Flipping The Bird

by Autumnblazelover61

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Slice of Life, Crossover, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Other
Length: 2103

An odd, four-legged visitor from Equestria pays Mordecai a visit at the park.

One day, Mordecai and Rigby's day is interrupted by a blue Pegasus pony from Equestria, who shows up seeking a quick round of sex from Mordecai, who must reluctantly oblige...

Or else he’s fired!

Contains: A blue jay and a horse having sex.

Published 2021-08-11 07:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-11 07:50:00 UTC

One Massive Pecker

"I just can’t believe you two! How could you let this happen?!" Benson, the adult male gum ball machine, shrieked angrily. He stood in the doorway behind the park house's kitchen and the living room, glaring at the house's newest occupant: a long, slender blue Pegasus pony with a long rainbow-coloured tail and matching mane. She sat silently on the couch watching the television with her hooves wrapped around the back of the couch.

"Geez, chill out Benson." Rigby the raccoon muttered behind Benson with a shrug, with his arms folded in front of his chest. He stood next to his friend, a tall blue jay named Mordecai. "It’s not like she’s doing anything bad."

"Yeah, I think she seems pretty nice." Mordecai added, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. "For a horse, anyways. I mean, what’s the big deal?"

"What’s the big DEAL??" Benson wailed at the top of his lungs, turning around on his heels to leer down at the two animals, his face glowing more and more red with anger every second. "I send you two out there on the front yard to rake leaves for TEN MINUTES," He paused to check his wristwatch. "And not five minutes later you come marching back in with that... that... THING!"

He blindly waved a hand at the pony, who was now obliviously fiddling with the TV remote like she couldn’t hear a word they were saying just a few feet away from her.

"She said her name was Rainbow Dash." Rigby pointed out, having been the target of enough of Benson's tirades that he and Mordecai, as well as the other park workers, were used to it by now. "Apparently she was just flying around her cloud castle in the sky, when she started flying really super fast and made a gigantic rainbow explosion that sent her here, and she flew into a pile of leaves."

Trying to avoid what would have most likely been his third Mordecai and Rigby-induced coma that week, Benson clutched at his glass forehead and seethed through his teeth. "I couldn’t care less about how she got here, you morons. Gah! One of you just get out there and get rid of that horse, before I get in trouble with Pops' dad for having a dirty barn animal lying around the place."

Rigby sighed and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, okay. We get the idea Benson. I think it’s about time for one of us to step up and finally take some of the needed responsibility for the causes of our careless actions. I think it’ll be pretty hard to settle on which of us had to do it, but through some thinking and teamwork, I’m sure we can figure out a proper solution on who should- ONETWOTHREE NOT IT!"

"Wait, what?" Mordecai cried as he whipped around to see Rigby diving out the open kitchen window. "Aw, dude, come on!" He turned back around to face the completely unfazed Benson. "Ugh, fine. I guess I’ll deal with it."

"You’re darn right!" Benson shrieked, again pointing out at the pony. "Get her off the property within the hour, or you’re FIRED!"

Mordecai groaned and through his feathered hands up in the air. "Why’s it gotta be me anyways? Why don’t you go say something to Rainbow Dash?"

Benson cringed. ”Because Rainbow- ugh! Because that thing is a pony." He gestured down to his own metal body. "And I’m a gumball machine. Can you imagine what the two of us being together would look like?"

Not wanting to imagine a relationship between his boss and Rainbow Dash, let alone an intimate get together, Mordecai lowered his hands and shuddered. ”Alright, alright. I’ll go."

"Good." Benson cursed under his breath and put his hands on his hips, shaking his head as Mordecai walked past him into the living room, before he sulked off into the kitchen. "Man, I need some chicken wings..."

Rainbow Dash sat silently on the living room couch, her half-lidded eyes gazing at the advertisement on the television screen before her. Something about a super powerful robotic arm that could be used for cheating at arm wrestling.

"Eh. Snooze!" Rainbow rolled her eyes and waved a hoof at the screen. "Who in Equestria could ever benefit from that kind of technology? Besides, I could easily beat Applejack at hoof wrestling without that thing."

Suddenly, Mordecai stepped in front of the TV, an angry expression on his face and his arms folded. Rainbow was barely even fazed and tried to look past him. "Hey! Beat it, blue jay! Keeping Up With The Klorgbane's is coming on next."

"Uh, listen, Rainbow Dash." Mordecai started, now cupping both hands in front of his crotch. "It’s been great having you here... well, except for the part where you sort of ruined this piles of leaves Rigby and I had raked up. But, uh, now we really need to help you get back to Equestria."

"What? Puh-leez!" Rainbow scoffed. "If my friends really cared about me, they’d have found me by now. Besides, I don’t need help from some dumb blue jay!" She picked up a packet of chicken wings she had devoured and chucked it at Mordecai. "Why don’t you just pack your bags and fly back to Toronto?"

Ouch, now THAT's cold Mordecai thought as he shrugged off the thrown packet. "Wait a minute, how many of those chicken wings have you been eating?"

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "I don’t know. I stopped counting after, uhh..." She started counting on her imaginary fingers, "Uh... what comes in between 5 and 48 again?"

"Oh man, Rainbow, that’s stuff is gonna get you fucked up!" Mordecai warned her worriedly. "If we don’t get you home soon, you’ll have to spend the night here, and sleep in a cardboard box or something."

"So? Rigby literally sleeps on a trampoline!" Rainbow pointed out. "And if I remember correctly, you guys let that weird yeti guy sleep in the park garage. Besides, your gumball machine made a good point. I’m sure a stubborn old "thing" like me can handle things on my own."

Mordecai cocked an eyebrow. "Wait, you could hear everything we just said back there? And you’re totally cool with all of it?"

"Yeah, I could hear him, but it’s okay. It’s not such a big deal." Rainbow brushed it off with a shrug, blowing softly on one hoof and rubbing it against her chest before putting it onto her lap.

It was then that Mordecai noticed the glistening pink in between Rainbow's legs. He’d never seen horse genitalia before, let alone that of a talking, flying one, and he had never planned too. And he wasn’t sure why staring at the filly seemed to suddenly make her marehood drip extra large spurts of lovelube forth from her vulva.

"Uh, are you... okay over there?" Mordecai questioned her, shielding his eyes to avoid spotting her wet, gushing vagina. "You seem, to be, um..."

"...Oh! Heh, do you mean that?" Rainbow gestured downwards and then parted her legs to give the bird an extra good look at her cunt, freshly soaked with an inexplicable rush of cum. "I guess it’s been a while since I’ve really gotten laid in my world. My friends, heck, even my own parents, have been really distant lately. That’s why I was out there flying around in the first place. Just a way to kill time."

Up went Mordecai's eyebrow again. "Did you just say... your PARENTS?"

"Eh, you know what. It doesn’t matter." Rainbow stretched her tired limbs and wings out, before turning around and lying down on her back on the couch, her rainbow-coloured mane becoming lit up by the sun outside. "Tell you what? Why don’t YOU just have sex with me now? Then I’ll just be on my way and fly myself back home."

Mordecai's eye started twitching like crazy, and his ears would be doing the same if they were even visible. "You want me to... WHAT?"

Rainbow facehoofed. ”What? You’re the one who wanted me gone, remember? Just have sex with me right now! I don’t care if you last two minutes or something with..." She gestured awkwardly to Mordecai’s crotch feathers. "Whatever tool you’ve got poking around in there!”

"But... but there’s not... I don’t even-" Mordecai was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing her throat. He turned to find Benson leering at him from the doorway, giving a sinister Just go with it! head nod.

"Ugh! Alright, whatever you want." Mordecai grumbled as he climbed over and positioned himself on his knees facing Rainbow, with both of his hands at either of her sides. "You ready? Here it comes!" He pushed out his crotch and began rubbing his cloaca softly against her slit. A few seconds later, his bird genitalia popped out a small puddle of semen against Rainbow's pussy lips.

Mordecai leaned back and smiled at his little creation, already festering against the cyan pony's pubic hair.

Rainbow arched her back and shivered, moaning just a little, before her face fell flat. She raised her head to leer at the oversized bird. "Woah woah woah! That was IT?"

"I’m a blue jay." Mordecai folded his arms as he responded simply. "Maybe you just aren’t an animal expert. We have cloaca, not a penis. Unless you’re a bird, you won’t really be getting good dick."

Rainbow Dash scrunched up her snout and snorted. "Ha! Over my dead, awesome body." Before Mordecai knew it, she kicked him over onto his back, with his talons parted to allow Rainbow to slide her head perfectly in between his cleft legs.

"Ahh! What are you-"

"Oh, calm down, scaredy beak." Rainbow teased him, as she breathed gently against the wet fur of his sheath. "You should thank me for doing this. You’ve only ever had two girlfriends, and one of them is a talking cloud lady.”

"What? How do you KNOW all this stuff?" Mordecai demanded to know. "You’ve only been here for a few minutes!"

Rainbow chose not to respond to that, instead burying her nose deep inside Mordecai’s crotch fur, taking in a long whiff of his scent like a bloodhound, and her tongue soon emerged to lick up and down his lazy excuse for a bird penis, ever so gently.

"Ohh-h-h, yes. That’s the good stuff." Mordecai moaned and giggled as Rainbow pressed her tongue further into him. "Oh, Rainbow Dash, that feels-oof- great!"

"Well, duh! I’m totally awesome at this!" Rainbow said as her tongue retreated back after a few more long seconds. She was treated with a huge gush of spunk which erupted from Mordecai’s cloaca, and stained Rainbow's face with the bird's semen.

"Ahhhh! So tasty!" Rainbow complimented as she licked the tasty snack from the corners of her mouth. "Damn, you tasted almost as great as Spitfire used to in her prime. Maybe you’d have a better chance of getting together with Margaret if you always take your time with that."

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Mordecai sat up on the couch. He chuckled and rubbed his shoulder sheepishly. "Well, I hope that you’re happy now."

"I hope so too!" Benson stood next to the couch and growled, startling both of them. "Rainbow Dash, Mordecai had sex with you like he promised!" He pointed at the door. "Now get out of here and fly back to your home so that we can get back to work!"

"What the what?" Mordecai said angrily. "Dude, you couldn’t have stepped in before when I’d already rubbed my cloaca all over her."

Thankfully, Rainbow Dash gave a loud yawn and leapt off the couch to stretch her wings. Splotches of her mare cum fell to the floor below , which made Benson feel even more irate at the pony. "Well, I guess I’d better be heading home now. Twilight will probably be wondering where I am by now." She winked at Mordecai. "I’ll make sure to say hi to her for you."

"Uh... sure." Mordecai said.

"And don’t you even try coming back to this property again!" Benson spoke up, his face boiling red. "Horses are officially banned from the park... well, except for Party Horse, I guess."

"Okay, fine. That seems fair. I was never interested in coming back to this place, anyways." Rainbow said, just before a wide grin spread across her lips.

Benson narrowed his eyes, "Don’t you dare..."

"You know who ELSE was never interested in coming back to this place?"

Author's Note

Because who says Twilight needs to have all the fun?