I Have No Wings and I Must Fly
I Have No Wings and I Must Fly
Thunder cracked over Ponyville as Rainbow Dash pierced the sound barrier. She swooped in low to the ground and spread her wings like a drag chute, floating to a stop right in front of Scootaloo whose ears were now ringing from the deafening sonic boom.
"Woah," breathed Scootaloo in admiration. "I'll never be able to do that."
"Sure you will," smirked Rainbow, touching down on all fours. "The hard part’s already over now that you can fly. With enough practice you'll be just as fast as me some day.”
"You really believe that?"
"Of course I do,” Replied Rainbow, slapping a hoof down on her shoulder. “Don’t sell yourself short. So how 'bout that race?"
Scootaloo squinted at her suspiciously. "I'll never win," she scoffed.
Rainbow Dash though for a moment. "What if... I race with one eye shut?" she winked.
Scootaloo pounded the ground with her hoof. "You're on!"
"Alright," laughed Rainbow, bouncing back up to idle her wings in the air. "Three laps around Ponyville from right here."
Scootaloo flapped into position exuberantly. "On my count," She demanded. "Ready… Set… Go!"
The two pegasi shot forward with a burst of speed. Off the starting line, Rainbow took a pony length lead but with one eye shut and the loss of her depth perception she had to take it slower to stay safe.
Scootaloo was surprisingly faster than Rainbow Dash remembered. Much faster. The two stayed side by side within a single wingspan as they followed the contour of the edge of town, weaving around trees and swooping over fences.
“Hey, you’ve been practicing in secret,” charged Rainbow, speeding up.
“Yep,” cackled Scootaloo.
They were neck and neck on the final lap with Rainbow pushing further above the speed she was comfortable with as she tried to hold her edge.
"I'm gonna getcha," laughed Scootaloo over the sound of their furious beating wings.
In Rainbow's blindspot the two bumped into each other and wobbled a bit off track. Rainbow took her eye off of the course for just a moment to reacquire Scootaloo who had disappeared from her sight. When she looked back, a high fence stretched right across her path. She climbed in altitude but with so little time to react, her hooves clipped the top of the fence and she was sent somersaulting into Scootaloo.
The two of them rebounded roughly off of the ground. Upsidedown and backwards, Rainbow Dash's wings caught on the top of a wrought iron fence as sudden horrific pain shot through her. She cleared the barrier and went rolling over and over in the dirt. Her crash came to an abrupt end when she smashed into the trunk of a tree and fell limp, knocked out cold.
Rainbow Dash opened her eyes and tried to shake off the grogginess of the anesthesia. She rolled over to see the blurry cutie mark of a nurse checking her monitors.
"Excellent, you're awake," chimed the nurse. "How are you feeling?"
"I don't know," groaned Rainbow Dash, rubbing her eyes. "Sore? And Hungry."
"I see," laughed the nurse. "I bet we can find you something. I'll page the doctor. She'll be in momentarily." She nodded once and then drifted from the room.
Rainbow rolled onto her back and sighed. No more racing with one eye shut, she mused. Especially with Scootaloo. She remembered being in a race with Scootaloo but couldn't recall anything specific from the race other than her surprise at how fast she had become. Everything else was a blur though it was obvious it didn't end well. She hoped Scootaloo was okay.
"Hello, Rainbow Dash" greeted the doctor. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay, I guess," she shrugged.
"That's good to hear." The unicorn doctor floated a medical chart in front of her face and adjusted her glasses. "Well there is some bad news, otherwise I'd say you were rather lucky considering the way that you crashed; it concerns your wings. They were very badly shredded in the accident and we couldn't save them."
"What?" Rainbow frantically shot up in bed and looked at her sides. Her whole midsection was obscured with white bandages. She couldn't move her wings at all. She began ripping wildly at the bandages.
"Oh, that wrap should stay on for a week," said the doctor worriedly. She pressed the call button with her magic.
As the bandages fell away, they revealed nothing. Rainbow couldn't recognize her own body. Her wings were gone, replaced with two gauze pads held on with tape.
"W-what the hell did you do to me?" screamed Rainbow Dash.
"Your wings were mangled and had to be surgically removed," explained the doctor, carefully.
"I don't believe you," she shot back. "I've been in tons of crashes and nothing like this has ever happened."
"You've never crashed like this before. You left pieces of your wings skewered on somepony's fence. Whatever was left was pulverized when you landed against a tree.
The nurse poked her head in the room and the doctor gave her the signal for a sedative.
"They'll grow back, right?" asked Rainbow, wide-eyed.
The doctor was taken aback by the endearingly naive question but shook her head slowly. "No, Rainbow Dash. I'm afraid you'll never fly again."
"You're lying!" she spat, pounding the bed.
“This will help with the soreness," interjected the nurse, brandishing a syringe. She poked Rainbow's shoulder with what was actually the doctor-ordered sedative.
"Listen," continued the doctor. "I realize this is a very traumatic experience and it's going to be a huge adjustment to make. Would you like some counseling?"
Rainbow Dash sat with her mouth open, somewhere between disassociation and a complete inability to conceptualize everything this meant for her. How could this have happened just from a stupid race?
Seeing her unresponsive, the doctor sighed. "That's okay. You don't have to decide this minute. It's an open invitation. I think we should keep you overnight for observation." She put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "I'll leave you to your thoughts for now."
Rainbow stayed sitting on her bed, alone, marinating in her own numbness, until it was shattered by another visitor.
"That was awesome!" exclaimed Scootaloo, bursting haphazardly into Rainbow's room. She had bandages wrapped around two of her legs and one adhered to her cheek, but she was clearly fine. "I almost had you," she continued. "We need to have a rematch for sure." It was then that she noticed one of the big gauze pads taped to Rainbow's side where her right wing should have been. Her smile vanished.
"R-Rainbow," she trembled. "Where are your wings?"
"They're gone," breathed Rainbow Dash, her eyes falling to the floor in despair.
"No way." She shook her head. "That's not true."
"I guess you're officially faster than me," she smiled weakly.
Tears began to stream down Scootaloo's face as she came in to hug Rainbow. "I'm sorry," she quivered. "I'm so sorry."
Rainbow Dash sat frozen with a thousand yard stare. She didn't hug back. "It's not your fault," she muttered absently. "I made a bad decision… I'll be fine." Those three words were what Rainbow Dash desperately wanted to realize, but coming from her own mouth, they rang hollow.
Spike followed the sound of the obnoxiously incessant pounding and flung open the treehouse door with a scowl. His demeanor quickly changed when he saw the rainbow fringed pegasus.
"Oh, Rainbow Dash, you're already out of the hos-"
"Is Twilight here?" she interrupted desperately.
"Upstairs," the dragon pointed behind him.
Rainbow brushed past him quickly toward the stairs.
Spike closed the door. "Sorry to hear about your…" he trailed off as he turned to see Rainbow already disappearing into the ceiling.
On the second floor, she found Twilight and Fluttershy seated at a table and looking over a book. Twilight glanced up in surprise. "Rainbow? They already released you? I'm so sorry about your-"
"Yeah, yeah," began Rainbow, breathlessly as she rushed up to the other side of the table. "Can you fix it?"
Twilight snapped the book shut, "Uh, fix it?" she asked quizzically. "Your wings?"
"Yeah, with magic," she pleaded.
Twilight gritted her teeth. "I don't think I can."
Rainbow furrowed her brow. "What? I know you know a wing spell," she charged.
"I do, but it's not exactly permanent and it only works on ponies that never had wings... Sorry," she frowned.
Rainbow closed her eyes and set her head face down on the table in defeat.
Twilight desperately wanted to offer her hope but couldn't gloss over the harsh reality of the situation. "I can look," she continued, "but I doubt I'll be able to find a spell that can do what you're wanting."
"This sucks," Rainbow spoke into the table with a muffled voice. "I can't even get into my house anymore."
"Umm, Rainbow Dash," began Fluttershy. "I have a guest room now. You can stay there for as long as you want."
Rainbow stayed silent, her face still smashed into the table. This wasn't the outcome she was planning on. Instead of getting her wings back, she now had to concede that she was helpless in the matter and acknowledge the dark void of a flightless lifestyle.
"Thanks, Fluttershy," she muttered slowly.
"Right in here," said Fluttershy, pulling open the guest room door of her country cottage.
Rainbow Dash walked in with nothing but her bandages. The room was on the ground floor and spacious. It had a bed, table, bookshelves. It was almost as nice as Fluttershy's own bedroom.
Rainbow flopped on the bed with shiftlessboredom on her face. "Well, now what?" she droned.
"Umm, you can read or follow me while I visit the creatures of the forest. I'll get you some jigsaw puzzles and paper to draw on."
"Okay," mumbled Rainbow. Her thoughts were slow to form and she had little motivation to do anything. It was like her brain was in a fog. She was flailing with nothing to grab hold of.
"Guess I'll stay here and... draw something," she shrugged.
Fluttershy brought her the paper and puzzles before leaving for her rounds with the animals.
In the early evening, Fluttershy returned to the room. "Rainbow," she called as she knocked quietly on the door. "Dinner is ready." She looked inside to see Rainbow Dash sleeping. On the table was a single crayon drawing of Rainbow Dash flying through a rainbow-colored shockwave. It had to be the sonic rainboom.
Fluttershy smiled faintly at the image and then frowned. "You didn't eat anything today," she whispered.
Rainbow Dash slept in till almost noon despite Fluttershy trying to wake her for breakfast. Though she was up, Fluttershy could not coax her from her room for lunch either. She just sat at the table moping and fidgeting her knee up and down nervousy.
Fluttershy brought a sandwich and a glass of juice in and set them on the table before her. "You need to eat," she pleaded. "You haven't eaten anything for over a day."
"Yeah, I guess," muttered Rainbow, staring listlessly down at the offering. "But to be fair, I was asleep most of that time."
"You should come outside today too," smiled Fluttershy.
"After I finish my sandwich," she sighed, still staring at the plate.
Fluttershy waited anxiously to see her take a bite but she remained a lifeless statue in her chair, seemingly detached from the world around her.
"Okay," agreed Fluttershy slowly. "See you outside… soon." She departed, returning to her usual routine. It was soul crushing to see Rainbow Dash like this. It had only been a day since her life had changed forever. Fluttershy knew she couldn't expect her attitude to rebound immediately, but she at least needed to take care of herself.
Rainbow did eventually come outside. She planted herself under a tree and peered into the chicken pen with the same emotionless gaze she gave the sandwich. Flightless birds, she thought. They're like me… sort of. Maybe not. They're intact and never knew flight like I did.
A shadow crossed her vision. "Hey, Rainbow Dash," called Scootaloo. "Twilight told me you were here. How are you doing?"
Rainbow shook her head slowly, still watching the chickens. "Not good. I don't want to do anything right now except fly and I can't."
"It's really hard now but after a while you'll be fine though, like you said," posed Scootaloo.
Rainbow sighed. "Can you imagine waking up one day without wings and then getting used to it?"
Scootaloo frowned. "Well… now that I can fly I can't imagine not being able to or getting used to that again, but you'd have to get used to it, right? I mean, what other option do you have?
Rainbow stared at Scootaloo's lithe, juvenile wings for a long time. "Sure," she finally agreed.
The day came where Rainbow's incisions healed. She lazily removed all of her bandages and dressings as she sat on the bed. On her sides were two tiny scars where her amazing wings once connected with her body.
"I look just like an earth pony now," she muttered, gently stroking one of the reddish tinted spots. They hurt, not the physical scars but her actual wings. Her wings, which were no longer there, we're giving her phantom wing pains.
All of her friends came by at least once to visit her at Fluttershy's cottage. Scootaloo came the most. Everyone was so sad about her loss. Rainbow didn't want to admit it to herself but seeing her friends did little for her anymore. Nothing did. It was like everything that was once meaningful in her life had the volume turned way down. At best she felt indifferent. At worst, resentful.
Twilight Sparkle confirmed she or Zacora couldn't find any leads for restoring her wings, extinguishing the last lingering iota of hope she had for a return to normalcy.
It wasn't just that she'd lost the ability to do anything she used to be able to do, but every moment of knowing the simple fact that she couldn't leave the ground made her unbearably anxious and shakey.
She gazed with hollow eyes into the vanity mirror across the room. Her rainbow-colored mane had been frazzled since the first time she woke up here. She didn't care. Sometimes Fluttershy would brush her, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered and when nothing mattered, it was impossible for anything to get better.
"The ladder only goes down," she whispered.
Rainbow glowered at the rays from the early afternoon sun and rolled away from them. She didn't know anymore how many days it had been since the accident. It was irrelevant. Life had been reduced to a sequence of merely existing in a hoofful of different places. Rinse and repeat.
The table was covered messily with so many drawings of pegasi, birds and wings that they were beginning to fall on the floor, where they would sit, getting trampled until Fluttershy picked them up again.
Every day they fought the same battles over eating and getting up. Every day Rainbow found herself waking up later, eating less and clinging tighter to her room and her bed. Her colorful tail and mane were beginning to fade.
Scootaloo visited semi-regularly. She hated seeing Scootaloo now, but she also hated that she hated seeing Scootaloo. She'd grown bitter and empty inside; she could only view the world in the narrow terms of those who had happiness when she didn't and those who had flight when she didn't. These two things were upsetting and anything else failed to make an impact on her at all.
The bedroom door swung open and Scootaloo pranced in. "Rainbow Dash, guess what?" she exclaimed.
Rainbow's eyes shot open in a scowl.
"We had track and field today and I did awesome! Look at all the ribbons I got for flying," she laughed. She began pulling them out of her saddle bag. "First in the hundred meter, two hundred meter and five K."
"How great for you," snapped Rainbow, viciously.
Scootaloo flinched in surprise. "Oh, sorry. I just…" Her eyes fell to the floor. "Sorry," she repeated, shaking in fear. She crammed the ribbons back in her bag and hurried out the door with her head hung low like a scared dog.
"W-wait, Scootaloo," called Rainbow. "I didn't mean…" her sentence was interrupted by the sound of the cottage front door latching shut.
She clenched her eyes shut and screamed in frustration. "You fucking monster. She just wants your validation. Are you such a broken piece of shit that you can't even allow her that?" She glanced at her pale, gaunt reflection in the mirror, which she had also come to hate.
It was like an addiction but biological, the strongest urge she'd ever felt. She was hardwired to fly and didn't know how to turn it off. Before the accident, Rainbow had never recognized that it was the most basic need she had after oxygen, and without meeting it, everything else in her life collapsed. It left a hole that could not be filled even as it consumed everything.
She pictured Scootaloo fleeing, crying all the way back to her house because her hero, a pegasus who couldn't even fly, now only saw her as a threat to her frail sense of self.
Rainbow ripped at her own mane as a terrible thought crossed her mind. The accident didn't change her. It revealed who she was all along: a selfish user, boastful and hollow inside. She was needy and fragile, only capable of empathy if she was feeling comfortable and fulfilled. Once the wings were gone, so was her protective facade and when that was gone, what else was there to Rainbow Dash?
Fluttershy finally dragged Rainbow from her room for dinner. It wasn't much of a victory but she'd take it. The two sat across from each other in uncomfortable silence as the sun began to set.
Fluttershy ate daintily slow. Rainbow Dash just sat, shaking her knee and staring at her reflection in her bowl of soup.
"Did you draw anything new today?" asked Fluttershy, trying to break the ice.
Rainbow Dash exhaled heavily, rippling her face in the soup. "I lost my job," she muttered. "I can't be a Wonderbolt. I can't go to Cloudsdale. I can't even go into my own house. My entire life, my identity have been destroyed. I'm nothing."
Fluttershy looked up from her soup in concern. "Oh, that's not true. You're Rainbow Dash. You're tough and fearless and rowdy and you always protect your friends."
I don't do any of those things, thought Rainbow to herself.
"We'll get through this together, continued Fluttershy. "and I promise you'll find purpose in your new life."
Rainbow sighed again. "This isn't about acceptance or finding purpose. This is about putting out the fire inside me before it burns me alive. This is a bad dream that I'm going to wake up from at some point. I have to believe that. That's seriously the only thing keeping me going right now. Because if this is real and I can't fly," she shook her head. "I don't want to be alive. I can't be alive."
The words felt like a dagger in Fluttershy's heart, and what made it worse was the fact that she didn't know how to respond to them.
"You know, most ponies can't fly," countered Fluttershy, staring down at the table. She flinched as Rainbow Dash brought her hoof down on the wood, clattering the bowls.
"Most ponies aren't pegasi," spat Rainbow, derisively. "They were never meant to fly. They don't have the itch that I do. Nobody does. I mean, look at you. Why are you even a pegasus?" she scoffed. "You live in a hole in the ground and talk to squirrels. Why do you get to fly and I don't?"
"I'm sorry," whimpered Fluttershy, fighting back tears.
Rainbow scooted out of her chair. "Yeah, well, that does me a hell of a lot of good." She walked into her room and shut the door, abandoning her untouched soup at the table.
Fluttershy put her head down over her bowl and began to sob quietly.
"Thank you for coming," began Fluttershy. "As you know, Rainbow Dash losing her wings has been very hard on her. She's been in a deep depression ever since and it just keeps getting worse. I thought you two could help her adjust and show her that a life crawling around in the dirt is still worth living."
Pinkie Pie and Applejack exchanged bewildered glances and then frowned back at her.
"I mean living life aerially disabled," she corrected herself.
"You mean like an earth pony lives?" sighed Pinkie Pie, rolling her eyes.
Fluttershy chuckled nervously. "No, I-I just mean help her get used to the idea of being stuck trotting upon the earth for the rest of her days and never again experiencing the liberating exhilaration of soaring through the clouds."
Pinkie Pie cringed and covered her face.
"Golly, Fluttershy," droned Applejack. "Never occurred to me I should maybe consider offin' myself fer bein' born earthbound, but you make a convincin' argument."
It took no small effort of cajoling to extricate Rainbow Dash from her bedroom, but eventually Applejack and Pinkie Pie got her all the way to Sweet Apple Acres, the furthest away she'd been from the cottage.
"Ever do apple buckin' before, Rainbow?" asked Applejack, placing the last empty bucket beneath the tree.
Rainbow Dash though for a moment, "Uh… I don't think so."
"It's fun and easy," she assured her. "Watch." Applejack bucked the trunk of the apple tree hard. A shower of ripe apples plummeted from the branches, piling high in the three buckets. "Okay now you try, Pinkie Pie."
"Woohoo!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie as she cartwheeled to her tree. She turned and gingerly poked the trunk with a single hind leg. A cascade of apples poured onto the ground, landing everywhere except in the buckets.
"Alright Rainbow. Your turn."
Rainbow Dash sighed sadly but bucked her tree just as Applejack had done. The branches shook and everypony watched as a single apple plunked in the bucket. She furrowed her brow and bucked again, harder this time. A second apple plunked in the bucket. She looked up in the tree wearily. If she could fly, she could whip up a whirlwind and strip all three trees at once.
“I don't think I have the build for this," she muttered. "I was made for speed."
"Well, yer right about that,'' agreed Applejack, ready to change the subject. "I bet even on the ground yer still faster 'n a greased pig on a waterslide. How 'bout a race?" She pointed across the field. "First one 'round the old oak tree and back here's the winner."
It was subtle, almost imperceptible but Applejack thought she caught the tiniest smirk on Rainbow's face.
"Okay," she agreed flatly.
Applejack knew she couldn't resist. Maybe she wouldn't even need to but she'd already planned to make sure Rainbow Dash won to help build up her confidence.
Applejack scuffed a line in the dirt and the three ponies lined up.
"On three," she announced. "One… Two… Three!"
Rainbow took an aggressive start, a welcome sight to the other two ponies who hoped it meant she was finding joy in something again.
But a mere few seconds into the race and suddenly Rainbow Dash went tumbling down on the ground.
"Are you okay?" asked Applejack, skidding to a stop. "What happened?"
"I just tripped, is all," coughed Rainbow. "Reset."
The three lined up again. "Aaaaaaand… Go!" They were off once more but again, only a few strides in, Rainbow Dash fell flat in a cloud of dust.
"Rainbow Dash?" called Applejack.
Rainbow remained sprawled out in the dirt, shaking with frustration. "I keep doing it," she choked. "It's automatic. I always try to transition to flying when I race and I don't have any wings to hold me up so I just trip." She gasped and began to sob loudly, her tears mixing with the dirt on her face to create mud.
"Aww, sugarcube." Applejack sat down and pulled Rainbow's head up to lay on her lap, shushing her. "That's just somethin' you can get used to over time."
"I'll never be whole again," she wept. "I'm broken forever. It's not supposed to be like this."
Pinkie Pie leaned over her, eclipsing the sun. "It's okay, Rainbow Dash. I know something that will bring you joy."
In Ponyville, the three of them stood before the towering, pink hot air balloon as it finished warming up. Rainbow Dash looked up at the contraption, skeptical but still intrigued which was the closest to feeling a positive feeling since the accident.
Pinkie Pie spun in a circle. "This is how we simple dirt crawlers- oops," she exchanged knowing glances with Applejack, giggling. "I mean, earth ponies, enjoy flying. Hop in everypony!"
They piled into the basket of the hot air balloon and Pinkie cast off the tie down. "Alright, hold on."
The balloon lifted off and Rainbow's eyes grew wide. She peered over the side and watched the ground drift away. It was once an everyday sight that had almost become alien to her now.
"No need to exert yerself at all,'' said Applejack, trying to talk up the virtues of balloon rides over flying. "Just sit back and fly away on the breeze."
"How fast does this thing go?" asked Rainbow, craning her neck out as far as she could.
"Well," began Pinkie Pie, "it doesn't really 'go.' it rises and falls and floats."
The buildings were so far down. They looked like toys now and she could see the colorful patchwork of the fields in the surrounding farmland.
Applejack watched warily as Rainbow began to breathe heavily with a far away look in her eyes.
"Uh, Rainbow Dash? Are you-"
Her concern suddenly became panic as Rainbow braced herself on the rim of the basket with her forelegs and then tried to pull up her hind legs as if she thought she could perch there.
Applejack shot forward and yanked her back down. "What in the hay are you doing?" she exclaimed.
"I'm trying to fly. Let me go."
Applejack gave her a perplexed look. "What? You have to stay in the basket. It's dangerous."
"Yeah," added Pinkie Pie in bewilderment.
"I'll be careful,” argued Rainbow. She slipped away, grabbed hold of one of the upright support ropes and stepped up on the rim, wobbling.
Applejack felt her stomach drop in terror. "Rainbow Dash," she shouted. She wrapped her forelegs around her midsection and pulled her back in, landing flat on top of her.
"Applejack, stop!" shouted Rainbow as she struggled to get free.
"You stop," she retorted. When it became clear Rainbow wasn't about to regain her composure, she turned to Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie, take us down, quick."
"Doing it," replied Pinkie Pie, opening the vents.
"Don't you dare," raved Rainbow Dash, with a sudden burst of power. She wrenched herself free and hurled her body toward the edge but Applejack grabbed her by the leg, bringing her down to the floor again.
Rainbow growled in frustration as Applejack tried to reestablish a restraint on her. She flipped over and threw a wild haymaker into Applejack's face. Applejack cried out and stumbled back into the side of the basket. Before she could recover from the blow, Rainbow Dash was squeezing her throat. The hat slipped from her head and flew away in the wind.
"Let her go!" screamed Pinkie Pie. "Are you crazy?" She attempted to wrestle Rainbow away with a headlock while Applejack tried desperately to pry her grip from her windpipe, but the pegasus seemed to have been taken over with a prodigious strength.
"Rainbow Dash," wheezed Applejack, her face turning blue. "Please!" She looked into her rage filled eyes and couldn't find Rainbow Dash in them at all. She couldn't undo the clamp on her throat and at her back was a lethal drop.
With her vision darkening, Applejack slammed her hooves down as hard as she could into the insides of Rainbow's forelegs and bowed forward with all the force she could muster. Rainbow's face connected hard with the headbutt and her grip loosened.
Pinkie Pie brought Rainbow Dash down to the mat while Applejack coughed and gagged.
Rainbow Dash gurgled and sputtered on the floor as blood flowed from her nose, over her lips and pooled in the back of her throat.
"I'm sorry," she panted frantically. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sor- I'm sss. I'm sss. I'm sssss."
Pinkie Pie and Applejack exchanged terror stricken glances as the balloon sank the final stretch of its descent.
The balloon happened to set down outside of town, near Fluttershy's cottage in the late evening. Rainbow Dash appeared to have herself under control again so the two earth ponies let her up and walked with her back to the house.
Fluttershy was reading at a little table outside when she noticed the three returning from their day together.
"You're back," she chimed. "How was your-" her cheerful expression changed to one of shock when she saw Applejack's swollen eye and the blood on Rainbow Dash's face. "Oh my goodness! What happened?"
"Well, we just had a little miscommunication about how to behave in a hot air balloon," grinned Applejack. "But it's okay 'cuz we're all on the same page now, right Rainbow Dash?"
"I'll be inside,” muttered Rainbow.
The three waited for the cottage door to close behind Rainbow before speaking again.
"She went totally nucking futs in the balloon and we had to hold her down and make an emergency landing," explained Pinkie Pie, bluntly.
"Oh, dear," she sighed in despair. "And she attacked you?"
"Yeah," breathed Applejack. "'cuz I wouldn't let her balance on the edge of the basket like a maniac with a death wish."
"She's never done anything like that before."
Applejack shook her head. "Maybe bein' up in the air again set her off."
"She needs help," interjected Pinkie Pie. "Like professional mental help."
Fluttershy sighed. "I'll look into it tomorrow." It felt so tragic and disappointing that it was coming to this. Fluttershy felt like a failure but she was just outmatched by the task.
Applejack nodded. "A word of advice though, don't tell her 'bout it till you have help with you… Are you gonna be okay for tonight?"
"We'll be fine. She's probably already asleep…" Fluttershy frowned. "And she'll be asleep all of tomorrow if I don't stop her."
"Okay," sighed Applejack. "Good luck."
As the sun began to set, Fluttershy watched the two ponies sail the balloon back into Ponyville.
She gathered up her book and headed back into the cottage. As she passed the table, she was startled to see Rainbow Dash sitting there, her eyes transfixed on the wall in an unblinking gaze.
"Oh, Rainbow Dash." She fumbled her book to the floor in surprise. "I thought you went to bed."
Rainbow gave no acknowledgement of the words or Fluttershy's presence. Her mouth was still caked in dried blood and she was shaking her knee, a nervous tick she'd developed since the accident.
Fluttershy swallowed. "We should, um… clean you up." She went to the sink, ran water over a rag and wrung it out. Then she turned back to Rainbow who hadn't moved a muscle save for her vibrating leg. "I'll just…" She moved the rag up to her face and began dabbing her lips, still not eliciting any reaction.
Unable to take the uncanny silence any longer, Fluttershy tried to get some sort of response. "So, did you enjoy your day with Pinkie Pie and Applejack?"
What a stupid question, she immediately thought. I'm cleaning blood off of her face after her day with Pinkie Pie and Applejack.
"Did you have any fun at all today?"
Rainbow Dash remained silent and stone-faced as ever.
Fluttershy wiped the last bit of blood from her nose. "Please say something," she whimpered. "Rainbow Dash?"
Still nothing. She called again in a slightly louder version of her meek, airy voice. "Rainbow Dash?"
"Yeah, it's fine." replied Rainbow. "Everyone's fine."
Fluttershy bit her lip and tried not to cry at the seemingly arbitrary and absent response. Was she losing her cognitive abilities or hearing things now? Rainbow Dash seemed to be eroding away before her eyes. "You should go to bed early," her voice cracked. "You'll feel better in the morning."
Rainbow Dash nodded slowly, "Yeah… Yeah."
Fluttershy got up in the morning early as she always did and headed downstairs to make breakfast. Before she could even begin, however, she noticed something different about today.
For the first time since her stay, Rainbow Dash's door was open voluntarily. Not only that but she was voluntarily awake. Not only that but Fluttershy could hear what sounded like happy humming coming from inside the guest room.
Wide-eyed in surprise, she wandered closer. "How are you doing today, asked Fluttershy as she drifted into the bedroom. "Oh," she gasped. "Uh, lovely pictures." She tried not to betray an air of dismay at the many large sketches of wings and feathers and flying things adorning her floor and wall.
"Thanks, Fluttershy," smiled Rainbow as she turned away from grinding a blue crayon into the wallpaper. "I'm great today. I actually feel hopeful for the first time since the accident."
"That's wonderful," gasped Fluttershy. "What changed?"
Rainbow exhaled dreamily. "Well, I've had a lot of time to think... about not being able to fly and then suddenly I realized all I need is a wing transplant, duh," she laughed.
Fluttershy's face fell.
"So I just need you to give me your wings, Fluttershy."
Hearing the request was surreal, almost an out of body experience. She froze solid, thinking she misheard. "I'm sorry, what?"
Rainbow Dash gestured to her own back, vehement about the soundness of her proposal. "Give me your wings and then I put them on me and then I can fly again."
Fluttershy took a step back, fear rising within her. "Rainbow, there's no such thing as wing transplants and even if they were-"
"Just give me one, Fluttershy, ONE wing," she pleaded, closing the distance between them. "You have two; I have zero."
"If I gave you a wing, NEITHER of us could fly." She stumbled backward, beginning to take short, panicky breaths.
"PLEASE," continued Rainbow Dash on the verge of tears. "I can't take this anymore."
"I'm sorry, I can't," whimpered Fluttershy.
"You're so selfish!" shrieked Rainbow. "Give them to me, now!" She lunged forward, tearing rabidly at the pegasus.
Fluttershy jumped back and scampered away out the door. She slammed it shut and threw her weight against it just as Rainbow crashed into it, collapsing to the floor with a thud.
"Open the door, Fluttershy!" she screamed, pummeling the wood between them.
"What do I do?" Fluttershy began to weep into her hooves as she sat on the floor, bracing the partition.
"Listen," began Rainbow manically. "I'm not angry. I just want to talk. You're being ridiculous."
Her voice had leveled off from anger abruptly but her violent assault on the lockless door continued.
"We can talk through the door," sobbed Fluttershy.
"But I can't see your wing- face. I just want to see you while we talk." Rainbow's hooves scratched slowly down the length of the wood, sending chills up Fluttershy's spine.
"No," cried Fluttershy. She gasped as Rainbow bucked the door, sending a shockwave through her back that likely would have sent it flying off its hinges had she not been there to absorb the blow.
"You open this fucking door right now, you evil witch!" howled Rainbow Dash. She twisted the knob back and forth, lunging and grunting and frothing at the mouth. Her methods had lost all coherency and devolved into a horrific tantrum as she ripped books off of shelves and smashed ceramic knick knacks on the wall. She flung over the table with a tremendous crash and then she was back at the door, panting raggedly and jiggling the knob weakly.
"It's okay, Fluttershy. I'm fine. Everything's fine. Just open the door so we can talk."
Fluttershy could probably get up, gallop out the front and be airborne before Rainbow could even leave her room but she couldn't just leave her to her own devices. She was totally unhinged and likely a serious threat to herself and others.
It was then that Angel, her pet bunny, poked his head into the room.
"Angel," she gaped. "Get me a chair." She pointed desperately across the room to the dinner table.
Angel nodded and hopped over to the nearest chair. He grabbed it with his paws and strained to push and pull it but it wouldn't budge from the spot. He turned back to Fluttershy and shrugged in helplessness.
"Oh, stupid, useless woodland creatures," she blurted in a sudden lapse of her patient and kind composure. "Angel, just go get help. Get Twilight Sparkle. Get anypony and bring them back here."
Angel gave a salute before turning to leave.
"Fluttershy," panted Rainbow Dash. "I thought you were my friend. Why are you being so cruel to me? Do you enjoy seeing me in pain?"
Fluttershy buried her face in her hooves as tears streamed down her face.
The sun sank lower in the sky but Angel or help still hadn't arrived. Fluttershy had decided to stay at the door until she had assistance, viewing the gamble of leaving to find something to block the door as not worth the risk. But now it was beginning to seem that she'd be forced to rethink her plans.
Rainbow Dash, by her guess, hadn't been at the door for some time. She had given up trying to engage Fluttershy directly and instead took to pacing about the debris field she had created, muttering nonsense and obscenities. Now however, she was silent and had been for a while.
Her deranged ranting and her violent outbursts were terrifying but the silence was no less so. What was she doing? Resting... or plotting? Was she even still in there?
In a heartstopping moment of panic, Fluttershy remembered the room's window. The window couldn't open very wide and it was probably too small for a pony her size to escape through. She'd have to break it in any case and she would have heard that… unless she had already broken it during her initial rampage.
Fluttershy slid silently down to the floor and turned her ear to the crack beneath the door. If she held her breath, she could hear what sounded like the ruffling and tearing of paper. She didn't care if she was drawing or destroying books. The sound was at least mildly reassuring that Rainbow was still there and as okay as she could be at the moment.
Fluttershy returned to her sitting position and began to contemplate her next course of action when she heard a whisper that made her jump.
"Fluttershy," called Rainbow Dash. "Are you still there?"
"Yes," she answered nervously. "What is it?"
"I-I just wanted to tell you," she fumbled through her thoughts. "I don't- I don't need your wings anymore."
"Oh, well that is nice," replied Fluttershy. "Thank you for telling me."
"I just need some feathers," continued Rainbow. "Just give me a few of your feathers. Please."
"Would that make you happy?" sighed Fluttershy.
"Yes. Yes it would."
"Okay," she replied, stretching out her wings. It was a small price to pay for keeping Rainbow calm and distracted. She ruffled and plucked out a few feathers, making sure to get them from all over so as not to compromise her flight ability. Then she stuffed them one by one under the door.
"Oh, thank you," rejoiced Rainbow excitedly. "They're- they're perfect."
Fluttershy could hear her gathering them up in a frenzy and then trudging back into the mess of broken furnishings and decor.
It was at that moment that Fluttershy decided to make her move. She shot up quietly and dashed over to the table to grab a chair, she rushed back silently and tilted the back of the seat under the doorknob. The back legs rested right in a wide gap in the floorboards, locking it in place. Perfect.
Fluttershy exhaled a sigh of relief.
Rainbow Dash stared at herself in the shattered vanity mirror, gobsmacked. Her wings were back and better than ever. "Fl-Fluttershy," she stammered in disbelief. "My wings! You have to see this!" She ran to the door and wrenched the knob but was still unable to move the door.
"Fluttershy. Are you there? You have to open the door. This is amazing!" Her heart pounded with elation. "Hello?" She whirled around to the window. "I have to try them out," she panted.
Rainbow grabbed the broken leg of a chair and bashed out the window glass. She put her forelegs and head into the gaping hole and then wriggled her way through. She set all four hooves on the ground and almost lost her breath when she stretched her new wings in the early evening air. They were still a little stiff. She galloped into the Everfree Forest, letting the wind flow over them, rustling her feathers. She began to giggle with joy, pumping her wings in anticipation of lift off. She picked up speed, weaving through the trees and then suddenly she could see a clearing just ahead. "Here we go," she breathed, grinning ear to ear.
At the very moment she exited the treeline she leapt into space and her hooves left the ground. A full body rush shot through her like nothing she'd ever felt. It was like an oasis after crawling through the desert. It was like coming home after being adrift at sea. Rainbow laughed as she dove and barrel rolled through the air.
Fluttershy, she thought. I have to find her and show her. I have to show everypony.
Fluttershy flew above Twilight Sparkle as she galloped to the house. She lit on the ground before her front door. Once inside, she was relieved to see the chair still bracing closed the bedroom.
"She's in here," she breathed, moving the chair out of the way.
"Rainbow," called Twilight. "It's Twilight. We're coming in." She pushed the door open. "Are you ok-" she trailed off when she saw the trashed room. "Jeez... Where is she?"
Fluttershy gasped, spotting the broken window. "Oh, dear. She got out."
The two ponies raced back outside and around to the exterior of the window. On the ground they found broken glass and a smattering of red on the green grass.
"Looks like she cut herself up pretty badly climbing out," said Twilight.
"I'll search from the sky," proposed Fluttershy.
"Wait. I have a better idea." Twilight's horn began to glow a brilliant purple, making the blood on the ground fluoresce. "The trail leads toward the forest."
The two of them hurried into the trees, following the alarmingly abundant drip drip of fresh blood.
If she keeps losing blood like this, thought Twilight, she's going to run out of stamina and have to stop somewhere. Then they'd find her, but what was even going through Rainbow's mind right now. Was she running away? Why?
The trail led them an inordinate distance into the forest but suddenly the trees ended and so did the blood trail.
Twilight and Fluttershy screeched to a halt, mouths open in shock. "No," breathed Twilight.
At the very edge of the woods was an abrupt drop leading straight down into a chasm. Twilight stepped forward and peered over the edge. It was a ways down and she couldn't make out anything at the bottom. "Fluttershy," she began, grimly. "You're going to have to go down there and look."
"I don't want to," shrieked Fluttershy.
They stood there In silent horror for several moments as a chilling breeze ripped through them.
"Okay," Twilight finally said. "I'll go with you." Her horn began to glow white and a small fluffy cloud materialized from thin air at the cliff's edge. She leapt on top of it and it began to sink down along the rock face.
Fluttershy bit her lip in despair and followed, fluttering just above her.
Twilight wanted to remain positive about the situation but her pragmatic brain wouldn't let her.
As they got closer to the ground, things began to come into focus and they could see a solitary figure lying motionless in the dirt.
Fluttershy whimpered and then began to sob.
"No," groaned Twilight as she saw the unmistakable multicolored tail of Rainbow Dash.
The two landed and Fluttershy immediately collapsed to the ground, heaving with tears streaming down her face.
Twilight approached Rainbow, who was on her side in a pool of blood, eyes open with tongue lolled out. On her back though was something curious, blank paper, seemingly folded and structured, smattered with a few yellow feathers. Although twisted and broken, the assemblage had an uncanny resemblance to a small pair of wings.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading!
Ignore the date on the last post and don't be afraid to leave a comment if you have a thought.
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