soothing out the tension within them. She was so calm, so peaceful and playful. The two of you kept together for a long while.
"Why... w-why didn't this happen sooner?"
You hadn't meant to ask such a question so soon.
Celestia slowed but did not stop her caress. "You better not be laying the blame on me, mister."
You shook your head to escape Celestia's noogie, and you chuckled once it stopped. "N-Not at all, ma'am." Your chuckles then slowed to a stop. "Just that... I didn't know if..."
"If I would be willing to care for you the way that you craved?" Celesta had asked your question for you. "That is because you're a very distant dragon. And, much like you, I do not desire to burden others with my wishes."
Her hoof reached your back, to the soreness in your muscles, how they ached from the strain of work. In drawing circles upon them, the swelling within shrunk, and heavy breaths escaped your mouth. "If you were content with the life you lived, then my nagging would not be to your benefit."
You buried your face into her warm winter to the rising smell of lemon that scents a pond. Locks of her mane were caught beneath your cheek, smoother and finer than silk. You laid together away from the fire. Just laying here like this was enough to refresh you, to refill you.
"It might seem selfish to you, Spike," Celestia said as her other hoof wrapped around your neck, setting you against her. She cradled you, watching you from beyond. "But as much as you wish to be loved, I wish that much more to lavish you in affection." She chuckled. "Loving you lets me feel like a mother, and that feeling is the best of all."
Celestia's headset over and across your own, laying next to it, keeping there like so.
The fireplace crackled as a log of wood lazily fell—rising a splash of embers. Heat infused with her coat, locking it in. The mare had become a fireplace you couldn't help but nuzzle into, which drew little, delightful giggles from her.
"We won't be able to do this often, will we?"
Celestia hummed. "Our worlds might be apart, but that is no excuse not to write a letter."
You chuckled.
Your eyes closed, and your head rose and fell to the rise and falls of the mare's chest. You weren't perfect. You couldn't live up to your own expectations. You explored the world for more, to see what the rest of your kind was like—and how you were supposed to be.
But none of that saved you. Nothing helped you. It was only in the silence of your mind, in the ceasing of thinking—did you take to the feeling. It led you to a castle once your home, and a mare once your mother. In risking your weakness, she soothed it over, and would do so forevermore.
Regardless of what the world did, or how you turned out, there would always be a mother to return to. Someone that would listen and offer what your hurting soul needed. Twilight could give you answers to your problems, but Celestia would provide you with the necessary love and affection to go on.
And hopefully, you could make her feel something of the same in return.
To think...
...you didn't even need to ask for love.
