“Come on, Stell,” Coyote, a light blue unicorn, whined, “It’s Friday night, we finished our exams for the semester, and deserve a night on the town.”
The pinkish purple stallion Stellar Gleam, Stell for short, huffed as he turned on his cushion seat to glare with his purple eyes at Coyote, who was sprawled upside down on Stellar’s bed. “Except we both have internships starting next week and I, for one, would like to be prepared.”
Both Stellar and Coyote were inside of Stellar’s cramped one room college dorm. It was just big enough for a desk, a chair, a bed, and several massive stacks of books that covered a variety of topics ranging from magic theory to political philosophies.
The unicorns had initially bonded over their similar Cutie Marks at orientation: Stellar with a purple star with a blue wisp of magic swirling off of it and Coyote with a Cutie Mark of a wand conjuring blue smoke. However, they had quickly realized that the application of said marks were nowhere close to being the same.
That didn’t stop them from becoming close friends.
Snark included.
Coyote rolled his purple eyes. “That’s our Stellar. All work, no play.”
“Well some of us have better things to do than lounge around their friend’s dorm room every night.” Stellar huffed as he flipped his wavy blue striped purple mane with a snap of his head.
“I am a student of the Performing Arts-”
“General Arts,” Stellar corrected.
Coyote glared. “Performing Arts, and I require time to think over my stupendous tricks. Unlike some pony I know who just reads book after boring book.”
“An interesting way of saying that you hate your roommate and prefer to sleep on the floor in my room.”
“He sleep-dances, Stellar, and is a narcoleptic. How am I supposed to get anything done with an accountant grinding their hips into my flanks?”
“Well, there are study rooms you could use,” Stellar grumbled.
Coyote flung a hoof dramatically against their head. “And deprive you of my excellent company? Perish the thought!”
Stellar huffed, threw his hooves into the air and returned to reading his book on the principles of quantum transmutations.
“Oh, come on, Stellar. You’ll have plenty of time to do...” Coyote waved a hoof trying to remember Stellar’s field of study. “What do you do again?”
“Magic Research,” Stellar growled.
“That.” Coyote gave a disgusted look. “Ugh, sounds boring and unspectacular every time you tell me.”
Coyote rolled himself over into an upright position on the opposite side of Stellar’s bed as a rather hefty tome on Minotauran Communism Principles flew through the air and landed where he had been laying previously.
“Stellar! Be careful where you aim. You could have hurt the Fantastic and Mighty Coyote, and deprived the world of his gracious presence for a time!” Coyote used his hooves to quickly brush his blue striped white mane back into its wispy peak.
“The Most Easy to Hit and Big Mouthed Coyote was in fact the target. Also, does the Soon to Be Sorry and Close to Death Coyote wish to disclose why he is breaking his NA promises?”
“Narcissists Anonymous will be fine if Coy-” Stellar whipped his head around to glare at him. “I slip up once in a while.” Coyote waved a hoof. “I assure you I’ve been good. Most of the time.”
“Most is not all.”
“Most is good enough. Now, stop changing the subject.”
“What subject?” Stellar exclaimed. “The only subject is me studying for my once in a lifetime job placement at the Trottingham Research Society.”
“No, the subject is us going out and having fun.” Coyote stood up on all fours and trotted towards Stellar until he was almost nose to nose with him. “I found a Gentlecolt’s club nearby and we are going.”
“You found a what?” Stellar yelled, face flushed. “Coyote, I can’t go to a strip club.”
“Why not? You’re a-” Coyote looked down then back up to Stellar’s face, “Stallion.”
Stellar narrowed his eyes. “Did you just have to check that I was male?”
“No,” Coyote lied, “But regardless, you need to get some stimulation outside of books. What better way than to see the hottest mares on offer in Trottingham making lewd poses at you? You might even finally get laid.”
“I-I don’t-” Stellar sputtered. “I am perfectly content right now.”
“Okay, I’ll sweeten the deal.” Coyote pulled a playing card depicting the ace of clubs out from behind his ear with one hoof.
“Where did-”
“Magician’s secrets,” Coyote interrupted. “You go with me to the club tonight and ogle some lewd mares.” Coyote pulled a second card depicting the two of hearts from behind his other ear with his free hoof. “And I will do the thing you love doing most for you.”
Stellar gasped. “You’ll big spoon me through the night?”
Coyote groaned. “I, a straight stallion, will professionally hold you in my legs for one evening.”
“You promise?”
Coyote rolled his eyes. “Yes, I promise. Now are you-”
Coyote watched as Stellar disappeared in a flash of sparkles and reappeared at the door to his room with his saddlebags already on.
“Come on, Coy. Hurry up. We got places to be.”
Coyote rolled his eyes good naturedly and followed after a prancing Stellar through the door.
“Here we are!” Coyote announced with an outstretched hoof gesturing towards the club.
Stellar looked over the building. It was clad in numerous neon lights with a massive sign proclaiming the location as ‘The Dressed Stud’. The front door were two solid oak doors with velvet curtains hanging overtop of them. Next to the door was a buff earth pony stallion barring entry. Most likely the bouncer.
Surprisingly, nopony was lined up in front of the club despite it being a Friday night.
“This is a Gentlecolt’s club?” Stellar asked.
Coyote turned to Stellar, indignant. “You doubt the Fantastic and Mighty Coyote?”
“No, I guess I was just expecting something different.”
“What were you expecting?” Coyote asked.
Stellar tilted their head to one side in thought. “I guess more obnoxious? Shameless? This place just looks a bit too classy for what it actually is.”
Coyote frowned. “Stellar, that's a bad stereotype.” He quickly returned to a dazzling smile. “Regardless, it is thus up to the Open Minded and Selfless Coyote to expand your horizons. Onwards, hot mares await!”
“I don’t know, Coy. I'm having second- Eep.”
Coyote grabbed the startled Stellar by the shoulder with a hoof and trotted them both to the entrance to the club. “Look, Stell. We are here, and if you want that night's sleep in my warm professional embrace, you will do this.”
“Coy, I’m just not sure-”
“Ah, ah, ah!” Coyote put a hoof over Stellar’s mouth. “We’re doing this.” They trotted the rest of the way to the presumed bouncer. “Two tickets to your show for tonight.”
“ID?” The bouncer said impassively.
Both stallions hoofed over their IDs. The bouncer looked over their identification cards and nodded. “10 bits each.”
Coyote looked at Stellar.
“Seriously?” Stellar deadpanned.
“My bits are all in my dorm room, I don’t want to trot back since I’ll never get you to come back here with me, and you get a massive stipend from your mysteriously wealthy yet creepy infantilizing mother.”
“She’s not- Ugh, whatever.” Stellar used his magic to hoof over the twenty bits required for both of them.
The bouncer nodded and stepped to the side while pulling back the curtain to allow them entry.
Both stallions trotted in tandem through the double doors and found themselves in a long wood panelled corridor illuminated by small lights evenly spaced along the bottom of the walls. They could hear the sound of light string instruments playing ahead.
Coyote grabbed a hesitant Stellar by the shoulders once more and dragged him forwards until they came to the main room.
The chamber had a raised circular stage in the center of the room attached to a walkway leading presumably to a backstage area. In the center of the stage was a stool underneath a single spotlight that cycled through a rainbow of colours.
Arranged around the stage were cushioned seats with attached side tables. Velvet curtains lined the outer walls overtop small lights built into the floor. Classical music played at a reasonable volume to allow conversation in the room, presumably as the audience waited for the performers on stage to appear.
It was apparently a slow night as Stellar observed that only roughly a quarter of the seats were occupied and predominantly by mares, which was rather odd for a Geneltecolt’s club, but Stellar wasn’t going to judge.
“This is much nicer than I was expecting,” Stellar said.
“Of course; do I deliver or do I deliver?” Coyote bragged.
“I suppose you’ve done alright this time.” Stellar reluctantly said to a smug Coyote.
“What can I get you, gentlecolts?”
Coyote and Stellar turned to see a dapper unicorn stallion dressed in a server’s uniform with a bright purple and blue striped bow tie.
“Get what?” Stellar asked.
“Don’t worry, Stellar. I got this. One peach schnapps for my friend and a glass of bourbon for me.”
“Of course, gentlecolts.” The server bowed and trotted off.
“You ordered us drinks?”Stellar asked.
“Club rules,” Coyote stated. “All guests must order at least one drink on entry.”
“That I’m paying for!”
“Details, Stell, details.” Coyote scanned the room and settled on a spot up front near the stage that was clear of most other guests. “Let’s sit there.”
“Isn’t that a little too close to the stage?”
“That’s the point, Stell,” Coyote said exasperated, “We want a full frontal view of the show, not a vague speck from the back of the room.”
Stellar found themselves once again dragged by Coyote to the seats he had pointed out earlier. As they sat down on their cushions the previous server appeared and placed a tall wine glass filled with a dark red drink in front of Coyote and a fizzy clear drink in front of Stellar.
“Enjoy the show, gentlecolts,” The server said.
“Oh, before you go, do you know who’s on first?” Coyote asked.
“Hard Rocks, Sir,” the Server replied placidly, “The opening act for tonight.” The server cantered off.
“Oh, the opener.” Coyote gave Stellar a lecherous grin. “Good timing, huh, Stell?”
“Hard Rocks doesn’t sound like a mare’s show name, Coy.”
“Oh, it’s probably just an uber buff earth pony mare.” Coyote tapped their chin in thought. “Which would be super hot.”
“That’s your preference?” Stellar asked incredulously.
Coyote shrugged. “I like my dommy mommies, what can I say?”
“That you have unresolved parental issues?” Stellar deadpanned.
Coyote glared. “That I have excellent tastes.”
“Now, now, Coy. Quiet down.” Stellar took a sip from his drink with a smarmy grin. “The show is about to start.”
Coyote looked ready to start a fuss, but instead huffed and faced the stage.
The two stallions sipped idly at their drinks and after a moment, the spotlight turned purple and brightened up as the lights around the outside of the room dimmed. An upbeat, bass heavy electronic pop song started and the curtains at the end of the walkway slid open.
Strutting out along the walkway was a built stallion close in size to a draft pony that stood several heads taller than either Stellar or Coyote. He had scruffy gray fur, a dull purple mane cut into a bowl cut, and was stacked like a pile of bricks. His tail was cut straight and he had a Cutie Mark of a single diamond.
He trotted towards the spotlight fully confident with several pieces of clothing draped across his back. When he arrived under the light, he took out a comb and brushed it back along his mane into a slicked back wave.
His turquoise eyes glittered in the light.
“Coy.” Stellar said.
“Yeah.” Coyote answered.
“This isn’t a Gentlecolt’s club.”
“Well, technically it is a Gentlecolt’s club, it’s just not describing the clientele in this case.”
“No, duh, Coy. Way to mess up picking the right gendered club.”
“The Regrettable and Unlucky Coyote would kindly ask you to get off my back.”
The performer sat his rump down on stage and whipped out a length of gem patterned ribbon off his back. Stellar and Coyote found themselves entranced as the stallion on stage grabbed the other end of the ribbon and brought it around his neck.
He proceeded to slowly tie one end under the other, pulled the left length of the ribbon through the bottom and overtop the entire knot with the right length of the ribbon bunched into a horizontal loop.
The stallion took the over hanging piece, looped it around and through the center of the entire structure and pulled it into a tight bow tie. When finished, he adjusted the tie slowly until it was tight to his throat causing his neck muscles to pop.
The mares cheered several rows away as the two stallions looked on flabbergasted.
“Why do they call them strippers if they put clothes on?” Stellar asked.
“It’s a Minotauran thing, Stell. Don’t question it. Just watch the hot- acceptable stallion put clothes on.”
Next, the stallion took off two blue and purple plaid patterned stockings from his back. He turned to face Stellar and Coyote as he dropped the clothing next to him. Both stallions turned scarlet as they got an eyeful of what the stage stallion was packing under the hood.
Taking a stocking in his front hoof, the stallion slipped it over the fetlock of his right rear leg. He rolled it up slowly inch by inch with his leg stretched out across the stage. When he finished donning the sock, he pulled the second stocking over his left fetlock.
Instead of rolling it up with his hooves, the show stallion, in a show of great flexibility, bent over, grabbed the edge of the stocking in his teeth and pulled it up the length of his leg even slower than the previous.
Stellar was certain he heard the thump of a mare falling to the floor during the resulting cheer.
The stallion stood back onto his hooves and turned towards the mares giving Stellar and Coyote a perfect view of his sculpted rear cupped perfectly by the tops of the stockings.
The stallion flexed once for his audience and they were treated to his muscular flanks bunching up showing off the dense muscle.
Stellar and Coyote both gulped.
“Maybe we should-”
Stellar shoved their hoof into Coyote’s mouth. “No, we’re not leaving when it’s just getting good.”
Coyote stared in confusion at Stellar who was staring at the show pony with a starstruck expression. He was further perplexed when Stellar whistled at the stallion when he pranced lightly around the stage.
The stallion on stage then faced forward, puffing out his corded chest. He took one last piece of clothing off his back: a blue and purple plaid jacket. He pulled one jacket sleeve through his left foreleg, over his back and the second sleeve through his right foreleg.
The sleeves bunched up along the stallion’s forelegs and back, the seams threatening to burst. He slowly, tantalizingly buttoned up the first three buttons of the jacket which caused further stress on the tight fabric. He left the final button unbuttoned which gave a near erotic view of the large tuft of fur on his breast.
“We should probably go, Stell,” Coyote said around Stellar’s hoof.
Stellar removed his hoof. “Why?”
“We’re both straight. This isn’t really our target, ya know?”
Stellar snorted. “Speak for yourself, Coy.”
Coyote’s eyes went wide. “What? You’re not straight?”
“No, I’m bisexual. I’ve told you this before.” Stellar looked at Coyote with a peeved look. “You just chose to ignore me as usual.”
Coyote sputtered. “I did no such thing.”
“You did.” Stellar looked down at Coyote’s lower end and smirked. “And for somepony as ‘straight’ as you say you are, you sure do seem to be enjoying the show as much as I am.”
Coyote squeaked and attempted to better cover the evidence of his entertainment with his front hooves. “I assure you the Vulnerable and Somewhat Embarrassed Coyote is only attracted to mares.”
“I’m not so sure about that. You sure the Submissive and Clearly Excited Coyote doesn’t enjoy the company of a dommy daddy?”
Coyote huffed as Stellar giggled evilly.
The showpony was currently going through a set of light workouts to the fervent cheering of the crowd who catcalled and whistled.
“Let’s make this more fun,” Stellar said as he got out a stack of bits from his saddlebags.
“What are you doing?” Coyote said in a voice two octaves higher than it should be.
“Letting loose.” Stellar gave Coyote a mischievous smirk.
Stellar then threw some bits onto the stage and called out, “Hey, stud. Think you can come over here for some one on one?”
The stallion on stage noticed and finished off their last push up. Afterwards, they trotted across the stage, and hopped off the stage to land just in front of them.
It became clear with the loss of elevation that the stallion was big.
Stellar smiled with barely contained glee. Coyote stared at Stellar mortified.
The stallion danced over to them while gyrating his hips up and down in time with the music.
Stellar bit his lip at the display. “What’s your private rate?”
“Stell!” Coyote squeaked.
“100 bits an hour,” the stallion replied in a deadpan voice.
“150 and my friend joins.”
“Stell!”
“Deal.” The stallion replied.
He turned away from them, giving a full view of his perfectly rounded flanks, and jerked his head towards an arbitrary part of the curtained outer wall.
Stellar stood up, grabbed Coyote against his will, and, for the first time that night, dragged him off after the hunky stripper through the passage behind the curtain.
The hot stallion led them along a winding maze of corridors. Seemingly at random, they stopped before an unmarked door and entered the room beyond.
The room was a sizable dressing room with the right wall dominated by a locker and left by multiple racks of clothing, wigs and accessories. Tall mirrors were arranged in a circle across from the door and hooked to the ceiling. A small makeup kit was placed just before one of the mirrors as well as several cushions.
Facing away from them, the stallion trotted to the makeup box. “Just to be clear, no direct sex. That is offered by select performers and I am not one of them,” he said in a deadpan voice.
“Oh, of course, I wouldn’t have expected that by default.” Stellar gave his most pleasant smile. “What’s your name by the way?”
“Kilt.” Kilt tossed a cloud of purple glitter across his face that he had taken out of the makeup kit.
Stellar’s eyes widened in surprise. “From the Rocktoriate program at Trottingham U, right?”
“Yes.” Kilt fussed with some parts of his makeup that appeared to have gotten messed up during his performance.
Stellar nudged Coyote with his hoof. “Hear that Coyote? We got ‘Big Kilt’ here.”
“The stallion that can break through bare stone with only his hooves?” Coyote gulped.
“Yes.” Kilt replied monotonously.
“Great! I’m Stellar Gleam, but you can call me Stell.” Stellar giggled and gestured with a hoof to Coyote. “This is Coyote, or Coy.”
Coyote whipped his head towards Stellar with an indignant expression on his face. “Excuse me. That is the Fantastic and Mighty Coyote from him.”
Kilt looked at Stellar and nodded. “Stell.” He turned to Coyote, paused, then nodded his head again. “The Fantastic and Mighty Coyote.”
Coyote whipped his head back to face Kilt with a beet red face. “Y-You- Yes that is correct.” Coyote turned away and mumbled, “At least somepony shows me some respect.”
Stellar rolled his eyes. “Well, now that introductions are over, do you have any drinks here, Kilt?”
“Locker. Champagne. It’s unlocked.”
“Excellent, I’ll grab that, while you warm up with Coy.”
“What?” Coyote exclaimed.
Stellar waved a hoof. “You’ll be fine. I’ll grab the bottle.”
Stellar trotted to the locker leaving Coyote alone with Kilt.
“So,” Coyote asked nervously, “How does this normally go?”
Kilt closed the make up kit, grabbed a nearby cushion and dropped it down in front of Coyote. “Sit.”
Coyote gulped and did as he was told.
“Lay on your back with your head on the cushion.”
Coyote, face flushed, did as he was asked.
Kilt trotted forward until his front hooves were planted on either side of Coyote’s head. He leaned back, placed his front hooves behind his head and gyrated in slow circles above Coyote dangerously close to a region Coyote was pointedly trying to ignore.
“Is this working for you?” Kilt deadpanned with a completely neutral expression.
“The Fantastic and Mighty Coyote refuses to answer that question in any capacity.”
“Woo! Look at him go,” Stellar exclaimed as he trotted over with a clear bottle of bubbly gold liquid floating in his magic. He glanced down and smirked. “Enjoying the attention, Coy?”
“Shut up, Stell.” Coyote said.
“Never.” Stellar turned to Kilt. “Anyways, Kilt do you have-”
“Hoof it over.” Kilt proffered a hoof towards Stellar.
Stellar gave the bottle to Kilt who pressed the bottle’s neck between his exposed pecs. He brought his hooves together in front of him and flexed. Hard. The cork cap popped off and flew across the room with a small stream of liquid champagne exploding in a stream across Coyote’s stunned face.
“How did you do that?” Stellar asked.
“Earth pony magic,” Kilt replied as he placed the champagne bottle onto the floor, “Or being really strong. Whichever you prefer.”
“The Fantastic and Mighty Coyote thinks the bottle was not the only thing that popped off.”
“What was that, Coy?” Stellar asked.
“Nothing.” Coyote grabbed the bottle in his magic and chugged a portion of champagne down his throat.
“Well, regardless, it's my turn now!” Stellar said in a sing-song voice.
Kilt got off of Coyote who shot a peeved look at Stellar. Stellar gyrated his flanks up against Kilt who returned the motion.
Coyote watched this happen while taking sips of champagne directly from the bottle before getting to his hooves in a huff.
“Okay, Stell, it’s my turn now,” He announced.
“You’re straight,” Stellar stated, “I get a longer turn since I’m not.”
“Regardless of the Peeved and Restless Coyote’s orientation, he is entitled based on bits he paid-”
“I paid,” Stellar corrected.
“Fine, you paid and I want my money’s worth. Besides, you didn’t even want to come here before I convinced you.” Coyote crossed his front legs in a huff with his rump planted on the ground.
“Coy, you’re being a foal. Also, why does it matter to you? You keep saying you’re straight, so I don’t see how you would be that interested in this.”
“Yeah, well maybe the Fantastic and Mighty Coyote is… not… as straight as he thought he was,” Coyote mumbled.
Stellar rolled his eyes and moved away from Kilt towards Coyote. “Seriously? You’re having a sexual awakening now?”
“Well, why not?” Coyote snorted. “The Fantastic and Mighty Coyote does not need to follow your specific outlined steps to discover their attraction towards stallions.”
“Coy, you literally spend every moment possible claiming your straight, but when I finally get some time with a hot stallion, you’re suddenly gay?”
“Bisexual.” Coyote said indignantly. “I would have you identify me correctly, Stell.”
“Okay, fine, bisexual.” Stellar rolled his eyes. “But I still think the only reason you’re doing this is because you want all of the attention. Again.”
Coyote gasped and moved closer to Stellar until he was an inch away from him. “How dare you, Stell. Coyote is not some basic attention seeking diva.”
“Third person, Coy. You’re slipping.”
“Coy- I am not slipping.”
“You are! And if you’re not doing this for attention, why is this the only time I’m hearing about this, hm?” Stellar squinted his eyes accusingly. “Awfully convenient.”
“Well, I was feeling awkward about it because I wasn’t sure how to process my feelings.”
“How would you feel awkward about that?”
“The Fantastic and Mighty Coyote likes you, Stellar.”
Both stallions turned to Kilt who had stated the words with a neutral expression and deadpan voice. They then looked back at each other, both blushing. Coyote looked away first.
“I mean, he’s not… completely.... wrong,” Coyote mumbled.
“Wait, you have a crush on me?” Stellar exclaimed.
“Yes, the Fantastic and Mighty Coyote has a crush on one wonderful, handsome, amazing stallion Stellar Gleam,” Coyote said exasperated, “Happy?”
“You think I’m handsome?”
Coyote glared. “That’s all you got from that confession?”
“Well, yeah. That was the best part.”
Coyote groaned.
Stellar bit his lower lip nervously. “You want to maybe… continue this back at the dorms?”
Coyote looked at Stellar in shock. “You mean talking about our feelings?”
Stellar gave Coyote a lecherous grin. “Among other things.”
“I-I, well, I could accompany one Stellar back to their dorm for some… talking,” Coyote stuttered.
“Excellent, let’s get going then,” Stellar said.
“Thank you for your patronage,” Kilt said.
Both Stellar and Coyote turned to look at Kilt again. Both looked him up and down then looked back at each.
“Actually, Kilt, when’s your shift done?” Stellar asked with a too wide smile.
“An hour.”
“And what are you doing afterwards?” Coyote asked with an equally wide smile.
“Studying.” Kilt was silent for a moment. “But I believe you are hinting that I will instead be doing you two?”
“That would be the case,” Stellar replied. “Interested?”
Kilt blinked once.
“Sure. But I keep the clothes on,” Kilt said.
“We were hoping you would say that,” Coyote replied.
“Have to get the most out of those stockings,” Stellar added.
Kilt nodded and grabbed the bottle of champagne from the ground. “More champagne?”
“Don’t mind if I do,” Stellar said as he grabbed the bottle in his magic and took a swig. He lifted the bottle in the air after he had his fill. “A toast to a great start.”
Coyote bit his lip nervously. He took on a steely expression, stepped close to Stellar and gave him a quick peck on the muzzle. Stellar flushed scarlet and turned to look at Coyote who gave a shy smile.
“To a hopefully long relationship,” Coyote said gently.
“To the boning that will occur when the Mighty and Fantastic Coyote eventually gets over his initial nervousness some two hours into the main event,” Kilt said in a deadpan voice.
Coyote, indignant, grabbed the bottle of champagne and tried to pour it all over Kilt who ran away, while Stellar laughed at their antics.
It would be a most Mighty and Fantastic beginning to their self proclaimed glorious relationship.
