Narrator Jared: Hi, I'm Jared. I like long walks on the beach, girls that are a little bit shorter than me but with longer brown hair, and-
Narrator Joey: Hey, hey, hey hey! Wrong personality! Open in profile!
Narrator Jared: Oh. My bad.
Okay, um, this is just me coming home from a normal day of school, a normal day, and this is the day my life completely changed. And if you're wondering, I prefer them Asian.
Narrator Joey: Shut the f**k up!
Jared walked into his house and headed into the kitchen. There was a box of donuts with a few donuts left in it, and the words "Given to Jared" written on it.
He headed into his bedroom, flopped down into his chair, turned on the TV, and started watching My Little Pony.
"The s**t..." he said.
As Jared stared lazily at the screen, the phone in the kitchen rang. Jared got up and went over to pick it up. He put the phone to his ear.
"Hello?" he said.
After a pause, he said, "No, Shaniqua does not live here."
Another pause, then, "Man, f**k you! You think I'm playing with you *unknown curse word*?" Jared said as he picked up a fake Glock and aimed it at the phone.
"Keep calling this house, and imma shoot you,", he said, sitting up in his chair. "It's not fake, it's real," he said shortly after. He threw the gun on the ground, promptly breaking it.
"I don't have any kids, and if I did, I'd strangle them," he said into the phone. As this unfolded, one of the characters on the TV screen, Twilight Sparkle, was watching Jared with great wonder.
"Man, f**k you!" Jared said again, and hung up, throwing the phone onto a table."S**t is limited edition!"
Jared went over to the donut box in the kitchen, grabbed a donut, and took a bite.As he did so, several My Little Pony characters magically crossed the border to Earth.
"What the hell?" Jared said, returning to his room. The TV had been knocked over, and the screen displayed static. Jared walked out of his room and into the dining area, where he heard the loud clopping of hooves. He stopped and looked around cautiously, pulling a knife out of his pocket.
He walked cautiously forward, as a loud noise came from his right. He turned, and turned back to see that his knife had magically disappeared. "Auaaaaagh," he croaked. He began frantically patting his pockets and other items around him. "S**t," he said.
He backed around his counter and grabbed another donut before continuing backward into a door, stuffing the donut into his mouth.
A cyan and rainbow blur rushed by, causing him to run into the hallway. He looked around before backing into the kitchen. He put his hand on the donut box to find that it had been crushed. He looked down at it, surprised, then heard a funny crunching sound. He opened his laundry room door to find a pink pony eating his last donut.
In shock, he backed away and began running into another room, only to find another pony. "Oh, my-" it began as Jared ran out of the room. He bolted into the bathroom, closed and locked the door, then began rocking back and forth on the toilet.
"He heh he he ha ha-it's not funny," he said. "It's not funny, it's not possible. It's all in my mind." He continued to rock back and forth.
"Hey! Look at me!" said a voice. Jared slowly turned to see the pink pony from earlier rocking back and forth, mocking him.
"Heh hah, he he," Jared laughed, before getting up from the toilet and bolting out of the bathroom. He ran down the hall and opened the front door, where a purple pony stood before him.
"Hi!" it said. Jared backed away, making weird faces. He grabbed a pillar. "I'm Twilight Sparkle," the pony continued. Jared stared at it. "What's your name?" it asked.
Then Jared fainted.
Twilight Sparkle looked down at him, confused.
4 hours later
Jared slowly woke up to someone stabbing his forehead with a cloth. "Thank you mom," he said before looking up, coming face to face with Twilight Sparkle.
"No no...this can't..." said Jared, sitting up. "[Inaudible], it's not real, it's not happening..."
"Ugh, not this again," said Twilight Sparkle.
"[Inaudible] No no no no no no," said Jared, getting up and leaving the room. He walked down the hall and went back into the bathroom, closing the door. Meanwhile, outside, someone was walking backward. That someone was Joey.
"How is this possible?" Jared said to himself while sitting on the toilet. "Why me?" He buried his face in his hands.
Joey stopped walking backwards and turned, then headed up to the front door of Jared's house. He knocked.
Jared got up from the toilet and went over to the door. He opened it, then pulled Joey inside as he began to say, "Hey-"
Jared dragged Joey into the dining area before letting go of him. Joey threw his arms up. "Jared! Why?"
"No, no, hell no," said Jared, pointing at a yellow pony behind Joey. Joey turned around. Jared made a funny sound while continuing to point. Joey continued to look around, but saw nothing.
"She's right behind you," said Jared, indicating the cyan pony flying behind Joey's head. "Right there. Right there!"
Joey turned. The pony began to make several funny faces.
"She just made fun of you and everything!" said Jared. He imitated the faces the pony had made. "All in your face!"
"I don't see anything," said Joey.
"You didn't see that?" said Jared. "She just made fun of you. She went aauugh and everything!" Jared continued to try to imitate the funny faces.
"What in the hell is wrong with you?" said Joey.
"So you're telling me you can't see this?" said Jared. "Miniature horses running around?" Joey looked around again. "I know what I saw, and I know what I'm seeing. And I'm not crazy. It's real."
"Son," said Joey, putting his hands on Jared's shoulders, "call me when you're sane." Joey walked away.
"Wait wait wait wait wait!" said Jared. "I'm not crazy, I'm not! I swear!" Joey walked down the driveway as Jared came out the front door. "I'm not crazy! You're the crazy one!" he yelled, pointing his finger at Joey.
Joey reached the end of the driveway and stopped. "You're the crazy one!" he said to Jared, then started running backwards down the sidewalk.
Jared walked down to the end of the driveway, watching Joey. He then turned slowly around and saw a group of ponies behind him.
"The struggle," said Jared, "is real."
Author's Note
Thanks for reading this!
Even though the actual episode was only nine minutes, this took me several hours to write. If y'all liked it, let me know. All kinds of feedback are welcome, and if you think I should change something I'll change it.
The actual episode can be watched here:
Thanks again. Peace.
