There's a WHATquestria?!

Having been unable to quickly get a lock on her home world, Twilight had resigned herself to having to spend a few days in "Tittyquestria", and elected to explore the local version of Ponyville in order to determine the full set of consequences from every mare in the world having built-in wrecking balls, and possibly uncover a lead to solve the Puzzle of the Great Switchaboob.

And so she stood in the middle of Ponyville market, red as a tomato. A tomott, Spike used to say when he was learning to talk.

"E-e-e-everyone's stariiiing," Twilight hissed in a scandalized whisper.

"Of course they are, dear, your tits are gorgeous, possibly the biggest in town, I'm quite jealous," Rarity flattered her. "Just act normal! They're just appreciating your beauty, they'll look away soon if you don't make it obvious something is wrong. Do you need me to strut? I'm no Pinkie but I can make them swing."

"N-no, no, that's fine." Her Rarity could make them swing, too, and she'd rather not see the supercharged version.

As Apple Bloom passed by, waving cheerfully, Twilight was relieved to remember that most fillies were spared. She was unable to pinpoint the age range at which a filly would become a mare, but she presumed once it happened, they would fwoomp on out within seconds, probably about as fast as manifesting a cutie mark, probably with a cartoon bwooong sound. Though clearly, earning a cutie mark was not simultaneous with getting shackled with monster milkers, as Apple Bloom already bore a birdhouse in the shape of an apple on her...

Twilight blinked and stopped herself from staring. Apple Bloom's ass was massive. Was it possible that not every mare was a boob golem? Was Apple Bloom old enough to count? She certainly had the hips for it. Twilight needed to find a definite adult mare who wasn't tripping over her tits every 3 seconds to be sure. And was Apple Bloom's butt that big in her home world, too? Twilight had never been so conscious of everyone's naughty parts before she ended up in this uncanny whorehouse of an Equestria.

"Uwaah!" came the familiar call of the Postmaster as she tumbled through the sky tits-over-head into a bush. Now there's a mare who doesn't need any extra complications, Twilight sympathized.

"There you girls are," Rainbow Dash flittered over. Twilight's eyes followed the hypnotic bounce of her oversized, overround breasts - as big as they were on her small body, if she touched the ground, they'd touch the ground. "We've gotta show Twilight what Boners and Booblins is."

Twilight continued to watch her jubblies, feeling dizzy, before shaking her head. "Wait, what?"

"Oh! What she referred to as Hors d'oeuvres and Omelettes?" Rarity misquoted. "Twilight, darling, are you from some kind of... Foodquestria, that venerates food instead of our big beautiful titties?"

"What, no -- aah!" Twilight cried. Rainbow Dash was now behind her, shoving her by the butt.

"C'mon, it's a convention in town." Dash whined, still pushing. "Spike's probably already there."

"I roll to seduce," they heard a gentle voice call as they entered. "If no one has an objection."

Twilight double-took. "W-what the... Is that Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy, reclining back comfortably in a black stone throne with one limp-wristed hoof near her chin like a barbarian queen, was painted green from head to toe, her mane a pale lime. She wore an elaborate leather cuirass with her belly implausibly exposed. She had a prosthetic nose on, like a bat's or a pig's, and had little clips on her ears to make them look bigger and more pointed. Her tits, already quite big and gently pointed, were held up by what appeared to be faux-leather cups, drastically enhancing her cleavage. And, Twilight was alarmed to see, they looked much bigger than they did just the other day.

"Wait." Spike, wearing a fish-like helmet, tights, and lederhosen, all in black, wiggled his butt at his modest sit-pillow and furrowed his brows. "You're gonna seduce a Boner?" he confirmed.

"... Oh!" Fluttershy blinked, suddenly abashed, dropping her character briefly and covering her mouth with one hoof. "I suppose I can't really do much with a skeleton, can I..."

"Under edition 4.5," began a beautiful doe with a white-spotted butt, droopy ears, flowing pale-blonde hair and a pair of large, but reasonably so tits, completely covered (reasonably so) in faux leather, "Only mampires can seduce the undead, except for thirsty souls, who will change their target to attack the largest boobs in the party." Twilight found something strange about her strained, bouncy voice, as though her natural tone was a little deeper.

"Right, thanks Snails," Spike nodded. Twilight blinked and looked at the doe again.

"My name is Florinzi Fawnbags," Snails complained.

"That," Starlight droned, trotting up to Twilight and pointing at Fluttershy, "... is a Booblin. Fluttershy is quite popular for her character, Midoriko Milkstone. Everybody loves buster neutrals, and she's the only one to ever sexually exhaust a Priapic God in a documented game. "

"B-buster?" Twilight repeated.

"Yeah. You know, bra, neutral, buster. Bras follow the rules, busters break 'em. Like bra straps."

Twilight blinked with her mouth open, then closed her mouth, still blinking, and changed the topic. "Why do her boobs look even bigger than normal," she settled on.

"It's a trick of the costume," Rarity tutted, tossing her mane, her nose high. "The natural curvature of her undercarriage is disguised as a squish from the point at which they meet the brassiere - which continues at a tangent. Her teats only fill at most two-thirds of each cup - the rest is padded full."

"... Why does she need them to look bigger," Twilight fished.

"You see anyone else here with tits like those?" Starlight countered. "She's the star of the show whenever there are public games. Sometimes she even makes appearances. She fought Lactiria once."

Twilight gasped. "Did you say Lactiria! From GalactaStick?"

"Of course," Rarity waved off, then widened her eyes as though she'd just sat on something. "Er, wait, did you say... ga... LactaStick?"

Twilight facehoofed. "Oh dammit, I should've known." GalactaStick was horny enough in her world, she really didn't need it to be any more boobish.

"So wait," Starlight furrowed her brows. "What does your world call The Boulder Queen?"

"Describe it," Twilight deadpanned, against her best interests.

"The ancient earth-queen Lavan gathers magic rocks to give herself super big rock boobs."

Twilight stared aghast. "... Lordstone..."

"Huh, that rolls off the tongue a lot better..." Starlight admitted, looking up with a hoof to her chin.

"I can't seduce a Boner but you can absorb the boobs off of a corpse?!" Fluttershy squeaked in outrage.

Twilight shambled back home and into the kitchen. Spike, sitting at the table eating a sandwich, looked up at her and then away. He still had on most of his armor, though the fish helmet was resting on one of the counters.

"Hey Spike," Twilight sighed. "Loons, I never want to see another dumb costume ever again. No offense. Yours was the least objectionable one there." His testicles were clearly outlined in the pants, but there wasn't much he could really do about that at his size.

"Mm," Spike objected, then swallowed. "The Night of the Dancing Pumpkins is comin' up soon, though, you'll be seeing a lot of awful costumes then." His face reddened.

Twilight froze and racked her brain to remember. "... You mean Nightmare Night?" That's right, she'd been looking forward to that before all this happened. Guess she was getting screwed out of it...

"Well, it is a commemoration of Luna's return to Tittyquestria now," Spike blinked. "But we call it the Night of the Dancing Pumpkins. Always have, since way back in the day."

"Huh," Twilight blinked. "I guess that's cute." She imagined little jack-o-lanterns dancing around and singing spooky songs. That might be fun.

"It's great," Spike concurred, nodding. "Though, um, usually, our Twilight makes me stay home."

"Really?" Twilight tilted her head in worry. "... does she mistreat you?"

"No, no," Spike denied. "No, I wouldn't say so. Just... I guess... she doesn't really, um, trust me." he awkwardly returned to chewing his sandwich.

"What?" Twilight put a wing to her heart. "That's terrible." she sympathized softly.

He sighed. "L-look," he rubbed at his forehead nervously. "You girls are hot as heck, okay? You're not even a little bit shy about it. And you're always swinging those things around in my face and they're like a forbidden fruit I can't eat."

Twilight froze, not realizing this was the conversation topic.

"Even you! My own sister! You and Rarity have butts I could take a bite out of! But it'll never happen and it shouldn't happen and it's gross and..." Spike put his face on the table. "Can I tell you a secret," he mumbled into the table.

"You, uh, you're telling me a lot already," Twilight stammered. "As in, something you don't want the girls to know?"

He pulled his face back up, looking at the table. "I've been meaning to talk to Twilight about it... my Twilight, but um..."

"... What is it?"

"Applejack and I, uh... We've had sex," Spike admitted, fidgeting with his hands and looking away.

Twilight blinked. She was honestly expecting to feel more shocked about that one. Come to think of it, she'd be more shocked to hear one of them hadn't had sex with him. Twilight sat down across from him and spoke gently. "Like... sex sex?"

"Y-yeah," Spike clarified, staring at the wall red-faced. "On the inside..." he mumbled.

Penetrative sex... Great. She tried not to visualize it. "When did that happen?" she asked, honestly curious to know.

"It wasn't that long ago," he fidgeted. "Or was it? I don't really remember. Just... one night, she noticed I was really upset, and we ended up in The Barn. Er," he paused awkwardly, "Do you have 'The Barn' in your world? Capitalized?"

Twilight nodded, smiling. "If she doesn't have The Barn, she isn't Applejack," she answered.

"Yeah... well, we had a talk about it, and it was a real sweet talk about how... uh... growing up around all these... beautiful girls I cared about a lot... I was getting these weird feelings, and... things got a little affectionate, and she just sort of, asked if I wanted to, um..." He looked down, teary-eyed.

Alarm bells went off in Twilight's head as she realized that it was entirely possible something similar could have happened with her Spike as well. As soon as she got back she was going to do some interrogations. Boobs or no boobs, Applejack was a bad mamma-jamma and a peerless keeper of intimate secrets such as humping her little brother, the harlot, the golden temptess. In fact, all of her friends were quite eligible bachelorettes. Ooooooh when she got back she was about to swab Spike's peepee for DNA traces.

"Do you regret it?" she asked sincerely.

"I don't know," Spike said. "We're still friends... I just feel like, like a pervert, is all. And the girls treat me like one."

Twilight swallowed uncomfortably. "In my world, where us girls aren't quite so over-endowed, and especially we're much shyer about sex, our Spike doesn't seem to have that issue," she started. "I'm sure he must... y'know, now and again... every boy does that at your age, and well, so do most of the girls too, I'm pretty sure..."

"Is it their fault?" Spike wondered, his hands over his face. "Or is it my fault?"

"Is it anyone's 'fault'?" Twilight shook her head. "I mean, is it even that bad by the standards of this place? I was just at a convention where Fluttershy - Fluttershy - was a 'Booblin' casually discussing whether or not she could get a skeleton to, uh..." She cleared her throat. "The Fluttershy I know avoids everyone's line of sight, treats her tits like Rarity treats zits, and would blush as soon as she heard 'roll to seduce'."

"I always figured, her being an animal sage and all, she's seen a lot of freaky stuff," Spike sighed. "A lot of sex, at least."

"Well, yes," Twilight nodded. "My Fluttershy is comfortable talking about animal droppings, courtship, reproduction - but as an outsider, a scholar. Does your Fluttershy casually talk about pony poop?"

Spike snorted. "No way. She's disgusted when she sees a typical public bathroom."

"Right, same as ours," Twilight laughed. "And ours is way more bashful about pony sex. Even seeing folks kiss sends her into an episode. But this place, everyone seems to be really open about sex."

"It's the Elements of Titty," Spike pointed out. "This entire country is founded on boob worship. So they're super comfortable with their bodies... a little too comfortable, actually..."

"I highly doubt," Twilight soothed, "I highly doubt that you're the only boy in Ponyville, let alone Tittyquestria, who's overwhelmed by all these fertility goddesses parading their goods around."

"W-well," Spike considered, still red-faced. "I know Rumble gets in trouble for peeking in mares' windows..."

Twilight nodded. She'd witnessed Sweetie Belle catching Rumble looking in on Rarity and giving him a very audible slap to the scrotum. "Your Rumble is a boobs-and-butt addict. Honestly, every colt in town probably wants to hop on Rarity."

"And Big Macintosh takes a lot of bathroom breaks," Spike chuckled bashfully. "I mean, have you seen Big Macintosh?"

Twilight blushed. "I didn't know a stallion's testicles could get that large."

"Sure you did," Spike grimaced. "Unless you're telling me your Shining Armor isn't the physical embodiment of male virility..."

"Spike..!" Twilight blushed, laughing and covering her face. "I have to act like I don't know my brother is hung like Grogar, or ponies get the wrong idea."

"How do you think I feel?" Spike laughed. "I was head-high to those things for years, wasn't looking where I was going and got clobbered in the face with 'em once..."

Twilight snorted and buried her face in her hooves in second-hoof embarrassment. "Oh my gosh, that happened with Pinkie and Discord once."

"Discord?!" Spike guffawed. "Oh that's terrible."

"I've never seen him so bashful before," Twilight giggled. "For the first time in his life he was a perfect gentlecolt, apologizing over and over. And Pinkie was..." she dissolved into snorts, "She was just going 'Pfft! Bleh! Ew! Plflflt!' She jumped in the river. Oh gosh, all of us were so embarrassed."

The two of them laughed together before Spike sniffled and looked back at her. "Thanks, Twilight," he wavered with watery eyes. "I wish my Twilight was a bit more level-headed like you."

"I'm level-headed?" Twilight blinked. "I've been freaking out every second I've been here... If I meet up with yours, I'll let her know you need --" she paused, making a distasteful face. "-- you need more platonic, familial love."

"Yeah," Spike grimaced. "Yeah, that'd be nice..."

"And hell, you know what," Twilight scoffed, rising. "Bone Rarity too, she needs to get laid bigtime and not a soul will be surprised to hear you two did it."

She headed up the stairs, yawning, leaving Spike bashfully silent behind her.