Somewhere, Beyond the Sea
“Hey little guy. It’s me again.”
A pretty, pale blue face pressed itself against the glass, a face with a measured, yet bubbly bright smile and wide fuschia eyes that glimmered with a mix of affection, joy, wonder, and something vaguely morose. It was followed shortly by a hand, and a little giggle escaped from the girl’s lips. On the other side of the glass was a seahorse, a desaturated pink in coloration but which nonetheless shone with a brilliant and beautiful pearlescence of blue and purple that made him seem like he was made of gemstones. Or, at least, Sonata thought he was a he. Truth be told, she had no idea, but it wasn’t something she gave a whole lot of though towards.
“Sorry it’s been so long since I came to see you. We haven’t had a lot of money and Dagi’s been, like, super focused on Equestrian magic or whatever lately.” She pouted, and her cheery expression fell.
Usually she would try visiting her seahorse friend at the local aquarium every two weeks or so, but she and her sisters had been struggling to make ends meet for a couple months now, and it didn’t help that Adagio - the only one who could really give Sonata the money she needed for a ticket - was so focused on Canterlot High and figuring out the burst of Equestrian magic they’d seen that she’d barely spared any sort of attention to anything that didn’t relate. So it was that Sonata hadn’t been to the aquarium for a good ten weeks now, and it was only when she had begged and pleaded Adagio for the money to buy a ticket, tears in her eyes and genuine hurt in her voice that the leader of the Dazzlings had relented. Adagio Dazzle may not have been certain what it was about the aquarium that could foster such a strong emotional reaction in her typically upbeat younger sibling, but she knew enough to know Sonata cared. Even if she seemed like it at times, Adagio wasn’t heartless.
Sonata sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. “I wish I could be in there with you sometimes, little guy.”
When she opened her eyes, she realized she had unconsciously started trying to push her hand and face harder against the glass, as if somehow, if she managed to push hard enough, she could go through it. Instantly, her already melancholic features fell into something which could only be likened to quiet despair. A bead began to form at the edge of her vision, and she sniffled, quickly brushing it off from her cheek, trying to get rid of it as much as she wanted to be rid of her emotions. Feebly, she smiled, and though a part of it was earnest, much of it felt stilted, and carried with it a deep feeling of heartache.
“Heh. I guess now that I think about it …” She paused, closed her eyes again, and pressed her forehead to the glass, the rest of her face leaning away. Her voice lowered to almost a whisper, faint and ghostly. “You’re just as trapped as I am, huh?”
Not just like me, Sonata thought. Dagi and Ari too.
She stood, re-adjusted herself, and opened her eyes with a deep and exhausted exhale that seemed to take out of her lungs as much life as it did the painful, aching weight in her chest. When she looked to the tank again, the seahorse had gone.
_______________________________________________________
"Ugh. That job takes the god damn life outta me ... Hey brat, how you doin'?" A gruff voice spoke from the doorway to the three siren sisters' home, belonging to a pink-skinned girl with purple twin-tails. When she didn't get a response, she closed the door behind her, put her jacket up on the coat hanger beside it, and called out again.
"Hey, 'nata! I'm home!" Aria yelled.
Silence.
That was very strange, Aria thought. Usually by the time the door opened, sometimes by the time it made a sound from her or Adagio unlocking it from the other side, she'd either come barreling down the stairs to greet them with a broad smile and wide arms, or she'd already be there bouncing excitedly up and down like a hyperactive tween. To not hear even so much as a peep from her little sister was not only strange, but quite frankly a little disconcerting. It had happened some times in the past millennia or two they'd been stuck on this Celestia-forsaken rock populated by hairless monkeys, but it was rare enough that when it happened it wasn't something to be so blithely brushed off.
Aria Blaze walked forward, lips pursed and a pensive, concerned look on her face that mostly served to make her look mildly annoyed. She surmised it was possible Sonata simply wasn't home yet, as it wasn't unusual that she'd be out on the town gorging herself on tacos, sushi, or both at the same time - a food combination the thought of which made the middle Dazzling shudder - but there was something in the air that felt off. She knew by nothing more than sisterly instinct and intuition that Sonata was home, and it could also have been that she had simply fallen asleep, but something just didn't feel right to her. It was only then, passing by the couch, that she found her.
The slender bluenette laid on the couch, staring forward at blank TV screen in front of her, lying on her side with her knees pulled up and arms around one of her plushies - this one a shark, which she dubbed 'McTootherson' - squeezing so tight that Aria could see her tensed muscles. She made no sound, but her chest still rose and fell with inaudible breaths in and out, and her eyes were puffy and red like she'd been crying for some time before Aria had returned, but no tears stained her cheeks.
"Uhhh. Shit. You alright, 'nata?" Aria queried. She was never very good with words. The strongest of the group and the most aggressive of attitude, she always served as the brawn when it came to Dazzling operations. Adagio was the brains, and Sonata was ... well, Sonata. If nothing else she at least served as a decent enough distraction by looking - and in many ways being - so innocent and adorable most didn't suspect a thing. At least when she didn't blow her own or the whole group's cover by running her mouth.
"No." Came the reply. It was plain, simple, and curt, her voice strained and a little bit croaky. Aria gave a deep, long sigh and walked around to Sonata's side of the couch, plopping herself down next to the curled up siren. At first she started to reach out to rest her hand on the girl's knee, but hesitated and stopped just short of doing so, pulling back to rest against her side.
"I know I'm not usually the best for talking out this kinda shit, you know me. I'm a cunt most of the time. But seriously. What's up? You looked even happier than usual today when I left for work."
A few awkward moments of silence followed, as Sonata continued to breathe in and out, saying nothing. Eventually, after enough time had passed that Aria started opening her mouth to say something more, Sonata inhaled sharply, stopped mid-way ...
"I miss home." Came the reply. It was faint. So quiet Aria could barely make it out over the silence of the house.
"You what?"
"I miss home." Sonata stated again, loud enough this time that Aria could be certain of what she heard. The response was another heavy sigh from her older sibling, who hunched over and cupped her hand over her face looking down to the carpet floor of their living room. At first, given her tone and general attitude, Sonata expected her to say something along the lines of either 'Yeah, well, we're not getting back there so don't fuckin' worry about it.' or an even more dismissive 'And?', but the reaction she received was not at all what she had anticipated.
"I do too." Aria mumbled.
That shook the forlorn Dazzling enough to break out of her daze and look up to her sister, her features etched with the clear mark of surprise.
"You do?"
Aria just nodded and leaned back into the couch with an affirmative 'Mhm.'
"You don't act like it ..." Sonata mumbled. Initially the comment irritated Aria, enough that she was tempted to throw out some sort of venomous retort back to her, but she bit her tongue and held it back. Sonata was already in a bad enough state as it was and she certainly didn't need her older sibling's usual bitchiness to make it any worse. Besides, Aria thought, she's not wrong.
"I kinda try not to, to be honest. We already have more than enough horseshit to deal with on a daily fuckin' basis let alone weekly, monthly, generationally ..." Aria gestured with a hand, uncupping her face from the other. "You get the point. I don't wanna add more to that list."
Sonata nodded in response, and slowly moved from her fetal position to sitting cross-legged on the couch cushions. The shark plush now sat within her lap which she looked down at and casually stroked the back of. Aria snorted at the sight. While the youngest of the sirens might have been a little childish at times, even after all these years and after everything two entire worlds had thrown at them, it was at times like these she found it not only endearing, but found herself a little envious. Aria wasn't stupid, of course, and neither was Adagio - both of them knew that the blue-haired she-devil was more than capable on her own and was far from being as stupid as she acted and sounded at times, but she had a way of thinking a little more simplistic than most, able to focus more easily on the good things in life rather than dwell on the anxieties and the fears.
"Remember when we were, like, really really little, and my teeth hadn't, like ... grown in sharp enough to crack open oysters yet, so you showed me how so I didn't have to keep chasing after minnows all the time?" Sonata asked.
The memory brought a smile to Aria face, a rarity for her, but all the same a pang of nostalgia that made her chest hurt came along with it. She chuckled, and snorted her amusement at the recollection. "Yeah, I do."
Another pregnant pause came as neither of them knew what to say or how to continue. Aria was content to sit there in silence for however long Sonata needed, though, so it didn't much bother her. Still, the quiet couldn't last forever, and it was eventually broken with a question that now caught Aria off guard instead.
"Does Dagi miss home too?"
"Uh ..." Aria was at a loss for what to say for a moment. She knew the answer, but she didn't know at all how to relay it in that time. Adagio and Aria had never really talked about it, at least no explicitly, but sirens being naturally sociable and emotionally intelligent creatures, she was able to pick up on the hints and the signs their leader gave off. It didn't matter if Adagio never said it out loud, because the actions and the remarks she made to Aria in private were louder than words could ever speak. Finally, Aria managed to grasp at the straw needed to give her response.
"Yeah." Aria said. "She does. A lot, actually. More than me I think. Dunno if she misses it more than you because, well, I don't actually know how much you miss it, but I'd wager she probably still does."
"She doesn't really act like it either." Sonata spoke back.
"Nah, she does. You just gotta know the signs, or be around her enough to pick up on 'em. Frankly I'd imagine she probably doesn't show it around you for the same reason I don't. No reason to burden ourselves any more than we already fuckin' are."
"Mmh ..."
"You know how she's been super fucking obsessed with this Equestrian magic junk lately? I mean, like, sure, I'm invested in it too, but I think for her, anyway, it, uh, it's more than just the power. I don't think it's even the power at all she's interested in, frankly."
"What is it then?" Sonata inquired.
"I think she thinks it can get us home." Aria stated bluntly.
"Do you?"
"No, not really. Maybe I'm just a downer asshole. Probably am. But no, I don't."
"Why not?" Sonata asked, genuinely curious. By now she'd perked up enough from the back and forth that she no longer sat as rigid as she had, and now resorted to just holding her plushie rather than stroking it, wanting to put more focus onto the topic at hand than petting some stuffed animal.
"Just don't." Aria shrugged. "Either somethin' fucked is gonna happen and we'll get assblasted out of the sky again like that bearded fuck did, again, or Adagio is just wrong and it's just some magic that leaked through instead of being brought here or something."
A hush blanketed the room yet again, but especially over Sonata. Serious topics of conversation like this tended to go one of two ways: either with ebbs of talking and flows of silence or tension, or non-stop argument and shouting. So far it was the former, and although the pauses which punctuated their more extended periods of chatting were uncomfortable to say the very least, she was thankful it hadn't gone the other route.
In the quiet, Sonata thought. Initially about the potential of finally seeing home for the first time in ...
Longer than you lived there in the first place, Sonata realized, a thought which caused her throat to tighten and made her want to choke. We've been here longer than we lived there.
"Hey. You okay?" Aria asked, sensing the growing unease in her sister, finally allowing that hand to rest itself on her knees. The only thing she got in response was a wordless shake of the head and a shaky, rattling inhale.
Thoughts and memories came flooding back to her in that instant. She remembered the hatchery they were born in and the stunningly gorgeous coral reefs around them. She remembered how the light of Celestia's sun pierced through the waves and made everything underneath the ocean's surface look as if it were glowing. She remembered the brilliantly colored fish and shellfish and turtles and dolphins which dwelled within it. She remembered swimming beyond the reef for the first time with the guidance of Adagio and the protection of Aria. She remembered how scared she was, and how hesitant she had been to step fin out of her sanctuary.
She remembered Adagio's soothing words and Aria's affirmations of protection. Even though the two older sisters were still incredibly young, still just children, their roles in the group had already been set even before Sonata had hatched a few weeks after them. For all the fights and arguments they got into, for all the angry shouting and disagreements and long periods in which they refused to talk to one another they were still, and always would be family.
She remembered not just swimming outside the reef for the first time, either, but swimming itself. She remembered how the water rushed against her shiny blue scales, how the current made her fins tickle and spines waver in the ocean's equivalent of the wind. She remembered so, so much about home, so many memories from so long ago that she had either forgotten or rarely thought about.
It was just too much. They kept piling on like excess water against a dam. More and more came rushing back. The first time she explored a kelp forest. The first time she went beyond the reef on her own. The first time she went hunting. The first time she breached the waves with her sisters. Again, and again, and again they battered against the stonewalled dam inside her mind that kept her emotions in check.
The cracks began to form, and her breath hitched. They spiderwebbed, faster and faster until she couldn't keep track of them anymore, and eventually the pressure simply became to much. The feeling of painful tightness in her chest clenched down like a vice grip, and the force pushing out from behind it slammed so hard she felt dizzy. Her heart felt like it was going to collapse in on itself as much as it was going to explode.
The dam finally broke, and Sonata Dusk, the happiest and most optimistic of them - arguably the best of them - let out a mournful wail. So many emotions were carried through in that desperate scream. Sadness for her old home. Mourning the thought that she would likely never see it again. Regret that she hadn't appreciated it and done more while she had it, and for the decisions that led to their banishment. Anger and rage at the one who devised their punishment. Horror at the fact they had lived on Earth longer than they had along the coasts of Equestria.
When she finished, she broke down into hysterics. Aria was struck in place, utterly unsure of what to do. She was always the blunt one. The rude one. She wasn't the one who was supposed to deal with this kind of shit. That was Adagio's job, not hers.
But she was the only one there. She was the only one who could comfort her sister, and the pain in her own chest mounted as she saw Sonata in such a miserable way. Tentatively, she moved over to the side, and she'd barely even been able to open her arms before Sonata crashed into her and buried her face into her shoulder, crying so hard her lungs hurt from the breath she needed to take in to keep up with how violently she was expelling it out.
Aria held her there for a while. She wasn't certain for how long it was, nor did she really care. The only thing she cared about in that moment was making sure her little sister was alright.
When Sonata recovered and pulled back, she looked even more horrible than she had when Aria came in. The front of her hair was frayed and frazzled from pushing up against her sister's shoulder. Her eyes were bloodshot. Tears yet still streamed down her face and over her cheeks, and she had cried so much that they stung from the salt against her skin.
"H-hi ..." When Sonata managed to find words, her hitching chest continued to interfere with her speech. "I-I'm sorry, Ari ..."
"Don't be." Aria replied. "We're family. I'm family. We're supposed to help each other, yeah?"
Sonata nodded weakly.
"Good. Now come here. Let's get you cleaned up, 'kay? You look like an octopus just got done trying to give you a makeover."
Sonata giggled at the comment, a little life returning back to her fuschia gaze. She nodded again, and Aria pulled her in for a squeezing hug so tight she couldn't breathe. Shakily, the bluenette stood to her feet, wiped away any stray tears with her sleeve, and walked over to the bathroom.
Home was a long, long ways away from her reach. A whole universe, a reality of difference between them. But maybe, Sonata hoped, Adagio is right. And Equestrian magic can get us back there.
She could only hope for the best.
