Standing in front of this old cracked mirror, I can't help but give a snort. This old hat looks so comical on me. It doesn't fit me at all and flops over. Still, it reminds me of you.
This hat is faded, dusty, and tattered. It's composed of cloth, the once bright light blue stars stitched into the fabric, now dull and lifeless. The outlandish purple that had once been so flamboyantly sported by you, is a mere echo of what was.
Seeing your cloak draped around my back, I try to manage a smile. To others, it's just a worn-out magician's cloak, but it reminds me of you.
You, standing there, loudly boasting of your sleight of hoof tricks. You, performing magic no other pony could. You, enchanting my heart. I try clearing my throat and proclaiming as loud as I can, hoping you might hear it; that I might hear your laughter just once more.
“I am the Great and Powerful Starlight…”
But it's no use, my voice falters every time. My voice is cracked and hoarse from hours of screaming. It's barely a pitiful whisper. Hardly great and powerful. Hardly anything without you.
***
It’s been a week and the timbers of this old wagon still feel cold on my hooves. In the corner, that magic trunk with the broken clasp, we never got around to fixing, still sits. Right where you left it. On top it is that stupid deck of cards you always performed those lame ‘pick a card’ tricks with. By Twilight's Crown, I hated those. I’ve been practicing with them, you know. Let me shuffle them and I’ll show you.
“Hey, Trixie, pick a card…”
Oh, right, you can’t. I almost forgot...for a moment. Sitting here, on this old mattress, I feel closer to you. This blanket feels as warm as ever, though a bit empty without you by my side.
The sunlight above is streaming through the window, illuminating the interior. On the floor are those two empty glass cider bottles from the first time we...yeah I haven’t picked them up. They aren’t hurting anything, they can stay right there where you left them. That’s where they belong. Right where...you left them.
“If you want them cleaned up, you can do it yourself!”
Please, Trix, come back and do it...let me yell at you for making a mess, please...just once more. I wonder if you are watching me, I wonder if you are happy up there, I wonder...why you left me.
***
Laying here, staring up at the ceiling, I can’t help but smile. It’s been a year and you know that poster of Twilight is still on the ceiling? Yeah, the one with those darts in it. Don’t worry, I never told her. It's still our secret.
Speaking of Twilight, the two of us went to visit your...well, you know, yesterday. No, we aren’t an item, silly, you forgot didn’t you? It was our anniversary after all.
“Don’t worry I’m not mad you forgot…”
I miss celebrating it one day late because you forgot. You always forgot. Every year...Every single year, you forgot. And I would give anything to hear you apologize in your awkward way, just one last time. I placed a rose at the base of your...new dwelling. It’s not much, but I hope you like it.
“Happy 25th, Trix...”
***
Ugh, staring up at that old poster above my bed, I need a drink. The girls are insisting I hit the bar with them this weekend, that I shouldn’t be alone. Maybe I should. Twilight knows you would eagerly be dragging me down to Berry’s Punchbowl if anypony so much as mentioned a night on the town. You were always a wild mare.
Now that I think about it, Amateur Night is going on Sunday. Some new bands have been popping up, and many new genres of music. Might be worth checking out, I don’t know. Hey, maybe I should dust off my old guitar. Yeah, the electric metal. If I wail on it hard enough, would you clap? Maybe if I screamed and raged to the heavens, would my song reach you?
***
I did it! I went to Amateur night and it was amazing. The cider, the music, it was stunning. My set was really well received, I was able to rock out and let my mane down and it felt...amazing. A mare even approached me after my performance and...please don’t be mad, but she asked me out...and I said yes. She has that same wild look in her eyes, as you did. I couldn't resist.
***
We’re going out again. It’s been 2 years since you left my side, Trix. Everypony says I need to...move on. And the worst part is...I think they’re right. You aren’t coming back and I simply can’t cry any more tears. I’ve been screaming to the heavens since you left and I don’t have the energy to shout anymore.
So tomorrow, she and I are going to go...fly kites in the fields. She asked me about this old cloak and when I told her why I wear it, she just smiled and nodded. Reaching up she moved her mane with her hoof, revealing a tarnished hairpin. She told me it wasn’t a problem. She’s been there, she understands.
***
Standing here, staring at your grave, it’s hard to believe it’s been 5 years since you...died. This mare by my side is my fiancee. That’s right, she's the one I told you about. We’ve been dating for 3 years and we’ve grown rather close. Last night she proposed to me, I couldn’t believe it. I said yes.
Actually, it was her idea to come here and tell you face to...well tombstone. At first, I was nervous, but then I thought about it. You always wanted me to be happy. I think you would approve of this. No, I know you would. Your memory is always going to be with me. You will always be the first, the one who set my world on fire. And she knows that.
***
I think...I think it’s time I return this. Whenever I couldn’t stand it anymore, I wore this cloak of yours. Whenever I couldn’t get out of bed, I wore this cloak. Now I think I’m ready to stand on my own four hooves, I think I’m finally ready to take this off. I’ll leave it here, it’s time for the next part of my life.
The wedding is tomorrow and all our old friends will be there. I have the most beautiful gown picked out. I’m so happy...I’m finally happy again. This may be the last time I come to visit. But in my heart, Trix, your memory will always be. And come what may, in my dreams, I will always wear your cloak.
