Not Quite Paizuri

by CassandraMyOCisBestpony

Rating: mature
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Carrot Top, Porn
Length: 3820

When Derpy asks what "paizuri" is, Carrot Top has to get creative to show her.

How do you explain "paizuri" when you lack the anatomy to demonstrate it? That's the challenge facing Carrot Top when Derpy asks what paizuri is, and can't seem to get it from just a verbal description. Carrot Top will have to figure out some way to explain it, even if it means getting up close & personal with Derpy's breasts.

Note that this is Humanized, but it is NOT futa.

Coverart by Assentlov

Published 2021-08-18 23:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-31 23:32:52 UTC

Learning by Doing

“Derpy, why are you in your underwear?” Carrot Top was no stranger to seeing Derpy without some or all of her clothes - the carefree blonde had no hangups if it was just the two of them, and through one contrivance or another seemed to lose her clothes quite often. Still, Carrot Top’s curiosity got the best of her every time, and it definitely wasn’t because of Derpy’s big round bubble butt that stuck out prominently, just begging for a smack or a squeeze, or her delectable F-cup breasts, so big and beautiful and a wonder to behold no matter how many times... because Carrot Top was strictly Derpy’s roommate, and friend WITHOUT benefits.

“Oh, I got blueberry juice on my shirt” replied Derpy, engrossed in the blueberry muffins she was working on.

“And your skirt?” asked Carrot Top, backing up as Derpy bent down and opened the oven, the oven, lest she be bounced backwards by Derpy’s prominent ass.

“I got juice on it while I was trying to clean off my shirt.” As one does. Satisfied with the muffin batter, Derpy filled each cup of her muffin tin, then slid it into the oven. She closed the door and turned to face Carrot top. “Carrot, can I ask you something?” Derpy’s rear was a sight one could drink in for days, but her front was just as delightful. Her big breasts were so tantalizingly framed by the purple frilly bra she was wearing, with just the slightest bit of pink areola peeking out, drawing in with a pull that few could hope to resist.

“Anything,” replied Carrot Top almost before the question had left Derpy’s lucious, kissable lips - a response that was definitely not spurred by lust.

“What’s paizuri?” It was fortunate that Carrot Top wasn’t drinking anything, because she almost certainly would have spat it out on Derpy. Not that a dripping wet, half-naked Derpy would be the worst thing in the world... is what someone with feelings for Derpy would think.

“Why...why are you asking?” stammered Carrot Top

“When I was on shift, a guy came into the bakery and wanted a pie. When I asked what kind he wanted, he said ‘paizuri.’ Then some of the other customers started laughing, but Sugar Belle got really mad, and told him to get out and never come back. I tried to ask her what kind of pie ‘pie-zuri’ is, but she wouldn’t tell me, and her face got super red. Yeah, like that.” Carrot Top was trying and failing hard to keep a poker face. Derpy really had no idea how hot she was (to people who wanted to be more than friends/roommates, that is), all attempts to explain it to her had fallen flat - her bubble of ditzy obliviousness was truly impenetrable.

“Paizuri is…” Carrot top took a deep breath, trying to come up with the best way to explain it, “well, it’s titfucking. A boobjob”

“Huh?” said Derpy, cocking her head. Stars above, she was cute when she did that, thought Carrot Top idly.

“It’s when a guy takes his...thing, and puts it between a girl’s br-boobs,” Carrot top stumbled, trying not to linger on Derpy’s cleavage for too long, “And she sort of squeezes them together while moving up and down his, er, shaft.” Derpy pursed her lips and looked up to the side - or as close to that as she could with both eyes - clearly trying and failing to understand. She asked the question Carrot Top was dreading,

“Show me?” That was going to be a problem, as neither of them were equipped with the anatomy to make for a “live” demonstration. She briefly considered calling up one of her male friends, but she had no interest in any of them doing it to her, and the thought of one of them giving it to Derpy made her… jealous almost. Which was ridiculous, why would she care if Derpy ended up wanting to have a kind of sex she couldn’t provide? At any rate, Carrot would have to improvise something.

“Can I borrow your rolling pin?”

“Of course” said Derpy cheerfully, passing it to her roommate.

“So it’s sort of like this…” Carrot Top removed her tank top - she could bring herself to be shirtless for a little bit when the only person watching was a deflowered Derpy - and inserted the rolling pin into what little cleavage she had, hoping the elastic on her bra would hold it in place. She put her hands on either side of her chest and pushed her small breasts together with as much force as she could without it hurting. “You wrap your boobs around it like this, and… hang on, almost got it.” Try as she might, Carrot Top was barely getting a grip on the wooden implement. “And then you do things like move them up and down, roll them around, or- shit, I’m losing it.” The rolling pin slipped out and clattered to the floor, Carrot Top cringed at the loud noise it made.

“I don’t think this is working,” commented Derpy

“I know,” sighed Carrot Top, “I should’ve known I couldn’t do anything with my tiny tits”

“Hey, don’t talk about yourself like that,” said Derpy sternly. Carrot Top couldn’t quite believe it, but Derpy was actually scolding her. “Your body is beautiful, and your boobs are so cute.” For emphasis, she reached out and squeezed one of Carrot Top’s breasts, eliciting a surprised squeal from the redhead. “Any guy would be lucky to have them.”

“Too bad I’m not into guys,” thought Carrot Top. “Hold on a minute, where did that come from?” The answer was quite obvious - she had dated guys before, and had gotten as far as 3rd base with some (in the end the relationships all died for one reason or another), but it never felt as electric as it did right now. Time slowed down as Derpy’s soft hands caressed her bosom, grazing over her goosebumped skin with her fingernails, and at last, Carrot Top had a very sexy epiphany: She liked girls; sweet & caring ones with soft skin, cute faces, and a smile that could light up a room. And a girl just like that, with the body of a sex goddess, was standing mostly naked, right in front of her, complimenting her body while full-on groping her. Could it get any better than this?

“Put your arm between my boobs.” Apparently it could get better.

“O-okay, but why?”

“Because I figured out why it wasn’t working,” said Derpy, beaming proudly, “we were using a wooden thing instead of a body part. I don’t think I’ll get it unless I paizuri your arm… can I?”

“YES!” said Carrot Top, a lot louder than she intended, but who could blame her - all the feelings that she’d been suppressing since the day they first met were bubbling to the surface, and the things she denied fantasizing about were playing out right in front of her. Derpy took ahold of Carrot Top’s right hand and guided it up and under her bra strap, covering everything from Carrot Top’s palm to elbow between her big breasts. Carrot Top hummed in pleasure, her arm completely engulfed in softness, Derpy’s bra forcing her breasts to stay wrapped around Carrot Top’s arm.

“And you said to move them up and down, right?” asked Derpy

“I did say that, didn’t I?” replied Carrot Top, still in stunned disbelief that she was getting up close and personal with Derpy’s tits. Derpy crossed her arms under her bustline and hefted up her breasts - they were too big to fully hold with just her hands. This also pinned Carrot Top’s arm even harder against her bountiful chest, which Carrot was perfectly fine with. Derpy used her crossed arms to lift & drop her breasts, rubbing them up and down Carrot’s arm. “Oh... Derpy, this feels amazing!”

“Is it supposed to feel good?” asked Derpy, as she continued to squish her boobs into Carrot Top’s arm

“So good” muttered Carrot Top. She was becoming weak on her knees from the pleasure. The haze was so thick that Carrot Top forgot she was looped into Derpy’s bra. So when she lowered herself to the floor for a breather, she pulled Derpy down with her. Derpy dropped with a cute “eep!” of surprise, and landed boobs-first on Carrot Top. “Oh my gosh Derpy, I’m so sorry!” said Carrot Top, trying her best to look serious while suppressing the pleasure she was getting from Derpy lying on top of her.

“I’ll be alright” said Derpy, “but my bra is just getting in the way.” With that, she reached behind her back and undid the hooks, dropping off her bra and fully revealing her incredible breasts.

“Wow” muttered Carrot Top. No matter how many times she saw them, they still made her jaw hit the floor. Derpy’s breasts were near perfect in shape and surprisingly perky for their size, with just the right amount of gravity to show off their heft. Carrot already knew they were soft, but seeing how Derpy’s hands and her own arm practically sank into them made the sensation of touching them all the more pleasurable. And their size was only exaggerated from Carrot Top’s vantage point with Derpy sitting straddled on top of her.

“So you said I could also roll my boobs around your arm?” Carrot Top could only nod in response. Derpy took ahold of her bare breasts and squeezed them together, and began moving them in circles, stimulating Carrot Top’s arm even further. Carrot Top could still hardly believe what she was seeing; Derpy playing with her enormous boobs, making them jiggle and contort with every movement. Not to mention the feeling, her arm now completely buried in them was feeling the soft pleasure all over. If she could stay like this forever, she’d have all she needed. So she felt a palpable disappointment when Derpy paused, but it wouldn’t be for long “What’s the third thing?” asked Derpy

“Huh?” asked Carrot Top, resting her arm on Derpy’s generous breast shelf, and focusing everything on not shamelessly groping her.

“You said that the girl giving paizuri can go up & down, or roll them around, and then you dropped the rolling pin before you could tell me the third thing.”

“Oh, that...forget about it, there is no third thing.”

“I know you’re lying,” accused Derpy with a knowing grin, “your nipples get hard when you lie.” Indeed, Carrot could see two distinct bumps poking through the cups in her bra.

“Well this is just great” Carrot Top thought, “I either tell her this, or tell her the real reason I’m getting hard.” “Alright, I’ll tell you the third thing. Sometimes the girl will… make it extra pleasurable for the guy by, well, sucking on it….I’m sorry, that’s way too weird, you don’t have to do it.. sorry” She cringed, suddenly feeling as shy as the local animal caretaker, who incidentally was one of Carrot Top’s best customers on account of all the bunnies, and one of the only girls in Ponyville who could stack up to Derpy in the boob department.

“Is that all it is?” asked Derpy, “Give me your left arm this time, your right arm must be getting tired after holding it up for so long.” Carrot Top’s heart fluttered with affection, Derpy was not only smoking hot, and down for all kinds of breastplay, but so caring too. Carrot Top gave over her left arm, which Derpy took between her breasts. She took Carrot Top’s index & middle fingers into her mouth and began to suck. Derpy’s lips caressed her fingers while her mouth held them in a tight & wet embrace. It was a little weird, like Carrot Top had feared, but not entirely in a bad way. Derpy’s tongue was sensuous and dainty despite her large appetite for muffins, and she ran it slowly over the ridges and contours of Carrot Top’s fingers. ”Mmmm, tastes like oranges” said Derpy, switching between each of Carrot Top’s five fingers.

“You don’t know what you do to me, Derpy” thought Carrot Top. She was really having to work to suppress a pleasured moan, thinking of all the other things she wished Derpy would do with her mouth. To say nothing of the titty heaven her arm was in, that feeling alone could bring her to orgasm. There was no getting around it, if this continued much longer, Carrot Top would have to excuse herself to go finish in private. At just the right moment, Derpy stopped sucking. But she was looking very concerned.

“Carrot, you’re not getting off to this, are you?”

Author's Note

Uh-oh, looks like our hero is BUST-ed! Is this the end of her? Stay tuned and find out.

Finishing What you Started

Carrot Top’s heart practically leapt out of her chest with panic - there was no way around it, she was completely busted. She forced herself to look past Derpy’s huge breasts and into her crooked amber eyes, which were giving away nothing about Derpy’s reaction, good or bad.

“N-no!” she stammered out hastily, “that's silly, why would I be getting off to this? But if this is making you uncomfortable…”

“But the guy usually gets off to paizuri, doesn’t he?” asked, Derpy as though she hadn’t even heard anything after “no.”

“Er, yes, I would imagine he does get off to a hot girl- to this,” she replied with a quick correction at the end.

“So if I don’t make you cum, then I’m not doing it right, right?”

“I... can’t find a hole in your logic, Derpy” answered Carrot Top; admittedly she hadn’t looked very hard, “but for real, you don’t have to do anything if you don’t w- mmph.” Carrot was unable to finish her sentence on account of Derpy’s tongue in her mouth. Derpy had wasted no time at all in laying down on top of Carrot Top and kissing her. She moved her tongue all over Carrot Top’s mouth, teasing her tongue, her teeth, and the roof of her mouth, all the while firmly keeping her lips pressed against Carrot Top’s. And not forgetting her breasts - they were pressed firmly up against Carrot’s meager & still-clothed chest, but no mere piece of clothing could disguise their wonderful softness. Carrot moaned into Derpy’s mouth - there was no reason to hold back anymore, and her soaked panties gave her secret away. She eagerly returned Derpy’s kiss, playfully wrestling her tongue with Derpy’s. She moaned in protest when Derpy pulled back.

“What else can we do to help you get off?”

“Would you… take off my bra?” asked Carrot Top. She was ready to give all of herself over to Derpy, body insecurities be damned.

“Of course!” said Derpy. To Carrot Top’s great surprise, Derpy didn’t use her fingers, but rather leaned into Carrot’s cleavage, centimeters away from outright burying her face in it, and unfastened the hooks with her teeth.

“Wh-where did you learn to do that???” stammered Carrot Top as she felt Derpy’s hot breath on her now exposed breasts.

“I ‘unno, just something I know how to do,” said Derpy with a shrug.

“Suck on them?” asked Carrot Top cautiously. Derpy simply nodded in response and took one of Carrot Top's breasts in her mouth. Carrot Top gasped at the new sensation - she had never let anyone do this (and she certainly couldn’t to herself) but it felt so much better than any pair of hands. And Derpy really knew how to work her tongue, swirling it around Carrot Top’s areola and flicking her nipple in a way that drove Carrot Top crazy. “O-oh Derpy, I’m close!” exclaimed Carrot Top. Derpy gave one final hard suck, and released Carrot Top’s breast with a *pop*

“I’ll help you finish” offered Derpy, sucking on her own fingers to wet them, her intentions obvious.

“Do it,” said Carrot Top.

“Two fingers ok?” asked Derpy, “or do you want just one since it’s your first time?” Carrot Top was certain she’d never told Derpy that. At any other time, she would’ve started blushing profusely and adamantly denying it (and probably tipped her hand with a "how did you know?") But now, with years of pent up sexual urges all boiling to the surface at once, she felt more than lust, she felt certainty; that there wasn’t anyone else in Equestria that she wanted to give her virginity to. So there was no shame in being completely open.

“It is my first time,” she admitted, “but I’m wet enough that I can take two.”

“Ooh that’s convenient,” said Derpy. It didn’t seem like she had quite put 2 and 2 together, but Carrot Top was way too horny to care. Derpy stripped off Carrot Top’s panties and with two fingers, stroked Carrot’s lower lips gingerly, each rub sending shockwaves of pleasure from Carrot’s vagina up through her entire body. With her free hand, she gently gently separated Carrot Top’s lower lips and pushed her fingers in. Carrot Top squeaked with delight as she felt Derpy's slender fingers penetrating her well-lubed vulva,

"Ohhhh yes Derpy right there!" She had expected Derpy to just go in-and-out with reckless abandon like a gamer mashing buttons (or like Carrot did to herself, to a passable amount of pleasure), but to her surprise, Derpy had some real technique; she moved her fingers from side-to-side, seeming to know exactly where to hit to drive her crazy. Every little movement unlocked long-buried sapphic love deep inside of Carrot Top

"Am I doing it right?" asked Derpy.

"I-I-think so..." stammered out Carrot Top, her voice wavering,

"Oh, good, 'cause I'm just winging this. Would it feel good if I knead your clit like delicate pastry?" she asked.

"Fuck yes!"

"Okay!" Derpy inserted her fingers as far in as they would go. She found Carrot Top's clitoris with suprising ease, and began to stroke. The effect was instant, slamming into Carrot Top like a tsunami of pleasure. She could feel the ridges on Derpy's fingers caressing her delicately, and every movement just stoked the flames of passion.

“D-derpy?” asked Carrot Top, her moans of satisfaction punctuating her speech

“Yes, little muffin?”

“C-can I touch your breasts to he-ELP me orgasm?”

“Huh? Touching my boobs makes you feel good?” asked Derpy, grabbing her breast with her free hand and giving it a squeeze. Oh goddess, the forbidden fruit was two ripe cantaloupes and Carrot Top wanted it now.

“More than annnnnythiiiiiing” said Carrot Top passionately. “Real smooth, Carrot Top" she chided herself, "now she thinks that I'm some kind of sex-starved boob fiend. And I guess I am, but still."

“Well why didn’t you say so? asked Derpy, not an ounce of judgement in her tone, "If you like them that much, then touch them all you like!" She brushed her beautiful blonde hair out of the way. Breathing heavily, Carrot Top raised up her shaking hands and placed them on Derpy's wonderful breasts. Soft, plush, amazing, incredible; all sort of words floated around in her head, hardly doing justice to the elation Carrot Top was feeling. They really were just as perfect as she'd imagined they would be. Having her arm wrapped by them really couldn't hold a candle to the pleasure she got from touching them with her own two hands. As she squeezed into them until she felt them pushing back, she marveled at how they were like the perfect cushion for her hands- sinking in just enough to embrace her hand, but offering the right amount of firmness to support her. And their sheer size - saying they were huge was easy, but Carrot Top could now see that you could only truly understand by comparing them to the size of your hands - Carrot Top's were far from sufficient to cover Derpy's breasts. But she was more than happy to try. Idly, she wondered if they were as heavy as they were big. She moved her hands down to lift them up from below - Derpy's skin was really soft in the underbob area - and hefted them up.

"So this is what it's like to have big boobs" thought Carrot Top, "these've got some serious weight to them." As if reading her mind, Derpy said

"I've been meaning to ask, is it ok if I go bra-less around the house sometimes? Only when it's just the two of us of c- ooh!" exclaimed Derpy as Carrot Top's pussy squirted out a small spurt. Not surprisingly, Carrot Top found it quite pleasing to imagine Derpy prancing around in just a slightly-too-small shirt, her nipples poking out, and her boobs jiggling unconstrained; a white shirt that, when in bright light, hid absolutely nothing. That, combined with her falcon grip on those very same breasts she was lusting after, and the loving she was getting from the sweetest & sexiest girl she'd ever known, was all she needed to finish. She gave Derpy's breasts one last firm squeeze as hard as she dared to.

"DERPYYYYYYY!!!" she cried as her pussy erupted, coating all of Derpy's hand and a good deal of her arm too.

She woke up to the sweet smell of oven-fresh muffins, and to Derpy - she'd put her bra back on but nothing else - bent down on the floor, scrubbing Carrot Top's love juices off of the floor. Derpy's heavy breasts jiggled alluringly with every little scrubbing motion, and and she looked incredibly sexy down on all fours, but Carrot Top felt a tinge of guilt about the mess. She picked herself up of the floor

"Derpy, let me get that for you, that's my... cum, I should be doing that "

"Don't worry about it, it's the least I could do after you helped me learn about paizuri."

“So, Derpy, I have to ask…”

“Yes?”

“Now that you know what paizuri is, are you gonna, y’know, do it to a guy?” Carrot Top steeled herself for the disappointing affirmative answer - better to just rip the band-aid off.

“Nope, I’m not into guys, I just wanted to know what it was," she said nonchalantly. "Anyways, I finished the muffins while you were asleep - have one," she said, pointing to a tray on the counter. Carrot Top selected one and took a bite - it warm, airy, and sweet - the girl may be a ditz, but she could bake like no one's business.

"How is it?" asked Derpy "and be honest."

"It's delicious. Generously-sized, right in the sweet spot between softness and firmness. Derpy, your muffins are perfect."

Author's Note

There ya go, that's my two-shotter. Give a thumbs up if you like Derpy's muffins