A bright golden equine figure with a pair of wings stood in front of a mystical golden temple. Daring Do, a lean four hundred kilogram pegasus, stared into the carved ruins of the temple. Trembling tremendously in the terribly telling tremolo, the trepid trespasser trekked through the intriguing trees to the temple, terrifyingly terrorising the horrors of the track.
Undistracted, she leapt into the twenty-six foot long archway, with a sandstone sediment brick acting as a keystone. Instinctively, she inched into the corridor, irritated by the irrational, even irking irises that stared at her from both sides of the corridor. Who knew stone-carved eyes meticulously carved by the most scrupulous of craftsmares would be so unnerving?
No matter. She had to get to the treasure.
At least before that accursed Dr. Caballeron could.
“Stop.”
A one hundred and-eighty-six kilogram serpentine figure slipped from the shadows, silently slithering into sight.
Daring froze.
A grin emerged from its mouth, showing off all of its three cavities, ten incisors, twelve canines, eight premolars and six molars, a revolting breath reeking from its mouth. “This ends here.”
A crash, then a thud. Darkness shrouded the room, before an iridescent light flashed without a falter with the flip of a lever. The one hundred and eighty-six kilogram serpentine figure with three cavities, ten incisors, twelve canines, eight premolars and six molars smirked as it started towards the hapless pegasus. “Too many times have you stolen from our temples, too many times have I failed to stop you. But today will be different...today, your fate is sealed, well, literally sealed.”
“You are wrong, Ahuizotl.” Daring’s eyes eagerly yearned for an exit. “I’m saving priceless artifacts from creatures like you.”
The one hundred and eighty-six kilogram serpentine figure with three cavities, ten incisors, twelve canines, eight premolars and six molars chuckled. “Priceless?” It laughed heartily. “Have you ever...doubted them?”
The bright golden pegasus blinked. “Doubted?”
“It will all be revealed in a moment of truth.” The four hundred and ten pound serpent raised its brow. “All of the artifacts you stole were...forgeries.”
“Forgeries? What do you mean?” Daring shifted her hooves uncomfortably.
“If you were meticulous enough to verify your so-called ‘archaeological’ findings, a simple test involving carbon-dating would reveal that none of your artifacts were barely ten years old. I made these to deceive any would-be, apparent, so-called ‘archaeologists’ from stealing the main treasure.” The serpentine figure nodded. “Yes...and soon I will spread rumours about how the artifacts you have so kindly...gifted to the museums were indeed fakes. Your reputation will be destroyed, and you will be sentenced to jail.
“Well, I hope you like bread, because that’s what you’ll be enjoying for the rest of your ti—”
Laughter.
“Wha—”
“Did you seriously think that I, a seasoned, trained and veteran archaeologist would be unable to tell the difference?” Daring snarked. “I knew they were fakes.”
“So what,” the four hundred and ten pound serpent scoffed. “That only makes things worse for you. ‘Daring Do knowingly cheats and swindles museums of historical artifacts.’ A great headline for the times, huh?”
“Except...I had extracted the real artifacts without you knowing...by swapping them with the forgeries!”
“What! How? How did y—”
This time, Daring’s teeth glinted in the faint glow. “Heh, turns out that your forgeries provided the perfect distracting distraction that distracted you.”
The serpentine figure shook its head. “No.”
“No?”
“No. You haven’t bested me yet, Daring. You realise you are in a temple with no way out, right? I’ll just get my revenge, here and now.”
Ahutizol lunged. Leaping away, Daring dragged a spare piece of rope out of her saddlebags and looped it round a conveniently overgrown root, bits of stone flying everywhere. She swung around, evading the wrath of a certain four hundred and ten pound serpentine beast and somehow landed on a safe, though crumbling, platform where it could not reach.
“You can’t hide there forever!”
“I can’t, but I can escape!”
“Escape?” Ahuitzol burst out laughing. “The entire place is on full lockdown, Daring Do. You can’t run and you can’t hide.”
“Or can I?” Daring Do whipped out a square-faced faceted aquamarine-crocoite matrixed magically-enhanced ancient artifact.
“No! You have the ultimate square-faced faceted aquamarine-crocoite matrixed magically-enhanced ancient artifact of Tenochillitan! How...how is this possible?”
Daring took a single step forward. “And clearly, you must be aware of the power of this square-faced faceted aquamarine-crocoite matrixed magically-enhanced ancient artifact.”
“You...can teleport…?” the creature stuttered.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious. Now, if you would excuse me, allow me to—”
“No.”
“No?”
“You underestimate my powers, Daring Do. Behold!”—the one hundred and eighty-six kilogram serpentine figure with three cavities, ten incisors, twelve canines, eight premolars and six molars whipped out a strange, mythical artifact—“The awesome power of the magic-negating-and-nullifying magnesite-sapphire-matrixed artifact from Patizotl. This device will negate the power of your stupid device and trap you down in here forever!”
“What!”
“You realise your artifact’s not activating, right?” Ahuizotl chuckled, its beady eyes shifting deviously. Daring Do stared at her device, hoping that her sheer willpower would somehow connect to it in the meta-physical realm to negate the negation magic. However, the device remained quiescent.
“Daring Do, my old nemesis. You may have outsmarted my jungle cats, my past self, but not today!” The six thousand, five hundred and fifty-six ounce figure slammed his limbs into the alabaster walls. “Today you are doomed!”
“Not for me…” Daring glanced up at the ceiling. “...but for you!”
Cracks had started to emerge from the top of the ancient cavern, with bits of rubble collapsing down onto the duo.
“No no no! Cut CUT CUT!”
Daring and Ahuizotl stopped in their tracks.
“You fool!” Dr. Caballeron shouted from outside the production set, rising from his director’s chair. He slammed a hoof down onto the SameTech video recording device. “Stop hitting the ceiling so hard! It took me thirty days to model this entire temple from scratch!”
Daring rolled her eyes. “Seriously? Why did you cut? The cracks were perfect for the movie!”
Ahuizotl slammed his paw-like hands onto the ground. “So much for the colloquial collaboration with Caballeron.”
“Hey now, don’t you want our books to capture a wider audience? This movie would be a perfect way to—”
The serpent scoffed. “With you directing, I look like a stereotypical antagonist tha—”
“LOOK OUT!”
The model of the set proved to be more fragile than the actual temple itself. Splinters from wooden planks supporting the ‘rock surface’ of the cavern’s ceiling were about to cave in. A groaning, rumbling sound only confirmed their worst nightmare. It appeared that their endless argument had to be rekindled later.
“RUN!” Daring Do shouted, her wings beating as fast as they could.
Ahuitzotl and Dr. Caballeron did not need to be told twice. They dashed out of the set in a frenzy, before the entire thing came crashing down.
CRASH!
Powdered smoke and dust obscured their senses as they found themselves at the entrance of the movie set. They rubbed their eyes, noticing two silhouettes emerging from in front of them.
“Hello. I’m from the Equestrian Archeological Board of Directors. Daring Do, you are under investigation for ninety-six suspected cases of fraud. We found that some of your retrieved artifacts were forgeries. Ahuitzotl, you are under investigation for damaging priceless ruins and temples pivotal to our heritage.”
“And I’m from the Equestrian Occupational Safety and Health Administration. Dr. Cabelleron, you are under investigation for the risk management of this set, which you have evidently failed.”
