Years Ago...

...
...
...

For a moment, the world---no, the universe was blank.

The spell had burst before she could use it. It overwhelmed her. A crater was left where common sense once ruled.

"I'm seeing a whole lot of white."

As time went on, reality rushed in to fill the gap.

It didn't count on irrationality to beat it to the punch.

"Dizzyyyy. My head is spinning..."

Nothing made sense. And yet, everything made sense. It was a paradox in the form of a two-headed duck.

"What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere!"

"Fur-less bipeds! False information! Two universes, one bland, one colorful! So many voices!"

"So... many..."

On a clear day, you could see forever. Without a clear mind, Sugarplum Spotlight saw past it.

She saw events before they happened, things beyond her understanding, and understood them anyway. Another paradox, this one quacking in support of a business.

She witnessed something she didn't like, snorting. Voices around her spoke, but she didn't care.

"That's what awaits me? Sanity by a dream?"

Creation of the humanoid

"That's good, but I can do better."

Power to overwhelm and destroy

"You out there. Sitting behind your fancy typewriter and fake mirror. Yes, you. The one who let the over-caffeinated child run roughshod over me."

The predator of a tortured brain

"For someone who claims to love humor, I was a walking pile of Cerebus, wasn't I? Much too serious. Much too serious."

Your feelings of helplessness are your best friend, savage

"Give me an end appropriate for sci-fi magical pony fluff. Past your self-imposed laws about what is and what isn't."

All was silence before a technical smile broke it, broad as the sun but scaring everypony away. Illudere embraced her newfound outlook on life.

"...And let's turn this world up-start-down."

Immediately following the transfer of Quarter's old Cutie Mark to Project Ashes...

...

"Did you seriously name your crab 'Ralph'?"

"Yeppy!"

"Why?"

"Because I was eating cookies when I---"

"Never mind. Calling TMI."

Illudere stayed quiet the rest of the trip back up the tower. Her superhero didn't want her to elaborate, so she didn't elaborate. She didn't understand why. After all, Ralph was perfectly good name for a crab.

She returned to her assigned suite, disguising herself as a security guard or a servant to avoid suspicion. She didn't recall which she picked: she just recalled that it worked.

She put Ralph back in his terrarium, making sure that it was clean and that he had everything he needed. "There's my little pincer-happy baby," she cooed at him. "Who's a good boy? You are. Never let the world forget it, you ensemble dark horse you."

Illudere was never sure what he thought of everything that was happening, but he always liked hanging on to her mane. She never noticed the pain that came from that activity, having long grown desensitized towards it. He was happy doing that, and as long as he was happy, she was happy.

She brushed and flossed her teeth, but went straight to her bed without washing up or even changing out of the tattered off-white dress she wore. For ten minutes or so she laid there on top of the blankets, eyes open and seeing nothing. Her tail lashed as if she was impatient for something to happen.

At last, a voice tickled her ears. Nopony would hear it, and nopony would understand it even if they did. As somepony whose marbles were not only lost but shattered, she understood it fully. It felt like an autumn breeze, a field of stars on a cloudless night, with nopony around for miles.

Beyond our scope, out at the precipice of the unknown...

"Oh, I hear you," Illudere whispered. "They can't see what I see. Is there a word beyond 'everything'? That's it. They hated me. They hated me because I went Mongul on the fish-robot's sorry derriere. They were quick to see the connection." She closed her eyes as she savored that memory.

After seven minutes of silence, she opened her eyes and spoke again. "You want to know what my all-consuming wish is? To play this world a lullaby and send it off to sleep." She whickered. "Yes. Music. Yes. I want to let the beat hit them and allow the music to take control, place the groove in the heart. You see where I'm going with this. What can I say? This is the life."

Another fifteen minutes of quiet ensued before her mouth opened again. "You all have your definitions of what's canon. Happy endings, where the robot goes home, blows up Dr. Lava Lamp and lives happily ever after. Bittersweet endings where the robot goes home, but can no longer see any of her friends. Downer endings where the robot gets destroyed by that incarnation of a child's crime boss. Any universe where your favorite two ponies get together and start kissing is cemented in your minds, while any of them that isn't can rot in Tartarus. That's how canon works, right?"

Illudere's hoof traced random patterns across her blanket. “All of you can keep imagining if that’s what helps you sleep at night. You can deny it all you want, but this world's not under your control anymore. Tonight..."

Illudere's teeth became visible. Brilliantly white and clean, they were the only part of herself that she bothered taking care of. Her lips stretched beyond the constraints of her muzzle, past her eyes and up to her ears. It seemed impossible that so many teeth could exist in one pony’s mouth.

"...it's under mine.”

...

From there she took very brief naps, never falling asleep entirely. Once she was positive that Ralph had a satisfactory rest of his own, she rolled off her bed and went to retrieve him. Let's make some noise.

An alert blared in Ignition's ear as the radio next to his bed jarred him awake. He took a few seconds to gather his wits about him before answering, knowing that alertness would only aid his decisions. "Ignition here. What is it?"

The voice of one of the tower's security guards answered him. -"Sir, it's an emergency. The sub-basement was broken into. The contents of Safe CJ-1 have been stolen!"-

...! "Details," Ignition snapped, doing his best to conceal his dread. The safes designated "CJ" were the ones that contained the Crown Jewels. If they were stolen and mis-used somehow before First Quarter's goals could be made manifest...

-"I've just finished questioning all of the guards on this floor. All of them reported feeling overwhelmingly tired fifteen minutes ago and collapsing where they were. When they woke up, all of CJ-1's defenses were removed, the door was lying on its side, and the safe was empty. Safes CJ-2 and 3 were untouched."-

Ignition considered this. There were a number of unicorns on their payroll, and it only took one of them to undo the safe's enchantments. However, none of them knew sleep spells that he was aware of. The reports that had been compiled on them when they were hired were archived in his office, and he'd been through them several times over the years.

It wasn't impossible that they could've just learned the spell in the time since their hiring, but it was unlikely. While the heads of the magitech divisions weren't slave drivers---and he quietly pitied those ponies in the city who had to put up with excessive overtime---the ponies tended to be tired at the end of their shifts. Certainly too tired to try and learn something they viewed as esoteric and beneath their notice.

On a related note, those ponies were hired because they loved the modern age and the idea of both magic and technology being used in conjunction. They weren't going to focus on one over the other: they were called magitechnicians for a reason.

At the same time, there was no one outside of the divisions or Quarter's forces that knew about the Crown Jewels. With that in mind, there was only one suspect. "Sound the alarm," Ignition instructed the guard, anger starting to spill over. "Agent #5 has turned traitor. I repeat, Illudere has turned traitor. Lock down the building. Secure the doors and windows, and don't open them for anyone outside of Lady Quarter. I'll put her and the remaining agents on alert."

-"Yes, sir!"-

Unknown to him, it was already too late. As the alarms blared, Illudere was already galloping down the street as fast as she could run. The heavy Jewel she was toting, a real behemoth of a lime-green emerald slab, wasn't hindering her: by drawing on its stored magic, she was making her hooves fly down the sidewalk. There were a few ponies on the street going about their nightly business, but none of them saw anything but a blur.

A few blocks away from Mocha HQ, she disguised herself as a clubber and signaled a taxi. The spell she was using prevented the driver from seeing the emerald. "The Moonlight Slice Dance Hall, mah stallion," she instructed him, sounding no different from any one of a couple hundred different young ponies who perused the facility throughout the night. She dropped a few bits that she'd scrounged up into the coin bin and settled into her seat as the driver took off.

Still hanging on tight to her mane, Ralph made a few pointed gestures with his free pincer. Illudere interpreted his movements appropriately. "What do you mean ah'm not as young as ah used to be?" she answered him in her fake voice. "Ah'll have you know that ponies drop dead in mah very presence!" Well, one pony. And he's technically comatose, not dead. But close enough!

Ralph chose not to press the issue. Neither did the driver, who heard her talking to herself but came to the conclusion that the Moonlight Slice was the right club for a lunatic.

...

The two-story Moonlight Slice was considered to be the city's go-to hangout for youth and young adults who were looking for an out-and-out good time. The biggest thing that set it apart from places like the Lonely Heart nightclub was that it was genuinely high quality, with everything being kept clean and its owners knowing what they were doing when it came to attracting clientele.

But it was still very, very loud. That sort of thing might not have bothered the more resistant or rebellious of them, but more mature ponies were advised to bring earplugs. In another timeline, Echo would've passed by the place and wondered how anyone could stand the noise that came from it. Its closing time of 4a.m. was considered a blessing---it could've easily stayed open until sunrise.

Illudere slipped into the building, shifting her personal illusion to temporarily render herself invisible. As she did, she brushed past a particularly sensitive club-goer. The mare yelped and looked around for the culprit, but saw nopony except the bouncer, who raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't react. "Weird," the mare murmured, shivering. "Maybe mom and dad were right about these kinds of places..."

Illudere ignored her, reverting back to her clubber visage once she was away from the entrance. "It's a beautiful life for the young and proud," she whispered, pupils flicking randomly from side to side. "They think they're living in a happy nation. But I'm going to make them see the sign if I have to flatten them with it."

After a short journey through the building, she arrived at the dance floor. Good crowd on hoof, she considered in a brief moment of lucidity. Decent behavior all around... Her ears swiveled. ...with 'all around' being the key words. The crazy overtook her again. And the crowd's going to be a lot larger by the time I'm finished. There's going to be a bad moon rising at the Slice tonight!

She joined those that were on the floor and did her best to match her movements for the rest of the song. It had been years since she'd done any real dancing, but thankfully her change in mentality hadn't taken the edge off. All the while she could feel the emerald's power through her connection to it, just waiting to be used to the full.

It wasn't long before she saw her opportunity. The song ended, and the red-maned DJ replaced the record. He licked his lips and took a gulp from a glass of water to quench his thirst. Illudere immediately bolted for the table and waved to get his attention. "Hey-yay-yay Mister Dee-Jayyy! Do you take requests?"

The DJ gave her the classic questioning eyebrow. In exchange Illudere gave him her classic deranged smile, though she had the foresight to disguise it as something charming. "I've got just the number to blast the roof right off the building!" she stated enthusiastically. She produced a record and offered it to him. "Trust me on this! It's the real McColt! The sky is the limit, and they'll never come down!"

Those that overheard the request applauded and cheered, not knowing any better. Before long the applause spread to the rest of the crowd. After pondering things over, the DJ shrugged and accepted the record. He read the label to make sure he knew what he was getting into, then set the record and got it started.

And the moment he did, Illudere triggered her masterwork.

The emerald heard her call and answered it. Illudere's intent had been to funnel her spell through it. She would send her intent to the Crown Jewel, and she received magic in return. It would continuously strengthen her and allow her to shape her power in a way that even her alternate self had not been able to do. So what if I don't know the outcome of this? This is my party, and I'll try if I want to!

The first of many magical ribbons wrapped around Illudere before seeping into her horn. Her eyes turned a bright white, and with a loud laugh she unleashed her will on the unsuspecting club.

As the first beats shook the Slice, all attention landed squarely on her. Inexplicably, everypony present felt drawn to the music. Towards Illudere. And towards one of the speakers where Ralph was perched, sporting a tiny little fedora. "One-two, one-two!" the unicorn called into a microphone. "Ill-lou-dare-ray's in the house!"

Heads nodded to the music. Ponies smiled. Those that remembered the name from the newspaper no longer cared as they fell under her influence. Some of them even applauded and got up to join those already on the floor, the DJ among them.

And as they danced, Illudere threw her heart into the song and let it take the lead. As she sang, her off-the-cuff lyrics drowned out and replaced those of the original.

"Grab your partner by the hoof
Toss them up onto the roof
Throw your hooves out just a dab
Boogie-woogie down with the funky crab

"Toss your tails 'round through the air
This ain't canon, but I just don't care
Chime the bells with a ding-a-ling-a-ling
Do the Hocklem fling!"

She had effectively become one with the emerald. Alongside its two partners, it had existed for centuries passively absorbing the magic around it little by little. Until today, it had never seen serious use. But now that she was harnessing its power, it was as she'd told the DJ: the sky was the limit, and they would never come down.

A million possibilities lay before her. As she led the crowd in a dance that she'd choreographed on the spot, a wicked urge began to sprout. If she could get her hooves on the other two Crown Jewels, there was conceivably enough power to reshape the entire world as she wished. It would be a never-ending party, 3 A.M. eternal regardless of daylight.

But for now, she'd settle for bringing the city under her hoof.

...

Her amplified magic ripped through Manehattan in an ever-widening circle. Within a short time the entire city was covered. Illudere's music and mass hypnosis reached the ears of all. Ponies awakened and pulled themselves from their beds, joining the Slice's crowd in dancing without realizing it. Some got it into their heads to find spotlights and aim them towards the night sky. Late-night taxi drivers drifted to a halt, unhitched themselves, and climbed on top of their carriages to join in the festivities.

Gray and her family were among those that were affected by the hypnosis, and even Echo was not exempt. One and all they danced and sang along to the best of their ability, laughing in enjoyment (aside from Fiver, but that was normal). A thought kept trying to wiggle through Gray's head, trying to tell her that something was not right not right not right---but it was too quiet to hear, too weak for her to act on it, and finally it was drowned out.

The city's antagonists were also quick victims of it. Springboard---formerly known as Trifecta---and Statuette were shifting in their cells, trying to move with the music despite their restraints. Like Gray, Bushwhacker had a hunch that he shouldn't be taking part but never acted on it. Ignition and Calico had relocated to Quarter's private lounge, their dance a mirror of the one that had left one infatuated with the other.

...

Only a few were able to resist. Bastion and Gates---who were ordered to go to the Dragon Lands but hadn't left yet---had taken to wearing their armor full-time, and its enchantments allowed them to stave off the worst of Illudere's hypnosis. Quarter's disciplined mind of many centuries let her break through the spell within seconds. Caramel needed some help, but with some coaching from Quarter she was eventually able to focus and move about freely too ("Remember what grandpa taught us!").

And only one being---possessed of a mechanical mind, not a biological one---ignored the hypnosis completely. Though not the music, much to her dismay.

For the love of X! Who's playing that music?! Some of us are trying to sleep here!

I was wanting to rest. I was wanting... to... rest. Being kissed by a sea serpent was a memory that could only be erased by a good night's sleep and a good day's work. But somepony was playing the loudest music in the world and making that impossible. Where in blazes is it coming from? It feels like it's coming from everywhere!

And would somepony explain to me what a "macahula" is?

I grab my discarded helmet and don it, immediately trying to contact Officer Coffee-and-Cream. She's probably at home sleeping, but she should still have her radio. "Officer? Officer!" I shout, trying to make myself heard. "I'd like to report a noise disturbance! ... Officer?!"

-"Oh hey, Leviathan! Is that you?"- Coffee greets me cheerfully. I do a double-take at this: she's never that cheerful. -"Come on down here and join the party! I've got doughnuts here, and we can break some of those candies on them if you'd like!"-

"Uh... no thanks!" Is she not hearing any of this? "Did you hear what I said? I'd like to report a noise disturbance! Somepony's playing horrendously loud music, and it's making it impossible for me to sleep!"

-"Noise disturbance?"- she inquires, sounding perplexed. -"Why would they be making noise? They should be out having a good time! We've got all the music in the world out here!"-

What is this? What even is this? "Officer, I'm serious!"

-"So am I!"- Coffee answers. -"Ain't no crimes being committed anymore! Who needs crime when you've got music? Get down here and jam with me, Levi! My apartment's keeping its doors open!"-

I snarl and cut the transmission. Both hands are over my hears---wait, shouldn't that be 'ears'? I can't even tell anymore, it's too loud! Somepony just stop this already---!

The lights switch themselves on. "Slip 'round on a slippy slide, eat a meal of Naugahyde..."

Oh, no... Drama just meandered into the living room. She's sounding just as taken with the music as Coffee was--- and now I know something's wrong, because this isn't the kind of music she likes! "Drama Heart? ... Drama!"

She doesn't answer me, instead dancing in a circle. Her head's held high, and... is it my imagination, or do her eyes seem the slightest bit glazed over? "Jump outside and call a cab, boogie-woogie down with the funky crab..."

You know what? Fine. I've had enough of this. I'm bothered by the music, but Coffee and Drama aren't. And looking at Drama's expression, something's this side of wrong. I need to drown this out somehow.

I seek out Drama's collection of records and skim through them. Let's see, let's see... here we go: 'Danse Macabre, Op. 40'. Turn on the record player, place the record and the needle, start it up, and crank up the volume as high as it will go...

It takes a bit time for the music to fully sink in, which is about the same time it takes for the melody to kick into gear. Still, it's working. Drama's skipping words, becoming more uncertain. Her dancing is increasingly clumsy, and she almost falls against the back of the couch. There's life returning to her eyes.

Looks like I'm making progress. Let's see if this gets her attention! I bellow at the top of my voice: "Burning Salamandra, it's showtime!"

Her horn glows in response, and her eyes turn red. She goes completely rigid, all four hooves on the floor now. When she next opens her mouth, her teeth are the familiar crystalline drills that once unnerved me. "Wuh... huh? Whatta whatta... what just came over me? Leviathan, what's going on?"

I still have to raise my voice, but at least the unwanted racket's drowned out for now. "Don't ask me! That macahula-whatever is driving me crazy! I just got done calling Coffee, and she thinks she's at a party!"

"...And dare I ask how I was acting?"

"The exact same way!"

This gets her thinking. I don't know how she thinks with this music playing at this volume, because from my perspective noise is still noise. "Hypnosis, maybe? It's an illusion all its own. You said that your Officer friend was behaving weirdly? What's it look like outside?"

I rush to the window and push the shades open. I don't need to say anything: all the lights are on, and it appears that the entire city is awake. Groups of ponies are scattered around, acting in general like they're having a good time... but if they're anything like how Drama was acting, they're not in their right mind. As I look at them, I glimpse several spotlights getting switched on.

...And I've had just about enough of this noise.

Baseline audio set active at 20% power.

There, that's better.

Salamandra's frowning. "Something feels familiar about this," she says, just barely heard over the conflicting music and my decreased sound setup. "Give me a few minutes to think, would you? And keep my music going. If it's disrupting the hypnosis, then I'll need to keep listening to it!"

"I wasn't going to touch it!" I assure her.

...

I turn aside and give Salamandra the space she needs. The irritating song comes to end, only to shift into some dance tune or other about a train. It's tamer than the "macahula" but still annoying to listen to, and I lower my hearing further towards 10%. When the Danse Macabre and its follow-up song finish, I turn the record over to keep the countermeasure active.

How much longer is this going to be? I wonder, palming the sides of my helmet as I sit down in front of the couch. I watch as Salamandra shifts around the room a little, making odd little muttering sounds before she looks back out the window. I think I'm going to go gonzo if this keeps up for much longer. Who in the world devised this sort of torture?

"EUREKA! I made a discovery!"

...I almost forgot: the day we met, she made my ears ring when my volume was set to 7%, and we weren't even in close proximity at the time. At 10% in the same room, her high-pitched shrieks actually hurt. "Ow! Salamandra, what the--- ooof!"

Salamandra tackles me in her excitement, pressing me against the couch. "It's so obvious!" she crows. "The magic carrying the hypnosis is everywhere, but it's all emanating from a single source! What we're hearing now are just the echoes of something much more powerful! It's like the music's a river, and we're all fording it towards the ocean!"

"Terrific!" I shout back, feeling the pressure of the situation starting to get to me. If the echoes are this vivid and clear, what's the source of it like? "Where is it at?! I want to shut it up so that I can get some sleep!"

"Nuh-uh!" she rebukes me, waggling a hoof. No index fingers, but it has the same effect. "Magic's what's causing this, and magic's going to stop it! I'm going to shut it up. You're just going to be coming along as insurance!"

What?! "Salamandra, are you crazy?!"

"YES!"

...Well okay, at least she's admitting it, but still---! "If you go in alone, the one hypnotizing the city is going to manipulate everypony into setting off the mother of all dogpiles!" she blares, not giving me a chance to speak. "Your rusty remains will be found centuries later under a pile of pony skeletons!"

...Dark and unnecessarily twisted, but she has a point. If the citizens are subverted into attacking me, the best I could do would be to defend myself. There's no way I could bring myself to harm any of them. And since I'd be surrounded by thousands upon thousands of ponies, I'd have to flee the city if I wanted any space---leaving them at the mercy of whoever is orchestrating this.

A mental image manifests: an overtaken Gray slashing her gauntlet-clad hooves through my generators. I shake my head to try and clear it, distressed. "What do you have in mind, then? You still need to be cognizant to stop the hypnosis!" I tell her. "I'm not going to have to carry this record player all over the place, am I?!"

She barks a laugh. "Ha! Nothing like that." She jumps off of me, and I stand up quickly in case she gets the idea to tackle me again. "There's only one way to answer grandiosity of this... level..."

There's something not quite right about the way her speech drifted to a stop. She's contemplative, and that's not a good sign. "Salamandra? Are you---"

"Grandiosity," she bites out, stomping a hoof in anger. "I should've realized it from the start! A show of this size? A big flashy display of magic meant to show off? It figures! It figures! Even completely off the deep end, she just couldn't leave well enough alone!"

I don't think I've seen her this mad before. "What's going on?"

Salamandra paces around the living room. "Always feels like she has to draw in the biggest crowds, be the most successful! I never wanted that silly rivalry. It was just something she came up with on her own! She saw me as somepony to match wits with, but I just wanted to entertain!"

"Who?!" I yell. My patience is starting to get awfully thin. "Who's behind this?!"

"She used to be Sugarplum Spotlight," she announces with disgust. "Nowadays, she's no more and none other than Illudere!"

...! I recognize that name. She's one of those that Coffee told me about at my mission briefing! She used to be rivals with her?

"She used to be a flawed but decent pony. Those flaws overcame her because she couldn't let things go!" she continues, her expression darkening further. "She's doing this because she wants to prove herself the superior performer!" And to destroy me, probably; let's not gloss over the good part. "Well, then. If she's not going to resist putting on a show, then I'm going to steal the spotlight and show her a real performance! Work with me on this, Levi dear: I know how to stop her!"

"How?"

I've seen this smile she's giving me before, and it's never really boded well. "'How', you need to ask?" Salamandra asks with a giggle. "Why, with the biggest heartsong this city has ever seen!"

A while later...

The feeling was nibbling at her brain. And for once, it wasn't Ralph yanking at her mane.

Illudere recognized the sensation. It was nostalgic, but at the same time it got both eyes twitching.

Everypony at the Slice was having a good time. Everypony in the city was having a good time. And they were going to keep having a good time if she had anything to say about it.

She'd estimated that everypony would be fully under her control by daybreak. She could then use them as distractions to keep her wonderful superhero of a boss occupied while she made off with the remaining Crown Jewels. With all three of them together used in concert, the party would spread across the planet.

This break from what was true and accurate was beautiful.

And that feeling was ruining it.

She sent her desire into the emerald, gaining the needed magic. She searched the city for the source of that strange sensation, the eyes of the collective serving as her own.

And as the question of what sounds a fox made was answered by the music that was playing, she saw her walking down the center of the street. The robot was at her side---

Illudere's twisted smile would've made those looking at her shiver if anypony had recognized it. "You told me once that you were going to close the book on my fairy tale," she murmured. "Do you still think that? I hope so, because I want to do the same to your horror story." Her last words exited as a drawn-out hiss, emphasizing each syllable. "Sallll-aaaa-mannn-draaaa!"

Drama Heart had been under her control for a time, she felt, but had shaken off the effects and was now coming her way. "I wonder how she set this up," she pondered during a brief window of alertness. She shook her head and smirked. "It's not the focus of the story, I know. But it's enough to keep you wondering, isn't it? A heartsong big enough to hold one of Equestria's oldest artifacts at bay has a whole other story of its own behind it. An additional two, maybe three thousand words?"

She lifted her head and laughed. "But you'll just need to keep guessing. We're at five thousand as it is! Like old times, Salamandra. Give our story an appropriate end! Hit me with your best shot! Fire away!"

Across the city, the fall of rain and a lion's roar answered her.

Their march across the city was steady and unstoppable. The emerald's power coursed around them, but was held back from submerging them by a pony who was more in touch with the music of reality than anypony else in Manehattan.

Leviathan shook her head in bemusement. "This is the strangest mission I've ever undergone, but if it puts a stop to all of this noise, I won't protest in the least," she muttered as she walked.

Salamandra didn't answer: she was already singing.

"A journey through the night
a battle of the music, both good and evil
A trip down through the hearts
is how you get to digging and start to do your part

I know a thing or two about raising the dead
I walk the paths that nopony else will dare to tread~!"

"This is a challenge to the one who threatens this city's well-being," Leviathan warned, her normal voice caught in the currents of the heartsong and lowered to a point where several on-lookers were swooning. "You've ruined our peace, you've disturbed our hearts, and we're on our way for yours."

"Reploid and playwright, sensing your courage and fear
(Which one is it? Who can say?)
We're dual reptiles prowling the streets
of Manehattan

Don't you think about running away
(Trying will bring you to tears)
Melodies will clash, and one must fall
Your state of mind
will deliver you back to your cell, the place where you belong!"

Seeing Salamandra like this is something else. She has the look of somepony in her element: a total emotional high, a complete love of everything about her job. She's singing her heart out, and she's enjoying every little bit of it.

There's always going to be plenty of things that I don't understand about magic and Equestria. I'm probably never going to understand how something powerful enough to ensnare a city can be disrupted by reality-bending music: I'm a girl of science. But being at the center of all of this, watching my sponsor go full ham? I can still find joy out of it, since it means I can carry out my assignment.

My only regret is that I can't express it any better than this. It defies description. ...But then, does it really need one? It's magical. That's all there is to it.

With the heartsong disrupting Illudere's grip on the city, some decided that they liked it more than they liked the ongoing party and joined with us as backup dancers/singers. So it's with an escort of a dozen or so that the two of us arrive at an outwardly fancy nightclub, keeping up the song all the way to the doors.

The bouncer starts to block our way, but something---might've been the heartsong, might've been our target, who knows---causes him to take a step back and allow us to pass. Our complete entourage passes through the building to the dance floor, where she waits.

...

As we arrive and the heartsong is wrapped up, I lock eyes with the pony at the record table. She doesn't look any different from the rest of the crowd here, and she doesn't match the photo attached to her dossier. It's the vitriol she's nailing us with and the large shining emerald hovering next to her that convinces me that she's the one responsible for this.

And there's a cute little crab with its own hat near her. Adorable.

Speaking of the emerald, it's unquestionably the source of Illudere's ability to hypnotize the city. It's radiating power, ribbons constantly flowing out of it and orbiting around her for a time before being absorbed through her horn. Salamandra eyes it warily before confirming my suspicions with a silent nod, though she offers no explanation as to what it is.

I'll need to find a way to destroy it, or at least to seperate it from her.

Most everypony present is still jamming to the beat of the music, though they've backed away to make space for us. The heartsong doesn't seem to have reached them; the hypnosis effect is much stronger here than elsewhere. At the very least, those that are with me are spared from dealing with the effects a second time.

Salamandra starts to say something, but Illudere raises a hoof and cuts her off. "Eh. Eh-eh-eh, nu-nu-nu. Whatever it is you're about to say, I've heard it all before."

I raise my voice to comment, Javelin at the ready. "She hadn't said anything yet!"

"Didn't have to!" she retorts, jumping from behind the table and taking a stance in front of it. "And I don't need a repeat performance anyway. I've got my mind set on you, and we're going to do it right this time, child!"

Salamandra huffs in mild anger and gestures for our backup crew to step away, which they do. "No point in trying to reason with her. Let's just shut her up!"

Standard stance is go. "You don't need to tell me twice!"

"Just try it, stir-fry!" Illudere barks. An increasing number of ribbons flow out of the emerald, responding to her command. The emerald's pulsing erratically now. "You're going to fall into the forbidden zone when I'm through with---huh?" Her head tilts, and her expression turns confused. Something's not right here. "What do you mean, 'thou art early, but we'll admit thee'? But I'm not done having fun---"

A loud pop makes us flinch, and Salamandra ducks and covers her ears on reflex. "---yet?" Illudere finishes, her eyes and muzzle having gone into temporary lockdown as the ribbons vanish entirely.

And just like that, everything about her grinds to a halt.

I see the illusionist for who she really is: a sloppy-looking unicorn in a damaged dress, matching her picture. No armor like her cohorts, strangely.

The all-encompassing music is no longer all-encompassing: it's now just a normal record (though still somewhat loud). Everypony around us stumbles, with some falling. At least one club-goer falls asleep entirely. There's mutters everywhere, with most of them along the lines of "what's going on?", "why am I so tired?", "what kind of song is this?", and "this isn't what it looks like".

And it's while I'm listening to them that I realize that the gemstone that had been empowering her has disappeared into thin air.

I look at Salamandra, and we just shrug at each other. "I'm not letting the gift horse bite me," I decide. With nothing more to say, I take off across the floor towards my target.

On the speaker, the little fedora-wearing crab shifts towards his owner and waves a pincer at her, then clambers off the speaker and out of harm's way. Meanwhile, Illudere's panicking and flailing her forelegs around. "Not the end I had in mind! Not the end I had in mind! Author, you stupid turkey---!"

"...and that's how it happened."

Gray frowns. "That's it? What about the fight?"

"There wasn't really much to talk about there," I say to her. "With her hypnosis broken, Illudere wasn't a threat. She wasn't wearing any armor, so it was as easy as making her black out."

"Seriously?"

A nod. "Yes. She might be fiendish with magic, but she has the constitution of a spelunker. The Police locked one of those restraint rings on her horn and shipped her back to the asylum she came from."

...

As the train left the station, a voice that had lost all semblance of coherency rang out loud and clear: "---ho ho, hee hee, ha ha, to the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds---"

...

I shudder. That last song of Illudere's, if you can even call it a song, is going to stick with me for the rest of my life.

Gray's entire family was left exhausted by the night's events. All of them are draped around the living room in a deep sleep, their snores filling the air. Gray herself had barely managed to drag blankets over them all, sans Echo, before pulling herself onto the couch. Even now she's keeping one eye closed, the other staring out at me tiredly over the armrest her head is on.

My friend considers what I've told her. "You said there was a big gemstone nearby. Where is it?"

I shrug helplessly. "I wouldn't be able to tell you. Illudere tried to charge an attack with it, but it just... popped out of existence."

Ooh, she doesn't look pleased. "It what?"

"Like I said. It just plain disappeared. No warning, no flashes of light, nothing. It was there, then it wasn't." I wait a few moments for Gray to say something, but aside from her eyelid sinking further at the obvious anti-climax, there's no response. "Anyway, Drama's exhausted herself. I took the liberty of closing the Pyre for today on her behalf and putting her to bed."

"Pretty sure everypony's tired," Gray grumbled. She manages a smirk. "But if what you said is true, managing a heartsong of that magnitude would wipe out anypony. We're going to get her something, right? Because I'm pretty sure she saved the city last night with that stunt."

"Not doubting that." I wonder if I can pull any strings at Canterlot to get Drama some kind of medal? When the report reaches the castle, Celestia's probably going to want to set up a meeting. Rescuing an entire city from an eternal jamboree probably warrants it.

But for now, I'm going to get back to the Pyre. My generators aren't at maximum efficiency, and I'm feeling tuckered out myself. Think I'll just take the day off.

I give the crab that's with me a few kind taps. But first, I've got to get this little fellow to the Aquarium. Hopefully somepony's in a condition where they can answer my questions and take him in.

That afternoon...

Quarter stared at the empty safes in complete shock, jaw locked in 'stunned carp' mode. Next to her, Ignition and the remaining agents were all looking on in varying states of disbelief. As she'd just gotten done explaining to them on the way down, the Crown Jewels were the cornerstone of her planned rise to power and the lynchpins of her eventual ability to carry out the promises she'd given her agents. Now, they were gone.

She had a hypothesis as to how it happened: Illudere's magic had interacted with the Jewels by way of the Emerald's far-sighted stare, creating an improper feedback loop and causing them to be disintegrated by their own power. Though with the Jewels no longer around, and Illudere having been taken away, there was no way to say for sure.

Bastion and Gates traded looks before turning to Ignition. "So assuming that we're not going to be taking over Equestria anymore," Gates brought up, "can we still keep the suits?"

"...Only if you're willing to forfeit your severance pay," Ignition managed to answer after a few moments.

"Can I go home now?" Bushwhacker wanted to know.

"You'll have to serve time for helping with the breakout, but I don't see the problem," he decided. The changeling smiled at the affirmation and left them to their devices.

"Would a kiss make you feel better?" Calico asked with a hint of eagerness, having enjoyed the night more than most.

"Go on a diet for the next few moons, then we'll talk," was Ignition's rebuff.

Calico grumbled to herself. "Thought for sure that would work."

Many universes away...

Unknown to Quarter and anypony who knew of the Crown Jewels' existence, they had not been destroyed. Instead, they were subject to the same laws that Leviathan had been weeks ago.

The gemstones re-formed on the surface of an unknown world. One of them came to rest in what would someday be called northern Africa, and the two others thousands of miles away in different parts of Europe. It would be a long time before they were re-discovered.

Their power was completely expended by the transfer to this world, and there was little to no ambient magic in the environment. It was not likely that they would ever regain their full strength. They were here to stay.

Thousands of years later, no one knew of the threat they had once posed. People only saw gemstones that were larger than normal and carried more weight---literally and financially---than any other valuables in the world. As such, when one of them was touted as part of an exhibit at a local museum, Henry Stickmin didn't see a mighty artifact. He saw dollar signs.

Author's Note

Music links include: "All-Consuming Wish", by Brandon Yates and Therewolf Media; "Macahula Dance", by Dr. Macdoo; and "Heartful Neko-Romancer", by IOSYS.

Salamandra's heartsong uses the last of these as a base. Lyrics have obviously been changed to fit the story's context.

This chapter contains twenty-three music-based shout-outs and references, give or take. See how many you can find!

Like these chapters tend to do, this one got away from me. This was supposed to be a What-If concerning what would happen if I followed my original idea of having Illudere try to hypnotize and brainwash the city's citizens, then having Drama Heart stop her with a song. This went almost completely off the rails and didn't turn out anywhere close to what I'd expected it to be. (I blame the deranged unicorn.)

Before I'd made any progress in cementing my ideas for the Crown Jewels, one thought I had was to have them disappear at the end of the story and have them appear in the setting for the Henry Stickmin series. I eventually nixed that idea, but that was another thing I decided to include as a way of showing what could've been. (So yes: the gem Illudere was using was essentially the Norwegian Emerald, seen during the "Jewel Baron" route.)

Lack of canonicity aside, one thing I wanted to do was elaborate on the abilities of the Crown Jewels. Obviously there's more to it than just magic absorption and the bestowing of it (otherwise I would've gone with something more like Grogar's bell), but unfortunately there wasn't much I could do with the emerald here that wouldn't second-guess the main story. Hence why Illudere's defeat here was anti-climactic and a bit out of nowhere. I'm sorry, but you'll just have to accept Quarter's hypothesis for now.

(And if I said that it totally wasn't because we didn't need a repeat of a fight that I'd already had to write once, I'd be lying. )

Learned this on TV Tropes a while back: The expression translated as "Constitution of a spelunker" is an actual Japanese idiom that refers to someone getting hurt badly from minor injuries, stemming from this game. At any rate, Leviathan wouldn't have gotten to use the term "samused" in this timeline on account of her equipment never being stolen, so I decided to keep this one as a substitution.

"'Thou art early, but we'll admit thee'" is a reference to the old computer game NetHack. It involves trying to level-port to a negative number of sufficient value.

Whew, that was a lot of notes. ... Anyway, I'm going to rest from writing for a few days before I start building up to Leviathan's inevitable rematch with the Midnight Castle leaders. My mood hasn't been the best for a while (stupid summertime heat and health issues), so I feel like I need to bring myself down from this for a bit. Ciao mein, and I'll see you next month!

...

Oh, and lest I forget: funky crab.

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