Chapters 1: The Unlikeliest of Action Heroes
Twilight Sparkle awoke with a start, eyes flitting back and forth. A noise, then, had disturbed her? There was light beyond her eyelid, yet it was weak and she still felt tired. Not morning then. She waited for a moment, half-alert, before deciding she’d been startled by something in a dream. Then, as she was about to snuggle deeper into her pillow, she heard a voice from her bedroom door.
“Um, Twilight?”
Oh , Twilight thought. It’s merely Fluttershy…
Twilight sat upright in her bed, staring bleary-eyed at the door forced ajar by the pony peeking into her bedroom. “Fluttershy? You’re back?”
The pony at the door was indeed Fluttershy, and responded with a smile and a nod before speaking. “I’m sorry I woke you up, but I need to ask… Oh my.” The last was in response to Twilight yawning and stretching hard enough to make her jaw creak and her back pop.
“Sorry, Fluttershy. What did you need?”
“Um… I brought back some friends that needed a new place to stay. I hope you don’t mind if I lead them to the woods near my cottage..?”
Twilight considered this for a moment, trying to dispel the drowsiness she felt. “You brought animals through the portal?”
“Um.” Fluttershy tilted her head in thought. “...Yes?”
The two ponies presented a silent tableau for several heartbeats before Twilight blinked and chuckled. “Sorry, I’m still sleepy.” She glanced over at the end table beside her bed and read the face of the clock sitting on top of it. “It’s… Oh my, a little before four in the morning.” Twilight sighed. “make sure they don’t cause a disruption in town, okay? I’ll come by sometime tomorrow… today? After sunrise.” She smiled at Fluttershy. “Then I’d love to hear how your vacation was.”
Fluttershy looked unsure for a moment, before smiling once again and nodding at Twilight. “I’ll see you later. Sleep well.” She backed out of the doorway and closed the door without waiting for a response from Twilight.
More than happy to go back to sleep, Twilight groaned and threw herself backwards into Luna’s realm. She was snoring mere seconds later, and in deep sleep by the time sounds of hooves and slithering emanated from outside the bedroom door.
Later that morning saw five friends trotting up the woodland path, heading towards the remote tree cottage outside Ponyville that Fluttershy called home. Joyful banter filled the air whenever the constant birdsong and other animal calls failed to overpower it. At least, until Twilight, in the lead, stopped and shushed.
“Girls, it’s best if we keep quiet for the rest of the journey. Based on Fluttershy returning in the middle of the night, it’s likely that the days where she was aren’t in sync with ours. She’s probably sleeping right now, so we should be gentle when we wake her up. Rainbow Dash, do you have any suggestions?”
Dash was flying, as always, about two pony-heights above her earthbound friends. She saluted Twilight before uttering: “Leave it to me!” Next moment she was already a streak heading towards the loft window of Fluttershy’s cottage. She ended up hovering right in front of it, and she extended a hoof to tap on a windowpane.
Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie and Applejack watched Dash while they completed their own approach to the cottage. Right about as Twilight reached the cottage’s front door, Dash seemed to perk up before waving at something through the window. Then she landed next to Twilight and said: “Flutters is awake and will be greeting us in a bit.”
Twilight smiled. “Thanks, Rainbow Dash.” Then she grinned and pranced in place. “I can’t wait to hear how her vacation was!”
Rarity nodded. “I am as curious as you! I can’t believe that out of us all, it was our dear Fluttershy who managed to stay away for the longest time!”
“Hey!” Dash seemed to take issue with this. “I’d still be chilling on a beach with the wonderbolts of that world, but duty calls, and all that!”
Applejack, who’d moved to Dash’s side opposite Twilight, raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Didn’t you say you were being chased by the local guard and had to flee through the portal..?” This caused Twilight’s head to snap towards Rainbow Dash, eyes wide and both eyebrows raised.
Dash aimed a sheepish grin at Twilight. Then she retreated a bit and growled at Applejack over Twilight’s back. “Ixnay on the ardguay!” Then she went back to grinning at Twilight, who by then had adopted a perfect deadpan expression.
“Rainbow Dash, that code is decipherable on the fly by four-year-olds. It seems you left out a couple details when I asked you to write down your vacation through the portal for me. Am I going to have to re-label that particular dimension as hostile now?”
Dash sputtered for a moment before throwing open her wings in a shrug while rolling her eyes. “There was a little misunderstanding about teaching the local Rainbow Dash how to perform a Sonic Rainboom. Above a public beach resort. That’s all! I’m sure they’ve already forgotten about it due to how awesome we Dashes are.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “So… it was still good?”
“Oh yeah!” Dash laughed. “I asked you to find the awesomest, most radical world out there and you pulled through! We went racing in rocket-powered airships! It was great!”
“How about the rest of you girls?” Twilight turned around and let her eyes wander between Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Rarity. All three assured Twilight, in their own manners, that their respective vacations were great. Rarity seized initiative when the general group chatter died down.
“It was absolutely divine! Four days of all the fashion in an entire world!” She swept her head in a wide arc, making her mane flutter. “I have inspiration enough for at least five seasons!”
Applejack opened her muzzle, but Pinkie seemed to fire off a sentence without breathing in. “The Positively Pinkietastic Partycracy of Pinkietron Alpha says ‘hi and thanks for letting your Pinkie Unit’—that’s me—’come stay at our dimension!’ They were so happy that they promised not to assimilate you even a little bit if you wanted to come visit, which they said you totally should! They’re baking cookies!”
Applejack waited a moment to see if Pinkie had more to add. Then she sighed. “It was… great. Really great. Thanks again, Twilight.”
“I’m happy; I wanted to give you all the best vacations I could.” Twilight was still smiling when she heard the door behind her open. She turned around and nodded in greeting to Fluttershy. Then she shrieked and shot into the air fast enough to rival Rainbow Dash. This caused a variety of reactions in her friends. Rainbow Dash and Applejack adopted wide stances and looked around. Rarity and Pinkie Pie ogled Twilight where she was hovering. Fluttershy ducked away from the closing door and left only a narrow slit to peek out of. This tableau held until Twilight pointed a shaking hoof at Fluttershy.
“Sorry! Sorry—but you know how I don’t like snakes!”
That drew the attention to Fluttershy and the three things slithering through her mane. She herself almost went cross-eyed trying to look at one dangling off her forehead. She gasped in apparent realization.
“Oh! I’m sorry, I can see how you could mistake—no, Twilight, these aren’t snakes!” She aimed a sheepish smile at the five ponies outside her door. “Um, just a minute please, girls?” Then she backed away from the door, shutting it so fast she almost hit her own muzzle.
Twilight landed awkwardly, rustling her wings folded while exchanging glances with her friends. Fluttershy’s gentle but exasperated voice emerged from inside the cottage, though muffled to incomprehensibility by the door, interspersed by shuffling sounds. Then there was the unmistakable sound of hooves on stairs. A couple heartbeats after that the door reopened, fully this time, and Fluttershy beckoned her friends to enter.
As Twilight entered, she stared at Fluttershy. Twilight had last seen an expression like Fluttershy's while helping with Rarity’s cat’s medical exam. It was the resigned but determined expression of one who expected discomfort (or scratches) in their future. Fluttershy was definitely steeling herself for something as she bade her friends sit in her living room. She took a deep breath and held it for a while before speaking.
“Girls, I’m sure you are here to ask me about my vacation. Well, I had a wonderful time. The other world was exactly what I had asked Twilight to find; a pristine wilderness.” Fluttershy bit her lip, averted her eyes and tapped the tip of her right hoof in a nervous tattoo against the floor. “Well, almost pristine.”
Twilight looked stricken. “I’m sorry! All my scrying showed nothing but wilderness! Are you saying there was some kind of civilization there?”
“Not quite. There had been a civilization there, but nothing now except ruins. Oh, except for the tower of Sombra, with his disembodied eye at the top…”
All at once, in perfect unison, five ponies flew up from their various couches and chairs to shout “Sombra?!? ” Fluttershy nodded.
“Yes. But I managed to, um, topple it. With help from some friends I made there. By... throwing his Crystal of Incorporeality into Mount Canter. Which, um, was a volcano there. So he’s, um, gone.”
This was met with stunned silence. Then Rainbow Dash slapped her forehooves onto her thighs and groaned. “Fluttershy had a more awesome vacation than I did! This can’t be happening!” General laughter erupted while Fluttershy blushed and hid behind her mane. Once the general joviality died down she cleared her throat.
“Um, it was very scary, but he had cursed all of Equestria, making it fall into ruin about a thousand years ago, and I had to save my friends. But when we did it, and his tower collapsed, Mount Canter erupted!” Fluttershy shivered. “Volcanoes are scary! The molten rock was rushing towards us so fast, so I told my friends to follow me through the portal! And… Here I am. Here we are.”
Twilight beamed at Fluttershy while her friends cheered and congratulated her. When the cottage was calm again she spoke. “That’s why you said you had animal friends with you when you came through the portal. I can understand why you’d want them to have a new home if a volcano destroyed their old one. Normally, I’d speak against bringing creatures from other dimensions through the portal like this for any length of time, but I’m sure you’ll take good care of them and make sure they will fit right in. Even if they are snakes.”
“Oh!” Fluttershy turned sheepish again. “Um, like I said, they aren’t snakes. Also, there are a few things you should be aware of.” There was a pause while she gathered courage. When she continued speaking, it was with a much firmer tone. “I need to tell you that while my friends will seem, um, startling to you, they are harmless as long as you don’t do something silly. One of my new friends is upstairs, and if you are ready to meet her then I would like to call her down.”
The five ponies in front of Fluttershy looked at each other, not entirely without trepidation. They knew Fluttershy defined grizzly bears as harmless using the same metric. They all still nodded. It was with a hopeful smile that Fluttershy turned towards the stairs up to her loft.
“Come down, Twilight!”
This, naturally, confused Twilight sitting on the couch in the middle of her friends. She was about to raise a hoof and question Fluttershy when she heard hoofsteps from the loft and a pony came into view on top of the stairs. Or, at least, at first glance it looked like a pony; like Twilight Sparkle herself even. There were some major differences not apparent at first glance. The Twilight on the stairs had much fuzzier fur, almost to the point of being unkempt. Then, where the Twilight sitting on the sofa had a well-brushed tail of hair, the Twilight on the stairs dragged a much longer and heavier lizard tail behind her, complete with purple scales. The tail was frilled on the top by a row of short and bristly hairs the same colour and pattern as couch-Twilight’s tail, but repeating the pattern many times. The pony on the stairs had a horn but lacked any wings.
Couch-Twilight’s eyes grew ever larger as she took in the smaller differences between her and Stair-Twilight. There was no cutie mark adorning the hips of Stair-Twilight. Instead, on the temples, right behind both eyes, was a reddish image of half of a six-pointed star; one half to each temple, surrounded by five smaller stars; two to the left and three to the right.
Stair-Twilight stopped half-way down the stairs, and that was when Couch-Twilight saw the final difference between them. Stair-Twilight opened her mouth, but instead of a normal jaw, the lower part of her mouth split into two, opening her mouth into three parts. And out of the mouth came three long, snake-like tongues that waved, as if in greeting.
Fluttershy grinned hopefully as she turned back to her unmoving, wide-eyed friends lounging in her living room. “This is Twilight Sparkle, the Tatzlpony. Tatzl-Twilight, these are my friends in my own world, including your counterpart, Twilight Sparkle the Pony.”
Couch-Twilight’s brain decided to take a break right about then, and she fainted with a weak groan about snakes.
Author's Note
The tatzlpony is a magical creature; a hybrid featuring equine, reptilian, annelid and even some unique traits not found in any other creature. It most closely resembles a pony, and can easily pass for one, especially in bad lighting conditions. There are too few tatzlponies to confirm, but it is believed that they can come in all the same colors and combinations of colors as common ponies feature. Adult tatzlponies are on average slightly larger than a pony, but they also have a narrower range of sizes than ponies do. The very young tatzlpony foals, however, are considerably smaller than newborn pony foals, only about a hoof from head to tail.
Two main features can distinguish the tatzl from a common pony: their thicker, frilled tail covered with scales, and the eye markings, unique for every individual. Closer inspection will also reveal their tripartite maw, and if all else is inconclusive then an active tatzlpony is finally revealed by the trio of tentacular tongues that it uses in nearly every kind of interaction with its surroundings.
-Excerpt from "The Tatzlpony"
2: Funhouse Mirrors and Mad Scientists
Twilight next awoke to general chatter. She opened her eyes and found herself lying on Rarity’s fainting couch in the middle of Fluttershy’s cottage. This immediately irritated her orderly nature with its redundancy. Fluttershy's own couch was currently unused, as all her friends clustered around… Twilight's counterpart from another dimension. Right . Couch-Twilight’s still-groggy mind had shuffled her list of priorities. Gripe about couches later.
Pinkie Pie’s head emerged from the general cluster of ponies like an opening Jack-in-the-box. “Girls! Couch Twilight is awake again!” She raced to (couch-) Twilight’s side, peering down at her with a wide grin. Behind Pinkie, the others also broke up their cluster, Applejack staring at the back of Pinkie’s head and mouthing something in disbelief. Twilight noted all of this, but the majority of her focus was still centered on her distorted mirror image standing in the middle of Fluttershy's cottage. The tatzlpony looked back at Twilight. Three tentacles drooped out of her tripartite maw and curled around themselves in a nervous tic.
Fluttershy stepped between them, locking Twilight’s eyes with her own compassionate gaze. “Twilight, I know she seems scary to you, but I promise she’s perfectly gentle. She’s also curious about you.” Three tentacles snaked their way into Fluttershy’s hair from behind. Tatzl Twilight (Tatzlight? Twilight mused in the idle manner of the stunned) peeked at Twilight over Fluttershy’s head. Fluttershy’s ear flicked and she giggled before continuing. “Tatzlponies are extremely touchy-feely and use their tongues to investigate their surroundings. Do you think you could let her examine you up close? She’s been looking forward to meeting you.”
Twilight eyed those snaking tentacles with great trepidation for a moment. Then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. All I have to do is stop thinking about them as snake-like. They’re tongues. They’re tentacle-like tongues… which I admit isn’t that much better. She huffed and opened her eyes. “All right. I, I too am curious about her.” She wriggled until her hooves landed on the floor of the cottage, allowing her to tilt into standing. Fluttershy, meanwhile, stepped to the side with a smile, giving Tatzlight a clear route to Twilight. She still admonished Tatzlight as the tatzlpony passed her. “Be nice. And no swallowing anypony yet, okay?”
This made Tatzlight freeze, while everypony except Fluttershy backed away from her in surprise. Rarity raised her eyebrow and peered at Fluttershy. “What was that about swallowing ponies , dear?”
“Oh.” Fluttershy once again assumed a sheepish expression. “It’s complicated. I’ll show you in a while. It’s not what you think. Go on, Twilight. I know you’re curious.”
There was a moment’s hesitation as both Twilights looked to Fluttershy, trying to verify which of them she was talking to. Then they locked eyes and approached each other. Up close, Twilight noted that Tatzlight had a dry, earthen scent around her. Tatzlight’s fur was longer and shaggier than Twilight’s, and her mane was likewise more unkempt. There was definite intelligence in her eyes, and a feral curiosity. Tatzlight’s maw was opened, and Twilight gulped but held her ground as one of the tongues reached out to boop her on the nose. This made Twilight giggle, which seemed to serve as an icebreaker. Soon the two, Twilight and Tatzlight, were circling each other. Twilight was poking Tatzlight’s thick and scaly tail. Meanwhile Tatzlight was running her tongues over Twilight’s left wing, tugging on it so she could see it unfold. The others crowded around, equally curious. Twilight's excitement and curiosity increased by every second.
“This is amazing! She seems to be a hybrid of pony and tatzlwurm! That the traits of these two creatures are mixed rather than blended would hint at a possible magical origin, much like the chimera!”
Fluttershy nodded. “I did mention they are the result of a curse on Ponykind, yes.”
“You did, yes! But if the curse was still active, Tatzlight here would’ve reverted back to being a unicorn when you defeated that world’s Sombra. The curse might have naturalized over the millennium, again much like chimeras! Fluttershy, do you think I could bring her to the castle? I’ve set up my science lab in the basement, and getting readings on another chimeric creature could be vital to the advancement of our knowledge of magic!”
The question made Fluttershy pause. “Um, Twilight? Um, that is, not you, but you ”—she indicated Tatzlight—”would you like to go with pony Twilight here for a bit?”
Tatzlight shook her head and emitted a trilling chirp followed by the words “home, rest” in perfect imitation of Fluttershy’s voice. Fluttershy noted the others’ looks of surprise and explained.
“Twilight—I’m sorry, this is getting confusing. Can I call you Tatzlight? Thank you—Tatzlight here can imitate almost any sound she’s heard. She doesn’t speak any language of her own, but there are some bird-like calls she uses. She has also picked up the meanings of many words I’ve said and started using them. And I’m sorry, Twilight, but she wants to return to her nesting place to rest. You can ask her again tomorrow, though.”
“Oh, that’s alright. Science should not be rushed, and I’ll get better results from an unstressed specimen.” Twilight paused, wondering why her friends were staring at her so. “Anyway, if Tatzlight doesn’t mind then I’d like to see her nesting place?”
Fluttershy’s ears folded down. “Um, I’m not sure that is such a good idea.”
Applejack spoke before Twilight could. “Huh, why not? Is she territorial?”
“No, not at all.” Fluttershy shook her head in accompaniment to her words. “I haven’t had the time to explain to the others… um… and prepare them for meeting you all.”
This was met with several seconds of silence. Then Rarity spoke. “The others? ”
“Um. Yes. The other tatzlponies I brought through the portal.”
Another pause. This time, Twilight spoke. “How many did you bring?”
“Eleven, in total. Or twelve. Thirteen? They can be difficult to—” A pink blur cannoned into Fluttershy.
Once the ponies’ eyes caught up, they saw Pinkie Pie standing above Fluttershy, who was prone on her back. Pinkie was staring at Fluttershy, and vibrating enough to blur her outline. “You brought eleven, twelve or thirteen new friends to Ponyville?!? ”
Fluttershy put a hoof to Pinkie’s chest, and a pressure that everyone had failed to notice in their ears eased. “Pinkie, these friends of mine are very shy right now. No parties!”
Pinkie backed away slowly while complaining. “But… but… but…” She sat down in front of Fluttershy and whined like a puppy. “Can I at least go and greet them?”
“Yes, but—” Fluttershy grunted as she picked herself up from where Pinkie had tackled her. “—there are a couple things you all should know.”
Everybody else (except for Tatzlight. She was lost rummaging through Twilight’s mane with her tongues.) gathered in a semi-circle, looking attentively at Fluttershy. Twilight spoke. “We’re all ears, Fluttershy!”
With another deep breath, Fluttershy started her lecture.
“Tatzlwurms are monstrous burrowing annelids, and tatzlponies share many of their traits. But there are a couple big differences. You know that Tatzlwurms try to engulf their prey… but tatzlponies engulf for social reasons. I want to be clear here: you can expect the other tatzlponies to try to swallow you. It’s their way of… of saying ‘hi’, of being curious, of hugging, of saying you’re their friend… they do a lot by swallowing items or ponies. It’s completely harmless, and they will let you out shortly, but it can be disconcerting at first. Tatzlight here is very obedient, and I was able to convince her not to swallow any of you until I told her it was okay. But the others have different personalities and will attempt to swallow you without asking permission. The easiest choice is to let them; the second easiest choice is not to visit any tatzlponies.”
She became stern and stomped her hoof for emphasis. “You will not fight any tatzlpony trying to swallow you! They are being nice to you and shouldn’t have to suffer for that! So I repeat, only follow me and Tatzlight if you are prepared to let them engulf you for a while!”
Hooves were raised in question. Fluttershy hesitated before nodding to Rarity.
“Dear, is there no polite way to decline being swallowed? I fear for my coiffure…”
“No, sorry. I can say that you’re right to worry about your hairdo, as the stomach of a tatzlpony is a bit moist. I’d suggest wearing a shower cap. Applejack, you have a question?”
“Thanks, sugarcube. How do we let ‘em know we want out?”
“Oh, to be honest I don’t know! They have somehow always been able to tell when I want out, and have complied right away. If nothing else, simply yell so I can hear you and ask on your behalf. Now, Twilight. You had a question?”
Twilight lowered her hoof. She’d been quite wide-eyed for most of the lecture. “Fluttershy, how exactly are they going to swallow us? We’re almost the same size!”
“Oh, there are larger tatzlponies, but you are right about most of them being about the same size as regular ponies. As for how… would you allow Tatzlight to show you? She’ll not be satisfied with meeting you until she’s swallowed you for a bit.”
Twilight fought her sudden bout of nerves. “Er… What should I do?”
3: A Journey Into the Self
Fluttershy gave Twilight a reassuring smile. “The simplest way is to curl up. The less your limbs splay out, the easier and quicker it is to swallow you.” She walked up to Twilight and laid a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Relax.”
Twilight laid down, somewhat shakily, and tucked her legs close to her body. “Like this?”
“Perfect. Now lie still.” Fluttershy nodded to Tatzlight, who immediately perked and rushed over to nuzzle Twilight. Then the tatzlpony circled to Twilight’s back. Tatzlight opened her maw… and opened it… until it seemed she was more maw than anything else. Her tongues encircled Twilight with a gentle, sinuous motion. Twilight eeped and looked back with apprehension but otherwise remained immobile. Tatzlight’s tongues found purchase, lifting Twilight with ease and bringing her to Tatzlight’s maw, tail first.
Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie shared an incredulous look as Twilight looked back at them. Twilight herself sported a wide-eyed look of worry as she observed Tatzlight’s maws' gentle folding over her body. A heartbeat later the tatzlpony threw her head back, letting gravity push Twilight further into her mouth. Twilight looked down in time for her head to disappear into the closing maw, coinciding with Tatzlight’s belly ballooning out. Tatzlight swallowed with a loud gulp, while from her stomach region there sounded a weak “oof” in Twilight’s voice.
Rainbow Dash walked up to Tatzlight’s side and bent her head close to the now bulging stomach. “Twilight! Are you alright?”
Although somewhat muted, Twilight’s voice was still clear. “Um, yes, I appear to be fine! Let me just…” The tingling of a unicorn’s horn issued from Tatzlight’s upper torso. “...Ah, there we go! Stomach seems leathery. Oh! Interesting detail: the tongues all have their own roots! They aren’t mere forks, like some snake tongue taken to its logical conclusion. Each tongue’s root seems placed to line up with the edges of the three parts of Tatzlight’s maw! Fascinating!”
Rainbow Dash chuckled and straightened up to meet the eyes of the other girls. “If I know anything, it is that if Twilight is in lecture mode then she is only a bit nervous at most.”
Tatzlight stretched, bowing low and putting her forelegs in front of her. While in that pose, she shut her eyes and opened her tripartite maw into a massive yawn. Rarity, who happened to be standing right in front of the tatzlpony, realized she could see all the way down Tatzlight’s throat to where Twilight’s horn was glowing. A fraction of a second later Twilight raised her head enough to peer out and wave at Rarity. Then the yawn ended, hiding Twilight from view again. Tatzlight smacked her lips, tongues hanging low. Then she froze, eyes going wide. Twilight could still be heard mumbling inside her.
“What’s this..?”
Tatzlight’s eyes crossed and she coughed, accompanied by a full-body twitch. All three of her tongues retracted into her maw, almost whip-like. A second later Twilight gave a giggling and somewhat muffled shriek.
“Nooo! Mercy! No tickling! I’m sorry~ !”
The tongues reappeared after a couple seconds. Twilight quietened down except for some heavy panting and stray giggling.
“Note to self: Tatzlpony tracheal openings are sensitive, and poking them results in swift retaliation.”
There was another round of shared laughter, at the end of which Tatzlight turned to Fluttershy and chirped. “Home? Rest?”
“Um. Yes. Though could you let Twilight come out first?” Fluttershy had raised her voice towards the end of her sentence, to something that might be mistaken for loud in an otherwise quiet room. Tatzlight nodded and retracted her tongues. An “eep” sounded from her stomach, moments before it deflated back to its original size. Tatzlight’s throat bulged and her maw opened wide again, revealing Twilight carried in Tatzlight’s tongues.
As Twilight was set down on the cottage floor, she looked herself over. “Coat in slight disarray; likely due to the humidity and the tight confines. Otherwise everything seems completely normal.” Her ears perked and she stared back at Tatzlight. “This is amazing! They actually seem to have adapted their stomachs into a storage space; one that can carry living creatures!”
Rainbow Dash took to hovering above the floor next to Twilight. “Well, how was it?”
Twilight glanced up at Rainbow Dash before adopting a stare into infinity. “It was… weird. Cozy! Tight, but… warm and comfortable. To be honest, it didn’t feel all that bad. Er, I’d probably be quite content in there with a reading light and a book.”
There were general nods of understanding, coupled with some low-key chuckling at the Princess of Books being herself. Then Rainbow Dash flew in front of Tatzlight and booped the tatzlpony on the nose. “Well if Twilight’s brave enough to try it, and she says it’s fine, then I’m not going to lose to her! I wanna try being gobbled up too!”
Tatzlight, to everypony's surprise, shut her maw tight and shook her head. Rainbow Dash’s expression soured. “Hey! What gives? Am I not good enough for you?” She was booped back by a tongue as a way of response. Then Tatzlight chirped at Fluttershy, who spoke to Dash.
“She says she wants to let your counterpart swallow you first, as it seems ‘dibs’ were called.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes grew big. “There’s a tatzlpony version of me here?”
Fluttershy hesitated before nodding. “Um. Yes. Of us all. And… um… some more besides.”
“Oh now this I gotta see”, Rainbow Dash said and flew to Tatzlight’s side. “C’mon, lead us to your nest or whatever!”
Tatzlight gave a vigorous nod and bounded towards the front door of the cottage. A tongue curled around the handle and yanked the door open. A second later, all that could be seen of Tatzlight was a tail, disappearing to the right of the doorway. Rainbow Dash was next, timing the flapping of her wings so they folded as she flew through the doorway and gave chase. The others, except for Twilight, froze for a second before rushing to follow without uttering a word. Finally, Twilight snapped out of her staring contest with infinity and galloped to the door.
“Wait for me!”
Author's Note
A tatzlpony seems to be a hybrid of a pony and a tatzlwurm. How, exactly, this came to pass is unknown.
Tatzlponies feature many mammalian traits, some annelid traits and a couple traits unique to the tatzlpony and the tatzlwurm. Their generally mammalian equine parts make them warm-blooded, viviparous (though a kind of viviparity that is unique to tatzlponies and is found nowhere else, not even with tatzlwurms who are ovoviviparous; more below) and nursing, with a general physique only slightly weaker than the average earth pony.
Reptilian traits show up in the tatzlpony’s large, scaly tail. It is far less dextrous than a pony’s tail, but is also far more rugged. It seems to be where the tatzlpony body stores most of its excess fat, and is very insensitive. There are indications that tatzlponies could lose and regrow their tails to foil predators, just like juvenile tatzlwurms, but this has not been observed among contemporary tatzlponies to date, mainly due to them having tamed their environment and thus not facing any kind of grave physical threats.
The annelid tatzlpony features are not readily visible. Perhaps the clearest annelid sign one can bear witness to is whenever a tatzlpony swallows something whole that is the same size as (or indeed considerably larger than) the tatzlpony itself. A glimpse at the internal structure reveals more; although the tatzlpony skeleton is relatively similar to the pony standard, the ribcage of a tatzlpony is very different in that the front is attached to the back part only via extremely flexible muscles. A tatzlpony can increase the volume of its chest and stomachs by several orders of magnitude!
4: A Burrow in the Hillside
Tatzlight trotted through the woods of the Everfree. Her natural grace made slinking through the vines and underbrush easy, her trio of tongues serving to keep obstructing flora out of her way.
Behind her, the six ponies had a markedly more laboured time negotiating the forest. Applejack served as trailblazer, more often than not opting to power through the obstacles in front of her. Rainbow Dash flew above Applejack, sometimes giving directions. Pinkie Pie was next, her mode of travel resembling parkour more than anything else. She bounced off tree trunks and swung from lianas - or swung from lianas into tree trunks, only to bounce off. Twilight was third, and her magic finally made a path that was negotiable for those behind her. Rarity and then Fluttershy followed in her steps. Little was spoken, apart from directions and sporadic warnings of particularly obstructing plant-life.
No more than ten minutes had passed since the group left Fluttershy’s cottage when Tatzlight slowed to a stop at the edge of a small clearing. The clearing was uneven, with a dry ditch or small brook running through it. Hilly mounds covered by small berry-laden bushes made its path meander. In the shallow dips between the mounds the earth had been worked, exposing dark soil. Green shoots sprouted from the soil, not in even rows, but in some chaotic yet equidistant pattern. The fragrance of wet soil filled the air.
Wide holes were visible around the edge of the clearing, nestled into the sloping ground between the roots of the closest trees. Hatches, woven from branches and leaves, plugged the holes.
The ponies halted as they caught up to Tatzlight. Both Applejack and Twilight slumped, winded from exertion. Rarity was the first to speak.
“Darlings, why do we tend to run everywhere, even when the fate of Equestria doesn’t hang in the balance? Why can’t we proceed at a pace that lets a mare keep her composure..?” Her voice trailed off for a moment as she got a good look at the scene in front of the group. "Where are we?"
"This is where the Tatzlponies have made their burrows", Fluttershy answered. "I offered them something closer to Ponyville at first, but they turned it down."
Rainbow Dash had finished a circuit above the clearing's edge and was now hovering above the group. "Where are they, then? Are they hiding?"
Fluttershy shook her head. "No, they are resting in their burrows. Please keep your voices down, girls."
Tatzlight had waited patiently for the others to gather and catch their breaths. Now she turned towards the clearing and, contrary to Fluttershy's last words, hooted loud enough to echo among the trees. The others froze for a moment, waiting for a reaction. It came in the form of the grass plugs all opening narrow cracks. Animal noises issued from them, the majority being various birds.
One of the woven plugs shot into the air with a loud rustle, disintegrating in the process. A blue blur shot out of the opened burrow, heading straight towards Rainbow Dash. Dash tried to dodge by taking to the air, but she was no more than her own height off the ground when the blur, too, lifted into the air. There was a confused moment where Rainbow Dash yelped, an instant before the blur reached her at the apex of its leap. Then it landed and stopped, revealing another tatzlpony. This one was the counterpart of the vanished Rainbow Dash. A pair of jagged, rainbow-colored lightning bolts decorated the sides of her eyes. The shaggy crest of mane down her back and tail resembled the colorful pennants at a carnival.
Tatzldash grinned at the frozen tableau of stunned ponies. Then she poked at her stomach, resulting in the voice of Rainbow Dash issuing from within, speaking with a confused tone.
"Where'd the lights go?"
The ponies laughed, but the laughter died down as four other burrows opened up (though gentler), revealing more tatzlponies. Each pony present could now study their tatzlpony counterpart. Reactions varied.
Pinkie Pie shouted in glee. She rushed to meet her double, who opened her tripartite maw wide in invitation. Pinkie leaped like an arrow straight into Tatzlpinkie's mouth.
Applejack also met her counterpart in the middle, though both took to circling and studying the other. Tatzljack opened her maw and beckoned with one of her tongues, but Applejack backed away nervously. "Sorry, partner, but I gotta warm up to that some more."
Rarity took one look at her counterpart, shrieked, and charged towards her. Tatzlrarity halted with visible confusion and widening eyes. Then she was tackled, her and Rarity tumbling down into the burrow while Rarity shouted something about industrial combs.
Twilight watched all this with bemusement, until she felt a tug on her ear. Turning her head, she saw Tatzlight beckoning with an open maw. Twilight sighed. "You want to engulf me again?"
Tatzlight nodded, resulting in another sigh from Twilight. Then Twilight tromped over to stand in front of Tatzlight. "Very well; if you insist." This time, Tatzlight didn't hesitate. Twilight landed inside Tatzlight's stomach after a mere fraction of a second.
Next, Twilight felt Tatzlight's legs brush against her from outside the stomach as Tatzlight walked. After a couple dozen steps there was a pause before Tatzlight seemed to dip forward at a steep angle. The steps were shorter now and braced on the forward legs. Twilight heard the bottom of Tatzlight's stomach scrape against loose soil.
A moment later, Tatzlight reached more even ground and stopped. Twilight saw Tatzlight's tongues extend and her maw open, though beyond lay only darkness Twilight’s horn light was unable to pierce. Then Twilight saw Tatzlight's tongues reverse, pulling back to grip her and pull her forward. She obliged by pulling her hooves close to her body, expecting to be let out. Thus she became confused when, instead of open air, she was transferred to another, larger set of tongues.
The new belly Twilight found herself in was large enough to allow her to stand without her horn touching its ceiling. The tongues that carried her were approximately double as long and thick as Tatzlight's, making Twilight worried. The tatzlpony whose belly she now occupied had to be very large indeed. She was promptly released, and stood up.
Turning towards the throat, Twilight saw the tongues extend again. When they pulled back, they were carrying Tatzlight, who had elected to extend her legs so it looked like she was diving. Tatzlight was released next to Twilight, the two of them taking up almost all room in the belly. The large Tatzlpony's tongues didn't extend back out, instead remaining retracted. Two tongues entangled with all three of Tatzlight's, while the third one gave Twilight gentle prods on the nose. Twilight giggled from the attention, caught somewhere between amusement and worry.
Tatzlight disentangled from the odd embrace and let out a huge yawn, tongues straining in the air, before lying down and curling up into a ball. The yawn turned out to be contagious, Twilight soon following Tatzlight's example with a jaw-stretcher of her own. Twilight became aware of how weary she felt.
"Um... Please, could I get out? I’d like to go home to take a nap."
The large tatzlpony must have heard her, because the tongue that was still booping her snoot elected instead to stroke her mane once before pushing down on her back. Twilight didn't resist the obvious suggestion, letting her legs fold underneath her. She felt Tatzlight sidle closer, so their coats mingled. Two of the large tongues curled on top of Twilight, gently kneading her side and shoulders.
She didn't even notice falling asleep.
Author's Note
[Tatzlponies] differ from earth ponies in that the strongest part of the tatzlponies is their three tongues, though the strength and dexterity of those are frankly staggering, capable of nearly similar kinds of force as earth ponies’ legs yet beating the same soundly in terms of flexibility.
Some tatzlponies display wings or horns, though both features seem at least partially vestigial. Winged tatzlponies might glide at the summit of one of their great leaps but they seem to lack the ability to take off into flight from the ground and they rarely flap their wings for propulsion. Tatzlponies with a unicorn horn frequently use light spells, but little else. Tatzlponies' tongues seem so dextrous that they simply do not see the need to develop telekinesis.
5: Facts Deceptively Easy to Swallow
A snug, comfortable feeling heralded Twilight's return to the waking world. It reminded her of childhood mornings, of waking up in the embrace of her parents. So welcome, so peaceful was the sensation that she lingered, refusing to move or open her eyes even as her senses sharpened. Even awake and alert, the moment was too precious, too perfect to disturb. No irritating light fell on her shut eyelids, letting her face remain relaxed. Her nose detected only a very slight damp smell, which was soothing on its own. No sharp sounds fell on her ears; only some distant and muted birdsong passed the whisper of her own breathing. She felt she was lying on her side, resting on a soft and comfortable surface. Her legs curled snug against her torso. A warm blanket enveloped her. The only detail marring this perfect moment was a slight itch on her back, below the wing joints, but a moment's scratching erased that slight irritant. Twilight rejoiced at not having to lose her comfortable warmth to deal with that.
There was, Twilight realized, something off with the last few moments. If her legs were curled up in front of her, immobilized by whatever was covering them, then how did she scratch that itch? She was still not bothered enough to consider ending her rest, so she filed the matter away for later. Only, now her nose was itching. Right at the tip, where it was bound to make her sneeze unless she— Ah, good, another saving scratch. Wait a moment . All four legs still immobile and snug under their covering? Check . So what..?
Opening her eyes did nothing, so she summoned some light to her horn. Seeing someone else's very snakelike tongue rubbing the tip of her nose ranked among Twilight's top ten most startling things to see in the morning. Her first thought after flinching was to remind herself which diary held that particular list, so she could update it. Once the shock abated, the morning’s events came to her, including where she'd fallen asleep. She surveyed her surroundings again and, yes, saw the by now familiar stomach of a tatzlpony.
"Tatzlight? Is that you? Could I get out?"
Gentle tongues grabbed Twilight and pushed her up and out. The space she emerged in was larger, but still filled to snug capacity. It appeared Tatzlight and Twilight weren't the only ones to spend the night in this cavernous belly. The tatzlpony analogues of Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie all cuddled together in their sleep. Twilight noted that all of them had distended, pony-shaped bellies. Tatzlpinkie's barrel pressed against Twilight's back, and Twilight felt not one, but two sources of breathing. Something shifted in Tatzlrarity's belly, pressing down on Twilight's head for a moment. She heard Rarity mumble, muffled through the stomach.
The tongues holding Twilight turned her around so she could look back at her own analogue. Tatzlight's eyes held amusement and curiosity in about equal measure.
"Oh, good morning Tatzlight! Um, it is morning, isn't it? Yes? Thank you."
Tatzlight chirped and tilted her head. Twilight nodded.
"Yes, I slept very well..." Then it was Twilight's turn to tilt her head, though in confusion. "...Wait. How do I understand you?"
This was answered with a giggly and a sprightly shake of Tatzlight’s manes and tongues. Twilight scrunched her muzzle.
“I’m not being silly! This is a serious question!”
Tatzlight sat down in front of Twilight and laid her tongues so their tips rested in a loose embrace on Twilight’s shoulders. Then she tweeted a short cadence of sparrow-like sounds. They somehow held overtones of the universal amused patience expressed when explaining something that should be obvious. To Twilight’s mounting confusion, the message was clear.
“During my sleep? How could I learn to understand you while I was sleeping?”
Tatzlight shrugged and, after a pause, chirped a question. To Twilight's ears, it sounded indistinguishable from any of the previous chirps. And yet...
"Um, yes, I'd like to get up and stretch my legs."
Before Twilight finished speaking, she found herself grasped by one of the bigger tongues. It lifted her towards the top of the large stomach. She tucked her legs in by reflex and marveled at the fact that she had that reflex already. A short moment later, she felt soft dirt under her hooves. In front of her was a curving wall of hard-packed dirt. Off to the left was a short tunnel, sealed by one of the leafy plugs. Narrow beams of sunlight and the sounds of birdsong managed to penetrate it.
To Twilight’s right was the biggest tatzlpony she had seen so far. A dark blue specimen with wings and horn, and of slender build despite its regal size. The tatzlpony’s eye markings were different from the ones Twilight had seen so far. This one had a pitch-black vertical streak from her forehead down to the tip of her muzzle. Two crescent moons were mirrored back-to-back in this blackness, slightly above the line of her eyes. Those eyes radiated slight aloofness, but also amused curiosity as they studied Twilight right back.
Taking in this majestic tatzlpony, Twilight became only slowly aware via a growing discomfort that she had gasped and then held her breath. She closed her eyes and exhaled in a great wheeze. Then she focused on her breathing until she managed to calm herself. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked back up at the tatzlpony likeness of Princess Luna.
The giant tatzlpony nodded regally at Twilight and spoke, clearly, using a perfect imitation of Princess Luna’s voice. “Good morning, Twilight Sparkle. I am Teacher Moon. You can call me Teacher.”
“Good morning, er, your majesty”, Twilight stuttered.
Teacher Moon shook her head. “No need for such honorifics. I am not royalty anymore. Once, I was a princess, but that title lost all meaning to me more than a thousand years ago.”
Twilight’s ears perked. “Moon… I have so, so many questions.”
"I am sure you do." Moon smiled. "I would be delighted to answer all your questions in time. However, for now I must ask for a favor."
"What can I do for you?"
"Two of my little ponies have disobeyed me and snuck off. Please don't misunderstand; I have no authority past that of respect. I do not seek to punish them or bring them back. What I would ask of you, is that you watch over them and keep them safe."
"Oh." Twilight blinked. "Where did they go?"
"They expressed curiosity about the village we passed through on our way here. They would have you believe they are suspicious of this new thing, but in truth they are only eager to explore."
"They went to explore Ponyville? Oh dear. Nopony else but us knows about you. They are going to scare somepony!"
Moon looked sad. "Ponies are still shy and skittish then? Our appearance must be startling."
"It takes some getting used to, yes. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to gather the girls..." Twilight trailed off as Moon shook her head.
"The ponies Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Fluttershy are still sleeping. The ponies Rainbow Dash and Applejack could be awake, though they are with my sister."
Twilight's eyes widened. "Your... sister ... is here?"
"Yes." Moon smiled and nodded. "You are familiar with our counterparts in your world, then? I would like to introduce you, but I must instead beg you to go look for my two wayward ponies. Seek Applejack and Rainbow Dash, if you think they might be of assistance with their counterparts."
"I will!" Twilight gave a firm nod before turning and clambering out of the burrow. Birdsong and a mild breeze greeted her. The forest clearing was peaceful and empty, except for Applejack. The farm pony was standing at the entrance of another burrow, looking down into it with a frustrated glare. Twilight trotted over to her.
"Good morning, Applejack! Is something wrong?"
Applejack shook her head, hat magnifying her movements. "Nothing past the usual lazy sleepyhead that is our weather manager. Acting all tough while awake, but won't stop cuddling me when I need to get to the farm!"
"Ah." Twilight tried, and failed, to hold back the laughter. "Could I bother you before that? Your tatzl counterparts have decided to explore Ponyville. Unescorted."
Applejack turned to stare into Twilight's eyes. "Are you saying two ponies who look like Rainbow Dash and me, but with added tentacles, are loose in Ponyville? On market day? "
Twilight paled. "Oh no. I forgot about market day. We should... we should go. Now."
"I hear you, and raise you. We should run ." Applejack was already running.
Author's Note
Tatzlponies are true omnivores, but an observer could be fooled into believing they are herbivorous. Root vegetables are chief among the preferred tatzlpony foods. Among those, carrots and sugar beets compete for the spot of favourite food. Common potatoes fare the worst in comparison, but are still readily accepted and preferred ahead of non-root vegetable foods. Any leaf vegetables are eaten next, and can sometimes be found as seasoning to root vegetables. These are followed by hay, grasses, fungi and other plant matter, again in order of preference.
Tatzl rarely if ever eat meat, only resorting to scavenging carrion in times of dire need. A desperate tatzlpony can even derive sustenance from dirt rich in nutrients, but any larger community of tatzlponies doing this for any sustained period of time would render the land around them barren.
Tatzlponies have two stomachs. The first stomach serves no digestive purpose at all. How this came to be is a mystery, but scholars recognise that the tatzlponies derive several key advantages thanks to this arrangement. One such advantage is that they can store swallowed food in their first stomachs for later. A fine network of muscles and synapses cover their first stomach, enabling them to partition the stomach into smaller sections and keep different stored items (living or otherwise) separate from each other. A living creature stored in the tatzlpony’s first stomach suffers no ill effect, as breathable air is somehow supplied to it, likely through magical means.
Actual digestion happens in the second stomach and the intestines, which function much the same as a pony’s but can stretch to accommodate much larger volumes. The intestines are shorter than a common pony’s but more efficient at drawing nutrients from the food, evening out the difference and allowing tatzlponies to digest more varied foods (should they need to, as mentioned above).
6: Monstrous Bargains Made Here
As Applejack and Twilight ran, scenarios of what they’d find in Ponyville ran through their heads, each scenario more grim than its predecessor. It was therefore a slight relief to exit the Everfree and find Ponyville looking normal. Discord seemed to be enjoying the day off in the distance, having turned an entire neighbourhood into colorful children’s building blocks and amusing himself by swapping the blocks around. The Cutiemark Crusaders were putting out a small fire on the shore of the pond. Lily, Daisy and Roseluck, collectively known as The Flower Trio, could be heard running and screaming something about wasps being government agents.
This was completely normal for Ponyville. The town had learned to roll with the weirdness. The market, visible even from the outskirts, was bustling. Ponies still moved out of the way when they saw Applejack and Twilight approaching, the pair obviously on some important errand. Thus they reached the center of the market in short order. The center of the market also happened to be where the Apple Family regularly set up their cart.
Standing in front of the cart, announcing their presence with his size alone, Big Macintosh raised one bemused eyebrow at the approaching pair before glancing behind the -suspiciously empty- cart to where a plump and visibly pleased Tatzljack was sitting with an air of imperiousness, half-lidded eyes radiating perfect content. There was a queue in front of Big Mac with Davenport being the pony about to step up front at the moment. Davenport gave an amused wave to Applejack. “Hello there! I never knew you had a twin. Two dozen sour ones, please.”
The latter he said to Big Macintosh, who answered “Eeeyup” without breaking his eye contact with Applejack. Meanwhile Tatzljack’s maw opened and her tongues emerged, entwined around a cluster of what probably was exactly twenty-four greenish-golden apples. The apples were deposited into a paper bag that the trio of tongue tentacles wrapped shut and held over to an increasingly amused Davenport, who nodded in thanks and left the queue in favour of the next pony.
Applejack and Twilight had sat down on their haunches to stare at the tableau in front of them, mouths agape (and not entirely due to how winded Twilight was). They glanced at each other. Twilight nodded to Applejack, who blinked, momentarily at a loss. “Howdy Big Mac. Uh, has she… been any trouble?”
Big Mac snorted and grinned. “Eenope.” Then he nodded towards the queue - which, now that Applejack was properly observing it, was longer than usual and growing still. Ponyville had indeed learned to appreciate the weirdness.
Applejack sighed with relief and stood. She walked up to Tatzljack, a playful grin on her face. “So… you like apples, do you?” Tatzljack nodded vigorously, bringing up a dozen colorful apples from her gut and juggling them in a twisting, looping pattern. Applejack turned to Twilight, looked her in the eye and nodded, as if to say she got things under control, before looking back at Tatzljack and asking “Would you like to see where we grow them?”
Twilight didn’t stay and watch Tatzljack’s (by the sounds) very positive reaction. She’d spotted Mayor Mare in the queue, and the mayor had caught her eye. She walked over to the greying mare, who greeted Twilight with a nod.
“Hello, Princess Twilight. Are we entertaining visitors to our town?”
Twilight nodded. “Yes. If you could please inform City Hall and the guard, I would be grateful. Speaking of, I’d be further in your debt if you could tell me if you’ve seen a pony looking a lot like Rainbow Dash in town today, but who is similar to our visitor here?”
Mayor Mare hummed for a moment while shuffling forward in the queue. Then she spoke slowly. “Well… if you are saying there’s a pony looking like our Rainbow Dash in town, but not Rainbow Dash herself… then you should know I saw a Rainbow Dash speed off - running, now that I think about it - towards the pond, likely attracted by whatever the Crusaders exploded.”
Twilight gulped. “Er, I better go and check up on them. Thanks, Mayor.” She walked away from the market square, turned a corner, checked that nopony else was watching, and tore into a gallop towards the pond. She gradually became aware of foalish shrieks from up ahead, making her push herself into a truly reckless pace. One last cottage to pass, and the idyllic scene of the pond opened up before her. Of the Cutiemark Crusaders there was no sight, but Tatzldash was very evident, apparently stalking a bush.
A bush that was quivering.
Just as Twilight drew in a breath to shout, Tatzldash pounced. There was a shriek, and Applebloom shot out from under the greenery right before the tatzlpony entered it. The young filly pumped her legs for all that she was worth, but Tatzldash burst from the bush already at blurring speeds. Twilight’s shout died a shocked death in her throat as she saw Tatzldash practically run over Applebloom and gobble her up effortlessly.
The tatzlpony didn’t slow down. Instead, she curved around and headed straight for the pond. Just as Twilight, still paralyzed by shock, expected Tazldash to leap, she instead dug in her hooves in the moist earth… and opened her maw. Three fillies - Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom - hurled by a tongue tentacle each, were literally launched out of Tatzldash’s throat, to sail in a huge arc out over the pond, accompanied by shrieks - and excited laughter.
Each Cutiemark Crusader performed differently; Scootaloo flapped her stubby wings and gained extra air time. Applebloom curled into a cannonball. Sweetie Belle flailed without control and landed nearly upside down. Three huge splashes echoed around the pond, while Tatzldash bled the remainder of her speed by splashing into the shallow water by the shore and keeping an eye on where the fillies had landed.
A moment later, all three fillies popped to the surface and made their way towards the shore. Already, they were calling out: “Again! Again!” That was about the time Twilight remembered about needing to breathe, so she took a couple of deep breaths. This also served to calm her down and see the humor in the situation. Her thoughts went to Fluttershy and her bear massages and she chuckled, only slightly out of breath.
Tatzldash perked at the sound, turned her head to look for its source and, upon spotting Twilight, trumpeted like a seagull before loping over to stand in front of her. Twilight smiled.
“Hello! Having fun?”
Tatzldash nodded and chittered like a starling. The Crusaders, ignoring Twilight, were already bouncing around Tatzldash, still demanding an encore. Twilight looked straight into Tatzldash’s eyes and nodded her go-ahead. “It’s nice of you to play with Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Applebloom. If you want to keep doing it, go right ahead.”
The raised eyebrow and the mischievous smirk on Tatzldash’s face should’ve warned Twilight. Instead, she was taken completely off-guard by the combined pounce and swallow. She landed upside down in Tatzldash’s stomach, and had only barely managed to gain her bearings when three giggling fillies landed on her, scattering her thoughts. Despite being upside down, she could still feel the intense acceleration that followed, and had time enough to start a wail of protest before there was light, rushing air and a quickly approaching greenish-blue surface—
Tatzldash looked positively disgruntled when Twilight appeared in front of her in a flash of magic. The tatzlpony hooted like an owl, once, and still managed to convey a complex and nuanced message of disappointment. Twilight maturely stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at her.
Author's Note
Early studies of tatzlponies were gravely misled by studies of tatzlpony skeletons. The cranial cavity of a tatzlpony is only seventy percent the volume of a common pony’s. The explorers and researchers were mystified by this fact when compared to the tatzlpony’s obvious intelligence and ability to learn and adapt. Only later did gentle magical scans reveal a fine network of synaptic nerves surrounding the first stomach, roughly equal in mass and number of synaptic connections to the “missing” part in the skull. Roughly (and jocularly) put, a tatzlpony thinks with its stomach. Stretching of the stomach seems not to bother this network of synapses, up to a certain point. When the stomach is stretched past the volume needed to accommodate two adult ponies, the tatzlpony becomes sluggish and occasionally shows signs of slight discomfort. It has been theorised that this is due to the stretching synapses making signals travel longer, slowing down conscious mental processes.
Tests have revealed tatzlponies to be just as intelligent as common ponies. They can learn any language, being able to speak despite their lack of vocal chords by learning to use their tongues instead (and to great effect - a master tatzlpony ‘speaker’ can replicate sounds produced by almost any creature due to the elastic and malleable nature of their form and tongues, from the tweet of a bird to the roar of a dragon). Communication is even easier the other way; any pony that spends some time engulfed by a tatzlpony will be imparted the skill to understand that individual, and an understanding of all tatzlponies will be imparted should the time spent engulfed reach several hours.
As intelligent beings, tatzlponies develop just as complex personalities as common ponies do. Comparing them with common ponies show that on average they are much more physical; where common ponies speak to each other, tatzlponies touch (or even engulf) each other.
Applejack looked up, into the leafy shade above her, but her gaze was fixed on memories of her childhood.
“This here’s Margueritte the Younger. Margueritte the Elder was one of Granny’s first planted trees, way back before my mom was even born. Granny paid special attention to ol’ Margueritte and her siblings, as all young earth ponies are wont to do with their first seedlings. As Ol’ Mags grew, and Granny with her, Granny says she took to climbing Mags and sitting in her crown for a while, whenever the farm, or family, or whatever got to be a bit too much for her. She says my Grandpappy used to yell at her - he was worried she’d hurt Mags with all her climbing.”
Applejack scoffed and spat at the ground.
“As if an earth pony would ever harm what they’ve grown. Not possible. Anyway, one day when Granny was thinking in her tree, she spotted this little caterpillar; colorful and funny looking. So she caught it and brought it to her dad - my Grandpappy - to show, and she says he turned white as bleached linen. The little caterpillar was a dangerous pest, who could easily lay waste to the orchard if it went unchecked. Story goes, Grandpappy ran to the other farms and the town, gathering every able-bodied adult he could, so they could check every leaf, every branch of the orchard for more of the little critters.
“Well, more they found. Worse, they found where the vermin had already bored into the trees. Eight of the finest apple trees were basically doomed… including Ol’ Mags, unfortunately.
“Granny was distraught, of course, and Grandpappy was maybe a little remorseful, because if Granny hadn’t climbed her tree then she wouldn’t have spotted the caterpillar - most likely nopony would’ve, until much later, when half the orchard would’ve been beyond saving. So Grandpappy takes a cutting from Ol’ Mags and uses everything he knows to coax it to make a shoot. Granny says she was overjoyed when he shows her this lump of wood with tiny roots and a tiny shoot, and tells her to plant it where Ol’ Mags used to stand, where we are now.”
Applejack gave a wistful sigh, smiling all the while. “Young Mags is pretty good climbing, too. Got some real convenient low branches. I’ve caught my younger sister, Applebloom, here.”
Nothing but silence and rustling of leaves answered her. She waited for a moment, growing worried, before speaking again. “Uh… You still with me?”
This time, a warbling chitter sounded from the leafy darkness. Applejack snorted.
“Those are just some fruit bats. Leave—”
An excited twitter interrupted her.
“No, they don’t taste like fruit. Leave them alone; they sleep during the day.”
The tree produced a teasing, inquisitive hoot. Applejack was becoming annoyed.
“Yes, I know darn tootin’ well how they taste! I licked one when I was young and stupid! Granny washed my mouth with alcohol and made me drink a mix of turpentine and laxatives. I was sick for days after, and she said I got off lightly. So don’t you go thinking about swallowing them, all right?”
There was a sad squawk and Tatzljack dropped down from the branches. Then the tatzlpony walked up to Applejack and twittered a question.
“Oh, Granny? Uh, I dunno about meeting her. She’s old . And I am a bit worried about her health.”
Tatzljack produced a sound that is impolite in company, making Applejack frown.
“Don’t get sassy with me now. We can go see her, but she’s most likely napping and if she is then we are not disturbing her; is that clear?”
Tatzljack nodded vigorously. Applejack studied her for a moment, sighed and turned in the direction of the farmhouse.
“Well all right. It’s not far; just over the third hill this way.”
Granny Smith was not, in fact, napping. She was making marmalade. Hearing the front door open, she eyed the kettle warily before turning around.
“Applejack! And Apple… hm .” She squinted at the two ponies at the door. One was obviously her Applejack, be-stetsoned and looking back at her cheerfully. The other one was odd, giving off a wild and unkempt aura even before the newcomer eyed the interior of the house’s kitchen-dash-dining room as if she’d never set hoof in one. Those eye markings - and wasn’t that odd - did mark the newcomer as an Apple, however. And the similarities to Applejack were uncanny. “I did choose some pretty ripe apples for the jam, but even so the fumes shouldn’t make me see double. What gives?”
Applejack chuckled. “Hello, Granny. This here’s, well, she’s me from another Equestria. Fluttershy invited her and some others to our place, because they got some trouble back home.”
Granny Smith was silent for a moment while peering at Tatzljack, who got increasingly nervous as the silence extended and took to trying to straighten her mane with her tongues. This made Granny gasp in surprise.
“Well! You seem a strange one! But any kin of Applejack’s has to be fine, in my book. Say, fancy helping me with the marmalade? I could use a taste-tester.”
Tatljack looked blankly incomprehensive for a moment, before turning to Applejack. The farmpony chuckled good-naturedly.
“If you’re up for it, sure; you can help Granny. I’m thinking of heading to the northern parts of the orchard in the meantime, so if you need me you should be able to find me there.”
Applejack turned to Granny Smith. “She goes by Tatzljack, on account of her being a tatzlpony.” Applejack enunciated the word slowly and carefully, not only for Granny’s benefit: the word was a tongue-twister even without three tongues to twist. “She can’t speak much other than bird sounds, but she’s every bit as smart as us and understands everything we say. She’s not used to our ways, and her own are a mite strange to us; especially the swallowing ponies part, but she’s good-natured and kind so just go with it.” With that, she nodded and exited through the kitchen door.
Granny blinked at where Applejack had been, momentarily stunned and muttering to herself. “What was that about swallowing ponies..?” Then she turned to the newcomer. “So, you wanna help taste-test this here marmalade? I need someone to tell me if there’s enough sugar. I can’t really judge that these days.”
Tatzljack nodded rapidly and walked to stand next to Granny Smith, looking eagerly back and forth between her and the now bubbling kettle. Granny gingerly took a ladle from the kitchen counter using her mouth, dipped it into the kettle, stirred three times and then withdrew a dollop of yellowish-green goop that she presented to Tatzljack.
“‘Areful. Ish’ ‘ot.”
Tatzljack bent forward and sniffed the drooping, steaming marmalade before quickly pulling back. She blinked, seemed to consider something, and then leaned forward again for a deeper snuffle. This was followed by another, and a third. Then Tatzljack opened her maw a bit and slipped out a long tongue. Granny Smith watched in amazement as it kept emerging, curving up in the air so the tip of it could droop over the proffered ladle. The tip descended just enough to touch the jelly-like substance… and froze. Tatzljack’s eyes widened to complete astonishment, while her pupils first shrunk from shock and then expanded with absolute awe. Then the ladle was promptly enveloped by her three tongues, and Granny was so baffled by the sight that only a slight tug was needed to make her let go of the handle. Soon, nothing was visible of the ladle; its presence could only be determined by the general shape formed by the three tentacular tongues, writhing around one another like wrestling snakes as they sought to absorb every minute trace of apple marmalade. A moment later not even that was enough, and Tatzljack brought the entire ladle into her maw. Various liquid sucking noises ensued while the tatzlpony’s eyes shut in a display of absolute bliss.
Granny watched, with mounting alarm, as the pony’s eyes focused… on the bubbling kettle. Her reactions might’ve slowed over the years, but experience compensated: A swift reach for a spatula was all it took to deliver a swat at the probing tongues.
“Eenope! That’s hot, you silly mare! And even if it wasn’t, it goes onto other stuff.” She huffed. “Well I guess it tastes good.”
Then she carefully dipped a hoof into the pot, catching a small dollop of steaming marmalade that she quickly cooled by blowing. Tatzljack watched with obvious envy as Granny put the marmalade-covered hoof tip in her mouth.
“Hmm.” She smacked her lips a bit. “Like I said, the ol’ sense of taste is not what it used to be, but … I think a little more sugar is in order. Would you be a dear and fetch it from the cupboard over there?”
Tatzljack nodded, walked over to the indicated door, opened it and entered the cupboard. There was a moment filled with clinks and clanks as she rummaged around. Then she backed out, various bottles, jars and tins held in her tongue tentacles. She looked at Granny with an eyebrow raised inquisitively.
“That one; the white glittery stuff! Haven’t you seen sugar before?”
Tatzljack shook her head. Granny looked nonplussed. “Really? Well… put the rest back and bring that jar over.”
Tatzljack did so, placing the jar with the white, glittering innards next to Granny Smith. The elderly pony took the jar, but using too much strength, making the movement awkward. She paused, peering at the jar, before popping open the lid and peering inside. Her shoulders drooped.
“Oh. We’re out. All that’s left is the stuff sticking to the sides of the jar.” She turned to Tatzljack. “You want to taste? I need to clean this anyway, before we get more.”
Tatzljack nodded eagerly and was quickly awarded a glittering jar in her front hooves. This time there was no hesitation; three tongues entered the jar… and, if anything, her reaction was even stronger than to the marmalade. She keeled sideways, cradling the jar and stuffing it against her face until her tripartite maw was inside its rim. Her tongues could be seen furiously wriggling against every surface. Meanwhile, she emitted little mewls, purrs and chitters, like a zooful of contented little animals. Granny couldn’t help but chuckle at the sugar-enamored pony.
“When you’re done with that jar you should hoof it over. It needs washing.”
Said jar was put onto the counter next to Granny almost before her last word had finished. Granny peered at it; to her eyes, it was spotless. Sparkling clean. Still… she knew where it’d been, so she filled the sink with water and added dish soap on principle if nothing else. She grabbed a brush and set to work: nopony would accuse Granny Smith of being sloppy.
Halfway through the washing, she spotted movement in the corner of her eye. Leaning back from the sink and turning her head let her see Tatzljack, legs shifting restlessly on a sugar high, being mesmerized by the sudsy, iridescent bubbles the dish soap and her scrubbing had formed. Gently, very gently, she held one tongue beneath a free-floating soap bubble until it landed. Ever so gently, another tongue reached over to prod it with its tip… causing the bubble to pop. Tatzljack grimaced and withdrew her tongues, repeatedly running them over her lips to rid them of the soap residue.
“Heh, soap’s not for eating, you silly thing”, Granny cackled. She returned to finishing cleaning the jar, concluded that she couldn’t get it any visibly cleaner, drained the suds and rinsed the jar thoroughly in pure water.
“Grab that kitchen towel will you? This needs drying.”
Tatzljack did grab the indicated towel, as well as two others she saw nearby. Granny chose not to comment, instead merely holding the jar up towards Tatzljack. The tatzlpony acted on cue, using her tongues to envelop the jar in towels and rubbing them vigorously. Soon enough the squeaky sound of dry glass was heard, prompting Granny to pull the jar out of Tatzljack’s grip and set it down on the counter. She took a deep breath and held it a moment before letting it out as a sigh.
“Well, that’s that. Now I need to go into town to buy more sugar.” (She didn’t see Tatzljack perk up at the word.) “It’s gonna take a while with this hip. I won’t mind if you choose to do something else; accompanying this old and slow pony can be boring.” Then she turned and actually looked at Tatzljack, expecting to see her leaving. Instead, Tatzljack was peering at Granny Smith with her head tilted and an unreadable expression on her face.
“Well, do you have some other suggestions, young o—”
The next moments would always be a confusing blur to Granny. Tatzljack trotted happily out of the kitchen, while Granny’s slightly stunned voice emanated from her belly. “Oh, so that’s what Applejack meant.”
Aloe was behind the counter of the spa reception when Berry Punch entered. It took but a glance at the purplish earth-pony for the experienced masseuse to pick up numerous signs of stress and tension. She adopted her practiced welcoming smile and greeted her prospective customer. Berry Punch half-sighed, half-growled in response.
“Please, Aloe, you are my only hope before I lose my sanity completely. Do you have a free slot for a bath and a massage about now?”
Now that Berry Punch had reached the counter, leaning over it far enough to almost rest on top of it, Aloe could pick up additional details, such as the slight discolored splotches in Berry’s coat that seemed to be damp, and the surprisingly powerful ‘perfume’ of half-fermented grapes. She tutted sympathetically while reaching for the appointment book.
“Oh dear; if I recall our regular schedule is— yes; our normal slots are all in use at the moment. We could maybe put you in reserve if somepony else cancels, but—” She glanced at an increasingly dismayed Berry— “I doubt you’d want to wait.” She took a deep breath. “There is an… alternative. Rarity has brought an… acquaintance, and we allowed her to gauge this acquaintance’s suitability for spa work - on willing customers. Payment is optional. They’ve graciously rented a room for the entire evening.”
Berry Punch didn’t move for a second. “Normally I’d say ‘no thank you’ to any business of Rarity’s -she’s lovely to talk to and the soul of generosity, but drama follows her around- but… I have half-fermented wine staining my coat and am about to lose my mind anyhow. As long as I get a wash and a massage, I’ll take it.”
Aloe gave her best and most brilliant smile as she closed the appointment book with an audible thump. Then she tilted her head in a gesture for Berry Punch to follow her as she moved away from the counter. “Excellent. Please, follow me; I shall take you to Rarity and her guest. As I mentioned, payment is entirely up to you, as this is not our regular staff attending to you.”
Berry Punch nodded as she followed, a glimmer of hope appearing on her otherwise dour face. The pair exited the reception area, entering the spa’s interconnecting hallway. They passed a handful of doors on both sides before Aloe stopped and opened one on the left wall. A billow of steam hit Berry Punch in the face, bringing a pleasant, mildly perfumed scent and a promise of more damp heat against her face. Already, she could feel her shoulders relaxing. She nodded gratefully to Aloe as the spa worker stepped aside and bowed, allowing Berry Punch to enter.
“Ah! A visitor!”
The billowing steam in the room parted to reveal Rarity and… Berry Punch blinked. There were two Rarities in front of her; one lounging on a bench by the wall, basking in the heat, and another, wrapped in seaweed, lounging in one of the tubs of water serving as pools. The Rarity in the tub had slices of cucumber on her eyes, but presently lifted them off with her magic in order to look at Berry Punch.
“Hello, Berry Punch! Come; join us and be rid of your troubles!”
“Oh, Rarity, you sing a siren song right now” Berry Punch moaned. She shuffled forward and climbed gratefully into the nearest tub, groaning appreciatively as the hot water forced every muscle it touched to relax. The water immediately stained pink. Rarity - the one in the tub - was quick to notice.
“Oh my; you’re not hurt are you?”
“Oh no, no, no.” Berry waved away Rarity’s concern. “This is just wine. Well, it would’ve been wine with enough time. I was moving a cask when it suddenly broke and emptied all over my back. And what do I find in the remains, but wood borer beetles! My wine cellar is infested! I’ve been scrambling for a solution, carefully investigating each barrel, since last night. I lost two more barrels today!” She growled with frustration.
“Oh my; no wonder you are so stressed, darling.” There was a pause. “How would you feel about a massage to take away the stress?”
Berry Punch became aware that her eyes had shut. Upon reflection, she let them stay shut. She felt too good simply floating in the warm darkness. “Oh, yes, please . I need that. Lotus mentioned something about.. your company?”
“Yes. This is Tatzl Rarity. A mouthful, I know; we haven’t really considered alternatives yet. She’s me, from a different Equestria, and is visiting us. She’s had a - uh - somewhat rustic upbringing, and is very curious about everything here. She’d like to test her skills at everything the spa offers. With your permission..?”
Lulled into a pleasant, sleepy state by the tub’s warm water, Berry had only one objection. “I’d like to just lay here, though…”
“Oh, that’s fine. She can give you a massage right there.”
“Well in that case, sure, go right ahead.”
Berry still felt no need to open her eyes, but she heard the other Rarity rise from the bench and approach, hooves sounding loud on the ceramic tiles and wooden bath mats. Tatzl Rarity (and wasn’t that a strange name) positioned herself behind Berry’s head. A moment later Berry felt the first touch of something firm yet not hard, probing her shoulder and neck. The visitor started humming some vague tune while she got to work, and Berry had to admit there was skill in her ministrations. That, at least, was the verdict her rapidly unknotting muscles and tendons were delivering. The feeling was strange, though. There seemed to be three very flexible limbs tending to her, and for some things those limbs did this Rarity had to have been a contortionist.
Curious, Berry Punch opened her eyes. She eyed the tentacles for a bit before tracing them to their source. Tatzl Rarity looked back at her and gave a bird-like tweet as a greeting. A slight slosh from the other tub indicated Rarity had moved. This was followed by her voice.
“Dear, use your words.”
Contrary to what Berry Punch expected, Tatzl Rarity did not retract her tongues or even move her mouth, seemingly speaking using ventriloquism in a strange mix of Rarity’s and Fluttershy’s voices and inflections - with the sound travelling less via air and more via her tongues. “Hello, Berry Punch! Thank you for letting me try massage techniques on you! It is very interesting.”
Eh . Berry punch closed her eyes and settled back to relaxing. This just wasn’t worth getting worked up about. Again. Especially not in Ponyville. “No problem. You seem pretty good at it.”
A half-giggle, half chirp followed by a “Thanks!” was the reply to that. The tongues resumed kneading Berry Punch’s limbs into submission and she simply luxuriated in the feeling of being so pampered. She was hovering on the edge of sleep when Tatzl Rarity next spoke.
“That’s all I can do with the basic techniques, I think. There is some lingering stress, though, and I could test some more involved methods with your permission.”
Berry Punch already felt like every bit she could pay for this would be worth it, and now this strange Rarity suggested there could be more..? “Oh yeah, go right ahead”, she drawled.
She heard a slight splish as Tatzl Rarity apparently stepped into the tub. Then the tongues made a firm hold on Berry, and then things got a bit muddled. There was sloshing, and gurgling, and the sensation of being jostled. Everything got dark. The tongues shifted to grip one of her legs, and pulled… There was a crack, reminiscent of a thick branch snapping off a tree. Berry Punch’s eyes flew open, but all she could see was darkness. The tongues shifted to her other leg… Berry’s eyes rolled back into her head as the next crack sounded. Nothing that sounded like she was being torn in half had any business making her feel so relaxed .
Two more cracks and a crunch later and a bemused Rarity watched how Berry Punch virtually poured bonelessly out of Tatzl Rarity’s maw to again float in the tub… face down. That was concerning. Rarity better make sure she was fine.
“Berry, are you all right, dear?”
For a second, the purple mare simply floated in the water. Then a hoof was lazily raised to make a slight twirling motion.
“Tatzl…” Rarity harrumphed. Then her ears perked; inspiration had struck. “How about Dazzle? Would that be a good nickname?”
Tatzl Rarity nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! I’m Dazzle! Hello, darling!”
Rarity chuckled, delighted. “Pleased to meet you, Dazzle. What were we - oh.” Rarity gestured to the mare lying prone and face down in the other tub, the occasional bubble floating to the surface near her head. “Please do turn dear Berry Punch over before she drowns? Thank you.”
Berry Punch seemed unharmed, judging by the wide smile on her face. Tatzl Rarity - Dazzle - prodded her gently with a tongue to the side before asking, “are you feeling relaxed, miss Punch?”
“Mmmmm… ” Berry’s half-closed eyes shut all the way. She immediately started snoring.
