Tanks Fantastic Equestrian Adventure

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Chapter 1

Twilight woke up to a beautifal sunrise, the birds were singing, and a loud boom sounded from the forest, yes, a beaut-wait what. She immediately became worried something happened at the old castle, something to do with Nightmare Moon's remains. She had theorized that somepony, using the proper magic, could bring Nightmare Moon back with her own body. She hurriedly wrote a note for Spike and rushed to wake her friends to go investigate the noise.

The sun was begginning to rise over the horizon. The forest was calm and peaceful as the birds started to trill their morning songs, rousing creatures from their restful and enjoyable dreams. Such a lov-BOOOOM, nevermind.

All the birds and creatures fled the area as quickly as theirs legs and/or wings could carry them. In a clearing not to far away, a pony's form could be seen laying limply on the ground. The pony in question was a tall stocky unicorn stallion with a blond coat and a dirty blond mane, his cutie mark was a strange knife crossed over a sort of tesla coil. He wore, yes wore, a torn and battered green jacket that would give fashion designers a heart attack. A leather strap could be seen snaking around his torso connecting at a sheath that contained the strange knife. What was more concerning was the criss-crossed scar that covered most of his body.

The pony's eyes began to flutter, it was a obvious he was about to wake up. One would assume he would come back to the world peac-"WHAT THE FUCK"-efully. *sigh* This will be difficult to narrate wo-"Why am I a pony"-nt it, yeah. Well he took the whole pony thing well, and considering the manner in which he appeared and reacted, he is not a pony. "Hey narrator, shut up your boring the readers, they care about me," the pony called to cloud where I was.

"Wha-but What!," the Narrator stuttered. He was confused and-

"Hey, stop talking in third-person, its annoying and makes me want to hurt you, badly, oh and check your spelling and grammer author," the pony called once again to the sky. "What did I just say about talking like that narrator."

"I'm supposed to narrate, that is how you narrate, by going into explicit detail, and why am I even talking to you, you're not supposed to break the fourth wall," I retorted.

"I don't know if blowing the fourth wall up, then burning its remains, and then running it over counts as breaking it," the pony answered, looking genuinly confused.

"Shut up, go back to wondering why your a pony," the Narrator finished, finally ready to start narrating again.

"Fine, but I won't like it," the pony said. "You know I have a name right, you could just ask me my name and save yourself time," He wisely said. "I'm Tank, Tank Dempsey, your local and friendly badass. I've slain billions of zombies with fiv-minute breaks, from bunkers to theaters to damn Moon, Chuck Norris has nothing on me." When he finished, he left me wondering how he knew who Chuck Norris was.

Tank, now that he will not interrupt me hopefully, looked about himself, noting his unusual form as well as a path through the forest. Hopeing the path would lead him to a place that could explain why he was a pony, he took off down it, unknowingly alerting something in the forest, several somethings.

Tank, is a interesting pony, with great sight and perfect hearing. So when he heard a soft growling he slowed down and glanced about himself, until he saw a pair of yellow glowing eyes. 'Huh, freaksacks, here, well at least I wont be bored,' he thought. 'Wait, how do you know what I'm thinking.' Shut up Tank.

His spine chilled and he spun grabbing the knife and- flung it at a tree. He compensated by sidestepping, with a lot of cursing at his hooves, the oncoming claws of a, wolf made of timber!!? "Wow, seriously Treyarch, seriously, I don't even know what to say," Tank shouted into the sky while dodging two more of the beasts. Tank stood at the ready to go down fighting, regardless of the fact that he is a unicorn and could grab his knife with telekinesis and fight with it that way. "WHAT, why didn't you tell me earlier," he hollered in frustration. You didn't ask.

Anyway after dodging a few more attacks, Tank grabbed the knife as best he could with his minimal magic experience. The next Wolf leapt at him from the front, swinging the knife-"Bowie Knife buddy." OK, slashing horizontaly with the Bowie Knife, catching the wolf in its midriff, incapacitating it.

The second wolf charged low and from his left, swinging and fumbling with the Bowie Knife, Tank managed to bring the blade right up into its jaw. The third and final wolf juped upon him at the exact moment the bade penetrated Number Two causing Tank to drop the blade. The timber hound bit and scratched and drew lots of blood before Tank could buck it off. Tank then did a move that many stunt pegasi would be proud of. He rolled over and leapt, doing a back-flip, doing a complete three-sixty rotation he landed with pinpoint accuracy on the timber-wolf skull, snapping its neck. Tank then reached out with his magic and grabbed his Bowie Knife from number 2 and began limpung down the road. The sun was going down and he needed to be safe, and the path would hopefully take him there.

Before he realized he was about walk straight into a lighted area without looking first, he was completely exposed. He could also see a bueatifal purple mare. But that didn't matter to him at the moment, as he collapsed, Tank only wanted sleep. He could hear shocked voices and gasps and felt himself be picked up and moved, but that didn't matter to him, because the only thought going through his head was 'What a crappy day, oh well, just another day at the office.'

Twilight could only stare into the Everfree Forest, towards where the boom had been earlier. What was it, was anypony hurt, she sure hoped not. The sun was setting in a bueatifal fashion behind the trees. The Everfree Forest was full of dangerous creatures and night was no exception.

"Huh, I guess I was wrong girls, nothing weird going on out here," Twilight said sadly, but somewhat relieved nopony was hurt. She had just turned around when Fluttershy gasped. Spinning back around Twilight saw what had Fluttershy concerned. There was a stallion fighting three timber wolves at the same time. They watched as he disposed of each timber wolf in an amazing fighting style. When he finished, he grabbed his blade and started limping towards them. She and all her friends rushed foward to help him when he collapsed, and when it became aparent he was unconcious they pulled him into Fluttershy's house to see to his injuries.