The Mane 6's Lipogrammaticalous Pyjamas Adventures

by Inked Moongleam

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Anthology, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1696

Six ponies, six pyjamas, six stories. Luna sent a gift to each of the Mane 6, but each story is a lipogram in a different vowel. An exercise of stylized writting!

Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack each receive a new pyjama from Princess Luna. Simple, yet this might be one of the weirdest thing I ever wrote, which is really saying something.

For some mysterious reasons, I ended up writing six lipogrammatic texts, one for each of the Mane 6. How? Why? No one knows, not even me, but I had lots of fun with it. Do you know what a lipogram is? It's a type of constrained writing where the author cannot use a specified letter. For example, a lipogram in T would be a text that contains no T. It's actually a very fun exercise if you're a writing nerd like me.

Cover art by Yakovlev-vad.

Published 2021-08-11 17:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-11 17:00:00 UTC

A is for Twilight

~ A ~

Nightgowns were Twilight's prefered gifts, right next to books. Or, best, the two together! So silky, so smooth, for long eves in bed of deep, wondrous perusing. The giddy feeling in her chest told her this mystery box held one. Why else would its envelope be covered in glyphs of the Moon, being much too light for the tomes of knowledge she otherwise would desire? The glow of her horn lit the gift, the thin shroud unveiling its promise of bountiful, festive possessions.

One flick of her well studied spell of telekinesis opened the offered box. Lo & behold, the promised vestment of rest! Over were the long, cold nights of listless turning, fiddling, Twilight prevented from restful slumber by insufficient nocturne covering. Princesses deserved better!

Lifting it up in her sorcerous hold, Twilight cherished the sight of her new nighttime clothing. Violet like she prefered, she noted. Or possibly indigo? Colors were not Twilight’s forte. Nonetheless, she loved it immensely. Burying her snout in the soft silk, she enjoyed its otherworldly touch, like music notes of old childhood memories on her fur.

She couldn’t hold one moment longer: she needed to try it now! Dresses were quite difficult for ponies to put on; hooves were not dextrous, possibly why most eschewed long frocks when unneeded. Twilight, though, with her immense skills of unicorn powers, held her gown firm, letting her forelegs enter the smooth sleeves unimpeded. Soon, she rested in its tender, snuggly clutch. Slumber took her to blissful reveries, Twilight lost to the night's dominion.

~ :twilightsmile: ~

Author's Note

In English, A is the second hardest vowel to avoid (after E). Beside being a very common letter, it prevent the use in lipograms of many important words, such as 'a', 'an', 'as', 'has', 'have', 'had', or 'and'.

Also, I somehow forgot 'Sparkle' has a A in it, so I couldn't even use Twilight’s full name.

O is for Rarity

~ O ~

Rarity was always after the latest trends, and she liked fine garments very much. And, what a muse regal gifts were! Such insights! A style elected by a princess was next summer's hit, it is assured.

As Rarity received the brand new vestment Luna sent her, the hint's sheer exclusivity struck her deep seated vanity. Bedtime trends were having Rarity as their avant-garde! Her future line was a dressmaker's empire's sturdy base, a wealthy enterprise's beating heart.

The designer applied herself at her art, drawing, cutting, sewing nightdresses' elegant patterns. Pyjamas needed the best fabrics, making silk Rarity's prefered material. Expensive, but such was the price when guaranteed success was at stake. Stitched astral patterns finalized her greatest nighttime masterpieces.

Rarity called all her best friends, setting up a night filled with many dresses needing fitting. She applied her best dressmaking art, making sweet PJs suiting any debutante, belle, and gal.

Funnily, Rarity never did try Luna’s gift, even as it inspired her latest, bestest nighttime success.

~ :raritywink: ~

Author's Note

I found the hardest part of this lipogram was the exclusion of 'to', which essentially prevents usage of all infinitive verbs. Some other important exclusions are 'too', 'for', 'from', 'could', and 'would'.

U is for Pinkie

~ U ~

'Giddy' was a word. 'Impatient' was another, and so was 'excited'. Some dictionaries also proposed 'woozy'. Beside being words, they also shared the property of describing Pinkie Pie after she learned a present from the Princess of the Moon was on its way.

The party pony camped in front of the Ponyville's Post Office, determined to receive her gift as soon as it arrived. She'd wait all day if she needed to… and she did. Morning became noon, which slowly morphed into afternoon and then evening. Pinkie stood vigilant watch, seconds feeling like days as she starved and thirsted.

At 8 o'clock sharp, the mail pony left, locking her office for the night. Pinkie was defeated, devastated by the lack of gifts in her postage box. She made her way home, her mane normally so frizzy deflated in her endless sorrow. On her doorstep, Pinkie discovered a box, a note attached to it:

"Pinkie Pie, I came this morn to bring thy gift in person. Alas, thy was not home, so I leave it at thy door.

Thy Princess of the Night"

Pinkie did not get to try her new PJs that night, for the simple reason that she gasped so hard she fainted. She awoke the next day in Ponyville Hospital, wearing a horrid, itchy hospital gown instead.

~ :pinkiegasp: ~

Author's Note

Like wih all vowels, a lipogram in U requires some thoughts, but it's not particularly hard. Common words that have to be excluded includes 'you', 'could', 'would', and 'but'.

E is for Rainbow

~ E ~

A day for Rainbow Dash’s had a mandatory nap. It was simply an axiom of good living for a pony flying from dawn to dark. Any spot would do, if a pillow would fit. Still, a comfy pyjama was a fair addition to a good catnap. If only Dash had it!

Luna, who saw this poor pony’s wish, did not disappoint. A royal most just, this alicorn had a gift in mind for that particularly loyal vassal. A box was brought to Rainbow Dash’s cloud mansion as an award for actions bold and daring. Though thrown off guard at first, this famous ‘Bolt found much comfort in this amazing air mail from a pony so august.

Still, though a fan of smooth cuddling, nopony would watch Dash in such frou frou clothing. Not in public! No way, no how! But, which location would spoil a big filly such as Rainbow Dash with this silly craving of total privacy? A tall oak? A dark room? Why not both? A hangout for CMCs would harbor a pyjamas-clad pony just right.

Long story short, Scootaloo found this skybound idol snoring in a pink, fluffy PJ, in that club room for crusading. Awkward… and funny. But not for Rainbow Dash.

~ :rainbowhuh: ~

Author's Note

My favorite text I ever wrote is a lipogram in E written in French. E is the hardest letter to avoid in English, but in French it's absolutely nuts. Still, I found this one harder, since English is my second language.

Fun fact: the longest lipogram ever written is an entire 300-pages novel by french author George Perec, titled 'La Disparition'. Its english translation is titled 'A Void', and neither version use the letter E.

I is for Fluttershy

~ I ~

A pony as graceful and esteemed as Fluttershy was bound to have her share of devoted fans. She'd been sent plenty of presents by postage or by hooves over the years. Those tokens of reverence, offered so freely, often made her blush, and she generally gave them away to a pony or two who needed them very much.

However, when a royal pegasus messenger shows up at your door, a package from Luna on her back, you can't help but be puzzled. That was Fluttershy's reflex, at least. After many thanks and an offer for tea, the duteous guard left, and suddenly Fluttershy was alone once more. All that was left was to open that strange, wrapped box.

She was shaky, of course, but Angel Bunny came to the rescue. Moments later, that cute fluffy rodent had shredded those ornate wraps and exposed the treasure bound underneath. "Angel, no!" Fluttershy shouted, but the bunny jumped to enter the box.

A short peep through the open package revealed the bad mannered bunny, whose head came out of a PJ preposterously too large for a snuggly-wuggly creature such as he. Fluttershy dropped her small furry pal off the carton. “Pyjamas are for a pony, not a bunny!”

Repentant, Angel gave back Fluttershy’s new loungewear. And what a pyjama that was! Only the softest cotton, from natural sources and allergens free, woven to form a sleeper of unparalleled comfort. Such a dress made cozy even her drafty cottage!

Grateful, Fluttershy resolved to send her warmest thanks by express postage.

~ :yay: ~

Author's Note

This lipogram is a little easier, but avoiding the letter I still prevents many high frequency words, like 'I', 'is', 'it', 'its', 'his', or 'this'.

Y is for Applejack

~ Y ~

Applejack loved working from dawn to dark, it's true. Proud of her strength, her resilience, and, most of all, her apples, she toiled on her farm with tranquil might. Sweet Apple Acres bloomed under her tender care, feeding ponies far and wide. Still, Applejack found the time to help friends and strangers in need, forever a solid hoof for her townsfolk to count on.

She showed no one, shirked no duties, but Applejack was worn from exhaustion. Such a dependable, honest mare deserved the best nighttime slumber. Princess Luna, vigilant, watchful of ponies' rest, made sure to reward her with peaceful sleep.

After another week of hard labor, Applejack retired to her room at sunset. Still, before she could drop her drowsing head on her well-worn bed, Applejack discovered a surprise package on her mattress. Apple Bloom had left this gift there, at Luna's behest, so her big sister found it at her time of rest.

From this well-earned box, Applejack obtained a red, apple-themed PJ. The farm mare was left speechless, and wore her gift straight to bed. Luna had struck true once more, providing a mare with the tool of rest she so much needed. She had taken Applejack's tastes to heart, choosing a garment rustic and strong for the most honest mare around.

As she woke on the morrow, Applejack never felt so rested, her mind clear and sharp, her muscles ripe for good, honest work. This morning sunlight was a real delight, all thanks to a wonderful night.

~ :ajsmug: ~

Author's Note

In English, the trickiest part of a lipogram in Y is the exclusion of most adverbs, and a whole lot of adjectives. Common words like 'you', 'by', or 'why' are also unusable.