That One Time: Harem Honeymoon Uncensored and Uncut

Chapter Eighteen:When Book Horse Becomes the Table Course

Written by TheCrimsonDM

Celestia was beyond excited to be taking Twilight out on the town like this. Sure their destination was known, they were going to the library to spend some quality time reading books together, but along the way she had many delights to share with Twilight. One thing she always loved about the Crystal Empire was the fact the citizens here were a lot more down to earth, very few worshiped her or Luna, their goddess of choice was long since dead, but they saw an avatar in her in the form of Cadance. What this really meant was that Celestia, Luna and Twilight could walk around the town unmolested.

The first order of business of course was to stop by some of the local markets. She hadn't gone shopping with Twilight in more years than she could remember. Twilight was nearly skipping with joy beside Celestia as the two of them deviated from the normal course and entered the market square. Anything from exotic treats, to musical instruments could be found here presuming one found a seller for such things. Celestia was particularly keen on finding a few points of interest.

Twilight hummed alongside her. "Hey, Celestia, you know that big festival where ponies trade items to each other and everything always works out because you’re only trading things you don't want for things you do want?"

Celestia nodded. "Yes, I do. This place is a little familiar , isn't it. I remember taking you there as a filly, and you were trying to trade all those comic books you stole from your brother. It was adorable."

"What if a pony trades a pony for some object?"

Celestia's eyes widened. "Twilight, that's illegal, at best that's indentured servitude, at worst its slavery."

"But the charter doesn't say anything about that specific trade."

Celestia glanced down at her. "And it doesn't need to. Illegal services are still against the law. You can't, for example, trade illegal drugs for a giant dog."

Twilight seemed to think about that for a moment. "Oh, okay. So drugs and slavery are not allowed there. Because it's already against the law, right?"

"Yes." Celestia decided then and there, that she would never allow Twilight to be in charge of any festivals involving goods being traded or sold... Some days she really thought that making Twilight a full fledged princess was a mistake. As adorable and loving as Twilight was, she was not good material for a ruler as her own moral compass was sometimes completely broken. It must have been all the comic books she read growing up.

They paused at a local seller who had a few shelves of books set up. Celestia perked up upon seeing them. "Oh, Twilight, look at this."

Twilight trotted by her side. "Book!"

"Yes, Twilight, books. You love books don't you?"

Twilight beamed. "I love book."

Celestia began to feel something was off. "Twilight, its books. You mean to say you love books."

Twilight nodded. "I love book. Many book."

Celestia noticed the curious gaze of the seller. She quickly lifted Twilight off the ground in her golden aura and examined Twilight's head. "Hmm... no, you’re not damaged." She set Twilight down. "Twilight, do you like your friends?"

"I love my friends."

"And do you like books?"

"I love book."

Okay, mildly broken it was then. She turned back to the books for sell. It was better to ignore Twilight's... odd moments. "Let's find some good books for us then."

Together the pair of them looked through the books that were available for sale. Of course, Celestia already owned all the books here, but she wasn't sure that Twilight had the same. Watching her she waited for Twilight's response. Carefully watching that serious expression as Twilight read through the titles of the books. Once she saw Twilight's eyes rise slightly and her mouth part just a little. She knew something was found. Twilight's horn lit up and surrounded in a pink aura an old brown leather tome pulled free from the shelf. She examined it as if it was the most precious artifact in the world.

Celestia followed her gaze and had to admit, she was onto something. Celestia read the title aloud, "The Dark Days of Starswirl the Bearded."

Twilight glanced up at the merchant. "How much for this piece?"

The merchant chuckled to himself. "That old thing? Why, it's only worth about fifty gold bits."

Twilight seemed to instinctively reach for her purse, paused and then looked up at Celestia sheepishly. Celestia offered a warm smile, her horn lit up and the requested amount of gold bits appeared in the air. She left them on the table. "I believe that should be sufficient."

The merchant quickly swept up the bits with a foreleg and put them into his safe. "You two enjoy the new book, you hear."

The two of them walked away. Twilight was bouncing in place and reading her book. Celestia looked back once more to see if anypony else was going to stop by the merchant's shop. She saw the merchant watching her, for a brief moment his eyes seemed to glow yellow. She blinked and just like that the merchant and the stall both were gone, as if they’d never been there. Yet Twilight was still holding the book and reading it. Celestia frowned, she only knew one creature of chaos who might vanish that quickly after selling something, and a sour taste was left in her mouth upon thinking about if the book Twilight was reading now was actually safe or not.

Well, they'd have to cross that bridge once they got to it. For now it was time to continue enjoying her date with Twilight. As the two of them walked through the merchant square there were many shops they stopped at. One where they got some sweet candies. One where a pony with an equals sign as a cutie mark was standing on a podium and talking about some new church of Equality. Celestia made a mental note to remember that as she could sense there was something wrong with the mare. Something had drained her normal magical energy, but the mare seemed happy enough, perhaps it was just some sickness she had. Though it was never good to completely overlook such oddities. Finally they picked up a few new hats and dresses. Of course they couldn't carry all of this stuff with them everywhere, so aside from a cute pair of matching sun hats for them she teleported the rest of the junk they bought back to the Bluebird manor. She briefly wondered if Rarity would enjoy looking at the dresses they got for some inspiration or something.

While walking down the open streets with Twilight by her side the two of them enjoyed some vanilla ice cream. It was a nice, warm day, and so far everything had gone well. She was positive she could call this a successful date so far. Looking at Twilight it was clear the mare was entirely obsessed with this venture as well.

Well that was true until they got to the library and saw a sign saying it was closed for renovations. Celestia looked down at her lovely lavender wife and it was clear that her demeanor had sagged somewhat. Though she still smiled, it wasn't as full as it was before. Celestia's heart broke inside, she'd planned this for some time now, and to think she was stopped by some silly closed sign was just too hard to handle. Of course something had to go wrong.

Celestia wasn't going to make a scene here though. She just lowered her head and apologized. "I'm sorry, my love."

Twilight shook her head. "It's fine. My date isn't ruined or anything. I'm just happy to get to spend time with you."

Celestia smiled down at her. Then Twilight's words hit her like a knife to the kidney. "Ruined."

Twilight nuzzled into Celestia's side. "No, it's not. Come on, we can do something else together right?"

Celestia raised her head. She couldn’t let Twilight see how much this revelation pained her. If she did, it would risk Twilight being hurt. No, she must stay strong for Twilight's sake. What would she do instead though? Well there was always one place she could go to read books, have an excellent choice of them, and relax at Twilight's side in privacy too boot. Celestia's horn lit up with a holy golden aura. "I will make this date amazing."

They teleported to the Crystal Castle and straight into the library. There Celestia and Twilight were able to enjoy as many books as the solar princess demanded and in the privacy of only each other's company. Few ponies had access to this place, fewer still would bother reading here. So it was with some joy that Celestia and Twilight went about looking for some books to read.

Much to Celestia's surprise, Twilight's taste had evolved somewhat. They were going through the romance section now, specifically looking for any gay romances they could find. There weren't as many as Celestia would have thought at first. It took some time but they got a nice stack of them and retreated to find a nice table. Celestia had one particular spot in mind. Her own personal favorite spot to read in the castle was a corner alcove that had a curved circular couch that was just right for her to lounge on. A large table with a red cloth covering it and a heater underneath it was designed with the intent of sticking your legs under to stay warm on cold days. Considering how close they were to the frozen north, this was a device that would normally see use every day if not for the restrictions of being able to visit here.

What Celestia didn't expect was for somepony to already be here. Staring out the window with a flushed face was Shining Armor. He had his lower half completely covered by the table and was looking pleased with himself. She figured that sometimes those stallion parts might feel good with a heater directly on them. Celestia knew she particularly enjoyed that feeling... not that she'd ever do something like that in such a public place. The thought alone was... shameful.

The two of them took a seat nearby Shining Armor and he nearly jumped seeing them. There was thud from under the table when he moved and he quickly spoke. "Celestia, Twilight, I didn't expect you two to come here. I thought you were going to the main library."

Celestia stuck her legs under the table. "Mmm, yes, well that would have been nice but it was closed for renovations."

Twilight stuck her legs under the table and her eyes widened. "WOW! It's so hot under there. It's like a secret little hot box."

Celestia looked over at Twilight. "No more hot boxing for you, Twilight."

Twilight groaned. "I didn't mean to get high, that was a mistake."

Shining Armor laughed. "Well, it was, gaaahh."

Celestia looked over at him. His face was oddly flushed even for this table. His hooves curled at the top of the table. It almost looked like he was in pain. Something touched Celestia's leg. She did her best not to react. Instead she lowered her head to the side, lifted up the tablecloth so she could look underneath it and frowned. "Oh, hello Cadance."

Cadance did her best to reply with a... shall we say full mouth. "Mphm mmm."

Celestia pulled her head back up and gave Shining Armor a devious look. "I see. Is it hot down there?"

Twilight blinked. "Why is Cadance down there? Can I see?"

She stopped Twilight from looking. Her previous interest in her brother might cause a problem. "No, you are not allowed to look."

Celestia then allowed herself a devious laugh. "I have a better idea." She slipped under the table herself. "Twilight, be a dear and spread your legs open please."

If Shining Armor and Cadance were going to try and ruin her spot, she was just going to have to take it back. By being just as bad as these two. Oh poor Twilight never stood a chance.

Much to Celestia's surprise there was more than enough room down here under the table. In large part to the fact the floor sunk in for the heating system to work properly. It was hot, humid and smelled very musky. Looking over at Cadance whose mouth was stuffed full of Shining’s unmentionable, Celestia knew this was the perfect opportunity to show her adopted daughter, and niece, a combination she refused to think off too hard about, exactly how it was done.

Celestia grabbed Twilight's spread legs and pulled her under the table cloth just enough so that everything that was juicy and tasty was ready for her. Celestia could be just as giving as she was hungry so it wasn't with any surprise or shock when she moved her head down to Twilight's nethers and began to lick the mare with reckless abandon. The small area was easily consumed by Celestia's large, hot tongue. Poor Twilight wasn't as good at hiding her pleasure as Shining Armor was and small muffled moans were escaping her lips with every lick.

Cadance gave Celestia a small glare and began to work her head up and down Shining at a faster face. Her horn lit up and Shining Armor was the next one to moan loudly. Oh that cheater, you can't use magic in this game. Celestia was going to make Twilight cum before Shining Armor. The race as it were, was on.

Celestia was still learning Twilight's body, so she was at a distinct disadvantage, yet she knew a few tricks that every mare loved. Celestia dug her tongue in deep and felt it as Twilight’s entire body jerked and twisted in her grasp. Celestia's hooves stroked either side of Twilight's flanks and drew circles there.

Twilight was trying to speak. "C-C-Celestia, are, me and my brother, ah, ahh yes, there, lick me there! Harder!"

Celestia took the cue and worked harder and faster only to be rewarded with Twilight's loud, unhidden moans. Shining Armor was moaning alongside, his hips were bucking against Cadance. Yet Cadance didn’t give up, her hoof lifted up to cradle his undercarriage. He seemed to react favorably to this. Well Celestia wasn't quitting yet. She activated her trap card, tongue twister.

Twilight let out a loud scream. "Make me Cummy, mommy!"

Celestia's tongue went deeper and further than it ever had before on Twilight and she was rewarded with Twilight's entire body spamming as a sudden, hard orgasm took her by force. Celestia pulled back just in time to let Twilight's body convulse on its own. Unfortunately Celestia might have gone too far because she was rewarded with a squirt of Twilight’s love juices landing on her face, neck and chest.

She glanced over just in time to realize that Cadance had forgotten their race. She'd lost of course, but the victory was meaningless if Cadance looked lost in ecstasy. It was only a moment later that Shining Armor screamed. "Make me cummy, mommy!"

Oh by Celestia's own name, not him too. He gave a hard thrust and Cadance's eyes widened. She quickly pulled her head back, and a fountain of his seed spread out and covered Cadance, the underside of the table, Twilight's legs and flank, and even Celestia's body. It took several long seconds of her sitting there and doing her best not to feel absolutely filthy that she realized Cadance was laughing at her.

Celestia growled. "I will get you for this."

"Oh, Auntie, relax, it's good that we're... we're... Um... Twilight, what the buck are you doing?"

Celestia looked over to see Twilight had climbed under the table, or well, it looked more like she slipped and fell under the table. She was licking her flank clean of her own brother's... um... well, okay, this was a mistake. When Twilight went to licking Celestia clean, her eyes darting over to the exposed sight of her brother's intimate parts the whole time that it was clear, Celestia made a big oops.

Twilight looked directly into Cadance's eyes and with a mouth dripping with white sticky substance she said, "Mmm, so this is what my nieces and nephews taste like."

Celestia's horn lit up with golden light and the two of them teleported directly into the bathtub back in Blue Bird Manor.

Mistakes had been made.