Forty Two

by TCC56

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance
Length: 2902

Twilight asks: What is the meaning of an immortal life?

In a shared dreamscape, Twilight asks her fellow immortals: what gives meaning to an endless life?

Featured 08/05/2021 - 08/07/2021!

Published 2021-08-05 19:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-05 19:40:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Twilight looked around the room at her fellows - beings outside of time all. The flickering light of the fireplace cast their expressions into dark relief as they all enjoyed a drink in the quiet of the cabin within the quiet of the woods within the quiet within the most remote wilderness within the haze of dreams.

The cabin was the Platonic ideal of a log cabin in the middle of nowhere: cozy, warmed by a crackling fireplace, stocked well with plush chairs and rustic wood furniture. Outside the nearest source of light was the stars, and the woods that surrounded them were alive with crickets and night birds. Various drinks lay around - from a bottle of wine in a small ice bucket to a tea kettle in a knit beige cozy - as did a variety of light snacks of a dozen stripes. In short, it was the perfect end to a lazy day away from the hustle and bustle of Canterlot - deep into the sleepy night. Just the right chance for a group of immortals to relax and have a chat once they were all settled.

But Twilight wasn't in the mood for light conversation - the thoughts on her mind were heavy, and that meant the conversation was going to be as well. It was why they were gathered, after all.

"What," she started, "Do our lives mean?"

The words were a hammerblow that broke their silent wait. All four of the others turned to their youngest member with curiosity, waiting for her to elaborate.

Twilight took a breath before clarifying her question. "We live forever. We're eternal. Normally a pony will measure their life in milestones and achievements, trying to reach their deathbed able to say it was a life well lived. We can't, because we'll never be there - we have no end point. So does that change how we find meaning?"

The first to answer was Discord - ever impulsive, unable to be restrained even as he lounged slightly above an overstuffed easy chair.. "Life is joy," he declared, looking thoughtfully into his illogical mug of mocha marmalade. "And I am an endless party."

Turning to him, the other four waited to let him speak his piece. As ever himself, Discord was more than happy to keep talking. "We have infinite moments and each one is given meaning by what we do. So - the purpose is to enjoy those moments as much as we possibly can."

The draconequus paused to sip his impossible drink. "Once I would have claimed it was only my moments that counted, but now I know that was a mistake. But it doesn't change the truth - what meaning we have is from enjoying those moments. Short, long, mortal, infinite - that doesn't matter. It's joy. Fun. Making the most out of each second we have."

He held the finger of his paw over the mug and then squeezed his own thumb down with a third hand, causing a refill to dispense out of the fingertip and top his drink off. "Mortals do it to make the most out of every moment of their lives. Just because we have more moments doesn't mean we should squander them."

The other four nodded silently, giving one more chance for Discord to continue. But it seemed he was finished - judging both by his silence and the smug look on his face.

So it was Cadance who voiced her opinion next. "Life," she started, "Is your legacy. I am the light in a newborn foal's eyes as they see the world that has been created for them." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "Every creature leaves an indelible impact on those around it through their actions, deeds and works. The world as it is relies on that legacy, and even the smallest actions can lead to great things."

Cadance sipped her wine before holding the glass up to examine in the firelight. "A stallion gives a slightly larger than normal tip when he buys his morning coffee on the way to work. That makes the barista smile brighter. That smile inspires a musician busking outside, who writes it into one of his songs. That song gets played in the park during a couple's date, giving them the excuse to kiss. Their eventual foal grows up and saves a pony's life because they learned CPR - and in turn, the pony saved invents a new medicine that saves a million lives. All because somepony paid a half-bit extra for their coffee."

On the other side of the room, Discord chuckled. "Such an amazingly unlikely string of events. I thought chaos was my territory."

"Unlikely but every day has a million such occurrences." Cadance didn't budge on that. "To create the world as we know it requires a string of countless coincidences and unlikely events stretching back to the beginning of time. We all create our legacy that way - by making a mark on the world, even a small one."

She turned her head to Twilight. "And it's the same for us as it is for mortals. Just because we'll see the results of our legacy doesn't make it mean less. Is a child lesser just because their parent is around to watch them grow? Does the painter's work only evoke beauty after they've died?" Cadance shook her head. "The one thing Discord and I agree on is that there's no difference between what life means to us and what it means to mortals. We just have the luxury of more time to create and the opportunity to see first-hoof what our actions bring about a dozen generations later."

"I disagree," chimed in Celestia. The others quieted as she began to speak. "Our existence is not merely a mortal one stretched out - we are entirely different. The things we have seen; do see; will see - they're not a perspective that any mortal could comprehend."

The room's attention came to her - to her chair by the crackling fire that paled before The Sun Incarnate. Celestia languidly set her teacup aside and instead picked up the now empty popcorn bowl. Then, solemnly, she began. "Life is my little ponies."

Discord started snickering, and quietly continued even when they glared at him.

"I am a bowl in a storm," Celestia continued in spite of the interruption. She held up the popcorn bowl, showing it off as a demonstration. Her horn lit as well, pulling a single droplet of condensation from the side of the wine bottle. "I myself am empty, but each life I encounter is a raindrop. They fall from the sky, live for a brief moment, and then strike the ground and vanish forever." The droplet she had collected hovered in the air, catching the warm firelight in it. "But each one is beautiful - if you look at a raindrop closely, it carries with it a million colors. Each one brings life to the world around it - nourishing the earth and all that grows. And while each drop is miniscule compared to the scale of the world, together they can wear down any mountain and wash away any obstacle."

The tiny droplet fell from her magic, disappearing into the comparatively massive bowl. "The bowl, to have meaning, must be filled. And each raindrop does so until the bowl is overflowing with life and beauty. Each drop is individually fleeting - absorbed into the earth where it falls; running through a stormdrain to join a river that will join the sea; caught in a container where it will eventually evaporate. But combined, they are what give our lives meaning - even if they are part of it only briefly."

Setting aside the bowl and picking her teacup once more, Celestia concluded her lecture. "We are nothing like a mortal, but at the same time they are what give us substance and form. Without them, we would be empty shells."

Beside her, Luna snorted.

Celestia raised a questioning eyebrow. "Your opinion differs, sister?"

"Dramatically," was the Moon's reply.

Obligingly, Celestia motioned with her teacup to pass the opening to her sister.

Luna needed no allowance to begin. "Life is creation. I am a painting at each step of its development - from blank canvas to final work. I understand why you have your opinion, sister, but I cannot agree with it. If companionship was required, I would not have survived a thousand years without it."

Celestia flinched.

Appeasingly, Luna reached over and put her hoof on her sister's. "Apologies for the bluntness." Then she turned herself back to the topic proper. "Like Cadance, I believe that the value is in what we create - though not things as ephemeral as a butterfly's wings altering the path of a hurricane. Nor do I agree that it is the length of our achievements that make it of value."

She levitated another marshmallow over, dropping it into her hot chocolate. "She asks - does the painter's work only evoke beauty after they have died? And to that I reply that the truth is the opposite: the work is lesser without the artist. One may enjoy listening to a symphony, but little compares to the pride at having composed one. And creating is more than simple joy," she remarked with a glance toward the smug Discord. "A work can evoke a great range of emotions - from depression to wistfulness to fear - and so the creator can feel much the same."

"But," interrupted Cadance, "Why do you say the art means less without the one that created it? Surely a poem will still move hearts a hundred years after it's written."

Luna nodded her head slightly. "It would. But it is the heart closest to it that could not be moved any longer. There is a bond between an artist and their work that no observer can replicate. One who listens to a symphony can appreciate it, but they did not pour their very soul into its creation. By their nature they are more distant." She turned her head to look at each of the others in slow turn. "But do not think for a moment I speak only of finer side. A plumber is as much an artist as a sculptor - their work is about efficiency and precision more than grace and beauty, but they still create something and at the end look upon it with pride. The schoolteacher sees their creations trot from the classroom each day and feels much the same."

"It is the act of creation which gives our lives value," Luna declared. "Moreso for us than mortals. We surround ourselves with such creations and our attachments to them are what give us substance. The length of our lives provides the luxury of time to master a hundred disciplines and fill our lives with that which we create. Each creation filled with emotions and memories that both anchor us and give us life."

Finishing with a sip of her cocoa, Luna looked to the youngest of their cadre that had started the conversation. "You have heard our thoughts. What do you name yourself, Twilight Sparkle?"

There was silence for a long, long moment before Twilight spoke. "I… I want to say 'I am friendship' but friendship is…"

"Drops of water within a bowl," Celestia said.

"Joy," pronounced Discord.

"A legacy to eternity," was Cadance's declaration.

"The truest of arts," Luna stated.

Twilight shook her head. "All of them. But also none of them. Each of those ideas is a part of it, but my friends, they're…" She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "They're extensions of me. Not having one of them around is like missing a hoof. I'm incomplete." Her face fell, frown deepening.

Reaching over, Celestia touched her wing to Twilight's shoulder. "But they're mortal and you are not. There will be a day that dawns without them. That cannot be changed."

Cadance cut in, placatingly taking over. "If they're so close to you, Twilight, why wouldn't you ask them for their thoughts too? Maybe they can give an answer."

"I did." Twilight sighed, slumping a little bit. "They said--"

"Allow me." Luna lit her horn, magic grasping the dreamstuff around them to help the Bearers speak for themselves.

First was Applejack's orange form, swirling into existence beside Cadance. The farmer leaned on an unseen fence - real when the question had been asked, gone now from the phantasm. "Well, way Ah see it? Can't answer anything but family. Sure, the land might be where we make our livin', but it's in the foals - ours or the ones belonging' to the cousins and such - that really give us meanin'. They're what carries into the future, y'know?"

Pale yellow feathers formed beside Celestia as Fluttershy came to be. "Oh, it's absolutely all my little friends. The way they all depend on me and enrich my life - I couldn't imagine my life without them."

Pinkie Pie less phased into being and more popped out of the ether under Discord's floating form. "Making ponies happy, of course! Well, not just ponies. Griffons and yaks and hippogriffs and changelings and all the other creatures, too! Helping them smile is what I live for!"

"It's about creation, darling." Rarity's voice was there before her image appeared by Luna. "The occasional vacation is nice, yes, but I always feel as though I'm not entirely myself without a sketch pad or a needle in my grasp. So I would have to say that if something gave me meaning, it would be that imagination and what I can make of it."

A subtle cloud formed into Rainbow Dash, lounging over Twilight's head. "I dunno." The pegasus shrugged. "Never really thought about it. I'm way more about living in the moment." She paused. "You gonna finish those hayfries?"

Twilight reached up and batted at Rainbow, dispersing the phantasmal image.

Discord broke out into snickering. "It's funny how well they mirror us."

"But not helpful." Twilight slumped in her overstuffed chair. "I'm no closer to an answer."

Three alicorns hung their heads, lacking a better response.

Discord loudly scoffed.

"Ponies," he quipped. "Always so set on finding a single answer." He reached out, giving Twilight a nudge on the chin to look up at him. "You have an answer now. So what if that answer changes in fifty or a hundred years? The world is chaos, after all! What is true today might not be true tomorrow - if it's actually true at all. Maybe the truth right now is that there isn't an answer. There won't be one until next month or whatever." He shrugged several more shoulders than he should have reasonably had. "It's not like you can stop time until you figure it out."

Twilight half-rose from the chair in protest. "But Rarity--"

Discord cut her off with a claw on her lips. Not one attached to his body, just a spare. "Shh." He reached over to the phantasmal Rarity and plucked a single hair from her mane - a grey one. Then he leaned over to the image of Fluttershy and did the same - another grey. Holding the two up, he smiled a sad, thin smile at Twilight. "I know."

Twilight sagged.

"Perhaps an answer tomorrow," Discord reiterated with an uncharacteristic somber tone.

"And perhaps the answer is unimportant." Luna set her now empty mug down. "What matters is that we have an answer that satisfies us more than what that answer actually is. That we have meaning at all."

Twilight shifted, uneasy on her hooves. "But…"

Gently, Cadance got up to hug her sister-in-law, wrapping Twilight in her wings. "We've given you what help we can. Finding your meaning is something only you can do. I just hope our perspectives will help a little." She hesitated. "It's… not easy. If it's anything like what I had to confront, it will be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. It will hurt. And like any serious wound, it will leave a scar."

Inside the shelter of Cadance's wings, Twilight shivered. "I'm afraid."

"I know." Cadance held her tighter. "It's going to be hard. But we'll all help you as best we can."

"Every step along the way," Celestia added quietly.

Twilight nodded, eyes tightly closed.

From her seat, Luna tilted her head. "Dawn approaches, I fear." She turned to the youngest Princess. "This time is up, but do not hesitate to seek us out further, dear Twilight. Individually or as a group, we will be there."

Taking a long, deep breath, Twilight steadied herself. "I… thank you. I will."

And one by one they blinked out as they awoke. Celestia first, to eagerly greet a dawn she didn't need to raise. Discord, leaving behind a cheshire smile. Cadance, fading out even as she held the embrace. And finally Luna as she allowed the shared dream to fade.

Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes. The sun was still down, but she didn't need it. The sleeping pony beside her was burned into her essence. She reached out, stroking her love's cheek gently.

In the final dark moments of the night, she silently lit her horn and lifted the sun.

Author's Note

A special thanks to Bicyclette, who's Limerence put the initial seeds of this brainworm into my mind.