Why Yes, I Have Been Playing Middle Earth: Shadow Of War Recently
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Why Yes, I Have Been Playing Middle Earth: Shadow Of War Recently
It was another average day in Equestria as Twilight sat in the throne room that once belonged to the two sisters. If the day continued to be uneventful, which she hoped was the case, she might continue reading her collection of Harry Trotter books. She was halfway through Book 3 and would like to know who won the quidditch match in that one. Unfortunately for her, her own faithful former student trotted into the throne room followed by everypony’s favourite chaotic draconequus teleporting in.
“Uh...Twilight,” Starlight said sheepishly, “We have a problem.”
Twilight looked at Starlight with concern, “What kind of problem?”
“Discord and I…” Starlight replied.
“But mostly you,” Discord butted in.
“Discord and I,” Starlight reiterated, “had made a small error in judgement that may or may not have endangered all of Equestria.”
Twilight sighed as she put a hoof to her forehead, “What have you two done this time?”
Discord gasped dramatically, “What do you mean ‘this time’? You make it sound like every time Starlight and I are together, it ends in disaster.”
“Maybe not together but the two of you have been known to blow things out of proportion,” Twilight replied as she conjured a list of transgressions Discord did post-reformation, “That time you sold us out to Tirek, that time you sent me and my friends on a wild goose chase, the whole Grogar incident.”
Discord shrank as Twilight listed off his various boo-boos over the years.
“I would add that time you brought the Smooze as your plus one but Celestia planned on you causing a little bit of chaos at the Grand Galloping Gala so I let that one slide,” Twilight said before teleporting the list someplace else.
“To be fair,” Discord squeaked in a comically high-pitched voice, “I’m pretty sure Starlight has done worse.”
“Well, there was that time she mind-controlled my friends and that other time she switched the Cutie Marks of Celestia and Luna but that’s basically it,” Twilight replied, “So, I ask again, what did you two do this time?”
“You know how Discord and the princesses before you turned Chrysalis, Cozy Glow and Tirek into stone?” Starlight asked.
Twilight raised an eyebrow in concern.
“Well, I didn’t feel like they deserved that and it enabled Star-Swirl’s dumb ‘once a villain, always a villain’ philosophy,” Starlight continued, “So I asked Discord to turn them back to normal because he of all ponies should know what it’s like to be a living statue for all of eternity.”
“And I might have forgotten how much of a backstabbing sneak Tirek is,” Discord said as he returned to normal size.
“Even though he betrayed you twice?” Twilight dryly asked.
“I thought the first time was a one-off thing and that he valued loyalty above all else,” Discord replied defensively, “Besides, you should have seen him when Scorpan betrayed him.”
“Anyway, long story short, the School of Friendship has been taken over and Tirek stole everypony’s magic,” Starlight said quickly.
“Except for ours because I had the good sense to teleport us out of there,” Discord added on.
Twilight gave the two former ne’er-do-wells a bemused glare before giving a confident smile.
“Well, lucky for you two, I’ve been looking up reformation spells,” Twilight said as she got up from her throne.
“But I ate all the reformation spells,” Discord pointed out.
“I know,” Twilight said, “That’s why I’ve been looking for copies of those spells in the restricted area of the Canterlot Library.”
Discord gulped, “There were copies?”
Tirek sat on a throne made of school desks in the centre of the School of Friendship, casually picking up a fleeing unicorn and absorbing its magic as if he was eating a grape. Next to him was Chrysalis wrapping two ponies up in their own individual cocoons and Cozy Glow having a tea party with the protestors that demanded her release.
“Golly, I had no idea so many ponies cared for me,” Cozy said, “Wanna be friends?”
Tirek turned his head to face Cozy and her followers, “You do know she’s just using you little ponies, right?”
“CAN IT, TIREK!” Cozy yelled before going back to her sickenly sweet tone, “So, as I was saying…”
Cozy’s train of thought was interrupted by the sudden arrival of one Princess Twilight Sparkle, who bolted the entrance doors wide open. As Tirek got up from his makeshift throne and cracked his knuckles while Chrysalis got into an attack position, Cozy just shrugged and continued having tea with her followers.
“Do you think you can imprison us again?” Chrysalis boasted, “I told you that we will return and that nothing will stop-”
Twilight just zoomed past Chrysalis, ignoring her evil monologue.
“Excuse me!” Chrysalis exclaimed in an offended manner.
Twilight placed her hoof on Tirek’s face as her horn and eyes glowed a bright white, “Suffer me now!”
“That was your plan?” Tirek asked as he resisted Twilight’s reformation spell, “Using the Potior spell against me?”
“No,” Twilight replied coldly as she placed the other hoof on Tirek’s face, “This is.”
Tirek shrieked as Twilight violently shook his head while casting the spell. As the spell was being cast, all of the magic Tirek stole leaked out of him like a squeezed sponge and returned to their rightful rulers. And when Tirek returned to his shrivelled form, Twilight released him from her grip.
“Tirek?” Cozy asked, worried about what Twilight did to him and if she was next.
Tirek started bawling his eyes out, “I don’t want the magic. I never wanted the magic. It’s your magic.”
Both Cozy Glow and Chrysalis stared in horror at the broken Tirek before looking at the equally horrified Discord and Starlight, who were standing at the entrance of the School of Friendship. It did not take the two of them long to gallop towards Discord and Starlight before falling to their knees and begging for forgiveness.
“I’msorryItookovertheschoolandtriedtogetridofallthemagicandanyotherbadstuffIdid,” Cozy apologized at breakneck speed, “Please don’t let that happen to me!”
“I’d rather be imprisoned again than live like that!” Chrysalis exclaimed.
“That’s the idea,” Twilight casually said as she made her way towards the entrance, “Now, you can give up your power-hungry ways or I will make you give up your power-hungry ways.”
Chrysalis looked back at the still-sobbing Tirek before looking back at Twilight, “Perhaps my former hive would be willing to share some love with me.”
“And maybe I can learn to be friends with ponies and other creatures with no strings attached,” Cozy said as she looked at her followers.
“Good,” Twilight said jovially, “And don’t worry about Tirek. He’ll be fine in about a year or so. Just ask Sunset Shimmer.”
Author's Note
Shame - Worse Than Death. Works every time.
And that's why, if you're an orc or a troll, it's better to accept being Dominated than have an Iron Will (no, not that Iron Will) that can resist Domination. Or worse, literally stabbing your boss in the back. Otherwise, you'll wind up like this guy:
Or this guy:
