Anon Dates Stallions

by Rule63Butterscotch

Rating: mature
Tags: Braeburn, Profanity, Big Macintosh, Anon, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Shining Armor, Sex, Thorax
Length: 14862

In order to find the way to finally get home Anon has to find his perfect soul mate, luckily the stallion dating pool seems to have no bad options.

Anon has seen it all and done it all, and that means that he has done every mare. Well, almost every mare. However, with all this experience behind him he only wants to go home. He finds out that the route back is for him and his soul mate to perform a ritual, but after finding out that none of the mares in Equestria are his perfect match by process of elimination, Anon has to set out on a final quest: to search among the stallions and find his perfect husband and his perfect way back home. (Mainly m/m, some of the stallions may get kinky, warning's in descriptions.) Cover Image by spainfisher.

Published 2021-08-06 21:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-03-06 22:50:35 UTC

The Setup

"So you tried the ritual thinking of each of them, right?"

"Um...I mean we can go through the list another time if you don't believe me."

Cadance shook her head. This wasn't good. Well, that's not true. It wasn't bad, but it was a challenge, at least as far as I saw it.

"You said you've been with every mare around here, right?" Cadance poked at the Crystal Heart, checking to make sure it was powered on. Even though it really wasn't able to be powered off as far as I knew.

"Yeah. Only a few mares I haven't dated or...bedded...but those are among royalty or happily married so I doubt it's them." I shrugged. There was an option here that it seemed like Cadance, pacing back and forth in tight circles in the chamber, wasn't picking up on as fast as I was.

"I guess we will have to outfit an expedition and send you outside of Equestria to find love here. It may take a long time, but you're a very nice man; I'm sure we won't have to search too far to find a mare-"

"Or stallion," I interjected pointedly.

"Or stallion, yes, a mare or stallion who loves you deeply enough to...wait. Anon, you like stallions too?" Cadance swiveled her head back on her slender neck, craning to look at me with a slightly open mouth.

"Yeah," I replied coolly, "it just seemed like I may as well finish my streak with mares before I moved on."

"Finish your streak?" Cadance turned her whole body.

"Well, when I first got here I managed to get with a few mares, I decided I'd let that play out for as long as it could go before I went off in another direction. For the most part." Another shrug.

"So you just went for six years of dating every single mare in the land that wasn't already in a relationship?"

"There were a handful of exceptions. My point is that I might as well go back and date some stallions to see if any of them are my true love before I go sailing off to a foreign land for more mares." I picked up a small crystal out of a bowl at the table, trying to gage if it was one of the edible crystals or one of the decorative ones.

I lifted the crystal to my lips and prepared to chomp down on it before Cadance grasped it in her aura and slipped it out of my hands just before I bit down, leaving my teeth to clack in the air. She spoke, "well then, that does make it much more simple. You just need to date around some more, maybe think back on some of the past experiences you did have with both mares and stallions, and see if you still have a chance at discovering your true love, allowing you to get back home after all this time."

I pursed my lips, looking at Cadance, at the Crystal Heart, and at the small crystal I had almost eaten that was still being levitated in the air. This sounded like it would be a fun setup.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy this simple dating story (with plenty of incoming clop).

Braeburn

"So you need to find your true love and perform a ritual with them to be able to finally go home?"

"That's the short of it, yeah."

"Well were you going to tell me before you go?" The hurt in Brae's voice was pretty evident. There was a sting right behind my eyes.

"Oh of course!" I leaned across the table in the Appaloosa tavern, laying my hand gently on his hoof. "I wasn't planning on leaving everypony high and dry. No." I moved my thumb a bit, lighting petting his hoof as he peered up at me, his deep green eyes pulling my focus away from his grin.

"You know everypony would be mighty sad to see you go, right?" There was a little bit of pain behind his grin. His voice wavered.

"And I would be sad to go, honestly." I paused, fumbling for the words to try and explain.

"I know why you wanna go back." Brae wormed his hoof out from under my hand, reversing the motion and bringing both of his hooves down on my hand. The tavern felt more quiet than it had been. Maybe patrons were milling out, spilling into the main road of the town underneath the night sky, and maybe the sound of the room was just being eaten, consumed by the raw magnetic pull that Brae's eyes seemed to have in the moment. I didn't think to look around and actually see what the other ponies were up to around us, for all I cared right then they could all be staring directly at us.

He drew his hooves back, bringing the world back into focus around him. His voice seemed so quiet, not barely piercing the din of our surroundings, "It's a shame, Anon, it really is. Makin' your heart have to choose like that." It wasn't just the noise, he was speaking more quietly. I felt tight in my chest, knowing that I made one of my oldest friends in Equestria sad like that.

"So who is the lucky mare you're gonna ask, then?" Just like that he snapped back to his cheery self, his higher voice seemed to dance above the room.

"Well that's just it, It doesn't seem likely that it's gonna be a mare," I flounced my hand a bit, the flamboyancy of the action seemed to bounce off of Brae.

"You sayin' your barn door's swingin' the other way now?" Brae mirrored my little hand motion with his hoof.

"I mean. It's been swung that way for quite a bit, I'd say. I'm sure Big Mac has told you about that." I gave a knowing glance to Brae, who seemed to have absolutely no idea what I was talking about. "Well that's a story for another time, I figure. Either way, I just never really focused on dating stallions while I was here."

"So how can you be sure it isn't a mare you'd end up in love with?" Brae slumped back in his chair, taking another swig from his cider.

"There's a little ritual that you can do with the crystal heart," I started, trying to remember how Cadance phrased it, "where you can check to see if you have latent feelings for someone you've dated before. It doesn't do much more than tell you if you're wasting your time trying to fall in love with somepony, but we tried it for aaaaaalll the mares I've gone out with in the past. Nothing. Obviously I still get along well with all of them, but according to the Crystal Heart there probably isn't anything deeper there." I looked back at Braeburn, seeing him take one last swig from his mug, clanking it down on the table with a contented sigh. He looked dead at me, a little froth mustache coating his top lip. With a smirk he darted his eyes down to my drink.

Are you done? His eyes spoke for him just as the room was overpowered with the sound of the player piano kicking off.

I nodded, yeah. I flicked my head to the side towards the door, we can get out of here, then I shifted, raising my eyebrows, if you want?

He jimmied his eyebrows a bit, and I wasn't quite sure what to make of that. Maybe, come with me, and maybe...something else.

I did want to ask Brae out. He was one of the most natural places to start. He was one of the first ponies I met when I ended up here. We were pretty close. It was almost like a childhood friend situation. I nodded and got up, fishing a few bits out of my pocket to pay for our drinks. As we walked to the exit, nodding to a few of the regulars that knew Braeburn, I could've sworn that I heard him say something to the effect of, "such a gentleman, buyin' me drinks." Shoot. It looked like Brae might've clocked the situation before I even had the chance to escalate.

The night air was cool in the desert. Braeburn, being a bit more weather resistant. hunched up his vest and grabbed his hat off of the side of it, taking it from his teeth into his hoof and placing it on his head, once again hiding his deep blonde mane. It's odd, my confidence with mares has been pretty tempered at this point, years of dating, years of successful nights that ended in the new beginning of a short but fun relationship, years of nights simply ending in pleasant goodbye's. I felt like it was six years ago. Like I was back to asking out Pinkie Pie, the first Mare I dated.

I was aware of everything. Aware of how much taller I was than him, barely coming up to my navel; aware of how cold the night was as I pulled my jacket a little tighter; aware of the size of my feet, stepping in his hoofprints as I followed him; aware of the size of his hips, of the redness of the apple on his flank, of the sway of his tail. We were standing in the center of the main road. He turned to face me.

"So to be clear, you were gonna ask me out, right?" There was a faux confidence in his voice, one that deflated my nerves just a bit.

"Well... You are... We have..." I didn't want to be too forward. Stars, what was with me? I'd seen colts that were better at making a move.

"Then I'll ask you out, if you're still not sure. It is proper for the colt to be the one to ask." There was a little trill in his voice. Playfulness. "Anon, would you like to go stargazing with me tonight, as a date?" He bounced his shoulders from side to side as he spoke, flamboyantly exaggerating the motion for those last three words.

I stood in silence, watching the warm light of the street lamp mold itself around his cheeks, giving him a soft halo.

"Ya have to meet me at least some of the way here, unless I'm just that charmin'." He giggled to himself.

"You are." I said with no hesitation. He drew his lips in tight and blushed, looking at me. "I accept."

And so there we were, me standing, looking down at the stallion who just asked me on a date.

***

Stallions were pretty. Or handsome, I suppose. They always were. It really was just an arbitrary decision to not pursue them more. Like I had hinted to Brae, I had even dated Big Mac back in the day, along with a tight handful of stallions. Most of them were married now, so hopefully it wasn't any of them that I had feelings for. Hmm. Something about bridges and the proper time to cross them, I guess.

However, even if the decision was arbitrary, it was still important. I hadn't pined over stallions, fawned over pony boys, or stared into a male's eyes thinking about wanting to kiss them, really. At least not until now. It's like a seal had been broken in my mind, and as the floodgates opened, in flooded Braeburn.

I felt like a mare, laying on my stomach, head in my hands, gazing up at Braeburn's frame, silhouetted against the prismatic night sky. This was how mares acted in the movies at least. Smitten. That was the word for it. I think I was smitten. It was a simple date. Impromptu.

Going back a bit, I waited at the edge of town while he trotted back home and got some stuff to picnic. I noticed when he came back that his mane was brushed and he switched his hat to one with a very nice slight silver lining in the brim. Cute. It really did make me blush to think that he got dolled up for me. Brae was never the more confident of the two of us, but it was noted and appreciated that he seemed to take the mantle of leading this whole ordeal in earnest. With equal parts trepidation and authority he met back with me and told me where we were going to go, he brought a blanket for me to walk in since it was getting cold, and we set off.

The walk had been simple and easy. The land was flat and the town was so small it only took a few minutes of walking to lose it completely. The lights, the sounds, the player piano in the tavern, it all melted into the distance and was replaced by shrubs and crickets and the stretch of mesas that stabbed their way up into the sky.

He brought his guitar. It was cute. I waited patiently for him to tune it. I knew that he really didn't know how to play, but he was going to try, and that's the important thing. His hooves moved deftly, manipulating each string somehow in a way I had learned not to question, as he turned the pegs with his teeth. A small fire crackled in front of him, and in the darkness we sat on an island of orange glow amidst a sea of black.

He started to strum lightly. It was a simple chord progression. I was never much into music, but it's not hard to tell when something is, at the very least, simple. If I wanted to be a little picky I could even comment that his rhythm was dragging during his chord changes sometimes. It didn't seem like he was shooting for a song, just a few chords he felt confident switching between. The sound of each strum seemed to drift only to my ears, the rest of it being lost in the night air.

He looked at me nervously every now and again. I only smiled like an idiot, not even trying to hide my interest in him anymore. Each time he would look over and see my stupid grin he would smile nervously, maybe even mess up a chord, and press on. He took a deep breath, losing some of speed with his strums, and began to let out a low howl in tune with his playing.

"awOOoooooooOOOooooooOOOOooooooOoo"

"awooOOOooOOOoooooooooOOoooOOOOooo"

The second time he tried to howl along he had a voice crack near the end. He stammered for a moment. I could see from his hoof movements that he almost stopped playing there, but he waited a few rests as he regained some composure and took another deep breath. This time I surprised him by joining in. Together the two of us belted out another few howls, gaining some confidence as we found an uneasy harmony, his strumming falling apart as it was just the two of our voices ringing out into the night.

There was a silence dripping in at the end of our shared note, and as our voices started to fade I rolled on my back, staring straight up into the sky. So many stars, a bright moon, and just the crackle of the fire. I heard a gentle thump as the guitar was sat down followed by the taps of hooves as Braeburn walked over.

He harumphed as he laid himself down next to me, his side just barely touching against mine. I breathed out heavily, my breath just hot enough to let some steam out into the air. He did the same.

"I do have to tell you something." His body was tense against mine as he spoke. I didn't want to push the contact further, it felt like there was too much air to cut through between us. He went on, speaking up into the air. "I really don't know if I like stallions. Or men, I guess for you. Males."

"Really?" I didn't mean to sound as surprised as I was. Rude in retrospect.

"I really never found myself fancied by them. I guess I did want to try going out with you as a spur of the moment thing cuz, well, if there were one fella I could see myself swinging that way for, it might be you." He shifted to the side, probing the side of his body against mine. I brought my arm down, bumping it against the top of his hat. I looked down to my side, catching his eyes, the fire and stars reflected in them, as he lifted his head, letting me slide my arm under his head, his hat gently falling to the side.

Keeping my eye contact with him, I turned myself on my side, some natural instinct taking a hold of me, and brought my other arm over. I took a careful, trembling hand and swept a lock of his mane to the side, tracing my fingers so lightly against the soft fur of his forehead. My hand drifted down slowly. I pressed my cold palm against his cheek, feeling the heat of his blush. He nestled into me a little bit more.

I moved my head down, tapping my forehead against the top of his head. I took a light breath in through my nose, smelling his mane. Not an scent I knew, as far as I could even identify pony shampoo, but it was nice to see him having put in even more effort on my behalf. We stayed there a while, cuddled against each other on the dirt, the fire starting to die out slowly.

He curled to the side and so did I, his smaller body being cradled in mine. I drew my breaths from his soft mane as he drew his from where he was nuzzled in my chest. There was still a tightness about him, his joints still stiff, his breathing a bit too measured. He was still nervous.

I could feel his breath quicken. His snout, pressed against the side of my chest, wrinkled in a bit before it all happened at once. He shifted suddenly, craning his head upward and resting it on my shoulder, staring up at me, our faces inches from each other.

It was nature at that point, a raw attraction of two forces, almost chemical. I brought my head down as he seemed to float up just a little further to meet me. My lips were loose and so were his as we merely made contact at first. Eyes still open, we touched our faces to each other more than kissed, the softness of the motion compounded by feeling and tasting his warm breath on his lips in the cold night air.

We spaced away from each other just a bit. The look on Braeburn's face was one of almost hypnotic bewilderment. I stared down at him compassionately. The embers of the fire were stoked by a small gust of wind.

He pursed his lips and came in much harder this time, curling his bottom lip up as soon as we made contact, wetting my dry mouth with his. He didn't linger.

Pulling back with a small smooch sound, his eyes narrowed a bit and he licked his lips. Tilting his head to the side this time he left his mouth slightly open, and as soon as our lips met again he sank his tongue out, licking my lips, hardly parting them with how soft he was. He didn't pull back this time as much as tilt his head for a breath. As he did so I poked my tongue out and managed to just catch the tip of his. This motion drew him back in, still barely hovering our lips against each other, and we took turns lightly kissing and licking at each other, keeping our eyes locked on one another the entire time.

I slid my tongue across his lips, and in turn he jabbed his out to force mine back into my mouth. He chased it, closing his eyes he came in hard once more and smushed his snout against my face. I purred into the advance as his wide, flat tongue forced mine back down. He then swabbed it to the side and I moved my own tongue to the side, happy to accommodate and let him explore my mouth to his content.

The night around us was so empty; my back was so cold compared to my front with this stallion nuzzled into it. He had probed slowly along the bottom of my mouth, and as he started to pull back I reengaged him, pressing my head forward and starting to wrestle with him in my mouth. It was a fight he would clearly win, his tongue being much larger than mine, but the careful and playful way he wormed it around left me plenty of leeway. I began to move my lips around and dart my tongue under his, trying to push it back into his mouth. He drew in a sharp breath as I finally succeeded in the reversal.

Before I could really explore much further his hoof pressed lightly on my chest, pushing me away. I broke the kiss, a wet sound leaving the space between us empty except for the tendril of saliva that struggled not to fall into the wind. I opened my eyes to see him looking at me with worry.

I noticed it. The stiffness still in his back, the way he had curled his legs in, the way his shoulders were poised up; he was even more tense.

I cut in, "So do you think this isn't for you?"

He looked like he might cry.

I rolled to the side and sat up, breaking most of the contact between us. I didn't leave him alone on the ground for long. reaching a hand down to take him by the hoof, I hoisted him up onto his haunches, laying a hand on his shoulder and rubbing it comfortingly. He seemed to be trying to avoid eye contact.

"Hey."

He looked up, worry in his eyes.

"It's okay. You know how skeevy I'd have to be to guilt you for not wanting to do something like this? I'm touched that you felt comfortable enough to want to try kissing me, if anything." I tried to keep my voice warm, not hard considering how flustered I was.

"I'm so sorry for leading you on. I should've...I don't know. I shouldn't've-"

A boop silenced him.

"Thanks for a great night out, friend. You don't have anything to be sorry for. Hopefully next time I'm in town we can double date; you and your marefriend and me and my coltfriend." I smiled.

He frowned, remembering this was all so I could leave him, I bet. My throat tightened.

"That would be nice, Anon. Good luck on finding yourself a good stallion. Sorry it couldn't be me."

"Pshh. What kind of a quest would this be if it were that easy. I guess I can only keep trying."

Author's Note

Who will Anon turn to on his journey for love next? Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed

Spike

Author's Note

Content Tags: lizard slit, cum and cum play, ass stuff, and gay sex in general I guess.

Spike

So this was going to be odd. Spike was like a little brother to me back in the day, but apparently I may have been deeply misinterpreting that. I guess I’ll just have to see. He had grown up a lot in the last six years.

From the kid he was then to the young man he was today, I really only had about 5 years on Spike. When he was so young that gap felt infinite, but now, as I looked at his photo in front of the School of Friendship on the train, it felt minuscule. He really had grown up.

The letter came in quickly, as soon as Brae, the gossip that he is, had let out the secret that Anon, the most eligible bachelor in Equestria, was swinging the other way to look to settle down, a green puff of fire landed on my hotel floor. It was a simple, earnest message, “Is it true?”

So here I am. The train is perhaps an hour out, It was only a day ride from the Southwest of Appaloosa back to Ponyville. I toyed with a newspaper, trying to fold the pages into some simple origami Rarity had taught me long ago, but the paper was too flimsy. Spike…

Just the name carried a different implication now. Would trying to date Spike ruin the friendship that we had? It didn’t hurt anything with Brae.

He may not even want to date. He may just want to set me up with somepony. That really could be it.

The weak paper airplane I had finally made flopped to the ground.

***

Even if I barely ever even lived here, Ponyville felt like home; it could fit right in the palm of your hand. I still felt so conspicuous among ponies as I carefully managed to step around the small bodies bumping and milling around each other on the way out of the car and onto the platform.

It was only one passenger car to Ponyville. Only one was ever needed. As colorful bodies splattered out into the station I surveyed the area. It would’ve been hard to miss him. In a world where most creatures came up to my belly button, Spike had grown to just above shoulder height: a veritable skyscraper among ponies. With the spikes on his head he could very well be just as tall as me.

“Anon!” He started to dance around the ponies between us, his lanky legs heaving up in impressive, comical strides to step over and around bystanders. He lost no momentum as he crashed into me, his body carrying some intense force behind it that almost knocked me over. His claws reached around my midriff easily, locking me into a hug and pulling me back, keeping us both from falling right there on the platform. There I sat for a moment in shock. Relief. It was just Spike.

He had his head buried in my chest, his muzzle nestled in my sweatshirt, and the rest of his body was pressed against me. He was heavy and slightly cold. My own hands drifted up touching lightly on the middle of his back, guiding his torso into position with mine, before I brought them up and locked them behind his back, bending his rubbery spikes to do so.

He broke the hug, but only barely, his body still in full contact with mine, and looked up at me. “Alright, you can stay with me obviously, and then I have a great night planned! Come on!” He turned his body to the side, keeping his claw around me to guide us both away.

“Spike.”

“Yeah, Anon?”

“I have to take my luggage too.”

***

Spike was so energetic. So perky. He was never the laziest creature, sure, but this was entirely new. Maybe it was age that set his priorities on track, or maybe it was, as I somewhat suspected, the same spirit a bird summons to build a grand nest. That is, maybe he had a pep in his step because he was horny.

Horny was less and less intimidating a prospect, however. Spike had…um…filled out quite nicely? It was hard to explain. He struck a figure closer to human than almost any creature in this world. His torso was a trunk, with his more sturdy dragon musculature filling him out, and his limbs were heavy, with weighty claws filling out his silhouette into something less human and more monster-like. For all these harsher features he had softer ones too. I noticed in every one of the poses he held how there was a sloping grace to him. Hips cocked or shoulders struck, his back or his chest or his stomach always seemed to have this naturalistic, water-like movement to them. This was lended to by the sheen of his scales that made it seem like, if I were to touch him, my hand would slide along the patterns of his body and crest naturally down between his thighs. Maybe I was just horny too.

***

He didn’t live with Twilight anymore. My heart.

I was watching him cook while making these observations. Ogling him in a way that I hoped would come off as either curious or flattering. He was wearing a pink frilled apron that hung down just below his waist so he was actually far more modest than his normal naked self. Furthermore it wasn’t ogling. It’s not like I was drooling. Much. I thought for a moment and decided to be stupid.

“Is this a date, Spike?” My voice was smooth as I asked, save for the nervous voice crack.

“Yup!” Spike answered. It was like a gunshot how quick it was. What’s more, as something that caught me quite off guard, he swished his tail to the side and bounced his hips towards me as he said it, looking back with a coy wink. That’s pretty much as close to flashing as you can get when you’re always naked.

“Okay,” I said, submitting. He had a very nice ass.

“So my plan is to show you to a gooood time. Some nice food, an evening out, it should be fun.” Spike spoke away from me, the pure glow in his voice carrying it across the room.

He had held that “good” for just a moment too long.

“So how’d you get this place?” I gestured to his cottage. It was modest. Most places in Equestria were either overwhelmingly opulent or homely and small, so no big surprise. Pots and pans and cured herbs hung over a small kitchen nook, a table set up within arms length, a small center area bound with a colorful mat, and his bed and dresser in the corner. The most outstanding piece of interior design was a small pit on the other side of the room with a circular arrangement of cushions and seats all facing into a small coffee table in the center. The late day sun slashed its way from the window through the center of the room, landing suggestively on Spike’s bed. Maybe later, sun, maybe later.

“I have a lot of small places like this all around, being an ambassador now.” Such authority he spoke with. He went on, “my main place is in the palace in Canterlot with Twilight, of course.” Of course. “ But I’m hardly ever there, of course.” Of course.

As I nodded along like a fawning foal—er, school girl I guess for me—I realized that dinner didn’t smell like dinner.

“Are you making muffins?”

“I’m not just making muffins, I’m making the best muffins.”

“For dinner?”

“The best muffins can work for any meal.”

I thought for a moment on how to say what I wanted to say next. “The don’t have worms and dirt in it, do they?

Spike looked back at me, his green eyes bulging with worry. Oh no.

“Oh no,” he said.

We stared at each other like our eyes were connected by string.

“Just kiddin’,” he said, breaking the stare and bending down to open his oven. Again with a little sashay of his hips, flashing the side of his butt to me again. I shifted in my seat. He closed the oven and straightened his apron, lifting it up and beating it out for a moment. Completely illogically, given that I had seen his front half completely bare only minutes before, I tried to steal a glance. In some odd, backwards way it was even more alluring to see only parts of him revealed, even if those parts didn’t really have much going on on the surface. He was a reptile after all. Not really much there.

I darted my eyes up while he beat crumbs from the apron, making sure I wasn’t caught in the act. I met Spike’s eyes and smirk, then looked back down, trying to discern if I could make out his slit in the dynamic lighting of the room. Wait. I looked back up at his face. His brow was furrowed as he tried to scratch away at a bit of dried batter. He seemed utterly unaware.

Finally he put the apron back down with a bit of an accented swish. He took a few eggs and cracked them in a pan.

“Breakfast for dinner is always good,” I said dryly. What else was there to say?

“Something something biscuits and sausage, am I right, Anon?” There was a laconic way he delivered the line that felt like it was meant to be suggestive. I was mainly excited to see if he was serving sausage. Meat meals were pretty rare around here.

I didn't get time to dwell on the sausage because Spike chose that time to bend down and take something from the cupboard. Oh, I get it...biscuits.

There was no beating around the bush with this one, his tail tensed and raised up to about 90 degrees while he was standing upright. Now as can be guessed, with his tail at such an angle, bending down produced an interesting result. He kept his knees locked and leaned forward, leaving nothing to the imagination. Well, I guess plenty to the imagination. Lizard anatomy. Still, however, I was treated to pretty much the whole show.

His back curved down into a surprisingly rounded ass. The gentle sloping of his legs came up at a satisfying angle right to the crease between his butt cheeks and thighs, leaving room for a modest thigh gap that left a perfect view of his slit. His...lips? I think they would still be called lips, seemed to purse a little bit. I wondered if he was clenching to avoid showing his erection. Is that even possible?

Meanwhile, just a bit further north--south from his perspective--his deep bend pulled his cheeks just far enough apart for me to make out his asshole, sitting there like a target, or at least it was something I decided I would gun for.

It was a very brief glimpse, not to make him sound like such a chronic tease. Just a little flash of the goods before he stood erect again. As did I. It didn't seem like he had picked up anything.

Never mind.

If I didn't get a good glimpse then I would get plenty more. Spike had his tail up more than down as he went about preparing the rest of the meal. From side butt to bend-overs to full moon, he seemed to really want to leverage his assets before the evening even began. By Equestrian standards this kind of flashing wasn't quite as shocking, but he was still being very forward, which I very much appreciated.

No meat. Yet. I'm on a roll with these puns. It was some very good scrambled eggs with muffins. Spike had developed a very refined palette in his travels, I figured. I dug into my first few bites of the eggs, crunching through the caramelized onions and savoring the fluffy flavor as Spike sat down across from me. It was a pretty small table and his claws bumped into my legs. It’s ridiculous, but given how worked up he had already gotten me with the peep show the small contact, just him brushing against the side of my shin, sent shivers through my body. This boy was doing things to me.

He ate quickly, abandoning the playful flirting and small talk almost entirely. I actually appreciated the break from the onslaught; a chance to not think about how turned on I had become was well appreciated. Unless I figured out a way to get turned on by eggs. I’m sure it could be done.

The meal went quickly with no dilly dallying. I expected Spike to play footsie or something but he kept things very formal. Well, he didn’t act formal about eating; however he was very formal about not showing his asshole anymore at dinner.

We finished our food at around the same time, both of us taking final gulps of our water to wash down the last of the meal. We let out mirrored sighs of satisfaction before Spike spoke, “I didn’t come on too strong there, did I?”

“Umm. I don’t know what you could be talking about.” Flirting was comfortable. I could do flirting. I could feel his claws teasing their way along my pants legs already.

"Yeah, I guess maybe my signals thus far have been pretty subtle all things considered." Spike rested his cheek in his hand as he continued to tease my pant legs. "I do like to keep things pretty classy, though. You know me." He slid his claw up under my pants and rolled them up from the ankle, going almost up to me knee. His claws felt cold but alive, like something that I could tell was alive, but could almost pass for dead. Reptiles are weird. He dragged the tip of one of his claws slowly down, drawing out the very last vestiges of the motion as he tickled right along the rim of my sock, pulling away at it just a bit before finally drawing his claws back. We had been silent this entire time.

"So," I began, my voice was far louder than I intended it to be, "um...so, what are we doing with our evening? What is this 'goooood' time that you promised?" My eyes darted to the bed, the early evening light having almost abandoned it into the darkness of the corner.

"You added one to many O's to that," Spike responded, flicking his tongue out in jest. I gave him a glare. He returned one. "Speaking of O's though..." He let his sentence trail off as he stood. He went to reach behind his back and tug at the strings holding up his apron, but stopped, looking expectantly at me, before shimmying out from the table to stand in the center of the room.

He turned his back to me, slanting his shoulders to the side and looking back with a seductive smile. The things this man was doing to me. The way he carried out the motion was hypnotic. Bringing his arms back and sliding them up to undo the knot on the apron and pulling away quickly once it was undone, he posed for me, hips struck out but tail still down. His form made for a very satisfying silhouette, the sheen of his scales once again drawing my view down like it was water, raking my gaze down his back.

He delicately shimmied the apron over his head and held it to his chest. Sticking his right leg out to his side, he pivoted his hips to once again bring the side of his ass into view. He dragged his leg back in and turned around with a belly dancing motion, letting the apron fall to the side, once again returning to being fully naked in front of me. Again, even though I had seen him in this state only a bit ago, it was the motion, the theatre of it that turned me on so much. I soaked in the sight of his bare, muscular torso before drifting down and letting my eyes rest on his crotch. Just the very very tip of what must've been his cock struggled it's was free from the bounds of his slit. Mesmerizing.

"S-so what O's are we talking about then?"

"Oh of course I mean...Ogres on Oubliettes!"

Oh damn it.

***

Allow me to clarify, I’m not saying “damn it” because I hate the game or anything, I just think that it is criminally boring and a waste of time and energy. All of the electricity in the air had been entirely drained; it was as though someone had rubbed a drier sheet on my erection. Gone. He cleared a space in his little indented sitting area, setting up a little grid and bring out—aww, he has miniatures—bringing out some miniatures to put on the grid. I moseyed over, catching the occasional peek at the side of his ass or a periphery of his crotch, but the moment was gone. I stepped into the little pit and reclined back.

“So how does this work if there are only two of us?” I asked, piercing through the quiet atmosphere of the room.

‘I…” His voice had drifted off while he was setting up his Game Master Screen. He began again, “I’m gonna control the NPC’s and you are going to play solo.”

“Will that even be fun?” Ouch, didn’t mean to phrase it like that.

“It depends on how fun you decide to let it be…” Spike made things so obvious.

“So what is the scenario then?”

“Wait wait wait!” He flapped his claw at me as he arraigned his dice and produced a miniature. He handed the dice to me first. I set them to the side and he waved the little figure in front of me, leaning half way over the table to do so. My heart.

It was crude, but it was clearly something that he made. The little Anon that he had whittled and painted was at least clearly meant to be me. It had me wearing a little adventurer’s outfit, a tunic and coif with a sword at my side. I grabbed it ever so gently from the little wooden base and stared at it. Damn him this was cute.

“You ready?” Spike said, waiving off his own kindness.

“I…yeah. This is my character sheet, right?”

“Yeah.” Spike began to shuffle his own dice into numerical order.

“Yeah, that’s it. Are you…um…okay with this being a bit more…intense than normal O&O?” Spike was nervous. This was the first time I had seen his shining confidence crack.

“I think so, Spike. I think I want to do this with you.”

He was still doubled over the table. The sun was as low in the sky as it could get, the lone ray of light from the window hung in the air above him, his face softly lit from above as his emerald eyes caught all of the lanterns in the room, holding them out to me, drawing me in like a moth to the flame.

Do dragons have lips? For the sake of simplicity I think I’ll just call the rim of Spike’s mouth “lips.” His lips were cold at first. Cold and clammy. However, like any other time I had touched him, they were brought alive with weight, by the force behind his movements and the tactile energy I could feel just below the surface.

It was a soft kiss. Short. For all of Spike’s unwavering confidence before this point, there was a shaky, skiddish feel to him now. He was forcing himself forward, his elbows shaking as we finally met lips. For only a few seconds we held there. I felt him pull away and opened my eyes, feeling my cheeks redden. He opened his eyes wide, letting out a long shaky breath as he slithered back into his seat across from me.

“Okay. Well do you…um…do you understand your character, do you think?” Spike started to shift through his papers again.

“Let’s see,” I spoke as I started to scan the character Spike made for me. “I would call myself more dashing than handsome,” I read the description Spike wrote.

“I could change it to cute if you want.”

“Actually I’m more concerned with the choice of wardrobe here. You crossed out where I would put my armor.” I raised an eyebrow.

“Ehem. Well, yeah.”

“Any particular reason?”

“Well this one-shot is a short story about you going on a date with a dragon in a sauna.” Spike was getting red.

“So you made a story about me just going on a date with a dragon. That seems like a self-insert, Spike.” I was teasing.

“Look, sometimes a dragon wants to imagine what it would be like to go on a date with a human. Either way, it’s not just that. You’re trying to steal a magical pendant around his neck. It’s up to you to use your skills and smarts to figure out how to find the right moment.”

We sat in silence for a moment, my raised eyebrow forcing Spike to shrink further and further down. He looked down at his game master screen and slowly brought up a pendant, it was really just a black choker with a sticker on the front, and put it around his neck.

Silence again.

“Spiiiike.” He looked up at me, his face still quite red. “Is the pretense even worth it anymore?”

“Yes. It’s doing a lot for me.” He answered so quickly. Okay, I can play along. Maybe even up the ante.

“Well, Spike, you have all of your ‘equipment,’ so should I get into mine?” If it was just a game of teasing each other to see who would break then I could certainly play ball on this one. My lower half was covered by the table while I sat anyways.

Spike was silent, I assumed in some sort of dorky awe, as I pulled my shirt up over my head. I arched my back and sucked in my diaphragm to strike the best figure I could. The hut was pretty warm, and it was about to get even hotter, so I didn't worry much about being uncomfortable. Once my shirt was off I looked at Spike. It was a look of dorky awe; I was right. I hooked my thumbs under my pants, deciding to leave the underwear for later, and slid them down. I kept eye contact with Spike the whole time as I shimmied in my seat, finally kicking my pants off under the table into his legs.

“Whoops, could you hand those to me?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

Robotically, undoubtably hiding an erection under the table—an erection I may have just hit with my pants—he grabbed them and reached over, handing them to me.

“Thanks.”

You could’ve heard a pin drop with how silent we were.

“Roll for your Heartiness.” Spike blurted. I guess we were starting.

“16.”

“Okay…You thought dragons would like it hotter than this. Sitting in the sauna across from Kalak, you take stock of your situation: You have the inventory crystal hidden, strapped to your thigh underneath your towel, so you aren’t without weapons. However, you do have quite the precarious situation on your hands. With no armor you are quite a bit more vulnerable than the dragon sitting across from you.”

“He is a sight to behold. Much more humanoid than most dragons, he stands almost a foot above you,” Spike puffed out his chest, “and his physique is immaculate to say the least. His midsection is sculpted, scales glittering with percolated water, and as he lounges back, you could count each of his muscles. You almost want to. His arms are up behind his head, his relaxed and open pose giving off a natural dominance between the two of you.” Spike brought his claws behind his head and leaned back himself. If his dm screen weren’t there I think I probably would’ve seen the end of his erection. I would see it if he had one, that is, and also if it was that long, I guess.

“His towel is the same length as yours, but his bigger frame and much thicker, more muscular legs meant that a modest covering for you was almost a joke on him. Good thing dragons keep things pretty packed away.” He shifted in his seat. “And of course there is the pendant around his thick, red and gold neck.”

“Hmm…” I brought my hand up to my chin. “I’m guessing I’m in open play, now?”

“Yes.”

“I ask him if he even needs the towel.”

“Um…roll speech.”

“14.”

Spike looked up and to the right. He let out a low hum and began to speak in this faux gruff voice, something pretty far out of his normal range, but it was cute, “I was only following your lead, human.”

“But dragons are normally naked. Humans aren’t.”

“I suppose so…My scales could use some airing out down there for sure.”

Spike stood. I was wrong, he was holding himself back. Once again, however, I saw just the end of a pink tip sticking out of his slit. He made the motion of tossing a towel to the side, going back into his voice, “I’m sure you don’t mind some slight immodesty, human. After all, we are here as friends.”

Spike mimed the poses Kalak must’ve been making. I imagined the massive muscular dragon that he had described making the same poses, stretching one arm up and back behind his head, framing his rib cage out against his midsection. He arched his back and I was lost, both finding myself enamored by the soft, round shape in front of me, and lost in the idea of his beefy, muscular rump my character was being treated to in the game.

He ran his claw down his side, sliding it along the curve of his hips and dipping over the front of his thighs dangerously close to his groin. Instead he kneaded his hand into the muscle of his thigh and spoke again, “You know, human, there’s no need to feel such reservation around me. I’ve never seen your kind before, so I have nothing to judge your form off of if you are nervous.”

The weapon crystal. What to do about that?

“‘Let me take off my weapon crystal first,’ I say.”

“Really?” Spike broke the voice.

“Yeah. Why not be up front?”

“Roll speech.”

“2.”

Spike struck an angry pose, shoulders hunched forward, brow beaten down into a scowl. Back into character, he spoke, “How about I take care of that for you? Don’t move, human.” Spike shot daggers from his eyes as he stepped widely over the corner of the table. I couldn’t help but notice that the motion pushed his penis just slightly more free from its confines.

His claw shot out forcefully, but lost momentum just before coming into contact with my chest. Firmly, he pushed me back in my seat. I was startled, but excited at this turn. I’d never let him know it, this having become a little game in my head, but I might have become a tad turned on.

He scooted the table back, leaving my legs down to my knees exposed. Nothing but my boxer briefs stood between me and Spike now. Standing over me, he hefted his leg up and softly planted his food on my chest. The view was spectacular. The cleft of his butt cheeks curved in to his taint and sprang back outward into the scales around his slit. I could see him flex his midsection, tightening the muscles around his groin and forcing his cock back.

“Where is the crystal?” He spoke in character again. Coming back into the scene of the game, my human being dominated by this burly dragon. I could feel my cock begin to stir.

“My thigh, Kalak. Feel free to take it, no hard feelings.” Spike could probably feel my heart beating through his foot on my chest.

Spike took his foot off of me and turned over me, leaving him standing with his tail right over my face. He bent over the table and rolled one of my dice.

“You got a 15 on your heartiness roll,” he whispered, “meaning you don’t take any damage from this.” He dropped like a rock. The air was knocked out of me as he sat on my chest his tail flopping over my shoulder. I was struck once again by how he felt. He was cold, not ice cold but barely up to the temperature of the room, and because of that his body felt like it had a dead weight to it, a raw density that made every inch of him feel thicker and heavier than it was. It was so alien and erotic.

His thighs were straddled on either side of my stomach with his ass on my chest. As he leaned forward, bringing his head down towards my underwear, he lifted his tail, affording me an incredible front row seat to his entire nethers. I could see everything. His asshole was squished between the muscle at the base of his tail and the fat of his butt cheeks, and his thighs spread leaving his entire lizard slit in perfect view.

“Human. Put your hands on me,” Spike spoke in his Kalak voice, “I don’t want any trickery. Place both hands on me and don’t move them away.”

I was once again brought back into the game, imagining this adonis of a creature pinning me down instead of his little dragon man. I brought two shaky hands up, letting them sink into the handle of his hips on either side. It was a counterbalance, with my hands where they were I could guide his weight, but he still pinned me down.

“Good. Now let me make sure you dont have a weapon hidden under here.” I could feel the heat of his breath on my thighs as he spoke. The head of my cock strained against my underwear, undoubtably treating him to an interesting sight. “Seems there is a weapon, but I don’t think it poses much of a threat to me.” Spike wavered in his character, his own lust almost overcoming his dedication to the scene.

He ran a claw up my thigh, starting right above the knee. I could feel his claws lightly rake into my skin, not painful as much as stimulating, like hard plastic or long fingernails. He dragged them so tantalizingly slowly up my left leg, drifting from left to right, scouring me trying to find my “weapons.” He stopped just short of my inner thigh. Right on the edge of my boxer briefs. He repeated the motion slowly up my right leg. I couldn’t stop myself from squirming, tightening my grip on his hips to signal that he should keep going.

He went back to my left leg, this time sliding his claws under the hem of my underwear and hooking them up. Feeling the light exposure of air made me gasp. I stretched my thumbs around the fat of his hips as far as I could towards his tailbone. I let the motion guide me as I dug my hands deep into the meat of the sides of his ass cheeks. He breathed out deeply, shuddering. The heat of his breath was directly on my cock.

“Human…” Only the ghost of the Kalak voice came through as Spike began to speak. “I think I found a weapon under your towel. As promised, I might have to disarm you…” There was no bass in his voice as the words croaked out. I could barely bring myself to speak either, like every work would simply be lost in the moment.

“Do what you feel you must, mighty dragon.” I’ve never heard my voice do that. He hooked his thumbs under my waistband.

He pulled back.

He took a whole new position, dismounting me and laying on his side next to me. Spike, with his slight frame and almost effeminate build, seemed to sink into me, into the warmth of my side, much like a lizard would sink into the heat radiating off of a rock. His head came to rest on my chest. Without his ass in my face, we were both now looking down at me. I was suddenly much more aware of myself. Spike laid a claw on my chest, right in front of his snout.

My breathing was uneven. With his hand lightly guiding my chest in and out—his own heartbeat that I could feel against my left arm—I started to control my breathing as he slid his claw down my front. It was so appreciative, like he was appraising me by touch alone. It didn’t take long to drift down to my waistband once again. There was an ever so slight hesitation. He slid his claw underneath.

I desperately needed something to do with my other hand, something to do with my head, something to do with my lips. My right arm shot up right as Spike moved his claw tips over my groin. I took his chin and forced him to look up at me. The sun had finally gone all the way down. His eyes only reflected the lanterns of the room back at me for a few seconds before he closed his eyes and brought his lips up into a kiss.

It wasn’t forceful, the type of ravenous kiss I would’ve expected during such a climactic moment, but rather a continuation of the slow burn we had settled into. This light, playful, series of kisses and pecks played in tune with the playful, indirect contact Spike kept administering to my cock. Touching along the base, teasing his claws down along my balls, touching my thighs, Spike seemed to be making himself at home in my pants before wanting to continue any further.

His wiggly tongue found its natural home around my own, snaking around to explore my mouth. I moaned softly into his lips and started to trace my hand down to his collar bone. I was right about his scales. They were smooth and glossy, and the way they all led downward guided my hand to his lean midsection. He was pretty toned all things considered. Scales didn’t pull as tight as human skin did to accentuate form, but I could feel the little dips and outlines of a surprising, and titillating, array of muscles. Again I was reminded of our fantasy, of the Mighty Kalak.

He pulled my underwear down with little fanfare. Tugging them aside at first, he tapped on the side of my ass so I could shimmy around and let him pull them all the way off. My cock stood free as he broke the kiss, dragging his tongue inch by inch over mine in the motion. I freed my left arm from under him as he sat up and lost no time groping for his hips. The slit wasn’t getting in my way anymore.

He pulled my boxer briefs down past my feet as I sat up next to him. I wrapped my arm around and over the smaller dragon and held him gently in place, looking down lovingly at him as I placed my hand on his stomach. We locked eyes. With a gulp he gave a small nod of approval as I let the smoothness of his scales lead my hand downward.

It wasn’t like pussy lips. I don’t think I expected it to be, but that’s really the closest reference that I had. It felt simpler. Like there were fewer muscle groups at play. Once I ran my fingers over his slit he started to relax. My index finger teased its way into his entrance, finding the inner walls completely drenched in precum that he had been holding in the entire time we had been teasing at each other. No sooner had I begun to finger him than his dick started to drop from his slit. We both watched him get hard together, a coy blush covering his cheeks.

It was slick enough that I thought about asking for a wet floor sign. I guess one of the side effects of the slit is that it stored a ton of extra lubrication. Pink cone-ish shape with some knobby things coming off of each side and an at-ease knot at the bottom, this was a bit different from an equine like I was more used to. Definitely more different than a human. I toyed with it in my hand, bouncing it against my palm. Good weight and pretty reasonable length too. Much thicker at the base, I couldn’t quite get my hand to close around it. I did a couple of playful strokes to make up for how much he had teased me. It was almost rubbery.

I looked back at him to see his eyes glaring up at me in thought. I met his look with my own pondering glance, not breaking the eye contact as I lifted my hand up to my face and sniffed at his precum. Bleachy. I liked it though. I took a taste. While it had been quite a while since I had tasted stallion cum, it seemed like it was pretty similar. I realized his claw was gripping my wrist.

He narrowed his eyes seductively, sliding his tongue out of his mouth. He lapped away at my hand, licking between each of my fingers, getting as much of his own precum off of my hand as he could. I could only think to watch.

The motion played out in two beats. First, he got on his hands and knees and stole a quick kiss, leaving a trace of his own precum-mixed-saliva hanging between our mouths as he pulled away. Second, he swung his leg over my hip and sat down on my thighs, the tip of his glistening cock gently touching against mine. Holy Celestia, this was hot.

“I need to make sure you’re properly lubed up for this.” Spike’s voice was quiet like he was talking to himself.

The motion came quite naturally from that point on. I dug my hands once again into his hips and comfortably began to guide him forward. I left the pace to him as he reached a claw, larger than my hand, down to hold our cocks against each other. Held in his grip, his cock slid in and out with each of his thrusts as mine stayed still. He began to move his claw up and down to supplement the motion and spread more of his precum, also mixing mine in as I began to leak.

I moaned deeply. The bumps along his shaft were interesting to say the least. It made me wonder how pronounced the feeling of a stallion’s medial ring might be when frotting. Questions for later.

All this teasing had done it’s damage. I was close. He had to be too. I don’t know where dragons store their cum, but Spike had almost turned into a faucet at this point. Every few thrusts he would let out a moan or a grunt, another spurt of precum shooting out. If I was lucky the timing would be perfect for it to land right on the head of my dick.

“Spike…” I managed.

“Oh shoot!” Spike opened his eyes wide and let go. He backed up too. Blue balled.

“Why?” I didn’t hide the desperate ire in my voice.

“I wanted you to cum in my ass is why. I’m not wasting a load like that. Erm…looks like you’re pretty good to go. Wanna warm me up real quick then you can finish off back there?”

I hooked my fingers under his choker and pulled him down, bringing our cocks into sweet contact again. Pulling him into a forceful kiss, my tongue beating his back so I could run it along his sharp teeth, I shoved one hand into the small of his back, keeping him in place. No more games. My other hand stretched around to his ass, he arched his back for easier access. I pinched his asscheek before reaching between us, taking a healthy heap of the fluids coating our cocks, and came back up, sparing no time in finding his asshole.

He was tense at first as one finger probed its way in, but he knew what he was doing.

He relaxed. He moaned into my mouth. He writhed under my grip. He took up to my second knuckle.

The moments all melded together as I feverishly tried to keep the orgasmic high I had been so close to achieving.

He was ready and he knew it. Pulling away, leaving a strand of saliva hanging between us, he repositioned quickly. Grinding and sliding his way along my torso, he propped himself up and took a ready stance leaning back. With his cock prominently displayed I couldn't help but grab at it, giving him light stroked to keep up the feverish pace we were both under.

I helped line him up with me, guiding him by the sides until his tailhole was in just the right spot, then he took my by surprise. In one sharp but careful motion, leaning back on his haunches, he sat down. My entire length sheathed inside him at once, I could only gasp and reflexively buck my hips into the movement. He was so hot inside. So tight.

It was a mad dash at this point for the both of us. My hand tugging at his slick, engorged cock, he bounced up and down in no careful fashion. We had a few false starts where his sheer energy made me slip back out, but soon I was back in his tight hole as he went on pumping away.

He started to get vocal soon enough. Little coos came from somewhere deep in his chest, breaking up the repeated plaps that filled the air. I just let out heady breaths, trying to keep my focus on guiding him with one hand, not wanting to fall out now in the home stretch, and trying to jerk him off with the other. I looked up at him.

His head was tilted back. He rubbed one of his claws up and down his stomach and chest while bringing the other down to his cock. He put a rough grip over my hand and guided us both through the frantic final moments before his inevitable orgasm.

I was close too. I started to grunt each time Spike brought his ass down. His moaning was reaching a crescendo and he was doing most of the work on his cock at this point. I was about to warn him that I was near coming before he erupted.

It was a mess, to say the least, but the good kind of mess. I thought he had to be pretty tapped out given the amount of precum he had produced thus far, but his first shot of cum alone, arcing quickly through the air before he could even react, was massive. It easily reached up to my face, hitting with such a force that it caught me off guard. I was ready for the rest of it though, I opened my mouth and almost lost count of the number of ropes in the veritable shower that Spike gave me. My head and chest caught the first half dozen shots, then it slowly started to accumulate on my stomach and eventually seep down unto my groin as it just kept coming.

Spike had seized up with the sheer power of his finish, but he still moved with my guidance as I sought my own climax. It was as his own cum started to wetten the plaping between us that I gave a few deep gyrations of my hip, firing off my own load into the purple dragon on top of me. Not to be outdone, Spike lethargically flexed his ass and ground his hips as I began to cum, milking every last drop that he could. Then we sat.

It was just heavy breathing. We were still, catching our breath in the smell of sweat and cum that surrounded us. He flopped down on top of me, a wet squelch accompanying a deep and tender hug. I felt myself slip out of him, and was pretty sure I could already feel him seeping onto me. We slowly caught our breath together, matching each other's rhythm.

Like a reptile--I guess literally--Spike looked up at me again. He craned his head up and I met him half way for a polite little kiss on the lips. He pulled back and licked some of his own cum off the corner of his mouth. "Time for a bath," he said in a tender whisper.

The bath ended up being cute. There really wasn't much left to banter about. We left the game set up on the table and walked off. Spike lived a decent ways out from Ponyville so we simply strode outside naked, covered in cum, Spike still leaking. He hadn't told me where we were going, so I followed quietly, the cool night air threatening to make me shiver. There was a small clearing we had to walk through, the grass tickling my feet as we went, and I stopped to gaze up at the starry sky, at the moon. I felt his claws slide under my arms from behind as he hugged me again. I grabbed his claws as he hooked them around me and we stood under the moon for a bit. It was a nice moment.

"Have you ever taken it in the ass, Anon?"

Alright then.

"Uhhh." I was very aware of his position behind me. "Not, like, penis in ass...no."

"Well that might be a bit much for one evening, but if you want to come back to me on your quest for love," he leaned in, whispering in my ear, "that's certainly something that we can try."

He really made me let out a shivering breath. He could be so commanding when he wanted to.

We detached but he kept my hand in his claw as we crossed the rest of the way over the clearing and stopped by a small pond. Spike signaled for me to wait. He grabbed a small box that was sitting on the bank and opened it, taking out a small purple bottle. He popped the cork and tossed some powder from the bottle into the pond and the entire thing sparkled for a little while before settling down. It must've been some kind of magical cleaner or soap.

He nodded to me and slowly stepped in, recoiling from the cold. Once he was waist deep he crouched down low, sinking into the water, and dipped his snout in. A jet of bubbles sprang out into the water as he breathed out, his fire breath heating up the pond.

He came up for a breath and smiled. "You may wanna test it to be careful. I don't know how hot is too hot for humans very well."

I dipped a toe in and found that he had done a pretty fine job. He came half way out, taking my hand and guiding me into the center of the pond with him. He was up to his shoulders while I was only up to my chest.

It was a slow and passionate bath. In no particular order and with no particular rush we groped and rubbed and teased at each other for a while, Spike reheating the water every so often. I played with his semi hard cock when he slipped it from his slit to clean it, he groped at my ass and kissed my shoulder. The water had a slight tingle to it, no doubt from the potion he had thrown in, and it made my skin feel electric and alive.

Within a few minutes of this sensual back and forth I had gotten hard again. Spike took a position behind me, guiding me towards the shallower end of the pond. His cock poked between my legs, brushing up underneath my balls. Lost in the sensations, I let him guide me onto my hands and knees as he knelt down behind me. I was about to voice a complaint, telling him that I was reluctant to try anal with him, but I was cut off by his tongue.

Before I had even turned around he had taken up position between my legs. His long warm dragon tongue slithered its way suddenly around the left side of my balls from behind. Once there it slowly dragged its way back over my coin purse before doing the same to the other side, shutting me up again.

He gave my taint a few licks before moving up to his prize. I arched my back and sank into a low sign as I could feel him start to rim me. Also interesting was his claw, taking position at the base of my cock and starting to stroke. I did my best to relax, focusing on the stimulation to my dick to distract me until I had finally loosened up enough to enjoy the tongue swirling around my asshole.

Even after having gotten off pretty hard only a few minutes ago, our foreplay had done wonders to work me back up. Contributing even more towards my orgasm was Spikes tongue which had just taken the plunge so to speak. I moaned softly and arched my back further. He felt like he knew the idea of what he was going for, as he slithered his long tongue around searching for my prostate, but he just couldn't quite get it.

His claws were working wonders however, as one was jerking me off and the other was gently cupping my balls. Even with his fumbling inside me I was soon moaning in pleasure, my precum leaking down into the water below. He sped up, merely thrashing his tongue while his hand job went into overdrive. I realized that I could hear my own moans echoing out into the night air. I clenched my stomach and let it go, shooting off my load as Spike kept at me on all fronts. He slowed down as my dick stopped spasming and kept his hand cupped on my balls as he slowly withdrew his tongue.

Such a weird feeling, his tongue getting dragged out inch by inch. I didn't know if there was any other remark I could formulate about it.

All the way out, he crawled up to me and laid down next me. His face barely poked up from the water, along with his chest, his knees, and of course his cock. I didn't need to be told.

Getting the whole thing in my mouth would've been quite the challenge, just as much for girth, especially around his knot, as for length. I didn't need to however, as I soon had him squirming just from me sucking at the tip and stroking the base. My other hand found its way to his tail hole under the water and pretty soon he was nearing the edge.

I took the first two blasts of cum in my mouth before I pulled away to swallow. I missed another rope that launched up into the air, slashing down in the water, but fastened my lips around the head of his cock in the end to catch the last chunk of it.

I was almost about to swallow the last mouthful before I found myself embraced by Spike. He kissed me deeply and his tongue probed my mouth thoroughly, stealing his own cum greedily back for himself.

After the kiss it was a simple matter of cleaning up the rest of the way and taking the light stroll back.

The walk in the night air left us dry by the time we re-entered the hut, and Spike and I took a big little spoon (me) and little big spoon (him) position in the bed and fell asleep for the night.

It was only in the morning, as we were eating dinner for breakfast, talking about the previous evening, and preparing for me to leave, that we even thought of the conclusion to our game.

"Guess we'll say they screwed and parted ways," Spike shrugged. I procured the choker that had been around Spike's neck the night before. The amulet I was meant to steal.

Spike was understandably shocked. I had been naked since last night and, given the exploration we had done with each other, the next question was obvious: "where did you even hide that?"

I smiled, "guess I rolled a good slight of hand."

Male Mail

So Parcel Post has a nice package. At least that's what I was thinking.

I'd found myself met with thoughts like that about a lot of stallions recently. Not just "nice package," though that seemed to be an undeniable benefit of horse anatomy, but "nice butt" and "nice face" and "nice muscles" and other such gay thoughts. Spike broke the seal it seems. Count on a dragon to make me flaming.

Not as though I haven't had my dalliance with dick in my time in Equestria. Men don't get the great reputation you're very own Anon does, one of being the absolute master of mares, lord of loads, and conqueror of all cooch, without letting a few dicks slip into the pudding. Those had been exceptions to the rule, however, and the new rule was--

"Parcel Post has a nice package," I muttered aloud. All semblance of charisma leaving my brain as idea met reality, and my mouth went from sex organ to own-shoe repository. Now this would have not been any kind of issue normally. I was with Pinkie Pie, a purveyor of packages herself, and we were otherwise alone in the second story of Sugar Cube Corner having scones and catching up. However, sound has this unique feature where, when unobstructed, it carries on a certain distance. It just so happens my volume, tuned appropriately for such a comment to a friend in the privacy of her quarters, was just loud enough to carry perfectly to the street below. Would you believe me, dear reader, if I told you that such a volume, on a quiet Ponyville morning, was also incidentally the same volume needed to reach street level. Would you also believe I had left the window cracked open, just a bit, to get some breeze and comfortable ambient noise for the room? Well, if I have strung you along this far, then I'm sure it comes as no small surprise that he heard me. He heard me say he has a nice package.

It would have been awkward enough, seeing him react, looking up to me and Pinkie on the second floor with a raised eyebrow, looking back at his flank, at his tail lightly swept to the side by the wind, and looking back up at the two of us. Ponies are not terribly modest, not generally, so the slightly amused look he returned would not have been that bad by itself, no. Pinkie Pie, however, is not one to let things stay simple when she sees a chance for some fun.

"His cock is pretty good looking too," she said, chipper voice cutting through the air and slicing its way down to him. She took a sip of her tea, cup held in her hair, and waved to him below. He returned a more uneasy wave, the amusement on his face being invaded by the beginnings of a bashful blush.

I shut the window with a snap and glowered over at Pinkie from across the table. She deflected it, however you deflect emotional energy she was a master at it, and I recoiled at the sheer innocence of the smile that she returned. My own face turning red, I fiddled around with one of her doilies, ruffing it up just enough to show her I was upset, but not enough to affect the look of the room. I wasn't a monster.

"What, Anon? Are you really pretending to have any shame now?"

Oooooo, this pink bitch. I love her.

"Pinkie, that was a little much, don't you think?" My gestures were cartoonish. One becomes much less concerned with being cartoonish-seeming in Equestria though.

"Anon, you have this nervous thought pattern I've noticed where, even after putting your penis in almost the entire catalogue of mares that you know, you think stallions are somehow more modest as a rule" She took a very knowing sip of her tea.

"I-uh...well...I just feel out of my element." I searched for words to elaborate, but decided I'd have better luck finding them in my scone than in my head, so took another bite.

Pinkie pondered. She spoke, "I remember you picking up a mare by complementing her hooves, then when she asked what you liked about them, you said they matched her teats. You fucked her within the hour."

I shrank in my seat and started to straighten out the doily.

"So do you really, really think that you can't do the same with a stallion? You wanna really go for this, right?"

"I..."

"So get out there," she cut me off with a curt but energetic tone, "save the situation, and then come up here and fuck the mail pony. I know you can." She added in a polite little whisper, "I mean I have before so I know he's easy."

***

I was running to catch up to him, but he was only 2 buildings down in the time it took that conversation to unfold, so I slowed it down to an urgent walk so I didn't look like a crazy person. Urgently walking to catch up, he turned and gave another little wave, the blush Pinkie had given him only just starting to fade from his face. I was going to change that. I was going to hit him with the smoothest, smartest, best pickup line ever. I was going to wield the charisma that earned me such titles as the King of Crotches, the Master of Muff, and the Prince of Pussy, and I was gonna sweep this stallion off his hooves and start my conquest towards being Equestria's foremost Duke of Dick!

"Hey," I breathed, stopping a few feet from him.

"Uh, hehe, Hi Anon. How are you today?" He had a cute voice, never noticed. He was tall too, almost up to my chest, much taller the average pony. I could see why Pinkie angled for him. Bushy curly-q mane and tail, cute little uniform on a cute big stallion, and a cute heart-stamp ass-mark that seemed more and more like a target for teeth.

I shook the thought of biting asses out of my head. Showtime. "When I said 'nice package' earlier, I was making a joke about the mail."

Silence. He stared at me.

"I'd, uh, like to get your package in the mail though...and I'm male..."

A tumbleweed floated by in the distance, carried only by the power of the tension in the air.

***

Pinkie's nice, decorated, plush room offered superb acoustics for the slurping and slorping sounds contained within. Pinkie herself was still sat at the window, a smug look of I-was-right-ness on her face as she sipped tea and ate her scone. Actually It seemed like she was eating mine. Rude. I was having a sloppy gay 69 on her bed though, so fair is fair. She had opted out, saying she had, quote, had her fill of eggs and sausage, and would wait for Rarity to come over to enjoy some sushi later, unquote. Ponies say I'm dense when Pinkie is here thinking about food while I'm trying to talk about sex. Geez.

No time to care too much about that though, as Parcel's package had indeed arrived. Horse cock was a wonderful thing, I was coming to learn. He was just barely tall enough to drape his cock up my chest and let me lasciviously lap at the tip, while he got his fill of my groin. Hearty horse tongue manhandled its way around my manhood, and as his snout worked my cock side to side, with him sampling the whole platter before diving in, I strained to try and get an unbroken lick all around his flare.

I gasped, or maybe more moaned, when he got tired of the tastes and went straight to seeing how his tonsils liked my member. Longer mouths meant ponies rarely needed to try very hard to hilt me, despite my completely respectable (if constantly overshadowed by horse genitalia) length, and that meant it always caught me off guard. He bobbed his head back up, tracing his large, wet tongue along the top of my shaft, before plunging down again. This time it was a moan. Right from the center of my chest, I let my gut constrict with pleasure and leaned my head back, a long, satisfied hum running out of my lips and dripping into the soundscape of the room. Pinkie was blushing, I saw.

Parcel was experienced, and he was horny. I saw a bead of pre form basically every time he bobbed back down, and I tried to lick them as fast as they formed. Each time I opened my mouth a new kind of noise escaped, I had never been this vocal before but being pinned by the weight of a full, tall, muscular stallion was just forcing it out of me like I was a rubber chicken.

He started to grind his hips into my chest. I looked at his plot while continuing my ministrations and noticed his balls folded back to let his dick flop behind him so I could lick it; I noticed as he ground into me his taint would flex with every hump, his ponut would clench in a delectable way. I even noticed his head flaring around my lips and tongue. I reached my left hand up to grab at his ass, mushing the tense, sinewy muscle into putty for me to play with, and I brought my right hand up to play with his plot.

He responded to these new sensations by kicking it into overdrive on my cock. He tightened his lips into a seal and began to suck like there was no tomorrow as he bobbed up and down with even more ferocity. His tongue bathed my cock in his mouth, and I shuddered and moaned as he lapped up my pre with the back of his tongue every time he went down. I knew the end was coming for both of us soon, his cock had fully flared on my chin, and he was leaking so much pre with every desperate grind that it was coming out with enough force to hit me in the face with every thrust.

After a respectful groping of his ass, at least squishing his ponut with a wetted finger, and a downright worshipful handling of his balls, feeling the pulled-tight-skin on his massive orbs, I finally settled on jerking the base of his cock. It was awkward from this position, more or less rubbing it in rhythm with his grinding, pressing it against my chest as I licked and sucked at as much of his massive flared head as I could. Before I even had time to warn him I came. I don't even know how much because he never slowed down, vacuuming my cock relentlessly as I moaned into the head of his.

This sent him over the edge it seems, because the second I moved my head back to moan again I felt a jet of cum hit my chin and wash over my chest. He spasmed on top of me and his legs twitched furiously as he tried to keep grinding to ride out the O. I worked as hard at his cock as I could, given the angle and my own orgasm, and felt the whole rod tense and spasm with him as I caught the majority of a second thick rope of cum in my mouth, but then a third blasted out into my face directly. I could only open my mouth and try to catch the fourth and fifth, but I had accepted my facial fate and simply enjoyed the sensation.

He had stopped spasming and breathed heavily into my crotch, my cock still in his mouth. We both just laid there breathing. The room was so quiet again. The sound of my own blood in my ears calmed, and soon our breathing did too, and we were just laying quietly in the pink, comfy, plush room of Pinkie Pie. Oh yeah, I looked over at Pinkie, who had been shamelessly hoofing herself off. She met eyes with me and I raised an eyebrow. She raised hers back and, emotional deflect, I peered at the sweaty stallion draped over me, and the pool of cum covering my face and chest and the sheets. Okay, fair's fair once again. Parcel's left buttcheek clenched and his leg twitched again beside me.

I smirked through cum covered lips. The Duke of Dick. It has a nice ring to it.

Author's Note

Sorry for the hiatus, writing is hard. Enjoy.