Berry Punch in the Big City

by bahatumay

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Slice of Life, Berry Punch
Length: 11146

Redheart suggested that vampony Berry Punch take a break. It isn't working...

Berry Punch is not a bad pony. Her cutie mark, after all, is for mixing drinks, not consuming them. But sometimes, things change.
For example, having your husband die. Or being turned into a vampony.
Now Berry Punch has to deal with being in a new city much bigger than her hometown, trying to provide for herself and her daughter, trying to hold down a job and make a living, and trying to not get exposed as a vampony.
....Stay thirsty, my friends?

Published 2012-09-09 05:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-30 02:09:22 UTC

Prologue

Prologue: Two years earlier.

Berry Punch stumbled down the streets.

What.... what happened to her?

She stumbled down an alley, drunk more with fear than alcohol, a massive headache pounding in her head.

Of course, the headache part wasn't all too singular an experience. What had happened before, though....

The last thing she remembered, she was drinking in the graveyard. When she had come to, it was dark, except for a pony, cloaked in a dark cloak....

Berry Punch shook her head at the redundancy in her own recollection, and then regretted it instantly as her head swam.

"I'm sorry," the stranger had said.

Sorry for what?

But for some reason, she had been afraid. And so she ran.

She slipped, possibly in a puddle, possibly because she was drunk. She fell against a broken fence, and her fall was halted by a broken, sharp, metal pole, sticking out at a very inconvenient angle.

It penetrated her ribs. She screamed in pain.

Pinchy.... What would happen to her?

Berry Punch knew she was dying. Poor Pinchy.... if only she would get a second chance, she would show her some more love, be a better mother, maybe loosen up a bit.... Ruby did know that Berry loved her, right? Right?

Berry sighed, and waited for the inevitible.

Which should have come a while ago.

Berry looked down. She was still very much alive, in a manner of speaking.

She did the logical thing: she stood up, and pulled herself off of the fence. It stung like no other, but luckily she still had some alcohol in her system. At least, she thought she did.

She looked down at her side. There were not even any scars. And the pain was.... fading?

Am I THAT hammered? Berry Punch briefly wondered.

She decided to walk home, because when things got this crazy, it was best to just sleep. She stepped outside, picked a random direction, and started walking.

Luck was on her side, apparently, because she quickly realized where she was. After a few minutes of walking, she headed up to her house and walked inside.

At least, that was the plan.

She couldn't cross the doorstep. She saw it, saw that it was open, but whenever she tried, it was like there was something blocking her. The door was open, she didn't feel drunk, but her hoof just wouldn't go in the doorway, like there was a glass pane there or something.

Berry Punch was very confused. She scanned the streets, not noticing how well she could see because of her confusion.

Suddenly, the cloaked figure was there again.

Berry screamed in fright, and backed against the door, trying to get inside.... but it felt as though the door was shut, even though it wasn't.

What had she been drinking? And why couldn't she think of another way to describe the door situation? (1)

The mare stepped back, and lifted one yellow hoof and lowered her head down to show submissiveness. "I'm so sorry," she repeated.

"Wh.... who are you?" Berry stammered.

"I'm a nopony. I'll be gone in five minutes. Point me towards the next town, and you'll probably never see me again."

"Who are you?" Berry repeated.

The mare laughed hollowly as she removed her hood, showing a yellow face with sky blue eyes that seemed like they were... missing something. Her dirty brown mane was unkempt at best, but it looked natural on her and fit her well. "I have used many names.... I think the one my mother gave me had something to do with Sunshine."

"How do you not know?"

The mare jumped that question. "I'm sorry...." she repeated.

"For what?"

"I almost killed you. You were so drunk, and I was so thirsty, I didn't even think you would mind. I didn't think anypony would miss you. It was so, so hard.... I wandered through the Everfree Forest, lost for weeks, but even for somepony like me, it's not a pleasant place. I was lost, and so thirsty...."

"Heh.... We both got that problem, sister," Berry Punch said.

Sunshine might have cracked a smile. "We do now, that's for sure. I didn't think anypony would notice if you mysteriously disappeared—you were drunk, you wandered into the Everfree, your body wasn't found until it was too late to tell what had happened to you, but when you started talking, you mentioned Pinchy. I asked more. She's your daughter, and you love her very much."

Berry's eyes narrowed at this stranger mentioning her daughter. "I don't know who you are, or what you're doing here...."

"Then please let me finish," the strange mare interrupted. "By then, I had taken so much blood, I was just so thirsty, animal blood just doesn't cut it (2), I couldn't help it. I couldn't let your filly be abandoned.... so I did the only thing I knew how to do to make sure you wouldn't die." She took a breath, as if confessing a major indiscretion. "I turned you."

"Turned me?" The thought, 'But I like stallions....' briefly flashed across the mare's mind.

"I'm so sorry. I know you didn't seek this out. I did. I wanted revenge.” She paused. “I don't know why I'm telling you this. You're never going to see me again.”

“Tell me anyway,” Berry said, interest thoroughly piqued.

Sunshine sighed, but relented. “My parents were murdered, abandoning me and leaving me alone. I... I couldn't let that happen to Pinchy. Look what that did to me.”

“You put on a dark cloak and became the poster pony for stalkers?” Berry asked cheekily.

Wait.

Berry's eyes widened in shock. Where had that retort come from? She hadn't had that snappy a comeback since... not since he had died and she had started drinking.

Sunshine might have cracked a smile at that, too, ignorant of the gears turning in Berry's head. “I wanted revenge. I became a vampony. I traded fifteen minutes of revenge for a lifetime of misery, fear, and thirst." She licked her lips. “And now I've done the same to you. I'm so, so sorry.”

Now thoroughly confused (and quickly losing what little patience she had left), Berry growled. "Why do you keep saying that?"

Sunshine looked up sadly. "You don't know? Can't you see how fast you ran back there? How well you can see in the dark? You retched as you passed the bakery—they are running a sale on garlic bread. I watched you stab yourself on accident—that would have killed any normal pony, but you landed on metal, not wood. You can't even get back inside your own house, because you need permission from a mortal pony who lives there to even come in."

"I am a mortal pony who lives there!"

"Not anymore." Sunshine stepped forward, blue eyes meeting purple. "Berry Punch...."

The purple eyes glared. "How do you know my name?"

Sunshine sighed and rolled her eyes. "You are a very blabby drunk."

"Oh. Right."

"Berry Punch.... Welcome to the herd of vamponies."

Chapter 1--The Proposal

Derpy Hooves set down the package at the front door.

She checked her watch. Ahead of schedule! It was a good day. And since it was Saturday, it would be a short day. Perhaps even a muffin day!

She happily bounced down the stairs.... and ran right into Berry Punch.

Who was, of course, completely trashed at ten in the morning on a Saturday.

Berry Punch grabbed Derpy's head in between her hooves, her own eyes more unfocused than Derpy's. "Nurse Redheart?" she asked.

"No, silly filly. I'm Derpy!" Derpy proudly proclaimed.

Berry Punch visibly deflated, but recovered quickly. "That's ok... You're pretty cute, too," she said, leaning in for a drunken kiss. Derpy could smell the alcohol emanating from the mare, and quickly decided on an alternate course of action.

Flee!

She literally flew as fast as she could towards the center of town, heading for the clinic.

Berry Punch resumed shouting. "You can't just love me and leave me!" she whined, as she half walked, half stumbled after the quickly departing mailmare. "I thought we had something!"

*  *  *

Berry Punch stumbled into the clinic, where Derpy had just finished explaining the situation to Nurse Tenderheart.

Berry Punch prodded Derpy. "You're still cute," Berry mumbled, as she slid up next to her and leaned on the counter. She turned to Tenderheart. "When's Redheart back?"

Tenderheart, showing all the professionalism of her older white counterpart, did not acknowledge the stench of alcohol or Berry's brusqueness, but instead smiled brightly. "Oh, she's at the school right now, she got called in for a quick situation at the talent show practice, but I think we could squeeze you in right now?"

"Nah, I'mma wait for her," Berry said, or rather, slurred. She walked back into the waiting room, and promptly collapsed on a chair. She turned towards the little green filly staring at her. "Wha'chu lookin' at?”

The filly quickly returned to her blocks.

Tenderheart looked at the mailmare. "She's made progress, but Redheart's still the only one she trusts," she said, by way of explanation.

Derpy nodded, then gasped in horror at the clock. "I'm late!" she cried, darting towards the door, hitting the wall, and knocking off a wall plaque before escaping.

Tenderheart smiled. Another normal day in Ponyville.

*  *  *

Redheart walked in to the clinic, mumbling under her breath.

"Broken wing, already underdeveloped, covered in tree sap--and they were indoors! It was an indoor practice! How is that even possible? What is this I don't even..."

"Oh, Nurse Redheart, Berry Punch is here to see you."

"Somepony say my name?" And Berry Punch quickly transferred herself from laying on the chair to.... well, she attempted to stand, but ended up faceplanting on the floor. She pushed herself up. "Can I see you, like, right now? It's kindof important."

Redheart looked at who was next. Fluttershy dropped her gaze and hid her wrapped hoof. "It's nothing, really... she can go first."

Redheart decided that whatever the vampony had to say, it was very important, because normally she wouldn't try to roll over waiting patients like that. Even vamponies have hearts.

Kindof. In a metaphorical sense, of course.

*  *  *

Inside the office, Redheart looked at Berry Punch. "Well?"

Berry Punch still kept on the loopy smile, but her eyes.... they were wildly trying to communicate something....

Oh, right.

Redheart quickly cast the muting spell.

No sooner had she finished than Berry Punch slammed her against the wall. Her eyes were desperate. "You gotta help me!" she said.

"All right, with what?" If nothing else, Redheart prided herself for her professionalism under all circumstances.

"It's the most terrible thing imaginable!"

"All right, Rose, out with it," Redheart smiled.

"I wanted to feed on Pinchy last night!"

Redheart blinked, the smile completely gone from her face. Whatever she had been expecting, that wasn't it. Berry had repeatedly sworn—sometimes accentuating every word with an angry hoof in Redheart's face—that she would never drink from her daughter, and having her admit to having this thought meant something was wrong.

"You...."

Berry Punch repeated herself, accentuating each phrase. "I wanted. To feed. On Pinchy. I went into her room, watched her sleep, listened to her blood, the filly...." Her voice cracked. "She smiled in her sleep and snuggled herself deeper in the covers. It should have been so cute. And all I thought was, I bet I can get some blood without even waking her up."

Redheart removed herself from Berry's grasp and, using her magic, lifted her on top of the table. She quickly retrieved a blood bag. "Ok, the first thing you are going to do is drink this."

"I'm not thirsty," Berry Punch said, waving a hoof dismissively.

Redheart's eyes narrowed. "Drink it."

"Not. Thirsty," Berry maintained.

"Drink it."

"No."

"Drink it."

*  *  *

In the waiting room, Ruby Pinch was playing. Having woken up, she found herself alone, but breakfast already made. Correctly assuming that her mom would be at the clinic with Redheart, she had walked here herself, and Tenderheart had told her to make herself at home. Which, considering how often she was here, wasn't an entirely foreign thought.

"It's nice that mom has a friend to help her stop drinking," Pinchy thought happily, as she helped the green filly from earlier put the finishing touches on her block house.

*  *  *

"Drink it."

"No."

"Drink it."

"Fly off."

"Drink it."

Redheart had pushed her too far. One moment, the nurse was standing in the middle of her office; the next thing she knew, she had been forced up against the wall, with the visage of an enraged Berry Punch filling her view.

“No! I am Berry Punch! I mix drinks, and I do a freaking good job of it! I am a good pony! I do NOT need blood! I am NOT a freak! I am NOT a monster!”

Redheart kept her voice steady as best she could, even as black spots swam in the edges of her vision and she struggled for breath. “Says the pony currently choking out her only confidant?”

There was a brief pause, and then recognition and horror crossed Berry's face as she realized what she was doing. Stunned, she dropped Redheart and stumbled backwards. She knocked over a stand of medical tools, tripped, and fell on her back amid a shower of metal. She groaned sadly. “What is wrong with me?” she asked, somewhat rhetorically, as she rolled to her belly and buried her face in her hooves.

Redheart massaged her bruised neck gently, before walking over to Berry, kneeling down, and wrapping a forearm tenderly around the distraught earth pony. “You're trying to avoid what you are. I've been watching you, Berry. These past few weeks you've been drinking less and less. You've been staying out in the sun more often, and you've been drinking only one bag a session for these past two weeks when you used to go for three, sometimes even four. That's like trying to run a race without getting enough sleep, or trying to make a plant grow without water. Your body just can't take it. You just need to give your body what it needs.” She found the dropped blood bag with her magic, lifted it up to Berry's front, and tore the corner off for her. With a look of utter defeat on her face, Berry slowly reached for it, took hold of it, pulled it shakily to her lips, and began to drink.

Redheart watched. She listened. She heard the moan of satiation that Berry Punch tried to hide, she saw how her ears went back in ecstasy, she noticed that her hips shifted as her whole body relaxed. Redheart lay silently, not moving as Berry drained the bag. When it was empty, Berry Punch set it down, only to see another waiting in front of her with the corner removed. Moving slowly, reluctantly, almost dream-like, she reached out, took hold of the bag, brought it to her lips, and began to drink again. So, too, with the third bag Redheart gave her, and the fourth. On the fifth, she began to slow, but she did empty the bag.

Redheart kept her foreleg firmly around Berry protectively. “Berry...”

“Don't say anything,” Berry said, dropping the empty bag in disgust.

“I'm proud of you.”

“...what?”

“You kept in control last night.”

“Control. Yeah.” Berry was less than convinced.

Redheart began rubbing her back comfortingly and spoke gently. “You could have fed on Ruby. Your body certainly wanted to. But you didn't. You can stay in control. But you can't squash these instincts any more than I can stop myself from sleeping, or keep a pegasus from flying, or stop ourselves from wanting company.” Redheart smiled wryly. “So civilized... and we still have a herd mentality.” Redheart paused as an idea occurred to her.

Berry snuggled closer to Redheart, who dutifully leaned in closer. “I'm still worried about slipping further,” she confessed.

Redheart thought for a moment. “Maybe you need a vacation.”

Berry raised an eyebrow. “Because wandering around, not working, pretending to be drunk, crashing into things and swatting ponies on the flank isn't vacation-y enough?”

Redheart might have suppressed a smile. “Not quite what I meant... You know we were previously herd beings, right?”

Berry briefly debated making the obvious pun, but finally decided against it in favor of another. “That's where every pony was a part of a gang, right? Their own Little Pony Pandilla,”

Redheart raised an eyebrow. “I'm surprised you know that word.”

Berry shrugged. “Eh, you meet a lotta different ponies as a bartender.”

Redheart conceded this point, and continued. “Well, every time a pony would move, she had to re-enter the herd, re-evaluate her life, re-figure out where she stood. Basically, she had to find herself again.”

“So...?”

“Maybe you need to find yourself again.”

Berry sat up, looked down at her plum coloring, and poked herself experimentally. She looked up at Redheart with a playfully sarcastic salute. “One blood-drinking freak found, sir!”

Redheart skipped over this. “You could go move to a different city for the summer. Just for something a little different, something to shock your system. You may find it will help.”

“I 'may' find?” Berry's voice was flat. “You want me to uproot my life--”

“Just for the summer," Redheart comforted.

“--on something that may not even help?”

“It might not... but it might. At least give it some thought, all right?”

Berry breathed out in an attempt to calm herself. "All right. I'll think about it." She stood up to leave.

"Um, Berry?" Redheart said.

Berry looked back to find Redheart staring at her flank. She gave it a cheeky wiggle. "Like what you see?"

"I'm going to need my tools back."

Berry looked back to see various metal tools--all of them quite sharp-looking--sticking out of her body, remnants of her run-in with the stand earlier. "Huh," she said. "Didn't notice that."

*  *  *

Applejack trotted through the trees. It may have been dark outside, but she had a lantern; and besides, she knew her land and she knew her trees, and so didn't have any problems navigating. It was an earth pony thing.

She slowed as she felt foreign eyes on her. She scanned the dark treeline, but saw nothing.

“I know yer out there,” she said around the handle in her mouth. “Show yerself, or do Ah have t' come and get you mahself?”

Only a brief rustling answered her, and then a flash of movement retreating deeper into the orchard.

Applejack shrugged. “Too fast fer a pony.” She dropped the lantern quickly to call out another challenge. “Tha's right, ya better run, ya thievin' varmint! If'n I catch you swipin' any of our apples, yer' gonna get bucked into next week!”

She picked up the lantern again, and, with her head held high, she returned back towards home.

Berry Punch listened to her go from her hiding spot in a tree. She released a breath she had been holding, even though her vampony body hadn't needed air for a few years now and could easily have gone another year sans breathing.

She walked slowly through the orchard, less cautiously now that she knew that she was alone. She walked until she found a deeper area, with old, thick trees.

The history of Equestrian worship is an interesting subject, having its origins even further back than the unification of the tribes. While pegasi praised the bringer of the sky, and the unicorns the Source of all magic, the earth ponies communed with the earth mother. She was their grounding source, their foundation in times of trouble. Princess Celestia may have claimed to be the embodiment of all three races, but she was accepted as a demigod by the earth ponies only after their observation of her solid, calm demeanor and ability to tranquilly defuse volatile situations.

But before that, all earth ponies communed with the Earth Spirit, the strange force that somehow connected, but was one with, every earthy thing. Somehow it could answer questions and give guidance, to be a better part of the circle that was existence.

Of course, no one had practiced such things for many years. And, in all honesty, Berry Punch wasn't sure what she believed anymore. Turning into a being you only knew from myths and legends will do that to a pony. But frankly, she wasn't sure what to do, and it couldn't hurt to try.

After all, if you become a thing of myths, why not try to see if the other myths are true as well?

She leaned forward and dug her hooves into the ground, not stopping until she was forehoof deep in the earth. She felt the ground, breathed in its scent, and attempted to become one with it.

Half an hour later, she straightened up. Strange as it was, she now felt that she knew what to do.

Her only issue now would be convincing Ruby Pinch to take a summer vacation away from home.

Chapter 2--Last Day in Ponyville

Berry Punch crouched in a tree, one ear cocked to hear the conversation between the two fillies across the schoolyard. Superb hearing happened to be perk number six on her list, and she was using it to her full advantage.

It had taken a bit of getting used to, but Berry Punch had pretty much adapted to her new life. Well, you know, aside from the trying to fight off her instincts and almost losing control of herself and nearly draining her daughter last night. But hey. Everypony has issues.

“So mommy says we're going to move for the summer,” one said. That voice came from Pinchy.

“For the whole summer?” another asked. That voice was Dinky, Ruby's close friend.

“Yeah,” Ruby said.

“The whole summer?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow... I'm gonna miss you, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I- The whole summer seems like a long time. I don't know what else to say...”

Berry heard the sound of fur rubbing against fur as Ruby nuzzled Dinky. “It's not that long, and we'll still have time to play after I get back.”

“But why do you have to go?”

“I don't really know... but if it helps Mommy, then I'm all for it.”

Had Berry Punch still had functioning tear ducts, she probably would have started crying right there. Such a good little filly... she didn't deserve this... none of this....

Her reverie was interrupted by a questioning voice. “Berry Punch?”

Except for Berry, who had been using her ears and listening intensely, it sounded a bit more like, "BERRY PUNCH?"

Had she still had blood running through her body, her ears would probably have started bleeding. She shook her head—her pain tolerance was higher than normal, but she could still feel pain, how fair was that?—and looked down to see Twilight Sparkle, looking at her with a very curious expression.

Berry quickly adopted her normal persona, and looked down at her with mild annoyance, her head swaying slightly as she 'tried' to keep Twilight in focus. “No need t' shout, 'm right here.”

The unicorn cracked a smile. “I didn't. What are you doing in tree?” Twilight asked.

“'m not inna tree,” Berry slurred.

Twilight tried hard to keep a straight face. “Yes, Berry. Yes you are.”

Berry Punch lifted herself up to look down at Twilight. “Maybe it's because I'm secretly a bucking fird! I'm a fird!” She emphasized this statement by flapping her forelegs emphatically. “You ever think of that, Miss Smartie McSmarterpantses?”

Twilight shook her head. “Berry... you're drunk.”

Berry slunk back down to her branch again and lay her head on her hooves. “No'm not.”

“Yes, Berry... yes you are. I'll help you out of the tree.”

“Toldja. Not inna tree!” As she said this, Berry let herself slip off the branch, and hit the ground. If she'd set that up right, she should land with no...

-crack-

...problem... Berry Punch grit her teeth as pain shot through her left foreleg, and had to swallow more than a few choice curse words. It was definitely broken. Temporarily, anyway.

“Berry! Are you ok? I heard something breaking! Don't move!”

“'m fine,” Berry mumbled.

Twilight held her down in her magic. “You're not going anywhere until I look at that.”

Berry Punch shrugged as best she could.

Twilight levitated her up to get a better view of the breaking point. She examined her left foreleg... and to her surprise, found nothing wrong. The bone was in perfect working order. Twilight stared, very surprised.

“Toldja I was fine,” Berry said. “Now pu' me down. Makin' me sick.”

Still in mild shock, Twilight gently set Berry down, whereupon she was assaulted by a young unicorn filly.

“Mommy! Mommy! I saw you fall from the tree! Are you ok?” Ruby asked, running up to her mother.

Berry ruffled Ruby's mane with a hoof. “'m perfec'ly fine. Jus' right 'n' dandy.”

Twilight was still in mild shock. She knew what she had seen and heard, and this was just illogical. “You're... very lucky, Berry.”

Berry Punch pulled Ruby in close for a tight cuddle, and Ruby returned the affection with a gentle nuzzle. “I am the mother of the greatest filly in the whole freakin' world. Yes, I'm lucky.”

Ooh, the irony of that simple statement.... it would have broken her heart if hers had still been working.

“We'd prolly better go pack, huh?” Ruby asked.

Berry shook her head. “We got time... you can play a while longer.”

With that, Ruby ran off, and Twilight returned to whatever it was she was doing. Berry leaned up against the tree, making very certain that she didn't poke herself with any splinters. Sure, they would be too small to do any real harm; but even so, wooden splinters were very painful and were no laughing matter.

She unfortunately had learned that lesson from first-hoof experience, by opening a cask of amontillado.

Pulling out one of many bottles of hard liquor that she carried everywhere, she watched the two fillies play for another half hour or so. They seemed to be having a great time, and Berry Punch felt a twinge of guilt. Was she putting her filly through something she couldn't do herself? Was she, in effect, punishing Ruby for Berry's own faults?

These deep thoughts were interrupted by a derisive call of “Blank flanks!”

Berry Punch gave herself a mantra and tried to keep her face as goofy as normal as she pulled the bottle closer. I am a drunk pony. I am a drunk pony. I am a drunk pony. I am a drunk pony...

“Wow. Still no mark, eh? No real surprise there.”

“I know,” Silver Spoon added, like a good lackey. “What a waste of space.”

Berry Punch would never kill another pony, and heaven forbid that pony be a foal. However, pretending for a moment that it were some theoretical alternate universe in a hypothetical situation where Berry had no morals, Diamond Tiara would be the first pony on that list. It's amazing what you notice when you're not drunk off your rocker, and Berry felt guilty that she had not noticed their relentless teasing of Ruby before.

For their part, Ruby and Dinky were trying to walk away, but Diamond Tiara wouldn't have any of that. “Look at your mother. She's just sitting there, being stupid, as usual.”

DrunkPonyDrunkPonyDrunkPonyDrunkPonyDrunkPony... She tried to look nonchalant by taking another drink.

“Yeah, both your mothers are pretty worthless...” She tapped Ruby on the nose. “And so are you.”

Before Diamond Tiara knew what had happened, Berry Punch was right next to her. “Hi!” she slurred. Diamond jumped, but quickly regained her composure. (1) She was slightly rattled again when Berry's face filled her vision. “Are you one of Pinchy's little friends?” As she spoke, she pulled the filly's face up close to hers, as if trying to get a better look, and exhaled deeply. She was rewarded by a flinch and a look of disgust and revulsion that crossed Diamond's face as the stench of alcohol overwhelmed her. Berry continued, seemingly oblivious to Diamond's discomfort. “It's nice to meet her friends.”

Diamond Tiara struggled to get free, but Berry didn't let her go. Instead, she pulled her closer, in a tight hug. Berry nuzzled the squirming filly, ignoring her squeaks and hits of protest.

After a few seconds of letting her struggle (even as a grown pony, she would have been stronger than the filly; with her vampony strength she could have held her captive forever), she finally let go. Diamond Tiara sniffed the air and groaned exaggeratedly. “Ugh! Now I'm going to smell like awfulness for the rest of the day, you freak!”

Oh, how right she was... about the freak part, anyway. Diamond Tiara stalked off, quickly followed by Silver Spoon, their noses high in the air.

Perk number three of being a vampony is strength and quickness. If your muscles don't need the oxygen, and you can't feel pain or tiredness, your speed is pretty much limited only by the speed of thought.

So when Diamond Tiara looked back to shoot off one last parting shot, Berry Punch flashed her fangs.

She did it so quickly that the filly wasn't sure if she had seen what she thought she saw, and so just stared wide-eyed at Berry, her previous insult completely forgotten.

“Come again soon!” Berry said happily, waving good bye.

Shaking her head in confusion, Diamond Tiara continued on her way.

Ruby nuzzled her mother gratefully. “Thanks, mommy! You're the best!”

“No, you're the best.” Berry slumped to her haunches and cocked her head in apparent confusion. “They weren't the nicest ponies, were they?” she commented.

“Nope,” Ruby shook her head.

“Donkey here is a much better-er friend,” she said, ruffling the other unicorn's mane.

The little filly laughed. “I'm not a donkey! My name is Dinky!”

“'swhat I said,” Berry said, feigning offense.

Ruby and Dinky giggled as Ruby pulled her mother to her hooves. “Come on, mommy. We still have to pack.”

At least Ruby's last day here in Ponyville would be a happy memory, Berry thought as she let herself be led by Ruby. She couldn't help but sigh sadly.

Ruby was such a good little filly....

*  *  *

“Did you pack your toothbrush?”

“Yep!”

“And clothes?”

Ruby gave her mother a disparaging look. “Mommy, it's not winter.”

“...I knew that.”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. “I got it!” Ruby said, bouncing over and opening it.

There on the porch stood Nurse Redheart, holding a large, flat box, much longer than it was tall. “Hello, Ruby,” she greeted the filly. “Is your mom around?”

“Yep! She's right here!” Ruby said happily.

Berry stepped into view. Ruby couldn't see, but Berry let out a small sigh of relief. “Go finish packing,” she said. “Mommy has to talk to Nurse Redheart for a while.”

“Ok. What's in the box?”

Berry may have been a good bartender, with quick comebacks for anything any drunk pony could say to her; and a passable actress, with a good poker face and drunken act; but she always found it extremely difficult to lie to her daughter. “Well...”

Luckily, Redheart stepped in. “You know how your mom always comes to the clinic? Well, she can't while she's in the city. So I'm giving her some materials and things so she can stop drinking so much, without me being there to help her.” Redheart knelt down until she was eye level with Ruby. “This might be a little hard on your mother, so can you promise me that you'll help her this summer?”

Ruby made the motions of a Pinkie Promise. As she did so, Berry quickly scanned the room, briefly wondering if Pinkie Pie herself would be there to witness such an oath. Luckily, no such thing occurred. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen the party pony around recently...

“Good! Remember, a Pinkie Promise...”

“Is forever!” Ruby finished.

Redheart smiled. “That's right. Now, we have to discuss some big pony things. Do you have anything else to go pack?”

Ruby nodded, and scampered off.

When she was gone, Redheart's horn glowed, and the silencing spell took effect.

“Thanks,” Berry said. “I can't lie to her to save my life.”

If Redheart had caught the irony of that sentence, she didn't show it. She just smiled her professional, helpful smile. “I do what I can.” She levitated the package over. “Here it is, just like I promised. This package is enchanted to keep the contents cool. Don't leave it in the sun or anything, but it should help keep your blood fresh. I'll send more when I can.”

Berry took it and set it in the saddlebags sitting by the door. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Like I said, I think your body has just fallen into a rut. You need a little shock to your system, that's all.”

“I hope you're right.” Berry took a deep breath. “Do you think Ruby will be ok?”

Redheart nodded, more secure in her answer this time. “I do. You may try to hide it, but you're a good mother and you're always watching out for her.” She smirked, a tiny chink in her professionalism. “I heard about what you did to Diamond Tiara.”

Berry started. “How did...”

Redheart might have cracked a smile. “She came up to me last night, acting like she had just stepped in a pile of manticore droppings, and asked if she could get drunk off of... how did she say it? 'Berry's nauseatingly disgusting alcohol stench'.”

Berry couldn't restrain a laugh. “Big words for a little filly. Well, that attitude is nothing new for her, is it?”

Redheart kept a good poker face. “She's... certainly something else, isn't she? Hopefully she mellows out.”

“Well, I don't think that's possible... but then again, look at what happened to me. I didn't think that was possible either.”

Redheart noticed that Berry Punch had avoided the use of the term 'vampony' when describing her condition. She wouldn't tell Berry to her face, but one of her goals with this little project was that Berry would learn to accept who she was. Of course, she had enough faith in Berry that she knew nopony would wind up dead; but since step one of fixing any problem is fully acknowledging it, she figured that moving to a new place might help with her new identity.

Berry took a more serious note. “So... you really think I can do this?”

Redheart stepped up and gave Berry a hug. “I know you can.”

“Hugs!” And both mares suddenly found themselves with a little filly wrapped happily around their forelegs.

Redheart laughed lightly as she returned the gesture with one hoof and ruffled the filly's mane with the other. “You know it.”

But too soon, Redheart had to return to the clinic, and Ruby had to finish packing. As the nurse left, Derpy flew up, holding a postcard. She had her eyes closed and was bopping her head in time with the music playing in her head, and didn't realize that the door was open until she was right in front of it. The mailmare blushed lightly as she met Berry's eyes, and sheepishly held out the postcard.

Berry had shifted back into her acting mode, and blinked blearily, as if she were slightly hungover. She looked at the postcard but refrained from taking it; instead, she looked at the mailmare with curiosity. She knew exactly what Derpy was blushing about, but feigned ignorance. “Are you ok?”

“I'm fine,” the pegasus replied.

Berry sighed and brought a hoof to her face. “Was it something I did when I was drunk?” she asked, with an air of resignation.

Derpy blushed harder and averted her eyes. “Well... yeah... you tried to kiss me.”

Berry widened her eyes, put on a look of shock, and began to stutter. “Did I? I didn't mean to. I didn't even want to. Wait... I mean, not like I don't want to kiss you. It's not like you're ugly or... wait, I mean... I don't, you know, like mares like that. I have a daughter, you know, and so do you, so it's not like you're... I mean... not like I'm... uh... you're a pretty mare and all, but...” Berry paused, swore under her breath, grabbed the letter, and slammed the door.

As soon as the door had shut, Berry dropped the awkward act and leaned up against it, ear pressed tightly to the wood. Listening carefully, she could hear Derpy as she processed what had just happened. She could almost hear the smile spread across her face. “I am a pretty mare, aren't I?” she whispered, and when she walked away from the porch, Berry could hear a skip in her step that wasn't there before.

Berry smiled. She would go through a little embarrassment to make somepony else's day. She looked at the postcard, which was a very nice view of Manehattan. She cocked her head in confusion. Who did she know in Manehattan? Nopony came to mind... so she flipped it over to read the message.

Berry had no idea what to make of this, and settled for sliding the card under the couch.

*  *  *

At the train station, Berry took one look back at Ponyville. This would be good bye for the summer. She tried to focus on her memories of her friends, of Redheart, of Ruby, of any of her friends she could think of, because her vampony instincts were telling her to run, to hide, being outside in daylight around so many ponies was wrong! Still, she focused on the task at hoof. She could do it. She knew she could.

Maybe.

She looked down at her daughter, who was looking around with wide eyes. So many ponies here! This would be a fun trip after all!

Standing in the crowd, Berry Punch felt somepony brush against her saddlebag. Her sensitive hearing picked up the tell-tale sound of the latch being opened.

Not wanting to be pick-pocketed here (or anywhere else, for that matter), she lashed out quickly with a back hoof. She moved so quickly that a casual observer might not have seen the hit. He collapsed, gasping for air.

Fairly certain she had broken a rib, and less than desirous to be caught in that area in that situation, she gently nudged Ruby. “Come on, Pinchy. Let's see if we can get closer to the train.” She led the way, with Ruby bouncing along beside her.

Not ten minutes later, they were sitting in a train car, speeding along the tracks. Ruby leaned peacefully against her mother, and Berry absentmindedly ran a hoof through her daughter's mane.

Berry exhaled softly as she gazed at the scenery rushing by. 'Well,' Berry thought, 'here goes nothing.'

Chapter 3--New Start

Thanks to The Fuzzy Necromancer for valuable input.

“Mommy?” Ruby asked. “Why did the lady laugh when you told her how much you wanted to pay?”

Berry had to work very hard to not say, 'same reason I laughed when I bucked her in the face so hard she could look out her butthole'. Instead, she smiled. “I'm not sure. I guess ponies are just different in the city.”

She knew the real reason, of course. The first thing Redheart had warned her about was that everything in the city was a bit more expensive. She didn't realize just how much more, though. So when Berry had named the price range she was willing to pay for housing, the agent had burst out laughing, before she realized that Berry was serious. She then laughed harder before finally pointing to a few areas that might have apartments in her range.

They wandered, walking deeper into the city and into the lower parts of town. Here, the buildings were a bit more spread out and a bit older, and the roads slightly less smooth. Berry scanned the scene with a protective mother's eyes. She didn't want a place that was too run-down, but she sure couldn't afford some of the higher places. Heck, she didn't even have a job yet!

Berry shook her head and fought her desire for a drink. Some things never change. That didn't help when they trotted by the door of a bar. Berry suppressed a sigh. It's not like she would have minded going inside and getting wasted. Now, though, that was impossible. Honestly, the first thing she did when she realized that she was indeed a vampony was try to drink that pain away. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it), her body responded differently to alcohol now.

As in, her body was almost no longer affected by alcohol. The same thing that made her immune to all poisons also made her incapable of being drunk. It probably involved her body not having blood flowing, or something about her body miraculously restoring itself about thirty seconds after every injury that boosted her alcohol tolerance (already at astronomical levels) skyward.

That was NOT on the list of perks of being a vampony.

An obviously drunk stallion leered at her from an alleyway. Berry shot him the most convincing death glare she could, and his eyes widened before he turned and fled.

Maybe it was the undead-ness, but ever since she had been turned, her death glare (honed to perfection from her years as a bartender) had become almost weaponized. That was definitely a perk.

*  *  *

To those who say miracles are impossible in this day, Berry would point to the fact that she ended up finding an apartment that fit her budget—before dinner time. Ruby hadn't complained one bit, but she also hadn't protested at her mother's command to ride on her back, even with all the luggage Berry was dragging. She didn't mind, what with her vampony strength and endurance; but little Pinchy had no such perk. Her tiny hooves would probably be sore tomorrow, but Berry took a small comfort in knowing that at least now Ruby would have a safe place to call her own for a while.

At least, she hoped this place was safe. The landlady was not the politest pony Berry had met, the complex itself certainly wasn't anything special, and the pair of Solar Guards patrolling the general area didn't help matters any. On the brighter side, though, the middle courtyard was kindof a nice touch, and their apartment was on the second floor. (1)

Berry mumbled to herself as she counted the apartments. “Twenty one... twenty-three.” Holding the key in her mouth, she tried to open the door. Earth ponies never seemed to like keys, for obvious reasons. (2)

“Can I try, Mommy?”

Berry nodded and took a step back. Ruby lit her horn and screwed her face up in concentration. She tried, but she was just too young, and her magic was too weak to even take the key from her mother's mouth. After a few minutes, she hung her head in defeat. Berry ruffled her mane gently. “Keep practicing, Pinchy. You'll get it.”

Berry also struggled with the key, but eventually she succeeded. Ruby ran in, and Berry followed.

At least, she attempted to. To her horror, she felt her face hit the same resistance as before, and she couldn't enter. How did that make any sense? This was HER house! Her house! She was the one paying for it! How come she couldn't get in?

Well, then again, she owned her house in Ponyville and couldn't get in there, either; so in some really sadistic way, this made perfect sense.

Unable to cross the threshold, she stood there awkwardly as Ruby looked around their new but temporary home. “It's.... nice....” Ruby said hesitantly.

“It's small,” Berry said flatly, clearly inviting more criticism.

“And kindof dirty,” Ruby amended.

“Yep. But it's home for now.”

The filly turned back. “Aren't you going to come in?”

Berry exhaled, relieved. She took a step forward... and hit that invisible door again. Apparently, that wasn't enough of an invitation. Although her mind ran through a very long list of profane expressions, she put a playful smile on her face. “I don't know, Pinchy... I kindof like it out here.” She looked around, as if appreciating the view. Scruffy grass, scarred walls, various holes that might have been from crossbow bolts...

“Mommy, you're silly,” Ruby giggled.

Berry just stood there, still smiling but completely helpless. She was simply unable to enter her own apartment.

Ruby rolled her eyes. “Come on, Mommy, we gotta unpack and get ready and move in so we can go get dinner, so come in already!”

If that wasn't an invitation, nothing was. Berry sighed with relief as she was finally permitted to step inside. Once inside, she scanned the walls with a critical eye (that just so happened to be able to see perfectly in the dim light—perk number two). The term “dingy” seemed to fit best. It looked as though the previous occupants had made just a token attempt at cleaning at best, if that. The room smelled of cheap cleaning supplies and vinegar. Berry Punch crinkled her nose at the smell. Somehow, she remembered that vinegar was good for masking strong scents, like blood, or other bodily fluids.

Growling at that particular mental image, she returned to her inspection.

As Ruby Pinch walked back to her bedroom to start unpacking, Berry Punch slumped on the couch—and was promptly interrupted by a pain in her back. Thanks to perk number four (higher pain tolerance) it was more of an annoyance than dangerous, but getting stabbed would annoy anypony. Tired and frustrated, she was half-tempted to just lay there anyway; but decided against it. She lifted herself up to see a thick, sharp wire sticking out of the couch at least an inch and a half. Now infuriated at the previous owners (what if Pinchy had been the first on the couch?), she quickly checked to see if Ruby was looking and, finding herself alone, leaned down and bent the wire back with her mouth. She bounced once, to see if that had fixed the problem, but still it dug into her ribs. Now annoyed, she leaned down, clamped her teeth firmly on the offending metal piece, and physically ripped it out.

The couch responded to this abuse by promptly collapsing.

Amid a mess of fabric and wood splinters and poky metal, all she could do was sigh. Welcome home, Berry, she thought.

*  *  *

A few hours and a light supper later, Berry looked out at the courtyard. Ruby had asked permission to go play, which had been granted, and now Berry kept a close eye on her daughter from the second story railing right outside their door. Her sensitive hearing picked up a pony approaching from behind, and she turned to look. The door to the apartment next to her opened, and out came a little earth pony colt, with gray fur and a yellow mane. He nodded hello to Berry before scampering down the stairs. As he passed, Berry Punch could smell drugs on his body, and quickly decided that this little colt shouldn't play with Ruby. Which, of course, was obviously his plan.

Before Berry could think of a good way to scare him off, another voice rang out. “Be careful!” called a mare that could only have been his mother. She stuck her head outside, and Berry realized that this was the actual source of the smell. Her mane was stringy, one of her front teeth was missing, and the fur on her front legs was patchy. She had obviously been a user for a long time.

What did I get myself in to? Berry briefly wondered, before the mare turned to face her. “Hey! Welcome to the neighborhood!”

Berry smiled lamely. “Yeah. Thanks.”

The newcomer returned inside her apartment, and Berry resumed watching. The colt was watching Ruby as she played in the sandbox, and obviously trying to think of a good way to approach her. She quickly ran through various scenarios in her head, trying to think of a good way to scare him, without scarring him for life.

Well, maybe that was too harsh a restriction. Scars exist temporarily, right? As if of its own accord, her hoof reached up and ran along the scar that lay on her cheek, hidden underneath her fur.

No. Scars last forever. Even when her body reset itself, that scar came back.

She fought to stop herself from going down that mental path again, and was thankfully saved by the return of her neighbor, holding out a bottle of wine. Berry Punch instantly recognized it as the cheapest brand on the market, with a weak flavor which was offset by a high alcohol content.

“It's like a housewarming gift,” she explained.

Berry Punch realized the implications of the offered bottle.

This was a time for redefining herself! This was a time to be whoever she wanted to be!

And it was at about this time that she took the proffered bottle, popped it open with her practiced teeth, and chugged the bottle.

The mare stared, impressed.

“Yeah,” Berry said, brusquely wiping her lips with a foreleg. “You should see me when I'm not trying to kick the habit.”

The mare finally spoke. “Autumn Leaf,” she introduced herself.

“Berry Punch.”

“I think you'll get along fine here.”

Berry Punch gave a wry smile, and then looked down to see that Ruby and the other colt playing together. She didn't know why, but she had a feeling that these two would be a big part of her life here—and she wasn't sure if she liked that idea or not.

Ruby Pinch's diery entery

todAy we moved into our new Aparrtment. Its kindof small but I like it. I druw a picture of the outside.

I met a nice colt today!! This is him:

He is gray like Dinkys momma. I thinK all gray ponies are nice.

Im worried about momma. I saw her drinking on the porch with Sandys momma. That's the colts name I met today. It sortof sounds like a filly name but he dosn't care.

I hope she will be ok heer.

Chapter 4--The Job Hunt, part 1

Freshly showered and feeling confident, Berry Punch stepped out of her apartment. She was quickly interrupted by a small plume of acrid smoke, courtesy of Autumn Leaf.

Autumn coughed, mostly out of surprise at Berry’s appearance than from whatever (likely illegal) substance she was smoking. "You're looking good. You got a hot date this early?" she asked.

Berry Punch rolled her eyes. "My soulmate died years ago and I will never find a better pony. I'm out job hunting."

It was Autumn's turn to roll her eyes. "Good luck. You'll need it."

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Berry asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ve been around the block a few times. You don’t just ‘find a job’ here. Most of us have stopped looking ‘cause it’s never going to happen."

Berry shrugged. “Well, I needed something to do today, and I didn’t feel like taking up smoking,” she ribbed gently.

Autumn chuckled mirthlessly and took another drag, very much unoffended. “I said that, too, but you'll come around eventually. We all do." She exhaled again. "You think I came out here to get high every day? I'm a singer.” She jerked her head towards her flank. To be perfectly honest, her coat was so dusty, dirty, and matted that Berry Punch wasn't really sure what her cutie mark was supposed to be, but after cocking her head and squinting hard, she realized it was a stylized microphone.

Autumn continued, “I can do things with music so powerful you would have to hear it to believe it. I can make grown stallions cry, I can make you fall in love, I can save your life or drive you to drink.”

“I didn’t need any help with that,” Berry muttered.

“But no. I landed here. And now I'm never getting out. No one ever does.”

“Well, I’m not no one. I am Berry Punch, and I am going to be successful here. And when I do, I’ll take you and Sandy out for dinner at the fanciest restaurant this town has.”

“You do that,” Autumn said, without a trace of bitterness or challenge in her voice. “It’s been forever since I’ve had a good cheesecake.”

“Cherries on top?”

“You know it.”

Berry smiled as she turned to leave. “Consider it done.”

“Ruby can come over here if she wants,” Autumn called after her. “Being cooped up in a small apartment all day is a bit lonely.” Her voice got quieter, but Berry could still hear. “I would know...”

Berry thought for a moment. Leaving Ruby alone was bad, she knew that. Leaving Ruby with a drug-addict was almost just as bad, though, if not worse. Why, what if she left for another fix and didn’t feed her lunch? What if Ruby got seriously hurt and Autumn was so out of it that Ruby didn’t get the attention she needed? What if...

It suddenly dawned on Berry that she had been describing herself before being turned. With a deep stab of guilt, Berry nodded and returned to her door. “I’ll tell her. I bet she’d like that.”

*  *  *

Berry Punch exhaled in relief as she entered her apartment that afternoon. She was feeling very successful. She had visited five bars in hopes of finding a job that went well with her cutie mark. She'd talked, she'd shown off (in one, she had demonstrated how she could mix a drink blindfolded), and all in all, she felt fairly confident. Why had she even worried? In fact, she felt like celebrating.

Berry stopped breathing (literally) and looked around. Ruby was with Sandy, and the door was closed. Surely, she would be there a bit longer, right? It wouldn’t be a problem to celebrate real quick before picking her up.

Berry smiled a small, self-indulging smile. She didn't have a large supply of blood bags, but when it's time to celebrate, you splurge a little. She trotted into the kitchen, reared up, and pulled a bag from her blood stash up on top of the cupboards (someplace Ruby wouldn't be likely to go). With one sharp tooth, she ripped off a corner. She briefly paused, listening for Ruby's little hooves, but heard nothing.

She smiled before lifting up the corner and... no. No. Berry, what’s wrong with you? You don't just celebrate by drinking from a bag. Setting the bloodbag down, she opened her cupboard and rooted through it, searching for a wineglass. Yeah. A long-stemmed one. This one. The one from her wedding day. The one with her cutie mark on it. The one with the hairline crack on the... hey!

Berry Punch examined it closer. Sure enough, there was a little crack along the base. It must have been damaged in the move. She frowned, briefly mourning the loss of her favorite wineglass. But it should still work, right?

Filling it from the bloodbag, she held it up, admired it in the light (a throwback to her wine-drinking days), and held it to her lips.

At this point, almost as if it had been rehearsed, Ruby Pinch ran in, holding a drawing in her mouth. “Mommy, mommy! I saw you come home and I wanted to show you this! Lookit.. momma...” Ruby's voice trailed off as she took in Berry's empty hooves and guilty expression. She put her hooves on her hips. “Mommy, are you drinking?

“No...” Berry said a bit too quickly, cursing her inability to lie well to her daughter. Ruby circled suspiciously, but Berry circled just as fast.

Her practiced tail held the full glass upright between her croup and her dock. It was almost scary how quickly her body remembered this position; which, while good for holding glasses, did mean that she had to walk around with her tail lifted. This, in turn, had earned her some good tips when she was first starting out bartending. What memories...

Suddenly, Ruby's eyes widened in horror. “Mommy! You're bleeding!” Ruby cried.

Berry looked down and saw that there was indeed a thin trail of blood flowing down the inner part of her leg, just at Ruby's eye level. She quickly realized that the cracked glass was now leaking.

This definitely could have gone better.

Ruby scampered around her mother, trying to see where it came from and if she could help in any way. Oh, why did Ruby have to be so caring? Berry shuffled in a tight circle, keeping her daughter in front of her.

Berry thought quickly. Awkwardness was key here. “Er... Remember when that special time I told you that there was... uh... You remember our talk about how a filly becomes a mare?”

Ruby nodded, still worried about her bleeding mother.

“This is one of those times,” Berry lied, really hoping that Ruby bought it. After all, it was summer, and some mares went through their cycles about that time, right? Of course, being a vampony, her body technically wasn't alive, and she hadn't gone through estrus in about two years. She still wasn't sure if that was a perk or a con yet, but was definitely leaning towards perk, especially after what had happened to her cousin Cheerilee this past year.

Ruby paused to digest this information, and her eyes widened. “Oh... Oh! So I should... I should probably go,” she said, decidedly looking anywhere but at her mother.

Berry nodded sheepishly.

Snatching up her drawing, Ruby darted out of the kitchen.

Berry exhaled in relief. There was absolutely nothing that couldn't be made more awkward with the mention of the estrus cycle. (1) Now for faking it... would Ruby notice it?

Berry snorted. She would. Ruby was just that observant.

She turned around to grab the glass with her teeth. Now, her motivation for drinking it was stress relief, not celebration. That one had been too close. Ignoring all wine protocol, she drained the glass in one go. It calmed her. It felt right.

And somehow, felt so wrong at the same time.

*  *  *

Berry Punch leaned against the railing, watching the foals play below. They seemed to be playing tag, but as usually happens with young playful foals, the rules had been discarded for a more open play. The fact that Sandy always seemed to choose to chase Ruby first was not lost on her.

She frowned slightly. She didn't really trust Sandy. Or Autumn, for that matter. Then again, vamponies are not known for giving their trust; no predator is. Any predator that trusts their prey will quickly go hungry (if they don't wind up dead), and that worked out fine because any prey that trusts a predator gets eaten quickly.

This pleasant tangent was interrupted by the door behind her opening, and a mildly intoxicated Autumn stepping out.

"Hey, Berry," she said, walking up to the railing as well. "Any cheesecake today?"

Berry rolled her eyes. "Nah. Waiting to hear back from five places, though."

"Are you really," Autumn said slowly. "Best of luck to you. If they all turn you down..."

"They won't."

"But if they do, you can come recover at my place anytime. Blow off some steam, you know?"

Berry raised an eyebrow. "Is that a sexual invitation?" she asked, having heard that line far too often as a bartender.

Autumn waved a hoof and shook her head. The combination of movements caused her to lose her balance, and Berry, having seen this far too often too, quickly caught her neighbor before Autumn's face became good friends with the metal railing.

"Thanks," she said. "And no. You're pretty, I'll give you that, but it'll take more than your face to turn me all wonky."

"Pretty sure it's too late for that," Berry jibed as she set Autumn back down.

"You know what I meant."

"About what?"

Autumn paused. "...I forget."

Berry gave a tiny snort of laughter and turned back to the game. She watched in amusement as Sandy climbed one of the threadbare trees in the courtyard and jumped off, intending to tag a golden pegasus filly who was sticking her tongue out and taunting him, but ended up missing and landing on a green unicorn colt. She couldn't help but crack a smile. Dangerous? Probably; but more to himself than to Ruby. Probably.

Autumn had seen his performance, too (although from a more shaky viewpoint) and she grinned. "He's a tough little colt, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Berry replied.

"And he loves his momma," she added proudly. Then Autumn paused, took a look at herself, and visibly wilted. "I need another drink," she mumbled before turning back around and heading back inside.

Berry had seen that far too often as well. Impulsively, she grabbed Autumn by the tail and pulled her back out easily. "It can wait," she said around the taste of dust, dirt, and who knows what else was embedded in her tail. "Stay and watch a while."

Autumn struggled, hooves scrabbling against the ground in an attempt to get back inside. At least, she looked like she was struggling. Berry really didn't feel much resistance at all.

After about three minutes, Autumn finally stopped. "Fine, but I get to drink twice as much tonight."

"Whatever," Berry said as she spat out her tail.

Both mothers watched the game in silence. At least, until Autumn noticed Ruby chasing Sandy.

"Ah, young love..." Autumn breathed wistfully.

No.

No no no.

No no no no by Celestia's flowing tail no.

"Eh," Berry shrugged. "I don't see it happening."

Autumn stared. "I was joking," she said. “They don’t even have their cutie marks yet.”

"Oh."

“Perv.”

There was a moderately awkward silence.

"Well, I guess I'll go take a nap or something then," Autumn finally said. "See you around."

"Right," Berry said.

She was mildly disappointed. It is really hard to dislike somepony when you see yourself reflected in their eyes.

* * *

Berry Punch scowled as she walked up the stairs back to her apartment.

“Something tells me you didn’t have a good day,” a voice broke in.

Berry looked up to see Autumn, laying on her back in a hammock, holding Sandy on her stomach and stroking his mane as he slept.

Berry was about to ask where she had gotten such a thing (and where she had found the drive to actually set it up) when a more urgent thought occurred to her. “Where’s Ruby?” she asked.

Autumn pointed with a rear hoof. “Coloring on the table.”

Sure enough, the filly had heard her mother arrive and rushed outside. “Mommy! How was your day? Did they say you were the greatest mommy ever and they wanted you to work for them?”

Berry’s mind flew back to earlier.

*  *  *

“I’m sorry, but there’s no place for you on our staff at this time,” he said.

Berry nodded, mentally translating that phrase. That was the polite way of saying Get Thy Flank Out. Berry Punch left the office and slumped on one of the chairs out on the floor. Seriously? But she was perfect for this job! She slouched and growled. Why wasn’t she welcomed with open forelegs and bags of bits?

Maybe it’s because I’m fat, she wondered. Bartenders do usually tend to be eye candy as well. She poked her stomach experimentally. Sure, she had a bit of a pudge, and she definitely wouldn't be asked to model anytime soon; but she didn't look that bad, did she? Most stallions these days preferred their mares with a bit of sustenance anyway, right? So what if she carried a little more mass on her thighs? Foaling isn’t easy, you know. It’s a miracle she looked as good as she did.

It was at this point that she realized that she had not been thinking these things, but had, in fact, been talking out loud.

There were ponies. Many ponies.

And they were all staring at her.

Oops.

If Berry had been able to blush, she definitely would have. As it was, she merely brushed her mane back and left.

*  *  *

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can hire you now.”

Berry Punch nodded, thanked the stallion (who flinched at her offered hoof before bumping nervously) and walked out of the office. She fought the urge to bite her lip. Sure, good for relieving stress, but sometimes vampony strength was a little unpredictable and she had bitten off her lip at least twice before. Plus, biting off your lip hurt. And then there’s the whole ‘oh did anyone see me?’ because that’s amazingly hard to cover for.

Anyway... Berry Punch brought herself back into the real world. She paused before leaving. When she worked with other ponies, she would often talk about them behind their backs as soon as they’d left. Sure, often they were too drunk to do anything about it even if they did hear, but it was a habit. She walked closer to the door, held her breath (before remembering that she didn’t need to breathe anyway) and pressed her ear against the door. As a filly, she had often done this with a glass to hear better, but her vampony hearing worked just as well.

“You didn’t hire her?” the younger pony asked. “She was perfect, wasn’t she?”

“Yeah, but... something was off about her.”

“Off?”

“I dunno how to describe it... Maybe it’s her eyes? There’s something about her that just gives me the willies.”

Berry snarled. She’d heard enough. Vamponyism was definitely a curse.

*  *  *

“I’m afraid we don’t have room on our staff for you at this time.”

Berry fought the urge to flip the desk into his face. Instead, she pulled a smile on her face. “Thank you for your time,” she said, and left.

Maybe she was actually going for a world record. How many different ways could she be rejected?

She shook her head. This wasn’t helping her wallet or her attitude. She decided to go home.

*  *  *

Berry Punch shook her head and ruffled her daughter’s mane. “Not yet. But I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.”

Her excellent hearing picked up Autumn give a tiny snort. Her forelegs tightened further around her daughter. She would show her. She would. Berry Punch was not a failure.

...right?