A Picture worth Half a Mil

by onekface

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Thriller, Adventure, Equestria Girls, Quibble Pants, Main 7 (EqG)
Length: 4092

Rainbow Dash needs cash for her bike. And a photo of a mysterious driver is all she needs.

In a desperate need for money, Rainbow Dash enlists herself and her friends in a bounty hunting operation
of a mysterious driver who has eluded many stalkers.
But little does she know that something sinister is afoot in the Equestrian Circuit Games!

Published 2021-08-20 19:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-23 19:32:08 UTC

Breakdown

Chapter 1: Breakdown

(Canterlot Mall)

Rainbow Dash slumped on the table that afternoon, sulking like a baby who got her candy stolen by a bully. Normally she wouldn’t show such an ugly side of herself in public, but this was different.

It all started out simply enough when she was driving her bike down the free road, enjoying the feeling the wind passing through her hair. She often took rides with her bike despite having the power to literally go faster than any vehicle. There was just no substituting the feeling of an engine under your seat and the accelerator in your hand. The enthusiasm she felt riding her father’s old hog was absolutely irreplaceable. It was perhaps the greatest feeling in the world to simply ride out in the open countryside and have nothing holding you back.

But it all ended two days ago when she took the bike too far one night down by the Everfree Woods. While she was out enjoying the breeze, a car from the other lane swerved in – probably a drunkard – and made her steer out of the way hitting a rail and throwing her off the seat.

Thankfully the many bushes of the woods cushioned her fall and she got out of that accident with only a cut on the cheek. The bike on the other hand… pulled the short straw. It crashed onto the rails, did a double flip in mid-air, smashed onto the strong end of a maple tree and hitting a large boulder, bending the ride in a way it was never meant to be before finally exploding into a ball of fire.

Putting it simply: It wasn’t coming back.

So here she was, sulking with her friends in the aftermath.

“There there, darling. No need to sulk.” Rarity patted her back, trying to sooth the pain in her soul. “I’m sure it’s not that bad. I mean… look at the bright side: You still have your health.”

“Yeah! Totally!” Pinkie agreed, pushing up a soothing cupcake to the sports gal. “I’d rather have you than a lame old motorcycle. I mean you’re way WAYYY cooler than some two wheeled thing.”

AJ nodded in agreement. “Absolutely. You’re pretty lucky to walk out of that whole thing with just a scratch. You should be counting your stars. It could’ve a lot worse.”

“But it is worse!” Rainbow Dash retorted half tearing. “That ride wasn’t just my dad’s ride. It was a Cloudsdale Classic. They don’t make’em anymore. Do you know how long it took before my dad even let me drive the thing? YEARS! And now I’ve ruined it.”

“Oh come on. It can’t be that bad.” Sunset chimed. “I’m sure he’ll understand if it was an accident.”

“Yeah. Sure. He’ll understand. After he grounds me to infinity and bans me from getting anywhere near the garage ever again. I’ll never touch his precious Cloudsdale Classic till I turn 50.”

“He’s really that mad?”

“Try furious. Last night… he didn’t even watch the football game with the Canterlot Cavaliers.”

Rarity seemed to understand her pain somewhat. “Well… if it helps darling. Perhaps you can make it up to him? If you took responsibility of the damage and pay him back some of the repair cost, perhaps he’ll forgive you. We’ll even chip in. How much is it? 300? 500?”

“250,000.”

Rarity choked. “Pfa! Tw… twenty five… hundred thousand? For repairs?”

“Oh dear.” Fluttershy gasped. “I don’t think our bake sales are gonna match that.”

“I told you. It’s a Cloudsdale Classic. The parts for that thing aren’t on the market anymore. We have to order them from abroad and it’s not gonna come quick either.” That was way beyond what a kid can make in half of her life. “Sorry Rare. But I don’t think any of us can make that kind of cash any time soon.” Not legally anyway. That would require a thousand bake sales, four months of the Apple Family’s annual farm income, or several dozen kidneys.

“Well… at least we tried.” Applejack sighed. “Sorry Rainbow.”

“It’s fine. I’m… ugh… over it.” Though her expression didn’t exactly match those words. “I’ll just have to live with it until something comes up.”

Twilight then chimed in. “We might not be able to do anything about Rainbow Dash’s accident. But I think I know a way to get your mind off it.” She flashed them a flyer with race cars on it. “The annual Equestria Circuit Games are in Canterlot starting tomorrow.”

Sunset’s eyes widened. “That racing tournament?”

“Yup. It’s a regional event. And the final rounds will be held here in Canterlot. That’s why they blocked half of Uptown and Midtown to prepare for it. Fun fact: Did you know that the race was actually held with horses instead of cars? Then they changed it to bikes and then race cars. It was a rather surprising transition for a small event and…” She stopped half way when she noticed the gang’s collective stares. “Ah… yeah. I’ll explain it another time.”

“Good call.”

“Anyway. As luck would have it, I managed to score seven tickets to the whole event.” The gang (Minus Rainbow Dash) squealed excitingly at the prospect. “Yup. My dad is working with the mayor to coordinate the whole race. He says we can use it for the duration of the event.”

“That’s awesome!”

“Fantastic!”

“Woo hoo! I’m gonna bring my confetti cannon! Sleepover!”

“Whadaya say Rainbow Dash?” Sunset gestured to the sulking girl. “It’d be a great distraction from your… accident.”

The girl rolled her eyes and shrugged. “Eh… sure… why not. It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

“That’s the spirit!”

(The next day) (Racing grounds)

The next morning came faster than Rainbow anticipated. Within hours of waking up from her bed, she carpooled with her friends and arrived at the Uptown Deluxe Hotel within the hour.

The event was surprisingly large. Much larger than any of them originally anticipated. There were bleachers set up on the sidewalk to accommodate viewers, giant TV screens hanging off of skyscrapers to follow the race, and of course… super fancy cars decorated to the brim with stickers and numbers.

The race was supposed to be main event, but the gang had free time till it started.

Rarity unsurprisingly went on a tirade saying that she wanted to meet all the celebrities and catch with all the sales-shopping. Applejack unwillingly became her companion.

Pinkie went on a taste testing marathon, buying up all the sweets and snacks in the booths by the alleyways. Fluttershy seemed mildly interested and chased after her.

As for Twilight and Sunset, they went to meet up with their supposed shared boyfriend, Flash, who was also hanging around for some reason. Don’t ask how they maintain their relationship. It’s a trade secret.

That just leaves… her… to do… absolutely nothing.

Dang it. This whole thing was supposed to be about getting her mind off her crash. But everyone seemed to have forgotten……

… or maybe it was because she didn’t feel like doing anything. They did offer to take her.

Ugh… dang it. And here she thought she’d take her mind off her crash.

Oh well. Maybe the race might actually do her some good. She’d been to a few races before but never anything this grand. Who knows? Anything can happen around h…

“Doh!” Her face crashed nose-first onto something solid. Or more precisely, someone. “Sorry. I wasn’t looking.”

“No no. Totally my fault.” The man replied. “Maybe stacking up all these boxes so high wasn’t such a good idea.”

Eh? Wait a second. That voice sounded familiar. “Hold up. Quibble Pants?”

The plain looking man smiled. “Oh! Hey there Rainbow Dash. Fancy meeting you here.”

“Fancy meeting me? I’m a sports gal. Of course I’d be here. What’s fancy is YOU being here. If… fancy meant… confusing.”

“Well… sure. I’m not as sports oriented as you. But I got my reason. I’m actually working as part of the pit crew.”

“A pit crew? You?” Her brow waggled.

“Well… not technically A-Pit-Crew. They just need someone to move boxes around. I’m working overtime to make some extra cash.”

“What happened to your job at the Canterlot Bugle?”

He shrugged. “Eh… didn’t work out. After I wrote that tabloid about Mayor Mare’s eating habits, the guys at the top were livid! They shut me down on the spot. But it’s not all bad. I found a new job here. I’m saving enough money to take Clear Sky and Wind Sprint for a vacation at Manehattan.”

“Sounds expensive.”

“It is. But every little bit is worth the trouble.” He grinned warmly at her. “What about you? I didn’t know you were interested in race cars.”

“Eh… not really. I’m just here to take my mind off things. It’s been a…” She sighed. “It’s been a rough few days.”

“Oooof. Sounds rough.” But then an idea came to mind. “Oh! I got something that might cheer you up. Wanna see the behind-the-scenes of a pit crew? I can take you to see the cool cars.”

She blinked. “Really? You can do that?”

“Sure I can. The main racing event is not until afternoon. You can have a look. As long as you don’t touch anything.”

A closer look at those super fancy race cars? Somehow that sounded a lot more interesting than she imagined.

“Eh… sure. Why not? It’s not like I got anything better to do.”

“Great! Follow me.”

xxxxxxxxxxx

She followed the man to the back of one of the temporary garages that were secured with an electronic lock. Inside she saw a number of mechanics and people wearing cool jumpsuits tinkering and working sophisticated tools far more advance than the Cloudsdale Classic.

And the cars that came with the tour were a sight to behold.

Every piece that made up the machine looked so advance and so slick they could probably turn anything into a space craft. The spoilers, the rims, even the windshield looked like it was made out of diamonds. Rarity would be gleaming at the sight.

“So? Whadaya think?”

Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but nod back with a small smile on her face. “Ok. I’ll admit. This is pretty rad. I never thought these race cars would have such a deep and complex machineries.”

“If you think this is fancy, you should see the ones the guys work on at night. They’re masterpieces.”

“Don’t suppose I can drive one of these babies for a test run now, can I?”

“Not unless you’re a registered driver – or a backup.”

Eh it was worth a shot. But dang… those cars look sick and cool. The horsepower on those babies must be wicked. They might even give her speed power a run for their money.

But her admiration came to a stop when the PA speakers rung up to life. “And now coming up on the 13th round, scoring a perfect record. It’s Turbo!”

Turbo?

Rainbow Dash tilted her head at the name as a bright red vehicle skid to a complete stop at the pit. A rider decked in red and white jumpsuit leaped out from the car only to be swarmed by a whole sleugh of reporters and cameramen. They hovered the guy with microphones, each of them talking over one another hoping to get a word out of the guy.

“Who’s that?”

Quibble laughed. “What? You’ve never heard of him?”

“I… haven’t exactly been keeping up with the sport.”

“That’s Turbo. He’s the star of the Equestrian Circuit.” He explained. “Three months ago, when the event started in Hooverton, he came out of nowhere and beat the entire competition in a landslide. He’s managed to outrun Speedy McSpeed in a long line, outdo Tiko Drift, and even outrun the Legendary Sonic Boom.”

Yeah I don’t know any of those names. They all sound made up.

“Ok… but who would name their kid, Turbo?”

“Oh Turbo is just a stage name. No one really knows who he is.” They don’t? “Yeah. He wears his helmet everywhere he goes and never shows his face to anyone. We’re not even sure if it’s even a ‘He’.”

A publicity stunt. Rainbow recognized the business move. A mysterious driver who came out of nowhere and outdoes the competition? That’s a way to attract viewers and sponsors.

“Has anyone tried to find out?”

“Oh plenty. But no one can get near him. He’s got an army of bodyguards protecting him at all times.” And like clockwork, a group of burley looking men led by a slim but stern looking woman with a mohawk pushed through the crowd forming a circle around the driver. Reporters tried to shove through but they were powerless against the muscled enforcers.

A few moments later, the woman barked out orders to her subordinates and they began pushing through the crowd leading their mark to the safety of a separate room.

“Wow… must be tough to be famous.”

A sudden crash suddenly shook them making them turn to the source of the noise.

“THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!! I should be in the spotlight! Not him!” A woman in a yellow driver’s jumpsuit screamed as several mechanics held her back with a panicked look on their faces. She was thrashing and kicking like a kid who had her toy taken from her. “This is not what I was promised!”

“Velocity, please. Not here.” The older looking man tried to calm her but she wasn’t having any of it. “You’re still participating. You’re still the star.”

“Then why am I sitting back here while that wretched nobody takes all the glory!? I cannot accept this! I demand to face that faceless cur, right now!”

The mechanics quickly took her away hoping to keep her outburst contained.

“Who was that?” Rainbow asked.

“That… would be Veera Velocity.” Quibble answered shaking his head in disappointment. “She was supposed to be the poster girl for the Circuit. She had all the contracts and the PR. This whole event was supposed to skyrocket her career to the international levels. But ever since Turbo came into the picture, she’s been sidelined. I guess she wasn’t too happy to have a nobody from nowhere outshine her.”

“I’ll say.” Rainbow shrugged. Knowing well what she was feeling. “So… nobody’s ever seen his face?”

“Yup. Not even his pit crew. The guy is a complete mystery. A lot of people really want to know his real identity. So much so that they even put a bounty on it.”

“A bounty?” The man pulled out a newspaper from his pocket and highlighted a section where it was written. “Anyone who can get a photograph and the illusive driver Turbo with proof, can turn it in to the Canterlot bugle for… 500,000!?” She choked on the number. “F… five hundred thousand!?”

Half a million for a lousy photo!?

“Yup. The guys up top are really into it. People are really curious.”

“So… that means if I can get one picture of Turbo… without his helmet… I can get half a million!?”

“Correctamundo.”

Rainbow Dash held a grin. It grew wider and wider until dollar signs sprung on her eyes.

“I gotta go Quibble. Uh… thanks for the tour! Good luck on your job!”

She bolted off with her speed power before he could even reply.

“Uh… sure thing?”

Plan of Attack

Chapter 2: Plan of Attack

(Hotel Room)

“So that’s the plan.” Rainbow declared to her friends who sat around her in a circle as she briefed them on the bounty. It was a short, non-imaginative plan that lacked in anything but simplicity.

Twilight spoke first. “So let me get this straight. You want us to stalk a certain mysterious driver, get a picture of him and turn it over for a bounty?”

“Yup. It’s easy money. All we need to do is sneak through his defenses, snap a photo of him without his helmet and turn it in to the Canterlot Bugle. And them bam! We’re half a mil rich. I can use half of that cash to fix dad’s bike and split the extra between all of us.”

“That sounds easier said than done.” Sunset noted which the rest of the gang agreed.

AJ followed up. “I’m not really into the whole sneaking in and making out like bandits. But this is a little mighty bit off the morality line for me.”

“I like it!” Of course Pinkie would. “It sounds like totes fun. I can get us climbing gear and high resolution cameras.” She pulled the said gear out of her hair earning a look from her friends. “What? You never know when someone would come around and plot a crime.”

“It’s not a crime.” Rainbow defended. “It’s more of a… service. We’re just giving the people what they want. Think of how many folks want to know the REAL Turbo. All we need is get up close to him and wala, we get half a mil.”

“But haven’t a lot of people tried that already?” Twilight pointed out. “I hear his bodyguards are pretty tough.”

“Yeah, but none of them have cool awesome magic like us! Think about what we can do with the money. Pinkie, you can probably hold a thousand parties with your share.”

“I do love parties! How’d you know?”

“Fluttershy. You’ve always been going on about the animal shelters needing an extra wing to accommodate more of your furry friends.”

“They’re actually scaly. The alligators from the rainforest lost much of their home because of the dry season.”

“Rarity here can buy all the fabric she wants with her cut.”

The fashionista nodded shamelessly. “True. I’ve been eyeing this roll of Yakyakistan silk for a while now and it’s doing a number on my bottom line.”

“Twilight. You’re always talking about lab equipment.”

“There is this new centrifuge I’ve been trying to get on E-mazon. A 2nd hand. A total steal if you ask me.”

“And Sunset. The new gaming console is coming out soon. Do you really wanna work triple shifts again for an entire week?”

The redhead shivered at the thought. She recalled that memory vividly. The girl spent a whole month working two jobs while surviving on school cafeteria food and cup noodles. All in the effort to get the PlayBox Special Edition.

“It was worth it.”

“That’s right. We could all use the money. And we have the advantage here.”

Sunset scoffed. “And like I said. That’s easier said than done. Even if we were to agree to do it, we hardly know anything about what we’re up against. This is gonna take some research and a long time just to investigate.”

“I knew you were gonna say that. Which is why I called in a favor.” A knock on the door emphasized her point which she expectantly answered.

Two girls in flashy outfits strutted in, throwing confetti on the floor to welcome a third comer as a beatdrop music burst from somewhere.

“I… Photo Finish… have arrived!”

“Photo Finish here is the master of sneaking into places. I offered her a cut of the money for her help. Thanks PF.”

“Quiet! We will now discuss zee plan!” With a snap of her fingers, her two entourage hastily built a mini theater with a projector to size up the pictures. They even provided popcorn for the members. “Our target is zis person. Turbo!” A portrait of the driver in dashing red came into view. Rarity crooned slightly but her praise was left ignored. “He – or – she is zee mark of hundreds of photographers. Myzelf included. However, he has eluded us for the last month. His security detail, Zee Thunder Guards, are always around him, wherever he goes. Zey are professionals and well paid – so zey cannot be bought or bribed.”

“The leader is a girl named Tempest Shadow.” Rainbow added flipping the photo of the woman in question. “She’s the head honcho. And she’s contracted to protect Turbo’s identity till the end of the circuit. In other words, she never leaves his side.”

“Zat woman is a menace! She already broke two of my cameras and kicked me and my gefolge begleiter to zee curb!” Her entourage patted their behinds painfully in response. “But she will not stop us. Together, we will break her and get that photo! And become rich!”

“That’s… good and all.” Sunset shrugged. “But if she doesn’t leave his side – how are we gonna get close to this Turbo?”

“I’m glad you asked.” The mastermind nodded to the photographer. “PF?”

“Zeer are only two places where the bodyguards do not follow. One is at the race tracks, and zee other is at his private suite.”

The projector blinked, showing a wide picture of a luxury hotel. “Zis is the Luxury Luxuria. Zee 5 star hotel rented by zee mayor to house all zee racers.”

“Turbo is staying at the penthouse at the top floor that can only be accessed through the private elevator.” Rainbow continued. “The elevator will be patrolled by the Thunder Guards. It’s also locked with a password and keycard. There are cameras surrounding the hallways, outer area, and lobby. According to Photo Finish, only a few select people are allowed to visit the penthouse. Tempest Shadow herself, the mayor, some celebrities who are invited, and most importantly: The butler. Who brings him food and cleans the place up.”

“Phew…” Applejack whistled. “That’s a barrel and a half of obstacles… plus a bushel and a peck of impenetrability.”

“Indeed.” Rarity agreed. “This looks rather impossible even with magic.”

But Rainbow brushed it all off. “Oh don’t worry. Because Photo Finish and I cooked up a perfect plan to get us in.”

“Oh oh oh! Does it involve balloons?” Pinkie waved her hands frantically. “I can tie a bunch of them on me and float to the side of the building! Wham! They won’t even know I was there. Or we can do it spy style with suction cups to scale the wall! It would be Mission Improbable!”

“Uh… no.”

“Aww… boo.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “So what is the plan, exactly?”

“We’ll play different roles and attack from multiple angles. That way, if one of us fails, the others will still have a shot of getting that picture.” Rainbow finished. “So whadaya say gang?”

The Rainbooms glanced at one another, each sending mixed signals. Some unsure of the whole ordeal.

But thankfully Fluttershy chimed in. “Well… if it’s really that important to you, Rainbow. Then we’ll do it. That is what friends are for after all.”

“Yeah!”

“I guess so.”

“Woohoo!”

In the end, they all agreed.

With their approval, Rainbow began. “Alright then. Pinkie, you’ll be handling the distraction. You’ll draw the majority of the guards by making some confection explosions.”

“A little glitter in the kitchen and it’ll be splatter city!”

“Fluttershy will take out the cameras using her animal friends.”

“Oooh! The birds will be more than happy to help. Crows and ravens are actually attracted to cameras.”

“Sunset, you’ll use your mind reading powers to get us the password needed to access the elevator.”

“That’s… actually a good use of my powers.” The former villain reluctantly agreed.

“Twilight will lift one of their security keycards with her lifting powers.”

“It’s called telekinesis.”

“Whatever. Rarity will sow us some outfits to look like regular staff members.”

“Oooh? A rush job. I love a good challenge.”

“When all of them are distracted, that’s where Applejack will come in and deliver us to the penthouse access point.”

The cowgirl stuttered. “Me? Why me?”

“That’s because you have the most honest face around here.” The gang collectively agreed, much to Applejack’s chagrin.

“I’m not sure whether I should happy or insulted for that comment.”

“That’s where Photo Finish and I will sneak in through the food cart. With my speed and photography skills, we’ll snatch Turbo’s picture and be out of there before anyone’s the wiser. And when we turn over the picture, we’ll be half a million richer. So whadaya say gang?”

The room fell silent as the Rainboom glanced at one another. It was a plan – a risky plan. But it seems worth the try at the very least. Not to mention that the money alone was very enticing.

With a smile, the gang collectively nodded which the girl replied with a fist pump to the air.

“Yaas! Zis operation, iz a go!” Photo Finish interjected.