My Little Pony: The Movie Pitch Meeting
My Little Pony: The Movie Pitch Meeting
Author's Note
Before you read this story, this is a parody of Screen Rant Pitch Meetings.
Screen Rant Pitch Meetings is owned by Screen Rant.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro.
I own absolutely nothing and am making no profit out of this story.
Screen Rant Pitch Meetings are performed by Ryan George. (I recommend you check out his YouTube channel.)
And of course:
SPOILERS AHEAD!
My Little Pony: The Movie Pitch Meeting
Somewhere in an office studio executive room at Lionsgate Films, located somewhere in Applewood, Coltifornia
~2017
Two stallions looked at each other. Smiling at each other constantly.
One being a unicorn and the other being an earth pony, both having a khaki coat, black manes, and beards, and blue-colored eyes.
Surrounding them were some desks, a bookshelf, chairs, some photos, some decorations within the bookshelf, two windows that opened up to the parking lot and courtyard, a flat-screen computer monitor with a keyboard and mouse, and a photo of the earth pony.
The unicorn had on glasses with a shirt underneath a wool navy blue blazer. He held some papers using his magic, surrounded with a brown magic aura. On the front paper, it read in Courier 12 Public Type Font: My Little Pony: The Movie Script.
As for the earth pony, he had on a white buttoned shirt, navy blue blazer with the same colored tie. Being the movie executive he asked the unicorn screenwriter a question. "So, you have a movie for me?"
"Yes, sir I do! So you know that really long commercial we made about ponies that takes place in an alternate reality on Equestria that follows six ponies going on random adventures?"
"Oh, don't you mean My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? The television series that we rebooted in 2010 that follows Twilight Sparkle and her five friends? That also gained an unexpectedly large following of older viewers? Then yeah, I know the commercial- I mean TV show that you're talking about,"
"Yeah so I thought after seven years of this show being on the air, I thought it would be a perfect time to make a movie!"
"Really? Don't you think that it would've made sense if you could've made this movie around 2013? When our fandom was at its peak?"
"Yeah, but I wanted to see how product placement- I mean the television series would've done after seven years of launch,"
"Amazing! So what's this movie gonna sell-? I mean what's it gonna be about? Product-wise?"
"Pony toys sir! But a lot more than that!"
"Oh really? Like what?"
"More characters and a new villain too!"
"Nice! So when does this movie take place, since we need a plot for our marketing- I mean animated media?"
"The movie takes place between the season seven finale and the season eight premiere,"
"Spectacular! So what's in this thing?"
"Well, sir I thought we could start the prologue with a black screen with four glass panes, the ones similar in the throne room in Canterlot,"
"Okay,"
"And it starts with Twilight stating that there are four princesses in Equestria, one for the day, one for the night, one for love, and one that's for her."
"Okay"
"And she's gonna say that she's the princess of friendship and that as long as she has her friends and a well thought out plan, then she's the princess everypony needs her to be,"
"Alright, might as well get the exposition out of the way,"
"And then her window pane is gonna crack, where her head is at and break into millions of pieces"
"Oh my god!"
"Yeah, and she's gonna say 'some things' then the new villain is gonna say 'you just can't plan for' then she's gonna laugh while her eyes look menacingly at the screen looking into your soul, returning to the original black background we started with,"
"Oh my god! No, we can't have that!"
"What?"
"Yeah, no that's way too dark for a kid's movie!"
"But sir, it's the perfect introduction to the commercial- I mean movie! It will be set up for act one!"
"Oh god no! Please change it, right now!
"Oh well, no sir. I don't really think that's a good idea."
"Do it right now!"
"I refuse to sir! It'll set up character exposition perfectly!" Said the screenwriter. The movie executive then used his two front hooves and clapped them together two times. A red dot from a laser pointer then appeared on the screenwriter's head. "Oh, oh no!" He said moving back.
"As I said, please change it!"
"Oh, oh uhhhhhh, okay yeah so that scene never happened!"
"So how does the movie start?"
"Well, uh, we could, uh start with the song 'We Got the Beat'...?"
The movie executive then used his two front hooves and clapped them together two times. The red dot from the screenwriter's head disappeared. "Perfect! An amazing introduction!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," The screenwriter agreed.
"So, what plays during the song anyway?"
"Oh, so we're gonna start the scene with a shot of Canterlot,"
"Okay,"
"And there's gonna be this huge festival going on,"
"The Summer Sun Celebration?"
"No, the Friendship Festival,"
"Oh? How come I've never heard about this before?"
"Because for the plot I needed something so special, that it can make the movie special,"
"Ah, okay, so I guess we're gonna have this Friendship Festival again, sometime in the later seasons?"
"No,"
"Oh,"
"Yeah, I think it should just be a one-time thing, you know for the movie,"
"Yeah, but don't you think it will create some inconsistencies?"
"Nah, we'll just have this occasion just this one time and never reference it again!"
"Fair enough!"
"Yeah, so throughout the shot we're gonna have four ponies talk about how everyone from Manehattan to Saddle Arabia is present at the festival,"
"So are you sure you just wanna reference this festival once and never again? This feels like it is something as big as the Olympics,"
"Sir, I'm going to ask you to get off my back about this one,"
"Oh, sorry let me get off of that thing,"
"Yeah, so after we state that, there's gonna be this one pony who says that Twilight must be pressured because of this huge event,"
"Okay,"
"And there's gonna be this other pony talking to her who says that she's smart, organized, and cool under pressure!"
"Alright,"
The screenwriter then eyebrowed flashed the movie executive, "Pretty smart, huh?"
"Yeah, I get the irony,"
"Because Twilight is always nervous when it comes to this type of stuff,"
"Yeah, I know pretty clever,"
"Yeah so after that we're gonna cut to Twilight, who is inside the palace,"
"Nice,"
"And Spike is gonna come in, and be all like 'I got your charts and graphs',"
"What are the charts and graphs for?"
"Well, Twilight is planning to ask Princess Celestia, Luna, and Cadance to help use their magic to make sure Songbird Serenade's performance that night look super perfect,"
"Oh, Songbird Serenade is in this?! How did you get her to join the film?"
"Using the money we are going to make from our profits,"
"Awesome! Who is she gonna play as?"
"Herself,"
"Fair enough,"
"Yeah, and after some talking, we said that she will make an original song for us!"
"Oh, what's the song called?"
"'Rainbow',"
"Oh! Is it gonna be lighthearted and catchy?"
"Well, it's gonna be catchy but not lighthearted!"
"What?"
"Yeah, it's gonna be super dark and kinda sad in an upbeat melody!"
"Yeah, but you do realize that we need a song that isn't dark right?"
"Don't worry sir! Because I got this band from the north to record this song called 'Off To See The World'. Which has this super positive message about being off to see the world,"
"Perfect, I worried for a second!"
"Yeah, so anyway back to the story, the three princesses are going to disagree with Twilight's plan,"
"How come?"
"Because Princess Celestia is gonna say that they use their magic in their own way and she has all the magic she needs - the magic of friendship,"
"Yeah, okay but wouldn't it be pretty reasonable if they agreed?"
"Whachoo talkin' 'bout?"
"Well, I mean Twilight and her friends did save Equestria thousands of times! Wouldn't it make sense if they were to agree to repay the effort Twilight needed when lives were at stake?"
"Look, sir! It conveys the message that sometimes you don't need three princesses that you've saved to make the perfect performance!"
"Oh, that was the message? Sorry then, whoops!"
"Whoopies!"
"Then what else happens?"
"After that, we're gonna cut to the Mane 6, preparing for the festival,"
"Okay,"
"Yeah, and it's gonna show stuff that shows their personality, like Pinkie Pie preparing ballon, Fluttershy making sure her choir of birds is practicing, Rarity preparing the stage with ribbons, Applejack selling her cider, and Rainbow Dash being an alcoholic,"
"Oh, alcohol jokes are tight!"
"Yeah, but then some chaos will unfold during their preparations that will have no impact on the plot,"
"Oh!"
"Yeah, then Twilight is going to show up with Spike and is gonna be super sad,"
"Because some princesses who can't defend themselves refused to help out an occasion that as big as this?"
"Yep!"
"Oh okay, just wanted to make sure,"
"Yeah, so Twilight is gonna be Twilighting, being super nervous because of the event,"
"Understandable,"
"Then Pinkie Pie is going pressure Twilight more stating that this moment will define her entire life because of her festival,"
"Wait, so this is Twilight's festival?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah,"
"But knowing Twilight and how organized she is wouldn't it make sense to prepare the day before and not during?"
"Sir! I'm going to have to ask you again to stay off my back about this!"
"Oh sorry! Let me get off of that thing!"
"Yeah, then Pinkie is going to be like 'But you have us! So stop worrying."
"Alright,"
"Then Applejack will start a musical number and start singing!"
"What do they sing?"
"They sing the song 'We Got This Together',"
"Awesome!"
"Yeah then after the song, Pinkie is going to launch this huge cannon of cake and it's going to land on Twilight!"
"Okay,"
"But then Songbird Serenade is going to show up with two bodyguard unicorns in suits who look like the two main characters in Pulp Fiction and are going to have wallet cutie marks!"
"Oh, pop culture references are tight!"
"Yeah, so then after Songbird introduces herself to Twilight, some black clouds are going to show up!"
"Oh no!"
"Yeah, so after that, a zeppelin is going come down and destroy about four pillars of concrete, and the entire sky is going to be smoggy and gray,
"Oh, things are starting to get intense! Though you do realize that this is a kid's movie?"
"Yes, sir I do know! So for comic relief Pinkie, is going to say 'Ooh! I bet those are the clowns I ordered!' Then after some debris falls on her ballons she going to say 'Or definitely not the clowns I ordered.',"
"Fantastic!"
"Yeah, so then one balloon is going to get pushed from her balloon cart, and then the ship stops, and when the bridge falls from the zeppelin that's connected to the door, it's going to land on the balloon and one guy is going to be like 'Brian, no!',"
"That's fantastic, but I have to question, why 'Brian'? Sounds unordinary compared to the rest of the names that we established in our cinematic universe,"
"Oh well, I'd thought it'll be clever because there's this one 2011 My Little Pony fanfiction called 'My Little Dashie' and the main protagonist is named Brian, and I'd thought it'll be a nice nod of acknowledgment to the fanfiction,"
"Oh, another pop culture reference!"
"Yeah!" Said the screenwriter, with a steady stream of tears coming out of his eyes.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah totally, I just haven't blinked in a while,"
"Oh okay, so what happens next?"
"A small male pug-faced hedgehog named 'Grubber' is then going to walk down with a box that then transforms into a speaker with a microphone,"
"Alright,"
"And he's going to announce everyone to give up their freedom of speech for Storm King!"
"Ooh! And Storm King walks through the door?"
"No, this other bad pony named 'Shadow Tempest',"
"Oh,"
"Yeah, it turns out her horn is broken and pretty much cut in half,"
"Oh my god! That's terrifying!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's going to make an entrance alright! Then Princess Celestia is going to ask her what she wants, and Shadow Tempest is going to ask her nicely to - you know surrender!"
"Ooh! Things are getting pretty intense!"
"Yeah, so then Princess Luna is pretty much going to say that cliche 'You and what army?' quote,"
"Oh, so what does she say?"
"She says," The screenwriter then looked on his paper, "'And why should we cower before you? There's one of you and hundreds of us.'" The screenwriter then looked back on the movie executive.
"Pretty original if you ask me!"
"Yeah, then Shadow Tempest is going to be like: 'I was hoping you'd choose 'difficult',"
"Okay, so what's Tempest's deal anyway?"
"Oh, so you know how her horn is broken?"
"Yeah,"
"She wants to get her horn back so she can use magic at a safe, ordinary level. She works for Storm King so that he can restore Tempest's horn to its original state, using the Staff of Sacanas!"
"Sounds reasonable, how about Storm King? What's his deal?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, what are his motives to capture Canterlot?"
"Well, sir, he has no character arc. He's just your generic antagonist who looks evil and is evil for no reason or motive,"
"Okay but you still haven't answered why he wants to take control of Canterlot,"
"Oh, so he can use the Staff of Sacanas to take the magic of all four princesses!"
"Alright, cool so he does have a motive! But why is he power-hungry?"
"Because!"
"That works!"
"Yeah, so then two more zeppelins are going to come and Storm King's henchmen are going to start the invasion of Canterlot!"
"Then the Canterlot Royal Guards show up, attack Tempest and kill her?"
"What?"
"Yeah, Tempest and Storm King's henchmen are about to invade the capital of a country, I'm sure the military would do anything in their power to stop her,"
"Yeah, but I didn't write that down,"
"Oh, so I guess Starlight Glimmer, then shows up, uses her magic, and beams the living hell out of Tempest?"
"Please stop, I didn't write that down,"
"I mean she's one of the main characters of seasons six and seven, why didn't you write that down?"
"Sir, I wrote this script back in late 2013,"
"Oh my god!"
"Yeah, I'd've probably added her, but anyways-"
"Ooh! Then Star Swirl the Bearded and the rest of the five Pillars of Equestria come to stop her?"
"Please stop!"
"Well, it'd make sense because this takes place after the season seven finale!"
"Well, sir! When we do release this movie, the latest episode will be 'Marks and Recreation' not to mention 'Once Upon a Zeppelin' will release a day after. Not to mention again that the finale is not airing until three weeks and a day after we release this movie. We don't wanna spoil the season seven finale! Also too, don't we wanna release this on November 3? Wouldn't it make sense to release it after the finale?"
"Well we could but October is our thing,"
"What do you mean?"
"Well the original release date for the television series was October the tenth, so I think it would make sense to release on the sixth to make it as close to the original release date as much as possible,"
"Okay, then I guess that makes sense,"
"Trust me it does,"
"So then, I guess Discord shows up and snaps his fingers to make the zeppelin disappear and trap Tempest in a cage?"
"Please, get off back once again, sir!"
"You didn't write that down?! That kinda seems unordinary for Discord to not be present at a huge event like the Friendship Festival,"
"Yeah, but I'll put down that he was on vacation on Twitter!"
"That doesn't sound like Discord!"
"Okay, then I guess I'll just tweet that he just didn't know about it,"
"He was there for the Grand Galloping Gala in Season Five,"
"Well, I- uh,"
"You're a pretty shitty screenwriter, why didn't you make it reasonable for the Canterlot Royal Guards, Starlight, or Discord to come to attack?"
"Although that kinda hurt my feelings, I'm glad you asked sir! I've done some reading and I read this thing in storytelling called the 'suspension of disbelief',"
"What's that?"
The screenwriter then pulled out a dictionary using his magic. He opened and flipped through the pages until he got to the page he needed to be. "The definition says right here that 'the intentional avoidance of critical thinking or in examining something unreal or impossible in reality, such as a work of speculative fiction, in order to believe it for the sake of enjoyment.'," He stopped reading and looked at the movie executive.
"Oh, so the audience will just overlook unrealistic things?"
"Yep!"
"Huh, interesting! So what happens next?"
"So as Storm King's henchmen start invading, Tempest is going to jump and air-kick this black-green orb and attack the four princesses!"
"Oh no!"
"Yeah so then, Princesses Cadance is then going to then jump in front of Princess Celestia and Luna to protect them from the oncoming orb!"
"The princesses don't have bodyguards?"
"My back sir, you're on it!"
"Oh, oh... yeah,"
"Yeah, so then Cadance's magic is not going to work, the orb is going to break and release this gas the turns ponies into stone,"
"Oh my god!"
"Yeah, so after Cadance gets turned into stone, Celestia is going to tell Luna to go south past the badlands and to seek help from the Queen of the Hippo-,"
"Hippo- what?"
"Well, you see sir we need to end the message on a cliffhanger so that everyone can know what she is not talking about,"
"Oh okay, so do you wanna tell me-,"
"No,"
"Oh, alright,"
"Yeah so as Princess Celestia says that she is going to get covered in stone, and Luna is going to start to fly but she is also going to get covered in stone as well!"
"Oh my god! So Princess Luna then dies after she falls and crumbles into millions of pieces?"
"No, Twilight will just use her magic to lower back Luna, so she'll still be safe!"
"Amazing!"
"Yeah, so anyway Tempest is going to aim and kick the orb to Twilight!"
"Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow,"
"Yeah, so as it's on its way to Twilight we-"
"Roll credits?"
"Oh my god! No! Rainbow Dash pushes Twilight out of the way and uses Derpy,"
"Oh okay, I was going to say this was going to be a short movie,"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
"So Rainbow Dash uses Derpy to save Twilight? That's pretty inconsiderate of her,"
"Yes, sir it is! Pretty smart move of her, huh?"
"Yeah, it is!"
"Yeah, so then after Derpy gets turned into stone and Tempest realizes she is going to order Grubber to get Twilight,"
"And what's Grubber's deal?"
"Oh, Grubber is just a generic good guy in the bad guy's team,"
"Okay, but what's his character arc?"
"There is no character arc for him,"
"Fair enough!"
"Yeah, so the Mane Six are going to flee on a bridge above a river that turns into a waterfall, but two of Storm KIng's henchmen are at the other side and with no way back, Twilight uses her magic to-"
"Lift them away?"
"No, to blast them but the guard's shield is going to ricochet off his shield and hit the bridge the Mane Six and Spike are on!"
"Oh my god! Then they die? Canterlot is like one thousand feet above the ground!"
"Well, sir I-"
"It's time to roll credits, baby!"
"No, they're going to survive the fall,"
"Oh,"
"Yeah so then after that, Twilight mentions the Queen they need to find,"
"I bet that's gonna be pretty hard since the queen is evil,"
"Oh my god, no!"
"What?"
"The queen is not evil, sir!"
"Why would you think that?"
"Well, you do realize the for the early concepts of the show Celestia and Luna were gonna be queens! I don't know about you but you're getting inconsistent about this again,"
"I know but I'll appreciate it if you can get aaaaaaaaaall the way off my back about this!"
"Oh sorry, let me get off of that thing!"
"Yeah, so then after some convincing and a Hungry Hungry Hippos joke, the Mane Six and Spike are off to save Equestria!"
"Oh, advertising within a feature-length advertisement is tight!"
"Hell yeah, it is!"
"So I guess the Mane Six have to hijack a train in means of transportation to get to the south as fast as possible?"
"No, they're gonna... walk,"
"Oh,"
"Yeah, they're gonna walk, walk, walk, and walk,"
"A very walky adventure!"
"Yeah, so back in Canterlot, the Storm Creatures are gonna chain everyone up!"
"Okay,"
"Yeah, then one Storm Creature is gonna cut seven ballons, all of them having the same color as the Mane Six and Spike too!"
"Irony, I love it!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, so then Tempest is gonna be inside the throne room with two guards next to a brewing pot,"
"Okay,"
"Then we're gonna have a potion that can do facetime, and after hearing a very familiar ringtone, kinda like a phone,"
"Alright, so does that mean there are potions that have the ability just for regular phone calls?"
"Oh, please don't think too much about this!"
"Oh sorry, then please continue,"
"So after answering the phone call using pretty bad connection, we are going to see Storm King, and he is going to pretty much not know what the Staff of Sacanas is!"
"The Staff of Sacanas? That's pretty much the Infinity Gaunlet of the MLP franchise, how does he not know?"
"Because!"
"That works!"
"Yeah, so then Storm King is gonna say that he has the power to fix her horn and that if Tempest fails, he's gonna break her!"
"Oh my god!"
"Yeah, I needed something to raise the stakes so I thought this would be good!"
"Yeah, but is the Storm King really that gritty?"
"No, sir he isn't! He actually is super goofy and silly so that'll cancel out the dark morbid threats that I added here!"
"Awesome! So what happens next?"
"Tempest is gonna say that to give her three days to get everything ready for his arrival!"
"Alright,"
"Then we're gonna make a phone joke stating that it was bad spell service!"
"Oh, phone jokes are tight!"
"Yeah, after the spell call Grubber is going to let Tempest know that Twilight got away,"
"Alright,"
"Yeah, so Tempest with Grubber is going to prepare their ship and head off to get Twilight,"
"Okay, looking good so far!"
"Yeah, so after that, the Mane Six and Spike are going to be in Bone Dry Desert,"
"Oh my god! Bone Dry Desert!? How did they get there in a single day?"
"I don't know,"
"Fair enough,"
"Yeah, so after that, we are going to show them almost losing their minds due to dehydration!"
"Okay,"
"Yeah, and they're gonna enter Klugetown!"
"Klugetown? But that place has crime rates up to one hundred percent!"
"Yeah, but with the budget of what we have I'm sure the SFX team will just make it look nicer,"
"Fair enough!"
"Yeah, so then when they do enter Klugetown there's gonna be so many things that seem pretty gritty, but they'll soon get the attention of an anthropomorphic cat,"
"Alright,"
"So Twilight is gonna tell the rest to lay low and blend in,"
"Sounds pretty reasonable,"
"Yeah, but then Pinkie is gonna yell getting the whole town's attention,"
"Not very bright of her,"
"No sir she isn't, for most of the movie she isn't gonna be as bright as she is in the series,"
"Alright, but why?"
"So the movie can happen,"
"Oh, right gotcha,"
"Yeah, so then after Twilight tells Pinkie to stay quiet, and all of the creatures are gonna surround the Mane Six and Spike,"
"Oh no!"
"Yeah, and one creature is gonna ask Twilight how much Spike is and named him a gecko,"
"Don't you think that's offensive to any dragon viewers who are gonna watch his movie?"
"No sir! I feel like this will age just fine!"
"Alright!"
"Yeah, so then the creatures are gonna want to buy the Mane Six and Spike too,"
"Don't you think that's just another way of saying that they're gonna be slaves?"
"No, sir! I don't think so!"
"I don't know that kinda sounds like slavery to me,"
"No sir it isn't!"
"Well, it's whatever we'll just change the script later,"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah... So, uh, anyways when the creatures get closer and closer to them the anthropomorphic cat is gonna jump right in front of them and protect them,"
"Oh, so what's his deal?"
"His name is Capper Dapperpaws and he is a con artist!"
"Oh! What's his personality?"
"He is playing life on charisma one hundred,"
"Sounds appropriate for a con artist,"
"Yeah, then he is gonna make up a disease and name it 'pastelis coloritis' because the Mane Six and Spike are pretty colorful,"
"Yeah, that's true, how does he convince the crowd that they're infected?"
"By dipping his tail in purple slime conveniently right next to him, polka-dotting a creature, then tell him to enjoy his last moments in his life as his limbs may fall off!"
"Oh my god! Are there any lighthearted moments?"
"He's gonna sing a song about ten seconds later - so it'll be fine! But Twilight is gonna be paranoid about trusting him, but he has charisma and game. So he's gonna start singing!"
"What does he sing?"
"'I'm the Friend You Need',"
"Purrfect! Are there any cat puns?"
"No,"
"Oh,"
"Then he's gonna tell his guy named 'Needy' to get his other guy named Verko, to come to his place so he can buy the Mane Six and Spike as slaves so it can erase his entire debt!"
"Who the hell are Needy and Verko?"
"So are going to cut to them arriving in Capper's house, Twilight finds a book that looks helpful,"
"Okay, but I'm still not a big fan of this whole 'slave' thing,"
"Yeah but we'll probably change it, anyways Tempest, Grubber, and Storm King's henchmen are gonna arrive in Klugetown,"
"How did they know they were gonna be in Klugetown?"
"I don't know,"
"I guess that raises the stakes,"
"Yeah so after seeing Pinkie's hair on a wooden plank and tackling a Kludgetowner, Tempest is gonna interrogate him,"
"Alright,"
"Meanwhile in Capper's house, after hearing some stories from Rainbow Dash, Rarity fixes his coat, which you know - surprises him. Twilight reads the book she saw, it turns out that Celestia wasn't talking about the Queen of the Hippos, it was actually the Queen of the Hippogriffs!"
"Oh, yeah they live on Mount Aris,"
"So they go to Mount Aris!"
"Nice!"
"So as they see Mount Aris through Capper's window, and head out the door Capper is gonna stall!"
"How come?"
"So Verko, and come in and buy the Mane Six and Spike!"
"Oh my god!"
"Yeah, so then we make a 'The Shining' reference when Verko opens the door to purchase them!"
"I do not agree with this slave shit at all!"
"Yeah, then he's gonna show a cage carriage to put them all in, it's gonna look really cute!"
"Please stop,"
"Tempest walks in with the rest of the crew, but right before getting to Twilight, Verko is going to distract Tempest by holding her cheeks and calling her 'my little pony-wony',"
"That's the name of the movie!"
"Yes, sir it is! Pretty clever huh?"
"Oh saying the name of the movie within the movie is tight!"
"Yeah so, he's gonna get electrocuted, fall and we are never gonna see him again!"
"Oh my god!"
"Yeah, so as that happens the Mane Six and Spike are gonna hang off from this windmill that's connected to Capper's house, right?"
"Uhhh alright?"
"So then Twilight and Rainbow Dash are gonna use their wings to rotate the windmill to push them down to the ground to safety,"
"Yeah, but doesn't Fluttershy have wings too? Why couldn't she help?"
"Well, sir we're just gonna erase all character development she had for seven years, not to mention she's barely gonna talk throughout the rest of the movie!"
"Well, she did just fight Stygian also known as the Pony of Shadows!"
"My back sir! It's I'm getting pretty tired of carrying you!"
"Oh sorry, let me stay off that thing!"
"Yeah, so as Twilight and Rainbow Dash try to push a henchman is going to hold against it and with both forces held together, the windmill is going to break and spin out of control,"
"Okay,"
"So as it spins, it's gonna crash into a tall building with scaffolding, and destroy the path behind the Mane Six and Spike. As they run, Twilight is gonna notice a zeppelin. Right?"
"Right,"
"They're gonna get to the docks and Rainbow Dash is going to grab the zeppelin's anchoring rope. So the rest are going to have to tightrope walk instead of Fluttershy, and Twilight,"
"Okay,"
"Yeah, but as Spike, tightrope walks, Pinkie is going to jump up on the rope, making Rainbow Dash lose grip causing Pinkie to fall to her death,"
"And Spike?"
"Oh, he's just gonna hang on,"
"Wow, Pinkie isn't really bright in this film,"
"Yeah, her intelligence and perception are going to be really low compared to her in the series,"
"So what happens next to Pinkie Pie? She falls to her death, goes splat, and dies?"
"Oh no! Cause Twilight is going to be behind her and she's gonna dive to grab her at the nick of time before she hits the ground,"
"Why not just use her magic?"
"Because we need to raise the stakes here, just for the movie!"
"Ah okay, that makes sense,"
"Yeah, so they're gonna stowaway on this zeppelin that is occupied by pirates!"
"How about Capper? What happened to him?"
"He's gonna be interrogated by Tempest, asking him where the Mane Six and Spike are going,"
"What does he say?'
"He's gonna they're headed to Black Skull Island toward the east,"
"Why does he lie? Tempest just practically killed Verko, erasing all debt Capper owned to him,"
"Remember how I said that Rarity fixes his coat?"
"Yeah,"
"He's gonna look at his coat and remember the generosity that Rarity showed him, and that will change his mind,"
"I don't think people change their minds that easily, especially a con artist,"
"Yeah but he's reformed now so, he is now going to be one of the good guys,"
"He just tried to sell the Mane Six and Spike into slavery for money, and he just changed his mind when somepony sewed his coat. Not to mention he already had the materials in his house,"
"Listen, sir, please stop pointing out all of the plot holes that I have made,"
"Oh sorry, let me stop pointing out those things,"
"Yeah, so anyways, Tempest is gonna keep Capper as a hostage in case if he is lying,"
"Makes sense,"
"So we're gonna cut to the Mane Six and Spike who are hiding from a crew of anthropomorphic parrots,"
"Okay, but why not ponies?"
"Because!"
"That works!"
"And they're gonna get caught on the ship!"
"So what do they do?"
"Listen to the captain, which is Captain Celaeno,"
"That sentence is not technically wrong. So what does Captain Celaeno do?"
"She reads Storm King's rule book and it says to throw them overboard,"
"Oh, so I guess Twilight uses her magic to defeat them?"
"No, it's gonna hit noon and they're going to stop everything they're doing immediately for lunch,"
"What? Storm King's rule book states that by the time it's lunch to stop everything you're doing? Including the fact that there are stowaways within the compounds of your ship?"
"That's what we're going with!"
"Alright, if that's in the rule book. So do they lock them up in a cage or something?"
"No, they're also gonna feed the Mane Six and Spike,"
"That's in the rule book too?"
"Please don't think about this took much!"
"A- alright,"
"Yeah, so during lunch Rainbow Dash is going to question their authority in following the rule book,"
"I would do the same,"
"But it's going to turn out that Storm King only allows them to have one break a day for meals,"
"Storm King is underfeeding their workforce?"
"Yep!"
"Oh, so I guess that the captain is a superior officer that overlooks the entire ship to make sure they follow orders?"
"Nope, they're just by themselves,"
"They're by themselves? So why can't they just eating as many times as they want with nopony watching over them? That has insane implications of how Storm King can trust the people that work for him."
"Yeah, I know, but don't think about this too much about his business,"
"Kinda hard to not think about when that is the main antagonist of the movie,"
"Yeah, but the next thirty seconds will be pretty fast so nopony can really think about them,"
"Really? What's gonna happen in the next thirty seconds?"
"Spike is going to ask if they are couriers, which Captain Celaeno replies that they are. Twilight is going is ask them if they could take them to Mount Aris, but she states that they can't because they have to follow Storm King's orders,"
"Yeah, but nopony is physically stopping them,"
"So Rainbow Dash is going to ask them what they used to be before Storm King and they're gonna reveal that they're pirates!"
"I think pirates are a little too strong for a kid's movie, I prefer the words: swashbuckling treasure hunters,"
"Ew, I don't like that idea,"
"Yeah, but we'll just put pirates as a placeholder until now,"
"So then, Rainbow Dash is going to start singing a song about how much they have become losers, and must change in order to be awesome,"
"Back into pirates? Whose objective is to steal and rob ships for loot?"
"Yeah, but these are nice pirates so they won't do that sort of thing,"
"Oh sorry, that was rude of me, I didn't realize these were 'nice' pirates."
"Yeah so, Rainbow Dash is going to convince the entire crew to become pirates again in a three-minute song,"
"Rainbow Dash is going to start a rebellion with just that song?"
"Yep! And they're gonna open up a colorful sail to show that they hate the Storm King!"
"Wow, I didn't know it took some singing to change some people's minds. What's the song called?"
"Time to Be Awesome,"
"Pretty straightforward but I like it,"
"Yeah, so then she is going to perform a sonic rainboom even when Twilight wishes her not to,"
"Yeah, no kidding, they're wanted ponies!"
"So she performs it!"
"Ah, wow that's not very loyal and smart of her if she almost gave away their location,"
"No, sir that is absolutely not smart! So Tempest sees the rainboom and the ship where it's at."
"Wow, that's not very bright of Rainbow Dash at all!"
"No sir it isn't! So she begins to follow and board the ship!"
"Oh no! So does she use her cannons to sink Tempest's ship?"
"She doesn't have cannons at all!"
"That's not very pirate-y at all! What type of pirate ship doesn't have cannons?"
"Apparently not this one sir! So they plan to hide the Mane Six and Spike inside the ship before Tempest comes,"
"So what do they do?"
"Well, once Tempest approaches Captain Celaeno, they all pretend that nothing ever happened,"
"Even though clearly, the Mane Six and Spike are hiding underneath them inside the ship?"
"Exactly, so Twilight hatches a plan,"
"Oh, she does? Is she gonna teleport them out of there?"
"Nope, she is going to grab some rope, a Storm King flag, and a crate. Open the trapdoor underneath all of them and fall,"
"Oh wow, that is not a great plan at all,"
"But it is! See, she's gonna use her magic to make a hot air balloon to carry everypony while falling in mid-air,"
"Finally, Twilight actually uses her magic,"
"Yeah, we've finally reached that point in the movie where she's gonna use her magic! Anyway, after making the hot air balloon they are going to head to Mount Aris."
"Okay, but what happened on the ship as they are falling?"
"We're gonna cut to Captain Celaeno with her crew and Capper who are all taken hostage under Tempest and her mini army,"
"So what does she do?"
"Blow up the ship!"
"Wait, she just exploded the ship?"
"Yeah, in like three seconds it becomes to ash,"
"Wow, hopefully, it was a quick and painless death for Captain Celaeno's pirate crew and Capper,"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, but before she does Grubber is going to show her a map that shows where the Mane Six and Spike are going,"
"How did he find a map?"
"Unclear!"
"That works!"
"So we're going to cut to the Mane Six and Spike who crashed into the bottom of Mount Aris,"
"Why couldn't they crash on top of the Mountain?"
"Because they ran out of hot air,"
"But they have Spike, I'm pretty sure he doesn't run out of fire,"
"Look, sir. We really need to progress with the story here. I just added it so we can add this funny scene with Rarity being a drama queen,"
"Oh alright. I'd imagine after everything she's been through she'll understand what it'll take to save Equestria and all ponies who are now turned into slaves against their will, she'll finally understand what it means to be a key element in the Mane Six's friendship but alright,"
"Yeah, so when they reach the top of Mount Aris the place is going look like as if it's been abandoned for years! And I mean years!"
"So the Mane Six and Spike's mission was all in vain?"
"No! Because Twilight is going to hear some singing coming from a different room! And so after she and the rest follow it they are going to see an orb singing in a flower in a room with a pool in it,"
"Okay,"
"But then after hearing a rock crumble below Pinkie's hoof, the orb is going to get startled and jump into the water!"
"So the Mane Six and Spike follow it?"
"The Mane Six and Spike follow it!"
"So what happens then?"
"A whirlpool occurs and swallows them all into the pool!"
"Oh my god! They're going to drown?"
"Nope because before they drown a seapony is going to rescue them!"
"Then why become startled and jump into the water if the seapony was going to talk to them in the first place?"
"I- I don't know,"
"Well, it's alright I guess. By this point of the film, there are way too many plotholes so I don't need a reason,"
"Great! Because I don't have one!"
"That's fine!"
"Yeah, so Twilight is going to explain that the reason they are there is because Equestria is under attack and they need help,"
"So what does the seapony do?"
"She tells them that her mom will know what to do and takes them to an underwater city called 'Seaquestria',"
"Puns, I should've seen that coming,"
"Yeah, so after taking them to a throne room, we're gonna meet another seapony who is floating on a throne and is freaking out that her daughter who is named 'Princess Skystar' allowed surface dwellers into Seaquestria."
"Wait?! A queen? So she's evil?"
"What?"
"You do realize that queens are evil right? Like Queen Chrysalis?"
"Yeah, but not this queen! She's going to be very paranoid though, we discussed this before,"
"No kidding! They could be there to assassinate her! So does she order the guards or something?"
"Yeah, she does! And they post a significant threat to them,"
"Really?! How?"
"By threatening to pop the Mane Six and Spike's bubble helmets that are keeping them alive,"
"Oh my god!"
"But they won't so don't worry!"
"Alright, now that I think about it why is there an underwater city?"
"Well, Princess Skystar explains that the Storm King that the Hippogriffs did live on Mount Aris but they fleed the city because of Queen Novo's efforts,"
"Oh, so the queen's name is Queen Novo?"
"Yep,"
"Wow, this queen is a not-so-evil-person! Nice job, she protected her people,"
"Thanks, sir! So anyways Princess Skystar is going to show them how they became seaponies,"
"How did they become seaponies?"
"Because of this orb that is protected by these weird strings that make the Mane Six into seaponies while Spike turns into a tetraodontidae,"
"What the hell is a tetraodontidae?"
"A pufferfish, sorry about that,"
"Oh, that makes sense, but that's a perfect idea for merchandising! I- I mean plot advancement,"
"Thanks again! So after that Twilight is going to ask if she can use the orb to create everypony back in Equestria into something powerful to order to take Storm King by force,"
"Smart idea,"
"Yeah, but Queen Novo is not going to like her idea because she's afraid it might end up in Storm King's claws!"
"So how does Twilight counter-argue?"
"That's the thing, sir! She doesn't!"
"What?"
"Yeah so instead she's going to steal it!"
"How is she going to steal an orb that is protected by those weird strings? Not to mention probably guarded by guards as well?"
"Well, for one Queen Novo is going to get called for her seaweed wrap,"
"I have no idea what you just said, but I'm going to roll with it,"
"Secondly, as for the guards, there are no guards!"
"Wow, a non-guardy-guarded place!"
"Yeah! So anyway after realizing that their mission was in vain Princess Skystar is going to say how they can make friendship bracelets out of shells, picture frames out of shells, and decorative trash cans out of shells,"
"Surely, she must have some friends,"
"She doesn't,"
"That's depressing,"
"Bbbbbut, she does have two seashells called 'Shelly' and 'Sheldon',"
"That's even more depressing, are you saying that out of hundreds of seaponies that live in Seaquestria neither one of them accepts Princess Skystar as a friend?"
"Ooooooh, stop thinking about the worldbuilding that I wrote,"
"I- alright,"
"So next, the Mane Six and Spike decline of staying in Seaquestria because their families are in danger,"
"No kidding! Everypony is basically a slave in Canterlot by now,"
"Yeah, so then Pinkie is going to feel bad about leaving Seaquestria and asks Twilight if they could stay a little longer,"
"So she accepts and uses the time to steal the orb is a not-so-obvious way of using her friends?"
"Yep! She accepts and uses the time to steal the orb is a not-so-obvious way of using her friends!"
"Wow, so what do the rest of the girls and Spike do?"
"They sing,"
"What do they sing?"
"One Small Thing,"
"They sing about things to do?"
"Yeah,"
"That's pretty weird but I'll accept,"
"Yeah, so after the song ends Queen Novo is going to come back and realizes her mistakes and allows the Mane Six and Spike to use the orb to save Equestria,"
"Oh, it's nice to see the realization of your mistakes when-,"
"SIKE! After accepting her mistakes and see how happy her daughter is an alarm is going to go off signaling that the orb is attempting to be stolen,"
"Oh, that's right Twilight was going to steal it,"
"Exactly,"
"Did she use magic to move the orb or..."
"Nope, she just swims into the strings protecting the orb tangling her in it,"
"Ah, yeah that's right she doesn't really use magic in this film,"
"So then Queen Novo is going to get super angry and uses the orb to turn the Mane Six and Spike back to their original selves,"
"In the throne room?"
"Nope, presumably near the surface, so they wash up to the shore and the rest of the Mane Six except Spike is going to be super pissed at Twilight for attempting to steal the orb when finally Queen Novo changed her mind,"
"Oh arguing time! Does this mean that we have the cliche that they are going to argue then reconcile after some devastating event like Twilight getting captured?"
"Yep! Though don't you think that has gotten old?"
"Nah, I'm sure it isn't,"
"I hope you're right since this plot is kinda predictable. Anyways, Pinkie is going to realize that Twilight just used her to distract her. Twilight is then going counter-argue that she never would have done it but they are not in Equestria. After that, she is going to point out that they trusted con artists, and make rainbooms in the sky. Mostly pointing those out because she felt like that they didn't take the mission as seriously as she was,"
"That's a good point,"
"Yeah but Pinkie is going to say that they are all in this together and they were going to get the help they needed until Twilight messed it up,"
"Um, alright though I don't think Pinke understands the gravity of the situation,"
"Yeah, Twilight just points out how the five forgot about the mission, even though they think everything is still fine,"
"Alright, so what happens next?"
"Twilight calls Pinkie Pie useless. Then Pinkie gets sad like she's the main character of the film and walks away with the rest of the Mane Six, part ways except for Spike,"
"So the rest of them yell at Twilight, but Twilight can't yell at them?"
"Yeah, though before anypony can think of that we're just gonna cut the camera to Twilight who is now super depressed,"
"Oh, I'm supposed to feel sad but I'm not,"
"Yeah, so as Twilight is going to cry now knowing that all hope is lost, Spike tries to comfort her,"
"Alright,"
"But Spike gets held by a Storm King henchman and Twilight tries to save him but a magic-proof cage drops on her and prevents her to use her magic to save Spike,"
"Oh my god! An ambush!"
"Yeah, but Spike manages to escape by using his fire to give third-degree burns to the Storm King henchman's claw,"
"That's pretty intense for a kid's movie,"
"Yeah, it is! So the cage pulls her up to the zeppelin to the bottom deck, where Twilight attempts to escape but can't even though the jail bars are wide enough for her to escape,"
"Hopefully nopony notices that,"
"Yeah, so Tempest is going to taunt Twilight, by calling her the 'Princess of Friendship' without any friends. Twilight, however, is going to ask her what her motives are,"
"So she explains?"
"No, she sings,"
"Oh,"
"Yeah, she's gonna sing about how she thinks having friends is the worse thing ever,"
"So, she doesn't explain to Twilight directly why she is doing the things she does?"
"Yeah,"
"What's the song called?"
"'Open Up Your Eyes',"
"Ah, so she sings about how she needs to know how useless friendship is?'
"Like I said before, correct,"
"Great! Making friends are pretty pointless,"
"So she's going to show Twilight the landscape of Equestria and on the very bottom corner show Ponyville even though it's practically not visible,"
"At least we get to show Ponyville,"
"Yeah, so after Twilight accepts her defeat, we are going to cut to the Mane Six- I mean Five, and their morale is super low,"
"Yeah, no kidding! They tried to get somepony to help them but none came,"
"So, Spike is going to go back to the beach and warn them that Twilight got ponynapped by Tempest,"
"What happened to that other guy?"
"What?"
"Yeah, the guy that got his claw burnt to a crisp,"
"Don't worry about him,"
"Um, alright,"
"So then Capper is going to show up!"
"What? Capper the guy who got reformed even though he could've just told Tempest where the Mane Six and Spike went, taking advantage of them?! That Capper?! I thought he died!"
"Yeah, but he didn't!"
"How?"
"I don't know!"
"Wow, I feel bad for Captain Celaeno since she and the rest of-"
"Then Captain Celaeno and the rest of her pirate crew show up!"
"And they cheated death too?"
"Yeah! Even though their ship got sunk, and somehow survived. They are going to help the Mane Five, Spike, and Capper by defeating the Storm King,"
"Wow, wow, wow, wow!"
"Yeah, then Princess Skystar is going to show up in her hippogriff form! And decided on this suicide mission to help the Mane Six and Spike with their cause!"
"Wow, we're really going all-in with this!"
"Hell yeah! And now we're going to have this huge Third Act fight like you've never seen before!"
"Oh boy! Hopefully, people don't realize that his film has the 'everypony you meet then will help you fight the antagonist after some time and will band together on the mission' cliche,"
"Yeah, well then no, you have seen this before,"
"Oh,"
"Yeah, the protagonist and the other good guys will get together to stop the antagonist, in which the antagonist loses,"
"Yeah, that does happen in every kid's movie,"
"So back in Canterlot, Songbird Serenade will see Twilight in her cage while some guards take her away to the throne room, and that's the only time she's gonna have any significance to the story."
"Oh, well yeah that's a lot of money just by having her in the movie. We can't go too far and go over-budget,"
"Yeah, so then in the throne room with the other three princesses, Tempest is going to tell Twilight that she lost,"
"Alright, even though she kinda mentioned it twice now,"
"So then Storm King's gonna enter!"
"Oh! Wow! I bet he's all evil-looking!"
"Yeah but now really! He's more like an evil Star-Lord!"
"Oh,"
"Yeah, like I said he's just your generic antagonist who looks evil and is evil for no reason or motive,"
"So what does he do?"
"He asks Tempest why Twilight is not turned to stone yet,"
"That's actually pretty smart! Her friends, Capper, Captain Celaeno, and her pirate crew, including Princess Skystar, are on their way,"
"Yeah, but they don't know about it! Not to mention Storm King forgets about it a second later and complains about the throne room looking too cute,"
"Well, yeah antagonists do complain about the throne room they are currently in,"
"So anyway, he plants down the Staff of Sacanas to collect the power from all six Infinity- wait... all four princesses,"
"My god! I'd imagine he'll be unstoppable now! He pretty much has the power of Tirek in 'Twilight's Kingdom',"
"Yeah, so the first thing he does is breaks Twilight out of her cage-,"
"Wait, he breaks Twilight out of her cage? How?"
"By blasting her with magic that breaks the wall connecting to the balcony,"
"Not the smartest move but alright!"
"Yeah, then Storm King realizes he can move the sun and the moon,"
"With the power of god, he decides to move the sun and the moon?"
"Yeah!"
"Wow, I feel like this guy is trying to be Discord. If only-,"
"Shut up!"
"Wait, can't Discord sense a magical unbalance? As stated in 'Twilight's King-',"
"I said, shut up!"
"So what happens next?"
"We cut the camera to the rest of the Mane Five, Spike, Capper, Captain Celaeno, and her pirate crew, and Princess Skystar-,"
"Oh! Yeah, I'd imagine it'll be hard for them to fight against Storm King when he has the power all the ponies in Equestria combined! It'll be a suicide mission with hard and calibrated thinking to come up with a plan to infiltrate the capital of a country that is occupied by guards from a different part of Equestria with time is of the essence!"
"Actually it's going to be super easy, barely an inconvenience!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, they get to Canterlot after like, ten minutes of screentime,"
"Oh, how do they get to Canterlot with a plan in such a short amount of time? Or how did they even cover that much ground?"
"I don't know! I was kinda hoping that when Storm King was playing with the sun and moon that it'll just symbolize that for every time he moved the sun and the moon once it'll symbolize that a day has passed, so... you know,"
"I don't think that's how time works buddy. So how do they get in?"
"By using a giant cake as a Trojan Horse!"
"What?"
"Yeah, Capper dresses up as a chef, and cons his way through the guards who accept him. Captain Celaeno and her pirate crew hiding in the cake with Spike being the candle, the Mane Five are pulling the wagon of cake, and Princess Skystar- to be honest, I really don't know where she's at,"
"Oh, that sounds like a very unrealistic plan but this is a kid's movie so who cares? I lost all logical thinking hours ago! It's all gone!"
"Yeah so then Pinkie is going to smile throughout the entire time and Applejack is going to tell her to stop smiling,"
"Wow, you'd think that after this entire time she'll learn her lesson,"
"Yeah, but she hasn't,"
"Pretty much,"
"Anyway, Grubber is going to notice the cake and try to grab a bite,"
"He's going to get a cake specifically made for Storm King? Does he have a death wish or something?"
"I have no idea, sir! But after he eats a piece he's gonna notice an eyeball blink and alert the guards,"
"Oh no!"
"But, it'll be too late and the Battle of Canterlot begins!"
"Oh boy!"
"Yeah, there's gonna be crazy acts of violence going on! Like Pinkie throwing cupcakes, Princess Skystar using Shelly and Sheldon as weapons, and picking up the guards and using them like bowling pins, Applejack using a lasso to tie down some guards, Rarity, and Capper using a ribbon to tie down some more guards, Fluttershy using the weapon of therapy, and Capper using Spike as a flamethrower!"
"Oh my god! Does Spike turn the guards on fire? Even though Fluttershy used her therapy, don't you think the guards are just doing their jobs?"
"Wow, that is a bit sadistic, but these are the bad guys,"
"Oh right, I almost forgot,"
"So anyway, Tempest and Storm King are shocked how they managed to get close to the throne room. So he uses the staff to create a tornado!"
"A tornado? Wow, this guy is pretty stupid!"
"Exactly! So you remember that huge cannon Pinkie used to launch the cake in the first act?"
"Yeah,"
"After Rainbow Dash says that 'you'll have to be flying faster than a speeding pegasus to break through the wind'. Pinkie decides that's a good idea with the cannon,"
"Alright, so they're gonna launch themselves?"
"They're gonna launch themselves!"
"That's a good idea if I do say so myself,"
"Yeah so Tempest is going to ask Storm King to give her horn, but Storm King is then going to say that he used her,"
"That's not a good idea. Don't you think it'll be better to have a more compelling story to have Storm King fix her horn and Tempest's character arc could've been more compelling and been better?"
"Nope!"
"Ah, yeah of course,"
"So anyway, Storm King and Tempest blast at each other but their magic meets and creates a mini explosion!"
"Well hasta la vista, Tempest,"
"Nope! Because the shockwave carried Tempest to the railing of the balcony and Twilight saves her from getting carried away from the tornado, and thus redeems Tempest in like five seconds!"
"In five seconds? Wow, that's faster than Starlight's redemption!"
"Yeah, so then Storm King is going use his staff to blast Twilight and Tempest! Then we are going to cut with the Mane Five and Spike who are squished in the cannon and are sent flying out of it."
"That almost sounds like suicide to Applejack, Spike, and Rarity! Pinkie Pie during all this time must be super depressed,"
"What?"
"Yeah, think about it every time she's in a dangerous situation of the movie she's doesn't care about her well-being. She must have thought 'well this is my one ticket out of here' kind of moments,"
"That's pretty dark for you to say that, are you okay buddy?"
"Yeah, there are so many plotholes that my brain is trying to point out every single one of them as we speak!"
"So anyway, they are going to land on Storm King right before he can use the staff,"
"Not so crazy plan after all,"
"Yeah, so the staff is going to get stuck on a glass pane window above the entrance of the balcony,"
"Alright,"
"And the Mane Six reunite and reconcile learning their mistakes and the magic of- sike! Rainbow Dash is going to ruin the moment by pointing out that their job isn't over!"
"Oh!"
"Yeah, so the Mane Six have to get to the windowpane above, by conga-lining from the ground to the staff,"
"Rarity can't use her magic?"
"Suspension of disbelief sir! It works every time!"
"Oh yeah, that's right I forgot about that,"
"But the Storm King is also on his way to grab the staff too, so it's him versus the power of friendship of what six ponies can do. So in a last desperate attempt, the Storm King jumps for the staff, misses and smashes into the window, and breaks it. Twilight, however, being exposed to the wind, grabs it then gets thrown into the tornado then dies,"
"Twilight dies? Well, it is a nice breath of fresh air seeing the hero-,"
"Nah, I'm just joking she survives,"
"Oh, right. That 'everyone thinks the main character is gone' cliche,"
"Yeah, so Twilight flies down with the staff and hugs the Mane Five and Spike,"
"That's sweet,"
"Tempest sees and begins to leave but Storm King is back!"
"Oh no!"
"Yeah, he fell on the railing and grabbed an orb that turns ponies into stone outta nowhere,"
"So Tempest uses her horn to zap him away?"
"No, she sacrifices herself,"
"Oh,"
"Yeah, she just jumps in front of the orb, takes the hit for the Mane Six, and Spike, turns into stone, spreads the gas to Storm King, tackles him down the balcony, and saves the day,"
"Oh, that's it?"
"Yep, Storm King falls and shatters into millions of pieces. Tempest, however, is saved by Twilight,"
"Why? She was trying to capture her the entire time,"
"Come on, sir. This is a My Little Pony movie, so of course, somepony needs to have some redemption,"
"Yeah, that's true."
"So, after she unturns Tempest becoming stone the Mane Six and Spike think about their past actions and what has occurred in the movie, having a mini existential crisis,"
"That does happen after an action movie,"
"Then they are all going to fix everything and reverse the magic that the staff did."
"I don't understand why not just use the staff to fix Tempest's horn then, use it to reverse its effects?"
"Oh- oh my god!"
"What- what's wrong?"
"Oh my god! I didn't even think about having them fix Tempest's horn then restoring magic to the three princesses! We fixed her character but not her horn!"
"I'm sure it's fine, people won't even notice,"
"Stupid, stupid, stupid-" The screenwriter started to facepalm his forehead every time he said 'stupid'.
"Oh my god! It's okay we'll move on!"
"Okay, yeah! I'm okay, I'm okay,"
"Okay,"
"Alright, so all three princesses get unturned into stone, and the magic of the staff also fixed practically everything in Canterlot and presumably every part of Equestria that the Storm King touched,"
"A happy ending!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Derpy gets unturned from stone so we're good,"
"Wait, now that I think about it why didn't the Mane Six and Spike just go to the Everfree Forest and grab the Elements of Harmony? Those elements play a huge part in the show,"
The screenwriter looked at the movie executive with a small silence standing between them. "So the movie can happen,"
"Oh yeah, that's right. There's money to be made!"
"Yeah so we cut to Spike opening the stage for Songbird Serenade and the Friendship Festival begins. Then Twilight sees Tempest sad about her horn."
"Yeah, since that makes total and logical sense,"
"So Twilight says that her horn belongs to somepony powerful like herself, then Tempest is going to perform some fireworks, then she's gonna reveal to Pinkie that her name is 'Fizzlepop Berrytwist',"
"Alright,"
"Pinkie freaks out, then that's it! That's the end of the movie!"
"Oh wow,"
"So what do ya think?"
"I feel like we're gonna make lots of money when we release this thing."
"Yeah, that's the spirit!"
"Actually I think we're gonna make so much money we might make have the number one film in Equestria on opening weekend!"
"Uhhhh..."
Domestic Box Office For Oct 6, 2017
