Twilight's Diamond Daughter

Chapters

Chapter One: Trouble At The Rich Household
Chapter Two part 1: Filthy Gets Served
Chapter Two part 2: A Dramatic Meeting
Chapter Three part 1: A Friend In Need...
Chapter Three part 2: Final Arrangements
Chapter Four part 1: Day Of Departure
Chapter Four part 2: First Day With Twilight
Chapter Five part 1: 'Quality' Time With Spike
Chapter Five part 2: An Alicorn's Proposal
Chapter Six part 1: Diamond Decides
Chapter Six part 2: Leaving For Canterlot
Chapter Seven part 1: Parting Of The Ways
Chapter Seven part 2: Absent Friends.
Chapter Eight part 1: A Rough Ride.
Chapter Eight part 2: House Rules.
Chapter Nine Part 1: My Fair Filly.
Chapter Nine Part 2: Filly Steps
Chapter Ten part 1: Silver Spoon's Lament
Chapter Ten Part 2: Filthy Lays It On The Line

Chapter One: Trouble At The Rich Household

Celestia’s sun shone brightly on Ponyville as ponies began waking up for another day of work, play and friendship.

All around the small town, the bustle of a happy community could be heard beginning to stir: stretching, yawning, brushing teeth, smashing alarm clocks…

In the most prestigious and therefore largest house in town though, things weren’t looking quite as sunny… particularly for the youngest resident there.

…………………...

Diamond Tiara slung the saddlebag over her shoulder, staring at the empty space between her exercise book and pencil case with a long sigh.

They’re fighting again.

This meant no lunch for the day yet again, and she’d have to resort to begging for a few extra scraps from her best friend, Silver Spoon.

It’s a good job her dad’s a chef so she always brings too much food, otherwise…

Diamond’s belly seemed to rumble in response to her statement, and a small blush appeared on her face.

How did things ever get this far? I know Daddy is refusing to hire any servants at the moment, but at least he could’ve kept on dear old R-Randolph…

Diamond swiftly dried away a couple of stray tears that had appeared, and a firm look of resolve replaced the flushed cheeks that’d been there just a moment earlier.

No. I can’t dwell on the past. This is the way things are now. I’m a grown up filly, very nearly ten, and I can look after myself. Now, what can I bring today which could pass as a snack…

Diamond made a quick scout of all the cupboards in her vast kitchen, not entirely surprised to find them completely bare.

After all, when you have no staff to restock them, a father who was always at work or abroad and a mother who didn’t really do anything except attend to her ‘personal needs’, this tends to be the end result.

Oh well. Bruised banana it is again. Diamond grabbed the only vaguely edible thing in the house from the fruit bowl before skulking outside, taking one last look behind her.

At least the house is quieter now. Yesterday was… something else. I hope they don’t notice the dark patches under my eyes at school. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep up with all the questions…

…………………….

“Tough night again, huh Di?”

“Yep, Silv.”

“You know you can talk to me whenever you want…” Silver Spoon purposefully joined her hoof with her friend’s in an act of solidarity.

Sometimes it was useful, having their desks next to each other since First Grade.

“I know. And I appreciate it. But there isn’t much to say. Screaming contest. Ended in a tie. Doors slammed. Walls banged. The earmuffs you loaned me helped some, but not much. I think I might’ve nodded off for an hour, around dawn…”

“Did anypony even come to tuck you in?”

Diamond’s morose shake of the head almost made Silver regret she asked it, but she hated to see her friend suffer like this and was determined not to let the matter drop.

“Di, this… this isn’t right. What’s happening to you, I mean.”

“I know Silv, but what am I supposed to do about it?”

“It’s been going on for over a month now, hasn’t it? I know I promised not to say anything, but if you think I’m going to watch my best friend starve to death while being deprived of sleep…”

“D-Don’t be so dramatic, Silver Spoon.” Diamond rarely called her bestie by her full name, but this was one such occasion where for accentuation it was necessary. “They’ll make up and things will get back to how they used to be, you’ll see! It’s just taking a bit longer for that to happen this time.”

“Yeah, a lot longer.” Silver hissed, narrowing her eyes. “And usually, it’s a lot easier to pick one side over the other. But I can’t believe Filthy sent all your hired help home, just because Spoiled refused to do the dishes one night! Can’t he see that his rash decision has affected you, a lot more than your mum? These stupid, tit-for-tat arguments...”

“It’s strange, the things you miss with nopony around to wait on you hoof and foot. Clean bedding. Regular meals. Halls without spider webs…” Diamond turned her head away momentarily to reminisce on ‘the good old days’. “I must admit, I never thought Daddy would do anything like that.”

“Di, it’s ridiculous that such a wealthy filly should live like a peasant! Haven’t you tried talking to them? Don’t they see how you’re suffering?”

“It’s a bit difficult to know what they’re thinking, when they spend most of their time away or refusing to leave their separate rooms.” Diamond revealed her parents’ status of sleeping apart from a fortnight ago was no passing fad. “...And I’m not stepping outside while they’re fighting, and fragile stuff is flying everywhere! I’d rather trot into a warzone.”

“I don’t want to say the word, but the way things sound right now, there’s only one way this is going to end. It starts with a ‘D’, and rhymes with ‘recourse’.” Silver Spoon didn’t want to upset her friend even more, but she felt cold, hard reality had to set in at some point.

Only Diamond didn’t seem to agree. “Oh, Silv. Believe me when I say, that’s the very last thing that could happen. Do you think Daddy wants to give half of his hard-earned property and wealth to Mummy? And Mummy is far too stubborn to do anything but fight Daddy all the way. With me as a pawn somewhere in-between, of course. I’m actually not sure which is worse: the situation the way it is now, o-or…”

“Good morning, class! I hope your weekends went well.” Miss Cheerilee walked in at that moment to start lessons, and her jolly voice provided a huge contrast to Diamond’s depressive tone. “Now, I hope you all remembered your homework. Snails? I’m talking to you in particular. Please tell me you didn’t forget again.”

“U-uh, sorry Miss. I didn’t do it. But I’m a top athlete now, or something. So I have no time for silly things like addition, subtraction or evolution. Yeah, that’s it!” Snails recited the exact excuse his buddy Snips thought of for him before the pair entered class, being rewarded with a ‘hoofs up’ by the smaller colt seated nearby for his troubles.

“...Be that as it may, even buckball players need an education. Sorry Snails, but I’m afraid you’re still going to have to do the work. In your own time, in detention this afternoon. And seeing as Snips is such an ‘inspiration’ to you, perhaps he’d like to join us?” Cheerilee was clearly not in the mood for tolerating any nonsense, and moved swiftly on whilst an angry Snails stared daggers at a sheepish Snips.

“I’d also like to congratulate the winners of our tinned food drive to help the needy: The Cutie Mark Crusaders for the third year in a row…”

“Aw, it was nothing! We just work together well, that’s all!” Sweetie Belle beamed with pride at their accomplishments.

“Three cheers for us! Hip hip, hurray! Hip hip...” Scootaloo was considerably less modest.

“We would’ve gotten even more, if Scoots hadn’t crashed on the way here, dentin' and smashin’ half of the cans…” Apple Bloom was more prone to honesty, as befit her sister’s Element.

“...Hurray!! Thanks, Apple Bloom. ” Scootaloo finished off her self-congratulatory stanza there with a frown, as she hoped to keep the loose wagon attached to her vehicle and subsequent mess a secret for a bit longer.

“I see. So you’re the ones responsible for all the tomato puree stains I saw on the road this morning. I dare say that calls for a bit of an all town clean-up, an act of kindness I’m sure the three most generous fillies in class would be happy to contribute towards.” Cheerilee smiled as the Crusaders groaned, for she was sure as bad as they felt now, the next piece of big news would make everything better.

“Next on the agenda, we have a special Guest Speaker today. They’re waiting outside right now, to deliver what I’m sure will be a talk all of you will want to hear. I appreciate this is all a bit at short notice, but when you discover who it is…”

“Ooh! Is it Joy Sticks, the greatest gamer ever to have lived?” Button Mash waved his hoof in the air with excitement and expectation.

“Could it be Filly Fonka? Her chocolate-shaped heart candy is just the best!” Twist gazed through her glasses with eagerness at receiving sweet-making tips from a true pro.

“Ooh! Ooh! Miss!!” Class president Pipsqueak was the next to draw the attention of his teacher.

“Let me guess, Pip. You want it to be the prime minister of Trottingham? Well, I’m afraid, as interesting as it would be to hear about your hometown…”

“No, that’s not it Miss. Could I nip to the loo please?!” Pip turned a shade of beetroot as a few assorted snickers arose around him.

“Yes, of course you can Pip. As for the rest of you, pipe down. For as much as you may try, you could never guess who our guest is. She’s come straight down here today from a very big occasion, in fact you might say this is her first engagement since her new prestigious role. Please, all of you welcome…”

“I’m sorry, but can I come in now? Surely you’ve had enough time to introduce me, and… what the…” A somewhat bemused Princess Twilight Sparkle had to jump out of the way as the patched form of Pip galloped past her feet, before observing an entire class of colts and fillies pick their jaws off the floor.

“Um… hi?”

…………………………..

Whoever told Twilight that visiting the Ponyville Schoolhouse in her debut appearance as ruler of Equestria was a nice, easy job…

Well, let’s just say their tenure in court probably wouldn’t last very long.

They wanted to tug her mane. Grab onto her fetlocks. Hang precariously from her horn. Try on her crown.

And there were questions. Oh, so many questions.

“How many bits do you have now?”

“Can you make school illegal?”

“Who made your dress for the coronation? It was beautiful!”

“What’s this strange white stuff coming out of my left ear whenever I burp?”

“As much as I had before. No. Rarity, and… t-that’s not exactly my area of expertise. Apologies.” Twilight sweat more during this job than during most of her world-saving missions, and as she slowly became overwhelmed with tiny bodies reached one inescapable conclusion.

The real hero here is Miss Cheerilee. First item on the agenda when I get back to Canterlot: give all good teachers a raise. By Celestia, they’ve earned it.

There was one notable exception to all the throngs of kids amassed around the alicorn shouting random stuff at her, though.

Well, not if you counted the greyish filly parked by her side.

Twilight was more distracted by her seated pink friend, though. There was something not quite right about this forlorn child’s lost expression, and the way she nervously glanced to the side whenever the alicorn shot a look in her direction…

My instinct tells me something is seriously troubling her, Twilight concluded, as she removed a dangling Featherweight from her tail by way of magical levitation. And I would be no Princess Of Friendship worth the name if I didn’t look into the situation straight away.

She finally managed to free herself from her vast fanclub, before trotting over to offer a friendly smile at the cagey pink filly and her protective friend.

“Hi there. I couldn’t help but notice, something appears to be weighing heavily on your mind. I don’t want you to feel obligated to tell me anything, but you know how the saying goes: ‘a problem shared is a problem’...”

“Di doesn’t want to talk to you.” Silver Spoon put it bluntly, coming between Diamond and the alicorn in a surprise act of defiance. “If she did, she would’ve come over and said something when you’d arrived. So why don’t you go back over there, and…”

“Silv, it’s okay.” A downbeat Diamond Tiara lifted her head slowly to address both her concerned companions. “ Hello, Princess Twilight. Sorry about my friend, but she’s only looking out for me. Also, please don’t worry about me: I’ll be fine. After all, what are the problems of a small filly compared to running an entire kingdom? Thanks for your concern, but it’s not necessary. Please return to the others. I’m sure they have lots more to ask you about.”

Twilight could have done that with ease… walk away, and not given the crestfallen pink filly another thought.

Anyone who knew Twilight at all though could tell you: that was never going to happen.

“Now, you listen to me… Di-Diamond Tiara, is it?” Twilight spotted the filly’s cutie mark and put two and two together. “You are just as important to me as any other creature in this land, and just because I’m the Princess Of Equestria now it doesn’t change my priorities one bit. If anything, my new position enables me to help even more ponies, so if you think I’m leaving here today without finding out why one of my youngest subjects is looking so bedraggled, tired and hungry, you’ve got another thing coming. Didn’t Miss Cheerilee ask you about this...?”

Taken aback by Twilight’s genuine concern for her well-being (quite rare these days), Diamond couldn’t help but blurt out the truth. “S-She did, but I lied and said it was because I was working on my science project late. D-Don’t blame her for what’s happening Princess Twilight, the rest of the class keep her busy and I’m only one filly…”

“It’s alright. I understand.” Twilight now remembered the child from a run-in they’d had when she was a humble librarian, and though it was a while ago she was amazed at how selfless and mature the filly seemed now compared to before. “I do need to know ‘what’s happening’ though, as like it or not, your safety is now the main focus of my visit. Do you suppose we can have a little chat outside, if you feel up to it and your friend is willing to let you go?”

Diamond immediately glanced over to an eavesdropping Silver, who silently nodded her approval of Diamond’s planned next move after everything she’d heard. If anyone can help out my best friend, it’s the Princess. Good look, Di. And thank you, Twilight.

“O-Okay, let’s go.” Diamond simply stated, and together she and Twilight navigated crowds of protesting fillies and colts on their way out. “It’s not fair!” “Why does she get to have a private audience, and we don’t?” “Hang on… we’re some of Twilight’s best friends! We can see her whenever we like! What are we gettin’ so upset about?!”

(No prizes for guessing that last speaker was Apple Bloom regaling the other Crusaders with simple facts they’d apparently forgotten.)

Meanwhile, Diamond and Twilight had found a convenient separate classroom close by, and now they sat next to each other as the alicorn waited patiently for her younger companion to begin talking.

“In your own time, dear.”

“W-Well, let’s see. It probably all started the day Mother came home late, having spent all the money Daddy kept for a rainy day on a new wig. Put it this way: he wasn’t very happy. But what was different this time, he started shouting at me too...”

…………………………

A little later on, the mare in question was busy just a few doors away making some very tough decisions.

As the head of the school board, such epic responsibilities fell to her on a regular basis.

And how she loved dealing with them in her own inimitable style.

“...Cancel lunchtimes on alternate days to make up the difference then, if the school needs to save money! When I was a filly I had plenty of reheated leftovers from the day before! What’s wrong with a bit of cold slop now and then? It’ll remind them what’ll happen in the future if they don’t work hard enough…!”

None of Spoiled Rich’s craven underlings in the meeting had the heart or courage to tell her she didn’t exactly get to where she was today by ‘working hard’, and agreed with her as a single unit before rapidly scribbling down her suggestion on their jotter pads.

“...And bring me a better office chair! This so-called luxury leather feels like sandpaper! Finally, who brings me my glass of water every morning? Yes, you! Didn’t I tell you I wanted ice cubes with it?”

“B-But I thought that I…”

“Cubes? These were more like circles, with all the edges chopped off! You’re fired! Does anypony here disagree with my decision? Because if you do… you’re fired also! No room in this operation for slackers or idiots. Now get out, the lot of you! And don’t let me see any of your useless faces for the rest of the day!”

You could’ve heard a pin drop in there as every slouched head made their way outside, while an irate Spoiled slammed the door behind them before reclining in her ‘uncomfortable’ chair.

But later, out of earshot of ‘The Abominable One’, they’d swap observations that ever since the trouble with her husband she’d been even worse than before…

A state of affairs the underpaid interns thought was nigh-on impossible. But, there they were.

“You just can’t get the help, these days.” Spoiled bemoaned, whilst providing herself momentary amusement by swiveling around. “Still, at least it gives me the chance to work off some of the aggression I get from having to share a house with him. Talk about unreasonable! All I want is to be provided for while he’s away, and he can’t even do that?! Oh, where did it all go wrong for us…”

An exceedingly rare look of regret crossed Spoiled lips, and after double-checking to make sure nopony else was present, she flipped the blinds on her window and reached into her hidden drawer to retrieve something very special.

“Gold nugget… no. Wind-up teeth… must have confiscated them from one of Cheerilee’s lot. Nose-hair trimmers… not what I’m looking for, but they may come in handy later. Ah. Here it is!”

It was a framed picture of Spoiled and Filthy’s wedding day, taken a long time ago when she was known as Spoiled Milk. Smiling with a bottle of bubbly in one hoof, her loving hubby in the other and completely surgery-free, she almost didn’t recognise herself in the cherished image.

After staring wistfully at the picture for a good few seconds, she finally snapped to her senses. Oh, fiddlesticks! This is no time to be a sentimental old sap! You have papers to grade, unruly pupils to suspend, a new piece of furniture to order. Better put this back now, and... “What?!”

“T-There’s somepony here to see you, M-Miss.” Spoiled Rich’s careful plans had been interrupted by her shaking secretary Ink Blot, who always seemed on the verge of bolting in the presence of her brusque employer.

Most right-minded ponies wouldn’t blame her, however.

“What did I tell you and the rest of those fools? I said I didn’t want to be disturbed under any circumstances!!” roared Spoiled, as she swiftly crossed the room to confront her employee almost muzzle-to-muzzle.

“I-I k-know, b-but…” Ink Blot might have changed her name to Nervous Wreck, with the amount of stammering and trembling she displayed right now.

Just before Spoiled could utter her favourite two words in the local language to the soon-to-be-jobless secretary though…

“That’s enough, Mrs Rich! I can see your daughter wasn't overexaggerating about your conduct towards others after all…”

An obviously irritated Twilight made her way inside Spoiled’s office uninvited and sat down by her desk, whilst the usually abrasive Earth pony was for once completely lost for words.

“You’re… you’re…”

“Yes, I am Twilight Sparkle. But more importantly, an advocate for your daughter. Please call your husband, and tell him the three of us need to have an urgent heart-to-heart regarding her welfare. I have a feeling the situation may be even worse than I first feared…”

Author's Note

?? I don't know what happened with this one, but here it is with hopefully a non-copyrighted front cover and a bit extra added to it. :twistnerd:

Get ready for tears, laughter, l-o-n-g chapters and plenty of surprises along the way. Enjoy! :pinkiehappy:

Chapter Two part 1: Filthy Gets Served

It’d been a hard few months for Filthy Rich, owner and face behind the reputable franchise known as Barnyard Bargains.

For starters, sales were down. Like, way down. At least 30% in fact, at this time last year. Filthy was aware of this, because the latest projection graph resembled a colt falling off a particularly steep mountain. With a lot of peaks and troughs.

Whether this was to do with the new ‘bigger and better’ logo in huge upper-case font being too intimidating, the shortage of certain best-sellers due to a bad local harvest or the recent Farmer’s Paradise store which had just been set up determined to undercut their cheapest prices, things weren’t looking too good at all.

And until he could find a way to set profits back on track, some difficult decisions were going to have to be made which would impact everypony working there.

First, all non-essential services, like the deli counters and free parking, would have to be ditched straight away. In terms of staffing, most of the employees had agreed to take on temporary pay cuts, until business picked up again.

Unfortunately, some redundancies had to be made as part of the overall package… and Filthy would never forget the sense of guilt and betrayal he felt watching some of his most loyal long-standing workers leave the building in tears with their possession-laden cardboard boxes.

To think, most of those ponies have got families to feed. Filthy thought sadly, realising it was all too easy to forget sometimes the struggles of the working class. The worst thing I’ve had to do is cancel our annual vacation so I can turn this franchise’s fortunes around. What’s that, compared to not being able to pay even the most basic bills?

Of course, this led to him being given the hairdryer treatment by his wife (where she basically vented hot air into his face for the best part of an hour) but his mind had been made up. As CEO and head of Barnyard Bargains it was his job to return it to some level of sustainability…

...And besides, it would look pretty bad if he was spotted skiing near Yakyakistan, when so many of his ex-staff were facing a future of destitution and poverty. The paparazzi could be lurking everywhere, and bad headlines are the last thing I need right now with everything else going on.

‘Everything else’ obviously included the stressed-out stallions' current familial woes, and it was with a heavy heart he admitted it was becoming more and more difficult to avoid taking his work mood home with him.

Usually, nopony was better at keeping the two separate. Rich Mansion was looked upon as a sanctuary of peace, a break from the monotonous drudgery of work and a chance to ‘hang out’ with his precious jewel Diamond Tiara.

The anticipation of Daddy-Daughter time was what truly got him through all those boring meetings and tedious stocktaking. Even whilst far away from home, the mere thought of his darling filly galloping up the path to embrace him halfway was enough to put a spring in his step.

That was before all the pressure of the last few months had gotten to him, though. Not just the lack of bits coming in, but also the board of directors openly losing faith in his leadership. He’d even heard the chairpony whisper something about ‘early retirement’ in an off-the-cuff remark before he’d entered the meeting room, and never in his long illustrious career had he felt so vulnerable.

Those ungrateful… do any of those faceless suits really think they could do any better sailing this ship through such uncertain economic waters? I’ll show them. I’ll show them all… that was the moment the formerly mild-mannered Filthy Rich snapped, and resolved to transform himself into the kind of ruthless businesspony no puffed-up bureaucrat would want to mess with.

This meant (as much as he hated doing it) being even more uncompromising with the lay-offs, reducing lots more prices to attract extra customers (hadn’t worked yet, but word-of-mouth would surely get around) and…

...Much longer hours at work, so he could get to the bottom of this current crisis and demonstrate to the board that nopony was better equipped to deal with the situation than the one in post right now.

What would my grandpappy Stinkin’ Rich say, if I allowed his own company that he built from the ground-up to be stolen from us like this? He’d haunt me ‘til the end of my days, that’s what. Whatever it takes, that ain’t going to happen.

Sadly, his solemn vow ‘whatever it takes’ had far more of a profound effect on his life and his loved ones than he could’ve imagined.

This meant not only was he away a lot more often, but when he was at home, his usually calm and clear-headed approach to life had been transformed into an anxious and panicky outlook which caused him to snap at anycreature within earshot at the slightest provocation.

This mostly meant Spoiled, who’d suddenly found herself being answered back at a lot more by her previously weak and compliant husband.

Needless to say, she didn’t take this kind of ‘unacceptable’ treatment lying down… so a war of words eventually developed into a battle of wills, and finally the entire mansion turned into a shooting gallery with expensive objets d’art being used in lieu of bullets.

Before Filthy knew what was happening, things were really spinning out of control. One night, after an especially blatant example of Spoiled’s pettiness, he’d dismissed his entire retinue of servants. Whether he’d hoped to teach her a lesson or show how far he’d go to prove a point, who can say.

What was clear by now though, is that neither side was backing down an inch. And with the rest of his attention firmly focused on the upheaval at work…

It means my precious Diamond isn’t getting the love or support she deserves. I even lose my temper with her sometimes, for no apparent reason. If only there was an easier way to deal with all this, without placing her in the firing line... Filthy thought morosely, as the pencil he’d already chewed to a nub snapped in his mouth.

Yuck! That tastes disgusting! But still better than my home cooking. The sooner I hire the cooks back, the better. I refuse to kowtow in the face of my wife ever again, though. It’s time the horseshoes were on the other hooves. I’ll show her I’m no longer the pathetic milksop I’ve been all these years…!

Filthy’s remorseful thoughts of his daughter’s treatment went out of his head once more, as yet again his internal focus was trained on being ‘tougher’. To both preserve his livelihood at work, and put Spoiled in her place once and for all. It was pretty clear where his priorities lay at the moment...

...But this new ‘confident’ way of thinking could be set to cost him.

Big time.

“Sir, your wife is here…” Filthy’s own secretary Feather Quill strolled into his office, a good less jittery and mumbling than Spoiled’s equivalent.

“H-Huh?” Filthy almost jumped out of his seat upon hearing this ‘shock’ news. Usually, Mrs Rich wouldn’t be caught dead inside any of his ‘common’ shops: exclusive boutiques were more her style. “Is the school on fire? Has something happened to our daughter? Does she need more funds… in fact, scratch the other two. It’s definitely that last one. Well you can tell her what I told her this morning: if she thinks she can browbeat me like the doormat I was not so long ago, she can…”

“No, I don’t believe it’s anything like that…” Feather Quill had to suppress a grin at her employer’s unprompted outburst there. There were some who didn’t like this ‘new and improved’ Filthy, but she wasn’t among them. “I think it’s more to do with a parental meeting at the school…”

“With Cheerilee? But why is she bothering me about that now? Parents’ Open Day isn’t until next Spring…”

“...As I was going to say, it’s with Princess Twilight Sparkle. ...I know, I had to double check the details too.”

“WHAT?!” The small amount of customers inside Barnyard Bargains glanced in the direction of Filthy’s office with curiosity, while the tillers stopped scanning items temporarily to murmur to each other in whispers.

“Why do you think the boss just…” “Remember who's visiting him.” “Spoiled Rich? Say no more.” “Poor chap. I’d have probably hung myself by now.” “I’d say the odd bit of random shouting is the least he deserves.” “Show’s over, everypony. Now, let’s get back to work.”

For a change though, it wasn’t the stuck-up mare that’d caused Filthy to yell out loud in surprise and consternation.

Why would Twilight want to see me and Spoiled about our daughter, so soon after her coronation? Hasn’t she got better things to do, like run the nation? What could possibly be so important, that she’d go to all this effort to put us in a room together?

But whatever the reason behind the alicorn’s invitation, one thing was for certain: he’d have to attend.

Because one simply doesn’t refuse an offer from the Princess Of Equestria.

Although something at the back of his mind nagged him, he was still sure whatever the ‘misunderstanding’ involving his darling filly was, it could easily be cleared up with a bit of Rich family charm and a quick chat.

After all, she’s a young alicorn fresh to the throne. I don’t think she’d want to ‘rock the boat’ too much this early on in her reign. What could possibly go wrong?

Little knowing of course, that despite recent events, this would be by far the hardest meeting he’d ever be involved with.

And, by far the most personal too.

Author's Note

From this point on, each chapter will be divided into two distinct parts. Each will hopefully cover all sides and perspectives of the drama that is set to unfold...

...Speaking of which, next part of Ch2 is the big one. Brace yourselves... :twilightoops:

Chapter Two part 2: A Dramatic Meeting

“Princess Twilight Sparkle? Wants to see both of us? Inside her old castle? Right now?!”

“Why are you repeating what I just told you, Filthy? Do you honestly think I would’ve interrupted my busy schedule to come here if it wasn’t something of the utmost importance? Yes, she said that to me from her own lips!”

“...What have I told you before about calling me ‘Filthy’, Spoiled? And you? Busy?! That’ll be the day you learn about a little something called empathy! Whatever could've happened for the Princess to arrange this? I suppose you had something to do with it…”

“Hmph! I’ll have you know, Filthy, I’ve spent all morning putting the incompetent idiots who work for me in line. Then, just as I’m starting to relax, up pops Her Majesty without so much as a ‘Hi, can I come in’ and tells me she needs to see us immediately! I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice but I’ll say it again: those royals think they can get away with everything!”

“Spoiled. I know Twilight quite well through Applejack, and I don’t think she’d organise anything like this without a special reason. You haven’t been helping our daughter cheat on her exams again, have you?! She’s smart enough to pass herself! She doesn’t need her mother ‘cooking the books’ for her…”

“T-That was only the one time, Filthy! She was going to finish behind that pegasus with a death wish, who’s always being picked up by her two weird aunties. How do you think that would’ve gone down at the next Grand Galloping Gala? Prince Blueblood would’ve laughed his crown off! Our ‘Shining Diamond’ finishing second place to a… a…”

“...Stop that kind of talk right now.” Filthy suspended his headlong trot towards the Castle Of Friendship to glower unimpressed at his wife. “The last time you used that sort of discriminatory language, Diamond picked up on it and got in a lot of trouble. Do not judge others by their ‘disabilities’, but by the content of their character. How would you like it if our precious filly was born with three legs instead of four? Would you love her any less?”

“N-No. No of course, I wouldn’t.” For the first time in an epoch Spoiled looked somewhat ashamed of herself, and her husband relished his temporary moral victory. “...But that aside, Scooter-something comes from a completely different class! It just isn’t the ‘done’ thing, a pony of Diamond Tiara’s breeding and class failing to best a commoner! Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’ve mostly given up on trying to nurture our daughter in my image, since her disgraceful rant to me outside the schoolyard.”

“...And for that, I think we can all be grateful.” Filthy seemed content to wander on ahead, as he continued conversing with his chastened wife. “So you’re telling me, you have absolutely no idea what this meeting is about, in regards to Diamond? Actually, why am I asking you this? Even if you told me ‘no’, I still wouldn’t believe you.”

“Oh, hark Mr Goodie-Four-Shoes Rich! For all we know, maybe it’s your constant absences from home which are making Diamond act out! Not to mention, getting rid of all our servants at the drop of a hat! It can’t be good for her, not having dear old Randolph around to tend to her needs. She’s known him all her life…” Spoiled felt that Filthy had too much to say for himself, and was determined to redress the balance.

“Ha! You have some nerve, Spoiled! Is this the same ‘dear old Randolph’ you were determined to put out to pasture until recently? And don’t worry about him: he and the rest of the staff are on full pay until their return. If you want them back, all you have to do is apologise, and promise not to be such a demanding nag from now on. Not too difficult, I’d say. Though, maybe for you…”

“Apologise for what, Filthy? I haven’t done anything wrong! You’re the pony running around the mansion, picking up our most priceless artefacts and then smashing against the wall like a crazy pony!”

“Don’t pretend you don’t give as good as you get, Spoiled! Besides, I never wanted any of that junk in the first place. I only bought it to shut you up and get a bit of peace in return. Why do you think I was away at work so often? Not just to get a break from you, but to earn more money to pay for it all!”

“Why, you… I never asked you to do any of that!”

“What? How were you planning to pay for that stuff? Ask your folks in the Old Country working on the dairy for a loan? A likely story!”

“Ooh… you just had to bring them up again, didn’t you? I swear, Filthy you make me so mad sometimes!”

“Spoiled, you make me mad all the time. Do I win the jackpot?”

“A-hem. Sorry to butt in on your ‘friendly’ discussion, but Twilight Sparkle will see you now.”

Unbeknownst to the warring duo, they’d already walked the moderate distance to the castle in the midst of their bickering, and a clearly unamused Spike hovered in the air waiting to usher them through the front door.

The drake’s sudden appearance in front of a startled Spoiled and Filthy succeeded in unnerving the former so much she instinctively dived for cover behind her husband, thinking it was some kind of vicious beastie who’d taken a liking to her flesh.

Filthy rolled his eyes at the sight of Spoiled’s penchant for overdramatisation. “Thank you, Spike. And do get up, Spoiled. This is the Princess’s new Chief Advisor. If you want to social climb like you always say, then you’ll treat him with respect.”

“I-I see.” Spoiled gulped with embarrassment, realising she’d messed up again. “Sorry, I’m a bit out-of-sorts today, Dragon. I have so much on my mind right now, it’s hard just thinking straight. Can you tell us what this is all about, please?”

“Twilight will explain everything to you once you’re inside. Just follow the main corridor down to the Map Room at the end. Please don’t go upstairs, because Starlight’s having a nap. And if you de-alphabetise my comic collection or go through my gems… I will find out. So be warned.”

“Erm... okay?” Spoiled and Filthy had a rare ‘moment’ together where they gazed at each other in utter bewilderment, but they didn’t have too long to dwell on it as Spike allowed them to pass.

It wasn’t too hard to find what they were looking for. The biggest room in the castle by far, with a big magical table in the middle complete with seven chairs.

Sitting at the head of it in her own personally engraved seat was the alicorn herself, Twilight Sparkle. Being an unpretentious leader unused to the trappings of fame, she didn’t insist on her guests bowing or curtsying as they entered hesitantly, already feeling slightly starstruck.

Instead, she motioned for them to be seated anywhere they wanted (for what it was worth, Spoiled took Rainbow Dash’s throne and Filthy had Fluttershy’s) before getting right to the point.

“Hello there, Mr and Mrs Rich. Sorry to call you both away from what I’m sure were both very important jobs, but this is a matter of some urgency that simply can’t be put off. I am of course referring to your daughter Diamond Tiara, and the very difficult living situation she’s in at the moment…”

“Wait a minute.” Spoiled scowled, some of her initial nervousness beginning to ebb away from pure petulance. “How did you come to be involved in our personal business? And is this really part of your job description, to be a Marriage Counselor? If we felt we had problems, we could just go and hire a professional. We do have a lot of money...”

“It is my ‘business’ when a filly is suffering malnourishment symptoms and sleep deprivation because of her parents' constant fighting!” Twilight fired back firmly before Spoiled could boast some more. “Whatever you and Filthy Rich are going through in your relationship should be private, that’s true. But it becomes a whole different matter when it affects the life of somepony as young as Diamond Tiara. That’s when I, as a duty of care, have to step in to find out what’s going on.”

“W-Wait. Why did she never tell us any of this herself? I-If she’d only said something, I-I could’ve…” Filthy suddenly felt like his entire world had come to a screeching halt. “If only I’d known. I-I..”

“From what I understand, she’s been trying to talk to you both about it for weeks, but instead of listening you both shut yourselves away or shouted over her voice. You know, a piece from one of those pots you threw during your last argument smashed and grazed her forehead while she was in the room. If the fragment had hit a few inches lower, she could’ve had a serious eye injury.”

“N-No…” Filthy gasped with horror at what he’d just heard, and even Spoiled put her hoof to her mouth at the thought of almost blinding her daughter.

“It’s completely true, I’m afraid. But don’t worry: she put some healing ointment on it herself and she’s right as rain now. That’s a very intelligent filly you have there, and you both should be very proud of her. But nopony that young should be expected to take care of herself alone, no matter how independent she thinks she is. Which is why I was even more saddened when I saw just how skinny and tired she was. When was the last time she had a proper meal? Or even, a good night’s rest?”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I blame my husband completely. If he hadn’t sent away our chefs, then maybe our darling daughter wouldn’t be starving to death.” Spoiled smugly said in response, as though this debate was some kind of point-scoring exercise. “Plus, you should hear his voice bellow once he gets going. It’s so much louder than mine! Honestly dear, there are days when I wish I was a free and single mare like you. You don’t realise how lucky you are…!”

“I see.” Twilight scowled at a smirking Spoiled Rich’s pitiful attempts to curry favour with her. “I agree that getting rid of all your staff over a minor dispute seems a bit silly, but you seem to be doing okay in terms of your weight, Mrs Rich. Let me ask: how have you been managing for food lately? Have you been preparing it yourself? And if so, why didn’t you make any for your ‘darling daughter’?”

“I-I’ve u-um…” Spoiled’s confident demeanour lasted all of thirty seconds, as she seemed to alternate between telling the truth or a lie which Twilight would surely call her out on later. “...Been dining out at one of the best restaurants in town. There, happy?”

“Oh, is that so? I don’t suppose you thought of taking Diamond some food back with you? Or even inviting her along?” Twilight’s questions to Spoiled weren’t going anywhere fast, particularly as Mrs Rich started hyperventilating and turning a nice shade of scarlet into the bargain.

So instead, the alicorn turned back to Filthy. “As for you Mr Rich, I get that things are tough at home. But surely nothing means more to you than the safety and well-being of your daughter? How could you let the situation get this bad? Wasn’t there a moment where you thought ‘whatever disagreements I might be having with my wife, Diamond Tiara’s welfare is the most important thing’?”

“E-Erm, that isn’t the only reason…” If his spouse was doing a passable impression of a fish out of water, Filthy just stared at his reflection in the crystalline floor, as if hoping it would swallow him up. “T-Things are tough at work, too… a lot of pressure involved. Could lose my business, if I don’t shape up. In my position, you’d probably understand more.”

Upon hearing this excuse, Twilight shook her head sadly. “No Mr Rich, I’m afraid I wouldn’t. I’ve been in plenty of tense situations all over Equestria with my friends, and I can tell you that whatever dangers we’ve faced together, their friendship and love is always at the forefront of my mind. I don’t know how that compares with your job, but as a devoted father, I would hope you would have your priorities straight.”

“Hang on… you don’t even have any children. What makes you an authority on being a parent, all of a sudden?” A flushed Spoiled wasn’t really defending Filthy there, she was just desperate to claw some sense of her former dignity back.

“Well, I have a niece. And if Flurry Heart was suffering, I would drop everything I was doing to be there for her. I know actions speak louder than words, but I’m pretty confident about that. Could you say the same thing?”

“I-I…” Spoiled was caught in a Catch-22 predicament. She would’ve loved to say ‘Of course I would!’ but recent history contradicted that statement.

And she didn’t want to be caught out yet again.

The impact it would have on her sense of self-entitlement could be fatal.

So, she did the wisest thing she’d done all day.

Sat back, and kept quiet.

As for Twilight, she spoke to Filthy once more. “If you’re wondering where Diamond Tiara is right now, don’t worry. She’s staying with Silver Spoon and her parents overnight, while we make arrangements about what’s going to happen next.”

Arrangements? For the second time that day, Spoiled and Filthy stared at each other in silence, although their mutual expressions on this occasion were more ones of outright shock than confusion.

“If you want to know what I meant by that, it’s quite simple. Diamond Tiara cannot possibly return to your home the way things are now. With all the inattention she’s receiving to the detriment of her physical and mental health, plus the ongoing risk of serious injury, it’s not too far a stretch to call it an unsafe environment. Can you swear to me, both of you, from this day forward that whatever your personal grievances, you’ll give her a living space free from harm and insecurity?”

“O-Of course I do! I’m capable of keeping Barnyard Bargains in business, and taking care of my precious Diamond at the same time! You have my word, Princess: from now on, things are going to be very different… as long as certain mares can learn to control themselves once in a while.” Feeling like this was his last chance to make a good impression, Filthy didn’t need to think hard to answer, whilst casting an accusatory side-eye in his wife’s general direction.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Princess. If Filthy were as generous with his money and his time as he was when we first got together, we wouldn’t be in this mess. It was bad enough when those three rotten fillies stole my daughter away, now my own husband is trying to rebel too? If everypony just listened to me and followed my instructions, none of this would be happening. Structure and discipline, that’s what Diamond Tiara needs right now. With me as her sole guide!” Spoiled spoke from the heart, thinking that if she impressed her ideals on a fellow leader in Twilight, she might ‘get it’ and even side with her.

The alicorn in question though didn’t immediately respond. She took a few careful notes, rose from her chair, stared off into the distance…

...Before finally turning and addressing the feuding pair as one.

“Mr and Mrs Rich. If I may be blunt, I’m afraid your answers were… unsatisfactory. Clearly, you both have a lot of major issues to be ironed out that, contrary to your words, will affect your ability to care for Diamond Tiara in the near future. On a more individual level: Filthy, you seem distracted by some problem at work which is preventing you from being the father figure your daughter so desperately needs. As for Mrs Rich, she seems more interested in her self-image and creature comforts than her own filly, but I have a feeling that particular problem may have been present for a while. Regardless, I cannot in good conscience return Diamond to you the ways things are right now at Rich Mansion. As far as I’m concerned, she is in clear and present danger at her present address and must be removed as soon as possible, until facts bear out it is safe for her to return.”

In the next few seconds after this devastating news, silence ruled as Twilight allowed both parents to digest her decision.

First Filthy cried. He cried and he cried, in a most unstallion-like way.

But no-one, not even his most teasing co-workers who’d often mock him for being married to such an overbearing mare, would’ve begrudged him a single tear.

As for Spoiled, her face was a mosaic of emotions. Anger, outrage, frustration… and if you looked up close, real close, you might’ve seen a bit of guilt there too.

“B-But w-where?” were the only words she could force out, as the vein in her head seemed ready to explode.

Twilight turned to face the wall upon hearing this, her lavender hooves gently clacking the reflective surface of the floor.

“That… still has to be determined.”

Author's Note

Dun... DUn... DUN! And it only gets more dramatic from here, as Spoiled and Filthy are forced to come to terms with the consequences of their actions, Diamond Tiara's new life begins and Twilight is about to discover some things can be more difficult that ruling an entire world. :twilightoops:

Keep reading to find out what happens next... (obviously) :twilightsheepish:

Chapter Three part 1: A Friend In Need...

Blissfully unaware of the unedifying spectacle playing out at the Castle Of Friendship, Diamond Tiara was currently ensconced in the comparably calmer environment of Silver Manor, a largish property just on the outskirts of Ponyville.

In terms of size, it was about two-thirds as big as the sprawling Rich Mansion, an inarguable fact that Diamond Tiara used to tease her best friend about mercilessly.

Of course, now their relationship was on a somewhat healthier footing, the pink filly only mentioned it in passing rather than every single day, accompanied by a slight smirk instead of an evilly mocking laugh.

Diamond probably never would completely abandon her old ways, but at least she never purposefully went out to bully anypony anymore and kept her trademark bossiness in check for the most part.

The same couldn’t be said for one of her nearest but not dearest relations however, and that particular pompous mare was who she grumbled about right now...

Much to Silver Spoon’s obvious frustration.

“First, Mummy tells me what to do for years, while Daddy is away. Then, when I finally decide I’m done being a stuck-up snob and actually want to make some new friends, she acts like I’m some kind of total stranger!” Diamond angrily rambled on, whilst waving her hooves around like a windmill. “Is it really so bad for me to do my own thing? I’m not an extension of her, thank Celestia…”

“You know I agree with every word you just said, Di. In fact, I think I heard this exact same rant this time last week. But could you please keep still for just a few moments? This nail varnish is going everywhere…” Silver Spoon’s irritation was mainly because she’d just had her bedroom cleaned. “You know I’m happy to listen if it helps, but when you move around like that it’s very difficult for me to ‘make your hooves sparkle and shine like the stars at night’. Or so, the packaging claims…”

“Oops, sorry Silv.” A sheepish Diamond Tiara immediately stopped fidgeting and extended her hind leg more so her greyish friend could apply the mixture with greater ease. “It’s just, there’s nothing else I can do, other than complain about it. You already know she doesn’t listen to a word I say, and Daddy has his own problems with her so he’s hardly likely to hear mine while they’re fighting. I don’t even get to see him much these days either, because he’s so hard at work…”

“Didn’t Princess Twilight promise she’d help you deal with everything?” Silver Spoon interrupted Diamond before she could embark on another heedless tirade. “I mean, that’s the whole reason she pulled you out of class, isn’t it? To sort out your troubles?”

“She didn’t say very much after I told her the whole story. Just patted me on the head and said she’d ‘see what she could do’.” Diamond pondered aloud, hoping all that painful soul-bearing hadn’t been a waste of time. “Then, she suggested I come here for the night, and said she was going to have a word with your mother about the ‘delicate situation’. Whatever that means.”

“My mum?” Silver Spoon paused her beauty routine momentarily, a look of surprise flashing across her bespectacled features. “I wonder what about?”

The answer possibly arrived with a sudden knock on the door, and before either filly could respond it was swung open to reveal none other than the mare in question, Silver Sterling.

Unlike Spoiled Rich, Sterling worked just as hard as her chef husband Golden Spoon. In fact, as a bank manager employed by the largest firm in Ponyville, it was her who pulled in most of the bits every day whilst he plied his wares at only the finest eateries.

A true power couple, indeed. But in another break from the Rich’s, they’d always had plenty of time for their daughter… something which Diamond had been jealous of for years (she’d mostly dealt with her envy by relentlessly picking on Silver Spoon, something she regretted to this day).

“How are you two doing up here? Oh, are you giving each other makeovers? What fun! Can I join in? I’ve always thought I’d look great as Sapphire Shores. ‘One does get rather bored of having a colourless mane from time to time, you know’.”

“M-Mum!!” Silver Spoon turned a distinct shade of beetroot whilst Diamond subtly chuckled in the background. “Don’t you ever wait, before coming in? If you’re just going to enter, what’s the point in knocking in the first place?”

“As a courtesy, of course. But the way I see it is: if you’ve nothing to hide, it shouldn’t be an issue.” Silver Sterling flicked her tail humorously, just brushing her cutie mark consisting of a big heap of silver coins. “Anyway, when you’ve quite finished making yourselves look fabulous, come downstairs for something to eat. Golden Spoon’s been cooking up a storm in the kitchen, and I’d hate to see all his good work go to waste… Hey Diamond, are you okay?”

Silver Sterling’s concern was borne out by Diamond’s sudden attack of drooling, as the merest thought of potential delicacies on offer in the dining room had led to a thin sliver of saliva dangling from her mouth like loose spider thread.

“E-Er, yes I’m fine. Carry on with what you were saying, please.” Diamond swiftly wiped her lips and smiled assuredly at the worried mare.

“Oh, okay. Well as I said, everything is ready when you are. Try not to be too long, though. Crushed Daisy soup with herbs and spices doesn’t taste half as nice when it’s lukewarm. And those chocolate profiteroles sure aren't going to eat themselves...” rumble

The slight tremor detectable there was not a minor earthquake, but in fact Diamond’s empty belly expressing its anticipation of a much-needed feast. On this occasion the ravenous pink filly didn’t even try covering up her growing hunger, and eagerly turned to Silver Spoon to ask the question.

“Silv, can we…?”

“Sure, Di. It’ll give the first layer a chance to dry, then I can apply the second one.”

“Thanks, Silv! Could you move to the side a bit please, Mrs Sterling? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Silver Sterling barely had enough time to step aside before a rampant Diamond sped off to the ground floor, unable to resist the gnawing hole in her stomach and the tempting aroma of delicious edibles any longer.

After a few seconds had elapsed, Sterling seemed in deep thought for a moment, before trotting over to put a firm hoof on her daughter’s shoulder. “Silver Spoon?”

“Y-Yes…?” The reason behind the grey filly’s nervousness was because her usually jovial mother was never this formal, unless she was about to say something of the greatest importance.

“I’m not sure Princess Twilight wanted me to tell you this, but knowing how mature you are for your age and what a good friend you are to Diamond Tiara, I thought you had a right to know. Diamond might be going through a few… changes in her life very soon, and I want you to be there for her when she needs you the most.”

“Oh, you mean she’s switching bedrooms? Well, Rich Mansion has plenty of those, as I never got tired of hearing. Or she’s getting new servants to replace the one’s her dad got rid of? I know she’ll miss Randolph, but considering how past the age of retirement he was already, maybe it’s for the best…”

“Silver Bronze Spoon!! You aren’t listening to me! When I said ‘changes’, I meant big changes, not the kind of everyday things you just mentioned! Diamond is possibly about to go through a massive upheaval in her life, and she’ll need somepony to talk to and confide in more than ever! I know you already provide that help for her now, but I wanted to give you a heads-up: things might start getting very messy at the Rich’s.”

Silver Spoon was shocked almost into silence upon hearing that, especially the rare use of her full name. “I-I… uh, I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you, my darling, I know you will.” Silver Sterling returned to her usual ebullient self upon receiving these somewhat mumbled words of reassurance. “Now, before you go downstairs, there’s just two more things. Wash your hooves, scrub them, and then…”

“Um, isn’t that three things?”

“Oh, well spotted. I suppose I actually meant three. I want you to clean the varnish off the carpet before you come to the table, too. Our maid can’t do everything, and you know how badly it stains if you leave it overnight.”

“B-But… D-Diamond… s-she…” Silver was just about to inform her mother about her pink-furred friend’s part in spreading the glittery cosmetic everywhere, but Silver Sterling was already gone.

Fuming slightly at having to wipe off the sticky residue all alone, Silver Spoon nevertheless couldn’t help but wonder what lay ahead for her bestie, and her own future role.

Does this mean her parents are getting a divorce, or what? I want Diamond to come to me whenever she has a problem, but I hope things don’t get too complicated over there. I am only four months older than her, after all. I have pressures too: schoolwork, growing-up and a crush I’m not quite ready to admit to yet. Hopefully, Mum is just worrying about nothing, and the situation isn’t quite as bad as she describes. With a Princess on the case now, how can there not be a simpler resolution on the horizon?

Sadly for Silver Spoon (but mostly for Diamond Tiara) the truth was that her mother hadn’t over-exaggerated the dramatic events that were unfolding just across town.

If anything, they were about to get even worse...

Especially if your name ended in ‘Rich’.

Author's Note

In this fic, you're going to hear from every side that's affected by the upcoming tidal wave: Not just Twilight Sparkle, Diamond Tiara and her parents, but also their friends and family too.

Hope that's okay, I just like exploring these type of situations in depth and analysing each characters thoughts and actions, and how they contribute to the plot as a whole...

...While trying to keep it entertaining too, naturally. More soon! :duck:

Chapter Three part 2: Final Arrangements

“B-But you can’t do that! What gives you the right to take my… I mean, our daughter away?” Seeing as Filthy Rich was still sobbing quietly in the background, it was left to Spoiled Rich alone to argue the case against the removal of their first-and-only born.

Some might say they’d lost already.

“Sorry, but my mind is made up. As long as things at Rich Mansion remain as fractious as they are, I cannot in good conscience allow any child to stay there.” Twilight replied firmly, as she walked around the table to face the Rich’s on the opposite side. “She’ll return from the Spoon’s tomorrow, get packed and then be on her way to her new temporary residence. You’ll get chance to say goodbye of course, but it will be strictly supervised…”

“W-Wait! I have an idea! What if… she stays with somepony close to us, who can be trusted to look after her, until we’ve sorted out our ‘differences’?” Filthy Rich stopped sniffling to suddenly sound hopeful again. “Would that be an acceptable compromise?”

“Hmm…” Twilight remained skeptical, but decided it was good manners to hear the tycoon out. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well there’s my reclusive mother, Impossibly Rich. She’d be a great option: caring, compassionate and with even more bits in the bank than me, so don’t worry about her ability to support our precious jewel! There’s only one snag though…”

“...And that is?”

“We never know where she is, from one moment to the next. She might turn up to a party in Las Pegasus, and then not be seen in public again for months. If only we had a permanent address…”

“I see. Well, it sounds to me with her jet-setting lifestyle, looking after a vulnerable filly would be an ‘impossible’ job for Impossibly Rich.” Twilight began to think her initial cynicism of this late proposal was somewhat justified. “Any other suggestions?”

“Erm. Not really, since my father Awfully Rich died a few years ago, and I wasn’t blessed with any other siblings…” Filthy Rich scratched his chin thoughtfully, before an idea unexpectedly popped in his head. “I know! What about Spoiled’s folks? They live on a dairy farm in Fillydelphia, and are so nice! Just think of it: country air, rustic charm, all the fresh eggs she could eat…”

“Ugh! Bite your tongue, Filthy! We are not sending our darling to that dilapidated, dung-ridden old dump! I’d sooner give her up for adoption than let her live with that pair of straw-chewing, jug-blowing, slack-jawed hayseeds! And that’s final!!” Spoiled clearly had issues with her estranged parents, as she showed far more emotion protesting against Diamond staying with them than her daughter’s initial removal.

“...Well, I guess that’s settled then.” Twilight had clearly heard enough of the feuding Rich’s, and motioned to the passageway leading to the front door. “Spike will see you out. Thank you for coming today, and I’m only sorry we had to meet properly under these circumstances. I’ll be around first thing tomorrow to collect Diamond, so please make sure she’s ready out front with whatever she needs. If we don’t have chance to speak again, I wish you both all the best for the future and I only hope you can work things out between you. For your, and your daughter’s sake.”

Filthy gave his wife the most angry of scowls as if she’d ruined their last opportunity of keeping Diamond ‘in the family’, but there was nothing more to be said or done. Heads bowed, they skulked out despondently in single file, while Twilight watched them depart with more than a pang of regret.

It’s sad things had to come to this, but I’m absolutely positive I’m making the correct decision. If something tragic had happened to Diamond, how would I ever have been able to live with myself? I certainly wouldn’t deserve to rule Equestria, that’s for sure. Now the next big problem: where to place Diamond for the near future. Hmm…

Twilight made a mental note to discuss this with the pink filly, just as soon as the news of her relocation had been absorbed and the alicorn felt she was ready for it. In the meantime though, she had two chairs to return to their original positions, a stack of paperwork to do and…

Starlight Glimmer entered at that precise moment, stretching her hooves and blinking in the bright natural light of the Map Room. “Gee, that was a nice rest. So how did it go… that bad, huh? Well, as a former school counsellor let me just say this: you’re doing the right thing. Now, is there any coffee left? There’s something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you, for after you’ve moved to Canterlot full-time. Let’s talk… redecoration.”

………………….

“I don’t get it. What is the big deal about letting Diamond stay at your parents’ farm for a few weeks, while we sort our lives out?” The very moment Spike had shut the door, Filthy raised the only topic on his mind, and he refused to let it drop. “I know you hate them, but Diamond probably wouldn’t. She could have a great time up there, and…”

“Y-You. W-wouldn’t. Understand!!” Spoiled shrieked by way of a response, so much so that a few passers-by stopped in their tracks to stare at her curiously. “I spent all my early life trying to escape, and I’m certainly not sending Diamond there to suffer like I did! And again, how many times have I told you before: I don’t want to talk about this!”

“Oh wait, I get it! You still think they’re beneath you, hence that embarrassing rant you just gave in front of Princess Twilight!” Filthy rolled his eyes and sighed, thinking that he’d solved the mystery. “Also, what did you just mean about Diamond ‘suffering’? Are you saying, she might have to do a few chores for once in her pampered life? Well, if Apple Bloom can get up at the crack of dawn to buck a hundred trees before sunset, I don’t think Diamond should have too much trouble…”

“What did I just say? I don’t feel comfortable discussing this, especially with so much riff-raff listening.” Spoiled spoke the end of that sentence in a noticeably lower pitch, as her previous hysterics were already drawing quite a mixed crowd. “And for your information, comparing our treasure to that Apple girl is such an insult I don’t even know how to respond.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything, I guess. Shame it won’t last.” Filthy might’ve sounded like he was joking, but the deep frown on his ashen face told a different story. “I won’t hear you belittle my best trading partner’s sister, either. She’s the hardest little worker I know, and Barnyard Bargains was built on committed ponies like that. What do you think keeps you supplied with useless trinkets and baubles? If you want bits, you have to earn them. Unless your name is ‘Spoiled Rich’, of course.”

“That’s it! I’m going to the spa for an emergency evening facial and massage session, anything to get away from you!” Deciding that after the tensions of the day she felt fit to collapse, Spoiled unceremoniously turned about to saunter off with her nose in the air. “I need something to unwind, and seeing as how we’re out of alcohol and valium I’m off to see a real stallion who can help! If you want to know who I mean, here’s a clue: his name starts with ‘Bulk’ and ends with ‘Biceps’. See if you can figure it out before I get back. Late!”

Filthy was on the verge of shouting ‘Good Riddance‘ after her, but with the amount of ponies gathered around him wisely decided it was bad form to publicise a big CEO’s marital difficulties.

So, he did the next best thing.

“Hey everycreature, Filthy Rich here! Hope you enjoyed our impromptu show there! If you don’t want to argue with your loved ones, pop down to Barnyard Bargains to get them that special gift! Flowers, confectionery… er, muck-spreaders, we stock everything you could possibly need to avoid an unmendable rift in your relationship like ours. So, how about it? I think I even have some 5% off coupons hidden deep in my waistcoat pocket. First come, first served… sorry in advance about the mothballs.”

Never let it be said the entrepreneurial spirit is dead in trying times, among those who keep the faith.

…………………………………….

“N-No. M-Mother. F-Father… don’t go.”

Some might argue it was the extra-large portion of cheese fondue that made Diamond Tiara toss and turn that night, whilst crying out piteously in her sleep.

But Silver Spoon had digested a similar amount of the gooey dish, and she slumbered peaceably in her bed, her favourite teddy Mr Cuddles safely clutched by her side.

It was almost like her nightmare was caused by an impending feeling that something momentous was about to happen, and her life would never be the same again…

But that, like everything else, would have to wait until tomorrow.

Author's Note

...And the next chapter, which will be coming real soon mark my words. Doncha just love quick updates? :raritywink:

Chapter Four part 1: Day Of Departure

“Hi Mummy, hi Daddy! I had such a terrible dream last… gosh, you seem unusually quiet this morning. Don’t tell me… you made up last night while I was away?”

For a filly that’d not exactly had the most restful of nights, Diamond Tiara was in an unusually chipper mood that morning.

After all, everypony had been so nice to her since she woke up from her nightmare! Silver Spoon didn’t argue back once, Golden Spoon had given her the biggest portion of muesli with extra slices of banana, and Silver Sterling…

Well, Silver Sterling was quite an odd case. She’d seemed on the verge of tears since Diamond had got up, but every time the pink filly had glanced at the mare, she wore a beaming smile almost from ear to ear.

Curiouser and curiouser, Diamond had pondered whilst tucking into her nutritious breakfast. But she decided not to pay the matter too much thought. If whatever happened caused her to be treated like the VIP (Very Important Pony) she truly was, why jeopardise it by interfering?

And when it came for her to be dropped off at Rich Mansion that morning in the Spoon’s wagon… things got even weirder. Silver Spoon had given her the most affectionate of goodbye hugs, and when she’d gone to shake Golden Spoon’s hoof, he’d wished her the ‘best of luck’. Huh?

Silver Sterling meanwhile had continued her bizarre behaviour from earlier, with both her daughter and husband almost having to drag her away in her reluctance to leave. If they want another child around the house so much, why don’t they just have another one? Diamond thought awkwardly, as she bid goodbye to the downcast trio.

Not that she really understood much about the whole icky process of reproduction. From all the whispers she’d heard in the schoolyard though, it sounded pretty confusing anyway. Who leaves fillies and colts under gooseberry bushes? How does a stork carry a full-grown baby across the entire world all by itself? And, where exactly do ‘the birds and the bees’ factor into all of this?

No matter. These were surely questions for another time, one where everypony wasn’t acting like characters from ‘The Twilight Zone’ (one of her favourite mystery comics)...

...And speaking of Twilight, she was there too, but looking quite different than the other day in class. She had on her official Princess robes, and wore the coronation crown upon her regal head. A couple of palace guards were flanked either side, and her stolid expression seemed as unmoving as her parents’.

Okay, something is definitely going on here… Diamond realised all too late, before Filthy Rich uttered those immortal words that would live with her for a long time.

“Honey… we need to talk.”
……………………….

The delicate conversation between father and daughter went exactly as well as you might think.

“No, no, no!! I am not leaving this mansion, and you can’t make me! You and Mummy are going to start loving each other again, I’m going to stay here, and that’s the end of it!”

“B-But sweetheart. Things are never that easy, and Princess Twilight has already decided…”

“I don’t care! She can un-decide then! When I asked her to help me, I didn’t expect this! If I’d known this would happen, I-I…”

“Darling. Please don’t think you did anything wrong for a second. This is on your mother and me, not you. We didn’t listen to you when we argued, you got hurt and we didn’t tend your wounds, you were hungry and we didn’t even feed you. W-We’re failures as parents, a-and n-now…”

“Daddy? Are you… crying?”

“N-No of course not! Don’t you know that a Rich never cries? It’s bad for business to show emotion to the customer, I told you before! I-I just have some dust in my eye, that’s all. Now, shall we pack some of your favourite things together, and put them in your saddle bag? Just think of it as going away to camp for a bit…”

“I’ve never been to camp before, and I’m not about to start now! Besides, where am I even going? You can’t even tell me that, can you?”

“T-That’s Princess Twilight’s area, I don’t have any control over that. But I’m sure it’ll be somewhere nice, and while you’re gone me and Mummy will do our best to make ourselves worthy of being your parents again…”

“B-But Daddy, you already are! You’re just busy a lot at the moment, that’s why you can’t spend time with me. And Mummy will always be Mummy, I’ve learned to accept that. One of you just has to say sorry, you’ll get the servants back, and everything will be just like it was before. So I won’t have to go anywhere. R-Right?”

Filthy Rich stared down with pride at his anxious daughter, silent teardrops streaming down either side of his cheeks.

“Oh, my precious. If only things were that easy, but I’m afraid in the adult world relationships are much more… complex. If I could just say ‘everything will be okay’ and it worked, I would’ve done that a long time ago. But things haven’t been okay for a long time now, and it’s my and your mother’s fault for not seeing that much sooner. It’s only a shame it took something this drastic to happen to get us to realise that, but if we’re fortunate enough to be granted a second chance with you, we fully intend on taking it.”

Diamond didn’t (or couldn’t) say anything in response to this heartfelt recitation. She simply snuggled in closer to her father, as he gently patted her head and continued speaking to her in a soft but assured voice.

“Now, you’re going to have to be a brave filly and go with Princess Twilight. I can’t tell you how long for, but whatever happens we’ll be thinking about you, all day and every single night. And yes, I include your mother in that. She might not show it all that often, but she loves you just as much as I do. She just has a… different way of showing it. If there’s one thing I can promise you, it’s that we’ll be working tirelessly while you’re gone to make this a happy and safe home again. I swear this on our proud family name. Whatever I have to do to make it happen…”

Diamond had by now welled up with as many tears as her devastated yet determined father, and as cliche and embarrassing and so totally unlike her as her next four words were…

It was the only appropriate thing she could think of under such poignant circumstances.

“I love you, Daddy!”

“I love you too, darling! Don’t ever forget that!”

“Of course I won’t, silly!”

“Hey! Don’t forget to say goodbye to the Tickle Monster too! He’s going to miss you as well…”

“W-Wha… the Tickle Monster? You haven’t done that since I was a… I’m way too mature now for… n-no, please stop. Hahahahaha…”

Spoiled Rich, who’d listened in on this entire emotional exchange at the foot of the stairs, predictably rolled her eyes at this point.

“Ugh… typical cornball shenanigans from Filthy… when will he ever learn…”

Twilight Sparkle, who more politely had waited outside the building while farewells were reciprocated, poked her head around the corner to wonder what was happening.

“Listen, I don’t mean to hurry you along at this sensitive time, but I do have other Princessly duties to attend to today, and… Mrs Rich! Are you... crying?”

“D-Don’t be foolish! Rich’s don’t cry… it’s bad for business, you know!” Spoiled swiftly dabbed around her soaked facial area with the back of her finely manicured hoof. “It’s just this new mascara I bought. The wretched stuff reacted to the steam bath I had last night at the spa, and is melting terribly. Last time I invest in that particular product, let me tell you!”

“Are you sure about that? Because I’ve never heard of a…” Twilight stared at the insistent mare quizzically.

“A-Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Look, here they come now!” Spoiled for some reason was desperate to change the subject, and got the perfect diversion when she spotted Filthy and Diamond linked hoof-in-hoof descending the stairs. “So, have you two quite finished with your over-the-top lamentations? You know it’s only going to be for a short while, before one of us sees reason and…”

At this point, Diamond did something quite unexpected in front of everypony there. Most of all, her own parents.

She nodded as an indication to her father she was going to let go of his hoof, before scrambling down the last few steps to give her mother a loving hug.

Spoiled was so astounded by this sudden turn of events she completely lost her train of thought, and her pinkened cheeks uncontrollably turned a deep shade of crimson.

“I-I-I… wh-who… wh-why… w-what is the meaning of this?!”

“No reason. Just to show you that despite everything, I still love you Mummy. And I’ll miss you too while I’m gone.” Diamond’s expression of dedication was clear and genuine, and once more Spoiled’s dodgy mascara began playing havoc with her tear ducts.

“H-Humph. Stuff and nonsense, all this sentimental mushiness. You’ll be back before you know it, and I dare say we’ll enjoy the break. Stop acting like we won’t see you again, and do what I’ve always taught you: maintain good posture, keep a stiff upper lip and remember that you’re better than everypony else. Always follow those guidelines, and you’ll never go astray. Now dear, it’s time to disentangle yourself from my withers, because like the Princess I have things to do today with my job that simply can’t be delayed.”

Yet, despite her protestations to the contrary, Spoiled made no effort to budge Diamond away from her prime position at the Earth Pony’s side…

And indeed, the fond embrace went on for a good few minutes longer than most would’ve predicted.

………….

“Don’t worry, Spoiled. We’ll see her again soon…” Filthy Rich said to his wife, as they waved off their departing offspring in the Princess’s carriage. “You don’t have to hide how you feel. I know you care, even if you don’t like to show it.”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.” A defiant Spoiled Rich replied, after she’d put her forehoof down. “But you’re absolutely right in the first thing you said. All you have to do is be more thoughtful, accommodate my needs, try listening to me once in a while…”

“Hey, hold on there just a… those are all things that you should be doing for me!” Filthy turned to face his wife, a frown quickly replacing the emotional look that’d been there seconds earlier. “How can one mare eschew the situation so badly? Maybe if you followed your own advice, we wouldn’t be here right now saying goodbye to our darling daughter!”

“W-Well, you have some nerves talking to me like that, Filthy!”

“And you’re getting on mine, Spoiled!”

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are!”

Fortunately for them, Diamond was already over the grassy hill by this point and so didn’t witness the swift deterioration of her parents' temporary truce mere seconds after she was out of sight.

For if she had, her current state of bewilderment and sadness would’ve been made even worse.

It was safe to say, everypony who’d been gathered at Rich mansion that fateful morning had a lot to think about and work on.

Some even more so than others.

Author's Note

I don't like to toot my own horn (toot toot) but I am quite proud of this chapter. Hope you enjoyed reading it too, and see you soon for the next thrilling installation. :scootangel:

Chapter Four part 2: First Day With Twilight

For the longest time, no words were exchanged between either the pink filly or her royal companion during their inexorable journey through Ponyville.

Being the committed bookworm she was (even as a Princess), Twilight Sparkle occasionally missed certain social cues. But even she knew that trying to strike up a jolly conversation with a filly who’d just been dragged away from everything she’d known for an inordinate amount of time wasn’t such a good idea.

As for Diamond Tiara, she just sat there in the carriage with her hooves crossed, all previous signs of being starstruck in the presence of the alicorn completely gone. Occasionally, there would be a bump in the road which would cause her small stature to bounce around in comparison to her larger travelling partner, but she only readjusted herself slightly before returning to her prolonged vow of silence.

Eventually, the stallion-pulled transportation neared the Ponyville Schoolhouse and Diamond glanced up, half-expecting the vehicle to stop and allow her to get out. But without any further hesitation the driver ventured on, which led to the first snippet of discussion that day between filly and Princess.

“I’m not… I’m not going to classes this morning?” Diamond couldn’t help but ask in her confusion.

Twilight smiled slightly at the youngster, before replying. “No, not today if that’s alright. I’ve spoken with Miss Cheerilee, and whatever work you were due to do can be put back for another time. Don’t worry, from what I heard you’re not really missing out on anything. There was a field trip to Manehattan to see some show, but we’ve already got plenty of culture here in Ponyville, right?”

“Oh no! I completely forgot! All The Pretty Horses! I was gonna sit next to Silver Spoon, and we were going to bombard the Crusaders with buttered popcorn from the balcony above while they’d counter with penny chews! It would’ve been so much fun!” The way Diamond phrased this sentence, it sounded like she was losing one of the formative experiences of her youth. “Of course, now I have to go without because somepony thinks my parents don’t love me anymore and is forcing me to leave home when I don’t even want to go! Thanks a lot, Princess Twilight!”

The withering way Diamond pronounced those last two words made the alicorn wince, but she did her best not to show it in her reply. “I know it’s going to be tough, but believe me: if there were any other option, I would’ve taken it. Sometimes, what seems like something bad now actually turns out to be something good in the future. Hopefully, one day you'll look back on this experience and not think you’re being punished at all, and…”

“Yeah. Blah blah blah…” A thoroughly fed-up Diamond had apparently misplaced whatever reverence she’d possessed for the Princess, and was now talking to her like any other random street pony. “You don’t know anything about how I feel! If you did, you wouldn’t be taking me away from Mummy and Daddy the way you are! J-Just, leave me alone…”

The pink filly then purposefully turned away from a disheartened Twilight, preferring to spend the rest of the journey in personal contemplation whilst staring out the window.

Well, that went smoothly, didn’t it? Twilight’s first attempt at communication with her temporary charge hadn’t gone according to plan, but as always she was determined not to give up. I better give her a bit of space for now. I should never have underestimated the difficulty of attempting to explain to a child why they’re being removed from their home. Celestia knows, at her age I probably would’ve reacted the exact same way. Not that my parents were the Rich’s, but still...

With a visible shiver running down her spine at that mere thought, Twilight motioned for the coach driver to carry on to their destination, past a few astonished onlookers who hadn’t expected to see a Princess crossing their path when they’d got up for work that morning.

What a story they’d have to relay at the water cooler that day!

If anypony else would believe them, naturally.

……………………….

“Wh-what are we doing at your old palace?”

“I just have a few things to sort out here, then we can figure out where you’re going to stay. Don’t worry, this won’t take long…”

Diamond was almost nodding off in the back of the rickety carriage as it pulled up outside the Castle Of Friendship, and first the guards got out before opening the doors for the remaining two passengers.

Twilight nodded to her bodyguards as she left the vehicle, closely followed behind by a more hesitant Diamond.

“You don’t have to come in with me, you know.” Twilight informed the younger pony. “If you’d rather have some time alone, I mean…”

“No, it’s okay.” Diamond didn’t look at the Princess as she spoke, too occupied with the dazzling spectacle that lay before her. “I-I haven’t been inside here before, and I’d like to see it.”

“That’s no problem at all. And I won’t even charge you for a tour fee!” Twilight attempted to make a joke, but upon receiving no reaction decided these kind of puns were best left to Pinkie. “...Anyway, Spike will look after you. I’m just going to discuss something with my friend Starlight, and then we can be on our way. If you need anything, you should be able to find me easily enough. Or, ask one of my staff and they’ll point you in the right direction. Okay?”

“A-Alright…” Diamond murmured by way of a reply, still somewhat overawed. She wanted to keep being mad at the alicorn, but it was a bit difficult in the presence of such architectural splendour. “Wait, ‘Spike’? Where have I heard that name before? Isn’t he the big guy who almost destroyed Ponyville one time, when he stole everypony’s possessions or something?”

“Why does every creature remember that incident, instead of my unbelievable heroics in helping save the world? I even have a statue in the Crystal Empire, for goodness sake!” The dragon in question (much smaller than Diamond recalled) flitted down from on high. “Sorry to drop in unannounced, but my ears were ‘burning’ when I heard my name being mentioned. Get it? Burning?! ...No?”

Twilight motioned to her assistant that based on previous failed attempts, maybe humour wasn’t the best icebreaker in this fraught situation. He nodded his understanding, before noticeably changing tact with his interactions involving their filly guest.

“So anyways, do you want to follow me in? First, I’ll show you the Map Room. That’s where all of our most famous adventures started, in spreading the power of Friendship across Equestria! Then, I can take you to the kitchen for a snack, around the library if you don’t mind the dust, my soon-to-be-vacant room… do you enjoy superhero comics? Because if you do, then have I got a treat for you…!”

Intrigued by the attractions that lay ahead despite her ongoing dislike for the circumstances she’d been forced into, Diamond silently followed the hovering drake while Twilight watched them leave with a touch of relief.

Thanks for giving me a break, Spike. Things were getting so frosty between me and Diamond in the carriage, I could practically see my breath on the glass. Twilight sighed in earnest, as the red carpet was packed away behind her. I should’ve expected things wouldn’t be ‘plain sailing’ at first though, so what am I so concerned about? She’ll appreciate why I’m doing this eventually, until then I guess I’ll have to deal with whatever vitriol she has to throw my way. Oh, who’d be a parent? That’s the one question I’ll never be able to answer...

……………………

“Y-You want to do what, Starlight?!”

“Just give the walls a lick of paint, Twilight! I was thinking dark blue, maybe purple, with lots of yellow stars in the background…”

“B-But I’m not sure you can even paint crystal! Whatever gave you that idea?”

“It was Trixie, actually. I felt like because she’ll be coming around a lot more once you’ve gone, she should have some say in what the remodeled castle should look like.”

“...That actually explains a lot. But when you said ‘redecoration’, I thought you meant some new potted plants, maybe a poster or two. Not a whole-scale transformation…!”

“What is it you always taught me? ‘Out with the old, in with the new’…?”

“...Starlight, that sounds more like a Trixie saying. I crave familiarity, and obsess over routine.”

“Oh, that’s right, Twilight! Sorry, but for a second there I forgot how much of a… a…”

“Yes?”

“...Stickler for structuralism you are! Y-Yes, that’s what I was gonna tell you, nothing to do with your stubborn neuroses against any kind of change holding you back in life! After all, who am I to lecture a Princess? A-Anyway, moving on…”

“Hmm. Your advanced vocabulary and knowledge of royal protocol might've saved you for now, but you can’t rely on them forever. One of these days, I’ll catch you out. Then, it’ll be the dungeon for you, my unicorn friend(!) Until then, I guess I can approve a new colour scheme around here…”

“Hurray!”

“...As long as you tell your friend Trixie that the castle is no kind of place for any magic shows. And don’t try to pretend she doesn't have something in the pipeline. I’ve already seen a few flyers around town for ‘a fantabulous new venue that will finally reflect Trixie’s amazing talent’. Reflect? Doesn’t take a genius to figure out where she means.”

“Aw. We were meaning to keep it as a surprise…”

“Well, some ‘surprises’ are nicer than others. Finding a book I haven’t read before? That’s a pleasant surprise! Crossing off the last item on a long list? Even better! Discovering my formerly cherished home has been turned into a… a crazy circus, is not one of them! Now, are you going to inform her, or shall I?”

Mutter “I’ll do it.”

“Sorry? I didn’t hear you.”

“I said, I’ll do it. As long as I can hollow out this wall to allow easier access to the garden, and maybe lose this turret at the side which blocks the view from my bedroom. What an eyesore…”

“I’ll say one thing for you Starlight, you drive a hard bargain. But you have a deal. See what happens when we compromise? Now, I’d like to discuss these plans of yours for a jacuzzi out back, and… hey, did you just hear something?”

“Yeah I did, Twilight! It sounded a bit like… a scream!”

“...And it came from upstairs! Come on, we better go and investigate!”

The two mares quickly dropped the large piece of parchment they studied entitled ‘The Future Of The Friendship Castle’ to gallop together to the first floor.

“In there! It’s coming from Spike’s old room!”

Twilight quickly detected the source of the commotion, and without further delay she burst through the door, soon joined by her unicorn compadre bringing up the rear.

And inside the dingy demeanour of the dragon’s dwelling…

They found something that shocked them both to their very core.

Author's Note

Uh oh. It could be something unspeakably evil, ugly as sin and so horrific it would give Luna nightmares... :twilightoops:

...Or it might be completely innocent. The only way to find out is to wait... :pinkiesad2:

...Not very long, as it happens. :pinkiehappy:

Chapter Five part 1: 'Quality' Time With Spike

Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer had heard all the esteemed titles bestowed upon a certain scaly friend of theirs.

Spike The Brave.

Spike The Magnificent.

Spike The Aviator (the latest addition to the roll of honour. Obviously).

The fact most of them had been chosen by the dragon himself didn’t seem to matter. Whenever Spike needed a shot of confidence, either mare would declare to him one of these descriptive nicknames with the sort of booming gravitas usually reserved for speeches at times of national crisis...

...Which in the recent history of Equestria had seemingly been every month, but that was another matter (mostly for the Luna and Celestia biographists).

Now another moniker could be added to that distinguished list… but it was not one which would please the drake nor would he particularly encourage the use of.

Spike The… Ticklish?!

……………………………

A few minutes earlier

“So, what did you think then?” Spike asked his filly companion as they entered his old room together after their quick tour of the grounds.

“Well, I liked the table with the sticking-out holograms. It would definitely help me out some with my geography test.” Diamond Tiara replied, referring to the magical furniture in the Map Room. “How much did you say you were asking for it again?”

“E-Erm… I don’t think it’s for sale…” Diamond’s offer to purchase the invaluable artefact had left the drake stumbling for words.

“What do you mean, Dragon? Everything’s for sale. At least, that’s what my Daddy always taught me. How could he be wrong?” Diamond frowned slightly at the unusual prospect of not immediately getting what she wanted. “I think it would just fit in my room too, between the pinball machine and my four-poster bed. Are you absolutely positive I couldn’t tempt you or your employer Princess Twilight with an offer? It seems you’ll be moving out soon anyway.”

“For starters, call me ‘Spike’. Every creature else does. And Twilight isn’t my ‘employer’... well, she is, but there’s so much more to our relationship than that.” Spike decided to regale the youngster with a few basic facts, before responding to the main parts of the discussion. “And while me and Twi may be relocating to Canterlot on a permanent basis, we’d still like to keep some mementos of our time here. Besides, what would happen if a new generation of ponies needed to use the Map urgently, but the table was all the way over in Rich Mansion helping you with your homework? Sorry, it just isn’t possible.”

“Why did you show the Map table to me then?” Diamond protested, on the verge of what seemed like a major sulk. “The more you explained about how ‘wonderful’ it was and how ‘cool’ it’s powers were, the more I realised: I had to have it! It was one of the greatest sales pitches I’ve ever heard! And you mentioned that you were the Princess’s chief advisor? I think your talents are being wasted! You should be working for Barnyard Bargains, as one of our top salesponi… oops, I meant salesdragons.”

“Again, no can do. I’ve been with Twilight ever since I hatched… from her days at Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns, to official Ponyville librarian and now new ruler of Equestria. There’s nothing you could say that could possibly tempt me away…”

“I’m sure Daddy would triple your existing salary if I asked him nicely. I can get anything I want, thanks to this Cutie Mark.”

“Huh? ‘Salary’? What’s that? Is it something you have with salad? If it’s relating to bits, I don’t need ‘em. Everything I require is provided in my current job, and you can’t buy the friendships and experiences I’ve had over the years with Twilight and the girls.”

“Ugh. Fine then, ‘Spike’... but you don’t know what you’re missing.” As much as Diamond tried distancing herself from her unpopular mother, one glance at the sour-face she pulled there would tell you they were closely related. “So anyway, what you got in here? Hopefully something more exciting than a kitchen full of cinnamon nuts and a library with nothing but musty old books.”

“Well, I have plenty of jewels that are way tastier than any nut! Better not let you try any, though. You might lose some teeth, and Twilight may lose her mind…” Spike decided his precious stone collection was best left to dragons with much stronger jaws. “What I can tell you with confidence is that my comic books are far more interesting than the non-illustrated alternatives. I’ve packed most of them away for the big move to Canterlot, but do you want to read any of the ones I haven’t catalogued yet? There’s Superhero Origin Stories, Supervillain Battles, Super Rare Special Editions…”

“Hmph! All of those sound super-boring to me. Haven’t you got any mystery comics? Or… magazines for very refined and wealthy fillies?” Diamond asked hopefully, but already thinking she knew the answer. “We have a subscription to Equines Of Affluence and Prosperous Ponies Post at home!”

“I bet you do.” Spike rolled his eyes at the pink filly’s unabashed boasting. As a common working stiff by trade, he didn’t understand the ways of the upper class and neither did he ever want to. “It’s a ‘mystery’ to me why anypony would want to find out about better ways to play croquet or go yachting when you could be discovering Mane-iacs marvellous machinations or reading Masked Matter-Horn’s many misadventures! Here, let me show you.”

Eager to convert another skeptic to the joy of the superhero genre, Spike didn’t quite watch his step enough as he went to grab a stash of comics from inside his old room. The mop which he’d left behind earlier after cleaning up was still there, and inevitably…

“Wah.” Spike tripped directly over the protruding item upon entry, upsetting both his own balance and the mop’s too.

The mop fell to the floor with a pronounced thunk but he didn’t, as Diamond Tiara had very graciously deigned to catch him (though it was more of a reflex)...

...Which for whatever reason sent the drake into an uncontrollable fit of giggles.

“I don’t know what’s so funny about falling and nearly breaking your neck.” Diamond stated disapprovingly, as she put the dragon down almost as quickly as she’d caught him. “If that happened to any of our servants, they could sue us for millions. Why do you think Wet Floor signs were invented? And don’t I get at least a ‘thanks’ for saving you from a possible serious injury?”

“...Y-Yes, thank you. I’m grateful. I really am.” Spike’s chuckling began petering out, as he began regaining control of his faculties. “It’s just… where you grabbed me… in the middle of my back.”

“What about it?”

“That’s like, the most tender spot on my entire body. If any of my mortal enemies ever wanted to incapacitate me in an instant, all they’d have to do is locate that secret place, and…”

“And… what?” For whatever reason, a small grin started forming on Diamond’s formerly moody face. An evil-looking smile that Spike didn’t really appreciate.

“P-Push it. Prod it. Poke it. Pinch it. Basically, if you manipulated that spot, you could probably manipulate me.” Spike spoke nervously, instinctively backing away from his filly guest. “Y-You must promise never to tell any creature, because this fateful knowledge could be the single difference between saving the world and everything being destroyed one day. D-Do I have your word…?”

“Yeah, yeah. ‘Take a cupcake, stick it in my eye’. Or, something.” Diamond did a passable rendition of the Pinkie Promise, something she reckoned only existed in the annals of urban legend. “But first, I’m going to have some fun. Come here, ‘Spike’. I won’t bite… much.”

“Diamond Tiara… what are you doing? Diamond… you’re too close now. Diamond… get off me! Diamond… your hooves aren’t supposed to be there. D-Diamond… you shouldn’t. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t! Oh, you are… hahahahaha…”

……………………

It was into this awkward situation that Twilight and Starlight stampeded into, with Spike lying flat on his back and Diamond giving him the mother of all tickling sessions whilst leaning over his prostrate form.

She learned from the best ‘Tickle Monster’ of all, naturally. Her own father.

“L-Let me up, l-let me up! I-It’s a form of torture, you know. Hehehehehe...” Needless to say, the slightly girlish screams both mares had heard were being emanated by their dragon friend.

In fact, this was the only set of circumstances you’d ever hear him make these ‘unique’ noises. Forget being confronted by the baddest and brutalest villains Equestria could throw at the drake, this was what it took to make him squeal and titter like a newborn foal.

And contrary to his laughing reaction, he didn’t like it. Not one single bit.

After overcoming her initial shock, Twilight’s first reaction was to preserve the dignity of her top advisor. And seeing as Diamond was so concentrated on her current irksome task she wasn’t really listening to reason...

“Hey! What are you doing?!” Diamond reacted with surprise and rage at being lifted into the air from Spike’s personage via a purplish sheen. “I was only having some fun…!”

“It’s not really much ‘fun’ when the other party, in this case Spike, doesn’t seem to be enjoying it!” Twilight frowned, as the gasping drake in question made good his escape. “I know you’ve had a hard few months, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat my friend like this, and…”

“Oh, give me a break! Who do you think you are, my Mummy?” As soon as Diamond had been deposited back onto the floor she stomped off, ostentatiously in the direction of the Map room. “Nice try, but you’re too ‘nice’ to tell me what to do. Anyway, what else you got around here? Don’t you have anything for fillies my age? I can tell you don’t entertain children much…!”

Twilight sighed at the petulant youngster in her midst, before turning to Starlight. “I better go after her, I suppose. Make sure she doesn’t get up to any more mischief. Are you okay with seeing if Spike is…”

“Fine, fine. You go after her. We’ll be alright here, won’t we Spike?” Starlight remarked to the absent dragon currently hiding under his former bed, receiving a muffled grunt in response.

Twilight nodded, before she wasted no more time in flying after her disobedient charge. Meanwhile, a slightly smirking Starlight leaned over the mattress to try striking up a more coherent conversation with the dragon underneath.

“Sorry about that, Spike. If we’d known what was going on, we’d have been up much sooner. But it does give us the opportunity to have a bit of a chat. Tell me: what would you think of this room as… a discotheque?”

Author's Note

Well, it was never gonna be easy, right? :facehoof:

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to hear what Twilight and Diamond have to say to each other... oh wait, it hasn't been written yet. Never mind, you know what they say about the best things. :raritywink:

P.S To the person who is messaging me a lot saying they want a 'romance' between Silver and Diamond... you have now been blocked. I'm sure there are plenty of other stories here that cover that ship. :trixieshiftleft:

And threatening me with downmarks and bad word-of-mouth isn't gonna stop me either: I am gonna finish this fic no matter what. :rainbowdetermined2:

Chapter Five part 2: An Alicorn's Proposal

“Diamond Tiara? Diamond? Oh, where has that filly got to now…?” Twilight might’ve cursed in her frustration over the so far fruitless search, but just stopped just short in case the ‘impressionable’ youngster might be listening nearby. “Look, I’m sorry I snapped at you there, but I can’t allow that sort of behaviour in my castle! Spike is a dear friend of mine, and doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment. But I promise, I’m not mad and I won’t shout at you. Just… tell me where you are…”

Having scouted the majority of the ground floor and not seeing her go back upstairs, Twilight arrived at the conclusion that her missing charge must be in hiding. Unfortunately because of all the cracks and fissures in the crystalline edifice, there were plenty of obscure nooks and crannies for the filly to take refuge. Places where a growing alicorn would find it a pretty tight fit to squeeze into, wings notwithstanding.

That’s it. I’m taking a break. This is like searching for a needle in a haystack. Twilight ruefully couldn’t produce anything better than the biggest cliche possible to describe her gargantuan task. Whilst taking a breather from the hunt on her throne though, she pondered if there might be some truth to it. Hmm. Haystacks? Farms? Maybe I could enlist Applejack’s help. After all, she always seems to know where Apple Bloom is, and… what’s that noise?

Twilight’s ears pricked up upon detecting a nearby sound, but this time it wasn’t any kind of scream. The tone resembled more of a sniffle, followed by a sob, then a distinct weeping…

Oh Celestia! How could I have been so stupid?! Twilight almost facehoofed herself repeatedly there and then, quite unable to believe her own obliviousness. She’s under the table! How could such a smart pony like myself not check the most obvious location in the entire palace first? Once again, my penchant for overthinking everything has cost me precious time. Well, I won’t waste a second more.

Twilight quickly got up and ducked underneath the large table. It was a bit grimy and mucky down there, as apparently Spike’s daily cleaning regime hadn’t extended to wiping the bottom of the magical furniture. But not too far away trying to make herself as inconspicuous as possible, there fidgeted an unmistakable shape with a tiaraed head curled up.

“Diamond! At last!!” Twilight exclaimed in relief, having at last tracked down her elusive ‘prey’. “Did you hear what I said? You can come out anytime you like. I won’t raise my voice, or get cross. You’re a bright filly, and you know what you did was wrong. We can talk about it if you like, or…”

“J-Just… leave me alone!” Diamond’s sharp response, accompanied by a strangled sob, was so out of the blue Twilight almost bumped her head on the table in shock. “You don’t want me. My parents don’t want me. Nopony wants me! I t-tried so hard to be better, to be a good daughter and friends with everypony. B-But I guess whatever I do, I’ll always be the c-class b-bully that nopony l-l-likes…”

Diamond didn’t (or couldn’t) utter another coherent word. She simply put her soaked head in her sodden hooves and cried and cried until her eyelids were red raw with tears.

Twilight simply didn’t know what to do. She’d never been confronted with such a sad pony before. The blubbering just didn’t seem to stop, and she began wishing for an easy solution like an off switch.

No, that’s not fair. I can totally understand why she feels so isolated right now, having been dragged away from everything she knows without a clue as to what’s going to happen next. Plus, she thinks everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours is her fault. What can I possibly say to make her feel better? Before becoming ruler of Equestria, I was allegedly the Princess Of Friendship! If I can’t cheer up a stricken child, how did I even receive that honour in the first place? Think, Twilight, think…!

Then, it hit her.

“Budge up!” Twilight crouched down as low as she possibly could to crawl under the table to Diamond’s location, leaving behind a trail of feathers and a slight groove in the material with her horn.

(Not to worry. With a bit of careful polishing, such minor scratches would surely buff themselves out.)

“H-Huh?” Diamond finally halted her waterworks long enough to stare at the kneeling alicorn with surprise. “W-What are you doing?”

“Simple. If you won’t come over to me, I’ll come over to you. Even if it gives me a major backache later, your health and happiness will always be of paramount importance to me.” Twilight smiled at the gobsmacked filly, whilst wondering in her head if Spike could administer one of his patented massages later to ease the spinal pain.

“P-Para-what?”

“Oops. My apologies. I have a bad habit of using long words to others who may not know what they mean. Basically, what I’m trying to say is: your wellbeing matters more than anything else at the moment, and if there’s anything I can do to improve your mood…”

“Y-You can’t. Nopony can. I’m completely hopeless. The Crusaders did their best to reform me, but I can see now they were just fooling themselves. A-And the really worse thing is, I fooled myself even more. For even thinking I was a new pony, a-and I’d use my skills for good instead of following Mummy’s example. B-But like you just saw for yourself, it’s pointless. I’ll always be another version of her. N-Now I can’t please anypony: Mummy hates me for ignoring her lessons, and Daddy hates me because of what I did in the past. That’s why they’re fighting all the time… because of me. E-Even Silver Spoon’s parents let me go earlier without telling me what was happening. If I thought I’d be welcome anywhere it’s Silver Manor, b-but I suppose they’ve already said ‘no’ to having me after my p-parents g-got r-rid o-of m-me…”

“Now hold on just a second!” Twilight frowned with concern at the filly’s tragic predicament, wanting… no, needing to put her straight on a few misconceptions. “First of all, I hadn’t even discussed Mrs Sterling or her husband taking you in! The thought may have crossed my mind, but when she mentioned they were going away to Las Pegasus next week for the summer holidays, I thought it might be a bit awkward if you joined them. I mean, being so far away from your parents, if they wanted to visit…”

“O-Oh yeah. Guess I forgot about that.”

“And as for everypony ‘hating’ you, nothing could be further from the truth! Your Daddy adores you, anypony with a father can see that! Your mother too, and as much as I may disapprove of her methods I can kind of see her intentions. She’s just going about them the wrong way, but that’s another story. They’re fighting with each for many reasons, some of which are relating to you while others aren’t. I’ll repeat what I said earlier though, and I cannot stress this enough: none of it is your fault. From what I saw, they’re going to work their tails off in winning you back: hardly a sign that they want ‘rid’ of you. Also, you might’ve done bad things in the past, but everypony can see you’re trying your hardest to change now. In any case, you are the pony you choose to be. Even I made mistakes before, but I learned from them and moved on eventually. While doing my best never to repeat them, of course.”

“M-Mistakes? T-The Princess Of Friendship?”

“Yes, plenty. I’ve fallen out with my friends, lied to them, tried to steal something that wasn’t mine, lost my temper for the silliest reasons and almost went completely crazy through Twilighting everything!”

“T-Twilighting?”

“...I’ll tell you about it some other time. The fact is, nopony is perfect: we all have stuff we need to work on and improve. Wouldn’t life be dull if there weren't any goals to achieve? Besides, I’d be out of a job: What good is a Princess, without any creature to help? Are you saying you want me to be unemployed(!)”

Giggle… “I guess not.”

“Oh good, you’ve started smiling again! I was beginning to forget what that looked like. Now, if it’s not too much trouble Diamond, I’d like to make a humble request.”

“You… want to make a request… of me?”

“Indeed. Can we take this conversation to a more spacious area please? All this bending and squatting down is giving me the most awful cramp. Would that be okay with you?”

“Oh right. Sorry Princess Twilight, I was so busy listening, I didn’t realise…”

“It’s fine. I’m just more used to ponies bowing at me, than the other way around(!)”

Chuckle…”I think I’d prefer other ponies bowing to me, too.”

“There’s that beautiful grin again! I wish we could see more of it. But if you ever feel the need to cry again, don’t let me stop you. Showing your emotions is always healthy. Just remember: I’ll always be here if you need somepony to talk to or confide in. Do you understand me, Diamond Tiara? Always.”

“R-Really? Even after you’ve moved to Canterlot?” A dusty Diamond Tiara emerged from under the table first, blinking slightly as her eyes adjusted to the natural light.

“Really, really. I am here for any creature who needs me, and since becoming sole ruler you’re my first ‘test subject’. If I can help you, every creature else should be a breeze! Put it this way if you like: we’re assisting each other. How does it feel, then? To be a true pioneer?” Twilight came out next to tower over the filly once more, a bit dirtier than before but none the worse-for-wear.

“Pio...huh?” Diamond scratched her head in confusion, for the second time in almost as many minutes.

“You know what’s a shame? That you’re not staying with me. Wouldn’t that be convenient: I could give you the undivided attention you need, as well as maybe sharpen up your vocabulary a bit. And you’d give me the chance to see what it might be like looking after a filly of my very own. As hard as it sounds, if I can manage a day around Ponyville with Flurry Heart I think I could handle just about anything. But it could never happen, naturally. Because…”

It was at this juncture that Twilight’s head should’ve been swimming with all manner of excuses and reasons as to why having Diamond Tiara hang around for a while would be a terrible idea.

She could think of absolutely none.

And as she stared down at the nonplussed pink filly adjacent to her, she found herself on a whim asking her young charge something which would embark both ponies on the biggest adventure of their lives.

Yes, even for Twilight.

What if? What if?

“Hey, Diamond. Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

Author's Note

First of all, a message to Mr or Mrs Foal Shipper: You can message me through your friend's accounts as much as you like, but I'll block every one. You can downmark this story to oblivion, but I won't work on anything else until it's finished bar the occasional one-shot. I will not put in an SS/DT romance into this story just because you want me to and there 'aren't many fics with that ship on this site', no matter what you try in your desperation to convince me. That's my final word on the subject: don't expect a response from me in any form from now on, you'll simply be ignored.

On a lighter note, the story starts for realsies now. What lies ahead for our intrepid alicorn and her young sidekick in the complicated affair known as 'Parenthood'? There's only one way to find out which doesn't involve an ancient ritual, half a pint of raven's blood and venturing into a spooky cemetery after dark... :twilightoops:

You're probably just better off waiting for the update. :twilightsheepish:

Chapter Six part 1: Diamond Decides

“You want to… what?” Diamond Tiara stared intently at Twilight, as if she couldn’t quite believe her own ears.

“I said: Would you like to come and stay with me for a while? You’d have your very own room at the palace in Canterlot; it is a huge building after all. And though I might be busy sometimes with my royal duties, I’d only be just around the corner if you ever needed…”

“So it’s true. I have the chance… to live… with a real life princess.” Diamond seemed to hesitantly state that last sentence more to herself. “...I need to sit down for a second.”

“Huh? Are you okay, Diamond? Here, you can have Spike’s old chair.” Twilight stopped her description to guide the pink filly to the smallest throne. “Did I say something wrong? I just thought it wasn’t such a bad idea. I mean, I know I said that if you stayed with the Silvers’ it might be a bit of a trek for your parents, but Canterlot is much closer than Las Pegasus, and…”

“No, it’s not that. I’m just imagining what Silv would have to say about it.” Some glints of the old Diamond Tiara were starting to show in the smug half-grin that began to form. “It does sound… kind of nice. But how long for? And what am I supposed to do while I’m there? Do I get to skip school, for example?”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. Whatever schoolwork you need, I’m sure Miss Cheerilee can forward to your new temporary address.” Twilight beamed down at Diamond’s noticeably disappointed face. “Remember; it’s the summer vacation season soon, anyway. I know this by heart, because it was always my least favourite time of year. Can you imagine what it was like; months without classes… no structure to the day… having to mark my own progress, in the absence of any teachers…”

“Er, yeah. I don’t think I love going to school quite as much as you did.” Whatever enthusiasm the alicorn might’ve harboured towards her early education, it sure wasn’t contagious to an unimpressed Diamond. “Anyway, you didn’t answer my first two questions. What is there to do there? Surely more than at the Friendship Castle, no offence. And how long before I can live with Mummy and Daddy again?”

“Oh, right. Sorry, sometimes I get a bit carried away when discussing my school-life.” A somewhat flustered Twilight cleared her throat, before continuing her answer. “Well, obviously you’d be able to see all of Canterlot. It’s a pretty nice place, if you’ve never been before. I can introduce you to some of my best friends and family whilst growing-up there, and it has a world-class library! It’s just a lovely, friendly city with lots of history and a moderate climate all year round…”

“What are you, their Tourist Board or something? I just wanted to know if there was stuff for a filly my age there. By the way you just described it, probably not.” Diamond Tiara’s mother may have been chomping at the bit to witness the opulence of Canterlot, but it was plain to see the filly herself had no such ambition. “...And I’m still waiting for an answer to my other question. If I did come with you, how long would it be for?”

“E-Erm…” Twilight had intentionally skipped that particular part of the query until now. Mainly because the blunt truth might not be what the previously volatile filly wanted to hear. “The fact is, I don’t exactly know. It all depends if and when I think your parents can look after you better. In other words; not arguing all the time, ignoring your most basic needs and throwing fragile items around the mansion liable to cause you harm. I might not be an expert, but I don’t believe as things stand that’s a very safe or suitable environment to raise a child in.”

“I-I see.” A downcast Diamond took the news surprisingly well, unless her lack of visible sadness was due to her tear ducts being all cried out from earlier. “I guess, when you put it like that… I can kind of see why I had to go away for a while…”

“Hey, c’mon! Don’t be too down-in-the-dumps, or you’re going to set me off this time!” Twilight leaned over from her own throne to gently lift the pink filly’s chin upwards so their eyes met. “I won’t promise you anything, because nopony can tell the future; not even me. And contrary to some of the posters you might’ve seen illegally scattered around town, Trixie Lulamoon can’t either. But one thing I can swear is that if you come and live with me, I’ll try my very best to be the parental figure you need and deserve for the duration of your visit. You won’t want for anything, and I hope to learn a lot from you in return. Plus, I may even let you accompany me on some of my official engagements around Equestria…”

“Wait. You’re telling me… if I come to stay in Canterlot with you… I get to see the world?!” Diamond eyes nearly popped out of their sockets with excitement, as though it was this rather than Twilight’s solemn vow to be a dedicated caregiver that was the deciding factor. “It’s a deal! I-I mean, if this was a business thing… oh, who cares? You know what I meant!! Oh, I can’t wait! Silv thinks she’s so cool with her month-long stay in a four-star hotel at Las Pegasus, wait 'til she hears about my trips to Fillydelphia! Or holidays at the Crystal Empire! Maybe I’ll get her a hoof-crafted souvenir brooch from Yakyakistan, to really rub it in…”

“H-Hey, wait a minute. I only said ‘some’! A-And we might not even go to any of those places…” A somewhat ruffled Twilight attempted to calm her potential houseguest down, to no great avail.

“I’ll get packed straightaway… oh, what am I saying? My luggage is already still in it’s bags! How convenient! So, do I get my own servant? I mean, they can’t be as good as Randolph, but a butler is a butler, right? There are a few things I’m allergic to, like gluten and some detergents. I’ll make out a full list when we get there. Also, can I have a nightlight in my room, please? N-Not that I’m scared of the dark or anything, it’s just an ‘insurance policy’, as my Daddy says when he turns it on. Oh, and is it going to be overlooking the east, or the west wing…?”

On and on Diamond prattled away, her animated chatter interspersed with occasional leaps of joy and slight tugs at Twilight’s mane when the filly thought her alicorn guardian wasn’t paying her enough attention.

She’s changed her mind on the topic so quickly, I can barely keep pace with it all. Twilight internally sighed, whilst doing her best to accommodate her new charge’s many enquiries. I just hope her new life, however long it lasts, is everything she hopes it will be. Plus, I haven’t even informed Spike yet about this hastily-agreed arrangement. I wonder if I can work something into his contract about filly-sitting…

Author's Note

Not the longest of half-chapters, but I wanted to add something to thank everyone who supported this story. I hope it continues to do as well as it did on the last update, and more importantly people still like reading what's to come. Trust me, you won't be disappointed... :raritywink:

Chapter Six part 2: Leaving For Canterlot

“Okay Diamond, we can go whenever you’re ready… are you ready?”

“Hold on a moment, Princess Twilight. I just have to run through my i-tinny-very. Let’s see: my favourite dresses, check. Spare tiara, check. Good Luck bracelet I got from Silv, oh no, where’s it gone? I absolutely positively refuse to go on any long haul journey without it. Who knows what could happen? We could crash midair, lightning might strike us, o-or worst of all, my hair might get wet!!”

“Nice to see you trying out that new word I taught you, Diamond. And relax, I just checked in with Rainbow Dash. The skies are all-clear for the rest of the day. In any case, the trip to Canterlot will only take a few hours by pegasi carriage, and as for your lucky charm now…”

“How can I possibly manage without it? Silv gave it to me when she found out I couldn’t come out to play because I had chickenpox. Daddy put it by my pillow while I napped, and you’ll never guess; next day I was all better! It was amazing! She’d kill me if she found out I’d lost it… well, maybe not, but you don’t know what she’s like when she’s mad…”

“...Nice story, but we have to get a move on. I want to arrive before it gets dark, and I have some of my own possessions to unpack tonight. Mostly books, admittedly. I haven’t even organised my personal library yet! Oh, and Diamond…”

“Y-Yes?”

“You can stop panicking. If your bracelet is shaped like a horseshoe, you’re wearing it on your left hind leg. It’s been there all afternoon, to the best of my recollection. Now that that’s settled, can you start loading your things into the back of the carriage please?”

“O-Oh, you’re right! Silly me! I was washing my forehooves after lunch, and I wanted to put it somewhere safe. So…”

“Diamond!! I don’t want to come off as a ‘pushy princess’, but you’re slightly testing my patience now.”

“Okay, message received, or whatever. Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to ask: could you help me out with my bags, Princess Twilight? For a weak filly like me, it looks like a tough job. But for an awesome alicorn with super magical-powers…”

“...Fine. Just this once, so we actually make good time. But remember what I told you earlier: just because you’re going to live in a palace for a bit, doesn’t mean you’re going to be waited on hoof-and-foot. There are certain things you’re going to have to learn to do for yourself…”

“Hurray! Thanks, Princess Twilight! I knew I could count on you!” Diamond Tiara only heard the alicorn’s first word, before she affectionately hugged the older mare around the neck and shot off into the distance.

Maybe I was too literal before when I told her she ‘wouldn’t want for anything’... Twilight sighed in defeat as she observed the crowned youngster gallop away, nearly leaving hoofprints on Spike en route while rushing down the corridor.

“H-Hey! Watch it!!” The dragon just managed to dive out of the way in time to avoid being crushed by the speeding pink blur, and whilst dusting himself off in the aftermath turned to stare questionably at a sheepish-looking Twilight.

“Are you sure about this? I thought your first week as Princess Of Equestria would be tough enough, without adding foster care to your bulging in-tray!”

“I know, I know.” Twilight stared down at her hooves thoughtfully for a second, as though trying to find the best way to explain. “It’s just… I can’t help but feel responsible for her. I was the one who took her away from everything she’s ever known, without having a clue what to do with her afterwards. It’s not like I planned for any of this to happen…!”

“Hmm. So no regrets, then?”

“None whatsoever! I made the right choice in difficult circumstances, and if I could go over and do it all again I wouldn’t change a thing. There was only one way things were heading if I’d left Diamond to fend for herself in that mansion, and it wasn’t anywhere good. By having her stay with me for now, I can keep an eye on her whilst taking full ownership of my decision. That’s what an accountable ruler would do, r-right?”

“...I’m probably not the right dragon to ask, having no real family apart from you and the girls and being tickled half-to-death by the filly you want to live with us. But if you really, truly, honestly want my advice…”

“Of course I do, Spike! Isn’t that why I hired you as Chief Advisor in the first place?”

“Okay then, don’t say you weren’t warned. Listen up…”

“...Well?”

“Are you nuts?!” Spike practically screamed out his reply, before looking at a shocked Twilight with a frisson of contrition. “...Oops, I apologise. That came out a tad harsher than I intended. What I actually meant to say was: even if it was one of the fillies we know really well, I’d have my doubts about making it work. You remember what an ordeal ‘Twilight Time’ was in the past, don’t you?”

“It.. It wasn’t that bad. I mean, there was the day Scootaloo nearly burned down the treehouse when she knocked that lantern over. I specifically forbade her from riding her scooter inside, too! Or Apple Bloom accidentally turning the Friendship Journal into a giant pumpkin on Nightmare Night. It took me days without sleep to find an effective counterspell! Also, who could forget ‘dear’ Sweetie Belle dropping that bucket on my head from above whilst practicing her magic? I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed, when the entire waiting room at the hospital saw me stagger in with my horn sticking out bumping into everything! Fine way for a Princess to be seen. At least I gave some ponies an amusing snapshot to treasure...”

“Exactly! You can see my point, then.” Spike seemed satisfied that Twilight was finally beginning to recognise the major ramifications of her impulsion. “If the situation got that out of control with three otherwise well-behaved fillies like the Crusaders, can you imagine what it might be like under the same roof as the one who’s got the worst reputation of them all? I have my own memories of ‘Twilight Time’, and I recall one very specific day when Diamond dragged along her entire class. She wasn’t even invited to the session, either! Do you remember? You made me prepare hundreds of nachos, and by the time I’d carried them down from the kitchen, everypony had already gone! My arms still ache just thinking about it! And let's not even mention the exploding giant apple... ”

“Oh, yes. That was her, wasn’t it?” Twilight reminisced momentarily about the chaos back then. “...But what have I told you before, on judging others based on past mistakes? You sound just like Rainbow Dash, when I asked her about the forecast earlier. She said ‘are you nuts’ in almost exactly the same voice as yours when I told her about my plans. The two of you aren’t in cahoots, are you…?”

“No! That’s just a coincidence. I think Rainbow just remembers how badly Diamond teased Scoots about not being able to fly before. Rainbow is very protective of her, as you know.” Spike refused to back down, having seemingly found an answer to everything. “I hear what you’re saying, but how can you be sure she’s changed that much? I mean, she practically assaulted me upstairs, almost flattened me down here and didn’t even say ‘thank you’ for the sumptuous feast I made for lunch…!”

“I hardly think daisy sandwiches qualifies as a ‘sumptuous feast’, Spike. And I know for a fact she feels really bad about what happened in your room. If you hang on long enough, I’m sure she’ll tell you that herself in good time. Just… try and have a bit of faith. Unlike you, I’ve walked around town talking to various ponies about what she’s been like in the last year or so. Do you know what I found out?”

“Please. Enlighten me.”

“Less of the snark, Spike. Anyway, I heard nothing but glowing reports, even from those she used to pick on. From the colt who replaced her as class president telling me Diamond really helped in getting him settled into the job, to Granny Smith who got a sincere apology for being mocked at Family Appreciation Day. Does that sound like a bully refusing to change her spots to you?”

“Hmph. I’d say she has more stripes than spots. And based on what I’ve seen so far, I’m still unconvinced. But I suppose, if you’re willing to, I could give her a chance. If I could get Thorax to change the entire philosophy of his species, I suppose anything’s possible.” Spike finally submitted to the selfless whims of his determined best friend. “If I’m going to be stuck looking after her sometimes, you better be right. Just because her name may be Diamond, doesn’t mean she’ll be as sweet as one.”

“...Not sure I can relate to that particular analogy, but regardless…” Twilight had little experience in the field of gems-crunching, so she’d have to take her advisor’s word for it. “...I’m glad I was finally able to win you round. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I think with both of our efforts and a bit of luck along the way, it might just turn out to be one of the most rewarding, nurturing…”

“You! Filly! Come back with that ancient spellbook this instant!”

“Hey, you weren’t using it. Plus, I needed something to doodle on.”

“Why, you little… Sunburst entrusted that to me himself, and I’m supposed to give it back tomorrow! It’s completely priceless, and older than you can possibly fathom!”

“If it’s that old, you might think about getting a newer one then! You should be able to get a good deal on it too, if it doesn’t have a price. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to finish colouring in this picture of Songbird Serenade I’ve drawn. She’s so cool, whatever the media or her old fans try to tell me. That one unpopular song she did about mules shouldn't define her whole career...”

“I don’t care about her, or your ‘artwork’! Just… give me my book back! Now!” As if on cue, an apoplectic Starlight Glimmer chased a surprisingly nimble Diamond Tiara through the central hall, with the smaller pony holding onto the aforementioned tome in her mouth as if her life depended on it, and Starlight…

...Well, it seemed the reformed unicorn was straining every sinew to avoid aiming a blast of pure energy at the runaway youngster. She’d resisted up till now, but judging by her irate demeanour the self-imposed ceasefire might not last for much longer.

Twilight took all of a few seconds to assess the tense situation, before deciding that direct intervention was by far the best course of action. “I-I’ll just be a minute or two. Don’t think this changes anything I’ve said, because it doesn’t… hey, Diamond! Put that yellow crayon down right now! That’s an order…!’

As the noisy trio faded into the depths of the castle, Spike’s response to what he’d just witnessed was to make his expression ever more deadpan, his arms even more folded.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything…” he flatly said, before whistling merrily on his way back upstairs to finish cataloguing the rest of his vast comic book collection.

Author's Note

Had a blast with this chapter. Hope you did too. Until we meet again then... :yay:

Chapter Seven part 1: Parting Of The Ways

“So, are you sure you’re okay with us leaving now, Starlight?”

“Relax, Twilight. The Friendship Castle is in safe hooves with me! The same applies to your school, too. If anything happens while you’re gone, you’ll be the second to know. After me, of course.”

“Alright, but do you remember everything I told you?”

“Yes, yes. No ‘renovations’ to the edifice until you okay them first. Polish the crystal from top to bottom once a week. Keep the noise down if I have any friends staying in for sleepovers…”

“By ‘friends’, I just meant Trixie. But yes, that sounds about right, and I trust you with anything else I might’ve neglected to mention. Now, about your new role as headmare…”

“Twilight! You know you already wrote an extensive list of rules for everything, including the stuff you just told me!” Starlight rolled her eyes at the alicorn’s typically overzealous approach to detail. “If you spend too long here talking, your pegasi steeds aren’t going to be able to see the route to Canterlot! I thought you said you wanted to be there before nightfall…!”

“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh. It’s happening again!! I’m so focused on everypony else’s business, I plain forgot about my own!” Twilight slapped the tip of her horn in frustration, eliciting a slight ‘thunk’ in response. “It’s just so hard leaving behind such a big part of my life, to go and live somewhere else. Of course it could be said I was returning to a big part of my life, since I was born and raised in Canterlot…”

“Go!!” Starlight let out a good-natured shout, before throwing her hooves around the jittery alicorn. “You’ve said goodbye to all the students. All your possessions are safely packed ready to transport. You can return to visit whenever you like, and I promise that nothing is going to happen to either the castle or the school in your absence. In other words, there’s nothing left to do here. To be honest, I’d be more worried about what awaits you over there…”

“Oh, don’t be too concerned about me! I’ve been training myself to take Celestia and Luna’s place for over a year since they floated the idea. I read the Equestrian constitution from cover-to-cover more times than I dare to count, I took lessons in diplomacy from some of the best international consuls, and as for trade…”

“No Twilight, that’s not quite what I meant. I was referring more to, er… your recent initiation into the ‘joys’ of parenthood. I know I said you made the right choice, but that was before I discovered what a hoofful Diamond could be. Are you… are you sure this is what you want to do?”

Starlight’s hoof pointed to the passenger area of the ready-to-depart carriage, where a sulking pink filly sat next to Spike. Neither pony or dragon were paying each other any attention though, in fact Diamond had barely uttered a word since her ‘colouring book’ was forcibly removed via magic from her crayon-stained grip.

“O-Oh, that. Yes, I think she’ll be fine. She’s just going through a few teething problems, that’s all. Once I get her settled in at Canterlot, and the majesty and magnificence of the city start to take hold, I’m sure she’ll be far too busy being overawed to…”

“Princess Twilight! Princess Twilight!! I’m bboorreedd! None of your servants will play i-spy with me! Spike won’t toast my marshmallow! These seats feel like they’re made of sandpaper…”

Diamond did what she’d done best since arriving in Twilight’s care, which was to kick up a right old fuss. As well as literally kick the back of her seat with great vigour, earning her a few frowns from the usually stoic pegasi guards (not servants) and a side-eye from the silently seething Spike.

Starlight cast a questionable glance to Twilight as if to ask ‘you were saying?’, but the alicorn had already been dealt with Spike’s initial skepticism and wasn’t about to change her plans at this late stage.

“Listen, Starlight. It’ll be fine… I’ll have a long talk with her about the ‘do’s’ and ‘don’t’ of being under my wing once we arrive, and lay everything on the line. The rest of the girls are arriving tomorrow anyway for a banquet thrown in their honour, so if I can’t get her to behave for that important occasion, I may as well give up now.”

“Wait. You’re telling me, you didn’t cancel that already?”

“No, of course I didn’t! This’ll be the first time I get to see some of my best friends since becoming ruler. It’s only a shame you can’t attend, but I understand if your new schedule as headmare is keeping you fully engaged. Why, what made you think I would?”

“Well… it’s just…” Starlight hesitated to say it, but she cast her eye back to an increasingly fidgety Diamond, who now made mock snoring noises whilst pretending to be deceased.

“Like I said, all it’ll take is a bit of time and perseverance, and everything will be great!” Twilight firmly rebuked Starlight’s understandable doubts, though it sounded like she was more trying to convince herself. “I mean, look at all the friendship problems I’ve managed to solve! The villains I managed to defeat! The world I helped to save! Surely motherhood can’t be too much of an additional burden…”

“I’m not going to tell you to do anything. This is your life, and your choices. Just… good luck, and if you or Diamond ever need anypony to speak to, you know where to find me. After all, you are talking to an officially certified self-trained counsellor here!”

“Nice idea, but what about that new trainee you just appointed? I believe her name is ‘Miss Lulamoon’, or something? Are you telling me she’s not up to the job(!)”

Starlight chuckled at Twilight’s attempt at humour there, and decided to respond in kind. “Oh, you mean Trixie? Nah! She’ll be great, but she’s a bit too inexperienced at this stage to deal with a situation of such emotional complexity. For now, I’ll just have her talk to plants. If none of them start wilting by the end of next week, I’m thinking of promoting her to real-life creatures! Won’t that be impressive…!”

Both mares laughed in unison, before sharing what they both knew would be the last look they’d have together for a long time.

“S-Starlight?”

“Yes, my Queen(!)”

“I just wanted to tell you… how proud I am of how far you’ve come…”

“You mean from my old village? I agree, it is a bit of a journey. Really gives you bad corns, if you don’t take regular breaks along the way.”

“Starlight!! Can you stop joking around for just a second? I’m trying to have a ‘moment’ with you here…”

“I appreciate it Twilight, but we already had that big farewell party just after your coronation where drinks were consumed, speeches were made and plenty of tears and platitudes were shed. We know how each of us feels, now the only thing left to do is to fulfil our destinies and move forward into the future. We’ll both do a fantastic job we’ll be happy with, so what’s there left to worry about? Before you go though, maybe we can play one more game. This was inspired by your new ‘protege’: i-spy with my little eye, something beginning with… D.”

“Okay, Starlight. I’ll play along for old time's sake, but remember: just because I say those kinds of things a lot, it doesn’t make them any less true. Anyway, the answer is obviously ‘D for Diamond Tiara’. You forget, I’ve seen where you’ve been staring the past few minutes.”

“Nice try, but wrong I’m afraid. Do you honestly think I’d be that predictable? And wouldn’t the clue be DT if that was the solution…?”

“Okay then, whatever. You win. Just tell me as I’m leaving, because I fear that if I don’t go right now, I may never want to… Diamond!! What do you think you’re doing?!”

A nonchalant Starlight observed the alicorn gallop over to the carriage to remonstrate angrily with Diamond, as the impatient filly’s ennui finally reached its peak and she was now in the progress of using her barbed tiara to poke holes inside the plush interior.

Destruction, disobedience, delinquency, desperation… the solution could’ve been any one of those. Starlight watched the pair of ponies still squabbling with each other as the carriage departed, to the extent that only an undistracted Spike returned her wave goodbye. I have a feeling Twilight finally knows what she’s let herself in for. Well, if anypony can get results, it’s her. Anyway, after all that, it’s time for a good long soak in the tub. Now where did I put those bath salts? Hopefully, she didn't take them with her...

Author's Note

...Or it could've been 'D for Dragon' I guess. :moustache:

Anyway, I thought it would be unrealistic for Diamond to be an angel when first being with Twilight, after all she's just been separated from her parents and it's in her nature to be a bit of a brat. Just because she took big strides towards redemption, it doesn't mean she doesn't let her 'crown' slip occasionally. Especially considering the massive upheaval she's currently going through now... :applejackunsure:

I hope you'll stick around for the next chapter when we touchdown in Canterlot, and a mare, a filly and a drake discover just how difficult it can be sharing a life together. Especially whilst trying to run a country! Sounds like the formula for a sitcom, doesn't it? Believe me, it ain't. :twilightoops:

Chapter Seven part 2: Absent Friends.

At around the same time the pegasi-pulled carriage left Ponyville air space, another more modern mode of transport braked nearby. The Friendship Express had arrived back from it’s long trip to Manehattan, with most of the passengers on board seemingly consisting of boisterous fillies and colts who hadn’t given anycreature else on board a moment’s peace the entire journey.

As you can imagine, they loved that. Some of them were ready to sign adoption papers the very second they disembarked.

“Wow, All The Pretty Ponies was some show! I give it two-hooves up!” Sweetie Belle beamed, clutching her Bridleway balloon with great pride as she stepped off onto the platform. “And I can’t believe Miss Cheerilee treated us all to snacks afterwards!”

“Personally, I found it a bit too soppy. Why does everything these days have to end with mare-meets-stallion? Bleurgh!” Scootaloo stuck out her long tongue to emphasise her point. “Still, I did like the free burritos! Almost saved the day for me…”

“Your problem Scootaloo, is you have no romance in your soul! And I don’t count ‘loving’ a scooter!” Sweetie Belle frowned at what she regarded as her friend’s main deficiency. “Plus, why did you have to have that extra-spicy hot-pepper filling in your burrito? I could smell it all the way back to town! Yuck!”

“Hey! You like what you like, and I’ll like what I like. You forgot; I had to put up with all of your ‘oohing’ and awwing’ whenever there was a big kissing scene in that stupid play!” Scootaloo barked back, determined to have her say. “And if I hear you call me ‘Burrito Breath’ one more time…”

“Girls! I don’t mean to interrupt your ‘lively’ discussion, but did you notice Silver Spoon today?”

“Huh?”

Both unicorn and pegasus paused their simmering feud to glance at Apple Bloom, who in turn was staring through one of the outside windows at a still-seated Silver Spoon, the only occupant who hadn’t left the vehicle yet.

“She’s been lookin’ that beat-up since this morning…” Apple Bloom said with palpable concern, observing the despondent grey figure through the glass. “Even durin’ the play, she was kinda starin’ off to the side, not really watchin’ it…”

“Really? Wish I’d thought of that!” Scootaloo pondered out loud, whilst exhaling on her hoof and sniffing it to see if the stench was as bad as was claimed.

“Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle growled at her fellow Crusader’s notoriously short attention span. “Sorry, Apple Bloom. We’re listening… well, at least one of us is. Please, carry on.”

“She didn’t want any food afterwards, either. While the rest of us were laughin’, jokin’ and eatin’ together, she went out of her way to sit on the other side of the room and look down at the ground the whole time. She did pretty much the same thing on the way back, too. Gotta admit, I am kinda worried about her.”

Sweetie Belle and Scootallo took in this new information, and thought back to their own observations of the grey filly throughout the day.

“Now that you mention it…”

“She did seem sort of sad.”

“I could understand if it was just missing Diamond Tiara, who wasn’t with us today. But my Apple Senses are telling me there’s more to it than that…” Apple Bloom continued to watch a very static Silver Spoon with compassion. “She was glancin’ at that bracelet of hers a lot, as well. You know, the one shaped like a crown of flowers? I have a pretty good idea who gave that to her....”

“Er… ‘Apple Senses’?” Scootaloo raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Is this some kind of hidden power of yours we don’t know about yet?”

“She said ‘Apple Sauces’, silly! You did, didn’t you Apple Bloom? Because otherwise, I don’t know what you mean…” Sweetie Belle was equally perplexed. “Of course even if you did say ‘Apple Sauces’, it’s still nonsense…”

“It’s kinda hard to explain. It’s when you know some creature’s in trouble, even when they say otherwise. Granny says she thinks I got it from my parents, or something.” Apple Bloom didn’t have time to go into details, as there were more pressing issues. “Anyway, the reason I didn’t talk to her about it before is because I thought it would be kinda rude. It was sorta obvious she wanted to be left by herself. But now the train has stopped and she hasn’t even noticed, I’m thinkin’ of…”

“What are you three fillies still doing here?” Miss Cheerilee stepped into the scene, wondering why her last few remaining students hadn’t vacated the area yet. “Applejack and Rarity are waiting for you over there, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. And you know you’re supposed to wait with me until Rainbow Dash has finished Wonderbolt duty, Scootaloo. What could be so interesting that’s stopping you from… ah, I see.”

The moment Miss Cheerilee spotted the forlorn grey filly in the carriage not staring back, she immediately pieced together the situation. They were worried about their friend, bless their hearts. But how to explain things to them, without going into…

“Listen to me very carefully. You must have noticed Silver Spoon looking out-of-sorts today, I saw it too. But what she’s currently going through is her business, and it’s not up to you to interfere. If she wants to tell you what’s happening, then she will in her own time. Until then, as hard as it may seem, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave her alone. The fact you’re so concerned about her speaks very highly of your character, but there comes a time when privacy must be respected and any questions might make things worse. Now, why don’t you leave her to me, and…”

“We thought it might be something to do with Diamond Tiara.” For the second time in the last few minutes, Scootaloo’s filter had failed her. While Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded along solemnly absorbing every word, the orange pegasus’s inquisitive mind couldn’t help but ask the question.

“That… is neither here nor there.” Miss Cheerilee frowned slightly at Scootaloo’s unhindered curiosity, a reaction mirrored by her other Crusaders. “Whatever may or may not be troubling her shouldn’t matter to you right now. You fillies’ only focus should be on returning home instead of hanging around the railway at such a late hour. So, like I said, please allow me to go in and help her. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, find your sisters. Scootaloo, wait for me over there until I’m done. Now, please.”

The trio of youngsters knew better than to argue when their teacher put on that voice. They briefly exchanged goodbyes, mumbling that they’d ‘meet up tomorrow morning’, mostly so they could make an early start on the big clean-up operation caused by their tinned food drive fiasco.

After making sure the group had split up and was walking off in different directions, Miss Cheerilee made her way onto the Friendship Express to softly sit next to Silver Spoon.

“Hi there. I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I think I know what might be bothering you. I know you didn’t want to talk about it when I asked you earlier, but do you think you might have changed…”

“I’m not deaf. I heard them chatting about me outside.” Silver Spoon spoke without turning her head, her trademark white braid being the only part that vaguely moved. “I don’t care what they say. They can’t help me. You can’t help me. Nopony can help me. Even my parents don’t seem to care…”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Miss Cheerilee exclaimed in surprise, wanting to hug the grey filly but worried that such a sudden move may cause her student to back away. “Your parents love you! How could you possibly think…”

“Because they’re keeping secrets from me!!” Silver Spoon turned to face her teacher for the first time, and Miss Cheerilee noticed now just how teary and sore the grey filly’s glasses-less eyes were. “I know something is going on with Di, but they won’t tell me anything! All they’ll say is ‘it might be a while before you can see her again’. What’s that supposed to mean?! Is she sick? Hurt? Going away somewhere? I keep asking them, but they refuse to speak about it! W-What do they expect me to do? Keep quiet, after hearing something like that about my best friend? T-They don’t care! N-Nopony cares! What am I supposed to do without her?!”

And as a distraught Silver Spoon finally allowed herself to cry freely and flung into the open arms of an equally distressed teacher…

A crouching orange figure outside, who’d long since given into the temptation of eavesdropping, put her hoof to her mouth in shock at what she’d just heard.

Wow. Wait ‘til Sweetie and Apple Bloom hear about this...

Author's Note

I did inform you all that this fic would sometimes venture into other characters' POVs, didn't I? Well, here you go. This is a multi-layered tale, and will affect many other creatures, and not the ones you necessarily expect either... :moustache:

Anyway, hope this style suits your palate. Next part, back to Canterlot we go. Let the chaos... commence! :derpyderp1:

Chapter Eight part 1: A Rough Ride.

“First of all Diamond, I hope you’re going to treat your room in Canterlot with a little more respect than my personal carriage! You just ruined a perfectly good plush seat, and Celestia knows how much it’ll cost to get it replaced...”

“Seeing as YOU’RE the one in charge now, shouldn’t it be ‘Twilight knows’? Also, can’t we discuss this later? I’m trying to enjoy the view.”

“No, we’ll ‘discuss’ it now, young filly! I swear, if I spoke to my elders the way you’re talking to me now, I wouldn’t have even been allowed to go to class, let alone qualify for Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns…”

“...And that’s what you call a punishment? If behaving like this got me out of going to boring lessons and attending a stupid school full of horned geeks, I’d have been the biggest troublemaker in the world! Oh darn it, a big grey cloud just blew right in front of the window…”

“Horned Geeks?!” Twilight recoiled in horror at being described thus, as it brought back painful memories of being teased by a slightly less… educated crowd. “Now, see here! My formative educational days were some of the most rewarding of my life! The precious friends I made there, like Moon Dancer and er… various others. The invaluable skills I picked up, like extended levitation and advanced teleportation! Or, was it the other way around? Plus, if I’d never gone there, I never would’ve met Spike. When he hatched right in front of me… precious memories…”

A mildly emotional Twilight took this opportunity to glance over to where Spike sat nearby, perhaps hoping that this would be the catalyst for ‘a moment’, the sort that Starlight snotilly rejected between the two of them just before liftoff.

Alas, the hopeful alicorn was about to be disappointed twice in one afternoon. For instead of gazing wistfully into his bestie’s eyes about the distant past, Spike was currently curled up comfortably from top-to-tail with little puffs of smoke emitting from his nostrils to indicate each slumbering breath.

Whether he was genuinely all tuckered out from the exhausting ‘playtime’ Diamond Tiara had subjected him to earlier, or whether he faked his nap to get a well-earned break from his sometimes demanding alicorn chum and her unpredictable new ward, who can say.

In the meantime though, with Diamond currently transfixed by the birds-eye view from above, and Spike apparently lost to the Land Of Nod, Twilight was more-or-less left talking to herself.

Not that I want to come across as a diva, but I thought as a Princess, especially one that’s now running the entire country, every creature would hang on my every word… Twilight thought ruefully, feeling quite alone all of a sudden. Wish I didn’t have to wait until tomorrow to speak to the girls again, about the only ponies I’ll see until then are Diamond and my personal guard… say, now there’s an idea…

Suffice to say, the usually stoic pegasus Iron Head was most surprised when in the midst of helping out his fellow teammates to fly the carriage safely to Canterlot, a distinctly royal voice could be heard shouting at him, though in a notably friendly manner. “I say! You there, second from the left. What are you doing later? I was wondering if you’d like to…”

Sadly, whatever Twilight’s invitation consisted of, it was destined never to be heard. For as Iron Head strained to hear the alicorn’s question above the howl of the rushing wind…

…He almost collided into the adjacent pegasi as he turned, earning undisguised looks of irritation from his fellow riders and a sheepish one to hoof from Twilight.

“O-Oops. Sorry. I-I didn’t mean to disrupt…” Twilight stammered an apology to Iron Head, as she slumped embarrassed back in her seat. What was I thinking?! You should never interrupt a party of pegasi ponies when they’ve got passengers in the air! Every filly and colt knows that!!

As if she hadn’t gotten the point already, the bit of turbulence had apparently been enough to rouse Spike from his shuteye. He was now shaking his head unimpressed with a long-practised exasperated sigh, and as for Diamond…

Well, she was about to pour salt on the open wound. Of course.

“Gee, Princess. Didn’t you know you’re never supposed to interrupt a party of pegasi ponies when they have passengers in the air? Every filly and colt knows that. What did they teach you at that ‘School for Grifting Unicorns’? How to get killed?!”

Unable to say anything in her defence, Twilight narrowed her eyes at the smug youngster who’d now returned to gazing unhindered out into the wild blue yonder, though this time with a great big smirk on her face.

Spike, I swear. You better be as good with your new wings as you say you are, because you may need to catch a falling filly midair if this carries on much longer.

***********************

“We’re here! We’re here! WE’RE HERE… Oops, sorry Spike. I didn’t mean to tread on your tail. Why is it so long, anyway…?”

“Calm down, Diamond… and sit down! Wait for us to land first, before moving about… and don’t worry, Spike. We can put something on that as soon as we get inside.”

With a jubilant filly jumping up and down like a yo-yo inside the narrow confines of the carriage, and a screeching dragon more-or-less doing the same (though in this instance more due to sheer pain than excitement) Iron Head and the rest of his crew might’ve been forgiven for wondering why they hadn’t been advised to take out life insurance in advance of this trip, even as they neared the towering spires of the illustrious city known as Canterlot.

In the end, it was Twilight who saved the day (as usual) by holding Diamond and Spike in place via magic until their vehicle was safely on the ground once more. She hadn’t consulted her list today for at least an hour, but she was pretty sure ‘Crash Landing Outside The Palace’ wasn’t part of the agenda.

“Right, now what’s going to happen next is…” Twilight tried to take control of proceedings even as she struggled to gather her own wits, but she might as well have been talking to a brick wall…

…Or Diamond Tiara’s pinkish flank, which was the last she saw of the uncooperative filly as she disappeared at record speed through the opening castle doors.

“W-What the… she didn’t even stop to listen…” Twilight blinked in confusion, before turning to her trusted advisor, perhaps hoping for some clarification as to what to do next.

For his part, all Spike had to offer by way of response was a defeatist shrug of the shoulders. “After what we’ve seen so far of Diamond, I’m surprised that you’re surprised. The only thing I can suggest is that you sit down and give her one of those heart-to-hearts I know you’re so good at and set out a few ‘ground rules’. It might work, it might not… but hey, what have you got to lose?”

“B-But… I already did that… back at the Map Room… I went under the table with her, and everything.”

“Maybe it takes more than one pep talk in a secluded spot to get through to an out-of-control child. Who knows? I’m not a parent, and after the last few hours, the chances of me ever entering that ‘special’ club are diminishing by the second.” Spike pondered momentarily, before deciding to put it to the alicorn straight. “In case you’ve forgotten, I was against this crazy idea from the beginning. We’ve got enough on our plate overseeing the transition from Celestia and Luna to you, without having some little bra… filly galloping around the place, causing havoc. But you told me you could make it work, so against my better judgement I went along with it. Still not having any second thoughts…?”

“Yes! I-I mean… no! Of course not! I made myself a promise I’d see this arrangement through to the end, and by Celestia, I’m going to do it! For Diamond’s sake, and for my honour as a Princess. S-She’s just going through a few teething problems, that’s all. Once she gets settled down, I’m sure everything will be okay. I’ll tell you what I’ll do… I’m gonna march right in there now, and give her so much love and support, she’ll be swimming in it! You hear me, Spike? Drowning in it!!”

On this partially shrieked note, Twilight wasted no more time and ran straight into her new home, from which considerable bangs and smashes and crashes could already be heard emanating (as well as a few explosions, although this could perhaps be put down to a half-crazed alicorn’s febrile imagination).

As for Spike, he shared a sceptical look with the pegasi crew which could roughly be translated as yeah, I know before trotting calmly into the palace after his more hyperactive two equine companions to uncork a bottle of soothing lotion for his sore tail. It had kindly been gifted to him by Zecora last week by way of a going away present, and it was already half-empty.

(Starlight and Trixie had been learning to tap-dance together in the Friendship Castle recently, taking advantage of Twilight’s many Princess-related absences, and they weren’t yet very good at looking where they were hot-stepping).

The guards watched the last of their passengers go inside with trepidation, and whilst they removed the buckles from their backs in preparation for a hard night’s duty one stark truth dawned on all of them…

No matter whatever the danger is out there, the most clear and present one can be found right here in the castle. No magic. No superstrength. Less than 3ft tall.

Just a cute filly, in other words. So, why are we grown adults shaking in our armour at the prospect of living with her?

Maybe we should’ve stayed home with Mother…

Author's Note

Hello, strangers! Yes, I have returned! (Don't all rejoice at once) :trollestia:

I've been meaning to come back for while, but first I had to wade through some life-related shit, then I had to decide which of my chapter fics to update. :twilightoops:

I eventually opted for this one because 1) it's not so long I have to read through pages and pages of it to catch up. 2) It's relatively new so hopefully not that many of the current readers will have gone away and 3) I remembered how much I enjoyed writing it, so away we go! :rainbowdetermined2:

NOTHING else will be updated, and there will be NO new stories until this one is done and dusted, you have my solemn word on that. :pinkiehappy:

Oh, and what do you think of Gen 5. Not much cop is it? :scootangel:

Chapter Eight part 2: House Rules.

Wow, I thought our mansion was big; Celestia’s… I mean, Twilight’s palace makes it look like a playhouse in comparison. A genuinely impressed Diamond Tiara rapidly hopped from room to room, taking in all the grandeur and splendour of her ornate surroundings with a mixture of awe and envy.

I’d only been here once before as part of a school trip, but that had to be cut short because of an ‘incident’. Why did Snip and Snails think they could both squeeze into that suit of armour together? Me and Silv could’ve seen all this, instead of waiting at the hospital for somepony to get a giant tin-opener. Honestly, those dolt-colts…

The merest flickering thought of her lifelong bestie, now far, far away in the much humbler backdrop of Ponyville, did cause Diamond to halt her headlong charge temporarily. I-I wish she was here with me now. It’s not half as much fun seeing the sights of Canterlot without her by my side. Maybe I could ask Princess Twilight if Silv could come for a visit… no, I’ll demand it. It’s like Daddy always says if you want to be in charge: Assertation, Not Deliberation. D-Daddy…

During her somewhat tempestuous trip through the sky to her temporary home, Diamond had been swept along by the heady experience to the extent that she’d been able to cast aside her innermost feelings on those she’d left behind. But now that not only her closest confidante but also loving father figure were no longer around and the cold, hard reality of her new living situation encircled her from every conceivable angle…

…All the fraught mental baggage that came with it began bubbling to the surface once again. That is to say, the self-confessed ‘unbreakable’ Diamond Tiara started shedding a few tears onto the freshly-polished marble floors of the main hall.

Geez, w-why are you doing this again, you pathetic loser? Didn’t you tell Daddy just before you left that you’d be a strong, brave filly while you were away? Maybe Mommy was right about you all along. Y-You’re just a hopeless weakling who trades off the family name. ‘That valuable cutie mark is wasted on you, young filly. You’ll never grow up to become a powerful leader, if you let your emotions control your actions’. I-I know she told me a lot of wrong things, but perhaps, in this case, she was r-right…

Diamond struggled to control the flow of moisture from her eyes, even as she admonished herself personally for ‘disgracing’ her historical heritage. Her business-orientated father and self-entitled mother gave her such radically different advice from two completely unique perspectives, sometimes it was difficult to process everything into a cohesive whole…

…Particularly when you’re a maturing child yourself, still getting used to the world around you. Familial expectations, parental discord and now a forced relocation; it all added up to an uncomfortably bewildering sense of confusion and uncertainty that anypony of any age would find hard to endure, and Diamond Tiara was just nine.

Still, one of the upsides of living in denial for so long about the pressures of a rough upbringing is that you tend to develop various ‘mechanisms’ to deal with them. With Diamond it used to be the senseless bullying of her peers, but now she was trying to push that particular outlet aside…

…She’d decided to act like a brat to older ponies, instead. You tended to get away with a lot more of that anyway, in her experience. They’re so patient. So tolerant. And so, so more gullible.

“Hey, what are you lot looking at?!” Diamond abruptly snapped out of her morose funk to glare in anger at some of the castle guards around her, who seemed torn between holding their positions as commanded or aiding the obviously upset filly in their midst. “Didn’t you servants get the memo? I live here from now on, so you better treat me as the princess I am! This crown on my head isn’t just there because it looks pretty, you know! So, now what I want you to tell me is… where’s the biggest room… what are we having for dinner… who’s going to bring my luggage in… oh, and where can I go to the bathroom…?”

********************

Oh where oh where can that nuisance filly have got to?! Twilight flew around the palace at top speed, whilst still being polite enough to nod at every sentry who saluted her as she passed by. I’ve tried the kitchen, the throne room, the meeting chamber, the garden… sorry Flurry Heart, but I do believe we have a new hide-and-seek champion, and her name is…

“Diamond Tiara?!” The final part of Twilight’s soliloquy there was stated out loud, as Twilight was just able to brake her wings in time to avoid colliding with what could only be described as a mini military procession.

Eight of her most loyal hoofpicked palace soldiers were marching four-a-side single file, with an unmistakable pink filly in the centre barking out orders: “...So, it’s agreed then. You two can carry my bags indoors, you two can go tell the chef what I want for supper, you two can go prepare my bedroom, and the last of you can guard the bathroom door while I take care of… business. Perform these tasks for me adequately, and I’ll even put in a good word with… Princess Twilight! How lovely to see you! I was just updating your servants on the new living situation here. Don’t worry, I’m starting to feel at home already… er, Princess Twilight? Why is your face turning red? Are you feeling okay?”

No, in fact ‘Princess Twilight’ was not feeling okay.

In fact, it took every fibre in her being to stop herself exactly expressing the true extent that she wasn’t ‘feeling okay’.

After all, it is most unbecoming to lose one’s temper in front of a child.

Especially with half your guards watching on, nonplussed.

So, with almost superpony reserves of restraint and control, Twilight swallowed her innate anger and attempted at least to address her new charge with as much cordiality as her current irate mood would permit.

“You. Upstairs. Now. We need to have a serious talk about the way things work around here, which is…”

(At this point Twilight gestured to the soldiers around her, some of which now didn’t seem to know whether they were coming or going)

“...Almost the exact opposite of this.”

“Oh, horsefeathers. I knew you’d ruin this for me…” Diamond rolled her eyes at Twilight’s firm reprimand, whilst using a mild profanity Scootaloo had been kind enough to teach her. “ What’s wrong with lending me the use of your staff? If Randolph was here, I’d be happy to share. So much for ‘making me feel at home’. Can’t we at least have a meal first, before we chat? I hate using such common language, but… I’m starving.”

“...Alright then, but nothing too fancy. It’s late though, so all the cooks have probably…”

“Great! I’ll have a walnut salad then, with olives, pomegranates, kiwis and strawberries. And no dressing, please. It totally ruins the exotic flavour.”

“W-Wait, Diamond. I-I’m not even sure we have all those…”

“Whatever. I’ll just make do without the lettuce. It’s the worst part, anyway. I’ll just be going to the little mare’s room first, then I’ll meet you in the dining area. This place is so massive, by the time I find it the salad will probably be ready. Well, be seeing you!”

Before Twilight could inform the demanding filly that iceberg lettuce was probably the only ingredient on her extended list they had in stock, she was already half on her way to emptying her bladder.

Twilight watched her disappear for the second time since their arrival in Canterlot with a frustrated shake of the head.

“What am I going to do with her?” she pondered out loud, not really caring at this tense juncture if anypony could hear her hopeless lament.

But while the guards who were now shuffling back to their posts in earnest either didn’t have the courage or experience to put any useful suggestions forward…

…The solution may just have arrived in the form of a snarky reptilian advisor, freshly appearing on the scene and with a natty bandage on his tail to hoof.

“...Well, I have a few ideas, but I don’t think you’d accept any of them. So, did I miss anything? Oops, looking at your face, you better not answer that. Anyway, what’s for supper?!”

Author's Note

*With laser-like focus, and a head as clear as spring water, the author swiftly publishes another update and sits back, ready for the inevitable onslaught of praise to begin anew* :ajsleepy:

Oh sorry, was I dreaming again? Luna says "Hi", btw. (WHY there isn't a Lunar emoji, I don't know. This is blatant sibling discrimination.) :twilightangry2:

Anyway, thanks for reading. Got a feeling I said that already, though. :rainbowhuh:

Chapter Nine Part 1: My Fair Filly.

“Aww, Princess Twilight; do we have to do this right now? This is way past my usual bedtime, I still have to get used to my new bed, and you won’t even let me have a late night snack to help put me to sleep…!”

“Well, if you hadn’t pinged half your fresh salad at Spike instead of eating it like you were supposed to, maybe you wouldn’t still be half-famished. Honestly, why I ransacked the whole castle to find you those ingredients, I don’t know. Anyway, in answer to your question, yes it is important we have this filly-to-mare chat now you’re living here, because…”

“...’Because’ you’re a boring old royal windbag who likes the sound of her own voice, right? You’re just like Mommy! Minus the ‘royal’ part, of course. Geez, I don’t know why I thought coming here would be fun. I mean, I like the instant service, and I love my new room… but right now I’m getting as many lectures and punishments as I got back in Ponyville!”

“Being asked to clear your plate after a meal is not a ‘punishment’, Diamond; it is simply a polite courtesy to the hard-working kitchen staff who’ll cook for you every day while you’re a guest here! As I’ve told you twice since you came here, you’re not going to be waited on hoof-and-foot! Any more than I’d expect to be! And as for your ‘lovely new room’...

“...What about it?” ‘Yawn’

“It may have escaped your attention, but it is actually my room. I’m only letting you have it this first night whilst you’re settling in because you threatened to bounce the bed-springs into oblivion until you got your way! Why you couldn’t have had that perfectly adequate one across the corridor I especially set up in anticipation of your stay, I don’t know.”

“We Rich’s don’t do ‘Perfectly Adequate’, Princess Twilight. If we don’t expect the best in everything we do, how are we supposed to prove we’re the most important ponies in Equestria? You see, Mother always says…”

“I think both of us could do with a break from the ‘pearls of wisdom’ of Mrs Spoiled Rich.” An increasingly wearisome Twilight rubbed her brow in frustration, realising they’d now been talking for a good five minutes and the conversation had gotten her nowhere. “But what you’ve just said does raise an interesting question. Why do you think you’re important, Diamond?”

“Why?” The pink filly stared at her alicorn interrogator across the now cleared dining table as if she was mentally defective. “That’s easy! Because we’re the wealthiest, most influential family in the entire world, and therefore among the elite society…”

“Without the egotistical spiel from your mother, if you please.” Twilight rolled her eyes at Spoiled Rich’s baked-in propaganda inside Diamond’s poor delicate mind, before noticing the filly blinking at her in confusion. “...Oh sorry, ‘spiel’ was supposed to be the word I’d teach you today. It means nonsense speech that doesn’t have much basis in reality. Kind of what your mother taught you there.”

“Y-You mean…” Diamond vigorously rubbed her drowsy eyes as if this newfound revelation was the most startling news ever. “We’re not important?”

“I-I never said that!!” Twilight held back a slight growl of impatience. Maybe this could’ve waited until the morning… but no, it’s best if we just get it out into the open now so it’s something she can think on tonight. “ Every pony and creature is important to me! What I meant was, to hold oneself in such high regard to others is not how we do things in Equestria. Celestria nor Luna ever felt that way, and neither do I. And that’s exactly how I intend on reigning, by never thinking of myself as being superior to others…”

“...Even though you live in a cool castle, with a hundred butlers and like, a thousand guards?” Diamond, despite her rapidly drooping eyes, still managed to raise an eyebrow sceptically. “How can you not feel better than everypony else, when you have so much stuff compared to them? Not to mention, the power to do whatever you want!”

“T-That’s an over-exaggeration, Diamond! For a start, I’ve told you to do plenty of things since you’ve arrived, and have you taken a blind bit of notice? I think we both know the answer to that! Any Princess worth her salt knows that to impose their will upon those they govern isn’t a good ruler at all, but a tyrant! As for all of my personal possessions…”

“Yes?” ‘Deeper Yawn’

“Books. That’s like, 95% of what I own. Most of the fancy items you see hanging on the walls were here before, and I plan to have them taken down and auctioned off, with all the proceeds going to charity. I’ve already discussed this at length with Celestia and Luna, and they are in complete agreement. If there’s one thing I want to be remembered for afterwards, it’s that I was accountable for the creatures I was lucky enough to serve. And that means, not putting on such an ostentatious display when they kindly come and visit me in Canterlot Castle.”

“Austin… what?”

“Oh, sorry. That can be your ‘Word Of The Day’ for tomorrow.” In her extended disquisition of trying to get her young charge to understand the difference between using one’s influence for good versus personal enhancement, Twilight had forgotten not everypony was as verbose as her. “Anyway, I can see you’re about ready to nod off now, so…”

“Hurray!!”

“...I’ll just leave you with this final thought.”

Groans.

“Please don’t make that petulant noise, Diamond. I hear enough of that kind of rudeness from Spike, and if I don’t let him get away with it, I’m certainly not going to accept it from a young filly like yourself!”

“Whatever. Let’s just… get this over and done with” Gosh, Spike. If I knew you had to put up with these stupid neverending blah-fests every day I wouldn’t have tortured you so much earlier. I feel for you, you’re far stronger than I’ll ever be…

“...So anyway, where was I? Ah yes. As you know I am an alicorn, although previously I was a unicorn. Both phases though, had one thing in common. You know what that is, dontcha? That’s right, magic! My point is, if I wanted to ‘compel’ you to do everything, all I’d have to do is light up my horn. But I don’t, because that would be wrong. Having power in a more psychical sense can be seen as more-or-less the same thing; just because you can use it to lord it over and force others what to do, doesn’t mean you should. Those in a fortunate position, like you and me, should always seek the betterment of others above our own selfish whims, and… Diamond? Diamond!! Were you asleep, or just resting your eyes? Because I don’t want you to miss the most important part… which is…”

………………

By the time Twilight had reached the climatic part of her patented ‘With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility’ speech (a self-created phrase she’d proudly thought of which had never been used anywhere before) Diamond was already half-comatose with exhaustion, and was in no fit state to ascend the two flights of stairs to her temporary quarters.

Hmm. Maybe I overdid it a bit. Perhaps I should realise, not every-creature is as attentive or as durable as my former students at the School Of Friendship were… Twilight indulged herself in a shameless bit of nostalgia, whilst carefully lifting a snoozing pink filly off the table onto her back. Still, I have a whole nation full of subjects counting on me now, not just pupils who naturally look to a headmare for guidance. And none so important as this resting filly currently perched on my flank, who I suppose I should get off to bed as soon as possible. My bed, that is…

Reasoning that it was only for one night so there was no point in being too indignant about it, Twilight softly took to the air as if on gossamer wings to fly up the couple of floors until she reached the familiar darkened outline of her bedroom. Upon entering, she continued her oh-so-quiet routine by tip-hoofing in and delicately depositing the sleeping pink filly in the centre of the vast covers of her four poster deluxe, making sure she was as comfortable as possible in the process.

It’s a good job I’ve had plenty of practice tucking in Flurry Heart during her many sleepovers here, hopefully my other Auntie skills are just as transferable! Twilight allowed herself momentary satisfaction at a task well done, before noticing Diamond’s still-worn silvery headgear reflecting back her concerned face. Hmm, better do something about that. If it falls off during the night and she ends up hurting herself, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Nor, will I suspect, her parents.

With just as much finesse as she’d put Diamond to bed, the alicorn gently prised up the filly’s pronged crown without disturbing her nap even a bit.

There, that’s better. I don’t wear my tiara in bed either, so I don’t see why she’d be any different. In fact, I’ll do her a favour before she wakes up tomorrow, and have it properly polished! Won’t she be surprised… it might even start to make her more amenable towards me…

Noticing also that this was the first time she’d seen Diamond without her trademark valuable headwear, Twilight gazed down contemplatively on the still form of her new charge as she breathed softly in the midst of her slumbers.

Funny, without that over-the-top jewellery she looks just like any regular filly. Which is exactly how I’ll seek to treat her as long as she’s staying here. Oh, I’ve got so much to teach you Diamond, if only you’ll let me in. I don’t underestimate how difficult it’s going to be getting used to your new environment, or even how long we’ll have until your parents get your act together, but let’s do our best, and hopefully we’ll both learn something in the process…

A telltale grunting noise from an adjacent chamber which sounded like a drowning mule broke Twilight out of her solemn thoughts. …But I can’t imagine how to deal with Spike’s snoring will be one of them. Some things are just impossible to teach. Why did I put him in the room right across from mine, again? Still, at least I get a break from the din this evening… now, where did I put that sleeping bag…

Author's Note

Gosh, has it really been two weeks already? It only feels like a fortnight ago at best... anyway, here's the next update. :pinkiehappy:

I am going to give that 1k one-shot challenge another try, then I'll be straight back on this. Lots of good stuff coming up... more for some, than others... :pinkiesad2:

Chapter Nine Part 2: Filly Steps

Wow, this is nice; since when did my bed have so much… space? And be this fluffy…soft…

Diamond Tiara’s first reaction to waking up the next morning at her new address was one of utter contentment, for it felt as if she was snuggling against the clouds themselves (although, she’d never harboured dreams of being a pegasus. All that flying around everywhere seemed like far too much hard work… life as a regal unicorn with the power to do everything by will alone. Now you were talking).

Did Daddy buy me a new bed? No, that can’t be the case… he’s trying to save money due to the cutbacks at Barnyard Bargains. Then what on Equestria could have happened? It’s almost like I’ve woken up somewhere els… “Oh, right.”

As consciousness finally began returning to Diamond’s blissfully cocooned mind, so the stark truth of her situation hit her like a ton of bricks. She internally cursed herself for briefly forgetting her former home so easily when presented with the merest trifle of more luxury than even she was used to, before beginning her usual set routine of stretching and yawning as far as her hooves and mouth would allow.

Funny, I don’t remember trotting upstairs last night. Princess Twilight must’ve taken the liberty of carrying me up here whilst I was napping, either by magic or physically I don’t know. She’s got a bit of cheek to treat me like her filly after only the first day I moved in, but for some reason… I’m not mad. Mummy never did anything like that for me before, least of all tuck me in. It actually makes me feel kinda… happy. Not that I’d ever say that to her face, mind you. She might start getting ideas I want to stay here forever.

Smiling at such a ridiculous notion that surely would never come to pass, Diamond was just about to hop out of bed to see about washing her face, when something stopped her from jumping off the high mattress onto the much-further-away-than-it-seemed floor (clearly, this bed had been custom made with Twilight’s elongated height in mind).

I feel… different. As if, something is missing. Still slightly dazed by the rigours of the day before and her brain cobwebbed having just woken up, Diamond couldn’t quite figure out what’d changed to make her feel so uneasy all of a sudden, and went to scratch her head in complete bafflement…

…And immediately wished she hadn’t.

“Princess Twilight! Spike! Servants! Guards! A-Anypony!!” These six words could be heard booming around the castle like a siren, as an incredibly agitated filly had no sooner discovered her irreplaceable missing tiara than dashed out the bedroom as if threatened with a tooth extraction by a particularly sadistic dentist.

Spike, still feeling pretty jaded himself from the events of the day before, was given yet another reminder of how different life was going to be from now on. A stampeding pink filly almost bowled him over for the second time in twenty-four hours as he poked his head out of his room to see what all the fuss was about (This time around, he had the presence of thought to take to the sky just before direct impact was made. Handy things to have sometimes, wings).

The other staff stationed variously around the castle weren’t quite so lucky. On pure adrenaline alone, Diamond must’ve knocked over at least a quarter of the ponies who’d risen early to take their morning shifts. Scattered sounds of ‘ouch’, ‘ow’ and ‘ah! my leg!!’ were commonplace as the panicking youngster dashed by, seemingly unconcerned or unaware of the chaos left in her wake.

This one-filly trail of devastation couldn’t last forever of course, and it was as Diamond began to tire that she finally felt a trademark purple glow around her which gently lifted her up to be snout-to-snout with the current royal landlord of the building…

…And predictably, the alicorn in question was not best pleased. As if the bloodshot eyes, disapproving stare and the mile-long frown weren’t enough of a hint.

“I’ve just had the most uncomfortable night I can remember in years, to give you a bit of safety and security on your first evening here in my bed… and this is how you repay me?!” Twilight Sparkle threw her half-torn sleeping bag on the floor, as if to emphasise her point. “Not only was this thing impossible to get into, it was even harder to get out of! That’s why it took me so long to stop your reckless rampage around the corridors of my home. Do you have any idea how many of my loyal retainers you’ve incapacitated this morning alone? Why Diamond, why? I thought yesterday at the Castle Of Friendship we were making some real progress, but it’s been downhill ever since…”

“Shut up! I don’t care about any of that!! Where’s my tiara?!” Even for her, Diamond’s sudden outburst was deafening, as well as fuelled by a very real sense of anxious urgency. “It was on my head last night when I was listening to you give me that stupid lecture at the table, and now it’s gone. I want to know who took it! I’ll knock down everypony in here if that’s what it takes to find it, including you. Now put me down, so I can find the miserable thief who did this, and…”

Cries of disbelief rang out from around the feuding pair, as the assorted servants and guards who were even now picking themselves up reacted in abject shock at their princess being spoken to in such a disgraceful manner. Much tutting and shaking of heads soon followed, and if the new arrival wasn’t unpopular enough already, she’d certainly cemented her position as the most disliked filly since Cozy Glow had flown onto the scene.

The only disapproving voice around that wasn’t castigating Diamond was, oddly enough, the main victim of her verbal lashing. Twilight had been listening very carefully to every word that’d come from her charge’s mouth, and with each passing moment her anger had subsided bit by bit. When it came to responding to the pink filly’s steady stream of accusations, Twilight’s voice was much more measured than before, although she still held Diamond up to head level as if to communicate herself more efficiently.

“L-Listen, Diamond. I fear I’m the one at fault here. I’m the one who took away your tiara last night without permission, and that was very wrong of me. I did it because I thought you might turn over in your sleep, and hurt yourself on one of the sharp edges. Please forgive me, I was only trying to help.”

“I-Is that so?” Upon learning the truth behind the mysterious disappearance of her most prized possession, Diamond’s irascible mood relaxed slightly, although she remained in a strop. “Well, it’s never happened before, but thanks for thinking of my safety I suppose. Why didn’t you leave it by my bedside, though? If you just wanted for me to not hurt myself, you didn’t need to take it away.”

“Aha! That was part of the surprise!” Despite everything that’d happened so far that day (it wasn’t even six thirty am yet) Twilight was apparently still determined to win Diamond’s approval at something, and simultaneously lowered Diamond to the ground whilst levitating a familiar barbed piece of head jewellery into her open hooves. “There you go! I thought I’d give it a thorough polish using the stuff that gets my crown looking all nice and shiny for big occasions. It does an even better job on your tiara, if you don’t mind me saying so. Go on, have a peek and see if you agree!”

“Huh. I very much doubt it's as good as the exclusive varnish I use at home, and... golly.” A noticeably mollified Diamond turned the very sparkly and extremely glittery tiara around in her hooves, marvelling how stylish it looked from every conceivable angle. “I-I’ve never seen it look as good as this before! I-It’s like brand new! How did you get it so…”

“The secret is a polish Applejack recommended. She bought it from a travelling merchant she met on her way back from Appleloosa once, who told her it’ll make her farming equipment ‘gleam like nothing had ever gleamed before, not even the midday sun’. After some bad experiences with other smooth-talking salesponies like Flim and Flam, she was sceptical at first… until she tested it herself and found it was the real deal. It helps to have friends from all backgrounds sometimes, don’t you agree?”

“I-I guess so.” Diamond was still almost hypnotised by her pristine headwear, far too busy examining it in great detail to put it back on her head where it was usually ever-present. “If it’s not too much to ask, could I possibly buy some of that stuff off you please? I didn’t bring much money with me here, but once you take me back to Rich Mansion I could…”

“Have ten tins of it, no charge. Think of it as an apology gift from me to you for taking your tiara without asking first earlier, and as a promise I’ll never do anything like that again.” Twilight dared to lean over to ruffle the pink filly’s mane affectionately, and for once Diamond didn’t hastily back away. “And if you need more, Applejack’s the one to ask. You’ll see her later, along with the rest of my closest friends. We’re having dinner together, and I thought this would be the perfect time to introduce you…”

“Wait, ‘introduce’ me?” Diamond looked up with surprise, having at last completed looking over her newly-augmented tiara. “You do realise I know all your friends already, don’t you? Pinkie Pie organised my cute-cenera, I go in Rarity’s shop all the time with Mummy, Rainbow Dash… er… okay. With one, maybe two exceptions.”

“I don’t mean as if you’d be meeting them for the first time, silly. I meant ‘introduce’ you as my temporary ward here at Canterlot Castle! We’ll have lots of delicious food to look forward to as well, so I hope you bring your appetite.” Twilight was most amused then to hear an embarrassed Diamond’s belly rumble as if in response to the merest mention of anything edible. “Speaking of ‘food’, let’s see what kind of a spread the chefs have put on for breakfast. The ones that have survived your little run around the castle, that is. In fact, in return for helping your tiara look its best this morning, do you think you could do me a small favour, Diamond?”

“What’s that, Princess Twilight?”

“Please apologise to everypony here you’ve upset since arriving in Canterlot. After all, if you’re going to be living here for a while, and they’re going to be looking after you, it’ll help if you start things out the right hoof, don’t you think?”

“O-Okay Princess Twilight, I see what you mean. I’ll try.”

“Good girl. There may be hope for you yet…”

“What was that last thing you said?”

“N-Nothing, Diamond. Let’s just make our way to the dining area again, shall we?”

At this juncture, Spike had finally plucked up the courage to leave his room after deciding he needed a break from the ongoing mayhem downstairs.

He was all ready to be confronted with yet more stubborn immaturity from Diamond, more relentless anguish from Twilight, and one step closer to the pink filly being returned to whence she came in Ponyville.

And not a moment too soon, he’d speculated earlier, whilst hiding out behind his door and hearing the ponies around the castle being knocked down like skittles, then maybe something approaching sanity can start returning to this place.

What he got instead was a seemingly amicable pairing of Twilight and Diamond walking hoof-in-hoof surrounded by cryptically whispering servants as they made their way slowly towards the dining room together, without any semblance of animosity between them.

After staring in amazement for a good few seconds and thinking something along the lines of how does she do it, Spike wasted no more time in darting after them.

After all, those tasty Gem Flakes were hardly going to eat themselves.

Author's Note

Next chapter, we take a break from DT and TS to see what to head back to good ol' Ponyville to see how the other inhabitants are coping with her absence...

It'a a pretty mixed bag, let me tell you. :applejackunsure:

Chapter Ten part 1: Silver Spoon's Lament

It had not been an easy night for the young pony who could now be comfortably described as the richest filly in all of Ponyville, Silver Spoon.

Not that such a tawdry accolade meant anything to her. Especially not because it was gifted to her when the previous proud title holder had simply got up and… vanished.

She never was quite as taken with the well-off lifestyle as her closest friend… true, she enjoyed the safety net of being in a financially stable family compared to her more low-income classmates, and she positively loved being able to buy nice clothes and jewellery on a whim instead of having to beg her parents for them like nearly every other youngster in town.

But she never intentionally rubbed her fortuitous circumstances in the faces of others… well, actually that was a lie. Let’s just say, she didn’t particularly like partaking in the relentless teasing of others regarding her excessive wealth and other equally materialistic subjects.

She always did feel like a bit of a fish-out-of-water at school from her first day, and before Diamond came along nopony knew quite how to react to the upper-class filly with the posh accent, thick-rimmed glasses and carefully coiffed hair.

With her new friend, at least she had somepony to hang around with during recess, walk home from school and even spend time at each other’s mansions. As they grew up together, the affluent pair became almost inseparable, even as Diamond’s relatively minor boasting evolved into outright bullying, and the more mild-mannered Silver suddenly found herself being thrust into the role of more-than-willing participant in the abuse.

It’s not like I really enjoyed mocking other colts and fillies for being ‘Blank Flanks’, or laughing at them for not being able to fly, she’d thought back then, as if that excuse somehow justified her errant behaviour and unquestionable support of her pink bestie's mistreatment of others, it’s just I know for a fact I’d find it impossible to find somepony to replace her if I refused to go along with it. How many other young ponies at school are anywhere near my social standing? One, that’s it. And I’m staring at her right now.

So she let her conscience take a back seat, and remained silent about how distasteful she found the whole affair. It wasn’t until the day of the class election, when Diamond actually turned on her for daring to reveal the unveiling of a statue in Diamond’s image if the pink filly had won (in hindsight, probably not a great voting incentive) that she’d finally snapped. Told her a few home truths about what she thought of their one-sided ‘friendship’. Gave it to her both barrels, without hesitation. Trotted off without a care in the world, glad to be free of that pompous pest who’d dragged her down for far too long.

As history will show though, their brief estrangement only lasted for a grand total of two days at the most. They were soon back together as if nothing had changed; well, as a matter of fact it had. After helping to build a new school playground with Diamond as the lead architect, and the rest of the class as eager constructors (they’d seemed to forgive her and the pink filly pretty easily, she doubted she’d be quite so merciful) their days of terrorising the schoolyard were over.

The duo were officially reformed, ready to help other ponies with the privileges they’d been lucky enough to be born with instead of hinder them with caustic remarks and casual put-downs. The future was positive, the future was pink and grey, everything was going to be just fine…

Except, as Silver had now found out in her young optimistic naivety, it wasn’t. Life has a way of throwing you unpleasant curveballs from time to time, with the only predictable element being how unpredictable everything is. First the messy situation with Diamond’s parents’ feuding, and now this…

It’d been hard enough keeping Diamond’s big secret from the grown-ups both at school and home, but now it didn’t appear as though she was located anywhere in town at all. Silver had made some subtle enquiries around town as to where she might be, but nopony had seen her since that fateful morning after they’d said goodbye just outside Rich Mansion or maybe they do know, and they’re keeping it from me. Can I trust anypony anymore? Hmm…

Silver Spoon was now in full conspiracy-mood in her head, as the door to her bedroom slowly opened to reveal a concerned-looking motherly figure loitering just beyond the threshold, seemingly unsure whether her presence would be welcome at this testing time.

Seeing her daughter in such a distressed state made her heart sink though, and despite all the negative consequences that could come from her intervention, the worried mare couldn’t help but speak up.

“Darling, you’ve been in here all night…” Silver Sterling wanted to add more to her opening statement, but her daughter unexpectedly turned around at this point to glare at her mother through steamed-up glasses.

“Of course I have, stupid! I was sleeping. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do at night?!” Silver Spoon’s answer was swift, sharp and to the point. No sooner had she closed her mouth though, she turned away once more, seemingly happy to let the conversation rest.

Silver Sterling was having none of it, though. “You know what I mean, young filly!! I meant ever since you got back from school late yesterday evening in tears, me and your father haven’t seen head nor hair of you at all. You didn’t come down for dinner, breakfast and now you’re still up here, a few minutes before school starts, not even half-ready. I know things must be difficult for you at the moment, but staying in here all the time won’t help, and it’s certainly no excuse for such rudeness…!”

“Huh! As if I’d want to spend time with a bunch of liars, traitors and… secret-keepers!” Silver didn’t bother looking back at her mother this time, she simply wiped her eyes and stared into the distance. “You won’t even tell me what happened to my best friend; my only friend for years and years, and you expect me to carry on as normal? I don’t think so! I’m not going anywhere, I’m not eating anything, until you tell me where she is. Even Miss Cheerilee was no help! I-If all the grown-ups know, and I don’t, how is that fair? Let me tell you… It’s not!!”

Those last two words were uttered with such undistilled venom that even the determinedly supportive Silver Sterling took a step backwards in shock, but she plucked up the courage to answer her daughter even in the face of such youthful defiance.

“I’ve told you why, Silver Spoon: it’s an official order from the Princess. Only those entrusted with the information are allowed to know, and they can’t share it with anypony else. That includes you, I’m afraid. I know that might sound unfair, but rules are rules. Privacy laws exist for a reason, to protect the vulnerable and keep them from being persecuted. I’m sure you’ll understand more about it when you’re older. You see, the Princess…”

“ ‘The Princess’ sucks!” Silver Spoon stuck her tongue out in a comical fashion after saying this, but she meant every word. “How did she even get to be ruler, anyway? Last time Diamond and I saw her, she was nothing but a nerdy librarian in charge of a treehouse full of ruffians. Then, she suddenly got promoted to alicorn… and now, she’s in charge of everycreature? How dumb is that? She’s not my Princess… e-especially now she’s taken a-away the o-one pony w-who…”

At this juncture Silver had to halt mid-flow because she didn’t want to burst into tears right in front of her mother, as that would directly contradict the ‘tough filly’ image she was trying so hard to cultivate.

Silver Sterling however had heard more than enough, and stormed inside to remonstrate with her daughter which included the dreaded use of her middle name. “Silver Bronze Spoon! I can appreciate why you might be upset, even a bit angry at what’s happened the last couple of days… but I’ll not have Princess Twilight’s good name insulted like this in my very own mansion! If you only knew what she’s done for this country… how she saved it from utter destruction… the selfless sacrifice she made when she agreed to take the throne…”

“Well, that’s your opinion. Mother! I just see a geeky, overrated… best friend-remover!” The more her mother heaped praises on the magical mare Silver saw as responsible for all her current woes, the more petulant the grey filly became in return, and the whole heated debate soon degraded into a case of who could shout out the loudest.

“Apologise for saying those horrible things about Princess Twilight right now!”

“I won’t! I hate her! And if I ever see her again, I’ll tell her that to her face!”

“Y-You do that young filly, and you won’t get any pocket money for a month, no… two solid months!”

“Who cares? Shopping at the mall’s no fun without Diamond, anyway. Also, not everypony loves the royal family as much as you, Mother!”

“W-Whatever could you mean?”

“I’ve seen that vast collection of memorabilia you keep locked away in the cellar. Vintage posters of Celestia, licensed Luna bed-sheets, limited edition Cadance crystal earrings… you even have Flurry Heart’s dirty old pacifier inside a glass case. No wonder you’d take their side ahead of your own daughter!”

“B-Be quiet, and don’t go snooping around in there ever again. We’ll discuss your reckless trespassing amongst other transgressions later, young filly. For now, you need to get up and brush your teeth then collect your school things, because you’re going to class…”

“I’m not!! And you can’t make me!”

I’m your mother! I can do what I like!”

“I’d like to see you try!”

“Well, I’ve never heard such language in my… you’re in big trouble now!!”

“You mean, an even worse punishment than having my best friend taken away forever? Go on, surprise me.”

“W-Why you…”

“What’s going on up here?!”

Before Silver Sterling could complete her no doubt complimentary remark about her daughter, Golden Spoon came bustling into the scene looking quite ashen-faced. His hooves were covered in flour, he had a chef’s hat on his head and a most exasperated expression upon his yellowish features.

“I was just about to take a whole load of delicious macaroons out of the oven, when suddenly I hear what sounds like an explosion coming from upstairs… and I dropped the lot! Four hours of slaving and toiling in the boiling hot kitchen, for nothing. So I rush up here to see what all the fuss is about, and I discover you two ladies yapping and snapping away at each other like a pair of crazed Diamond Dogs! What on Equestria could be going on between you two? And, more importantly, when can I get some peace in here so I can fulfil all my orders tomorrow?”

“Ask her! She’s to blame!” Both mare and filly alike pointed their hooves in an accusatory manner at each other, leaving Golden Spoon in the most uncomfortable position of having to pick sides between his wife and child.

“E-Er, let’s start again. Sterling, you go first I guess…”

“Our own flesh-and-blood practically slandered our beloved Princess in this very room, refused point-blank to go to school, eat or drink anything and is being very bad-tempered and foul-mouthed too!” Silver Sterling summed up her position succinctly, still taken aback by what she’d just heard from her usually highly-compliant offspring.

“I see.” Golden Spoon scratched the back of his head in earnest, before turning to the grey filly. “Okay Silver Spoon, you’re up. Let’s hear what you have to say. More calmly than before, if you don’t mind. I get migraines, remember?”

“Nopony will tell me what happened to Diamond, or when I’ll even see her again! I don’t know if she’s hurt, sick, scared… I can’t even write to her, apparently. I’m just supposed to accept this? Well, I don’t… and anypony who thinks this is right is stupid and horrible and selfish and… wrong.”

Golden Spoon listened to every word his daughter said carefully, before pausing to take mental notes. He then turned back to his wife. “She’s got a point, you know. Why exactly, can’t we tell her again?”

“W-W-What?” Silver Sterling’s jaw practically hit the floor upon hearing this straightforward question. “Typical. You always take her side. Don’t you remember what Twilight told us, before she left? She said…”

“Hmm, I may have got the gist of it. I’m pretty sure I had the blender on full frappe at the time…” Golden Spoon then gave a little wink to his watching daughter, which elicited the first giggle from her since Diamond’s unexpected departure. “Just so you know, I’m not as deferential to the Princess as you are. I humour your obsessive hobby of following the royals as much as I can, but when it comes to the well-being and mental-health of our filly, there’s just no contest.”

Silver Spoon’s spirits rose considerably upon hearing her father’s position, and she jumped off her bed to hug him around the neck with great affection and appreciation. “Thank you, father. I should’ve known you’d understand. Unlike certain other parents…”

Silver’s terse remark there stung Sterling to her core, but outnumbered two-to-one as she was there was really nothing she could do in response…

…But retreat, at least for now.

“I-I don’t have time for this… I’m going to be late for my job at the bank. But this isn’t over, Missy. I haven’t forgotten the things you said to me. We’ll discuss this in greater detail later… and you better not tell her while I’m away before we have a full family meeting, Golden! I mean it! Goodbye!”

Sterling exited without so much as a second look, grabbing her saddlebag en route and making sure to give the front door a firm slam for good measure.

After he was sure she’d gone, Golden Spoon regarded his clingy daughter with a wry undertone. “Why did you have to bring Princess Twilight into the argument? You know how she gets when her favourite is spoken badly of in any way. Even her own family aren’t safe from her cultish wrath.”

“So what? I hate the Princess, and I’m not afraid to say it.” Silver Spoon loosened her grip, and fell back on the floor with an accompanying flop. “She told me and Diamond when she came into the classroom the other day she’d help both of us. Instead, she stole Diamond away and left me feeling utterly depressed. Don’t you agree? Haven’t you said before how you’d like Equestria to be an independent republic someday?”

“T-that’s neither here nor there…” Golden Spoon stammered, as he had indeed made insinuations along those lines before. “The fact of the matter is, things are often not as clear-cut as you’d like them to be. While I might not believe in the supreme right of a hierarchy of elite ponies to rule over us, I do think that Princess Twilight is a kind and noble individual who only has Diamond Tiara’s best interests at heart. You’ll understand more…”

“I know: ‘when I’m older’.” Silver Spoon rolled her eyes at hearing that patronising expression for the second time that day. “You know, suddenly I’m feeling a bit hungrier. Any food I can have downstairs, on my way to school?”

Golden Spoon blinked in surprise at hearing his filly’s sudden turnaround. “E-Er, well I just made some macaroons…”

“You mean, the ones that fell on the dirty kitchen floor? No thanks!”

“Oh, so you were paying attention. Just my idea of a joke. Glad you’re feeling a bit better now, anyway. In case you didn't already know, there’s only room for one ‘princess’ in my life.. guess who that is?”

“I love you too, Dad. And just a fruit bar will be fine.”

“Okay, got it. I’ll just grab you a plum-flavoured one from the basket then…”

“Ugh, no thanks. Apple today, please.”

“But I thought plum was your favourite?”

“I know, right? I don’t know what it is, but I’ve suddenly gone right off anything purple…”

Author's Note

My longest chapter for quite a while (phew). So what do you think? :twilightsheepish:

Next up: A little trip to Rich Mansion to see how they're getting along, then it's back to good ol' Canterlot to find out how DT is coping in her first full day in her new life. :coolphoto:

Expect the unexpected. And feel free to comment down below. I usually respond quickly, weather permitting. :rainbowhuh:

Chapter Ten Part 2: Filthy Lays It On The Line

Just across town as the crow flies from the Silver’s mansion, you optimistically might’ve hoped things were slightly calmer in the rather more gargantuan setting of Rich Manor.

After all, our warring duo of wealthy aristocrats would surely have made even a token gesture to patch things up after the enforced removal of their only child, right?

True… it’d only been one short day since the vast corridors of their large residence had been made that much lonelier by the sad absence of the tiara-wearing filly.

But certainly that should’ve been enough time to talk some of their many issues through. Clean up parts of the mess off the floor left by their numerous fights. Maybe even begin to turn their thoughts into allowing a few of their missing staff to return to duty…?

No such luck.

“What do you mean you’re taking an extended leave from work, Filthy?! How are you supposed to provide for me… us, if you’re here lounging around in your underwear feeling sorry for yourself instead of putting your muzzle to the grindstone at Barnyard Bargains like you should be? Do you really think Princess Twilight will allow our daughter to return if we’re reduced to living in the poorhouse, because of your pathetic sad-sack act? You don’t see me refusing to go to Ponyville Elementary in my very important role as head of the school board this morning, do you? You need to pull yourself together, and…”

“That’s quite enough out of you, ‘dearest’. You’ve had your say, and now I’m kindly going to give you the opportunity to draw breath while I lay a few simple facts in front of you for your consideration. My job has been such a distraction to me for the last few months, it’s made me lose sight of what’s really valuable in life… and no, I’m not talking about the tacky overpriced trinkets you seem to love squandering my bits on so much. I mean my precious relationship with Diamond Tiara, and the fact she’s gone because of my own carelessness and selfishness will forever be a stain upon my life.”

“Pffff! Overwrought nonsense, if ever I heard it. The real reason our filly got removed into royal custody is you suddenly woke up one day and got all argumentative and full of yourself. Whatever happened to the meek and mild stallion I married, the one who followed my heeding without any objections, the one who was so agreeable, compliant…”

“He grew a backbone, Spoiled. How many times do I have to tell you, things are never going to be like they were ever again. Ever since I went on that company day-trip to Manehattan for the self-help seminar, I realised the error of spending so many years being a pushover around you. Now I feel confident, determined, happier than I’ve ever been…”

“I curse the ground that meddling minotaur Iron Will stomps on. Ever since that awful day, you’ve been so unreasonable; telling me to earn my own money, refusing to wear what I specifically pick out for you every morning, even deigning to remark that my pristine nose-job was a disaster! How could you?!”

“Very easily Spoiled, when it’s the truth. If you can’t see that you looked and felt much happier when we first met before your radical personality change and multiple surgeries, then I really can’t help you. What happened to that easy-going, happy-go-lucky mare I fell in love with, anyway? When you lived on that dairy farm way back when, you didn’t care about material possessions at all, did you? If only your old self could see how you turned out, she’d…”

“W-We are not discussing this now, Filthy Rich! La-la-la-la-la-la!!” Spoiled Rich was never the greatest singer (and she knew it) but that didn’t stop her from abruptly jumping away from the dining room table to plug her ears with her hooves in a most unladylike fashion. “You promised me on our wedding night that we’d never mention my past again!”

“That was before I noticed how many false airs and graces you put on just because you felt you had to ‘fit in’ to upper-class society, and how ruinous it was to your appearance and personality. Even after I told you repeatedly you didn’t need to, because that’s not why I fell for you in the first place!” Filthy Rich shook his head as the painful memories came flooding back. “That, maybe I could’ve lived with… after all, your choices are your own mistakes to make. It’s when you allowed that vain and conceited attitude to seep through to our daughter, that’s what I can’t excuse. Or indeed, my inattention in allowing the situation to continue for so long.”

“Well, this is the thanks I get… I was teaching her about the facts of life of living in such a cutthroat world, where everypony is out for themselves and to get ahead, you have to be a strong, unyielding force. You do see what kind of cutie mark resides on her flank, don’t you? One of these days, that filly is going to grow up to be an influential leader; but if she’s even a fraction of the weak little lickspittle I used to be, who’s going to listen to her? I just want her to fulfil her potential, and…”

“Oh my gosh. You just don’t get it, do you Spoiled?” At this juncture Filthy also slowly rose from his chair, to give his one and only wife a look which could be described as a mixture of pity and contempt. “What you describe there isn’t a ‘strong leader’, but an out-and-out tyrant. If I ever ran Barnyard Bargains in that kind of uncompromising manner, nopony would want to work for me, and we’d be closed down within a week. If you want to see a great role model for Diamond to take after one day, look no further than Princess Twilight…”

“What? You mean, the very alicorn responsible for taking away our daughter in the first place? How can you speak so positively of somepony who overreacted so much to a simple domestic situation?”

“Actually, I’m not sure she did.” Filthy scratched the bottom of his chin thoughtfully, as his spouse’s own jaw dropped in amazement. “You see, look at it from an outsider’s perspective. If I heard of a young filly being caught in the crossfire of a big feud between two warring parents for weeks on end and getting hurt in the process, I’d feel duty-bound to report it to the authorities also. Can’t you see Spoiled, considering the amount of real danger she was in just by being around us, that the Princess’s decision wasn’t that disproportionate?”

“A-Absolute codswallop. That minor abrasion she had was caused by a tiny fragment of broken glass, and we don’t even know it was our fault in the first place.” Spoiled was uncharacteristically hesitant in her stammered denial then, almost as if she couldn’t even convince herself of the truth. “A-And even if it was, accidents happen. Why, back when I was forced to do slave labour on the farm, I used to trip over that stupid milking bucket at least twice a day…”

“Now who’s ‘bringing up the past’ again, Spoiled? And as I recall, you used to actually enjoy working the udders down in the stables. ‘Ermintrude’ was her name, wasn’t it? I wonder how she felt, when you just abandoned her like that after we moved to Ponyville full-time? I can almost see her sad face gazing longingly at you, as we stepped aboard that train…”

“S-Shut up, Filthy.” If Spoiled was sheepish before, now she was positively seething now as Filthy (perhaps to make up for years of persistent nagging) shamelessly goaded her. “I thought we arranged to sit for our first meal together in days to devise a way to move forward with our marriage, not to engage in yet more pointless bickering. Now, do you have anything of actual substance to add to the conversation before I head off to work, or am I just wasting my time?”

“...Wow. Forgive my shock, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard you take me seriously for as long as I can remember. And all it took was having our daughter taken away.” Filthy’s darkly sarcastic side was showing, but for now he opted to put his multiple differences with Spoiled aside to work on a mutual solution. “First things first, we need to put a stop to all this destructive quarrelling. It’s destroying the decor, causing a lot of psychological trauma to poor Diamond, and…”

“...And who knows what the neighbours must think. I swear, I’ll never be able to show my face at an elite soiree ever again, Celestia knows the type of madhouse they must think we live in nowadays…” Spoiled Rich sniffed in her usual pompous way, before a withering look from Filthy brought her back to earth. “S-Sorry dear, do go on.”

“E-Erm okay.” Now it was Filthy’s turn to feel out-of-sorts, as genuine apologies from his stubborn wife were rarer than hen’s teeth. “So anyway, what I propose we do from this point on is talk things through like adults, not engage in futile contests in who can throw fragile objects the furthest at each other. If I can commit to this, do you think you could do the same?”

“Well, it was mostly you engaging in that sort of foalish tomfoolery, after all why would I want to break my own possessions? But if you’re willing to admit to your mistakes, then I’m prepared to be the bigger pony and try also. Should we sign something together, to make it official?”

Baby steps, Filthy Rich, baby steps. “Thank you Spoiled, for your unprecedented display of magnaminty there. Our memories may vary on who may be to blame for starting those fights, but at least we seem to be getting somewhere at long last. And no, this is not a formal business meeting, so no contracts are required. Now, as regards the servant situation…”

“Ah yes, I’ve been waiting for you to raise this essential topic, Filthy. It’s an absolute disgrace that a mare of my fine standing in the community should be expected to mix their own fresh-fruit salad every morning with the chefs on furlough. Plus, since you sent the staff that usually do the shopping away, we haven’t even got any apricots or cantaloupes! How you expect me to keep going on like this, I don’t… why are you shaking your head at me again?”

“Because Spoiled, even if I do rehire the servants back, things are going to change around here. It’s not right you expect them to be at your beck and call for every little whim that pops into your head; especially Randolph. He’s only got about a year and a half until he draws his pension, if that. You can’t expect him to scrub the floor, do the laundry, fix the toilet AND perform daring acts of juggling simultaneously forever! Do you know on how many occasions he’s come close to having a stroke or a heart attack, just to please you? He has great grand-colts and fillies, for goodness sake!”

“I-I… obviously don’t want that to happen. But if we’re paying them such good wages, surely it stands to reason that we require exceptional service.”

“I pay their wages, Spoiled, not you. Don’t ever forget that. I’m very proud of you for getting elected head of the school without resorting to bribery or intimidation for a change, but judging by how much you beg me for ‘spare change’ every day, it can’t be the highest-paid occupation in the world. I also wish I didn’t hear so many complaints from concerned parents every time I go into town…” Spoiled was beginning to put a drain on Filthy’s patience, but he ploughed on regardless.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“If you don’t know already, then there’s no point in me telling you. I just hope my words get through to you one of these days…” Filthy offered his frowning wife a weak smile, before plunging back to the matter at hoof. “Anyway, what have we covered so far? We’ve made a resolution to work things out peacefully from now on, I’ve just told you that the staff will no longer be your own personal chaperones for everything you do, and oh yes, this is the most important issue of all…”

“What could be higher up on the priority list than restoring our well-earned reputation to prominence, or filling our many rooms with working ponies once more?” A slightly confused Spoiled fired back, still unsure how she felt about this new assertive and in-charge Filthy. “Surely you must be mistaken…”

“Getting our daughter back, of course!! Creating a safe and nurturing environment for her to live in. Instilling a sense of loving security that her parents aren’t going to tear each other’s throats out every time they open their mouths. Giving her the freedom to make her own decisions, her own friends and not trying to plan her life out like she was an extension of us! Do I really have to spell it out for you, Spoiled? Everything we do, we should do for her! Nothing else matters! Don’t you see that? Because if you don’t, and things continue to escalate the way they are, there might be only one solution to this problem, as much as it pains me to say…”

A crestfallen Spoiled was about to say something in return, before the huge double-doors of the mansion burst open unexpectedly. A growing sound of hoofsteps could be heard approaching the dining room, until the visitor finally arrived.

It was a chestnut-brown stallion with longish legs and a black saddlebag around his neck. His visible pistol cutie mark might make a few other ponies worry… but this was not necessary, as the motif in question was nothing more than a starter’s gun for a race.

“Filthy, meet Relay Runner, the fastest earth pony this side of Equestria. Whilst you’ve been wasting your time by quitting your job and sitting on your hooves, I’ve actually been using my free time to do something useful. I’ve had Relay here talk to every contact I know who has some connection with the royal family, to ascertain what’s happened to our Diamond. Quite a good idea, don’t you think? You see… I’m not entirely useless after all, am I darling?”

If Spoiled was expecting her husband to be impressed, his glowering expression told otherwise. “...And what would the Princess do, if she found out about your efforts behind-the-scenes to interfere with the process? She’d probably cancel the next reunion we have with our child, that’s what. Couldn’t you have, I don’t know, tried exhibiting a bit of patience for a change? I’m sure Twilight would’ve told us in due course what plans she has for our daughter…”

“What? Allow Miss High ‘n’ Mighty to keep us hanging on for days, if not weeks on end whilst we’re tearing our manes out here wondering what’s going on? I don’t think so! And don’t worry about anypony finding out about my insignificant bit of subtle probing, dear. I made certain that Relay was very careful in his line of questioning, and to not take any unnecessary risks. Isn’t that right, Mr Runner?”

*Gulp* “Y-Yes, your Ladyship. You most definitely did.”

“Hmm…” Something about Relay Runner’s quiveringly servile demeanour reminded Filthy of his past-self, but he cast that thought aside for now. “I’m still not sure we should be doing this. You really should have checked this through with me first.”

“What are you saying, Filthy? You want me to send him on his way without finding out what he knows, when he’s galloped literally hundreds of miles overnight to be here this morning?”

“I-I never said that..”

“Well good, because I never had any intention of doing that. Not after what I paid him, anyway.” Spoiled turned her nose up at the mere thought of such a waste of resources, before turning back to Relay Runner once more. “Okay, now give me the whole report if you please, and don’t leave anything out. Where Diamond Tiara is now. How she’s coping with the temporary separation from her parents. And, more to the point, who’s looking after her.”

Sweat dripping off his brow onto the hard marble floor, Relay Runner staggered in ready to deliver the news. He was just about to start speaking when he noticed both agitated parents standing up at the table, ready to hang on his every word.

“You may want to sit down for this…”

Author's Note

Well, hello there strangers. Been quite a while, hasn't it? Soz, but a combination of a little something called 'life' and a sudden addiction to one-shots got in the way, but I am back now, with a nice juicy update for y'all. Hope you enjoyed it.

Anyway, glad that September is finally here, it should give me more free time to devote to my pet projects... like the one you're reading right now. See you again REAL soon(ish). :moustache: