“What happens when we die?”

by CitreneSkys

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 1051

This story is not as philosophical as it sounds.

What happens when we die?

Scratch that.

What can we do after we die?

Published 2021-08-14 20:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-14 20:30:00 UTC

“What happens when we die?”

“What happens when we die?” Mellow wondered aloud.

“…what prompted this?” A griffon walked towards her, sitting down and curling up beside her. She was a friend of Mellow Spirit’s, though not a very close one. At max, she knew the griffon about five days since she started school — Gira, if she remembered correctly.

“Dunno.” The unicorn levitated her sandwich that she had packed, staring blankly as she unwrapped it. “It’s just, some creatures say that there is life after death. Others say there is nothing after death. There is a bunch of theories, but I just want to know what actually happens.”

“I mean, can’t find out until you die,” Gira retorted. Her feather fluffed out, thinking. “If you were a ghost, what would you do? Scary fledglings? Haunted houses?”

“I wanna be a bastard.”

Gira blinked at Mellow’s blunt answer. When the unicorn stayed quiet, the griffon decided to press the pony for a few more words. “Elaborate, my dear friend.” She smiled.

“Like, being scary is fine and whatever.” Mellow took a moment to bite into her lunch. She chewed and swallowed before continuing. “But what I’d do is haunt people and inconvenience their life. Put too much pepper in their pasta, trip them every now and then, hiding things, all that stuff.”

“Dude, you’d be the most annoying ghost ever,” Gira laughed. She rubbed her talons together. “I like it!”

Mellow giggled. “Oh! If creatures want to talk to me by Ouija board or spirit box, I would just quote the stupidest thing ever. ‘Oh spirit, who are thy?’ ‘Your mom!’”

The orange-tinted griffon punched the unicorn’s shoulder playfully. “That’s an old joke.”

“Which adds to the cringe!”

Gira stifled a laugh. “If I were a ghost, I would catch up on whatever new media is circling around. New books, theater productions, all that good stuff. I have the rest of time to catch up on my readings!”

“Saaaame!” Mellow drew her voice out to exaggerate her words. “To add to my bastardization-character-arc, if creatures tried to talk to me, I would just spoil the ending of their favorite books! ‘Haha, by the way, did you know that Aang died?’”

“Wait, he did?”

Mellow pursed her lips. “-it’s an example,” she brushed off. “As a ghost, you could do anything you wanted. Jump off a cliff! You won’t die because you are already dead!”

“You could also travel outside of our galaxies,” a new voice spoke up. Looking up, Mellow Spirit saw another griffon, similar looking to Gira, approach. He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, I could help but overhear.”

“Oh no, that’s fine!” Gira invited, gesturing the other griffon to sit down. She then turned to the unicorn. “Mellow, this is my brother, Gezi.”

“Nice to meet you!” the unicorn greeted, taking another bite of the sandwich while she was at it. She was by no means a graceful eater, but luckily that didn’t deter the new griffon away.

Gezi nodded. “Yeah. As a ghost, you could travel to all the stars, even the moon! Usually, that would take many spells and years to do, but when you’re dead—poof!—freedom!”

“Dude, that would be awesome!” Gira had sparkles in her eyes. “You could travel to Mars!”

Mellow lidded her eyes. “‘Mars’ is just a fairy tale, Gira. There is no red planet—not in our solar system, anyway.”

The orange griffon pouted. “Ya girl can dream!”

Stifling a giggle, the unicorn thought about the possibility of exposing the night sky. It sounded so quiet and peaceful, yet still filled with adventure! However…

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t want to get lost. If you do—whoops! Guess you ain’t coming back.”

“That’s true,” Gezi remarked. His wings flapped at his sides as he tried to think of a different topic. “What else could you do as a ghost?”

“I would probably show up at a schizophrenic’s house and start messing around, “ Gira admitted, tapping her talons together. “Throw things, write on the wall, just some fun ghost shenanigans.”

“Oh jeez, you’d be their worst nightmare!” Mellow breathed, thinking of new possibilities.

Gezi seemed less impressed. “You are a bad person.”

“I know. It’s just who I am,” his sister stretched out dramatically. She flipped onto her back, her wings fluttering. “Anything else could we do?”

“Better question,” Mellow piped, “if you die with clothes on, do you have to wear them when you become a ghost?”

“Imagine wearing a funny fedora and a frilly skirt, and then you died,” Gira snickered. “Then imagine wearing that for the rest of your afterlife!”

“I probably resign myself from ‘ghost duties’,” Gezi laughed. “I ain’t gonna go ‘round this ‘er block wit’ no fedora and skirt!” he said, his accent going southern. Or, at least Mellow thought it sounded like a southern accent.

“Imagine a ghost clothing store,” Gira murmured. “Or even ghost ads. ‘Didn’t like the clothes you died with? Work at your new ghost job, get yourself some ghost money, and be sure to stop by your local Ghost Gap and try on all our stuff! It’ll probably be out of your price range, but if work your nine-to-five shift and maybe, just maybe, you can buy some clothes, too!’”

The trio laughed. “Celestia, if ghost capitalism is a thing, I’m going to make a ghost riot and overrule the ghost government!” Mellow Spirit laughed.

“Hell yeah!” Gira had put on the utmost evil face, raising her fist to the air. “Down with ghost monarchy! Embrace spirit communism!”

Gezi sighed while Mellow rolled her eyes playfully, but they both said the same thing, “No.”

“You guys are no fun!” Gira pouted. The griffons and unicorn looked at each other for a short few seconds before bursting into laughter

“You’re all so dumb!” Gezi exclaimed, clutching his ribs.

“Shut it! You decided to join us, bucko!” his sister nudged him hard. “You’re already on the Hearth’s Warming Card!”

“Noooo! Spare me!” he cried, getting tackled by Gira. Mellow watched from the sidelines, having way too much fun.

“I already love you guys,” she laughed.

Author's Note

August 13, 2021

Literally wrote this in one night. Based on my stupid ghost conversations with my friends as school.

We all stupid :D